6-12 month thread....

[[je...]]

So great to hear from you HH!! You are always welcome here, and I think I speak for all of us here when I say I love hearing about your progress. Wave or not, you are inspiring me

[[je...]]

Hi Garton,

I couldn't agree with Green more, you are much too hard on yourself. I have such a hard time sleeping if its not my own bed. I hope your having a better day, jenny

[[mr...]]

Hi all,

 

Just checking in after a full day. I've been lurking and posting occasionally here & there, but I do think if you all very often. Mr and I drove 45 minutes southwest of hone and got on a river and canoed for 4 hours. Afterwards, we got home and ate, and then hopped on our bikes for approx 9 miles. Needless to say, I am (happily) tired I am looking forward to the week and all the victories that lie in store Peace, I'm glad to hear that Joel Osteen has been hanging around your abode recently He has been hanging around mine also, and I appreciate listening to him very much.

 

Enjoy the start of a new week, everyone! Take care for now,

 

Mrs.

[[fl...]]

Jenny, we're getting a puppy next month, too.  I'm excited for my kids, but not so much for me.    Mostly, I'm worried about my sleep getting messed up, as it is so delicate in recovery. 

[[Co...]]

Jenny...I mixed up your puppy news with Sky's post...I was off the forum for most of this day and couldn't keep up with the posts....its been a busy day in the group and my ability to retain text is about zip. ....Anyway...I told Sky that my neice has a ladradoodle and it is such a sweet dog...really great with her 2 little girls who are only 2 and 4.

.....enjoy your puppy...coop

[[je...]]

Jenny, we're getting a puppy next month, too.  I'm excited for my kids, but not so much for me.    Mostly, I'm worried about my sleep getting messed up, as it is so delicate in recovery.

 

 

I know Floc, I've worried about that myself but I think the positives out weigh the negative. Enjoy your new puppy

 

 

[[Co...]]

HH, I have to chime in here too. It is encouraging,  hopeful and inspiring to read your posts....wheather you are in a wave...or window...or holding at baseline. You are a light along the way to me too. Every day I hope my healing will follow your pattern.  I am do sorry that you are hitting a wave after such a good stretch. I dread those " I am having a heart attack " panics. I am sure it took you totally off gaurd. There is no limit to the cruelty of the Benzo Beast. ...I hope it is completely gone now.

....HH ...you are such an inspiration to all of us...and we are so pleased that we can be support for you when you hit a bump in the road....coop

[[je...]]

Jenny...I mixed up your puppy news with Sky's post...I was off the forum for most of this day and couldn't keep up with the posts....its been a busy day in the group and my ability to retain text is about zip. ....Anyway...I told Sky that my neice has a ladradoodle and it is such a sweet dog...really great with her 2 little girls who are only 2 and 4.

.....enjoy your puppy...coop

 

 

Thank you Coop! I completely understand the mix up. I do it all the time. Our poor brains

[[li...]]

Hi everyone. Looks like the thread has been active. Been in a wave and just getting do tired of this s$&@! I'm in NYC with family and can't seem to snap out if it. I am still struggling with the "is this Just me?" Symptoms. I am typing from a phone so it's hard to post. I pray that everyone gets windows. I'm just so tired as I look back this crap has put me in waves for two years now. I know in windows my perspective changes so sorry if I sound negative. God bless everyone!

 

Life

[[mr...]]

Hi everyone. Looks like the thread has been active. Been in a wave and just getting do tired of this s$&@! I'm in NYC with family and can't seem to snap out if it. I am still struggling with the "is this Just me?" Symptoms. I am typing from a phone so it's hard to post. I pray that everyone gets windows. I'm just so tired as I look back this crap has put me in waves for two years now. I know in windows my perspective changes so sorry if I sound negative. God bless everyone!

 

Life

 

Buddy, it is NOT you. It is withdrawal.

 

It is "funny" (not "haha" but more like surprising) to me that many in withdrawal, as a general trend, seem to question whether or not what they're still experiencing at 6-12-18 month is "withdrawal" or "them". I haven't read all of the success stories by any means of course, but I've read quite a few. Most of them say that it took them at least past a year to recover fully, most of them within 2-3 years. Yet we, as a generality, still get tempted to question. I am not at that point yet, so it is still clear to me that it is withdrawal for you dears I can definitely see the temptation to believe otherwise though!! Y'all are normal. And you're not doing anything wrong Love this gang so much.

 

Enjoy NYC!!! I've never been there, but looking forward to going at some point in the future Take care buddy,

 

Mrs.

[[Gr...]]

Peace, I don't think this is you at all. Also, I remember when I hit 8 months I thought I should be a lot farther along because let's face it 8 months is a long time. I'm sitting here at almost 12 months and I'm realizing I still have a long way to go. I'm way better than I was at 6 months but I still have healing to do. Try not to do the "what ifs" you are healing, I can hear it in your posts. We are all gonna make it Peace!

 

Mommy-- so sorry to hear about this, I will be praying for you today

 

Nova-- glad to hear from you, your breakfast sounds delightful. I loved your quote, it is definitely my new motto!

 

Sky-- thanks for your kind words

 

Peace-- both my boys have allergies, so we are limited as to what kind of dog we can get-- it can't shed, and my hubby is Mr. Macho and doesn't want a small dog. We are getting a Golden doodle-- half golden retriever half poodle, and they don't shed. I'm not looking forward to the chewing and potty training either..... The breeder says he's extremely laid back and calm, not hyper at all so I think and hope he will be a sweetie. Yes, my boys are over the moon excited!! We get him next Monday

 

Those are the best dogs!  And less to clean since the don't shed

 

 

Thank Green, we are all excited. My huubby says he wants to walk the dog do he can train him the "right" way -- oh geez please! I think it will end up being me

 

You know you are going to be that dog's mother, don't you?  That he's coming to your side of the bed when it's time to go out?  And when it's time to eat. Dogs aren't stupid.  They know who to go to.

And, yes, I think you will heal with this puppy, I really do.

[[Gr...]]

Hi all,

 

Just checking in after a full day. I've been lurking and posting occasionally here & there, but I do think if you all very often. Mr and I drove 45 minutes southwest of hone and got on a river and canoed for 4 hours. Afterwards, we got home and ate, and then hopped on our bikes for approx 9 miles. Needless to say, I am (happily) tired I am looking forward to the week and all the victories that lie in store Peace, I'm glad to hear that Joel Osteen has been hanging around your abode recently He has been hanging around mine also, and I appreciate listening to him very much.

 

Enjoy the start of a new week, everyone! Take care for now,

 

Mrs.

 

Mrs., wonderful, happy, normal "day in the life" post.  Glad to hear about your good day

[[Gr...]]

Jenny, we're getting a puppy next month, too.  I'm excited for my kids, but not so much for me.    Mostly, I'm worried about my sleep getting messed up, as it is so delicate in recovery.

 

I worry a lot about sleep, also, Floc, because I feel so much worse when I don't.  But I think the puppy is going to be a lot of fun, and months in withdrawal are like dog years  so let's hope by next month you're feeling a lot better.

[[Gr...]]

Hi everyone. Looks like the thread has been active. Been in a wave and just getting do tired of this s$&@! I'm in NYC with family and can't seem to snap out if it. I am still struggling with the "is this Just me?" Symptoms. I am typing from a phone so it's hard to post. I pray that everyone gets windows. I'm just so tired as I look back this crap has put me in waves for two years now. I know in windows my perspective changes so sorry if I sound negative. God bless everyone!

 

Life

 

Hang in there, Life. It's almost your one year anniversary.  What kind of s/x are you getting?

[[Gr...]]

Hi

 

Fog and anxiety lifted in the afternoon.  I did a social thing with the girls, and what a difference, just to feel like a regular, relaxed person, to laugh, not anguish over what I just said, not -- well, you all know, normal, nice.  Then by early evening nausea, queasy.  But it's okay, I can handle this when, as Coop says it, the whole band isn't playing.

 

Have a great night, everyone

[[dr...]]

I recently became dad to two cats when I moved in with my gf.  While dogs are way cooler the cats are a great distraction and very calming to me.  They do wake me up every now n them but my sleep is crap anyways. 

[[je...]]

Hi

 

Fog and anxiety lifted in the afternoon.  I did a social thing with the girls, and what a difference, just to feel like a regular, relaxed person, to laugh, not anguish over what I just said, not -- well, you all know, normal, nice.  Then by early evening nausea, queasy.  But it's okay, I can handle this when, as Coop says it, the whole band isn't playing.

 

Have a great night, everyone

 

 

So happy to hear this!! You deserve this!!

[[je...]]

Hi everyone. Looks like the thread has been active. Been in a wave and just getting do tired of this s$&@! I'm in NYC with family and can't seem to snap out if it. I am still struggling with the "is this Just me?" Symptoms. I am typing from a phone so it's hard to post. I pray that everyone gets windows. I'm just so tired as I look back this crap has put me in waves for two years now. I know in windows my perspective changes so sorry if I sound negative. God bless everyone!

 

Life

 

 

So sorry life, none of this is fair. Its so tiring when your as far out as we are. Just remember this is not you, its just the beast whispering in your ear. Keep the faith!

P.s. I think Garton is in NYC too

[[Co...]]

Life...I was thinking of you today. So sorry that you are still wavy. I just read Analog 's. success story.. he is a little past a year out and 90% ...was feeling healed and then had some setbacks....he seems very open to pms ....My heart goes out to you...you have dogged this with courage,  faith and optimism...and continual support and inspiration to the rest of us....It is not you Life....it really is not.

. ..You are going to have an " effortless mind " again.  Life ...just keep it going for a couple more months...you could see major improvement at any time....

  So nice to see you today...I wish you were feeling better...you will be soon.....coop

[[pe...]]

There was a lot here that I needed this weekend. I'm tired and will do a crap job in this post of singling you all out, but here goes.

Jenny and Mrs - I needed to hear these symptoms are not me.

 

Jenny, I needed to hear this with every fiber of my being: "I remember when I hit 8 months I thought I should be a lot farther along because let's face it 8 months is a long time. I'm sitting here at almost 12 months and I'm realizing I still have a long way to go. I'm way better than I was at 6 months but I still have healing to do. Try not to do the "what ifs" you are healing, I can hear it in your posts. We are all gonna make it Peace!"

 

HH and GreenIce - I needed to be checked big time on entertaining another med. I'm so sorry you went through that trial at four months, HH. But glad it only took you three days to realize it was a no go.

 

HH Sounds like your wave is letting up and I'm so glad to hear it. You are doing so well and so much! Give yourself some love and gentleness because you deserve it.

 

Mrs- You also are doing so many wonderful things to take care of your mind and body, canoeing and biking. It sounds like a great way to let off some anxiety, pump in some happy feelings and get good and tired.

 

Life - I'm sorry you're still getting hit by waves this far out. You and Jenny have put in a goodly amount of time and it will be paying off soon.

 

I'm going out on a limb, and despite my cold or maybe because it gave me something else to focus on, I feel I've been in a partial window this weekend. I can't quite explain it. I feel less tension, less like I'm gritting my teeth and hanging on with white knuckles. More like me with a bit of strangeness , like a film around me. My youngest boy is three and this started when he was one. I have put on a good face for him but he's pretty with it. The last couple of days, he's been doing double takes on me. It's like he's checking to see which mom I am, if it will last. He wants to sleep with me and holds my hand in both of his. I feel like he's trying to pull me out, keep me here with him, not let me slide back even though I feel the yuck nipping at my heels.

 

And tomorrow it's back to work, with my totally runny face. It feels somehow terrible in a normal innocuous - I have a cold - way. What a relief.

 

Love you buddies,

Peace2

 

 

[[Gr...]]

There was a lot here that I needed this weekend. I'm tired and will do a crap job in this post of singling you all out, but here goes.

Jenny and Mrs - I needed to hear these symptoms are not me.

 

Jenny, I needed to hear this with every fiber of my being: "I remember when I hit 8 months I thought I should be a lot farther along because let's face it 8 months is a long time. I'm sitting here at almost 12 months and I'm realizing I still have a long way to go. I'm way better than I was at 6 months but I still have healing to do. Try not to do the "what ifs" you are healing, I can hear it in your posts. We are all gonna make it Peace!"

 

HH and GreenIce - I needed to be checked big time on entertaining another med. I'm so sorry you went through that trial at four months, HH. But glad it only took you three days to realize it was a no go.

 

HH Sounds like your wave is letting up and I'm so glad to hear it. You are doing so well and so much! Give yourself some love and gentleness because you deserve it.

 

Mrs- You also are doing so many wonderful things to take care of your mind and body, canoeing and biking. It sounds like a great way to let off some anxiety, pump in some happy feelings and get good and tired.

 

Life - I'm sorry you're still getting hit by waves this far out. You and Jenny have put in a goodly amount of time and it will be paying off soon.

 

I'm going out on a limb, and despite my cold or maybe because it gave me something else to focus on, I feel I've been in a partial window this weekend. I can't quite explain it. I feel less tension, less like I'm gritting my teeth and hanging on with white knuckles. More like me with a bit of strangeness , like a film around me. My youngest boy is three and this started when he was one. I have put on a good face for him but he's pretty with it. The last couple of days, he's been doing double takes on me. It's like he's checking to see which mom I am, if it will last. He wants to sleep with me and holds my hand in both of his. I feel like he's trying to pull me out, keep me here with him, not let me slide back even though I feel the yuck nipping at my heels.

 

And tomorrow it's back to work, with my totally runny face. It feels somehow terrible in a normal innocuous - I have a cold - way. What a relief.

 

Love you buddies,

Peace2

 

Peace, my kids check me out all the time.  Our kids do notice, they're smart, they're very much in tune with what is going on with us.  My first reaction is to be guilty about how withdrawal affects them -- but, really, how much better were we medicated, on benzos, numb.  Every day we're not on this medication is another day we're present and whole for our children, and ourselves.

 

Jenny is right, you are healing, I can hear it.

 

[[pe...]]

Green - Maybe you were trying to sneak into month 11 unnoticed, but congrats! Everyday is one day closer to feeling GOOD! I'm glad you got to celebrate with an outing with the ladies.  You deserve so many happy days. They're coming!

 

Peace2

[[...]]

Green congrats on 11 months!

 

Peace, congrats on 8 months!

 

Look at the accomplishment! You are both amazing and doing such a great job! You should be so proud!!

 

Hope everyone else is well!

 

[[fl...]]

Green, thank you for always encouraging buddies with a personal response.  It means a lot.

 

Peace, so glad you've had a taste of feeling normal.  May it continue.

[[do...]]

Hi all.

 

I am just entering month six off ativan and feel absolutely terrible.  I had a good month four and five and this past week sxs from hell.  Major mouth, esophagus and upper stomach burning.  Facial numbness.  Fear of what is happening.  My last few months I have had lots of windows with short waves of a day or two.  I had hoped the end was in sight. 

 

I do eat clean and exercise moderately.  Have quit both jobs shortly after tapering off ativan as I have tried to destress and get well again. 

 

Any encouragement or advice would be appreciated.

 

.Sincerely,

 

Domestic Advisor

 

Hi DA

 

Yes, I've had the numbness, facial, and the abdomen, for some bizarre reason.  It's gotten better, used to be like after the dentist.  Now it comes and goes with waves.

 

Is the burning like inflammation or the nerve burning people talk about?  Because I stayed on Nexium for gastritis and burning in the esophagus.  I'm certain this is w/d and that it will go away.

 

It's not unusual for s/x to ramp up where you're at.  It's not fun, but it's pretty common.

 

What I do:  Ignore as much as you can, as long as you can.  And come here for support.

 

 

Hi Green:

 

Thanks for the reply.  My burning is like a skin scrape after falling.  But finally it is gone.  Though last night my body was humming and my heart palps were so loud. 

 

Today I am going for routine bloodwork and to my biomagnetic alternative therapist.  He seems to be the only one who helps me.  He says my esophagus is inflamed and to stay away from gluten and red meats.

 

Life sure is interesting.  Will run cross country as a coach with my daughters grade eight class today.  Going to a back to school bbq tonight and will attempt the big crowd.  I am able to do that with more ease each month.

 

Cheers!

 

Domestic Advisor