Valium/Diazepam Support Group

[[et...]]

Maybe if I start a fight with my wife tonight :boxer:I will feel even better!

Sorry guys couldn't resist the temptation

etown

[[or...]]

And I had a fight with my partner last night which probably contributed to my feeling crappy last night and my funk today. Of course it's the season.

 

Better days must be ahead.

 

Okatz

[[...]]

Bart,

 

As per my PM here are my questions since I am doing the most ridiculously slow taper similar to yours  :

 

What were your cuts under 0.1mg and under 0.01mg?  How often did you cut at this stage?  Every day or every few days or so? 

 

Did you hold at these stages and for how long was each hold usually? 

 

What about the 10% rule?  How did that work for you under 0.1mgs?

 

Did you end the taper at 0.001mg? 

 

About the "fumes" – did you dose once a day and then every two days, then every three??  How many days did you leave between doses at the end and how long did you do the "fumes method" for? 

 

You said in previous posts that the last few months of your taper, you had no symptoms to speak of – under what dose did you feel they faded away? 

 

Thanks,

 

gts 

 

Hi to everyone on this thread - I am a lurker and an extremely slow taperer.  I will post more and introduce myself properly (to all the new faces here!) when it's not midnight in the UK!

 

Hi gts

Got your PM. Nice to hear from you.  In answer to your questions, my lowest cut rate was .0025 but by the time I hit .01 I had been doing so many 1-2 week holds that my taper was really more of a cut and hold and had been  so for a few months. Under .01 my typical hold was 2 weeks and the longest I ever held was 17 days. You can get an idea of this from my sig line (sorry I don't have my log book in front of me and I'm doing this from memory). When I went from a .005 to a .0025 cut rate I would typically cut every day at this rate and as soon as I felt any kind of significant symptom I would just hold for a week or two until I was sure I was fine. I also threw in a few 1 week holds when I was asymptomatic. There were also some mini updoses if I ever had more than questionable symptoms. I did not use the 10% rule at these very low doses. I did my last official cut to 0 around Oct 1. The "fumes" were because I used a liquid titration with Ora-Plus and drew up my dose with an oral syringe. There will be a small amount of liquid on the outside of the syringe and I was putting the whole syringe in my mouth and getting a bit from the outside as well. So I just stuck my 1ml oral syringe part way into my solution and licked the outside twice a day for 2-3 weeks, then once a day for 2-3 weeks, then once every other day, etc. When I was at once every 3 days I decided that this method was not very scientific (i.e. dumb) and went to 1 drop per day. My solution by this time was old and I had moved it out of my refrigerator to my bathroom hoping for a little more degradation. Assuming everything was at full strength, one drop of my mix would be around .0007mg, give or take. I had 2 weeks of vacation over the holidays and we were planning a big scuba dive trip a long ways from home. Unfortunately, we had to schedule to a later date, so we decided to just stay home and do some small ski trips as well as "hang out". If I had done the dive trip I would have stayed on the drop per day over the holidays, but decided this would be a good time to stop fuming which I did on Dec 20. I had been taking 1 drop per day for 9 or 10 days. I've posted the mathematical reasons elsewhere for ending a taper gradually, though most people will probably be able to it a lot quicker than I did. Besides the biology of it, I had personal reasons for trying to taper with minimal symptoms. I have a fairly busy job with some times of stress. Also, my wife has a severe case of early onset Parkinson's disease which she acquired in her 40's, like Michael J. Fox, only worse. This means that I also have caretaking and single parenting duties at home with our kids. It was imperative that I remain up to speed during my taper. At any rate, I felt fine at the end of the taper and we spent the holidays skiing and indulging in a few "vices" (etoh, junk food, chocolate, etc). I felt some transient D/R 3-4 times mostly in stores, but that was it. 

 

I think it is best to simply taper however it works best for you and be sure and never force yourself to follow anybody else's schedule. Unfortunately, my healing rate was slow and I also pulled out all the stops to ensure a soft landing. In hindsight I probably could have done the last few months a little faster, but then it seems too slow is preferable to too fast.

 

Hope this helps

 

Bart

[[Co...]]

After a funk this morning I am feeling really gung ho. With help from my BBud I have started to micro taper. I have not been lucky with tapering below 1 mg. It has been one battle. BUT...I am now at .62 mg. It is a bit like skiing. You do not know if the run is too much for you until you do it. It took 2 weeks for my last 5% cut to catch up with me so I am not naive enough to believe that I will not feel this but I have to believe that I am heading toward the finish line. Even if I crawl like a snail I will get there.

 

Feelin' all right in cold country

[[et...]]

CC like a cold storage here in Ontario too -20c with wind chill -35c so cold almost unheard of here where I live.Are you cutting .010mg/day or every other day?

etown

[[Sm...]]

IMO Watch out for activities that make you sweat excessively. I fell asleep in the pool in the sun for about 1/2 an hour and sweat like crazy like being in a sauna and paid for that for about a week. Same thing cutting the grass in very hot conditions.

 

 

I've done hot yoga all through my taper. I'm more sick when I'm not doing it. But I don't recommend others take it up during a taper. I was doing it for a long time before the taper. The only time it becomes problematic - and this is important for all women tapering - is when I do it every single day for an extended period (keeping in mind this is a big cardio workout and anaerobic and goes for 1hour 30mins). When women exercise a lot consistently their oestrogen levels drop and testosterone goes up. Women can bring on early menopause if they are particularly active. So I'd suggest to any woman tapering to try to stay out of the level of exercise - and it is pretty hardcore - that gets you to the zone where your oestrogen levels are getting low. Low oestrogen and benzo w/d are not friends.

[[Sm...]]

After a funk this morning I am feeling really gung ho. With help from my BBud I have started to micro taper. I have not been lucky with tapering below 1 mg. It has been one battle. BUT...I am now at .62 mg. It is a bit like skiing. You do not know if the run is too much for you until you do it. It took 2 weeks for my last 5% cut to catch up with me so I am not naive enough to believe that I will not feel this but I have to believe that I am heading toward the finish line. Even if I crawl like a snail I will get there.

 

Feelin' all right in cold country

 

0.62 is awesome!

40 degrees Celsius here soon fortunately we have air conditioning and easy access to a pool so I won't have to sweat too much e-town That is, except for in the hot yoga room which I may even avoid on the 40 degree day

[[Sm...]]

In all seriousness though E-Town's sage words of advice are pretty spot on

 

I can testify to the dangers after pushing my body's limits post christmas with excessive exercise and dieting. And my supps.. ha.. well.. confusing, confounding..

[[Di...]]

utc,

 

D/c'd klonopin 6/2013. I have been tapering valium for 7 months. Did not sleep well last night. Just in a funk. Nice to get a hello from someone else in Colorado.

 

I'm not in Colorado. I'm in Australia, but I'll send you some positive vibes anyway. Tapering sucks the big one, but we have to be in it for the long haul. Hang in there girl. We're pretty much on the same dose (I'm on 0.65mg). So I'll give you a slow walk race to the finish line.

 

To everyone else having a tough time of it (Smiff, Okatz, Drew and anyone else I've missed), I really wish I had some magical words that would suddenly make all of you feel great. Tapering is such a wicked experience, but we will all get through it. Hang on to the knowledge that things have been better before, and they will get better again.

[[Co...]]

etown,

Leaning on the safe side a bit. Every 2 days. I can't help but think a bit of wiggle room may help. I am not sick but tinnitus is flying high but that is not new. I think I will know how to pace myself in about a week. If this works out to be more lenient in it's impact I will be fine. The one thing I have learned is to be more patient. I had a big day at work yesterday. My workplace is very active . Dictaphones, phones ringing, conversation and conference with a lot of brain science bouncing off every wall. Hearing was a challenge but it always is. After a tough Sunday evening I have reset my mindset. I can do this. I have been edgy at home  . I see the other posts alluding to the same. I am reining it in. It is not my nature to be a crank, but, uh, life has been unpredictable.

I'll be back.

 

CC

[[Co...]]

smiff, diaz pam, and etown again,

 

The cold does not bother me most of the time. When we go below zero I have a hard time breathing. Mix the altitude with w/d and I tend to stay inside. I lit a fire last night and looked around at my home and realized I could not remember what I was doing last January at this time b/c I was SO sick and had a long way to go before I killed the klonopin. I need to do this more to put things into perspective. 

[[Co...]]

pausing and reflecting...

I sit at my computer before leaving for work thinking a lot about this past year. I am lucid and able to do this today. In a good place. I was thinking about a morning at the end of the summer...same time of day. I was in the tub feeling sick as heck. My stomach spaz'd and I thought,'Oh great, I am going to get sick in the tub.' But I did not. I turned my head and got sick on the floor. Those were bad days. At about the same time I also remember posting about putting on my jeans and getting my foot stuck and falling over. Too sick to get dressed. I have really fallen out of the loop with my friends. I kept in touch with people all over the country and the world through Facebook. I have been off for a long time. I went on last weekend and had a pile of messages. 'Where are you?' I realized how long I have been in survival mode. Happy to just get my socks on or to remember to make my house payment. Literally. This whole experience changes you dramatically. All of you know this. I lost my neighbor this past June. She was a brilliant scientist who was also my friend. I went to her memorial service in August and do not really remember much of it. In Dec. of 2012 they took me to my only ER trip b/c the clonodine I was prescribed for w/d had tanked my BP to 50/40 and I was put on IV Atropine. A lot of memories of bad times really makes me understand how far I have come. Like others who pop back on BB a year after jumping I realize that someday it will be me. I understand that this kind of thinking gets me through the worst of this. My head is clear today and I am remembering things that were really hard. I shoved the thoughts underground so I could keep going. I need to keep remembering where I was 14 months ago vs. where I am now. Even when I feel bad.

Wishing all of you a good day. Hang in there.

[[et...]]

CC can you post this over on the working thread. I think we all need to hear this today. You have come a long way. Good to hear you are tapering every other day right now. Technically that means you are at .005mg/day and I believe that this was a really smart decision on your part. When you consider all things I also believe that it will not change your landing date at all.

I love fires too. Next house will have an insert. I have always had one but this present house decided not to. Big mistake! I can get lost staring at a fire.

etown

[[ly...]]

Just stopping by so I can find this thread later. So much info that is so worth while. 

[[et...]]

Hey lynn stick around lots of good help here!

etown

[[...]]

After a funk this morning I am feeling really gung ho. With help from my BBud I have started to micro taper. I have not been lucky with tapering below 1 mg. It has been one battle. BUT...I am now at .62 mg. It is a bit like skiing. You do not know if the run is too much for you until you do it. It took 2 weeks for my last 5% cut to catch up with me so I am not naive enough to believe that I will not feel this but I have to believe that I am heading toward the finish line. Even if I crawl like a snail I will get there.

 

Feelin' all right in cold country

 

CC you and I are at about the same level and I feel I will have to slow down yet again.  I fear I will end up fading out like Bart as I get closer to the end even though I wish I was done with this already!

 

We can be a pair of snails together 

[[...]]

Or maybe ....

Colorado Chick at .62, Diaz-Pam at .65, Eliz at .64 (and still holding) can be a trio of snails  :laugh:

 

As long as we don't try to race each other to the finish line I think we will be OK.

[[Ca...]]

Hi Everyone,

    I've been quiet...lurking and reading the good support here. I'm with you on the slow V taper. Today marks 7 months off Xanax!! I am at a dose of .98 mg V per day. I learned the hard way and you encouraged me to SLOW down with the taper. After a long hold I am now cutting .005 mg per day. Hoping for smoother ride after a hair raising detour.

  Thanks for your words of wisdom....lets walk slowly together!

Warmly,

Carita

[[...]]

I hope this post does not bum anyone out, but I thought it might help those feeling crummy right now and offer a bit of perspective;

 

A month ago, one of my close work buddies had to take his wife who is in her early 30s, to the emergency room where she tested positive for having a heart attack.  They discovered a defective heart valve and put in a stint.  After two days she was recovering so rapidly they decided to release her.  That same day, she had a blood vessel burst in her brain that caused her to slip into a coma.  The doctors had to drill two holes in her head to allow the blood to escape because the pressure on her brain was so great.  She remained in a coma until just a few days ago.  She is improving very slowly, but will spend probably the next six months in various types of therapy to learn how to function again as she did suffer brain injury that has affected her memory, speech, and motor function. 

 

It is this type of tragedy that reminds me that even though what I am going through with this benzo tapering mess is pretty miserable at times, it could be so much worse.  This man has had his entire world yanked out from under him and he is the most positive person I have ever witnessed as he goes through this.

 

I will take inspiration from him and try to remind myself of the positive and the good things in life and how fortunate I actually am in so many ways.  This will one day soon be over for me and when it is, I truly believe I will come out on the other side a better person than the one I was going in.

 

May we all stay strong and positive during this journey to zero

[[et...]]

Sad story Eliz but uplifting in ways too. I know I'm already a better person because of this mess and so are you.

 

Carita - way to go and thanks for taking a lurking break to let us know how you are doing.

etown

[[mr...]]

Eliz,

Ouch, that is sooooo sad, early 30s.

Yes, I think it is time we appreciate our improvements and not focus on what hasn't,yet.

At least, we know that we will all heal and get our lives back.

 

 

[[hu...]]

Eliz,

 

I get it. A few nights ago I slept to WWII history documentaries on Youtube. The unbelievable suffering that was randomly visited on tens of millions of innocent people. It boggles the mind. It quelled my anxiety a bit to keep thinking to myself, "It could be so much worse!"

 

... and our suffering will pass! We are all going to heal from this! Benzo w/d is not a permanent condition!

 

As hard as it is to see the forest for the trees during benzo w/d ... it truly is all relative and in a sense we can consider ourselves fortunate.

 

 

[[...]]

Eliz,

 

I get it. A few nights ago I slept to WWII history documentaries on Youtube. The unbelievable suffering that was randomly visited on tens of millions of innocent people. It boggles the mind. It quelled my anxiety a bit to keep thinking to myself, "It could be so much worse!"

 

... and our suffering will pass! We are all going to heal from this! Benzo w/d is not a permanent condition!

 

As hard as it is to see the forest for the trees during benzo w/d ... it truly is all relative and in a sense we can consider ourselves fortunate.

 

You said it Human!

[[Di...]]

Or maybe ....

Colorado Chick at .62, Diaz-Pam at .65, Eliz at .64 (and still holding) can be a trio of snails  :laugh:

 

As long as we don't try to race each other to the finish line I think we will be OK.

 

We just need to two more chicks and we can be the "Spice Girls".

 

Yo, I'll tell ya what I want, what I really, really want.... to be benzo freeeeeee..... ZIGAZIG AH!!!

 

[[Di...]]

Hi Everyone,

    I've been quiet...lurking and reading the good support here. I'm with you on the slow V taper. Today marks 7 months off Xanax!! I am at a dose of .98 mg V per day. I learned the hard way and you encouraged me to SLOW down with the taper. After a long hold I am now cutting .005 mg per day. Hoping for smoother ride after a hair raising detour.

  Thanks for your words of wisdom....lets walk slowly together!

Warmly,

Carita

 

Well done !!  Good to hear you've smashed the 1mg barrier.