The jumping buddies group

[[Bi...]]

Hi Buddy

Rant away. I didn't want to go to the doctor but partner made me (my mouth is pretty gross LOL). It was a horrible experience. They just peg me as a loony. They pin everything on anxiety and not benzos so everything you complain about they just interpret with that mindset. The more we say we are not crazy the crazier we sound, so is best to say nothing. Good on you trying to make a difference though. It's only Tuesday and I am longing for the weekend. This is my third week and I know for sure will never go back. This is hard but it's still doable. Off to cook dinner now. Have no appetite but don't lose weight. Not fair. 

[[Bu...]]

Big, That is entirely my experience. I am seen as anxious. The doctors in the practice have discussed my case and they are all treating me in the same manner, so I never get a true second opinion. I don't want to change practices because my actual GP is quite sympathetic and is prepared to believe I am in withdrawal. He just can't get past the practice manager in charge of funding so I can never get referred to hospital, if I feel I need a scan say. The practice manager says anxious each time I see him. He's the one that told me I could take as many bezos as I liked. Another doctor in the practice inferred I was noncompliant when I refused SSRI's at Christmas. I have never been able to take SSRI's. 

 

I would like to see benzo treatment on the map. There is an excellent hospital offering benzo rehabilitation on the Scottish highlands but it is £1,800 a week. (They also offer alcohol and illicit drug rehabilitation.) They take NHS patients. So you can get funding if you are an alcoholic or cocaine user but not benzo. The unfairness.

 

I am going to tell my story at the clinical commissioning group as well. The CCG commission services so I am try and sow a seed.

 

Have a good dinner!

 

Love B.

[[Sa...]]

Good morning...Buddy I'm so sorry to learn about the ectopic pregnancies. Truly that must have been a terrible experience. You are still enjoying your beautiful daughter. I know what you're saying though, it's hard when you don't feel like you're up to it all. These drugs take so much...you're doing great!

 

Big, glad you're back on top of things and stronger than ever. I know that sniggering look from the dr. Wouldn't you like to punch them in the mouth? That's why unless I'm dying I won't go back to the dr. Just one snigger or some stupid comment about " anxiety" is enough to put me over the edge of reason.

 

I'm bouncing back a little from yesterday. I can't believe the kind of pain I experienced as backlash from moving my daughter. Today is my one month jump anniversary. Still in a lot of pain, but mentally getting ready for this long road. Picking myself up and going to work in spite of how I feel. I don't know why but I also refuse to take a day off. It's like I'm saying - you're not going to win!

 

 

 

 

[[Bu...]]

Congratulations on your one month graduation, Saga. Your all welcome at mine next week!

 

Seriously, glad you are feeling better. I am too.

 

Love B.

[[No...]]

One of my mantras ... "you are not going to win" ... I have more Time than you do ... your days are numbered ...

 

I have already won ... I just have to wait a while to collect ...

 

We keep picking ourselves up ... dusting ourselves off ... just like that wondrous child learning to walk for the first time ...

 

[[go...]]

I did it!!

 

I did my last jump last night.... now i just ride the windows and waves and I already feel better.  I'm not sure what the next week will be like but bring it on... I"m ready!!!

[[Bu...]]

Good for you Goonawin. I hope you have a speedy recovery.

 

I am just back from the school party. I was very shaky to start with but felt better after some food. I can't say I feel strong yet but I think things are going in the right direction. Had some nasty twitches while I was trying to rest but no twitches when I was out so I think that is a good thing.

 

Very hot and sticky here.

 

Lots of love,

 

B.

[[Sa...]]

Thanks for the congrats on the month Buddy, I'm glad you're feeling stronger, and that you were able to get past your shakiness earlier. I'll be cheering you on next week!

 

Yes Nova, it's a good mantra to have, and you're right, we've already won!

 

Gonna, great job getting rid of the z! That's the right attitude, I'm sure you'll do well!

[[Bu...]]

Goodnight everyone. Time for my evening TV and marmite snack.

 

Hope you are all happy and doing well in your parts of the world.

 

Love B.

[[No...]]

gonnawin ...  :thumbsup:

[[go...]]

We are winners no matter where we are at in the process. One year, one month, one day or just starting....

[[...]]

Way to go Saga and Gonnawin!!

 

You are both awesome!!

 

[[Sa...]]

Hi dear G, sorry I missed you today, you're pretty awesome yourself 

[[Bu...]]

hello everyone.

 

I think I am HEALING. I really do. I had some restless leg thingie going on in the night and I woke shaking. But I didn't have to eat anything and no major twitches. Just a few small electrical shocks.

 

My daughter has her last day of school. I do hope this means I can enjoy the summer.

 

Hope you are all doing well where ever you are.

 

Love B.

[[Bi...]]

Had a reasonable day today. Could I dare to dream I am getting better? I know it is ridiculously hopeful. But I don't want to anticipate bad. Will live in la la land, Days ago I was thinking I couldn't do this. Hah take that evil drug. Glad to hear you are getting better Buddy. My workmate eats Marmite crackers and it reminds me of you (we Aussies love our vegemite).

I'll be really curious to see how you get on Gonna. Three weeks in and I am feeling stronger, hope you are ok.

Saga hope you are well, I read your blog now and then. Do I remember you said week three showed improvements (ha let me remember that anyway).

Nova you sound good.

Hope everyone else is well. Feel pretty damn positive today. Morning crap is there but meh!

[[No...]]

Big ... dare to dream ... and you are getting better ... we all are ... each and every hour of each and every day ...

 

Some times it is so hard to stay "positive" ... cherish you "positiveness" ... that and Time will see you through ...

 

As each of you know this is a sometimes very hard journey ... the "rollercoaster" nature of it is hard to fathom some days ... and some hours may be very scary ... and we will get through this ...

 

I am 9 months out today after a long taper ... I am celebrated my first birthday a few days ago drug-free for the first time in many years ...

 

Today I am still struggling through a 2 week wave ... had a good few hours last night feeling well ... then broken sleep again and the "flu" has come in over night ...

 

And I am okay ... this is just going to take a while longer ... I mention this to show that being "positive" and letting the hours pass as calmly as we can are the best "resources" I have found to see me through this journey ... I am shaky and a little scared again this morning ... and these feelings will pass as they always do ... yes, I am still sick ... and yes, I am so much better than I was before I started this journey ...

 

Wishing a good day/night for all of us ...

[[Sa...]]

This is so great to wake up to! YES!!! Buddy, Big, and Nova...HEALING is the word...I am generally positive, and while Nova is reminding us just how long the waves keep coming..right now I know healing is happening.. It's nothing concrete I can point to, or explain easily, but I DO feel something is different.

 

Yes, Big, you're right, I had a sea change and the window started week 3 for me and lasted several days. It was beautiful and although I crashed and burned this weekend, I still carry the hope. What else do we have? I simply have to believe!

 

Nova, I love this...I may joke around and make fun of some of these sxs, but I think very much like you...I may not like how long this will take, but honestly, there's not much I can actually DO other than just be...and let this happen..sorry you're still in this wave...

 

[[No...]]

Saga ... yep ... I have never figured out anything to "do" ... and if there was we would all be "doing" it ... we are all so unique ... for one this is helpful ... for another that is helpful ... for me I rather like "being" where I am ... when it is "foxhole" time I get in the foxhole ... when it is jigging time I do a little jig ...

 

[[...]]

Nova, your positive attitude is so awesome!! You are so wonderful!!

 

 

Big, Buddy, Saga, glad you are well!!

 

[[Bu...]]

Hello all,

 

A hot sunny afternoon in the UK. Hope everyone is doing well.

 

Nova you are so right when you say symptoms can be scary.  I hope your wave passes soon and you are very brave as G says. I love talking to people further down the road than me.

 

I was very shaky in the night! I managed to do calm breathing and it helped.

 

And Saga you are right about riding it out. There isn't very much we can do about it, other than just wait it out. I hope another window is coming along for you very soon. Goona I'm wondering how you are getting on and big congrats on the jump..

 

Big. I am sure you are on the way to wellness. I am just like you. I don't want to say too much. But there can only be one way. FORWARDS!

 

Marmite is a big English thing. It's very salty (which seems to calm my poor CNS!) A lot of people don't like it, but I always have. So does my 6 year old. (She probably tasted it in the womb!)

 

I've had a lot of facial pain today and I am very tired but I do think the twitches are a bit better. I think I can cope with things so long as I am not getting electrocuted all the time!

 

Bye for now.

 

B XX

[[go...]]

I"m feeling really tired and burnt out today.  I think off to the pool i go whether i want to or not.

 

Hope all are doing well today.  Patience and courage everyone!

[[Bu...]]

Hello all,

 

Hanging in there today. Anything but symptom free but I think some of it is the heat. I agree Gonna!

 

Love B.

[[Sa...]]

Gonna, sorry you're feeling tired and worn out, the pool sounds lovely today- I agree with Buddy- it's got to be the heat, it's brutal here!  Try to enjoy the pool,  remember, sometimes the day gets better...just saying...love to all 

[[Bu...]]

Brutal is right Saga. It has been very hot here and along came my symptoms back again. I've struggled on with them. Here's to hoping tomorrow is better.

 

How are you.

 

Marmite snack time.

 

Love B X

[[Bi...]]

Hi all

How are you all? Today was another reasonable day. I was remembering how bad it was when I began this journey, before I found this site. It was because I was reading an article warning people about benzos. At the end in the comments loads of people had posted that it was rubbish, that benzos were fine. It made me think of all the people who are still taking benzos and are yet to learn about them. So sad. It also made me so glad that this is no longer our story. However hard it was it was worth it. Will be three weeks tomorrow, what a triumph.