The Klonopin Klub

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Laelani:  I'm not sure this is what you want to hear but I found it a lot easier in  my early taper when people were not around.  I was so alarming to those closest to me that it just rattled me to have them around all the time.  When you live w/ other people, that's not an option  but it does give both you and them a break if they aren't there all day.  This is just the beginning.  It does get long and difficult.  I found I could do one or two things as time went on and so Iwould do them when Iwas alone.  Being helpful was good for me and made it more tolerable for those who had to put up w/ me.  I know its difficult.  Try to not let it rile you up too much.  This too, shall pass.   Njoy

[[pe...]]

Laelani- My sister likes to tell me that each day is one day closer to feeling healthy. It's true and it's hard. My husband and sister didn't understand what I was going through for a long time. I found something about benzo withdrawal on Wikipedia and asked them to read it. Once they did they were much more supportive and understood it would be awhile before I felt better. Reading an objective source was easier than hearing it from me. I'm sorry it's hard. I agree with Njoy that it's nice to have some space to feel how you feel. I also understand not wanting to be alone. I walk a lot and go to quiet places when I need time out of the house. Congratulations on starting your taper. You can do this....you already are. 

 

Peace

[[Di...]]

Good to see you again, Jax! 

 

Hope everyone is doing as well as can be expected.

 

[[De...]]

Brian - Glad to see you're doing quite well!  Man, you've come a long way, and congrats on getting below the 1mg mark.  You don't have too much farther to go now, especially considering how far you've come!

 

Laelani - keep in mind that there are other options if the daily taper gets to be too hard.  I liked holding for two weeks because I always felt pretty good in the second week.  It's important that you get those breaks from the sxs, if you can.  I know it's very hard not to be fearful, but you can do this!  Listen to your body and you'll do fine.  You'll figure out what works best for you.    And I fully agree with Peace about sharing literature with your family.  I read parts of the Ashton Manual to my mom, and she went with me to the early doctor's appointments.  No one can fully understand benzo withdrawal unless they've been there, but I do think it helps our loved ones to understand that withdrawal is a recognized medical condition.

 

Peace - glad you're feeling good today!  I would totally take some minor anxiety over being wiped out the way I am right now.  I know what that feels like.  To a normal person, the anxiety would be very distressing, but to us it's a HUGE relief from the normal toil of withdrawal.

 

Me - I'm almost at my two month mark.  I think my ticker will put me there in a few days, but I won't consider it two months until the 24th.  I got my test results in from the doctor yesterday - vitamin D deficiency.  It causes achy bones and muscles and inhibits cognitive function.  It doesn't explain the extreme fatigue... that just falls on my adrenals, which is probably also causing the yellowing patches on my eyes.  But I'm relieved to know it isn't something much worse, like liver damage.  So I guess this is a cautionary tale - if it's been a while since you've had a blood test and routine check up, it may be a good idea to have that done.  You do not want anything else making the withdrawal harder.

 

Large windows to everyone in the days to come,

~D

 

 

[[La...]]

Njoy, Peace. & Dienoncote,

 

Thank you all so much for answering my call for help. I appreciate it so very much.

I will listen & do my best to take your advice & use it to help me with my taper & with those around me who I feel are having a hard time understanding me.

I have shown & read aloud the Wikipedia definition of benzo withdrawal to my husband. I just don't think he really gets it. Even though he witnessed how sick I became during my last taper. I don't know...I mean have a little compassion!!

 

Dienoncote, I see that you water titrated down from 1 mg...& you said you liked holding for a couple of weeks to let your symptoms die down, & that I need to give my body a break from the symptoms if it gets to be too much. Can you tell me how you did this with daily tapering? Did you cut everyday for 2 weeks & then  rest??? Or did you base on when your symptoms hit?

As of right now I'm feeling ok, nothing that's intolerable. But I'm just wondering if it will catch up to me at some point?? Should I just keep going & listen to my body? Is that the best way?

 

Thanks again to everyone for reaching out to me....you all lift me up😊

 

Love,

Laelani

[[Hu...]]

Hey all!

Wanted to update my situation a bit. Been visiting acupuncturist 6 times now in 1 months or so.. No help for pains but maybe some help for mood and anxiety.

My earlier cuts were getting bigger and bigger by percent every time.. and last one was 11.1% and this one would have been 12.5% if I had continued to taper 0.125mg again. I decided not to, because withdrawals were getting worse every time. Now I did only 8% cut. Thanks to my new 0.001 scale I bought.

But week later and I got hit with some nasty symptoms.. I have had this before but never this much. My skin feels sensitive to touch.. it's hard to describe... Not whole body but some areas like left side of face and right hand and 1 finger. It's like Shingles, but it's not.

Thought tapering 8% instead 12.5% would not hit me like this.. guess it does not matter in my case..

 

hpc

[[ja...]]

Thanks, Bri  You support me too. By the way, I was hired to teach on the Upper East Side for about 20 weeks on Saturdays this year. I went into the city for my interview and it was so exhilarating, but I can imagine what it is like for someone tapering, pretty awful.

 

Here's a "don't try this at home" experience I had 2 weeks after jumping. My husband and I went to see the movie Prometheus, in an Imax theater, in 3D. DON'T do this. I don't think I even have to tell you guys how it was for me - talk about overstimulation of sound and sight - godawful.

 

Hey Laelani - you're going to be OK, I promise. It's all about the windows - one day, one will open for you a tiny bit. Eventually half your time will be windows. Then it becomes mostly windows, and the sxs come and go - and one day, you will be OK. When I was recovering from the sxs, I looked at the bright side and saw beauty everywhere that I hadn't seen for 20 years - sensory experiences were amazing. So to everyone, the awesomeness of the world is what you have to look forward to. Promise!

 

So Thursday, I had this amazing experience. Those of you who remember know that I was heartbroken over Hurricane Sandy's shore damage, and the ruins that used to be my favorite beach. Well - I went back there Thursday and everything was new. Brand-spanking-new mini golf course on the boardwalk, soft, soft sand. I set my chair down, ate a sandwich and then went down to the water. And I just "was", if that makes sense. The world was suddenly not about me, but about the infinite horizon and what we made of this shoreline. And my part in it - and I had a part in it. I stood there in the ocean breeze for a long time and it was just exhilarating.

 

Anyway, we're doing stuff on our new place today. Windows for all, and for all - windows! 

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Laelani... I hold 2 wks because it takes at least five days to know what the worst the new cut can do to me.  Then I need time to deal w/ it, enjoy a period of getting better and stronger emotionally, and then I cut new dose.  That's why you see 10 to 14 day cuts among dry cutters alot...especially, but I would guess the reaction to blood levels would be somewhat consistent however you cut.  I'm feeling a lot of anxiety but its not overwhelming and I've been getting out and getting things done, as well as, spending some quality time w/ my daughter and her family yesterday. Great day in the sun among my flower gardens with my children.  One day closer to benzo freedom  Njoy

[[el...]]

Hi All,

 

I haven't been posting much but have been reading.  Deinoncote - thanks for mentioning about the yellow patches on eyes.  I have this and now I know what it's from.

 

I have been having 'slideshows' where pictures flash before my eyes in a rapid series upon waking.  I sleep about an hour or two at a time, have vivid dreams, wake with these slideshows and repeat.  I'm hoping my brain is doing some adjusting (healing?).  Nearly 75% off k and still feeling the same with a few windows here and there.  But, when the windows come it is a great feeling to be like I was many years ago.  This and this alone makes me want to continue the taper, hoping someday I will feel well all the time.  Many here say it is worth it.

 

thank you!

Ellen

[[De...]]

Laelani - I didn't cut daily.  I cut every two weeks, like Njoy.  I know daily cutting is easier for some people, but it's really an individual thing.

 

Not only do we experience windows and waves as individuals, but Klubbers as a group seem to have hard times and easier times.  Ellen, glad to see you're experiencing windows, although you're having a rough time right now.  HPC - I hope you have some easier times very soon.  I think one thing we know for sure is that we will all feel better at times, it's just impossible to know when.

 

I'm cutting way back on my sleep aids and stocking up on vitamin D and I'm starting to feel better.  Ellen, that's interesting that you also have the yellowing eyes.  I was really worried about jaundice, but apparently adrenal issues can cause some skin discoloration.  I've been taking sleep aids for so long, I was unwilling to try not taking any, but I forgot to take them to my boyfriend's last night.  Granted, I didn't sleep at all, but my energy is WAY better today despite not sleeping.  I'm hoping to get a good night's sleep tonight with minimal sleep aids, and hopefully I'll have a good day tomorrow!

 

[[al...]]

Hi.  Just joined BenzoBuddies, so I hope I am posting correctly.  I hope to connect with others who are ahead of me on this road to recovery and have wisdom and experience to share.  Specifically:

 

- Fatigue HUGE for 2 months has stopped my tapering off med.  help.

- Adrenal fatigue diagnosed again.  Finding right dose of Isacort at waking that won't disturb sleep.

- Insomnia rearing it's ugly head more often these days.  Taking lots at bedtime that is not helping anymore: seriphos, destress,

      TrueCalm (Gaba amino acid blend), melatonin 2 stage (increasing)

- Fibromyalgia and benzo w/d

- Amino Acid Therapy with benzo withdrawal -- anyone else using this?  It has been great, but we are stuck now.

- Is there a source for spouse/family living with the person in withdrawal?  My family is going through this with me.

 

Thank you for being there.

 

[[pe...]]

Hi Alice,

Welcome aboard. It sounds like you're working with some great people and having great people on your team can make a world of difference. I'm also working with doctors who are interested in a more 'holistic' approach and that's been good for me. But it doesn't take away how difficult this whole thing is. What do you mean that you've gotten stuck in your amino acid therapy? I have pretty bad fatigue off and on. It's weird, but I think exercise is helping with that. I also avoid sugar and drink a lot of water. My doctor has me on l-tyrosine and I think that's also helping to perk me up a bit. For sleep, I've had good luck with sublingual melatonin to fall asleep and valerian taken at bedtime to stay asleep. I don't know of a specific source for family and friends of people in benzo withdrawal, but it's a good question and maybe one someone else will be able to come along and answer. I sent my husband to see a therapist to make sure he's ok and we hired a babysitter to hang out at our house a few times a week to entertain the kids and give my husband a break. That's been a huge help for us.

 

I think you'll find lots of love and support here.

Peace

 

[[pe...]]

Hello All-

Just doing a little update and looking for a bit of encouragement. I'm doing ok and not ok. I'm doing more ok than I was during my last cut. My depression isn't as severe. I am feeling some depression, easily stressed and some fatigue, and like my whole brain isn't working. I'm going back to work full time (gulp) with little kids (gulp) as a classroom teacher (gulp). I want to be better! I think I will be, but sometimes I want to give up. I don't know what that means exactly, giving up. Like that's a choice...

I'm trying to appreciate the better things about this cut and hope that the discouragement I feel is part of a mini-wave that will fall away in a day or so.

I hope you are all being blessed with windows. Thanks for being there when things feel hard. I know it could be worse.

 

Peace

 

Jax-I loved reading about your experience at the shore. It sounds magical.

[[Sh...]]

Can you guys kick me out of this club? I desperately want out of it so I can get on with my life. Unfortunately, this seems to be a club that is hard to get away from. I'm definately not going to be running for club president.

[[Co...]]

Hi,,,

 

I am finally adjusting to last cut of v that was 2 weeks ago.  Off k-pin 2 months today. Today I begin cut from 1mg in am everyday to every other am w 4/5 dose on off days. Same at night. Have been on 4/5 at night for a few weeks. I am really scared. I have tempered my cuts but want to make progress. I read the posts abt w/d lasting a year after jumping and I feel sick. Tonight I am feeling better but feel nervous abt this last cut and feel like snapping. Work has been really difficult. It is hard to act ok when you feel so stinkin' sick. Tinnitus was really bad last week. Does anyone in K Klub wear hearing aids? I do. Bilateral. The tinnitus gets much worse when I take them out. Elevates to a roar when I have no amplification. Have significant hearing loss from chemo...Cisplatin...2009. Anyone else having problems like this??

 

Thanks....

 

[[lg...]]

Hi, Im from Peru, I am trying to get off clonazepam but I have problems for sleep. My doctor is using mirtazapine but is not working very well and I sleep only a few hours. Unfortunatelly doctors in Peru dont have much experience and knowledge about getting off from benzos. Please help me, what other medications can be used?

[[ho...]]

Hi Klubbers,

 

Welcome Alice! Glad you found us.

 

I want to send out encouragement to one and all on their tapers. 

 

Things have been going pretty good for me since jumping. Yesterday was a harder day than usual for me. Fatigue, nausea, pain. I did have a pretty busy week-end so perhaps I over taxed myself. At this point I have many more good days than bad. When it gets bad I try to just float thru it, reminding myself that it won't last and somehow the days and weeks go by and I'm that much farther down my path.

 

I posted a week or so ago that my brother was having some health issues. I want to go into more detail as some of you are on Beta blockers too. What happened was he had gastric bypass surgery. He came thru it just great, stayed in hosp. for a day and came home. First day home was great, next day he collapsed. Went to hosp. by ambulance, was in A-Fib. The reason being, his surgeon took him off insulin and beta blocker. He was taking the beta blocker and a blood pressure med. for blood pressure control. The heart specialist said," You NEVER take a patient off a beta blocker cold turkey." When my brother asked the bypass surgeon, " Don't you people talk to one another before you make these determinations?", the surgeon said, NO."

 

How bleeping stupid is that?  So my BB Friends on Beta blockers, hopefully you know not to quit them cold turkey.

More stupidity in the medical profession.

 

Wishing you all a wonderful week. As always I pray for all of us, for healing and peace. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

 

Blessings,

hopeful 2013

[Guest [lo...]]

Iglira,

 

welcome to the club! Perhaps you would have better luck with seroquel (quetiapine). It worked wonderfully for me at the beginning (25mg). Then the effects start wearing off, but the first two months or so were the best sleep EVER!

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One thing about Seroquel is that it is a heavy duty drug and from what I understand not an appropriate choice for sleep.  The reason that it helps sleep is that it has strong hystemine action, and I imagine that one can get that effect from taking enough of an antihystemine.  But it has all sorts of other effects from suppressing frontal lobe activity, weight gain, and muscle concerns.  I took it 4 years ago for sleep and could not tolerate it.  Now I have some muscle issues, and wonder if these are from the Seroquel rather than from the long term benzo use.

 

Just because something is not a benzo does not mean that it is a safe choice.

[[De...]]

Hopeful - I was put on a beta blocker to help with the crossover from Xanax to Klonopin and I still take it intermittently if I'm having a really hard time getting to sleep.  Let me tell you... you do not mess around with those medications.  When it comes to your heart and lungs, you want to be very careful.  Even my psychiatrist who prescribed the Inderal and didn't recognize that I was having interdose withdrawals from Xanax knew you don't just quit Inderal unless it's an emergency.  I did quit pretty much cold turkey because I was beginning to have a difficult time breathing on the medication.  C/t was a little unpleasant, but truth be told, I was really glad to be off it.

 

I'm glad to see you're feeling so good!  I'm starting to feel much better as well.  What a relief!  Now I just need to get back in shape. 

 

Iglira - have you looked into naturopathic remedies for sleep?  I take Kavinace and melatonin, in addition to Vistaril, which is a prescription drug that resembles Benedryl.  It can be acquired over the counter in some countries - I don't know if Peru is one of them.  Valerian, GABA, L-theanine and Seriphos are all very helpful.  There's also a supplement that lowers adrenaline and noradrenaline made by the same people who make Kavinace.

 

Alice - I read parts of the Ashton Manual to my family.  It really helped with understanding.  Wikipedia has a decent page on withdrawal syndrome. 

 

I take an herbal supplement called Adrenal Support that has really helped with the adrenal insufficiency.  I did not like Isocort.  Cortisol has a very short half-life, so it was almost impossible to take enough to help me all day.  Then I was even more wiped out at night than usual.  I would go with a slow-release cortisol (prescribed) or one of the supplements.  I'm a vegetarian, but some of them have desiccated glands in them to provide some natural hormone replacement. 

 

If it was me, and I'd postponed my taper for two months and still was not feeling better, I would proceed anyway.  Whether your adrenal glands burned out because of withdrawal, or your control center, the hypothalamus and pituitary glands, is under-active because of withdrawal is impossible to say.  Either way, you may be someone who benefits from being off the drug.  Benzos suppress your adrenal control center, and therefor your adrenals.

 

Colorado Chick - DON'T READ THE HORROR STORIES!!!!  They scared me so much in the beginning, I had to stay away from perusing this site.  I had some secondary health issues as a result of being sedentary and having a difficult time taking care of myself for so long - but I'm just short of two months off and I'm feeling REALLY good.  A little better each day, actually.  And had I not had secondary issues to the withdrawal, I think I would have been 100% a while ago.  Just make sure you can handle each cut and you're holding the right amount of time and jumping won't feel much different from cutting.  I didn't really notice a difference.

 

Large windows for everyone!!!

 

:smitten:

[[De...]]

And I agree with Barn about Seroquel.  I was on it for 8 years, which was far too long.  Although I thought it was a miracle drug at first.  I can't be sure it was part of the problem, but I'm pretty sure that in combination with some other drugs it damaged my thyroid and my liver.  It's primarily an antipsychotic and should only be used as such.

[Guest [lo...]]

guys, I am not in any case promoting Seroquel. I don't like to take it either, even in small doses.

 

However, I know first hand that if you can't sleep for several days you are willing to take WHATEVER it takes, just to be able to fall asleep. Never in my life I had been more desperate for sleep than last Feb. Seroquel was a life savior.

 

Iglira has tried Mirtazapine. That's heavy duty too. If that is not helping her, I doubt benadryl or atarax or some OTC stuff will. Of course, I say: give them a try. But if your insomnia doesn't go away, seroquel is an option that was given to me and it did what it was supposed to: it gave me a long and restful sleep when I was soooo tired and desperate I wished I could just die.

[[De...]]

Loquita - I know what you mean.  The insomnia was what brought me to Klonopin in the first place.  I would have taken anything.  I'd already tried most of the "heavy duty" sleep aids, such as Ambien, Trazadone and Lunesta.  However, I wish someone had presented me with other options as well as the risks involved at the time.  Knowing what I know now, I would not have put any of those poisons in my body.  Throughout my entire withdrawal I took Serophos, Kavinace, melatonin and Vistaril to sleep.  I had very few sleepless nights over the past year.  I'm now down to a half dose of Kavinace, 50mg Vistaril and 3mg melatonin.  I wouldn't discount the potential of herbal and OTC sleep aids.  Taken in combination, and even individually they can be very effective.  I hope to be off Kavinace and Vistaril very soon.  Even though considered to be "mild" drugs, they too have negative long term effects and the potential for dependence. 

[[fi...]]

Loquita - I know what you mean.  The insomnia was what brought me to Klonopin in the first place.  I would have taken anything.  I'd already tried most of the "heavy duty" sleep aids, such as Ambien, Trazadone and Lunesta.  However, I wish someone had presented me with other options as well as the risks involved at the time.  Knowing what I know now, I would not have put any of those poisons in my body.  Throughout my entire withdrawal I took Serophos, Kavinace, melatonin and Vistaril to sleep.  I had very few sleepless nights over the past year.  I'm now down to a half dose of Kavinace, 50mg Vistaril and 3mg melatonin.  I wouldn't discount the potential of herbal and OTC sleep aids.  Taken in combination, and even individually they can be very effective.  I hope to be off Kavinace and Vistaril very soon.  Even though considered to be "mild" drugs, they too have negative long term effects and the potential for dependence.

 

What is Kavinace?

[Guest [lo...]]

It drew my attention too . I looked it up and it is an amino acid supplement manufactured by NeuroScience. It supports GABA. There are many positive users reviews. Unfortunately not available in Chile.