Driving in the Left Lane- pianogirl's Story of Healing and Hope for all of You!

[[tu...]]

PG:

 

Had another driving question for you.

 

While things are improving (slowly) all the time with all of my symptoms, the driving thing is one of the slowest to improve.  It has though, back at its worst in tolerance and early wd I literally couldn't even drive, then it got to where I could drive as long as I didn't have to wait at any intersections (waiting would send me into major anxiety), then I got to where I could go anywhere without long/busy intersections to now.  Now I can drive most places as long as the drive in under 20 mins and it is NOT on the freeway.  I still don't think I could manage the freeway.  Really busy traffic, fast traffic and the freeways just rev up my symptoms (feel spaced out and kind of dizzy).

 

I'm wondering what your recovery (regarding driving) looked like.  How it progressed and how many months until you were able to manage the freeway?  I have trouble deciding what is fear/anxiety and what is a real physical symptom that I need to respect.

 

I truly am nearly healed.  My other symptoms are gone or basically gone.  I occasionally get a little bit of anxiety in certain situations if I am overtired or sick, but nothing (nothing) like I had in tolerance and wd.  I am able to manage it and could live with this problem if I had to, but the driving is not where I want it to be.  I have people and places I like to visit that are a 1-2 freeway drive away and I want/need to be able to make those drives alone.

 

Your perspective on this would be very helpful to me.

 

Thanks!

 

TG

[[tu...]]

p.s. forgot to mention in the above post that I am 14 months Ambien free!

[[Wh...]]

Yours is a beautiful story.  I hadn't seen it until tonight.  We are so very fortunate to have you here Pianogirl, I'm so glad you had such a quick recovery from that fiasco of medicine.

 

May all good things come your way.

[[pi...]]

Yours is a beautiful story.  I hadn't seen it until tonight.  We are so very fortunate to have you here Pianogirl, I'm so glad you had such a quick recovery from that fiasco of medicine.

 

May all good things come your way.

 

thanks whoopsie, my medical history was a fiasco. i'm typing w/o caps because i had shoulder surgery 2 days ago and can only use one hand. 

 

i'm happy to say that the surgery and the medications used for it have had no effect on my benzo wd. i had informed everyone in triplicate my wishes in terms of drugs for surgery. everyone listened and without question abided by my requirements.

 

i feel fine except for the expected surgical pain. they had to do quite a lot of work in there so that i can have a fully functional right wing.

 

i'll be back around bb more once typing isn't such a chore.

 

pg 

[[Wh...]]

Yes, Pianogirl, you take it easy on yourself, that has to hurt.  I don't think you'll ever be fooled again.  If I was your neighbor I'd bring you some papaya, all prepared for you in a frosted crystal bowl with a sterling silver fork so you could just sit back, close your eyes, taste the Tropics and feel like a Queen.  I'll always remember that tip you gave me to try that.  Man that was a delish treat!!

 

I hope you have a smooth recovery from this also.  Really appreciate what you do here.  We'd be way worse off without you.

 

[[St...]]

Yours is a beautiful story.  I hadn't seen it until tonight.  We are so very fortunate to have you here Pianogirl, I'm so glad you had such a quick recovery from that fiasco of medicine.

 

May all good things come your way.

 

thanks whoopsie, my medical history was a fiasco. i'm typing w/o caps because i had shoulder surgery 2 days ago and can only use one hand. 

 

i'm happy to say that the surgery and the medications used for it have had no effect on my benzo wd. i had informed everyone in triplicate my wishes in terms of drugs for surgery. everyone listened and without question abided by my requirements.

 

i feel fine except for the expected surgical pain. they had to do quite a lot of work in there so that i can have a fully functional right wing.

 

i'll be back around bb more once typing isn't such a chore.

 

pg 

 

Hi Pianogirl,

 

I'm glad to hear that your surgery has gone well and that you aren't having any trouble with meds. What a relief I'm sure this has been for you to get this surgery over with and the worry of what would happen.

I hope your recovery from the surgery goes smooth and you are back to being even better real soon.

 

healing to all of us in the way we need it,

hugs,

Sally 

[[Sv...]]

Very much an inspiration!  Thanks for sharing Pianogirl!

[[re...]]

Hi Pianogirl -

 

I remember when you welcomed me to this forum back in the Summer of 2012.  I didn't even realize that you had posted your success story!  Congrats to you on your healing, and thank you for sharing it here.    It is of great value around here, where hope is the only thing we can cling to at times.  And faith, too, of course.  I hope you find yourself well, and take care! 

 

Redeemed

[[pi...]]

Very much an inspiration!  Thanks for sharing Pianogirl!

 

Svenhoak,  sorry I haven't checked my success blog in a while.  I am happy if I can provide hope and ispiration for anyone to see this process through and reap the benefits of being healed from benzo withdrawal.

 

PG 

[[pi...]]

Hi Pianogirl -

 

I remember when you welcomed me to this forum back in the Summer of 2012.  I didn't even realize that you had posted your success story!  Congrats to you on your healing, and thank you for sharing it here.    It is of great value around here, where hope is the only thing we can cling to at times.  And faith, too, of course.  I hope you find yourself well, and take care! 

 

Redeemed

 

Hi Redeemed!!!

 

Thanks for the kind words.  I read your last entry to your blog and it sounds like you have some great coping tools in place.  The reality is that hope works, just as our bodies work to find balance and harmony once again.

 

Warm Wishes,

 

PG  :smitten:

[[Pe...]]

You were inspiring even before you posted your success story.

 

Wanted to stop by and thank you for your continuing effort to help everyone through this.  I miss talking with you- but it is a good thing that we are able to do more things outside of the forum now.

 

Take care PG.

[[Ja...]]

Just wondering if anything helped you for your nerve pain. I get mild vibrations and then nerve pain throughout my body. I am ending 6th month out and this is my last major symptom. Other symptoms are more manageable. Tx

[[pi...]]

Just wondering if anything helped you for your nerve pain. I get mild vibrations and then nerve pain throughout my body. I am ending 6th month out and this is my last major symptom. Other symptoms are more manageable. Tx

 

Hi Jazzy,

 

I wish there had been a solution for the nerve pain, it would have made my journey a bit easier.  The only real fix for the pain is: time.  I tried tylenol and also magnesium but to be honest I'm don't think I felt much relief. If the vibrations and nerve pain are your last remaining big issues, you are doing great!!! 

 

The one thing I can tell you is that it will go away.  Once mine did it never came back again.  I wish you all the best with your recovery.

 

PG 

[[Ja...]]

Tx Pianogirl. I appreciate your encouragement.

[[pa...]]

hi pianogirl,

 

i have been sick for a year now. and, do not see much improvement. getting so tired and scared.

need your encouragement that everything will be alright.  i have never been out of control in my life.

 

 

[[pi...]]

Hi pacific ocean,

 

I'm sorry you are feeling so badly, I get you completely about feeling sick for a year.  I was terribly terribly ill while on benzos due to tolerance. I didn't know it, neither did my doctors. I went from doctor to doctor and test to test.  I know how it feels like to not have control over your body, its scary.  So very scary.

 

You were on a lot of medications and just recently finished your klonopin taper.  Thats a lot for your body to adjust to.  I really truly believe in the body's ability to right itself.  I'm not necessarily a patient person, but that was the one thing I had to develop. The patience to let my body heal on its own time.  That and accepting that it might take a while.

 

At first I convinced myself I would be well in 6 months, after all, I had always healed quickly from anything else healthwise in my past.  After 6 months, I thought well, 9 months.  That was too much pressure to put on myself.  From that point, I just took one day at a time and accepted that I had to go through this process.

 

You will have the courage to get through this rough time, and the payoff is so great.  Once the glimpses of healing start you will see what your future will be.  They might be very short glimpses at first but that means your body is trying hard to return to balance but all the parts are not quite ready yet.

 

I know you can do this, believe in healing, it will happen.

 

PG 

 

 

[[pa...]]

Hi pacific ocean,

 

I'm sorry you are feeling so badly, I get you completely about feeling sick for a year.  I was terribly terribly ill while on benzos due to tolerance. I didn't know it, neither did my doctors. I went from doctor to doctor and test to test.  I know how it feels like to not have control over your body, its scary.  So very scary.

 

You were on a lot of medications and just recently finished your klonopin taper.  Thats a lot for your body to adjust to.  I really truly believe in the body's ability to right itself.  I'm not necessarily a patient person, but that was the one thing I had to develop. The patience to let my body heal on its own time.  That and accepting that it might take a while.

 

At first I convinced myself I would be well in 6 months, after all, I had always healed quickly from anything else healthwise in my past.  After 6 months, I thought well, 9 months.  That was too much pressure to put on myself.  From that point, I just took one day at a time and accepted that I had to go through this process.

 

You will have the courage to get through this rough time, and the payoff is so great.  Once the glimpses of healing start you will see what your future will be.  They might be very short glimpses at first but that means your body is trying hard to return to balance but all the parts are not quite ready yet.

 

I know you can do this, believe in healing, it will happen.

 

PG 

 

hi pianogirl,

 

thank you so much for the encouragement. cannot express the word of appreciation for this post. "bless you."

i am one of those lucky one who got symptomatic from the beginning of taking poisons. has been enduring the nightmares all by myself. (there were just too many nightmares from these poisons.)

with your post, i am squeezing every bit of energy left in me to win this battle.

love you so much pianogirl.

[[Ja...]]

I read your post that you thought you would be healed by 6 month, then by 9 months....I too felt that by 6 months I would surely be healed. Now I am close to 7  1/2 months out and still not there. Much improvements and on my good days I am pretty much back to normal. My lousy days are still as lousy and it effects my mood negatively. I know it's all chemical based, as on my good days I am happy, motivated and have no worries and positively believe that I will heal. I'm having such a hard time with this roller coaster ride.

[[pi...]]

I read your post that you thought you would be healed by 6 month, then by 9 months....I too felt that by 6 months I would surely be healed. Now I am close to 7  1/2 months out and still not there. Much improvements and on my good days I am pretty much back to normal. My lousy days are still as lousy and it effects my mood negatively. I know it's all chemical based, as on my good days I am happy, motivated and have no worries and positively believe that I will heal. I'm having such a hard time with this roller coaster ride.

 

Jazzy,

 

You said it, it is a roller coaster ride and gets so tiring.  All I can tell you is that the good days will start to replace the bad.  I know at about 13 months when I had a streak of good days I was formulating my success story in my head.  Then uh oh, another wave of sorts would show up. 

 

I can tell you now I absolutely have no thoughts of withdrawal now.  You will too, there are so many twists and turns to withdrawal but you will get to the finish line. 

 

PG 

[[Ja...]]

Thank u Pianogirl. I appreciate your post and I will try and be patient and positive. 

[[pi...]]

~~ 2 YEAR ANNIVERSARY ~~

 

On June 11 it was my 2 year anniversary of jumping off benzos.

 

In so many ways it feels like just yesterday, in other ways it seems like ancient history.  I'm so thankful and grateful that I am where I am today.  Just like many others, I wondered if I would ever be well,  be complete, be normal.

 

The new normal is much better than the old one.  The new normal is outspoken about her health and wellbeing.  The new normal sees everything in life with a different eye, an eye that appreciates all the beauty in our world.  The new normal can also cry at the sadness we encounter in our lives and the lives of others.

 

Could it be better than this? Sure, my shoulder could be rehabbed by now so I wouldn't have to spend days each week going to physical therapy and I could be on my bike and playing tennis.  But I am progressing well in my recovery.  Its work but well worth the effort.

 

With patience, determination and acceptance, everyone will reach the place that I am at.  Healing is not optional, it will happen.

 

PG 

[[Ho...]]

  Healing is not optional, it will happen.

 

PG 

 

I love that pg. 

[[pa...]]

hi pianogirl,

 

besides the physical symptoms, will i recover my old brain back in terms of cognition, memory, perception/memory, speed, thinking ability, and etc.. (all the normal brain power.)

this is my biggest concern now.

[[pi...]]

hi pianogirl,

 

besides the physical symptoms, will i recover my old brain back in terms of cognition, memory, perception/memory, speed, thinking ability, and etc.. (all the normal brain power.)

this is my biggest concern now.

 

Hi PO,

 

Yes you will recover all the cognitive functions and brain power.  During my first several months off my lips quivered when I tried to talk because I couldn't seem to get the words out.  It was frustrating to say the least. 

 

It does get better with time, my memory is better than my husbands who has never been on a benzo.  I can learn new things again, case in point, my performance last December. It involved me learning a very complex Rachmaninoff piece.

 

You can and should exercise your brain. Everyone should do that.  I did many puzzles and word games while in recovery. I started on the easiest (dummy) levels and moved up as I felt more coherent.  Scrabble, crosswords, Sudoku.... all of these types of things helps the brain stay flexible.  To this day, I still do about 3 crossword puzzles a day.

 

PG 

[[pa...]]

hi pianogirl,

 

besides the physical symptoms, will i recover my old brain back in terms of cognition, memory, perception/memory, speed, thinking ability, and etc.. (all the normal brain power.)

this is my biggest concern now.

 

Hi PO,

 

Yes you will recover all the cognitive functions and brain power.  During my first several months off my lips quivered when I tried to talk because I couldn't seem to get the words out.  It was frustrating to say the least. 

 

It does get better with time, my memory is better than my husbands who has never been on a benzo.  I can learn new things again, case in point, my performance last December. It involved me learning a very complex Rachmaninoff piece.

 

You can and should exercise your brain. Everyone should do that.  I did many puzzles and word games while in recovery. I started on the easiest (dummy) levels and moved up as I felt more coherent.  Scrabble, crosswords, Sudoku.... all of these types of things helps the brain stay flexible.  To this day, I still do about 3 crossword puzzles a day.

 

PG 

hi angel,

i need some major break soon to continue. was enduring all those horrendous symptoms for last 13 years with a will to survive and hope. and, it's not getting easier.

just totally lost right now.