An experience like no other

[[Se...]]

PJ,

 

Loved reading your story. Congratulations to you.

 

I feel like a mess. Been on and off so many drugs these past 6 years due to chronic pain. Many times since I got so sick from them I would cold turkey Valium, Gabapentin and Oxycodone together....I would get by with Marijuana, only to start the same drugs again (under doxtor’s care). Problem was, the medications never helped my pain and the side effects were horrendous.

 

So here I am again. Finally weaned Oxycodone and stopped for good July 2017. Weaned and stopped Valium December 2016.

 

Then I had neurosurgery March, 2017, where the surgeon put me on .5mg Klonipen 2x a day two weeks before surgery and three weeks after. I had no idea that equaled 16-20mg of Valium a day. I took Valium on and off and my daily dose averaged about 7mg. Not knowing how strong K was I quickly weaned, then crashed...found B.B. and began to learn a lot.

 

So now I’m on 1.7mg of Valium with 12.5mg Zoloft in am. I take 4.5mg Valium at night.  I’m also decreasing Gabapentin. Most people can stop Gabapentin (via my neurologist at 100mg)...not me. I was taking 19mg in am and 19mg in pm. Two days ago, I stopped my morning Gabapentin dose.

 

I’m not sure how to wean the Valium. At 3:00pm I feel like hell. Icy cold with skin burning, achy all over.

 

Is it best to split my Valium doses (two or three times a day) or wean my am dose, then pm dose...as that was my plan? I really need help. Plan on weaning and stopping everything. Although I’m on low doses of everything, I’m 4’11” and weigh 98lbs. Not eating well. Lost 20 lbs this year. Digestion is a mess. Benzo belly. Chronic inactive gastritis....I have to get off these meds as soon as possible. I can’t even digest vitamins. Feels like every pill comes up to my mouth.

 

Please — I need as many comments on this as possible from people. I need help. I would even love to talk to someone to help me through this.

 

Thanks.

[[...]]

Hi Seeking

 

Those darn drugs.  More often than not, the side-effects that folks suffer from after taking certain drugs - are just as bad or worse than the condition for which they were prescribed.  It's a catch 22 dilemma for sure.

 

Because I went cold turkey, I have no experiencing in tapering drugs.  Not wanting to give you any misleading or incorrect information regarding the do's and don'ts of tapering, here is a link to the tapering board.

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?board=62.0

 

You will get lots of help on this site from folks, who, from their own experience, know a great deal about tapering, and they will be eager to help you out.

 

I wish you the very best in pursuing your urgent need to be free from those drugs that have caused you so much pain and suffering.

 

Peace to you.

 

pj 

[[Se...]]

Thanks so much, PJ for your kind words. I made the post on the link you sent me.

 

You are a brave wonderful person.

 

GOD BLESS!

[[...]]

I think you will get more responses on this board: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?board=56.0

 

Sorry for directing you to the wrong board

[[st...]]

I have read your post dozens of times...I keep coming back because it gives me great hope when I need it...thanks!

[[...]]

Hi stevozz

 

Our benzo experience that brought us to this forum, has educated us in ways that no institution of higher learning could possibly have educated, even future doctors any better than we have been educated, when it comes to benzos, and their harmful effects, because we are dealing with real people here who are courageously fighting, day after day, to overcome the harm that benzos have done to them.  They are not a number or a statistic.  They are real folks with tender hearts, and gentle souls who are indeed suffering from withdrawals. 

 

Having experienced withdrawals has given us a new respect for people, who, through their suffering, can still smile, and still encourage others to keep trudging forward until they can grab the torch at the end of the dark tunnel and walk out into the sunshine ... free.

 

If it were not for our benzo experience, we wouldn't have known that a unique place like BenzoBuddies even existed ... a place where folks who are hurting are understood, (thankfully they are)  because their doctors seldom do understand what benzo withdrawals are all about. 

 

stevozz, It's not an easy journey - traveling down that road to benzo freedom.  You may not be there yet, but you are closer than you were yesterday.  Keep on fighting for what you want your life to be like tomorrow. 

It takes all the courage and all the strength that you can muster to defeat that powerful, unforgiving benzo beast that has tormented your body, toyed with your mind, and stretched your fragile emotions like the strings on a cheap violin.

 

Like other folks, there have been many days when you took two steps forward in your recovery, and that benzo beast knocked you three steps backwards - over and over again, hoping that you would give up.  But you wouldn't give up, because you are stronger and more resilient than you ever imagined that you could be.

Our struggle to survive benzo withdrawals has taught us to question our doctors regarding any drugs that we are prescribed - and just as important, our benzo experience has taught us to do our own research about the potential side-effects of all prescribed or over-the-counter drugs we come in contact with.

 

Never again will we innocently, naively or blindly accept any drugs that are prescribed for us without questioning.

 

It is our life, and it is our body that we must protect from harm

 

Many of us have had to educate our doctors about the fact that benzo withdrawals ... for an unfortunate segment of society - are very real.  They last a long time, they hurt, and they disrupt our lives -- something they should have learned more about in med school or been more informed about by the makers and the distrubutors of benzos.

 

When that glorious day arrives and you are healed - that person (you) who has been missing for such a long time, will have been found and you will have your life back ... it will be different.  Your benzo experience will have changed you.  You will be happier.  You will be wiser.  You will feel as free as a butterfly and as confident as a Trapeze Artist.

 

Stevozz, you will completely recover from your benzo experience, and when you do, 

you will smile again, you will laugh again, and you will dare to dream again. 

 

Wishing you the very best.

[Guest [Ru...]]

pj,

 

Bless you for an absolutely beautiful post. Thank you from the depths of my heart.

 

Much love,

Lara

[[...]]

You're welcome, Lara.  Thank you for those exceedingly kind words.

 

"Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."  - mark twain

 

 

 

 

[[au...]]

Thank you for bumping this thread...what a beautiful collection of posts...gave me hope and darn near made me cry. 

[[...]]

After not looking at this site for many months, I wanted to come back to see if anything has changed.  Nothing, save for all the unrecognizable names, has changed much. 

There are still many people coming to BenzoBuddies every day. They come seeking answers.  They come seeking comfort.  They come seeking understanding.  They come because they are scared and confused, just like I was many years ago.

 

"How could it be possible that I am having withdrawals?" you have probably asked yourself - over and over again, a hundred times or more - just like I did many years ago. "Withdrawals only happen to people who got their drugs from someone on the street - not someone like me who was prescribed Benzos  by a doctor."     

 

All you dear people who are having withdrawals, and patiently looking forward to that long-awaited day when your symptoms are all gone and you have your life back - try to keep bravely fighting through your pain, and through your fears.  Try to smile through your tears.  Healing does happen, and healing will happen to you.

 

I know those never-ending withdrawals may seem like two lifetimes to you, but when you are healed, the days and the months that you suffered from those horrible withdrawals will soon be forgotten.

 

You have to try and not think about all the whys and the what ifs that brought you to the place where you are in your life right now. 

As hard as it is for you to look forward to the future - traveling backwards to the time when you first took that Benzo - will just make you sadder, and less [...] that you are going to heal. 

 

When you are healed, the time that you lost to those withdrawals will seem like no more than a mere second was taken out of your life, because when you have healed, you are going to have many, many more days, months, and years ahead of you to enjoy and cherish your life with a new found zest and appreciation for all the wondrous things that you have to look forward to.

 

Believe me, I understand why you may be feeling the way you do.  You are the type of person who was always cautious when taking any kind of drugs or medications.

You never used drugs recreationally, and now, through no fault of your own ... you find yourself having to deal with withdrawals. 

You had no way of knowing that Benzos could or would blindside you in the way they did.

 

It may not be today or it may not be tomorrow, but you are going to heal.  How do I know this?  I know this because I, and thousands of other folks have healed.  Even on those days when you are hurting more than you did the day before, you are [...] healing - Silently and miraculously - you are [...] healing

   

When you have recovered, and YOU WILL recover, your dark skies will turn to blue again, and you will be blessed with an inner peace and tranquility that will follow you wherever you go - for the rest of your life.

 

To all you brave and courageous folks who are going through those terrible withdrawals and who are fighting so very hard, every minute of every day, to get your life back - my heart goes out to you.  I wish you well, and I honestly believe that the day will come when you will joyfully, and proudly write your success story. 

 

If those awful withdrawals have you feeling like you are caught in a vicious storm that has turned your body into a spinning, whirling, raging tornado of twisted thoughts, and emotions - making you feel as powerless as a child's rag doll pinned to a clothesline - you are not alone.  Most folks going through withdrawals feel that way.

 

You are hurting in ways that you have never hurt before.  Your body is racked with pain, and your mind is more confused than a mosquito looking for a meal  in a mannequin factory.

 

You were always very cautious when taking any kind of medications or drugs, and now, through no fault of your own, you find yourself having to deal with withdrawals.

Because your doctor, knew very little about benzos, you were never informed about the addiction or the withdrawal side effects of such a powerful, and dangerous drug.  You had no way of knowing that benzos, could or would harm you in the many ways that they have.

 

Try not to let it upset you that no one, including your doctor, truly understands what you are going through.  Benzo withdrawals are an anomaly much too strange and much too weird to be fully understood by anyone.     

 

You are in pain.  You are confused in ways that you have never been confused before.  You are feeling let down by your doctor, by your friends and by your family, because they don't understand just how devastating and painful withdrawals can be - and how they can change a person's perception of what seems real and what does not seem real.

 

Folks in your life cannot grasp the fact that some days you feel more like a Zombie than a Zombie feels like a Zombie.

 

Accept your symptoms, do not fear them. They Will Not last Forever. The harm they do to you is temporary,(even though in your mind, because the benzos have told you so), you believe that those withdrawal symptoms are permanent, and they are never going to go away.   

 

If you have a cut or a bruise somewhere on your body, accepting that you are healing comes easy, because you can visually see the progress of your healing. Not so, when it comes to healing from benzo withdrawals.  Even though you cannot always see the healing that is happening to you on the outside, your body continues its silent, and miraculous healing on the inside.     

 

Because you are most likely overly sensitive to the benzo class of drugs, as I also am, your Central Nervous System took quite a hit, and has been injured in a more extreme manner than you or your doctor could have ever imagined that it would be or that it could be damaged. 

 

You must accept the reality that you are not going to be completely healed until your CNS has completely healed.  And that takes time.  Time is indeed the healer!

 

My heart goes out to all you dear mothers who are suffering with withdrawals while caring for young children.  Please do not feel that you are neglecting your kids.  You may not be able to be the so called 'Perfect Mom' right now, but that's okay.  Kids don't want a 'Perfect Mom'. They want a Mom that can make messes and mistakes just like they do.

Little kids, in all their unbridled innocence can be very forgiving, and understanding. 

 

It doesn't take a boatload of stuff to make them happy. 

A big hug, a little kiss on the cheek, and an "I love you" means more to them than any toy ever could.

 

With the passage of time and all that you have learned, and endured during the healing process, chances are, when you cross that finish line and you are indeed healed - you will be a much wiser, and a much healthier person,  physically and mentally.You realize that there are better ways to cope with all that life throws at you.  You now understand that taking drugs like benzos, only serve to numb you, and keep you isolated from the real world.

 

No matter what their station in life, the folks who come here all share the same fears and the same hopes, the same desires, and the same goals.  And that goal is to be free from benzos - free from withdrawals, and free from the almost prison-like environment that benzos have sentenced them to for such an absurdly long time.

 

Someday, when you are not expecting it to happen, you will be in for a wonderful surprise - those chains that bound you to withdrawals will have been broken by time, the magical healer.  And then you will be healed, free to live your life drug free, and withdrawal free.

Then you will know the true meaning of freedom.  Then you will know the true meaning of happiness.  Then you will know the true meaning of peace, and contentment.

 

Remind yourself daily that withdrawals are temporary.

 

Be kind to yourself.

 

Try to find a reason to smile.  Take a walk in the sunshine and dream of the day when all the words that are associated with benzo are no longer in your thoughts - having been replaced by words like freedom, happiness, peace, contentment, and joy. 

When you have healed, memories of your horrible benzo withdrawal experience will soon disappear, like dust does in the wind.  Your mind will be as clear as a piece of crystal, and your future as bright as the midday sun.

 

When you have healed - all the best pieces of your life that were taken away from you and scattered like driftwood upon an angry Sea will come rushing back to you - making you whole again.

 

Dare to dream about what you will do with your life after you have recovered, because life, like dreams - are all about second chances.

 

Peace and goodwill to one and all

[[bo...]]

Hi, PJ. I really appreciate the uplifting post you recently made on that success story. I am currently six months of Klonopin, which I only took for about 2 1/2 months at a low dose. I knew something was wrong while I was taking it, as it was the first time in my life I felt truly suicidal. I did quit cold turkey.

 

Even after just over six months, I'm still dealing with withdrawal symptoms. They are all mental. I have fairly severe depression, including looping thoughts about not wanting to live and thoughts about never recovering from this. Also, I've lost interest in basically all my former hobbies. On top of that, I have had insomnia for the last month, much like I did in acute. The worst part of all this is I keep thinking the severe depressive symptoms are coming from life circumstances and not quitting the dangerous drug. Are these things you experienced during your withdrawal? Did these take 15 months to go away?

 

I do believe I've been having windows this last month. I know I had one last Sunday night from about six p.m. until I went to bed. Felt briefly like my old self. Did you start having windows during your healing? Did windows mean you were closer to getting fully better? Thank you.

[[pi...]]

Hello old friend!!!

 

It's always so very special when you come back to offer hope to our members.  You walked the path to benzo freedom and it wasn't easy. You could just walk away from BB as well but from time to time you return. The beauty of your words and your compassion for those still in the process never fails to instill the promise of healing to all those who read this thread.

 

PG 

[Guest [Ru...]]

When you have healed - all the best pieces of your life that were taken away from you and scattered like driftwood upon an angry Sea will come rushing back to you - making you whole again.

 

Dare to dream about what you will do with your life after you have recovered, because life, like dreams - are all about second chances.

 

 

Bless you, PJ, for your beautiful heart and uplifting words... Wishing you all the peace and joy in the world.

[[Co...]]

PJ, may God bless you so richly.  Seeing a post from you is like a ray of light and a fresh breeze in a dark room of suffering.  When I was 7 months out, you encouraged me because I didn't know how I could survive to month 15 (when you wrote this success story).  I'm now 21 months, still suffering but still hanging on and getting stronger in my spirit every day.  Thank you for coming back to encourage us. 

[[...]]

Hi, PJ. I really appreciate the uplifting post you recently made on that success story. I am currently six months of Klonopin, which I only took for about 2 1/2 months at a low dose. I knew something was wrong while I was taking it, as it was the first time in my life I felt truly suicidal. I did quit cold turkey.

 

Even after just over six months, I'm still dealing with withdrawal symptoms. They are all mental. I have fairly severe depression, including looping thoughts about not wanting to live and thoughts about never recovering from this. Also, I've lost interest in basically all my former hobbies. On top of that, I have had insomnia for the last month, much like I did in acute. The worst part of all this is I keep thinking the severe depressive symptoms are coming from life circumstances and not quitting the dangerous drug. Are these things you experienced during your withdrawal? Did these take 15 months to go away?

 

I do believe I've been having windows this last month. I know I had one last Sunday night from about six p.m. until I went to bed. Felt briefly like my old self. Did you start having windows during your healing? Did windows mean you were closer to getting fully better? Thank you.

 

Hi BoomBoxBoy

 

Having quit cold turkey myself, I can relate to many of the same things that you are dealing with.

I never felt suicidal nor did I ever feel that I did not want to live, but thoughts of death and dying stalked me for a long time.

 

I would try to distract myself from those intrusive thoughts of dying, but they just would not leave my mind.  This went on for quite some time.  Then, one day, as quickly as they came, they disappeared - just like, over time (15 months) all my other symptoms disappeared - never to return.

 

Suicidal thoughts can be a withdrawal symptom, and they often are.  You mentioned that you have looping thoughts of not wanting to live.  If  those thoughts ever become more frequent and all consuming, you may want to have a conversation with someone in the medical field.

 

Your fear of never recovering is one of the most common withdrawal symptoms - as are insomnia and depression.

Chances are that your depression is indeed a result of your quitting Klonopin, but as you stated, your  depression could also be a result of circumstances in your life.

 

I did have windows. What a wonderful feeling they were when they came. What a sad feeling when they left. Windows are a sign that you are healing, and they are a sign that you are indeed getting closer to getting  better.

 

Losing interest in your hobbies and lots of other things is common during withdrawals.  Many were the days when I would just sit on my couch staring endlessly through the window - no interest or desire in doing anything.

You are going to get better.  You will get better.  Remind yourself of that every day.  Put a note on your fridge reminding yourself that you will get better. 

 

Never give up.  Never give in.  Keep praying and hoping.  Hope is that quiet, invisible force that softly whispers to your heart - "carry on, do not give up - no matter how dark the day or how lonely the night,"

 

The very best to you. 

 

pj

[[...]]

Did you have any head symptoms? Like woozy funny head feelings, dizziness, anxiety, panic, could you leave your house and function ok?

[[...]]

One of my most troubling 'head symptoms' was the fear of being alone.  During the night I had to keep the lights on all around the house.  I still cannot understand how the benzos can screw with one's mind in all the ways that they do.

 

Other mental symptoms were having high anxiety and panic when those intrusive thoughts about death and dying took over my mind. preventing me from thinking rational thoughts.

 

During these episodes, I definitely could not leave my house. 

 

I would get intrusive thoughts, and some mild depersonalization ( I would sometimes feel kind of robot-like as I went about doing things).  I also had some mild  derealization ( I often felt that I was just going through the motions of living, kind of in a dream-like state).

 

It's been a long time, but I think all the mental stuff lasted from three to six months.  The physical symptoms ( neck pain and stiffness, back pain, itching, sensitivity to light, sensitivity to hearing, muscle spasms, flu-like symptoms, electrical shock feeling - etc, etc, etc) did not all go away until the fifteenth month.

 

All your symptoms are classic withdrawal symptoms.

 

Take care.

[[...]]

Hello old friend!!!

 

It's always so very special when you come back to offer hope to our members.  You walked the path to benzo freedom and it wasn't easy. You could just walk away from BB as well but from time to time you return. The beauty of your words and your compassion for those still in the process never fails to instill the promise of healing to all those who read this thread.

 

PG 

Hello old friend

 

Thank you for those kind words.  I hope all is well with you.

 

pj

[[...]]

When you have healed - all the best pieces of your life that were taken away from you and scattered like driftwood upon an angry Sea will come rushing back to you - making you whole again.

 

Dare to dream about what you will do with your life after you have recovered, because life, like dreams - are all about second chances.

 

 

Bless you, PJ, for your beautiful heart and uplifting words... Wishing you all the peace and joy in the world.

After not looking at this site for many months, I wanted to come back to see if anything has changed.  Nothing, save for all the unrecognizable names, has changed much. 

There are still many people coming to BenzoBuddies every day. They come seeking answers.  They come seeking comfort.  They come seeking understanding.  They come because they are scared and confused, just like I was many years ago.

 

"How could it be possible that I am having withdrawals?" you have probably asked yourself - over and over again, a hundred times or more - just like I did many years ago. "Withdrawals only happen to people who got their drugs from someone on the street - not someone like me who was prescribed Benzos  by a doctor."     

 

All you dear people who are having withdrawals, and patiently looking forward to that long-awaited day when your symptoms are all gone and you have your life back - try to keep bravely fighting through your pain, and through your fears.  Try to smile through your tears.  Healing does happen, and healing will happen to you.

 

I know those never-ending withdrawals may seem like two lifetimes to you, but when you are healed, the days and the months that you suffered from those horrible withdrawals will soon be forgotten.

 

You have to try and not think about all the whys and the what ifs that brought you to the place where you are in your life right now. 

As hard as it is for you to look forward to the future - traveling backwards to the time when you first took that Benzo - will just make you sadder, and less [...] that you are going to heal. 

 

When you are healed, the time that you lost to those withdrawals will seem like no more than a mere second was taken out of your life, because when you have healed, you are going to have many, many more days, months, and years ahead of you to enjoy and cherish your life with a new found zest and appreciation for all the wondrous things that you have to look forward to.

 

Believe me, I understand why you may be feeling the way you do.  You are the type of person who was always cautious when taking any kind of drugs or medications.

You never used drugs recreationally, and now, through no fault of your own ... you find yourself having to deal with withdrawals. 

You had no way of knowing that Benzos could or would blindside you in the way they did.

 

It may not be today or it may not be tomorrow, but you are going to heal.  How do I know this?  I know this because I, and thousands of other folks have healed.  Even on those days when you are hurting more than you did the day before, you are [...] healing - Silently and miraculously - you are [...] healing

   

When you have recovered, and YOU WILL recover, your dark skies will turn to blue again, and you will be blessed with an inner peace and tranquility that will follow you wherever you go - for the rest of your life.

 

To all you brave and courageous folks who are going through those terrible withdrawals and who are fighting so very hard, every minute of every day, to get your life back - my heart goes out to you.  I wish you well, and I honestly believe that the day will come when you will joyfully, and proudly write your success story. 

 

If those awful withdrawals have you feeling like you are caught in a vicious storm that has turned your body into a spinning, whirling, raging tornado of twisted thoughts, and emotions - making you feel as powerless as a child's rag doll pinned to a clothesline - you are not alone.  Most folks going through withdrawals feel that way.

 

You are hurting in ways that you have never hurt before.  Your body is racked with pain, and your mind is more confused than a mosquito looking for a meal  in a mannequin factory.

 

You were always very cautious when taking any kind of medications or drugs, and now, through no fault of your own, you find yourself having to deal with withdrawals.

Because your doctor, knew very little about benzos, you were never informed about the addiction or the withdrawal side effects of such a powerful, and dangerous drug.  You had no way of knowing that benzos, could or would harm you in the many ways that they have.

 

Try not to let it upset you that no one, including your doctor, truly understands what you are going through.  Benzo withdrawals are an anomaly much too strange and much too weird to be fully understood by anyone.     

 

You are in pain.  You are confused in ways that you have never been confused before.  You are feeling let down by your doctor, by your friends and by your family, because they don't understand just how devastating and painful withdrawals can be - and how they can change a person's perception of what seems real and what does not seem real.

 

Folks in your life cannot grasp the fact that some days you feel more like a Zombie than a Zombie feels like a Zombie.

 

Accept your symptoms, do not fear them. They Will Not last Forever. The harm they do to you is temporary,(even though in your mind, because the benzos have told you so), you believe that those withdrawal symptoms are permanent, and they are never going to go away.   

 

If you have a cut or a bruise somewhere on your body, accepting that you are healing comes easy, because you can visually see the progress of your healing. Not so, when it comes to healing from benzo withdrawals.  Even though you cannot always see the healing that is happening to you on the outside, your body continues its silent, and miraculous healing on the inside.     

 

Because you are most likely overly sensitive to the benzo class of drugs, as I also am, your Central Nervous System took quite a hit, and has been injured in a more extreme manner than you or your doctor could have ever imagined that it would be or that it could be damaged. 

 

You must accept the reality that you are not going to be completely healed until your CNS has completely healed.  And that takes time.  Time is indeed the healer!

 

My heart goes out to all you dear mothers who are suffering with withdrawals while caring for young children.  Please do not feel that you are neglecting your kids.  You may not be able to be the so called 'Perfect Mom' right now, but that's okay.  Kids don't want a 'Perfect Mom'. They want a Mom that can make messes and mistakes just like they do.

Little kids, in all their unbridled innocence can be very forgiving, and understanding. 

 

It doesn't take a boatload of stuff to make them happy. 

A big hug, a little kiss on the cheek, and an "I love you" means more to them than any toy ever could.

 

With the passage of time and all that you have learned, and endured during the healing process, chances are, when you cross that finish line and you are indeed healed - you will be a much wiser, and a much healthier person,  physically and mentally.You realize that there are better ways to cope with all that life throws at you.  You now understand that taking drugs like benzos, only serve to numb you, and keep you isolated from the real world.

 

No matter what their station in life, the folks who come here all share the same fears and the same hopes, the same desires, and the same goals.  And that goal is to be free from benzos - free from withdrawals, and free from the almost prison-like environment that benzos have sentenced them to for such an absurdly long time.

 

Someday, when you are not expecting it to happen, you will be in for a wonderful surprise - those chains that bound you to withdrawals will have been broken by time, the magical healer.  And then you will be healed, free to live your life drug free, and withdrawal free.

Then you will know the true meaning of freedom.  Then you will know the true meaning of happiness.  Then you will know the true meaning of peace, and contentment.

 

Remind yourself daily that withdrawals are temporary.

 

Be kind to yourself.

 

Try to find a reason to smile.  Take a walk in the sunshine and dream of the day when all the words that are associated with benzo are no longer in your thoughts - having been replaced by words like freedom, happiness, peace, contentment, and joy. 

When you have healed, memories of your horrible benzo withdrawal experience will soon disappear, like dust does in the wind.  Your mind will be as clear as a piece of crystal, and your future as bright as the midday sun.

 

When you have healed - all the best pieces of your life that were taken away from you and scattered like driftwood upon an angry Sea will come rushing back to you - making you whole again.

 

Dare to dream about what you will do with your life after you have recovered, because life, like dreams - are all about second chances.

 

Peace and goodwill to one and all

 

Thank you RubyLove

 

I appreciate those kind words. I hope you are doing good.  I hope that your life is all that you wish it to be.

 

pj

[[...]]

PJ, may God bless you so richly.  Seeing a post from you is like a ray of light and a fresh breeze in a dark room of suffering.  When I was 7 months out, you encouraged me because I didn't know how I could survive to month 15 (when you wrote this success story).  I'm now 21 months, still suffering but still hanging on and getting stronger in my spirit every day.  Thank you for coming back to encourage us. 

Hi ComingHome

 

Thank you for your kindness.  I am sorry that you are still suffering. No one should ever have to go through withdrawals from benzos, but unfortunately so many folks are having withdrawals from this dangerous, and misunderstood drug. Hopefully, someday, this will not be the case.

 

The very best to you.  Enjoy the beautiful Autumn weather.

 

pj

[[bo...]]

The thing about it is I don't actually want to die. I feel like my mind is just playing tricks on me. i continue to buckle up my seat belt everywhere I go. Distractions work sometimes but not always.

 

I, too, have developed a fear of being alone. I used to love having alone time at my house when my wife and daughter were gone. That has changed. Now, I fear being alone because of all the dark, intrusive thoughts. I can no longer find things I'm interested to occupy time alone. It's mostly just spending a ton of time on this forum.

[[Ca...]]

I just read your original post, PJ. It brought warmth to my heart, thank you 🙏.

[[...]]

I just read your original post, PJ. It brought warmth to my heart, thank you 🙏.

You're welcome Candice   I hope you are doing well.

 

 

[[mp...]]

Hi PJ - hope all is well in your corner of the world. 

M.

[[Fi...]]

Did you have any head symptoms? Like woozy funny head feelings, dizziness, anxiety, panic, could you leave your house and function ok?

 

I struggle with the woozy, funny head feelings.  It’s very debilitating.    Hard to function.  Do you have this?