Driving in the Left Lane- pianogirl's Story of Healing and Hope for all of You!

[[pi...]]

Hi pianogirl. Left with nerve pain. All other symptoms have gone to the wayside or are very minor-annoying or not bothersome. I feel my nerves creeping around inside my body. Have burning pain/chills/ pain/head pressure/inner vibrations. All from my nerves. I feel that since all else peeled away, this nerve stuff is more intense and prominent. It hits me at night, every other night. Lasts until the next morning, afternoon or evening. I know it is not getting worse as I haven't

taken kalonapin in a little over 11 months. Just wondering why it is not fading and why it is acting up more? Is that part of the healing process? Did yours get worse before it got better and then went away? You told me in the past that your inner vibrations left at the 12 month mark and that your nerve and muscle pain left at 14 months after you had a bad bout of both. I am almost 100% on my good days. I know that my healing will not mirror yours, but just wanted to know if this healing pattern is on the right pathway? Thanks.

 

Hi Jazzy,

 

Yes, I did have a severe bout with both vibrations and pain before they finally went away permanently.  The worst was the muscle constriction at about 14 months. It felt like my insides were being squeezed.  I don't know why we tend to have such an intense return of symptoms like this.  I would say that if you are 100% on your good days that you are well on your way to total healing.  Like your other symptoms, they will become less bothersome and easier to ignore.  Since these meds have such a strong impact on the nervous system, it makes sense that the nerves will keep firing until each part of that complex mechanism is back to normal. I actually think you are doing really well for being just under one year off.  Many people haven't had 100% days at that time period.  Enjoy those times and roll with the nerve stuff, you sure are on the right path to recovery.

 

 

PG 

[[Ja...]]

Thank you 

[[Ho...]]

Hi Pianogirl,

 

I have just spent the last hour reading your story and the entire thread of comments. I desperately need  some encouragement. I am just over 6 months off a 3 month taper from 1.25 mg Klonopin.

 

I cannot drive yet, I am down much with about 30 symptoms and have been this way since Feb.

I have been forced to go back to work a bit at our catering company due to some difficult situations but it is extremely difficult, i don't know how I am doing it but by Gods grace.

 

I have severe depression, D/R, head and body pressure, a boaty rock feeling 24/7, ears plugged and ringing, sore dry glassy eyes, anxiety, tingling, numbness, complete disorientation and confusion, I could go on and on. I have not had a window at all, only a few hours where my head seemed it wanted to clear but didn't really. I feel I am one of the worst I have read about.

 

I am wondering if you have had the D/R and deep depression? It is disabilitating. Also, I hear very few mention the boaty feeling, I also feel as if I am being pulled up and pushed forward by a strong force, this all started at 3 months aff and has not abated for one second.

 

I so appreciate you and others sticking around to support us, Thankyou so so much.

[[pi...]]

Hi Pianogirl,

 

I have just spent the last hour reading your story and the entire thread of comments. I desperately need  some encouragement. I am just over 6 months off a 3 month taper from 1.25 mg Klonopin.

 

I cannot drive yet, I am down much with about 30 symptoms and have been this way since Feb.

I have been forced to go back to work a bit at our catering company due to some difficult situations but it is extremely difficult, i don't know how I am doing it but by Gods grace.

 

I have severe depression, D/R, head and body pressure, a boaty rock feeling 24/7, ears plugged and ringing, sore dry glassy eyes, anxiety, tingling, numbness, complete disorientation and confusion, I could go on and on. I have not had a window at all, only a few hours where my head seemed it wanted to clear but didn't really. I feel I am one of the worst I have read about.

 

I am wondering if you have had the D/R and deep depression? It is disabilitating. Also, I hear very few mention the boaty feeling, I also feel as if I am being pulled up and pushed forward by a strong force, this all started at 3 months aff and has not abated for one second.

 

I so appreciate you and others sticking around to support us, Thankyou so so much.

 

Hello Hopeful-One,

 

You are still pretty early off a fairly rapid taper. Your body is still reacting to the lack of benzo in the system and the receptors have not regulated enough for you to feel relief.  I admire you for getting back to work, at least a little bit. Sometimes, those types of distractions are good.

 

I know many people that have had the boaty feeling, so you are not alone in this.  Mine started pretty suddenly at 4 months off. I can even pinpoint the exact time since we were out to breakfast with my daughter and her husband.  It started then and I had this symptom for several months.  There were times I had to hold onto the counter when I was at the check out stand at the grocery store.

 

I had DR early off and depression early off. I remember crying into my computer while writing to buddies here on the forum. Thankfully that didn't last too long. For me, getting outside and being more active really helped. I got a new bicycle and just being out in nature and in the fresh air was so healing for me. 

 

Even though time is the real healer, I still tried things to help with my sxs.  I did balance exercises for the boaty feeling.  I practiced deep belly breathing and mindful meditation to help with the morning surges of adrenalin. I also didn't have a complete window at 6 months so don't worry, your situation is not that different than many of us. 

 

Hang in there,  while you might not have a sudden window of wellness, you will find your symptoms easing up as time goes along. Have confidence in your body, it wants to heal. Let it have the time it needs to complete this recovery. 

 

I'm sending hugs your way.

 

PG  :smitten:

 

 

[[Wa...]]

PianoGirl, I am sure you have went through this many times, for 3 years I've been stuck on Xanax 2mg distributed throughout the day, .5mg 4x/day I just started trying to cut a .25 out of one of my doses this is only day 2 so I don't know how Its really affecting me yet. Ive tried cold turkey 3 times longest I made it was 6 days when at 1 point I tapered to .5mg 2x/daily (I do not remember how I did that). but since the relapse I have been at 2mg. I relapsed because I had thought I was dying slowly and tried many times to say this is a lie, but the brain is a tough thing to fight against. I've seen on here since I signed up many people switched to diazepam (valium) before tapering. should I do this first or should I continue with the decrease I am doing now? I haven't actually met anyone on here yet, this is the first time in 3 years ive tried joining a forum. I just want off these things I am only 23 I had a severe incident when I was 20 and a doctor gave me Ativan and it just escalated from then (September 9th 2010) here we are October 9th 2013 I am getting no where. I haven't been able to hold a job since, none of this makes sense to me to be honest but ive finally seen so many success stories that balance the horror ones and am probably more motivated then I ever was. But still extremely scared of the withdrawals  This is where I will end for now. anybody feel free to respond to me I can use all the help I can get from people who understand.

[[pi...]]

PianoGirl, I am sure you have went through this many times, for 3 years I've been stuck on Xanax 2mg distributed throughout the day, .5mg 4x/day I just started trying to cut a .25 out of one of my doses this is only day 2 so I don't know how Its really affecting me yet. Ive tried cold turkey 3 times longest I made it was 6 days when at 1 point I tapered to .5mg 2x/daily (I do not remember how I did that). but since the relapse I have been at 2mg. I relapsed because I had thought I was dying slowly and tried many times to say this is a lie, but the brain is a tough thing to fight against. I've seen on here since I signed up many people switched to diazepam (valium) before tapering. should I do this first or should I continue with the decrease I am doing now? I haven't actually met anyone on here yet, this is the first time in 3 years ive tried joining a forum. I just want off these things I am only 23 I had a severe incident when I was 20 and a doctor gave me Ativan and it just escalated from then (September 9th 2010) here we are October 9th 2013 I am getting no where. I haven't been able to hold a job since, none of this makes sense to me to be honest but ive finally seen so many success stories that balance the horror ones and am probably more motivated then I ever was. But still extremely scared of the withdrawals  This is where I will end for now. anybody feel free to respond to me I can use all the help I can get from people who understand.

 

Hello WantANewLife27,

 

Welcome to the forum from me!! This is actually the first and only forum I have ever joined but it was a lifeline for me when I was in the throes of withdrawal.

 

I read your introduction and it seems you are on the extended release formula of Xanax. From what I understand, these pills or capsules really can not be divided so perhaps you need to talk to your doctor about getting on the regular formula before you start to make an significant changes.

 

To be honest, I think you will be successful with smaller cuts.  You dropped more than 10% so you might consider following the 5-10% guideline.  Yes, I did cross to valium. I tried several times to reduce the clonazepam (klonopin) on my own and found it too difficult and the symptoms much to strong to tolerate.  Valium worked better for me although it was much more sedating, especially at the start.

 

You are very young and while things are a little tough now, once you withdraw successfully and heal, you will have a whole life ahead of you to pursue your dreams and ambitions.

 

I was motivated and scared as well, but once I started learning about these drugs, I knew my future health would be so much better if I was not taking them.  I lived on success stories when it was rough going. Those of us who have healed are leaving big footprints for others to follow.

 

pianogirl 

[[Wa...]]

Thank you for still being here on this site, I have virtually nobody in person to help me, they all don't understand it at all so I have nobody to help me nor help me calm down or lead me into the right direction although I know it can be done I got from 2mgs a day to 1mg a day about a year ago but I don't remember how. I guess it just kind of happened. The withdrawals are so frightening that I never want to do it again so I haven't tried reducing again until now, I see my doctor a week from today so I figured I would cut down by .25 until then or try anyway until I can get the non extended release .25 tablets. It seems unrealistic that todays doctors would give me (a 23 year old) the equivalent in valium. I finally came across these success stories rather than all the horror ones. and to know that you are still helping others like me is a god-send. And I thank you with everything I got in me.

 

TJ

[[Ho...]]

Thank you so much for your response Pianogirl. It is so reassuring to know you had the awful boaty feeling and not much of a window at 6 months. It amazes me what these drugs can do.

 

God bless you for being here for us!

[[pi...]]

Thank you for still being here on this site, I have virtually nobody in person to help me, they all don't understand it at all so I have nobody to help me nor help me calm down or lead me into the right direction although I know it can be done I got from 2mgs a day to 1mg a day about a year ago but I don't remember how. I guess it just kind of happened. The withdrawals are so frightening that I never want to do it again so I haven't tried reducing again until now, I see my doctor a week from today so I figured I would cut down by .25 until then or try anyway until I can get the non extended release .25 tablets. It seems unrealistic that todays doctors would give me (a 23 year old) the equivalent in valium. I finally came across these success stories rather than all the horror ones. and to know that you are still helping others like me is a god-send. And I thank you with everything I got in me.

 

TJ

 

Hi TJ,

 

You have a good plan for now. Just wait until next week when you see your doctor and ask about switching to the regular formula of Xanax. Although a lot of doctors sadly disregard the Ashton Manual, you might print it out and take it to your appointment.  I did that and I was lucky that my doctor was happy to follow that formula for withdrawal and supported me through the process.

 

Just remember, you are not alone. There are so many of us here who understand what you are feeling and how difficult withdrawal can be for a percentage of people who take these medications.  We'll be here for you to help you along the way. You can do this, you are stronger than this medication.

 

PG 

 

[[pi...]]

Thank you for still being here on this site, I have virtually nobody in person to help me, they all don't understand it at all so I have nobody to help me nor help me calm down or lead me into the right direction although I know it can be done I got from 2mgs a day to 1mg a day about a year ago but I don't remember how. I guess it just kind of happened. The withdrawals are so frightening that I never want to do it again so I haven't tried reducing again until now, I see my doctor a week from today so I figured I would cut down by .25 until then or try anyway until I can get the non extended release .25 tablets. It seems unrealistic that todays doctors would give me (a 23 year old) the equivalent in valium. I finally came across these success stories rather than all the horror ones. and to know that you are still helping others like me is a god-send. And I thank you with everything I got in me.

 

TJ

 

Hi TJ,

 

You have a good plan for now. Just wait until next week when you see your doctor and ask about switching to the regular formula of Xanax. Although a lot of doctors sadly disregard the Ashton Manual, you might print it out and take it to your appointment.  I did that and I was lucky that my doctor was happy to follow that formula for withdrawal and supported me through the process.

 

Just remember, you are not alone. There are so many of us here who understand what you are feeling and how difficult withdrawal can be for a percentage of people who take these medications.  We'll be here for you to help you along the way. You can do this, you are stronger than this medication.

 

PG 

 

[[...]]

hey gorgeous;  just saying i love you and always will.  in a class for mhc.  doing ok.  still not healed but ok.  blessings have come from this but what a tough gig.  u r still the angel of angels.

[[Co...]]

Pianogirl...thank you for your success story...I read it almost daily..it is so similar to mine. I also was started on lorazepam for an inner ear condition that was causing panics and vertigo. Six months following the ear thing I was diagnosed with breasted cancer ( stage 0..thank you God)..I chose a bilateral mastectomy and wanted off the L before my surgery. I just stopped taking it because no one told me a thing about it. I completely fell into hell...panics like none other..( sure I was dying)...crying and sobbing in abject despair...dizziness..couldn't read hardly a thing etc etc etc). I got back on the L ..at the insistance of my physician because she thought I would need it to get through my surgery..she increased the dose. Actually my breasted surgery was never even 1/10 th the nightmare that L has caused. I never once thought I would die either from surgery or cancer...stage 0...surgery...no radio...no chemo 3 days in hospital...done..What plaqued me?....interdose s/x from L !....I finally caught on ...this June (2 years after my surgery) I read the Ashton Manual...I found it on line while researching the side effects of L....I began an informed ta vv per supported by my physician ( though she refused a V.    cross and was completely unfamiliar with the Ashton M. )....I am well recovered from my.          breasted cancer and rarely worry abou. t it. ..It is the benzo w/d that convinces me that I am.    dying..tortures me with intrusive thoughts about my own death...never from cancer...always.  stroke...heart attack...brain tumid.

[[Co...]]

Cooperten cont. ( lost my keyboard)....* brain tumor *.. the benzos cause me to believe I have adreanal disease...never once recurring cancer...say..ovarian cancer which would be a somewhat rational concern...no I have full blown anxiety over conditions I have never had...this is how I know it is the benzo w/d talking...it has no foundation in reality...but. just the same it has me terrified like real cancer never ever did....thank you so much for your success story...cooperten

[[pi...]]

Pianogirl...thank you for your success story...I read it almost daily..it is so similar to mine. I also was started on lorazepam for an inner ear condition that was causing panics and vertigo. Six months following the ear thing I was diagnosed with breasted cancer ( stage 0..thank you God)..I chose a bilateral mastectomy and wanted off the L before my surgery. I just stopped taking it because no one told me a thing about it. I completely fell into hell...panics like none other..( sure I was dying)...crying and sobbing in abject despair...dizziness..couldn't read hardly a thing etc etc etc). I got back on the L ..at the insistance of my physician because she thought I would need it to get through my surgery..she increased the dose. Actually my breasted surgery was never even 1/10 th the nightmare that L has caused. I never once thought I would die either from surgery or cancer...stage 0...surgery...no radio...no chemo 3 days in hospital...done..What plaqued me?....interdose s/x from L !....I finally caught on ...this June (2 years after my surgery) I read the Ashton Manual...I found it on line while researching the side effects of L....I began an informed ta vv per supported by my physician ( though she refused a V.    cross and was completely unfamiliar with the Ashton M. )....I am well recovered from my.          breasted cancer and rarely worry abou. t it. ..It is the benzo w/d that convinces me that I am.    dying..tortures me with intrusive thoughts about my own death...never from cancer...always.  stroke...heart attack...brain tumid.

 

Hello Cooperten,

 

You are such a strong person, a warrior. You took on breast cancer and that is not an easy task.  I'm sorry that you were also put on a benzo for an inner ear problem.  I have spoken to several doctors about what happened and they were all shocked and appalled that I was given Ativan for my condition. It certainly led to some pretty horrible times for me and I can see it is affecting you the same way. 

 

Yes, this withdrawal can be rough and honestly I also thought I had so many major and even minor diseases. That is a symptom of withdrawal.  I had many medical tests, I kept going to doctors because I think I really wanted to have something that could be "fixed".  Well, benzo withdrawal can be fixed.  Your body wants to heal, it wants to return to balance.  You have to give it a chance.  You survived breast cancer, you will survive this. Not only that, I can tell you that being well and healed from the side effects of benzo and withdrawal is a marvelous thing. You will get to experience this.

 

I'm glad your doctor is helping you with a taper. Remember, many people can taper directly from Ativan. 

 

The best way to beat these intrusive thoughts is to distract yourself from them.  Put them in the background by finding things to do. Reading, walking, watching movies, doing puzzles, anything that takes your mind off these thoughts.  One thing I did do was to forbid myself to google my symptoms.  The internet is a wonderful thing and can be a great resource.  But, I was able to find many diseases for the symptoms I had.  Once I stopped and accepted this process I felt much less distraught.

 

I hope my story will give you hope and confirmation that you will heal.  I lived on success stories myself.

 

You are going to be OK.....

 

Hugs,

 

pianogirl

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[...]]

Hi Piano Girl,

Your story is great. It really gives me hope.  My symptoms keep changing so drastically that I don't know what to think.  I was ok driving up until a month ago when I had a panic attack driving. This last one changed everything.  I've had many panic attacks while driving and they did not make me fear driving.  The anxiety is just so bad these days and everything seems like it's getting do much worse.  I'm getting so discouraged and I just hope this ends soon.  I guess that I am looking for some hope today.

[[pi...]]

Hi Piano Girl,

Your story is great. It really gives me hope.  My symptoms keep changing so drastically that I don't know what to think.  I was ok driving up until a month ago when I had a panic attack driving. This last one changed everything.  I've had many panic attacks while driving and they did not make me fear driving.  The anxiety is just so bad these days and everything seems like it's getting do much worse.  I'm getting so discouraged and I just hope this ends soon.  I guess that I am looking for some hope today.

 

Hello cat,

 

I'm so sorry about the uptick in the anxiety.  I know it can be disheartening to have this happen.  Try to float around that anxious and panic feeling. Here is a link that I found extremely helpful for me when I was suffering from withdrawal anxiety: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=41550.0

 

I also did a lot of self talk, even yelling at my symptoms when I was driving. I must have looked strange to someone seeing me but I don't think we need to be nice to our symptoms, after all, they are not nice to us.  Remember, that panic will not harm you, it is just a feeling. 

 

Time is the great healer. It can be difficult to be patient, believe me I understand that since I'm not that patient to begin with, but your body needs time to adjust.  All these tools can help you cope while the healing continues.  Stay strong and be sure in your mind that you will get better, you will....

 

Hugs,

 

pianogirl 

[[Ja...]]

Here I am, 1 more week until end of 13th month. Vibrations, nerve and muscle pain have lessened, but still come back like clockwork for hours. Still have 30 + hours good and about 12-14 bad. Everytime I get my symptoms it causes me to cry and to feel hopeless and helpless. Is this ever going to end? I am so worn out. It is relentless. Getting depressed from this.

[[pi...]]

Hi Jazzy,

 

I'm sorry you are still feeling those symptoms, I really know just how old it gets.  I remember those days very well.  I still had a lot of physical stuff just after one year off and I would wonder, sometimes out loud, when on earth I would start to feel normal and not have to deal with the pains and discomfort.  It is frustrating and can be depressing but keep looking forward.  This isn't going to last forever and it really is temporary.  I told another friend here on the forum that I might not have believed healing was possible when I felt so horrible if it hadn't happened to me. I'm no more special than anyone else and if I healed, so will you.  I will tell you once your system starts to be well, the days get better and better. The symptoms get lighter and lighter until they are just a hint of what they were. Finally, it all stops and you will be well.  Hang in there and don't let the benzo beast win this, you are stronger than it!

 

PG 

[[Ja...]]

Thanks Pianogirl. I will not let the benzo beast win.

 

[[ma...]]

Pianogirl,

 

Your story is such an inspiration to me. I love the title.  Congratulations!

 

I am not prepared for what is happening to me, but I'm sure no one is.  I am three months off Xanax.  I was hopeful that things would have improved by the acute 90 day mark, at least to a functional level.  I have stomach issues, extreme weakness, and the boaty feeling is 24/7.  I was told I took a small dose and  I should not have a problem coming off.  I am in my 60's and live alone and this is scaring the heck out of me as I have to look after myself. I was mostly bedridden since July of this year during tapering.  I have started trying to get up and push myself.  There are days it is difficult to be up for a few minutes.  I know it is early yet, but I fear I may be an extreme case, as I was so sick throughout my taper.  I have had  maybe two days that where not as bad .  Now it seems things have gotten worse this week, especially with the weakness and boaty feeling.  At this point I am not experiencing any anxiety, it is more physical. I feel like I am regressing and I was so in hopes that after the acute stage things would gradually improve. especially since my taper was so brutal.

 

I read where you said the boaty feeling came on you at three months.  I have had this even in  tolerance and tapering.  Now it is worse.  Do you remember when it lifted for you?  Did you experience extreme weakness? 

 

Thank you for being here for us.

 

~Mama2

[[pi...]]

Pianogirl,

 

Your story is such an inspiration to me. I love the title.  Congratulations!

 

I am not prepared for what is happening to me, but I'm sure no one is.  I am three months off Xanax.  I was hopeful that things would have improved by the acute 90 day mark, at least to a functional level.  I have stomach issues, extreme weakness, and the boaty feeling is 24/7.  I was told I took a small dose and  I should not have a problem coming off.  I am in my 60's and live alone and this is scaring the heck out of me as I have to look after myself. I was mostly bedridden since July of this year during tapering.  I have started trying to get up and push myself.  There are days it is difficult to be up for a few minutes.  I know it is early yet, but I fear I may be an extreme case, as I was so sick throughout my taper.  I have had  maybe two days that where not as bad .  Now it seems things have gotten worse this week, especially with the weakness and boaty feeling.  At this point I am not experiencing any anxiety, it is more physical. I feel like I am regressing and I was so in hopes that after the acute stage things would gradually improve. especially since my taper was so brutal.

 

I read where you said the boaty feeling came on you at three months.  I have had this even in  tolerance and tapering.  Now it is worse.  Do you remember when it lifted for you?  Did you experience extreme weakness? 

 

Thank you for being here for us.

 

~Mama2

 

Hi Mama2,

 

I hope my story will give hope to you and to others who are still in the journey towards wellness.  I'm sorry you are still having a rough time, but you are pretty early off benzos.  You asked how long the boaty feeling lasted for me and I would have to say several months.  I tried to continue on through this symptom and I remember even having to hold onto the counter at the check stand when I was at the grocery store.  Benzos have a strong effect on the vestibular system. I did try some exercises to help with this. They were very simple and just involved standing on one leg for a period of time.  I progressed to standing on one leg with my eyes closed.  I'm not sure it helped or not but I decided it was ultimately good for my balance anyway.

 

If you have been bedbound a lot, take baby steps in getting moving.  I do think for myself, it was good for me to push myself a bit so my muscles wouldn't atrophy too much. I would go out and water plants and get the mail and after I felt a little stronger I started to ride a bicycle. 

 

I'm in my 60's as well.  If being alone is scary or bothering you, try playing movies as a distraction. I did this so much during the worst times.  My husband would be at work all day and just the conversation in the light hearted movies would make me feel less alone.

 

Hang in there and let your body heal, I had so many physical symptoms as well.  All the time, your system is trying to right itself and it will work and work to regain balance.  Believe in your recovery, I used to tell myself, "What I'm feeling is my healing". 

 

PG 

[[Ja...]]

Well, now I am going to Florida on the 25th of December. It will b 4 days prior to starting my 15th month out. Not all that concerned about the flight. If I could do almost 9 hours from Italy, these 2 or 2 1/2 hours will b o.k. Just not done with my withdrawal cycle. Everything is changing, lessening somewhat, but still there enough to be disturbing. Did your symptoms start fading out by the 15th month? Can't wait until this ends. When or how did you feel when you knew it was on its last legs and would end soon? Thanks for your help.

[[pi...]]

Well, now I am going to Florida on the 25th of December. It will b 4 days prior to starting my 15th month out. Not all that concerned about the flight. If I could do almost 9 hours from Italy, these 2 or 2 1/2 hours will b o.k. Just not done with my withdrawal cycle. Everything is changing, lessening somewhat, but still there enough to be disturbing. Did your symptoms start fading out by the 15th month? Can't wait until this ends. When or how did you feel when you knew it was on its last legs and would end soon? Thanks for your help.

 

Hi Jazzy,

 

Oh I hope you have a great time in Florida.  I know we travel some really long flights sometimes and when we take the short ones I barely notice the travel at all.

 

I still had some symptoms at 15 months. That was when my best friend passed away and I had some of the dizzy boaty feeling hanging on and some pain and benzo flu as well.  It was important for me to be there for her family though so I did what I wanted to do.  I think after that I noticed less and less recurrence of symptoms.  It's hard to say how you really know it would end, I don't think I knew ahead of time, it was just an ebbing of all the icky stuff. I think your body simply starts to feel good and well balanced.  You also don't think about how any activity or stress might impact your cns, there is a sense of calm about it.  I know you'll get there too, I'm glad you feel a lessening, that means good healing in taking place.  Everything will become less disturbing for you, it really will.

 

I hope you have a lovely holiday filled with peace and love.

 

PG  :smitten:

[[Ga...]]

Pianogirl and mama2

I am half way through my 7 the mo. Off.  I am 67, have the support and love of my husband of 38yrs but he's all....most of my friends do not keep in touch.  My main two symptoms are bad anxiety/fear and Hopelessness from all those benzo lies that take over.  But I do have loss of muscle tone, lost 25 plus lbs, and muscle shakes. I cry all the time.  Have no appetite.  I wasn't really doing too bad with sleeping but things seem to be changing in that area and that worries me.  I just wonder if my age is really an issue, I thought I would be seeing a lessening of symptoms by now considering the length of time and low dosages I was on.  Wondering if either of you thought w/d was longer due to age and if you have any suggestions.  I have a good diet and I try to either walk or do my Exercycle for at least 20 min a day or more when I can.  But I have to push myself to do it. Not coping well at all.

Appreciate any feedback, ladies.  God bless and hope you are both doing well. 

[[...]]

Hi Galea-

 

I realize that your question was directed at Pianogirl and mama2 but I wanted to tell you that I know how you feel. I am an older woman, almost 8 months off clon. and I'm having the same w/d symptoms as you. Almost very day I wake up to face that never-ending feeling of intense anxiety. The fear just follows me around constantly. I have had several windows in the past but I would have thought the fear/panic would have let up by now. When I try to figure out just what I'm so fearful about, I fall into the downward spiral of hopelessness. So then I tell myself, "Ok. Just stop thinking." Unfortunately, that doesn't last for long.

 

And like you, I'm taking really good care of myself and I'm not on any other meds or alcohol. You weren't on benzos for long but I know that some people are very sensitive to them. Did you have this kind of fear before benzos?

 

Oh, I've completely lost my muscles, too, but perhaps that does have something to do with age. I do think that benzo w/d speeds up the process though.

 

I'm so glad that you have your husband's support.

 

rosa