Valium/Diazepam Support Group

[[Ks...]]

That article explained a lot of what I experienced, thanks for sharing. I actually existed on, well, a probably unhealthy diet of 90% carbs and experienced none of the problems I have now...maybe I was somehow self medicating...?

[[Sm...]]

mm I think my high protein diets may have been related to some of my cortisol/sleeping problems too.

However I don't think high carb diets are healthy either. Bouncing insulin - i.e simple and sometimes complex carbs - causes as much, if not more, anxiety in my view.

 

So back to my motto for today: everything in moderation 

[[jj...]]

Hello everyone, just thought I'd check in and let you all know how things are going w/ the beginning of my c/o. I started on Saturday w/ the liquid compounded k, .2mg at 7am, 2pm and 10pm.

 

Taking the liquid form is definitely a different experience, I've been experiencing a paradoxical effect at first w/ an uptick in anxiety, muscle tension especially in the neck, increased parathesia, dizziness and cog fog. It seems to settle down after an hour or so and then I get drowsy. I feel okay for a few hours, then the w/d sx start to slowly escalate with mostly creeping anxiety and parathesia. I've added 1mg v w/ the pm dose to get a head start and start switching doses starting next week, 2mg at a time over the next 6 weeks.

 

Hoping that these things will smooth out a bit as my body adjusts to the different form of k, but who knows, might get worse, stay the same. It's all a crap shot, isn't it? I was thinking about maybe taking some fiber to slow down the absorption rate of the k, but at the same time I don't want it to interfere w/ getting the whole dose. 

[[hu...]]

Guys,

 

Thank you for your responses on my question about the impact of catching a cold on s/x! It does seem reasonable and maybe even obvious that any stress on the body would exacerbate s/x.

 

The 2nd week after every K cut was the hardest. Since I got the cold right at the end of the 1st week after the last K cut, it seems like the cold was probably not the main factor in the massive anxiety I had that week, but it may very well have been a contributing factor.

 

I'm so frustrated with my inability to stabilize that I would latch on to just about any explanation right now ... anything to convince myself this is going to get easier. So, the input you all offered did help ... though that's not to say it doesn't make perfect sense! ... if that makes any sense. 

 

I'm crossing my fingers that I continue my current "stabilizing" trend and that I can join you all in tapering V some time in the next few weeks!

 

Thx, Human

 

PS I don't know how I would be getting through this all without you guys!

 

 

[[et...]]

Human - maybe give it a full 4 weeks and take a look then.

You're down there and that is soooooo good!

You are going to do this.......promise!

etown

[[hu...]]

Human - maybe give it a full 4 weeks and take a look then.

You're down there and that is soooooo good!

You are going to do this.......promise!

etown

 

E,

 

Thanks! If a 10 is the worst night of terror/anxiety, then the last three nights have been successively a 6, then 5, then 3.5. I'm charting it on my calendar to make sure I'm getting better. By the way, I have never felt terror/anxiety except during SSRI w/d and now during benzo w/d ... so at least I can comfort myself with the knowledge that this is due to brain chemistry that hasn't settled down.

 

My recent healing trend is the good news. The bad news is I'm a 43 year old man holding a fleece jacket up to his face while I sleep (for comfort) like a kid holding a teddy bear!

 

Don't know how much meaning this will hold for you all, but that just made me think of John Lennon singing "Whatever gets you through the night, it's alright, it's alright."

 

Yesterday was the end of my third week ... so I'll end up holding for at least four and probably a bit more. This is a war and I'm not backing down.

 

Best, Human

[[et...]]

Human - good on ya buddy. That downward trend in symptoms generally means you will stabilize. Can you imagine what we do do with no fleece jacket? Once you're done you can come back and coach me through the last 2mg. Good call to hold until you are absolutely ready to descend. No reason to foul things up now.

etown

[[hu...]]

Hello everyone, just thought I'd check in and let you all know how things are going w/ the beginning of my c/o. I started on Saturday w/ the liquid compounded k, 2mg at 7am, 2pm and 10pm.

 

Taking the liquid form is definitely a different experience, I've been experiencing a paradoxical effect at first w/ an uptick in anxiety, muscle tension especially in the neck, increased parathesia, dizziness and cog fog. It seems to settle down after an hour or so and then I get drowsy. I feel okay for a few hours, then the w/d sx start to slowly escalate with mostly creeping anxiety and parathesia. I've added 1mg v w/ the pm dose to get a head start and start switching doses starting next week, 2mg at a time over the next 6 weeks.

 

Hoping that these things will smooth out a bit as my body adjusts to the different form of k, but who knows, might get worse, stay the same. It's all a crap shot, isn't it? I was thinking about maybe taking some fiber to slow down the absorption rate of the k, but at the same time I don't want it to interfere w/ getting the whole dose.

 

JJ,

 

Thanks for giving us the update on the c/o. You're on your way!

 

Very interesting about the compounded liquid affecting you differently ... there are others who know a lot more about this stuff than I do, but I don't think it's uncommon to feel like the liquid affects you differently than a tablet.

 

Keep us posted.

 

Best, Human

 

PS Love your dog. I think I'll put a pic up of my little girl. She is the saving grace of my existence right now.

[[Co...]]

Hey everyone... I am not having a great day today. I am not sick but am overwhelmed with depression. I do not ever remember feeling this bad. I am feeling so profoundly blue. I can't get out of my own way. I have not been like this before. I was sitting here calculating how long it will be until I am benzo free. This  should make me happy but it seems to be going in reverse.It is very cold here right now. It was a grey day There is a lot off snow  and I have been inside almost all day. It seems like I am picking up new sx the lower I go. I hope this passes. Hoping for a better day tomorrow. :'(

[[un...]]

CO Chick--

 

If I understand your sig, it looks like you're going through a transition now to Val. Making changes to my taper plan always revs up my sx. This will settle down in a few days. Hang on. I know it seems hopeless while you're being hit with depression, but it does go away. Everything that arises, falls away again.

 

I hear ya about the CO weather. Man, it's cold outside . . .  -utc

 

 

[[jj...]]

Human, your c/o experience, as hard as it has sounded, is giving me hope that I will stabilize once I'm through. BTW, I had frequent panic attacks in my early 20's and I can tell you they are nothing like the glutamate storms of w/d. It's like the difference between a storm on Earth compared to a storm on Jupiter. The non w/d type usually subsides within a half hour or so and you can learn to "ride them out", no problem. When I first got hit hard w/ w/d sx a month ago I would have panic attacks that would last for literally hours. I kept thinking "why aren't these responding to my normal bag of calming tricks?" and then I'd go through my normal laundry list of benzo fueled fears like BRAIN CANCER! MS! PARKINSON'S! At least now I know that it's "only" benzo w/d and in time I will heal.

 

My dog is my total inspiration. Two years ago he was diagnosed w/ an inoperable nerve sheath tumor and we were told that he would be dead in two months. My wife (who also found this website and the Ashton Manual) after tireless research found a little known radiation therapy that saved his life. He's completely healthy now. So... if he can get through that, I can get through this!

 

Keep hanging in there human, I'm looking forward to reading your success story before too long!

[[hu...]]

cc,

 

By interesting synchronicity I was on the phone just now with a family member in Denver and I went on to weather.gov to check the Denver weather for her. Looks like the extreme cold snap ends tonight (!) and then a warming trend. It even says "Partly cloudy. Highs in the mid 40s to lower 50s" on Tuesday ... that ain't bad for Colorado in December.

 

I know how horrible depression can be. It's stolen many years of my life. Over the years I feel that I have learned how to manage the kind of depression that is non-drug related. Little tricks of staying in motion, focusing on one little thing at a time, etc.

 

Drug-related depression (e.g. due to benzo w/d) feels like a different animal to me. I don't feel I can do much but let the wave pass on and at least know that it will pass. Perhaps in a few hours, perhaps in a few days.

 

When I first came on bb and posted my introduction and I felt SO confused, overwhelmed, etc. Just totally lost and scared. Two people responded on that intro: juliea and YOU! You were the one who pointed me to this thread and helped give me the confidence to do the crossover! I'm not likely to ever forget that and I never did get a chance to thank you!

 

We're in the fight of our lives here. But with caring members like you, I feel like we're all in it together!

 

Best, Human

[[hu...]]

JJ,

 

It's funny that you said my c/o experience is giving you hope, because I was actually concerned it was going to scare you!  I would bet money your c/o will be easier than mine! I believe I had several complicating factors, including crossing over at such a low dose.

 

How truly beautiful about your dog. It's been said before, but don't they just embody all of the characteristics that we humans should aspire to? You know, unconditional love, being in the present moment, etc. Okay, I'll stop before I make the non-dog lovers sick! 

 

Best, Human

[[Di...]]

Hi all,

 

Hope everyone is feeling well.

 

After losing 20lbs. in tolerance w/d and detox, I now have regained to the point of not fitting into my clothes and buying a new wardrobe is definitely not do-able. I need to lose a good 5-10 lbs.

 

I'm just wondering what everyone's take is on trying to lose weight while tapering? I am otherwise asymptomatic at this point.

 

TIA,

 

Workin

 

Unfortunately, losing weight will never be a straight forward thing, especially for women, and more especially if you are menopausal like me.

 

It is never as simple as calories in/calories out, or high fat/low fat, or high carb/low carb, or even high protein/low protein. Hormones (especially estradiol and progesterone) tend to trump the lot. This I know from a lot of experience. I have probably gained about 10kgs over the last couple of years, and no matter what I do, or how much I exercise, it stays puts.

[[jj...]]

JJ,

 

It's funny that you said my c/o experience is giving you hope, because I was actually concerned it was going to scare you!  I would bet money your c/o will be easier than mine! I believe I had several complicating factors, including crossing over at such a low dose.

 

How truly beautiful about your dog. It's been said before, but don't they just embody all of the characteristics that we humans should aspire to? You know, unconditional love, being in the present moment, etc. Okay, I'll stop before I make the non-dog lovers sick! 

 

Best, Human

 

human, you are alive and you are stabilizing. I'd say that's a pretty good outcome. 

[[Wo...]]

Hi all,

 

Hope everyone is feeling well.

 

After losing 20lbs. in tolerance w/d and detox, I now have regained to the point of not fitting into my clothes and buying a new wardrobe is definitely not do-able. I need to lose a good 5-10 lbs.

 

I'm just wondering what everyone's take is on trying to lose weight while tapering? I am otherwise asymptomatic at this point.

 

TIA,

 

Workin

 

Unfortunately, losing weight will never be a straight forward thing, especially for women, and more especially if you are menopausal like me.

 

It is never as simple as calories in/calories out, or high fat/low fat, or high carb/low carb, or even high protein/low protein. Hormones (especially estradiol and progesterone) tend to trump the lot. This I know from a lot of experience. I have probably gained about 10kgs over the last couple of years, and no matter what I do, or how much I exercise, it stays puts.

 

I was actually a model for over 20 years, so I have a ton (LOL) of experience with weight management. I'm pretty knowledgeable about what works but I'm a little worried about doing it during this taper. I guess I'll just have to be sensible, cut the sweets and exercise more. I've really been a naughty girl over the holidays. Maybe I'm just looking for an excuse to be lazy about it...

[[Ji...]]

I have just recently got of the line with a nurse thinking my BP was low and got scared. I was told my symptoms are not typical of low bp but some symptoms were there. She eventually asked if im prone to anxiety attacks and as she said that I thought omg I just had a bad attack on the verge of 911. Luckily she calmed me down and now im feeling much better. I wish I never got on diazepam its a horrid addiction but it helped with my anxiety in the beginning but its not worth the w/d. Im currently on 2.5mg on diazepam have been for a long time cant seem to go any lower without extremely bad symptoms as I just had some bad symptoms earlier. What im asking is there any thing you guys/gals can recommend to help anxiety.

[[...]]

Hi all,

 

Hope everyone is feeling well.

 

After losing 20lbs. in tolerance w/d and detox, I now have regained to the point of not fitting into my clothes and buying a new wardrobe is definitely not do-able. I need to lose a good 5-10 lbs.

 

I'm just wondering what everyone's take is on trying to lose weight while tapering? I am otherwise asymptomatic at this point.

 

TIA,

 

Workin

 

Unfortunately, losing weight will never be a straight forward thing, especially for women, and more especially if you are menopausal like me.

 

It is never as simple as calories in/calories out, or high fat/low fat, or high carb/low carb, or even high protein/low protein. Hormones (especially estradiol and progesterone) tend to trump the lot. This I know from a lot of experience. I have probably gained about 10kgs over the last couple of years, and no matter what I do, or how much I exercise, it stays puts.

 

I was actually a model for over 20 years, so I have a ton (LOL) of experience with weight management. I'm pretty knowledgeable about what works but I'm a little worried about doing it during this taper. I guess I'll just have to be sensible, cut the sweets and exercise more. I've really been a naughty girl over the holidays. Maybe I'm just looking for an excuse to be lazy about it...

 

Hey workin

Just saw your post. I was naughty over the holidays too, and now have to drop some lard. I lost a lot of weight early in my benzo taper also. When I started feeling better, working out, etc. I  gained weight slowly as I put lean mass back on. The new weight went disproportionately on my trunk rather than a more equal distribution with my extremities. This meant to me my cortisol levels were still elevated although I never had them checked. I hit the usual otc cortisol blockers and still take them. When I was in deep doo doo with benzos, I just tried to eat sensibly and made sure never to climb on a scales. First things first. My wife was a model too, in her younger years and managed her weight with the barf method as a lot of them do. I assume you don't have any issues with bulimia or other eating disorders as the electrolyte imbalances could really screw up a benzo taper. Sounds like you're doing fine. Take care. I've needed to lose at least 5-10 pounds most of my life.

Bart

[[Sm...]]

 

We're in the fight of our lives here. But with caring members like you, I feel like we're all in it together!

 

Best, Human

 

Snap

[[Sm...]]

I have just recently got of the line with a nurse thinking my BP was low and got scared. I was told my symptoms are not typical of low bp but some symptoms were there. She eventually asked if im prone to anxiety attacks and as she said that I thought omg I just had a bad attack on the verge of 911. Luckily she calmed me down and now im feeling much better. I wish I never got on diazepam its a horrid addiction but it helped with my anxiety in the beginning but its not worth the w/d. Im currently on 2.5mg on diazepam have been for a long time cant seem to go any lower without extremely bad symptoms as I just had some bad symptoms earlier. What im asking is there any thing you guys/gals can recommend to help anxiety.

 

Hey Jinx

 

Anxiety.. its just fab aint it.

These recommendations are going to sound like something too obvious or like something you've heard a billion times before (that is mostly cause they do work to at least some extent but most do take effort unlike the pill we all hoped would help us with something)

- Exercise: might need to start slow but there is no doubt it is a powerful anti depressant and anxiolytic

- Meditation: can get apps for guided meditation if you have a smart phone and/or look up on youtube and try one daily. Mindfulness is the current fad in mediation and not very hippy dippy.

- Yoga: just cause. trust me

- Supplements: Vitamin C; Fish oil; Magnesium reportedly but I only find it relaxing when it is balanced with Calcium; Vitamin B6 and B12 though some people find B vitamins rev them up; things like Seriphos are relaxing too because they reduce cortisol but you need to have breaks when using it and it is one of the supplements that can turn on you in which case you pull the plug immediately

- Dropping caffeine can help. Reducing sugar can reduce sugar roller coasters.

 

They are my fave-fear-fighting-friends. There is a whole section on the forum on anxiety. Trawl through that and you'll find all sorts of things that help all sorts of people

 

Peace

Smiff

[[Wo...]]

Hi all,

 

Hope everyone is feeling well.

 

After losing 20lbs. in tolerance w/d and detox, I now have regained to the point of not fitting into my clothes and buying a new wardrobe is definitely not do-able. I need to lose a good 5-10 lbs.

 

I'm just wondering what everyone's take is on trying to lose weight while tapering? I am otherwise asymptomatic at this point.

 

TIA,

 

Workin

 

Unfortunately, losing weight will never be a straight forward thing, especially for women, and more especially if you are menopausal like me.

 

It is never as simple as calories in/calories out, or high fat/low fat, or high carb/low carb, or even high protein/low protein. Hormones (especially estradiol and progesterone) tend to trump the lot. This I know from a lot of experience. I have probably gained about 10kgs over the last couple of years, and no matter what I do, or how much I exercise, it stays puts.

 

I was actually a model for over 20 years, so I have a ton (LOL) of experience with weight management. I'm pretty knowledgeable about what works but I'm a little worried about doing it during this taper. I guess I'll just have to be sensible, cut the sweets and exercise more. I've really been a naughty girl over the holidays. Maybe I'm just looking for an excuse to be lazy about it...

 

Hey workin

Just saw your post. I was naughty over the holidays too, and now have to drop some lard. I lost a lot of weight early in my benzo taper also. When I started feeling better, working out, etc. I  gained weight slowly as I put lean mass back on. The new weight went disproportionately on my trunk rather than a more equal distribution with my extremities. This meant to me my cortisol levels were still elevated although I never had them checked. I hit the usual otc cortisol blockers and still take them. When I was in deep doo doo with benzos, I just tried to eat sensibly and made sure never to climb on a scales. First things first. My wife was a model too, in her younger years and managed her weight with the barf method as a lot of them do. I assume you don't have any issues with bulimia or other eating disorders as the electrolyte imbalances could really screw up a benzo taper. Sounds like you're doing fine. Take care. I've needed to lose at least 5-10 pounds most of my life.

Bart

 

Yup, it came back on in very different places than before for me too. No barfing, but I did struggle with that in my younger days too. Now it's all about health. Even had my horribly calcified breast implants removed a couple of years ago and did not replace them. It's time for acceptance of my natural self in it's natural state. I wonder if your wife and I ever crossed paths - what a small world it can be.

[[...]]

You could have crossed paths. She still has her implants but wants them out. The eating disorder finally fizzled out can crop back up sometimes.

[[Co...]]

utc,

 

D/c'd klonopin 6/2013. I have been tapering valium for 7 months. Did not sleep well last night. Just in a funk. Nice to get a hello from someone else in Colorado.

[[Sm...]]

CC: We've all been there. I'm still in too much of a funk to watch the sad ending of Dr who.. ha

 

oh dear.. everything is magnified, or dulled, through the benzo lens. I can't wait to see life with my own eyes again.

 

Anywho...

 

JinxIndia: I just read your introduction. You've only been using valium for 1 month? Were you using the 10mg per day for that whole month? How long has it taken you to taper to 2.5mgs?

 

Also.. after reading titles of all the many many daily introductions I'd just like to say: I really really freakin hate these drugs.

[[...]]

Thanks for the advice everyone, trying to get as much information as possible before starting this journey, dont think I would be this worried but at least I can be advised as best as possible and try to take that first step, I havent got a lot of willpower but I am going to have to step up to take this on