The Klonopin Klub

[[ja...]]

Jump, Terra, JUMP! 

[[Ju...]]

Here to celebrate being at 5 mg V= 0.25 mg K!

 

Unfortunately I have started feeling the chemical anxiety others have mentioned in the last couple of days. Going to hold in place until this wave crashes over me.

 

I have been reading a book on mindfulness and Buddhist philosophy. Interesting idea that I feel I can grasp the edge of but then it slips through my fingers: suffering is just a sensation until you add a story to it. For example "I didnt sleep well" is just a fact but when it becomes "I will always feel this way" or "it is my fault I am taking medication" then it becomes suffering. Trying to disconnect the experience from the story is a lifetime of work.

 

Mogeii good luck to you with your big meeting. I understand why that is a big milestone.

 

Jump Terra, then stay here and tell us how great you are feeling!

[[ho...]]

Hi Everyone,

 

WOW, I was out of town for 5 days and came back to pages of posts here. It's great to see all the interaction but impossible for me to comment individually at this point.

 

I was in northern Minnesota at the family lake home. I attended Moondance Jam. My favorite performer was Johnny Rivers. The days were filled with floating on the lake, trying to keep cool. It was soooo hot and humid. The evenings were filled with music at the event.

 

Today I feel wore out. The combination of more activity than I've been involved in, in 7 months, plus the extremely hot weather took a  toll on me. On the bright site, I feel the added activity was a perfect distraction and tool to push myself. I had a great time! The nice thing was there was no pressure to do anything I didn't feel I could handle. So I didn't "push myself" beyond what I was comfortable with. Just a little bit. It was worth it. I was with a group of 5 other women who were 

very supportive of my situation.   

 

It's been 3 weeks now since I jumped. I experience GI issues and pain in the morning. Evenings are very good. I try not to think about how long this withdrawal will last. I try to be accepting of what will be, will be. I'm not always successful. Reading here helps alot with that. I'm doing very well considering where I have been and I keep reminding myself of that. Another thing I do is play the RATHER GAME in my mind. I think to myself...I would RATHER be going thru this than, getting up each morning and driving to a hospital to sit with my granddaughter while she is being treated for some dreaded illness, ect... I know it sounds terrible but mentally what it does for me is it keeps me from focusing on my stuff and reminding me that there are people out there who are dealing with things that are worse than my situation.

 

I'm so happy for those who have jumped and those who are inches away from jumping. I'm happy too for those who have made the decision to get off the drugs and be free. To everyone, I wish you windows and relief. You are all, always in my prayers. Keep the faith, we WILL survive this and come out better.

 

hopeful2013

 

[[je...]]

Hello,

 

Is there anyone out there who was originally prescribed klonopin for chronic vertigo/imbalance or vestibular migraines?  It's not a typical use of klonopin but it worked for me.  That's what I was given it for 7 yrs. ago and now that I'm taking a chance tapering off, I'm having a terrible time telling if what I'm feeling is withdrawal or my old vertigo symptoms coming back.  Any feedback would be appreciated!

[[Ju...]]

More musings from the pit of despair....

... what if it was ok that I am sick? What if I didnt fight it but could just completely accept that this is how it is for now?

 

I like the RATHER GAME better than IF ONLY. I'd rather be going through this than continuing to take klonopin and not understanding why I wasnt feeling good.

 

Hi Jennifer38- I cant help you on that topic, just wanted to say welcome and I hope you feel better soon.

[[Br...]]

Just a quick hello!  I'm tapering off Kpin and reading everyone's posts over the years has been extremely helpful.  Withdrawal symptoms are OK, except toothpain/mouth problems which are driving me batty.  Hopefully I can get it under control with pain relievers and aggressive hygiene / dry mouth treatment / fluoride, etc.  Wanting this to be OVER WITH, but have to go slow or else I'll have a freakout (CT quit a few months ago was awful). 

 

 

[[pa...]]

how many of you are functional and not functional?

did anyone get their sleep yet?

does anyone still have problem with brain functionability? (brain has been fried from the beginning and still is after 102 days of damn poison)

will not mention the physical symptoms. sigh.

[[De...]]

PO - sometimes I'm functional and sometimes I'm not.  I try not to worry about it when I'm not.  There's nothing I can do about it except push myself to get as much done as possible when I'm feeling well.

 

I sleep an inordinate amount.  Sometimes 13 or 14 hours a day.  I don't have a choice in the matter.  If the drowsiness hits me, it hits me.  Can't fight it.

 

I still have bad brain fog, but I had a 100% window on Saturday, so I know it will pass with time.  I'm actually getting some work done again and that feels really good.  It will happen for you too. 

[[pa...]]

PO - sometimes I'm functional and sometimes I'm not.  I try not to worry about it when I'm not.  There's nothing I can do about it except push myself to get as much done as possible when I'm feeling well.

 

I sleep an inordinate amount.  Sometimes 13 or 14 hours a day.  I don't have a choice in the matter.  If the drowsiness hits me, it hits me.  Can't fight it.

 

I still have bad brain fog, but I had a 100% window on Saturday, so I know it will pass with time.  I'm actually getting some work done again and that feels really good.  It will happen for you too. 

 

you are making me jealous so much. but, so happy for you.

have not experienced functional day yet. had moments of peace only.

just made a wish list of sleeping 12 hours a day. and, you are doing 13 or 14 hours? sigh. i know that it's pleasant to sleep that long, but it sure is dream come true for my current condition.

congratualtions on your 100% window. sure like to know what that feels soon.

take care my friend.

[[...]]

I had such an awful time trying to sleep for so many months, but it seems to have passed... I force myself to go to bed and try every night at the same time and it seems to be working... went from 1-3 hours a night to 6-8.  I'm the same same way, Dienocote ]I'm functional when I'm functional, but I just rest when I'm not.  Does anybody have any experience w/ dry eyes... mine are about to undo me... I'm putting drops in every 20 minutes or so... no redness... so its hard to think its conjuntivitis, but they just burn...any remedies would be appreciated.  Another day closer to benzo freedom

[[gr...]]

Hi!  I am 5 weeks off klonopin today!  The last few days have not been so great!  The anxiety is worse and the fatigue is yuk.  I guess I just need some support to "just keep swimming" and someone to tell me that this will pass!!!  Many of the symptoms that I experienced during my tapper have gone or are better, which gives me hope that the rest of these symptoms - anxiety, bad sleep, apathy, - will continue to get better!  I guess maybe I'm just wanting a window day.

Grannyfed

[[je...]]

Wow!  18 years!  Your courage is amazing...    ...just to want off and to DO IT. 

 

You are one of my heroes here.  I'm a lightweight, still trimming off of only 1.3mg

at about 5 or 10 percent every several weeks. 

 

I'm sure your symptoms will ebb and vanish.. I'm hoping you're in a talk therapy

with an impartial person so you can just express it all and learn coping skills. 

 

Thank you for sharing that and adding to my hope! 

 

- Jerry

[[gr...]]

Hi Jerry..... thanks for your support.... it feels like I have been at this forever!  This is my second attempt, I was totally off for three weeks with my first attempt and ended up at a treatment center for addictions.  Guess what, they put me back on klonopin and said I should plan on staying on it for the rest of my life.  I felt great for about 2 months and then all the old symptoms started up again.  That's when I knew for sure that I was addicted and that I needed to get off of this stuff.  So, I have been on this journey for almost three years.  I have a wonderfully supportive husband that is standing by my side every day, however, I know that it is very trying for him also.  My children (32,30,28) are all supportive also, even though there are days when I'm sure they just get sick of hearing about it and seeing me feeling crappy!  My grandchildren are what distract me the most. I'm the one that is getting so tired of not feeling well...... feeling like a different person than I know I am, never feeling like doing anything, and afraid to plan anything cause you never know how your going to feel.  I know that some healing has taken place....but there is so much more to take place.  If it wasn't for my family and my faith that God has a plan for my life, a bigger and better plan, this journey would be so much harder.

Thanks again for your encouraging words.

grannyfed

[[je...]]

...afraid to plan anything cause you never know how your going to feel. 

 

That phrase jumped out at me because it touches on the one thing that is healing me more than

anything else:  making a plan and following through all the way on the plan no matter how I

THINK I'm going to feel as the plan is carried out. 

 

I found that out!  Just do it.  Live your life in the way that you say you want to live it.    The feelings

gradually get replaced by the oldest part of our brain;  that part that loves life.  It is very gradual

and you have to do it every time.. every day.  Make the plan ... we do it with our grandkids at

our pool parties.. it always causes me dread to think about it.. but then we get going and the

fun is back there waiting to come out.. it comes and goes.. but it lasts longer each time it seems.

 

I have a way to go on tapering.. but I'll never let go of that, the part of me that wants to live and

have fun. 

 

- Jerry

[[Co...]]

Hi...I have been on BB for about 3 weeks. I was on Klonopin for 22 years. I have been in w/d for 8 months. I had no clue what was going to happen but have learned a lot from this site. I have been off k for 5 weeks and am really sick. Jitters, insomnia, numb face, cold feet, horrible smell coming off my skin that no one else can smell, fishbowl vision, OCD, irritable, messed up sense of taste. I was put on valium 2 mg 3 x a day and was doing well. I got off the k. I started cutting the valium as I was afraid I would become dependent on it. Big mistake. I am really sick after cutting it too quickly. I feel if I take a rescue dose that I am screwing up. I have read until my eyes hurt but I have a better idea off how to cut the v. I thought I would be ok once I was off the klonopin. Wrong. I wish I had come to this site sooner.

 

Laurie

[[Ju...]]

Colorado chick- I switched from k to v and I am glad I did. You will be ok. Valium takes longer to build up in your body than klonopin leaves it, an if you had a cold turkey on top of that you have some recovering to do. What was your previous dose of klonopin? 6 mg V is approximately equal to 0.3 mg klonopin so if you were taking more than that you might need to level out at a higher dose of Valium. The good news is all of your symptoms are very withdrawal related, so hang in there and things will get better soon.

[[Br...]]

So I've been prowling the forums and have a few questions for the Klonopin Klub.

 

1)  Is it me or is Klonopin the worst benzo?  I see most people on BB struggling long-term seem to be struggling because of Kpin.  In light of that...

 

2)  Should I try to switch to another benzo and taper off that?  I've only been taking Klonopin for a year or so, and switched from Ativan with no problems.  Would switching to Valium be a better idea?  I realize withdrawal is going to be a process, but I'd prefer to withdraw from an easier drug if that's possible.

 

3)  What helps sleeplessness?  What should I try?  Melatonin, hydroxyzine, sleeping pills? 

 

4)  What helps nerve pain?  (I have incredible tooth pain that will not abate, and it is the ONE symptom that is driving me nuts.)  Does Gabapentin help, and if so, what dosage/schedule should I take?

 

5)  I'm taking Actavis (pink) Klonopin and it doesn't dissolve well in water.  I'm going to titrate from here on out, will milk dissolve work better on this brand, or should I switch brands (assuming I don't just jump to valium).

 

Thanks for any input!  Sorry for all the questions.

[[Co...]]

Just keep swimming,

 

I was on 1mg 2x a day. After tapering for 8 months I was titrating at 1/12 of a mg. I started v. the day I stopped k-pin. That was 5 weeks ago. I was so scared abt a second benzo that I started cutting it too much. I KNOW better but still tried. In all this time I have only taken 1 rescue dose. Last night. I took 1 mg of v. to sleep. I was a mess. I still am but a bit more level. I have been told on this site that 1 mg of k-pin = 20 mg of v. I was also told that day 8 after a cut is the worst. To the minute...this is what happened to me. I know I will get through this. I work every day and it actually helps a lot. If I was home I would be concentrating on how lousy I feel. I still feel really bad but I am busy and find I am better off.

Thanks for your reply. As you know, it really helps to have people that get it nearby.

Any more advice?

Thanks,

 

Laurie

[[Mi...]]

Hey guys!

 

Yesterday was my first day trying Buspar during my K taper and it went pretty well but it's almost 3am here in Seattle now and I am still up. : ( I am down to .50 mg of K a day now and planning a cut soon. I am feeling so scared because my fiance and I have a trip planned for CA in a month and my school starts in 1.5 months and I feel if I don't have this under control we cannot go on our trip and most importantly, I won't be able to sit through classes as my anxiety/panic causes me to flee situations. I am really scared. That's why I decided to TRY Buspar but we will see.

[[ha...]]

Luci,

 

I m 4 1/2 months off Klonopin. I had all the symptoms. I have no faith in Dr's anymore so I got myself to a Homeopath. She did many tests and a few things have really helped.

 

I found out my adrenal glands were burned out. I take a supplement for that. Helps with the fatigue and stress. Also, Magnesium. She tells me off all supplements Magnesium if one of the most important. There are over 300 things happening in our body that need magnesium and most people are deficient. Definitely helps with muscle aches.

 

Eating well is very important. But one thing at a time.

 

I still have symptoms but I am better!

 

Hope this helps!!

 

 

 

 

[[...]]

Jax always thinks I'm such a sage but I gladly pass the torch to you Jerrycarl  It "is" very gradual but profoundly effective to plan and execute.  I remember when my plan was just to write down... brush teeth, comb hair...  I was so undone at that point... but I'd write them down and now these few months later, I can feed myself, sanitation is back to its fundamental place in my life, I get out... my lists and plans are a little more intricate but they include, "eat," get groceries."  I do make a point of only pushing myself so far on any given day and I still have days when i can barely make it from the bedroom or I'm running back here to feel enough safety to confront my very simple, meager life, but the progress is obvious.  A month ago I was thinking I would never get over the d/p and d/r.  The states of consciousness wern't as scary as the thought that I would never escape that mindset, but it has passed.   Brown bear lover I think its hard to know if K is the worst... you'd think it on the boards... its pretty bad... i can say that from experience but a lot of people are c/o to it from x and A, especially, so who knows... I don't think its the kind of thing we really want to compare ...they are all too frightening to be such a common part of the pharmacological answer to problems people are trying to resolve.  Learning how to deal w/ anxiety and the inability to cope w/ the stress it creates w/o K has, singularly, been my most persistent goal.  Years of prayer and meditation have been profoundly effective but this experience has tested them in ways I don't remember other pain and illness touching.  To that extent, it has been a positive thing... I'm learning so much about my self and having to resolve some long and deep seeded neuroses just to endure the pain... the day.  I have heard that Valium makes a nice c/o.  I'm using Neurotin (Gabapentin) myself.  I think from what I've read on here... that it has helped... its seems I'm more resilient to certain things than others but then ... I'm older and may just have better coping skills.  it may just be a false perception... its hard for me to tell these days... but, anyway... I, as well, have benefited from Magnesium.  I found Celebrex to be quite effective against it as well but alot of people have a difficult time w/ it and the Magnesium has been such a great surprise... it helps w/ pain and insomnia.  I think the old "Doan's Back Pills" from my childhood was pretty much just Magnesium and I can remember them being quite effective.  My grandmother lived on them.  So, MissJ if your fiance can be supportive of how "fragile" you are... I would encourage you to take your trip... just don't push too much on any given day and I think that will help prepare you for school.  One goal at a time.  Have a "windowful" day everyone. 

[[gr...]]

Hi everyone!  I'm going to try and "talk" to you guys since you all understand how this journey is!  I'm 5 weeks off  Klonopin and feeling the effects the last week!  My withdrawal was HARD, but things were looking up at the end, however, now I feel like I am going backwards!  The anxiety is worse and the not sleeping is making me very weary.  I'm so tired....... tired physically and mentally!  I try and tell myself that "it will get better" but boy, on days like this I have a hard time believing it! 

grannyfed

[[...]]

granyfed... do try the Magnesium... it helps....also Melatonin will help you sleep and I'd expect anything that helped you deal w/ sx during w/d will help now.  You know how to get through waves... this will pass

[[Ju...]]

Coming out from under that wave feels so good. When I am in a wave I tell myself I want to use the good times to prepare for the next one, but when things are good all I want to do is be NORMAL. For everyone looking for sleep help... here's my take: pills just teach you that you cant sleep on your own. I save melatonin for emergencies, like three days of bad sleep and I need to work or take care of my kids the next day. Then it works really well. But I have been trying to use mindfulness and breathing exercises as much as I can. It helps to practice during the day when you arent worried about falling asleep. When my mind is racing it is hard to focus on the breath but I almost yell at myself "I know it is hard, but you are going to do this now" and keep trying and 80% of the time I sleep. Meditation is something you can have always and you just get better the more you use it. Try searching mindfulness meditation on you tube. Jon Kabat Zinn is a good teacher/author to look for.

 

Brownbear the biggest difference between each benzo is how long they stay in your body. I've used this analogy before- the longer half life benzos (valium and to some extent klonopin) give you a parachute to help you float down the stairs as you decrease your dose, ativan is like riding a bike down stairs with no parachute. If you are doing ok with a klonopin taper, stick with it. There are always unknowns when you switch and you will have to give it more time to adjust to the new med. If you really run into trouble (which is a different point for each of us) you can ask your doctor about switching to valium.

 

Colorado Chick you sound really well informed. I tell myself a lot that the point of the valium isnt to make withdrawal easy, it is to make it manageable. As long as I watch my expectations, things are bearable. Dont beat yourself up for taking a rescue dose. We all need to sleep. However, talk to your doctor about increasing your valium dose if you find it happens again. Better to level out at a dose then do a slow and steady decrease than keep your brain bouncing around like a ping pong ball 

 

Take care everyone.

[[Ju...]]

Oh, one more thing Colorado- I can so relate to the feeling of wanting to be off and rush the taper. But it isnt worth it. I am saying this to remind myself also. When you want to rush, just come read some success stories instead and know that you will get there too.