The jumping buddies group

[[Bu...]]

Great to see so many people doing well. I had a blip this morning by worrying about symptoms. Nova you've done a lot to put my mind at rest. I am getting a blood test by the doctor but that's for my own peace of mind. I'm sure I'm dealing with benzos. My poor old CNS has been a bit quieter this morning.

One month off. So good to see!!! Saga, I'm also dealing with fatigue. And Big, I am dealing with a bit of sickness / dizziness. You lived quite near me, Big when you were in England. I'm Cambridge.

 

Love Buddy

[[...]]

Buddy, I hope all is well with your blood tests! Glad things have quieted down for you!!

 

Be well!

 

[[Bu...]]

G. Long live your window!

 

Love B.

[[Sa...]]

By all means Buddy, have the blood work done if it gives you peace of mind. I hope you're getting a break from the heat as well.

 

School is finished for your daughter? Enjoy your time with her!

[[...]]

Thanks Buddy!

 

We're getting there, slowly but surely!!

 

[[Bu...]]

I've decided to have the bloods done because my symptoms are severe but my usage was quite low. Also I improve after eating something salty so I want to check for low salt levels. (Fortunately my doctor has agreed.) I am sure things will be fine but I am struggling with this debate between benzo or something else or benzo and something else all the time. I think I can go along with working on the benzo assumption while I rule out other things. I think that's where I am at the moment. I am struggling a lot with these electric shock / jerk sensations. it's my worst symptom by a long way. When it lessens I can actually sleep quite well.

 

It may be that I am perimenopausal as well and that fluctuating hormone levels are feeding into it.

 

Onwards and upwards. I am going out this afternoon to visit a friend who has just had a baby.

 

Lots of love Buddy X

[[Bi...]]

Hi everyone

Slept in till 7am today. What a blessing. Felt kinda sad that I have woken up every day for six months feeling nauseous. Tired of this! But I pulled on my optimistic hat and decided to look at improvements. Number 1 is of course am not on benzos (huge). 2. I am not actually throwing up. 3. The length of time I am sick us getting smaller.

Like you all say this is an exercise in patience. Love and gratitude to you all. The few people I have told now expect me to be well now. This may be even harder for them to understand that I still have a way to go. I can see impatience in them already. Lucky we have each other.

[[Sa...]]

Nice Big!  Of course it would be better not nauseous, but hey, sleep is sleep and you're not on the drugs..right on all accounts...I hear you though, every morning the thought of no, not again, you've go to be kidding me...I'm glad you see the changes already. It's important to see the positive changes, even if they're small ones.

 

I'm already tired of others expectations...I know what this takes- I accept this, I know your situation is the same, people don't know and we can't begin to explain. Their eyes glaze...yes, love and gratitude for sure that we have each other...

[[No...]]

Hi Big ... another Buddy once advised "Fake it 'til we make it" ... regarding interactions with folks who have not gone through this process and have their own expectations of us and "voice" them ... sometimes it may become necessary to not be "precisely truthful" in all interactions ...

 

I am proud of the effort I have put into this process ... and I have no control over it other than remaining benzo-free and patiently waiting for enough Time to pass until my recovery is complete ... and I am "impatient" ... and I do not "understand" why this process can take so long for some of us ... if I have difficulty with "acceptance" I can understand how difficult it may be for "outsiders" to practice unconditional acceptance in their relationships with me ...

 

What colour is your "optimistic hat" ... I wear one of those Humphrey Bogart slouch hats ... and when I can I wear it with a touch of swagger ...

 

Good Healing ...

[[Di...]]

It's one week since I started my GVC (Great Vapor Caper) and things are pretty good. I slept really well last night (9 hours!). I will probably continue my GVC for another couple of days, but I'm getting bored with it.

[[Sa...]]

Yup Nova, I'm a great" fake it till I make it" person. I agree it's the only way to go. The very few people who know what's happening truly don't/ can't understand this. I'm already bored by even the best- intentioned questions...everything you've said is bang on...

 

Whoa DP, 9 hours of sleep is great! Bored with the GCV...I think you're ready

[[Di...]]

Yeah, I think I'm ready too. My sleep has been a bit up and down this last week, which could have just been my body having its last little grumpy over not getting any worthwhile valium.

 

I think I'll see if I can continue to have reasonable sleep (although I doubt I'll get 9 hours every night..lol..) over the next couple of nights, and then by early next week I think I'll say "I'M DONE!!".  Woo Hoo !!!

[[Sa...]]

Last little grumpy..LOL  reasonable sleep..I hear you!I can't tease since I know it's been an issue before..I'd kiss anything in gratitude if I ever slept for 9 hours 

 

Hope "reasonable " stays!

[[Bu...]]

Hello everyone,

 

Welcome Diaz and good luck with it all.

 

I also got 9 hours, plus or minus a few jerks. I'm learning that a bit of dried bread helps me. Banana or a biscuit has too much sugar so sets me off.

 

Big you are doing really well. Great!!!

 

Lots of love Buddy.

[[Bi...]]

Hi everyone

Just got back from Saturday morning meditation. Couldn't focus but hey there's still a positive energy to be had from sitting around with nice, gentle people. It makes me laugh when people say I should be better now that I am off. They were kinder before. But yeah it's ok. We can't believe the damage ourselves so can't expect much from others. I just lie and say I'm fine. Then I try to protect myself from stress by staying quiet and calm. Totally believe in faking it. A lot of this is the mind.

Threw away most of my V today. The tiny slivers I watched dissolve down the drain. Prob shouldn't have but it seemed more permanent that way as couldn't fish them out. I have so many hidden in different places will take awhile to find them all. Was a happy moment.

Feeling good right now. Want to start cooking again. Maybe will help the nausea if I eat tasty food. Do you hate food right now? Nothing tastes good it's all blah.

Nova you made me laugh about your hat. I tip my optimistic hat to all of you good people. 

[[Bu...]]

Big,

 

Your Sat morning meditation must be quite late in the day. It's 10:17 here and I though you were about 7 hours ahead. Your doing really well! Congratulations for getting rid of the rubbish.

 

A happy, happy moment.

 

Love Buddy.

[[...]]

Good morning Big, Buddy, Nova, DP, and Saga! You sound well

 

9 hours of sleep is so awesome! I got 7 last night, and slowly my sleep is returning again without meds!

 

:smitten:

[[Bi...]]

Hi Buddy

Ha ha so I did a bit of shopping. Bought the cutest coat  (maybe am feeling better  ). It's getting on to dinner time now. Am making pizza and Greek almond biscuits for dessert. Am trying to distract myself with food.

[[Bu...]]

Big?

 

Sounds good. Can I come?

 

Love Buddy

[[Bi...]]

Aaw that would be the best! It'll be ready in about 5.

Further to my plan of distraction, distraction, distraction plan on cooking a lot. I did just want to sit on the couch but I end up reading benzo buddy stories about things getting worse after 1 month, 2, 5...even 5 years out! So when I feel great another (nasty) voice in my head adds 'you won't be for long'.

It's really cold and rainy today you'll feel right at home buddy 

[[Sa...]]

Wow G! That's fantastic since I know you've had trouble sleeping!

 

You too Buddy, sleep without the twitching waking you is great!

 

Nice job getting rid of your stashes Big, it's very liberating to destroy the poison. I have to say I'm not terribly interested in food right now..most of the time everything tastes like it's burned...I can appreciate buying a new coat though

 

Just saw this...Big- don't scare yourself...I know,easier said than done..enjoy your pizza!

[[Bu...]]

Everyone is different Big. There are a lot of stories like that but there are also people who heal really quickly. You could be one of them! Enjoy your meal and enjoy feeling well.

 

How are you doing Saga?

 

Love Buddy.

[[Sa...]]

Hi Buddy, pretty good, eating breakfast and working a half day...I had some good sleep too..it makes a world of difference!

 

Now,if  I could only find some energy I could handle the rest of the sxs...still in the cocooning mode when I'm not working...I'm just going with it, no point in fighting it!

 

Enjoy the day, I'll be back later..

 

[[Bu...]]

Hi there, goodnight all from the UK

 

It is really brilliant to hear how great everyone is doing. Saga I hope your half day at work went well. Big, your energy comes bounding in through the computer (though it'll be the middle of the night when I write this), G I am glad your sleep is getting better.

 

I don't want to put a dampener on things. I've had a bit of a hard day. The pain around my mouth has been bad and I've been anxious about twitches. Some of it is benzo and some of it is my health anxiety and some of it is the heat. It is really, really hot here. Onwards and upwards to another day.

 

Almost time for my marmite.

 

Lots of love Buddy.

[[Bi...]]

Hi all

Rough night, cooking was a disaster. Nothing worked and it's hard to believe I'm not cursed. Thank goodness it's Sunday. Have been able to get back to sleep till 7 for two days now but the price seemed to be more trouble getting off to sleep at night.

It is like we have been dropped into hell and told to make our own way out. We have no map, no idea of how long it will take and nothing and no one to help us. But what choice do we have? Living IN hell is not an option.

Good to see that you got some sleep Saga and G. Sleep would have to help with brain repair.

Buddy I hope you are also getting rest. I try to have energy (you know a lot of it is just convincing myself, right?). What is your mouth problem? It's not sore and cracked lips is it? Cos Vaseline sorted that out.

Don't you just dream of going to a nice convalescent hotel somewhere, maybe the Swiss Alps, to recover? This is hard!