The jumping buddies group

[[No...]]

Buddy ... thank you ... today for me is not a window ... and it is not "storming" either ... there seems to be a place in between many of us experience as the "doldrums" ... sort of a pause ... sort of low background symptoms ... no kettle drums ... I welcome these times as a respite ... another aspect of the process ...

[[No...]]

I live in Halifax ... the Atlantic is close by all around ... here is a video I often use when I need some soothing ...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2e7VMqJKt4

 

The rainbow at the end is our healing ... our destination ...

[[Bi...]]

Hi everyone

Another OK day. Still have my morning nausea hell but I can almost set my clock by it 4am to 8am. My 'morning sickness'. To deal with it I have to sit upright the minute I wake up, no lying in it makes it worse. I am as jumpy as a cat and my mouth 'acid' is eating my mouth badly. But nothing is as bad as I imagined. I refuse to say 'so far'. I can't believe I can exist without valium. Every day is a celebration.

Saga, Buddy, Nova and Wondernova (and anyone else who has jumped) so glad to have you as brothers in arms. Saga I have watched your progress and Drews so closely and you are both doing so well. So happy for us all. Almost made it thru two weeks of work, only one sickie. The worst symptom is that antsy anxiety. But the next time it happens (and have been lucky I haven't had much of it) I plan to swim and if I can't swim I will go on the treadmill. Feel the need to move. But that's a good thing, right? Can you believe we did it. My doctor who said I could never live without medication can stick it up his jumper. I can, I will, I did!

[[No...]]

Bigmistake ... good to hear ... seems you have quite a bit of "bounce" ... finding what helps and doing it when we can is great ...

 

Back four years ago when I was "looking into" getting off K I had 3 shrinks and my gp tell me I was too old to stop the meds and I needed to be on ADs to help me "in the future" ... and one told me I needed "anger management" classes ... at least that one got something right ... did taper and 6 months of being off on my own ... and finally connected with BB last April ...

 

We will get through this ...

 

Have a good day ...

[[Bu...]]

Hello everyone.

 

Elevensies from the UK!

 

Lovely to hear all these bouncy posts. Well done to you both for going where no doctor said you could. Bigmistake you have so much energy. It's great!

 

Thank you for that calming video, Nova. I will think of the rainbow as healing! Nova you and I sound as though we might be in a similar space at this hour.

 

My sister and her baby boy are coming later and we're going to have a nice lunch in the sun. I am going to try and stay away from anxiety today. I do think I might be improving slightly on the anxiety front at least.

 

Buddy

[[Bi...]]

Hi Nova

This has been one of the most perplexing aspects of this journey. The lack of support from doctors. They just don't get it! The anxiety I have now is 20 times what I initially took the pills for. But I have better skills. I would cut off my arm before I would take that toxic waste now. Once I got a taste of what withdrawal was I became determined. I just knew I had to go thru pain to get out, but why delay the inevitable? Isn't it wonderful that the numbers we now have in our head are not dosages but days away from benzos.

Nova you are so brave to go against the advice of 4 docs. I told my doctor in the first year I didn't think they were a good idea as I felt the addictive pull every morning (I had a hangover every morning). But he said it was a sign I should take more. Pig.

Anyway all history now. Yeah I have bounce, I'm so glad and on this thread I can say it. Felt rude saying it to others who were still tapering.

[[No...]]

Bigmistake ... I believe "always speak your truth" ... no matter where anyone is on this road ... no matter what they are going through in the moment ... hearing "truth" as another buddy experiences it shares a moment of compassion and support ... no matter that I may not be able to hear it "right now" ... I have heard it and it becomes a part of me ...

[[Bi...]]

Hi Nova

I was scared to put happy posts on in case it all changed tomorrow. But that is silly. Everyone here knows we go up and down on this journey. I quarantine my reading to positive threads at the moment. I will worry about symptoms if they happen.

I scared myself in the beginning imagining symptoms that weren't there and thinking my life was over.

Good luck and healing to you. 

 

[[Bu...]]

I agree about he honesty. I have always been able to be really honest on here when I haven't on other boards. Nova you have a great way of understanding where we are and accepting. You don't seem to mind how many times we go over new ground.

 

It's really nice to see people moving on. Bigmistake you are doing so well! I am certainly having a better day than yesterday.

 

But I have this struggle all the time working out what is benzo withdrawal and what isn't. I got really hungry a few minutes ago and my symptoms were reving. I had a roll and they went away. It leaves me asking. is this something else which is where I spent most of yesterday. Does hunger cause reved symptoms. I don't know how many times I've asked that? I guess only time will tell me.

 

Love Buddy

[[Sa...]]

Good morning everyone! yes, Big , I'm happy for all of us too! I'm on  day 3 of a window, and it's giving me HOPE!  I know this is a long long road, but every day that passes OFF this poison is a gift!

 

I have nothing good to say about Drs either. I was so excited my first visit post jump, I lied about most of my sxs. When he heard about the heart palps and insomnia his suggestion was original anxiety returned- need to go back on

 

I'm not up for the treadmill quite yet- good for you,Big, do a mile or so for me, ok!

 

Buddy, I never had an increase in sxs with hunger, but maybe?

[[Bi...]]

Hi Saga

It's good to see you (insert virtual hug). Your doc suggested you go back! Is he still alive? I changed docs twice. Even then new one obviously thinks I'm coo coo. She said I would need ADs. I muttered I don't believe in them. She gave me such a haughty look like who the hell am I? Ha, just someone who knows. And who will never mess with brain drugs again. I've been lucky so far. Most of the time, most days I have minor symptoms now. For me, this stuff is in my head. I think this cos my anxiety ends when I get to work. On the dot.

Getting straight out of bed helps so much. I've been watching old films. It's pretty weird watching a whole film before work. But who cares it works.

Buddy I try not to think. My mind can scare me so I stay distracted. I try not to have any time when I can think and this way time is going, just feel joy that we are on the other side. 

[[Sa...]]

:hug:back to you! Yes, he's still alive I printed copies of the news article from the Oregon bend from the in the news section- handed him one and littered the waiting room with copies.

 

It does make me crazy about the sheer ignorance...sigh....unless I'm dying I'm not planning any return visits..I don't really expect them to get this either. It's just disappointing they're so quick to try throwing other drugs into the mix.

 

I'm going to say with certainty I will never take another psychotropic med....

 

Who cares if you watch a movie before work keeping distracted is the key, I've never watched so much tv..so be it- we are OFF this crap!

[[Bu...]]

Well done the two of you. Lovely to hear! Those windows sound great. I'm having a better day too.

 

Buddy

[[Sa...]]

Yay, Buddy! I only had one of two very brief windows during my taper, so this is VERY exciting for me! I feel if I can hold onto this feeling it will get me through the rough times to come.

 

I'm so happy you're feeling better today! I always wondered how a window felt, it's unmistakable! Still tons of sxs- the extreme fatigue can take a hike anytime now

 

Thank you for starting this thread, there are so many of us "coming out of the darkness" the same time

[[Bu...]]

Oh Saga I am very happy I started this thread as well. It's lovely to have so many of us connected and see so many of us doing well. I am delighted about your window. You deserve it, you've been through a lot.

 

Enjoy today!

 

Lots of love from the UK

 

Buddy

[[Bu...]]

Think I might have had a window today. been playing with my daughter and the water pistols in the garden.

 

Buddy

[[Sa...]]

Nice, Buddy! It's a wonderful feeling, isn't it?!? Water pistols sound like fun; I need to borrow a child   have to cherish the good times!

[[Bu...]]

We got pretty soaked!

 

B.

[[...]]

Hi everyone.... Wow what a difference a couple of days makes. Seems like  everyone on such a positive note right now. That is great for all of you. So happy to read this thread and for the "moment" no suffering...

 

Hoping I can jump in and ask a question:  anyone dealing with muscle pain that seems to come later in the day when your a  bit more tired That's my norm lately , plus a couple of good headaches !!! The arms get so weak and sore, aggravated by typing ......  I'm sure WD... But always nice to confirm others may experience the same thing. I keep reading from others  about the fear that something "else" could be wrong. That these symptoms seem so crazy sometimes, hard to believe they are all WD..... The reassurance from others helps keep us away from more testing and other diagnosis ...like the fibromyalgia one... Seems like a lot of women on here get that one , and maybe it's simply all WD.....thanks for any input when someone has time....

[[Bu...]]

Hello DLW and good morning from the UK,

 

I am really enjoying this thread. It's very positive.

 

I get a lot of muscle pain, DLW and twitches and jerks. Mine comes on mostly at rest. I get it around my mouth, my jaw and throat and in my legs. Spasms as well. I think we are all very unique in this. I am also having a huge problem sorting out is it benzo or not. The conclusion I have come to really is wait and see. I am certain some of it is, I am not sure it all is. However, I am 2 1/2 weeks benzo free and I'm still alive so what ever I have can't be too serious. That's just the way I'm looking at things.

 

Saga and Big, hope you are doing well. Drop in when you get a chance!

 

Lots of love to you all.

 

B. 

[[...]]

Buddy, you sound so good!! I'm glad to hear it!!

 

[[Bi...]]

Hi DLW no don't have that symptom. Mine is nausea, nausea, nausea. But it is no different to morning sickness so I can manage. I am better than I expected to be though my mouth has embarrassing sores in the corners that are painful. I've had this before in the taper so can deal with it. Buddy you sound better. I am getting thru this by calling on my new found CBT techniques with a bit of Buddhism thrown in. So glad it is Friday and work is done. Was so scared I would be sick but I've put in two weeks post taper so I am taking this as a good sign. I don't read any bad things anymore, can't see it would do any good just now. I made so many mistakes this week, hope no one notices! Plus I am getting fatter by the second even tho I eat the tiniest meals. Not fair!

[[...]]

Good morning Big! I hope you get a break soon from the nausea!

 

[[Bi...]]

Hi GMIT

 

Aww thanks but it's OK really. So far it hasn't compared to the beginning of my taper. It's just a queasy feeling most of the day, bad in the morning. Am off to walk now I don't know if it's the right thing to do but I try to keep busy. I can't believe I have made it to two weeks. And no one is any the wiser in my job. I have done so very ditzy things this week. They all laugh at me. God they have no idea of the truth (I think LOL).

[[...]]

You sound upbeat! That's great! The exercise will help, in my opinion! I walk each morning and if I don't I don't feel as well!

 

Have a great day!