The Klonopin Klub

[[La...]]

Hello everyone,

 

Well I'll be starting my taper a week from Monday. And I can tell you I'm scared. After going through such a rough time with my failed Ativan taper.....I'm down right terrified at what to expect from this taper. My new. Doc is great.... He has a lot of experience with benzo withdrawal & tapers. He suggested I start 5 mg of lexapro to help calm my fears going into this. I haven't taken it yet. Dont know if i should.....he said its helped a lot of his patients with fear.

Unfortunately I'm on remeron right now too.....went on it to get better after the old taper. Now I'm worried about having to taper 2 things.....& I've read remeron is hard to get off of too.

I keep reading these horror stories about coming go klonopin & how severe the symptoms are.

Do you find this to be true? I had the option of switching to Valium but I chose not to because I had just made the switch to klonopin. I want off the benzo so bad, but I'm truly scared.

If anyone can give me any advice or encouraging words I'd really appreciate it.

As I've heard the physical symptoms are excruciating as well as the psychological.

Maybe these are just the bad stories but just wondering if there's any truth in them.

 

Looking forward to hearing back from any or all of you soon,

Thank you so much,

Laelani

[[Mi...]]

Jax always thinks I'm such a sage but I gladly pass the torch to you Jerrycarl  It "is" very gradual but profoundly effective to plan and execute.  I remember when my plan was just to write down... brush teeth, comb hair...  I was so undone at that point... but I'd write them down and now these few months later, I can feed myself, sanitation is back to its fundamental place in my life, I get out... my lists and plans are a little more intricate but they include, "eat," get groceries."  I do make a point of only pushing myself so far on any given day and I still have days when i can barely make it from the bedroom or I'm running back here to feel enough safety to confront my very simple, meager life, but the progress is obvious.  A month ago I was thinking I would never get over the d/p and d/r.  The states of consciousness wern't as scary as the thought that I would never escape that mindset, but it has passed.   Brown bear lover I think its hard to know if K is the worst... you'd think it on the boards... its pretty bad... i can say that from experience but a lot of people are c/o to it from x and A, especially, so who knows... I don't think its the kind of thing we really want to compare ...they are all too frightening to be such a common part of the pharmacological answer to problems people are trying to resolve.  Learning how to deal w/ anxiety and the inability to cope w/ the stress it creates w/o K has, singularly, been my most persistent goal.  Years of prayer and meditation have been profoundly effective but this experience has tested them in ways I don't remember other pain and illness touching.  To that extent, it has been a positive thing... I'm learning so much about my self and having to resolve some long and deep seeded neuroses just to endure the pain... the day.  I have heard that Valium makes a nice c/o.  I'm using Neurotin (Gabapentin) myself.  I think from what I've read on here... that it has helped... its seems I'm more resilient to certain things than others but then ... I'm older and may just have better coping skills.  it may just be a false perception... its hard for me to tell these days... but, anyway... I, as well, have benefited from Magnesium.  I found Celebrex to be quite effective against it as well but alot of people have a difficult time w/ it and the Magnesium has been such a great surprise... it helps w/ pain and insomnia.  I think the old "Doan's Back Pills" from my childhood was pretty much just Magnesium and I can remember them being quite effective.  My grandmother lived on them.  So, MissJ if your fiance can be supportive of how "fragile" you are... I would encourage you to take your trip... just don't push too much on any given day and I think that will help prepare you for school.  One goal at a time.  Have a "windowful" day everyone.

 

Thanks, Njoy. That's a perspective I didn't even think to look at and I believe you're right. I'm going to give it a try!

[[Mi...]]

Hey Grannyfed! I feel you! The first month and a half of my Klonopin taper were the worse and though it FEELS bad now, it's nothing like it was before! Hang in there! Melotonin, exercise, staying away from caffeine, and healthy eating have helped me with insomnia though it seems to be an every other night ordeal!

[[gr...]]

Thanks everyone for you support and encouraging words.  I KNOW that I will feel better..... it's just so hard after you have had a window for awhile to go back to feeling so crappy!!  I will keep pushing forward...5 weeks down...... that in it's self is an accomplishment.... and if I can pull off this BBQ tonight I will have accomplished another big day!  The thought just went through my head.. "I really am a strong person if I can feel so yuk and still have people for a BBQ". 

Thanks again!

Have a good evening everyone....since evenings seem to be the best for a lot of us!

Grannyfed

[[be...]]

Im new to this thread.

 

Ive been on 1 mg K for many months.

 

I somehow I think from low carb got

Comfortable on only 0.5 mg K.

Today and yesterday Ive only taken 0.25

I "HOPE" i can be ok on this dose and make

it my regular dose just like 0.5 was.

 

I moved so only have 20 pills left so

I gotta get off this anyways!! )

Bless

[[Co...]]

Thanks justkeepswimming. I do tend to beat myself up over this. I have come to realize with the help of everyone on benzo buddies that I am doing this too fast. I was so sick today. I am going to hold steady at 1 mg valium in am and 1 mg in pm for a few more weeks. The w/d from k-pin has been far worse at the end than at the beginning. I feel like it is giving me a final slap in the face before bidding me goodbye. I will tell you that my fear is gone. When I read what everyone else is going through I realize that this is just the nature of benzo w/d.  B/c I was so paranoid I felt like I was going to have a stroke. Then I just got more informed and see so much misery out there with others that I know that there will be an end to this. I am trying to help others also. I was so happy that I finally got off the k-pin. I thought it would be over pretty quickly. I have the help of Dr's and I can tell you that they do not know that much abt this. I was told that it was really rare what I was going through. That scared me. Then I came here and starting reading. I went back to the Dr. and told them that it was not rare but rather something that was very common. Go figure. Thanks for taking the time to respond. it means the world to me. 

[[gr...]]

Hi everyone!  This journey is just so weird!  How can you feel so crappy one day and wake up the next feeling half way human!  I made it through the BBQ and the baked beans even tasted good .  I really didn't think I could get through yesterday but I did and this morning I feel better..... at least my head feels attached this morning and the anxiety has let up!  Thank you everyone for talking me through and helping me wait out until that next window arrived.  How long it will last is the question.....but for today I'm going to go with it and enjoy it! 

grannyfed

[[ho...]]

Hi K Klub,

 

This morning after reading some here on the forum I am struck by the outpouring of caring, encouragement and love that is given here. You are ALL wonderfully giving people. It's a shame that our entire life experience is not a reflection of BenzoBuddies quality relationships.

 

When I read of the struggles that some are having, it breaks my heart. I hope you will all hang on, hang in there. I got alot of encouragement here, being reassured that the sx will ease up and in time go away. I have experienced the easing up part, now I am trying to patiently wait for the going away part. Some sx have gone away, not all.

For me the physical sx certainly do suck, but the mental sx are the hardest. It is very hard to stop thinking negatively and compulsively. My most difficult sx was fear. I couldn't control it or talk myself out of it. I just had to wait for my brain to heal itself. BB  helped me to understand that I wasn't nuts and it was a great comfort to be told it would go away in time.

I've been forced to gain a level of patience that I never would have, if it weren't for this K experience.

 

I am seeing that good can come out of this mess. I found out that I am stronger than I thought I was. I have become more patient with others and myself. I have learned to walk more closely with the God of my understanding. I have learned that it is OK to ask for help, to say... " right now I can't. " I've learned to love myself more.

 

There is light at the end of the tunnel. There is hope and there is freedom from K bondage. Be patient with yourselves Buddies, be gentle and kind to yourselves

 

Wide Open Windows of Peace to All,   

hopeful2013.

[[La...]]

Hi K Klub,

 

This morning after reading some here on the forum I am struck by the outpouring of caring, encouragement and love that is given here. You are ALL wonderfully giving people. It's a shame that our entire life experience is not a reflection of BenzoBuddies quality relationships.

 

When I read of the struggles that some are having, it breaks my heart. I hope you will all hang on, hang in there. I got alot of encouragement here, being reassured that the sx will ease up and in time go away. I have experienced the easing up part, now I am trying to patiently wait for the going away part. Some sx have gone away, not all.

For me the physical sx certainly do suck, but the mental sx are the hardest. It is very hard to stop thinking negatively and compulsively. My most difficult sx was fear. I couldn't control it or talk myself out of it. I just had to wait for my brain to heal itself. BB  helped me to understand that I wasn't nuts and it was a great comfort to be told it would go away in time.

I've been forced to gain a level of patience that I never would have, if it weren't for this K experience.

 

I am seeing that good can come out of this mess. I found out that I am stronger than I thought I was. I have become more patient with others and myself. I have learned to walk more closely with the God of my understanding. I have learned that it is OK to ask for help, to say... " right now I can't. " I've learned to love myself more.

 

There is light at the end of the tunnel. There is hope and there is freedom from K bondage. Be patient with yourselves Buddies, be gentle and kind to yourselves

 

Wide Open Windows of Peace to All,   

hopeful2013

 

 

 

Hopeful,

 

Thank you oh so much for your words of love, experience & comfort. It really helps to know that we have a strong support system at our finger tips. As I've written in an earlier post, I will be starting my k taper a week from Monday. I hope that I can always come on hear & reach & reach out in my greatest times of need. I will need you all to help get me through this.

I'm definitely trying to look fear in the face & fight it down. It's hard, but I know I must accept this taper & whatever may come with it. I know acceptance is key.

So with that being said, I'm sure you'll be hearing a lot from me in the upcoming weeks.

Hope to always here back from a friendly, loving voice:)

 

Thank you so much,

Laelani

[[ad...]]

I have been having a bad week so far.  The w/d has been doing a number on my intestinal track, keeping me awake with what I can only assume is IBS.  My sleep has been erratic this week as well.  17 hours on Tuesday, three hours on Wednesday.  Much of the anxiety that I did not have before has returned, but the bright side it, it's situational.  I'm learning not to ignore it and do deep analysis of the cause in hope of not repeating the same behavior.  I used to go to a lot more AA meetings in the past, but I took a month off to spend more time at home with my wife.  After going back again, I don't know what to do, since I feel pretty conflicted about the whole use of self will.  I havn't had a drink in about five months, and honestly, I don't miss it that much.  I get a little reminicent when I walk past the liquor isle, but I have to remind myself that it lead to me being on K in the first place. 

 

One of my favorite quotes is "People are going to judge you anyway, so you might as well do what you want."  That goes far into breaking the belief that at my core, i am a bad person or something.  I know I'm not, but there's plenty of others around that try to remind me that I'm not doing things their way.  With that said, I'm going to get a giant spider tattoo on my face.

 

[[ne...]]

Hello everyone,

I was directed here in the first message I received. I suffered severe panic during my pregnancy and went 6 days without sleep and was hospitalized. I was put on ativan and remained on it the rest of my pregnancy even though it scared the heck out of me. My son was born in April and is beautiful and perfect. However, in the hospital they placed me on 2 mg klonopin and 100 mg trazodone to sleep as well as Zoloft which I am now switching to Effexor 75 mgs.

 

My sleep is not great even with the 2mgs klnopin and the traz. I feel like I am in an inch deep sleep all night and am exhausted all the time. I know it is the klonopin and I want off!! I know insomnia may be an issue but I can't be on this forever and it doesn't really seem to be helping anymore. I have very little support from my doctors who say I need this medicine. I currently have the 2mg tabs which makes it nearly impossible to taper.  I am going to demand to be given lower dosage tabs so that I can start to taper. However, my husband and I are moving across the country in a couple of weeks and I don't know if I should wait to taper until we are moved or just go ahead once I have the lower dosage tablets. Any advice would be appreciated. How to taper, what to expect, how to get through. Thanks

[[Ju...]]

Oh newmama I feel for you! My benzo journey started with postpartum anxiety. At this point I feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and so will you. Do you know why your doctor switched you from Ativan to all those other meds? If he/she can't give you a good answer then try to find a doctor who can. Probably after your big move. I hope you will have some family supprt where you are moving. The simple answers to your questions are 0.125 mg decreases every two weeks is a good starting taper for klonopin so you are right that you will need smaller tabs. 0.5 mg are easy to get and you can cut them in quarters to make 0.125 mg pieces. As for how to get through- one day at a time. Love your baby and know that this too will pass. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk more details.

[[be...]]

Newmomma424

 

I would highly think the stress of

Going across country is affecting

your sleep. Id just wait until

Youve settled.

 

G'luck

[[...]]

thanks for the kind words, MissJ.  Wish me luck, anyone... today my grandkids are coming to spend the night w/ me... the first time alone w/ them since I started to taper.  I'm excited...I've done some good prepping for their visit so I think we can just have fun.  My sweetie has been taking such good care of me that I think I can finally handle some stress on my own and if not, he's a phone call away but, hopefully, he'll get some nice down time.  He would have loved for us all to stay there on the farm but I know he needed a break and my grandson, god bless his little soul, can't be around the animals w/o dangerous asthma attacks... the thought of having to take him to the hospital kept me from trying to care for them by myself for several months ...  its been a good week... I need to post my transition dose... cut to .019 (pill weight) 3x/dy yesterday and will do that for five days before cutting the other 5% for the remainder of the 2 wk period.  I've been feeling so good... I've so wanted to cut after 10 days but things are going so good... I just remember to "practice patience" and I feel good enough to spend time w/ these 2 little people that I love so much.  A welcome break for their parents.  And, its good to be home.  My neighbors that put the dog run in the front yard which is really my front yard... they moved it.  Those dogs don't bark every time I try to get my mail or walk out the front door.  What a relief!  I found lactaid ice cream let the wknd begin   For all those struggling or "waiting"... I gotta say... don't wait.. just stay in whatever moment you are in and those moments will pass like drops of water in a bucket.  I laugh about it but it was a big moment when I said, "I'm not going to wait for this to be over anymore... I'm just going to take it one moment at a time and 'practice' patience."  That fear will will really get to you and I suppose its a damaged CNS's way of protecting us... it needs so much help and support to recover.  Headaches are my most persistent sx these days.  They can get quite severe but otc stuff does help and they force me to stay calm and to avoid situations that are too stressful...for so long...any stress undid me but now, I can have days of "good" stress.. fun stuff... and,absolutely, benzo buddies, next to those who are still speaking to us... are the best!!!

[[De...]]

It makes me mad how crappy doctors are.  They throw meds at you without understanding what your core issue is, and they don't fully understand the medications they prescribe.  We should all boycott western medicine.  Or at least western medicines.

 

newmamma - I would wait until you're moved and settled in to begin your taper.  If you suffer acute withdrawal (and it this point, it sounds like that's not a given?), combining that with the stress of moving will not be pleasant.  BUT... if you have withdrawal sxs, a difficult withdrawal is not a given. 

 

All Newbies - They recommend cutting your dose by 5 to 10% every 10 to 14 days.  I think this is good advice.  I went even smaller with my first cuts and found I could cut by volume instead of percentage at the end.  I think it's good to start slow.  Approach it as though backtracking (up-dosing) is not an option and you'll do fine. 

 

jerry - you said something about planning things even when you don't know how you'll feel.  I've done this, but had to cancel a lot of things like camping trips, softball games, parties, going out... it was nice if I planned something and could follow through, but my friends and family also understand that I'm struggling.

 

njoy - I think there's a little bit of sage in all of us.    How many people have glimpsed the gates of hell through the darkest tunnels of the mind like we have?  I was thinking the other day about how I didn't used to understand how POWs could just give up and die.  Who would just give up when there was still a chance at life?  I now deeply and profoundly understand the complete and utter loss of hope that could cause one to give up on life.  Being on the other side of it... beginning to come out the withdrawal completely... I'm a more compassionate person, more tolerant and less judgmental.  If I could go back in time, I would slap the Klonopin out of my hand before I could take it.  But I'm also happy with the person I am today.

 

adamadaman - hooray for new tattoos!  I've been thinking about getting a new one to celebrate being benzo free.  I'll be finishing my first manuscript soon, too.  I think I'll get something to celebrate the two milestones.  Only the opinions of compassionate, open-minded people matter - don't let petty judgements get to you.    My sleep has been crazy erratic as well.  14 hours one night and then 4 hours the next. 

 

Someone asked about hydroxizine - I can't scroll back far enough and my short term memory isn't fully healed yet.  I've found it very helpful, especially since my allergies always seem worse at night.  I think lying down makes my sinuses fill up, but it does help immensely with getting some sleep, too.

 

My last and final goal is to get off all sleep aids.  I'm not there yet, but once I can get to sleep without them, I think I will be 100% healed.  I did sleep for 8 straight hrs last night and got to sleep fairly easily.  IMPROVEMENT!  I got a test back 2 weeks ago finding I had very low progesterone, so I am rectifying that.  It's helping immensely, although I have absolutely the worst acne I have ever had in my entire life.  It's really gross and often times painful.    Anyway, I think that's enough for today.

 

:smitten: to everyone!  Bright days to come!

 

~D

[[Ju...]]

Just wanted to say thy I agree with what deinoncote said about a starting taper rate. I tend to forget that not everyone starts at 1 mg 

 

Glad you are doing so well deinoncote!

[[is...]]

Hello Klonopin Klub. I plan to post here in the next few months when I taper off of my benzo.

 

 

[[La...]]

Hello Klonopin Klub. I plan to post here in the next few months when I taper off of my benzo.

 

 

Hi Isaac,

 

Welcome to the klonopin klub. So happy to have you here with us. Also happy you received a great deal of good advice from other buddies already. Looks like you'll be working with a doctor which really helps a lot. I'll be starting my taper in about a week so it looks like you & I will be doing it together, although I have a bit more to taper off than you...1.25 mg. I think we're pretty much the newbies of the group. If you have any questions or just need support, as we all do here, please don't hesitate to ask. We're all here to support each other.

 

Hugs,

Laelani

[[ha...]]

alan99 - my worst symptoms are now GI - constant upper abdominal bloating, pains in lower abdomen on and off. Sometimes pain in stomach. If i exercise it always affects my GI tract. Different things that come and go but the bloating is the worst.  Anyone have this and find anything that helps?

[[...]]

Welcome, Isaac!  HHT:  I had to watch very carefully what I ate for a very long time.  Its a little better now.  Lots of protein, some fat, very little sugar or carbs.... no caffeine, alcohol, anything too acidy or too spicy and especially processed foods... I nevr found anything to help it except to control what I ate .  It was hard working it out and then sticking to just those foods that didn't cause trouble but I got the sx under control and that helped me deal w/ other stuff better.  i had a great time w/ my grand kids this wknd but was exhausted and so anxious bythe time their parents picked them up.  it was worth it... a few months ago, iwouldn't have been able to do it at all.  Also got 3 trees down this wk.  Now just need to get them cut up and out of the yard. I lose track sometimes that things are getting done.  I was very thankful for the help... operating any power tools just leaves me fried for hours.  Pickineg up the sticks is the easy part.  Hopes for a windowful day for everyone   Njoy

[[is...]]

I hope everything works out well for you Laelani. I'll be starting my taper on Tuesday, most likely. Perhaps a blog also.

Thanks for the advice Njoy, I'll definitely have to stay away from processed foods and caffeine.

 

The w/d symptom that gets me the most every time is that panicky feeling of displacement. I'm in a trance and I'm always in and out of it. it kinda feels like this 

in school everyone always thinks I'm a crazy person.

[[ho...]]

Good morning K Klub,

 

It's great to have the new members with us! Wishing you all the best with your tapers. Have you decided which type of taper you're going to do?

 

It's been 4 weeks since I jumped. I don't have full days that are tough (keeping my fingers crossed) anymore. Some days are very good. Other days part good, part symptomatic. The sx I have currently are stomach pains, headaches, dizziness and fatigue.

 

Saturday night I had my granddaughter overnight. We had a great time. So glad the time is past when I could barely handle a short visit with her. 

 

I'm going back up to the family lake home on Wed. for my annual getaway with my girlfriends. I will be a very relaxing, non-stress 5 days.

 

Wishing you all healing,

hopeful2013

 

 

[[La...]]

Good morning K Klub,

 

It's great to have the new members with us! Wishing you all the best with your tapers. Have you decided which type of taper you're going to do?

 

It's been 4 weeks since I jumped. I don't have full days that are tough (keeping my fingers crossed) anymore. Some days are very good. Other days part good, part symptomatic. The sx I have currently are stomach pains, headaches, dizziness and fatigue.

 

Saturday night I had my granddaughter overnight. We had a great time. So glad the time is past when I could barely handle a short visit with her. 

 

I'm going back up to the family lake home on Wed. for my annual getaway with my girlfriends. I will be a very relaxing, non-stress 5 days.

 

Wishing you all healing,

hopeful2013

 

 

Good Morning Hopeful,

 

I have a week to decide what type of taper I'd like to do. As of right now, my doctor is advising a dry cut taper of 10% every 10 to 14 days.

I'm willing to dry cut, but I'm thinking I'd like to cut .1% a day for 10 days, as opposed to cutting once & waiting. I also am debating to cut smaller., less than 10%, and see how I do the 1st go around. I know some of you have used liquid titration....wondering if it's a lot of work & complicated. I'm buying the Gemini jewelers scale from amazon today for dry cutting. I am also wondering how i should go cutting i.e. which dose, all doses, etc.  I dose 3 x per day. .5 at 7am .25 at 3pm & .5 at 11pm. Can anyone suggest how & what would be the best way to cut the doses?

SummerMeadow gave me some helpful tips....along with her taper formula & schedule.....thank you so much Summer

But if anyone else can give me some helpful tips & suggestions for a taper formula that worked for them that would be great as well!

 

Thank you all so very much,

Laelani

[Guest [lo...]]

Hello everyone,

 

As of Saturday I am down to 0.0625mg of klonopin.Llittle shaky, pounding heart, heart beat abou 90,  mild head pressure, still not sure if the sx will hit hard tomorrow or the day after. Waiting anxiously.

Here's my question: do you think it will be Ok to jump from this dose? I'm tired of cutting, my whole taper has been longer than the time I was on klonopin before that, but being such a coward I try to do my best to ensure myself a smooth landing.

 

Anybody?

 

Thank you

[[ad...]]

Did a cut on Friday.  Feeling the usual stuff, stomach is the worst.  I'm trying to slowly cut back on my coffee intake to help counteract the anxiety from the K w/d.  I have a very hard time quitting caffeine so I'm going really slow.  I found a new book on alcoholism, and just as I thought, it recommends getting rid over everything that effects the short term reward system of the brain.  I've tried low carb diets, but I get concerned about them because they tend to trigger depression in me, which generally leads to a booze bender.