An experience like no other

[[ml...]]

Ahhhhhh pj, I send you a HUGE BB 

 

Your words brought tears to my eyes, but in a good way. As I keep working hard to get to this recovery finish line, I am honored to think anything I have been thru can help any other hurting soul out here. We all have our pains and challenges that got us to this place to be on these drugs.  Absolutely blindsided by this whole thing. I wish I could go back, just like we all do and have someone say to me, DON"T touch that drug and here's why. But thats not to be, we must go on from here and embrace the lesson hidden amongst the pain.

 

I am so grateful that I have had a few opportunities to keep people from taking a benzo. I will tell anyone that will listen, or that I hear of, in my sphere of influence about the dangers and its just not worth it.

 

Thank you so very much for the quote, its so beautiful and I am going to print it out and tape it on my bathroom mirror.

 

Thankful for you friend pj 

Lysa

 

Hi magic,

 

Thank you for the HUGE hug

 

It has been said that a hug is worth a thousand words, so instead of writing a thousand words to you, I am sending you a great big Panda Bear kind of a hug! 

 

Have a most delightful weekend.

 

pj

 

[[Le...]]

Pj!

 

Just dropping by to say hello! I dont doubt your days and nights are nice and peaceful. Thank you for all that you do for all of us!

 

I wont send you hugs but I hope you have an awesome steak dinner tonight.

 

God Bless!

 

Leo

 

 

[[Ar...]]

I have been looking at myself in the mirror, lately.  I make myself "smile" back at the person I don't seem to recognize anymore.  Today, I started seeing a person I did recognize.  It was wonderful to read what you said about the mirror.  I believe that also.  Thank you for sharing all of your wisdom and courage.  I am a little over seven months benzo free after taking a small amount of diazepam for about 4 months and then tapered down about three more months.  Best wishes 

[[...]]

Pj!

 

Just dropping by to say hello! I dont doubt your days and nights are nice and peaceful. Thank you for all that you do for all of us!

 

I wont send you hugs but I hope you have an awesome steak dinner tonight.

 

God Bless!

 

Leo

Hi Leo,

 

I'm glad you stopped by.  Good to hear from you again.  I haven't enjoyed a steak dinner for a long time, and it's about time that I did.  Thank you for the suggestion. 

 

I don't know if I am really doing all that much to help folks, but I do appreciate your thinking that I do. This painful, drawn-out-seemingly never ending benzo process - from having withdrawals, to finally healing, is a travesty that is perpetrated upon innocent people much too often ... through no fault of their own.

 

Their mind and body are held hostage by a devil drug that seemingly never wants to set them free.  But, because of their courage, and their dogged determination, people become much stronger than those tiny pills that held them prisoner in their own body for so long, and they do become free.   

 

All the kind and decent folks such as yourself should never have had to suffer in the horrendous way that you all have suffered.  There is no excuse that can justify why so many in the medical profession are so naïve when it comes to explaining to their patients the inherent dangers associated with the  taking of benzos.   

 

God Bless you too, Leo.

 

pj 

[[...]]

I have been looking at myself in the mirror, lately.  I make myself "smile" back at the person I don't seem to recognize anymore.  Today, I started seeing a person I did recognize.  It was wonderful to read what you said about the mirror.  I believe that also.  Thank you for sharing all of your wisdom and courage.  I am a little over seven months benzo free after taking a small amount of diazepam for about 4 months and then tapered down about three more months.  Best wishes 

Hi Arkansas,

 

When you look in the mirror, and for the first time in a very long time, you finally recognize the person looking back at you ... that is indeed encouraging, and it must make you feel like a winner.  Be proud; share those happy smiles.  You earned everyone of them  

 

There was a time when I refused to look at my face in a mirror, because the red eyes, the twitching eyelids, and the bags under those eyes, was not a pretty sight.

Congratulations on being benzo free.  It took a lot of determination, and a huge amount of will power for you to achieve that goal.  You should be very proud of yourself.

 

Best wishes to you, too. 

 

pj

[[ml...]]

Morning pj...Well I will chime in here and say you help more than you know. What you said is exact truth...

 

 

Their mind and body are held hostage by a devil drug that seemingly never wants to set them free.  But, because of their courage, and their dogged determination, people become much stronger than those tiny pills that held them prisoner in their own body for so long, and they do become free.   

 

 

It has taken everything I have to bust my way thru this. Its like your under a concrete floor and you must keep chipping away until you see the light, then STILL keep going and going and going, until you can breath again and not be afraid to look into the eyes of the person in the mirror. This deal is NOT for wimps!

We are all very brave and very strong to walk thru this and stay committed until its over! Its a fact, we will never be the same after this experience, but I am thankful for that. This will not be in vain, our lives will be better and so will those around us, as we use our journeys to help others around us.

 

God bless you all 

magic

[[...]]

Hi PJ,

 

Just reading through here again and I want to thank you for all the time you take to answer each poor suffering soul every time. I really think you are an angel. Your words feed us hope and encouragement.

 

God bless you 

[[...]]

You're welcome, marj

 

Thank you for thinking that I am an Angel, but I'm really not.  I am someone, just like you, and everyone else on this site, who wants to help folks who are suffering from those horrific withdrawals that can make them feel more vulnerable, and more helpless than a new born kitten. 

 

They need lots of encouragement, and lots of reassurance in order to survive in their cold and lonely world of withdrawals. 

 

They need to know they are not alone.  They need to know that someone understands them, and cares about them.  They need to know that the withdrawals are not their fault.  And most of all, they need to know that they are going to recover - get their life back, and be whole again.

 

This forum is the wonderful healing place that it is, because

it makes no difference who you are, what you are or where you come from, you are treated with dignity and respect.

 

The Administrators, the Moderators - and the folks like yourself who are going through withdrawals are the Angels. 

 

You are all Angels, because no matter how much you may be hurting, you guys always respond to the concerns and the worries of your fellow members in the most compassionate and understanding way, like an Angel would.

 

The very best to you, dear lady.

 

pj

[[...]]

Greetings: 

 

For you brave folks who are dealing with those withdrawals that are meaner than The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, this holiday season may not be so very jolly.  You probably don't feel much like decking the halls with boughs of holly, going to the mall or decorating that Christmas tree, because those darn withdrawals take away just about all of a person's motivation to want to do much of anything but to sit on the couch and stare at the walls.   

 

Because of your withdrawals, understandably, nothing is quite the same for you this year.

 

You are hurting in ways that you have never hurt before.

You are confused in ways that you have never been confused before.  You are feeling let down by your friends and your family, because they don't understand just how devastating withdrawals can be, and how they can change a person's perception of what seems real and what does not seem real. 

 

No matter how many times you have tried to explain to your friends and your family about withdrawals, they just don't get it, so they may say to you, with an odd look on their face ... "you look okay to me, get with the program, it's Christmas!"  "Be Happy!" 

 

You shrug your shoulders and you walk away. 

 

You know that your words have landed on deaf ears, because they will never try to understand or comprehend that a pill known as a Benzodiazepine can change a person into someone who feels more like a Zombie than a Zombie feels like a Zombie.

 

Christmas brings with it an avalanche of emotions, because most families display a lot of drama at Christmas time, and there is not too much that can be done about it.   

Memories of lost loved ones, memories of childhood, and memories of recalling all the wrong turns, and the detours that a person has taken during their journey down the road of life seem to come to the forefront at Christmas time, causing a person's emotions to go into overdrive.

 

For a person who is having withdrawals, this avalanche of emotions at Christmas time can be a hundred times worse than it is for the folks who are not in withdrawals,   

but, as hard as it may be, try not to isolate yourself from your family and friends this Christmas, because  Withdrawals are a just temporary part of your life, whereas your family is a permanent part of your life.

 

Skipping the holidays with family and friends, because of withdrawals is not the solution to assuaging all those unwanted remarks from those who have hurt you, because they really do not understand the whole concept of benzo withdrawals.

It's so very true when it is said that the only people who really understand  withdrawals are the people who have had withdrawals.

 

When you have healed from your benzo experience there will be lots of time for the mending of hurt feelings and misunderstandings between you and your loved ones.  You love your family, and they love you, and that love that you have for each other will be stronger than ever after you have healed. 

 

"Someday things in my life are going to change."  I think that most of us have uttered those words a time or two.  These are very prophetic words, because we all indeed do have a 'Someday' somewhere in our future when our hopes, our wishes, and our dreams come true.

 

If your someday for being healed was not yesterday or if your someday for being healed will not be tomorrow, then your 'Someday'... may be today, because - miracles do happen.

 

You are probably feeling more lonely and all alone this Christmas season than you have felt during any of your past Christmases, but you just wait until next year when you are healed, and you experience your best Christmas ever    

 

Peace to you all.

 

pj

 

 

[[pi...]]

I wish you a peaceful holiday season as well pj, something not so easy to do in our world today. The best thing we can do is to hold onto those we love and cherish every moment with them.

 

PG 

[[Le...]]

Pj-

 

I too would like to echo the thoughts of those before me in wishing you a wonderful holiday. This thread has been my true north during this process and I can truly say that so many people have gone to bed feeling better after reading your messages. I only wish that the awesome karma you deserve fills your life at every single moment.

 

I have read through years of people seeking your counsel and again and again you share such profound insight in sharing your experience as well as providing the hope so many are desperate for.

 

I hope your home is warm cozy and tranquil. May your loved ones be healthy and happy and may you continue to have peace and happiness in your life.

 

God Bless

 

Leo

 

[[...]]

Morning pj...Well I will chime in here and say you help more than you know. What you said is exact truth...

 

 

Their mind and body are held hostage by a devil drug that seemingly never wants to set them free.  But, because of their courage, and their dogged determination, people become much stronger than those tiny pills that held them prisoner in their own body for so long, and they do become free.   

 

 

It has taken everything I have to bust my way thru this. Its like your under a concrete floor and you must keep chipping away until you see the light, then STILL keep going and going and going, until you can breath again and not be afraid to look into the eyes of the person in the mirror. This deal is NOT for wimps!

We are all very brave and very strong to walk thru this and stay committed until its over! Its a fact, we will never be the same after this experience, but I am thankful for that. This will not be in vain, our lives will be better and so will those around us, as we use our journeys to help others around us.

 

God bless you all 

magic

 

Thank you magic,

 

I was looking back at some responses and I saw that I had neglected to respond to the above post of yours.  Thank you for your response, magic.  You are a courageous, 'never give up' fighter in the war against benzos. 

 

God bless you, and happy holidays to a real gem of a person

 

pj 

[[...]]

I wish you a peaceful holiday season as well pj, something not so easy to do in our world today. The best thing we can do is to hold onto those we love and cherish every moment with them.

 

PG 

Thank you pianogirl,

 

"The best thing we can do is to hold onto those we love and cherish every moment with them." 

 

Those words say it all.  With a world in a state of chaos that seems to have no moral compass to guide it, we must hold our loved ones close to our heart, and tell them every day how much we love them. 

 

Happy holidays

 

pj 

[[...]]

Pj-

 

I too would like to echo the thoughts of those before me in wishing you a wonderful holiday. This thread has been my true north during this process and I can truly say that so many people have gone to bed feeling better after reading your messages. I only wish that the awesome karma you deserve fills your life at every single moment.

 

I have read through years of people seeking your counsel and again and again you share such profound insight in sharing your experience as well as providing the hope so many are desperate for.

 

I hope your home is warm cozy and tranquil. May your loved ones be healthy and happy and may you continue to have peace and happiness in your life.

 

God Bless

 

Leo

 

Leo, my friend, you are indeed a gentleman and a scholar, but more importantly, you are a very kind and decent person.

 

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."

 

Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Happy holidays, Leo.  At Christmas time, the New England countryside must be reminiscent of one of those serene Currier and Ives lithographs.   

 

pj

[[ml...]]

Morning pj...Well I will chime in here and say you help more than you know. What you said is exact truth...

 

 

Their mind and body are held hostage by a devil drug that seemingly never wants to set them free.  But, because of their courage, and their dogged determination, people become much stronger than those tiny pills that held them prisoner in their own body for so long, and they do become free.   

 

 

It has taken everything I have to bust my way thru this. Its like your under a concrete floor and you must keep chipping away until you see the light, then STILL keep going and going and going, until you can breath again and not be afraid to look into the eyes of the person in the mirror. This deal is NOT for wimps!

We are all very brave and very strong to walk thru this and stay committed until its over! Its a fact, we will never be the same after this experience, but I am thankful for that. This will not be in vain, our lives will be better and so will those around us, as we use our journeys to help others around us.

 

God bless you all 

magic

 

Thank you magic,

 

I was looking back at some responses and I saw that I had neglected to respond to the above post of yours.  Thank you for your response, magic.  You are a courageous, 'never give up' fighter in the war against benzos. 

 

God bless you, and happy holidays to a real gem of a person

 

pj

 

 

No worries pj...thank you so much and I wish you the same friend 

Lysa

[[An...]]

Pj, I'm 15.5 months out & still no windows since month 3 & those were just partial windows, never symptom free. I know I've written to you before but need to again. I feel like such a lost, hopeless case. Having a horrible withdrawal time and to borrow a phrase from a Christmas song "it doesn't show signs of stopping." I think I might be one of those people that Professor Ashton and Wikipedia mention as someone who never heals. As I get further out from my last dose of Ativan I feel even more hopeless and am shocked at the new symptoms cropping up and ones I had only in cold turkey or ones that had been a bit less hitting so hard. I'm not sure how much more, how much longer I can take this horrific torment. I can't believe this is my life. It is so bizarre that I'm even going through it - have never touched a recreational drug and have always stayed away from prescriptions. I can't believe I ever took that evil Ativan and wish every second that I had a time machine to go back...

 

I'm so sorry for the rant here on your very hopeful page. I don't even know what else to say. I don't know if I'll ever see my way out of this horrible torture. So many times I feel I'm dying, even though I know the symptoms and the withdrawal are what's causing me to feel that way. I don't even know if I'm writing to you to ask for hope or what since I feel so hopeless...I feel the tortures are so inhumane. Sometimes I'm just breathing through it, barely making it through the minutes. I'm not sure what else to say. I'm so sorry for such a negative post.

[[...]]

 

 

 

Hi Angelprint

 

A long time ago I was having withdrawals.  I was very depressed.  I felt hopeless and miserable.  My mind was racing, and my heart was pounding.  I was anxious.  I was exhausted and yet I could not sleep.

 

I began to wonder if the Ativan had damaged me beyond repair, and if my life would be ruined, and if I would ever be the same again.

 

That little pill took fifteen months of my life away from me, but I don't think about those lost days and months.  They are gone.  I recovered from those horrible withdrawals, and you will, too. 

 

Angelprint, as hard as it is for you right now, try to look forward to the future.  Traveling backwards to the time when you first took that evil Ativan, will just make you more depressed, and less hopeful that you are going to heal. 

I know that fifteen months of never-ending withdrawals seems like two lifetimes to you, but when you are healed, the days and the months that you suffered from those horrible withdrawals will be forgotten.

 

When you are healed, the time that you lost to those withdrawals will seem like no more than a second was taken out of your life, because when you have healed, you are going to have many, many more days, months, and years ahead of you to enjoy and cherish your life with a new found zest and appreciation for all the wondrous things that you have to look forward to in a withdrawal free life.

 

Angelprint, I don't know why some folks heal in two months or why it takes some folks two years or more to heal from benzo withdrawals.

Maybe its taking longer for you to heal than you think it ought to, because like many folks around here, your are much more sensitive to drugs such as Ativan.

 

I imagine that there are millions of people who have none, or very limited withdrawals from taking benzos.    Obviously, we who have those terrible withdrawals are 'wired' much differently than those fortunate folks who do not suffer in the ways that me, you or the other folks on this site have suffered from taking a drug that we assumed was safe to take.

 

Believe me, I understand why you are feeling the way that you do.  You always were cautious in taking medications.  You never used drugs recreationally.  Through no fault of your own you found yourself having to deal with withdrawals.  "How could I be having withdrawals?" you asked yourself over and over again, because withdrawals were something that Heroin users have, not someone who was prescribed a drug by a doctor.  You had no way of knowing that Ativan, could or would blindside you in the way that it did.

 

You have to try and not think about all the whys and the what ifs that brought you to the place where you are in your life right now. 

You have to try and believe, with all your might, that you are going to heal, and you have try and not think about how long it is taking you to heal.   

 

It may take two years for you to heal, because the damage done to your CNS was significant.

Even on those days when you are hurting more than you did on the day before, you are healing.

Silently and efficiently.  The circuits in your brain that send the signals to keep your body working smoothly in the way that your body should be working, are being healed, and when they are healed, those circuits will stop sending the wrong signals to the various parts of your body that are causing you those horrific withdrawal symptoms. 

 

And when that happens, you will be healed.

 

It may not be today or it may not be tomorrow, but Angelprint, you are going to heal.  How do I know this?  I know this because I, and thousands of other folks have healed.

 

Through your words, I can feel just how much pain and distress there is in your life right now.  If I had the power to take it all away, I would do so in a heartbeat.  No one should ever have to go through the agony of withdrawals, and they wouldn't have to if more doctors were educated about the dangers that are lurking in those tiny, innocent looking pills known as benzos.   

 

While you are waiting for that day when your symptoms are all gone and you have your life back ... try to keep on bravely fighting through the pain, try to conquer your fears, and try to smile through your tears, because dear lady, miracles do happen, and they can happen to you.  You may be healed before the first Crocus makes it's grand appearance on a warm afternoon in the forthcoming Spring.

 

I wish you much peace and happiness this Christmas season and all through the new year.

 

pj

[[...]]

Wow, your words again are magical and I am breathing each one in as I too wait to heal   

 

Stray strong Angelprint. This is the toughest journey, however we will make it. If we have come this far, of course we WILL 

[[An...]]

 

 

 

Hi Angelprint

 

A long time ago I was having withdrawals.  I was very depressed.  I felt hopeless and miserable.  My mind was racing, and my heart was pounding.  I was anxious.  I was exhausted and yet I could not sleep.

 

I began to wonder if the Ativan had damaged me beyond repair, and if my life would be ruined, and if I would ever be the same again.

 

That little pill took fifteen months of my life away from me, but I don't think about those lost days and months.  They are gone.  I recovered from those horrible withdrawals, and you will, too. 

 

Angelprint, as hard as it is for you right now, try to look forward to the future.  Traveling backwards to the time when you first took that evil Ativan, will just make you more depressed, and less hopeful that you are going to heal. 

I know that fifteen months of never-ending withdrawals seems like two lifetimes to you, but when you are healed, the days and the months that you suffered from those horrible withdrawals will be forgotten.

 

When you are healed, the time that you lost to those withdrawals will seem like no more than a second was taken out of your life, because when you have healed, you are going to have many, many more days, months, and years ahead of you to enjoy and cherish your life with a new found zest and appreciation for all the wondrous things that you have to look forward to in a withdrawal free life.

 

Angelprint, I don't know why some folks heal in two months or why it takes some folks two years or more to heal from benzo withdrawals.

Maybe its taking longer for you to heal than you think it ought to, because like many folks around here, your are much more sensitive to drugs such as Ativan.

 

I imagine that there are millions of people who have none, or very limited withdrawals from taking benzos.    Obviously, we who have those terrible withdrawals are 'wired' much differently than those fortunate folks who do not suffer in the ways that me, you or the other folks on this site have suffered from taking a drug that we assumed was safe to take.

 

Believe me, I understand why you are feeling the way that you do.  You always were cautious in taking medications.  You never used drugs recreationally.  Through no fault of your own you found yourself having to deal with withdrawals.  "How could I be having withdrawals?" you asked yourself over and over again, because withdrawals were something that Heroin users have, not someone who was prescribed a drug by a doctor.  You had no way of knowing that Ativan, could or would blindside you in the way that it did.

 

You have to try and not think about all the whys and the what ifs that brought you to the place where you are in your life right now. 

You have to try and believe, with all your might, that you are going to heal, and you have try and not think about how long it is taking you to heal.   

 

It may take two years for you to heal, because the damage done to your CNS was significant.

Even on those days when you are hurting more than you did on the day before, you are healing.

Silently and efficiently.  The circuits in your brain that send the signals to keep your body working smoothly in the way that your body should be working, are being healed, and when they are healed, those circuits will stop sending the wrong signals to the various parts of your body that are causing you those horrific withdrawal symptoms. 

 

And when that happens, you will be healed.

 

It may not be today or it may not be tomorrow, but Angelprint, you are going to heal.  How do I know this?  I know this because I, and thousands of other folks have healed.

 

Through your words, I can feel just how much pain and distress there is in your life right now.  If I had the power to take it all away, I would do so in a heartbeat.  No one should ever have to go through the agony of withdrawals, and they wouldn't have to if more doctors were educated about the dangers that are lurking in those tiny, innocent looking pills known as benzos.   

 

While you are waiting for that day when your symptoms are all gone and you have your life back ... try to keep on bravely fighting through the pain, try to conquer your fears, and try to smile through your tears, because dear lady, miracles do happen, and they can happen to you.  You may be healed before the first Crocus makes it's grand appearance on a warm afternoon in the forthcoming Spring.

 

I wish you much peace and happiness this Christmas season and all through the new year.

 

pj

 

Pj, thank you so deeply from my whole heart  I cried reading your words & receiving your sweet kindness 💗 I am so grateful 💗 I hope you will have a wonderful Christmastime too & a very blessed new year 💛

[[An...]]

Wow, your words again are magical and I am breathing each one in as I too wait to heal   

 

Stray strong Angelprint. This is the toughest journey, however we will make it. If we have come this far, of course we WILL 

 

Marj, thank you so much for your very sweet & hopeful message 💗 Thank you so much for believing we are healing 💗

[[...]]

Pj, I'm 15.5 months out & still no windows since month 3 & those were just partial windows, never symptom free. I know I've written to you before but need to again. I feel like such a lost, hopeless case. Having a horrible withdrawal time and to borrow a phrase from a Christmas song "it doesn't show signs of stopping." I think I might be one of those people that Professor Ashton and Wikipedia mention as someone who never heals. As I get further out from my last dose of Ativan I feel even more hopeless and am shocked at the new symptoms cropping up and ones I had only in cold turkey or ones that had been a bit less hitting so hard. I'm not sure how much more, how much longer I can take this horrific torment. I can't believe this is my life. It is so bizarre that I'm even going through it - have never touched a recreational drug and have always stayed away from prescriptions. I can't believe I ever took that evil Ativan and wish every second that I had a time machine to go back...

 

I'm so sorry for the rant here on your very hopeful page. I don't even know what else to say. I don't know if I'll ever see my way out of this horrible torture. So many times I feel I'm dying, even though I know the symptoms and the withdrawal are what's causing me to feel that way. I don't even know if I'm writing to you to ask for hope or what since I feel so hopeless...I feel the tortures are so inhumane. Sometimes I'm just breathing through it, barely making it through the minutes. I'm not sure what else to say. I'm so sorry for such a negative post.

 

 

 

Hi Angelprint

 

A long time ago I was having withdrawals.  I was very depressed.  I felt hopeless and miserable.  My mind was racing, and my heart was pounding.  I was anxious.  I was exhausted and yet I could not sleep.

 

I began to wonder if the Ativan had damaged me beyond repair, and if my life would be ruined, and if I would ever be the same again.

 

That little pill took fifteen months of my life away from me, but I don't think about those lost days and months.  They are gone.  I recovered from those horrible withdrawals, and you will, too. 

 

Angelprint, as hard as it is for you right now, try to look forward to the future.  Traveling backwards to the time when you first took that evil Ativan, will just make you more depressed, and less hopeful that you are going to heal. 

I know that fifteen months of never-ending withdrawals seems like two lifetimes to you, but when you are healed, the days and the months that you suffered from those horrible withdrawals will be forgotten.

 

When you are healed, the time that you lost to those withdrawals will seem like no more than a second was taken out of your life, because when you have healed, you are going to have many, many more days, months, and years ahead of you to enjoy and cherish your life with a new found zest and appreciation for all the wondrous things that you have to look forward to in a withdrawal free life.

 

Angelprint, I don't know why some folks heal in two months or why it takes some folks two years or more to heal from benzo withdrawals.

Maybe its taking longer for you to heal than you think it ought to, because like many folks around here, your are much more sensitive to drugs such as Ativan.

 

I imagine that there are millions of people who have none, or very limited withdrawals from taking benzos.    Obviously, we who have those terrible withdrawals are 'wired' much differently than those fortunate folks who do not suffer in the ways that me, you or the other folks on this site have suffered from taking a drug that we assumed was safe to take.

 

Believe me, I understand why you are feeling the way that you do.  You always were cautious in taking medications.  You never used drugs recreationally.  Through no fault of your own you found yourself having to deal with withdrawals.  "How could I be having withdrawals?" you asked yourself over and over again, because withdrawals were something that Heroin users have, not someone who was prescribed a drug by a doctor.  You had no way of knowing that Ativan, could or would blindside you in the way that it did.

 

You have to try and not think about all the whys and the what ifs that brought you to the place where you are in your life right now. 

You have to try and believe, with all your might, that you are going to heal, and you have try and not think about how long it is taking you to heal.   

 

It may take two years for you to heal, because the damage done to your CNS was significant.

Even on those days when you are hurting more than you did on the day before, you are healing.

Silently and efficiently.  The circuits in your brain that send the signals to keep your body working smoothly in the way that your body should be working, are being healed, and when they are healed, those circuits will stop sending the wrong signals to the various parts of your body that are causing you those horrific withdrawal symptoms. 

 

And when that happens, you will be healed.

 

It may not be today or it may not be tomorrow, but Angelprint, you are going to heal.  How do I know this?  I know this because I, and thousands of other folks have healed.

 

Through your words, I can feel just how much pain and distress there is in your life right now.  If I had the power to take it all away, I would do so in a heartbeat.  No one should ever have to go through the agony of withdrawals, and they wouldn't have to if more doctors were educated about the dangers that are lurking in those tiny, innocent looking pills known as benzos.   

 

While you are waiting for that day when your symptoms are all gone and you have your life back ... try to keep on bravely fighting through the pain, try to conquer your fears, and try to smile through your tears, because dear lady, miracles do happen, and they can happen to you.  You may be healed before the first Crocus makes it's grand appearance on a warm afternoon in the forthcoming Spring.

 

I wish you much peace and happiness this Christmas season and all through the new year.

 

pj

 

Pj, thank you so deeply from my whole heart  I cried reading your words & receiving your sweet kindness 💗 I am so grateful 💗 I hope you will have a wonderful Christmastime too & a very blessed new year 💛

You're welcome Angelprint,

 

I hope you have a wonderful Christmas too, Angelprint and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas as well, marj  

 

A Christmas hug for you two very nice ladies

 

[[pa...]]

Dearest PJ,

 

Wanted to wish you a blessed and beautiful Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

 

Love to you, Pattylu

[[Ga...]]

Dear PJ

No, I have not forgotten you, dear friend.  💕  I wanted to wish you a very Merry Christmas and a healthy and happy New Year.  It is comforting to see that you are still there, helping others as you helped me through my two years of suffering.  I am looking out my front window on this snowy cold night and I see my silly lighted plastic snowman peeking out from the snow and I have to smile.  I so missed him for two Christmas holidays but you always told me I would some day be able to enjoy the season again and guess what?  You were right.  I am so much improved.  I feel so blessed this year. 

 

I hope my story reaches others who still suffer and they will know that they will also heal.  You know, PJ, I never thought I would but I have.  We all have to relax into the uncertainty of our healing and let time do its work. 

 

Hoping you are happy and enjoying life.  I will always remember your kindness and you will always hold a special place in my heart along with a few others here on BB who supported me and gave me hope. 

 

Galea🎀

[[...]]

Dearest PJ,

 

Wanted to wish you a blessed and beautiful Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

 

Love to you, Pattylu

Thank you pattylu

 

Happy New Year to you, too. 

 

New Year's Day is the time when many folks reflect on the past, and breathe new life into their old discarded, and forgotten dreams - making those dreams come alive again.  Dreams give birth to change - change gives folks a fresh start, and a new lease on life.

 

Pattylu, here is an American Indian prayer I would like to share with you.

 

May the sun bring you

new energy by day.

May the moon softly restore

you by night.

May the rain wash away your

worries and sorrows.

May the breeze blow new

strength into your being.

May you walk gently

through the world and

know it's beauty

all the days of your life.

     

Peace and happiness to you

 

pj

[[...]]

Dear PJ

No, I have not forgotten you, dear friend.  💕  I wanted to wish you a very Merry Christmas and a healthy and happy New Year.  It is comforting to see that you are still there, helping others as you helped me through my two years of suffering.  I am looking out my front window on this snowy cold night and I see my silly lighted plastic snowman peeking out from the snow and I have to smile.  I so missed him for two Christmas holidays but you always told me I would some day be able to enjoy the season again and guess what?  You were right.  I am so much improved.  I feel so blessed this year. 

 

I hope my story reaches others who still suffer and they will know that they will also heal.  You know, PJ, I never thought I would but I have.  We all have to relax into the uncertainty of our healing and let time do its work. 

 

Hoping you are happy and enjoying life.  I will always remember your kindness and you will always hold a special place in my heart along with a few others here on BB who supported me and gave me hope. 

 

Galea🎀

Hi Galea  

 

To read your post was like getting a Christmas card from a long lost friend.  What a pleasant surprise it was to hear from you again.

 

Galea, I kid you not - I was thinking of you and your silly plastic Snowman and your silly plastic Santa Clause when I was removing snow from around my house yesterday.  I logged on today, and there you were, talking about that magical, silly plastic Snowman.  What a wonderful coincidence.  I will always remember you and that silly plastic Snowman.     

 

It warms my heart on this cold winter day knowing that you are happy and smiling again.  You had a tough time with those withdrawals, but you survived them.  Your healing provides hope and proves to the folks who are still waiting to be healed, that they will indeed recover from their withdrawals, and go on to live a happy and productive life again.

 

Happy New Year,Galea.  Thank you for the wonderful post.  I hope your life is always as peaceful, and inspiring as are your beautiful Montana Mountains.

 

pj