Online Support....Can it make things worse?

[[Wi...]]

Jenny.... I just Googled the word "Outlier" for you. It showed me a picture of a "Outlander" from the movie Children of the Corn.   How can this be?? Now I'm really worried.  This is not how I portray myself around all the humans.

 

I just want to be a "subset" and call it a day!!

Rock.. Lmao...

 

All I know is I just went against my better judgement .. I googled Subset! Ive learned I'm not Brilliant!I have no Clue what I just Read!.Bahaha. This is so bad on my Intilect. . I knew I should just stick to Hopefilled posts and stay away from all this Insight, 

 

~Jenny

 

Ya'll are TOO funny  And Jenny, in my book you ARE brilliant!!

[[ha...]]

Absolutely top 5% works for me, too!

[[KR...]]

I found the book "Benzo-Wise" by Bliss Johns much more informative than any other book on the market IMO. The contents are more factual and anecdotal than scientific. She doesn't sugar coat anything. She went through a real tuff withdrawl and tells it like it is. She wasn't some doctor observing a patient from the outside not knowing truly whats going on inside the patients heads. It's the real deal. You will find that she pretty much delt with every symptom that you've had or are going to have. She states in the book it took her 2 years to heal and she tapered. Not to scare anyone. But also reassures you that all of it does go away.

 

I'm going to order the book "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne. I had 2 friends tell me its a must read last week. Funny thing is neither of them know each other and they both told me I need to read it within a few days of each other. Talk about weird. I was like it must be a sign. Then my paranoid thinking thought it was some type of set up. LOL Both of them went through extreme withdrawls so it must have some substance to it. I do know neither of them are the type to push anything on anyone that hasn't had a positive impact on themselves. So I'm going to give it a whirl. Hopefully it will put somethings into perspective.

 

Rock

[[sp...]]

be careful with The Secret; my take on it was that it's a hodgepodge of old ideas (the power of positive thinking, more or less) mixed with a bunch of ridiculous mumbo-jumbo masquerading as science. It makes some claims that it bases in "quantum physics" which are clearly irrational and unscientific to anyone with even a slight understanding of quantum mechanics.

 

Schrodinger's Cat is a classic example of what happens when you try to apply quantum phenomena to the macroscopic world. The gist of the idea is this: devise a machine that can measure the decay of one particular atom of a radioactive substance, which will observe that atom for exactly the half life of the substance. This means that there is a 50/50 chance that the atom will decay, or not, and quantum theory is that the waveform of the atom exists in an indeterminate state until it is measured. Now, place a cat in a box with  this machine, and rig the machine so that when the atom decays, a poison gas will be released which will kill the cat. The crux of the argument is, until we open the box and check on the cat, the cat exists in an indeterminate state, neither alive, nor dead.

 

Cleary this is ridiculous, either the cat is alive, or the cat is dead, which was exactly Schroedinger's point. You simply cannot apply quantum phenomena to the physical world, it doesn't work that way (and efforts to find a unifying theory to do just that have so far failed). I am a big advocate in the power of positive thinking, in that the way we think about things definitely does affect the way we perceive them, the way we feel about them, etc. There's nothing magical about that. Certainly, people with a positive outlook are more likely to do better in some situation than people with a negative outlook, but it's ludicrous to claim that this is because the universe is "responding to their thoughts" in some magical way. People with a positive outlook make fundamentally more positive, better decisions.

 

You absolutely can change your life by the way you think about it, but there is nothing magical about that, and it has nothing at all to do with quantum physics.

 

I have a problem with Bliss Johns, as well; it's definitely a useful book for people that want to learn about a benzo withdrawal anecdote, but point of fact she had a much rougher time with things than the average person withdrawing from benzos, and a lot of that relates to stuff in her personal life that has nothing to do with benzos. People in benzo withdrawal are in a state where they are highly susceptible to being influenced by the thoughts of others, and I don't think that reading what essentially amounts to a worst-case survival story is necessarily helpful (for exactly the reasons we've been discussing in this thread).

[[KR...]]

Spengler... I find your posts very insightfull and filled with knowledge. When you talk about the "feed back loop" it can be such a vicious cycle. We have to learn to retrain our way of thinking and expose ourselves to positive people and things. Hard to do all the time I know. But negative does feed negative as you state. People need to keep hearing this. Someone needs to say it. People start drowning themselves in it. Not everyone is always thinking clearly. They need someone to tell them to step away and ingest some positive energy for a change.

 

Rstud...I like "the turn the computer off line". You can shut the computer down and walk away. LOL I was reading something online that was bothering me the other day. I said enough of this crap. I went and played catch with my son and the next thing you know I wasn't thinking of that crazy stuff anymore. Go figure. This site has a different section for just about everyone in any phase of withdrawl. Its put together well. The sections I use to go to when I was fresh out of detox I don't frequent anymore. Ive sort of evolved and identified what is good and what is bad for me. Not that those sections are bad. But there just not good for me anymore. I find quite a bit of inspirational things on this site. If I didn't I wouldn't come here. I'm glad your doing alot better than you were. Sorry you've been through so much.

 

Rock

[[KR...]]

Spengler.. Thanks for the input on the books. I didn't really take the book Benzo-Wise as a worst case scenario. I would of thrown it away half way through it if i did. LOL I'm not into scary stuff at all. What I did take out of it was all the symptoms that came and went and how she prevailed and coped with each of them. That's just me though. I see where it could freak some people out with the 2 year healing deal. The break down of the book and coping techniques is what really stood out to me.

 

Rock

[[sp...]]

I appreciate the compliment! But don't think I have it all figured out by any means; I still get caught in all kinds of negative feedback loops on a daily basis, and it's a constant struggle to pull my mind away from them. One of the reasons I am so happy to post about it to try to help others, is that being able to see these things happening in other people from the outside and trying to lend support makes me realize that I need to try to follow my own advice

 

To quote Alice In Wonderland, one of my all time favorites, "I give myself such good advice, and very seldom follow it" I'm too analytic for my own good; I'm a computer science person, and in the CS world I am bombarded with problems that can be taken apart, understood intellectually, and solved intellectually. I always want to do that with my emotional problems, too, and usually it doesn't help. Some things cannot be fixed by picking them apart, they just have to be experienced and accepted. The first part of that is forced on me, but the second part can be hard to do. "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change" and all that.

 

If Bliss Johns was helpful to you, awesome -- we all come away from things with our own ideas. I'm personally just trying to filter out anything that will tell me about symptoms I don't already have

 

edit: I don't want to downplay that The Secret can be helpful, either! I absolutely do think that positive thinking is a HUGE and helpful factor in all sorts of things, including w/d. I would just advise you to take some of it with a grain of salt. Basically, take whatever is useful to you from it, and leave the rest.

[[ja...]]

Spengler hello...

 

Your right about the Scientoligy Stuff..Im not down with it. I have never been a a person to put Science into play. For real .Its just not for me. Some yes. But I prefur to take the impossible and make it Possible .Not only make it possible . Make it the best I can!!

Well before Benzo w/d about 5 years ago. I was very lucky to overcome the Impossible. Atleast I thought. It was 4 years into my daughters death. I was a mess . Kinda like a shell of the woman I once was. Lost ,Devistated,Broken hearted, And had a car accident that left me with damage to my left leg.Couldnt walk very well and was in nonstop horrific pain.Had 14 surgurys to ty and fix me. Never worked. I became worse. Well thats not what bothered me . Its the fact that I couldnt nolonger feel Joy.Now that was slowly killing me.And I knew for the first time in my life I couldnt Change it..I mean that was Fact.I couldnt bring my daughter back.Life will forever be changed.I have never read the book the Secret at this point nor would I have wanted to. What I did do is put my tinyest peice of Faith and ability to Change the outcome of who I was  left wich wasnt much.And put everybit of possitive energy Into play and make it Tangable ..I did it. It almost killed me Literly.I almost died I became so sick and my blood was now Toxifing my body..I was shutting down. But I didnt care I still gave It one more shot with everything I know in my heart.And thats nomatter what things look like Idont care .I dont care  if the doctor report says I have Cancer ..I dont care how bad things look.It can be changed! We do have the ability to Self Heal and change the outcome..Anyway..lets say I didnt die that day..I actually Came to LIFE!!! Things started to change and in Light speed..Nothing has ever quiet been the same..Then months later The book The secret came into my hands..Ill be honest I never read the whole thing. I already knew in my heart ..the Power of Possitive Thinking ,Let alone Putting it in ur hand and makeing it tangable. So when my C/T benzo W/D came 4 years later..I was really gonna be tested on this one. I was now really in the worst shape.I didnt have the strength of my mind like I used to w/d was stealing it. But what I did have was the Fire in my Heart to Change this as well. It was the hardest ever.But by me staying as Hopeful and Possitive even when I was bedridden for months ..It helped me get thru the hardest Blinding experience I have ever been thru..So Rock I think the Book The Secret is a good one..It helps your mind keep on the Possitive.Change The Game. It keeps the rt thinking flowing. I mean sure it can be filled with Science stuff I dont remember I never read the whole book..But as long as you take from it what helps you .Then the rest means nothing..

Spengler..I really enjoy your prospective on things I think your responces have been so Insightful. Thank you I really liked what you had to say..

Sorry I rambled but I am really big on keeping ur mind focused the best we can on the most possitve even in the worst of Tests..

 

P.S..I believe it was thru my Lowest of Lows that brought me to the Highest of Highs. No Doubt.And it was my Hugest Loss that has become my Hugest Gain in Life.Im Thankful.

~Jenny

[[ja...]]

Jenny.... I just Googled the word "Outlier" for you. It showed me a picture of a "Outlander" from the movie Children of the Corn.   How can this be?? Now I'm really worried.  This is not how I portray myself around all the humans.

 

I just want to be a "subset" and call it a day!!

Rock.. Lmao...

 

All I know is I just went against my better judgement .. I googled Subset! Ive learned I'm not Brilliant!I have no Clue what I just Read!.Bahaha. This is so bad on my Intilect. . I knew I should just stick to Hopefilled posts and stay away from all this Insight, 

 

~Jenny

 

Ya'll are TOO funny  And Jenny, in my book you ARE brilliant!!

WWW...Yay.

Your the best.I Like YOU.LoL. Noway am I brilliant Im sticking to the Threads that dont compromise my Confidence ..hahah. Thanks WWW I think I wanna read Ur BOOK..

 

~Jenny

[[KR...]]

Jenny.... I'm so glad you FINALLY admitted your NOT brillant.  It has taken almost 2 years in the making. It was all just a delusion of withdrawl that you were SMART. LOL Now that you have healed you dropped back down to your normal baseline. Your just plain old Jenny again. Yippie!!! So happy your back to your old self. 

 

Spengler...LOL  about you not having this figured out by any means. I sure wish someone did. I sure the heck don't. Over thinking this process makes things WAY worse.  This is like a very hard sudoku puzzle gone terribly wrong. 

 

Rock

[[ja...]]

Mr Rock...

 

Your wrong,I was wrong. WWW says so! She said I'm Brillant she knows .She has a book. I'm in IT!

OK fine Ill just have to break out my Smart words again. Ill show you .Ill be back I have to google really Intelligent words .

O well its a good thing I'm snuggable lol

 

~Jenny

[[Wi...]]

Krock you could only WISH you had Jenny's baseline!!

[[KR...]]

Just for laughs I googled "Baseline (Pharmacology)". It states the following... In pharmacology and matters of biochemistry, baseline describes a person's state of mind or being with the absence of drugs. For example, after an LSD trip, baseline would be the point where the user is completely under control and no longer experiences any effects.

 

Humm...I guess this is what we all strive for after our Benzo induced LSD trip is over.

 

 

[[sp...]]

Just for laughs I googled "Baseline (Pharmacology)". It states the following... In pharmacology and matters of biochemistry, baseline describes a person's state of mind or being with the absence of drugs. For example, after an LSD trip, baseline would be the point where the user is completely under control and no longer experiences any effects.

 

Humm...I guess this is what we all strive for after our Benzo induced LSD trip is over.

 

My experience with LSD was that in that case baseline is a myth, in that once I had that first breakthrough trip, nothing has ever been 'the same' again. No longer experiences any effects? Ha! I can remember the first time I experienced nonduality like it was yesterday. In that case it wasn't necessarily a bad thing, though, whereas benzo withdrawal just sucks.

 

I do think benzo withdrawal has something in common with traumatic psychedelic drug trips, but I don't think it has that some potential for eliciting long-term changes in perspective, at least not for most people.

[[ha...]]

Oh, give me the boring old baseline - with no tinnitus, etc., etc.

Didn't do drugs - can only imagine how my poor brain would have handled them - though they sound more interesting than benzo wd.

[Guest [Da...]]

For each her/his own and no one is the same when seeking help on-line or face-to-face advice with the added variable of ones state of mind. As we know, we all experience w/d s/x differently!!  No one disputes that fact.  It is important, however, you have a doctor supporting your benzo tapering in order to succeed.

 

If one is able to experience a window or is able to be in a rational state of mind for even a brief period while having benzo brain, on-line benzo support has been valuable.  I didn't know s???t until I began my research (back in October 2011) prior to even joining any benzo support forum.  My former Trap membership (whilst brief) was invaluable in helping me gain the much needed knowledge (also the Internet) to make an informative decision on what I WANTED TO DO and transform my life toward benzo freedom.  I have made my own decisions regarding w/d and how I want to taper with the help of my GP.  I listen to my body and follow my taper plan and adjust accordingly. The support on BB is valuable to me and also to others I know.

 

I want to remain positive and I intend to (as often as I can) because I have made it my mission statement to get off this sh...t and I will do it.  A mission statement, similiar to a corporation's, is what I feel is needed in one's own personal mission to get off benzos.  Just don't get caught up in negativity - I know it is easier said then done because I do it sometimes.  Otherwise, I want to proceed with help with BB on a as needed basis and I am glad I can come here and vent when I want, get support by empathic people who understand and support others when I am able.  As it stands for me, there is no support group out there for me in the public sphere.  I will perservere (and all of us on BB) and I believe, as a community, we all can work together to help each other in a positive manner.

 

Danni

[[ja...]]

Danni...

 

Your rt..Haveing a supportive Doc is most important.I agree.There out there .Unfountantly for myself I had no luck in that department.Haveing the support of your Doctor will be the Best way to go.

If you have the support of your family and friends.Well thats a Plus. I think its wonderful to have the support of BB No doubt. I made the best of friends here Love IT. But as for haveing the capasity of a Infints judgement while in severe w/d and being way to Vulnable anything we read can be very dangerious in the way we process it.Thats all. Stay close to what makes you feel good.Anything that doesnt stay away.

 

~Jenny

[[Wi...]]

I found many things that scared me online and on here.  However, weighing that against, the dire straights I would have been in, including additional medications, a virtual c/t experience, and just as importantly, having my sanity question and my horrific experience denied and blamed on me, not the medications,  had I followed my doctors advice solely, for me it was well worth anything I came across online.

[[ha...]]

WWWI,

I echo that thought completely. It isn't like alcoholism, where you can find a local support group - BB is the local/global support group for me.

 

[[ja...]]

I found many things that scared me online and on here.  However, weighing that against, the dire straights I would have been in, including additional medications, a virtual c/t experience, and just as importantly, having my sanity question and my horrific experience denied and blamed on me, not the medications,  had I followed my doctors advice solely, for me it was well worth anything I came across online.

WWW...

 

Im glad ur here !!! I really hope your doing well.. Im sorry that happened to you!

 

~Jenny

[[Wi...]]

WWWI,

I echo that thought completely. It isn't like alcoholism, where you can find a local support group - BB is the local/global support group for me.

Exactly!

[[Wi...]]

I found many things that scared me online and on here.  However, weighing that against, the dire straights I would have been in, including additional medications, a virtual c/t experience, and just as importantly, having my sanity question and my horrific experience denied and blamed on me, not the medications,  had I followed my doctors advice solely, for me it was well worth anything I came across online.

WWW...

 

Im glad ur here !!! I really hope your doing well.. Im sorry that happened to you!

 

~Jenny

Back atcha 867-5309 

[[KR...]]

Once you find a GOOD support system that works for you STICK with it. Be it here, Yahoo, phone, email, text, Gmail, MSN Chat, whatever. Just identify whats working and what isn't and be SAFE. Early on in my C/T I use to put out posts in the Withdrawl and Support section all the time. Thing was I didn't always like some of the answers I got about certain things. I was already in a bad way and some of the reply posts made me feel way worse. Or should I say more hopeless. The people didn't do it on purpose but it still had a negative impact on my situation at the time. I cant blame anyone but myself because I'm the one that posted the comment for the whole world to read and reply to. I just wasn't thinking clearly. What a mess that was. So I decided to switch up the way I received support. I kept it alot more low key.

 

I rarely EVER reply to posts in the Withdrawl and Support section anymore because the things I might say to people could hurt their mind set. My experience coming off Benzos cold turkey is surly not going to be theirs. So why scare the hell out of them. I see it happen to people all the time. I don't want to feel responsible for anyones safety based on any information I give them. I have seen to many people get totally freaked out based on some stupid advice that some "Know it All" member gave them. It's like all these people are watching the hit TV series "House". They all think they have the answer to the mystery disease. LOL None of us know all the circumstances behind a persons symptoms or withdrawl. So why pretend like we do. Giving out any advice other than ENCOURAGEMENT can be very dangerous. Stupid is a better word. But people continue to do it. Bunch of "Doogie Howsers" everywhere. LOL I know their hearts are in the right place most of the time. But they really need to think before they type.

 

All you need to get through this nightmare are a few good friends that you can trust and rely on that will see you to the finish line that have been through this deal. Friends that wont BS you and understand your situation outside the CYBER world. Friends you know you can reach out to for support anytime of the day no matter what. Hell, just knowing you can pick up the phone and call them whenever you need to will bring much added comfort. I promise you that. LOL This site has given me TONS of inspiration on certain topics. But IMO there is no better SUPPORT than picking up the phone and talking to a friend that has gone through this. A real human voice trumps the internet any day.

 

P.S. It's against Benzo Buddies policy to exchange private information with other members.

 

Rock

[[In...]]

KRock,

 

I really agree with what you just posted here. I think my experience(s) of the last few months have revealed so much that I never realized AT ALL about the benzo world that I am amazed. I have never been through all this before, and I just had no idea that I was wired the way I am, and all the w/d has truly enlightened me about me.  Although I am not happy about the "wiring" and what appears to be a somewhat "atypical" part of my brain, at least I know. I just did not know not only enough about the comprehensiveness of benzo land, but also about my own differences.

 

And while I am quite knowledgeable about many other subjects in life and have lived into middle age with grown children, all of this experience of the last 3 months has revealed to me a "myself" in emotional places I could never dream I would be.  And reacting with that feeling of desperation and being so lost and confused at times that I could post advice is something I did not do, and was frankly not able or interested to do as I have been wrapped up selfishly in myself and survival.  I have at times over the last several weeks thought about posting to the W and R section for advice on "what the h... is going on here," but I have been extremely fearful not only of answers, but just truthfully afraid of my own shadow; essentially not myself for periods of time that have and still are hard to endure.  And what, during those times, could any one offer but encouragement because I have been scared by what is true and any other possible implications would have been hard to fathom in my mind which has been operating over the last 3 weeks often without rational thought processes.

 

And I have sought some reassurances over this most recent time from family and not just about this subject, but about my ability to carry on with my responsibilities, and I am glad to say that I got it repeatedly. Ive even asked if I am seeing my own situation realistically as I felt extreme paranoia and fear, and was reassured that even though I did show it and feel it, it was "okay," and it would pass.  And it did, and does still and then comes back. And sometimes early in the morning, I have checked here on BB, reading areas that did greatly scare me, and then forced myself to put it down and move on through the day. So I just agree that for some (and I did not realize I would ever be so easily upset), we must learn to "screen" what we read until the mind can cope.  I can really just speak for myself here and what I have discovered recently, but safety, security, and stability for me at those times has become primary.  I have always operated at a basic survival level in my life. I just found another part of me that does also.

 

Intend

[[KR...]]

Hey Intend. Thanks for the post. I'm sorry your still struggling. I'm also sorry your crossover to Klonopin didn't go that well and your trying to stabilize back on your xanax dose. I was just curious. Who told you to crossover from xanax to Klonopin? Did someone online suggest to you that was the way to go or was it your doctor? Or did you read about it online somewhere? The reason I'm asking is because medical advise is suppose to be prohibited on this site. To me taper advise is medical advise. Or am I missing something? If it made you sicker than that's really messed up. People can get sicker from crossing over to another drug as suggested by non medical personal online. Yet when it doesn't work out your the one stuck with your new problem. Not them. Ive seen it happen. Just because that method works for some doesn't mean it will work for others. People should proceed with CAUTION!!! Suggesting someone do this is very risky IMO. But what do i know. Sorry again this is happening to you.

 

Rock