The Klonopin Klub

[[Im...]]

Human I am so sorry about the sx you are having.. I don't know a lot about acupuncture but just wanted you to know I sure hope this doesn't last and hope you get to feeling better real soon. Again I'm so sorry your having such a rough time!

                                                                  Imsaved

 

 

 

 

Cold turkey off Klonipin 2mg three times a day

A month later found a Dr to listen and started me all over on Klonipin (2mg three times a day)

Since I had been without it anyway started out on 3mg a day (1mg three times a day)

First taper to 2.5 mg a day Couldn't handle it (1mg twice a day 1/2mg once a day)1mg in the morning 1/2 around lunch and 1mg at night

Went up to 2 and 3/4 pill a day ( 1mg twice a day 3/4 mg once a day) 1mg in the morning 1mg at night and 3/4ths at lunch

Down to 2 and 1/2 pill again Please pray ( 1mg twice a day and 1/2 once a day)1mg in the morning

1mg at night and 1/2 at lunch

Down to 2 pills a day ( 1mg twice a day) 1mg in the morning and 1mg at night

Tried 2 and 3/4th pill Couldn't handle it

Back up to 2mg (1mg twice a day) 1mg in the morning and 1mg at night

[[re...]]

Good morning, all -

 

Deinoncote, thank you for the sympathy on our house problem--it really is discouraging, because the house is falling apart in myriad ways, although the trouble with the basement is arguably the most serious and intractable issue.  We have one of those lawyers who, if he weren't on your side, you'd call him a shark and you'd loathe him.  But a vicious shark is almost too good for those basement crooks; right now he's handling a case against our negligent insurance company, but it sounds as though he's willing to take on the basement jerks, too.  On another subject--you are so right that seeing people start to move away from this thread is a positive sign.  On one level, I'd like to stay just as tuned in, to the extent that it enables me to offer help to others.  But at a certain point my non-benzo life reasserted demands I had neglected to some extent while in recovery, and I had to return my attention to more ordinary things.  The fact that I'm able to do so does mean a lot.  And finally, as to your friend with the Xanax/Ativan problem--yes, it would annoy me, I think, to have someone come to me for advice and then summarily do the opposite of what I'd recommended, especially when it comes to something like this.  I might have to chalk it up, though, to her judgment's being impaired by the drugs, and her dependency on them, and then maybe distance myself from her situation.  I don't know whether you can say to her, for instance, that it's difficult for you to stay close to her and watch her willfully go through something so awful, which she could have avoided if she'd taken you more seriously.  Would that be too harsh?  I don't know.  Anyway, I hope you can avoid letting this episode bug you too much, so as to get on with your own healing.

 

Jaxy, I think you're going to do wonderfully at teaching.  I know you feel you have an extra reason for nervousness (not having taught benzo-free before), but let me say two things.  One is that you may actually find it's EASIER to teach off benzos--more clarity of thought, and so on.  And the other thing is that nervousness, benzos or no benzos in the picture, is a totally natural condition of anyone starting a new teaching job, or even just a new semester.  You hear stories about professors who throw up before the first class of every single new academic year.  I'm not one of those, but I'm always nervous as hell at the beginning of the new academic year.  I'm walking to my first class, thinking, "How is it, again, that I do this?  What do I say?  How do I get started, and how do I keep going?"  I'm always convinced that this is the year they're going to figure out, finally, that I know nothing and am a total fraud.  I think this is a common experience, especially for women, who suffer more than men--I believe--from the "impostor syndrome," believing on some level that they're frauds who just haven't been found out yet.  What always happens to me is that I have a few students who really are unhappy with my classes, but generally for reasons that have little or nothing to do with me.  The rest are either satisfied or very happy, and often they find nice ways of letting me know that.  One thing that may help you--and maybe I don't need to tell you this, maybe you already do it--is to draw up detailed lesson plans.  For my job, of course, there has to be a syllabus at the beginning of the year in any case, but I also do weekly lesson plans, which I distribute to the students on Monday.  I don't give details of every single thing we're going to be doing, but I lay out a basic agenda--generally, a week's worth of this takes up one printout page.  I don't know if this helps you, but I thought I'd put it out there.  In any case, YOU WILL BE FINE!

 

Sorry for the long digression from benzo-related questions, folks!  I hope everyone has a gentle day.

 

Peace,

 

Rek 

 

 

[[ja...]]

Happy Summer Saturday, all!

 

I really, really appreciate all of your suggestions on both the teaching and the energy stuff...you guys are awesome. You know - I feel sometimes that I'm entering a room here with old friends who know me. Which, I guess, is true - I've known some of you for over a year now (!!!) I haven't been working, so I've had time on my hands to worry and monitor my thoughts and actions ad nauseum. Plus, it's coming up on 5 months since I started yoga, and I know my body so much better, for better or worse.

 

So, regarding the energy thing, this is what happened. I found myself unable to think or make decisions. I mean literally - I was standing in the soda aisle at the supermarket and could not make a decision, everything was so fuzzy  So I grabbed a Coke from the cooler and drank it (paid for it later), and finally made a decision (Sprite Zero and Vanilla Coke Zero, if anyone cares, lol). It was then I said to myself that I needed to take care of myself, whatever it took. I headed over to the "health superstore" and got Energy Vitality by Gaia Herbs - it has Green Tea Leaf, Eleuthero root, Cola nut, Ginseng, Nettle seed, Schisandra berry, Ginkgo leaf and Prickly Ash bark. It's my 3rd day taking it (I also take Wild Salmon Oil and Cranberry supplements) and I feel so much better. Herbs have worked with me, so I run with it.

 

I crack myself up sometimes - I'm all into herbs and natural stuff and yoga, and pretty much don't eat meat, but you can always see me with diet soda. 

 

About teaching - thanks again for the encouragement. Reks, I forgot that you would know this firsthand! Duh. I felt so much better (as I always do) after reading your post. Iggy - I often wonder how people know these things about me when they only know me online. But I bet you're a good judge of character  Njoy - what website is that? I think that would be great for me. So I guess we'll see. I have amazing people in my corner - really phenomenal educators, and I'm trying to get up to speed on innovations and new ideas.

 

Reks, I can't believe you're still dealing with this shyte! I am so frustrated for you! 

 

Njoy's out on the water...yay!

 

For all you taper-ers, it's not that I don't address you. It's that I'm a cold turkey kid. But I don't envy your struggles...

 

Hang tight all, and have windowful days 

[[...]]

I agree that it is a very positive sign when people get back to their lives... so much is so OCD w/ this experience... it feels good to start making those breaks from dependency to freedom to resume more normal activitives.... its not 100% for me but I try to say things that count and you can only say, don't make big cuts unless you can handle the fallout so many times.  I do like the comradierie... to think i have friends w/ whom I speak  regularly is still quite comforting... but I love it when people just show up and say, hi.  As a country girl, its always a treat.  But, life is calling.  I can hear it for the first time in years... it waxes and wanes but definitely toward a clearer day.  I thought that was so nice of you to offer Jax curriculum suggestions.  I agree, I think she may have found her calling.  I wo :angel:uldn't mind studying Hebrew under her.  Awesome!  I'm off to mow the lawn!  Garlic Festival later... who'd a thought...  :  I hope everyone's day is warm and hopeful: Njoy

[[...]]

Jax, I have that info at home... I'm on my way their now so stay posted... as I recall, that site is no longer free but it was very good. 

[[La...]]

Hello all experienced taperers, and k klub  jumpers,

 

First of all I want to say thank you for your posts and for giving me hope that I too can do this.  I hope that some of you veterans will stay to encourage us newbies. I know its going to be a long road for me filled with many twists & turns. So if there's any advice you could give I would so greatly appreciate it.

First off my doc wants me to do a 10% cut on Monday, is that the average sized cut for a k taper? I want to do 1% per day as opposed to a big cut & hold. Thoughts on that from anyone?Looking into liquid titration or cutting using a microgram scale for dry cutting. Would like to stay as functional as possible because I have a 13 year old son who needs me.  Also , as far as symptoms are concerned will they come on right away? I'm doing my best to fight the fear of the unknown but i must say it is tough. Any supplements you can suggest that may help with symptoms? Especially the cortisol & anxiety?

Please keep in touch & help us keep the faith in knowing that we can succeed just as you all have.

 

Thank you so very much,

Laelani

[[...]]

okay, first, Jaxy, the  name of the text  and CD is "Basics of Biblical Hebrew." v.1.  The authors are GD Pratico and MV VanPelt.  I can't find the site.  i go to the bookmrked address and it no longer tells me its moved but there is no info regarding it at all.  There may be better programs out there or check out Amazon for the text.  It comes w/ the CD.  I don't know what to tell you about the soda. Now, Laelani.  10% sounds good for a dry cut.  I believe that if you want to cut 1% a day... liquid titrating is better.  I don't think anyone disputes that liquid is a smoother way to go... I just couldn't get it together to do it. 

[[re...]]

Hey, folks!

 

Jaxy:        I think you're going to have a lot of fun with this teaching stuff!  Don't go overboard on the soda, though, my friend--did you know a link has been posited between soda and pancreatic cancer?  I don't mean to scare you, but that stuff is really, really bad for you.  I'm not sure the soda-pancreatic-cancer connection has been firmly established, but you'll find warnings at WebMD.  The other thing is that diet sodas have been shown to inhibit weight loss, rather than assist with it.  I found this to be true in my teens when I was addicted to Tab--that stuff (and artificial sweeteners in general) made me HUNGRY!  I'm sorry--I don't mean to lecture you, but I want you to be well!  One suggested alternative to soft drinks is 100% fruit juice mixed with fizzy water, if part of what you like about soft drinks is the carbonation.  Some of us can't really tolerate carbonation (I can't anymore for the most part, although I make an occasional exception), but if you're fine with the bubbles, you can add them to drinks that are good for you.   

 

NJoy: I meant to say in my earlier post--but forgot--that I got out on the water, too!!  Not the same way as you, but still fun.  A few years ago an athletic cousin of mine introduced me and some other family members to stand-up paddle-boarding, and I was an instant convert.  It's weird--my sense of balance on dry land is relatively poor, but I really didn't have an instant's trouble standing up on the paddle-board--I found it easy, at least on flat water.  My cousin said, "It's like walking on water."  I would add, "But a lot easier."  And so much fun.  Anyway, since that summer of the first SUPping expedition with my cousin, I've established what is turning out to be an annual tradition: every year, some time in August, taking my son and his best friend to a nearby park that has a pretty lake and rents SUP boards by the hour.  For this year's expedition yesterday was the day, and we saw a bald eagle soaring over the lake--how cool is that?

 

Laelani and anyone else still in the throes of this benzo-odyssey, my repeated advice is to take the best care of yourself that you possibly can--in terms of exercise, nutrition, sleep (to the extent that the withdrawal experience will permit you to sleep), and just being kind to yourself--e.g., by finding ways to indulge yourself that don't exacerbate withdrawal symptoms.  For me that meant, sometimes, taking longer showers (nice, hot ones), allowing myself foods that I could tolerate (there were very few foods I could eat, for reasons separate from the benzos--I had a severe internal inflammatory condition) that were a little bit sinful (such as ice cream), and that sort of thing.  The idea is to behave in such a way as to be sending yourself the message, all the time, that YOU DESERVE TO BE WELL AND TO FEEL WELL.  Good luck to everyone--I hope you can find ways of feeling better.

 

Peace,

 

Rek

[[An...]]

Hi Lealani,

I responded to you in the previous page 423 I think ..Please see ..

From what I have read, 10% is way too severe of a cut ..Please be cautious with your tapering, so that you will have a smooth and successful outcome.

The idea is to go very very slow ..

Thinking of you, and wishing you the very best ..

Love, Anu

 

[[De...]]

HPC -

 

I don't think it was the acupuncture that made your wave worse after this cut.  You're cutting by volume, 0.125 every cut.  This equates to a bigger and bigger percentage of your starting dose.  For instance - 0.125 of 1.75 is about 7%.  0.125 of 1.125 is about 11%.  For most people, this percentage is important.  Look back on previous cuts to try to determine what your threshold is.  I could be wrong about the acupuncture, but I don't think so.

 

Rek -

 

Thanks for responding to me.  My friend wasn't taking Ativan when I gave her the advice to stay away from it - she just tends to make very poor decisions.  I've distanced myself from her for that reason already.  I would like to be able to help her, but I can't help someone who does the opposite of what I advise.

 

Laelani -

 

My experience is not with daily cuts, but I think 1% is a bit large.  I don't think 10% every 10 to 14 days is too much, although I will always advocate for beginning slower.  Usually people have already been through a lot when they begin a slow taper.  I think you'll do fine.  Once I got into my titration, I hardly ever thought about it.  It became second nature.  If you find you can't tolerate daily cuts, your body will be sure to let you know right away. 

 

Happy Healing to Everyone! 

 

~D

[[br...]]

Hey K-Klub:

 

Just checking in.  It's that time again for me.  Yesterday I tapered from 1mg K daily to .75mg K daily.  I felt the difference immediately.  Plan on staying on this dose for three months before tapering to .5mg K daily.  I'm hoping the next three months will allow for a full stabilization at this dose.

 

I am experiencing the old symptoms: derealization, cog fog, rebound anxiety, heightened response to noise, light, and external stresses, benzo-sickness, tingling in my spine (especially my neck) which used to be my spidey sense that a panic attack was coming on, restlessness, irritability, depression, etc.  What a bizarre and cruel mix of symptoms we experience in this process!

 

I know some of these symptoms well from my experiences with anxiety and panic both before benzo use and throughout benzo use.  However, some of these symptoms are so horribly unique to benzo withdraw.  It's really hard to even explain to people in my life who are trying to be supportive.  My kind roommate asks, "Is there anything I can do?"  The best I can come up with is it's like a really bad hangover that waxes and wanes but won't quite go away.  Although it can feel more like how I imagine being on chemotherapy while on a bad acid trip.  The most frustrating part has to be how unpredictable the course - the waxing and waning, the waves and the windows.  How nice it would be if someone could say, "You will experience these specific symptoms for this specific amount of time."  I feel so vulnerable.  Everyday is a wait and see.

 

I have off from work this week and I'm going to try to take it easy.  Sleep, Netflix, acupuncture, eating good foods, maybe a beach day if I'm feeling up to it - zero stress.  I know the symptoms are not limited to one week post-taper; but at least it will give me a good start at this dose.

 

Any advice or support is always appreciated.

 

Be well all.

 

Brian

 

[[La...]]

Deononcote,

 

So in your opinion, daily cuts of 1% for 10 days as opposed to one cut of 10% would be a lot harder to tolerate? I was thinking of titrating that way. Yes I definitely want to be careful, but I also want to find out what I can in fact handle. I've definitely been through a lot with my last taper failure, but then again,  I chopped .25 mg immediately & probably started at a lower mg dosage than I should have. It was horrible 3 to 4 weeks into. Of course I'm fearful of those extreme withdrawal symptoms, & yes I'm hoping a more controlled taper will allow me to tolerate what may come with this taper. I want to be successful this time around more than anything, & I also want to be able to function...have more windows than waves during all of this.

Can you tell me how much you titrated, & how much you cut & how it worked for you?

Please, still trying to decide if I should dry cut or liquid titrate. I'm hoping to start by alternating my morning & night doses of .5 each, till I get down to my midday dose of .25, then I'll be at 3 doses of .25 throughout the day, & can continue cutting from there.

Your thoughts, advice & guidance are greatly helpful & much appreciated.

 

Hugs,

Laelani

[[12...]]

???Klonopin 6-8 mg for 26 years with a pocket full of 1mg Ativan PRN. When the doctor tapered me two months at .25/month I thought I was going to die. A psychiatrist decided to take all the Klonopin away at once when I showed up in ER. And replaced it with Librium but never followed up. After a year of hell I forced doctor to switch me to diazepam and I am reducing on diazepam. It is a year lost with horrible effects. I was ready for the nursing home. I really thought so.

[[pe...]]

Brian,

I really appreciated your description of symptoms and the difficulty trying to explain it to people. I wish it were possible to know the end date for each of us and live everyday with the hurt of not knowing when exactly relief will come.

 

Everyone,

I am wondering today how I'll know the difference between side effects and the true symptoms of anxiety and depression that got me into this medicated mess. I am feeling things very similar to how I felt before I wound up on klonopin - mostly like I just can't quite wakeup - kind of out of it in a way I can't exactly describe. I'm wondering what's what and what will be left after I'm off this ride.  How do you tell the difference? How do you look forward?

This has been such a hard day. I'm sad for myself and I'm sad for my husband and two young sons.

 

 

 

peace2

[[Ma...]]

Has anyone struggled with marital problems from being on the drug or coming off?

[[La...]]

Has anyone struggled with marital problems from being on the drug or coming off?

 

Yes ,

 

I am currently struggling daily with them. It's been extremely tough these past few months & I'm going to start my 2nd try at tapering on Monday. Stress is really bad on symptoms. I know that ,

We'll see if our marriage survives this!

 

Laelani

 

[Guest [14...]]

I was a total @sshole on clonazepam...so angry...and my wife hated me!!! Looking back, I have no clue why I was so angry. Once I tapered from 6mg/day to 2mg, my old kindhearted personality re-emerged. My marriage is now the strongest it has ever been!

[[La...]]

 

 

For me its the other way around.....husband is having a difficult time handling all of this....he gets very stressed & angry. Wants to fix it for me but he can't. Has definitely put a strain on our marriage.

 

 

 

Laelani

[[De...]]

Hi Laelani -

 

Some daily taperers suggested that 1% daily cuts is a bit high, although in a ten-day period the actual dose that you would cut would be less with the daily cuts.  For instance, 1% of 1 is 0.01, but 1% of 0.95 is 0.0095.  I would not have been able to tolerate daily cuts.  My first cut was 0.01mg after switching to titration.  I felt that cut 6 days later, so I think daily cutting would have really stacked up on me, whereas cutting every two weeks gave me an opportunity to feel the cut and then recover from it.  That's another good reason to start very slow - I was going to try cutting weekly and found that wouldn't work.  I ended up with a couple cuts stacked on top of each other, but because I'd made such small cuts it was bearable. 

 

I know it's incredibly frightening beginning a taper.  I was absolutely terrified.  I'd already been through hell and had no idea what I would be able to tolerate.  I wanted off but knew I couldn't withstand the acute sxs again.  But a lot of people have been where you are now and they made it through just fine.    Once you get going you'll know.  An over-rapid taper is very unpleasant, but it is not like that while you're titrating.  I was largely able to live my life while I was titrating, although I would anticipate needing some extra sick days while you're recovering.

 

~D

[[br...]]

Hello K-Klub:

 

Hello new comers and old timer:

 

If I can spread some hope around for a change; I'll take the opportunity to do so.  I have been reading posts and looking at my taper history this morning.

 

I see a common theme of everyone's story: a problem arises in life and a benzo is prescribed to treat that problem; then eventually benzos become a bigger problem than for whatever is was prescribed.  The other theme I see is the process of coming off benzos: we struggle; we experience symptoms, sometimes unpleasant and sometimes horrible; we struggle; we hit walls; we come up with new strategies; we taper and one day we come off benzos altogether; benzos and benzo withdraw become a part of our past.

 

My point is this process is finite; for all of us.  There are people on here on all points of the spectrum.  There are people just planning their taper; people halfway through; people almost finished and people benzo-free.  I get frustrated about how long this process takes.  I was looking at my taper history this morning.  One year ago, I was taking 4 mg  Klonopin daily.  Today I am taking .75 mg Klonopin daily.  One morning, not unlike today, I will wake up  and post that I am benzo-free.  Today is not that day.  Even though if feels like that day will never come; I have to believe in all the people on here who have come before me.  I am making progress and I will be benzo-free when that time comes.

 

My thoughts and prayers and love are with you all - wherever you are in this process.

 

Brian

 

[[...]]

I just want to offer kudos to Deinocote and Brainrecovering :thumbsup:   As someone who's been at this awhile and feltthe choice I made for this last taper was a good one (so far)... I think you both make important points.  I agree Deiinocote... you need those days for it to catch up w/ you... recover before moving on.  I have noticed themes in my own journey and being able to rely on them when things where bad made the bad time more tolerable.  It takes so long and I know its frustrating for anyone close trying to support us but you gotta tell them... what do they think its like for you.  Do what you can and I try to remember that this doesn't give me a get out of responsibility to your relationship card... Good morning everyone...regards for a bountiful day.    Njoy

[[An...]]

I hope this doesn't sound alarmist, I was all set to have a great day. I went to walk, which usually gets rid of any anxiety but my vision started tunneling a bit. I'm about to fall over at this point, stumbled back home. I don't feel terribly panicked, and am just wondering if anyone else has had these symptoms:

 

Extreme dizziness (sudden onset)

Bizarre vision changes

Lightheadedness

 

I think it might just be migraine with aura, I've only had 2 before, but this seems similar. Or a weird panic attack. This much visual disturbance generally points to migraine with aura, but I haven't really had a severe panic attack before, at least not bad enough to be anything other than just severe panic and distress. If it's taper related, I can live with that either way.

[[pe...]]

Antonious- this sounds a lot like a migraine with aura. The doctor I saw suggested the first tjo g to do was take ibruptoben, lie down and watch and wait for an hour or so. It should ease up, if not maybe you could call a dr or nurse line for advice.

 

Best,

Peace2

[Guest [lo...]]

Peace2,

 

I see you've updated your progress. Great job!!!! You're sooooo close  :thumbsup:

[[An...]]

Thanks Peace2, since I wrote that the symptoms got a bit more consistent, and it's certainly migraine with aura. Nothing else makes me feel like I'm constantly spinning to the left, or feeling like I should rest. Certainly not panic. Sorry I seemed a bit alarmed there. On the bright side, I guess I get to sit back and relax a bit today.