Online Support....Can it make things worse?

[[In...]]

Colin and Hope,

 

I won't worry unduly about this at all. I'm really worried about me at the moment. I did go back and read the policy, but disabling the clickable part is not currently registering for me.

 

I'll just be very careful about recommendations. I certainly understand not wanting to promote a business/commercial enterprise here on BB for plain old common sense reasons. And I totally get the other concepts of recommending "troublesome" websites.

 

I'm letting this all go for now. I really can't see it coming up again in regards to me. Please continue on, and I thank you again for alerting me to the general policies and reasons why they are there. Does make complete sense to me for sure.

 

Intend

[[Ho...]]

Any links that are posted to the forum are clickable unless one of the BB team deactivates it, Intend. As Colin said, it's not biggie. If you want to post a link that has helpful information, feel free. You could contact one of the BB team members to deactivate it if we don't see it.

 

Hi,

 

Actually, Hope, I explained in the linking guidelines how members might disable links for themselves. And, it would be appreciated if members, themselves, post unclickable links to commercial websites, as per our instructions here: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=47440.msg642195#msg642195

 

However, no big deal if some of you are unsure of how disable links. Just contact the team and one of us will, as Hope suggested, disable the link for you.

 

Ah. Yes, maybe I need to go over policy. 

 

 

[[Ho...]]

Btw, Intend...posting helpful links on the forum is good for all of our members. I've found several helpful links myself on this forum. Please don't be discouraged from doing so.

[[In...]]

Hope,

 

I'm not a bit discouraged about any of that. Don't give it a 2nd thought. I'm truly in a crisis at the moment. Just switching back to X from K. Much harder than I ever dreamed. Kind of a mess.

 

Policy is good. We have many at my job and we're always talking policy. In fact, I am a policy wonk. Just don't always get the policies when they're put in techno speak. Going over them very simply for everyone could be a great idea.

 

Sorry to go on here. Just working my way through some tough stuff.

 

Intend

[[In...]]

Let me just add that I wish this was a moment (and maybe that will soon happen) when Xanax lives upmto it's reputation and fully demonstrates it's power that I keep hearing so much about!

 

I need that soon if that makes any sense.

 

Intend

[[Kl...]]

Let me just add that I wish this was a moment (and maybe that will soon happen) when Xanax lives upmto it's reputation and fully demonstrates it's power that I keep hearing so much about!

 

I need that soon if that makes any sense.

 

Intend

 

Dear intend,

 

I am sorry you have hit a bit of a rough patch at the moment.

 

I hope you stabilize on the X very, very soon!  ((((((((Big Hugs)))))))))), KL

[[KR...]]

Xana... I'm glad you thought things over and your going to try and seek the POSITIVE support that you need from this site. Good support can be hard to find. It's good you know the difference. Sometimes it takes people a while to figure it out. Based on your post, it seems as if you have let yourself get sucked into a cyber world that has dramatically effected the way you function on a day to day basis. Its not your fault this happened. Its just a phase your going through in withdrawl that has happened to MANY. Including myself at times. At least you AWARE of the things you've let slip and the corrections you need to make to keep moving forward in your recovery. I liked that you listed them all in order in your post. Let it serve as a reminder of whats important to you. Just keep in mind the internet is like the Wild, Wild, West. You never know who may shoot at you and what might jump out from behind the next cactus in front of you. Keep close to the people you trust. Whether you met them on here or in the REAL world. Remember you will heal. And all the things you neglect while in withdrawl will be waiting on you when your done. As in that list you made. A friend of mine reminds me of that weekly because I tend to lose focus on this myself. She lived it and said the FALLOUT still haunts her to this day. Take Care and Stay positive.

 

Rock

[[In...]]

Klonkers,

 

Thank you so much for your kind thoughts and words.  I am needing that now. I'm gonna apologize for going off the topic here of whether online support is making things worse.

 

But it is not for me, and I very much realize that as I did last night. So as I go through this, right now, and say this is hard, I say again that it is me and the benzos. Online support has helped me and is helping me as I write this. I recognize that the thread was more philosophical, but this is a moment in time that is helping and I think others are having that also every day.

 

Krock, take this where it needs to go and I'll just read.

 

Intend

[[Wi...]]

(((Intend))))

 

WWWI

[[ja...]]

I really think this Thread is so important Ive been following it the whole time.

This is something I was not aware of early on in my w/d .. I was so thankful to find people who knew exactly what I was going thru ..I met the most amazing people I ever met here ..Im so thankful for that I will carry those friendships for Life long after w/d has left!!! I have talked about this with Rock for months now and the ability the scary things we read can have huge backlash on us while in this w/d .There are so many times I would say please dont even go on there. I have seen how it can effect you when u read certian things..Stay away for now and keep strong and possitive. I feel like for me I was super Vulnarble and I just trusted everything I read. I wasnt useing my judgement to my best and Im just super thankful I chose to not let anyone elses sxs and storys manifest in me..I know this site is a huge Life line here for so many it was for me to.. I love it and the fact that we can help each other in such a very isolateing experience.

I knew we heal and i knew Time was a huge factor in this and for me keeping a healthy and possitive Mindframe was the best thing for me. I also knew I dont know anyone else or how there getting thru ..meaning is anything else being thrown into the mix? Idk all I knew was I wasnt.I say stick with as much possitive as possible and stay close to the peole you trust. keep ur judgement in tack and know .. This is the internet and anything can be thrown out there and if we let it manifest it will only start to make a very painful w/d even more hard.

Idk if this is just me .But I have seen a huge shift lately in all the posts ..Like theres not enough Hope not enough possitive peeps here who have gotton thru to help lift people up in such a scary time.. the Flows off Idk why I just feel like it is. I hope soon it shifts and everyone sees that there gonna be ok..this w/d will end and Healing is going to take place.. Thats the most impotant thing anyone here needs to know..Its Ends .. And you become healthy again.. I really hate to see such despair its so sad.. I was the same .Words to me Have a Life of there Own I think this.. We need to look for The powerful ones the ones that can shift the earth..Not the ones that can bring you so far down it becomes almost inpossible to be Reached...Rock i really like your approch and how you look at things its very insightful and important while trying to see thru this w/d.You tought me so much during this time and I look up to you for that.. I know I wasnt as aware of the ins and outs of the Internet like urself.. Hang in there everyone and keep fighting the good fight..

 

~Jenny

[[KR...]]

Intend.... I was totally screwed up out of my mind coming out of detox. If you could of read some of my old posts under my old name you would of been like OMG. So i get it. No need to apologize. I'm sorry your suffering. I hate to see you go through this. For real!!! But if you stick close to the people you trust it will help ease your pain along the way. You need constant reassurance that you will survive. Because you will. The fear of the unknown is the absolute WORST. Keep clear of ANYTHING that might effect you in a NEGATIVE way. Easier said than done I know. But try!! You might think your strong enough to take it. But your just making things worse. Identify what things are not good for you at this point of your withdrawl and ADRESS them. Write it down on a piece of paper and make a list. I'm sure theres a few. Your CNS is extremely hypersensitive to EVERYTHING that is normal. Let alone abnormal. You can say its just the way your body is reacting to this drug and certain situations. Which is true. But if you can limit some of it you will decrease some of your ANXIETY and FEAR.

 

Tapering was incredibly HARD for me. So I said screw it and took the WORST way out. Cold Turkey. I just wanted off this crap. I was stupid and didn't know any better. I found this site after it was to late. But tapering is NO JOKE. I was straight FREAKING out in the short time I tried it. I try not to ever down play it or minimize peoples suffering by taking that route. This all sucks no matter how you look at it. Just keep talking to POSITIVE people that tell you that your going to be alright. Because you are. Take care.

 

Rock 

[[In...]]

Hey all you guys,

 

Thank you. I've gotten a ton of positive feedback today. I do know that if id read something super negative today that it would have got me good, so your point is well taken. Especially re good old Xanax, my acquaintance of so many years I'm try to reconnect with.

 

Everyone has been so supportive, and my brain is still kind of mixed up here, so I hope I'm expressing myself well enough  to be understood.

 

This is all so hard that i really need the positive support and can't even help anyone right now. But I will if I can later. I read on this post that we do repair. I think I will if I can stabilize. So I edit my thoughts from last night:

 

My problems are caused by my body and my drug and my w/d.

And my problems can be made worse by negative feedback or giving it or even interpreting it.

 

These are my thoughts t the moment. And I am under the effects of tremendous K w/d and not enough Xanax. I hope I made sense cause you all did.

 

Intend

[[...]]

Yes, it can make things worse, but it also can, and will most often, make things much better.  I think it depends upon ones frame of mind, how much pain, uncertainty, and how much support they receive outside of this site that will determine if the positives, for them outweigh the negatives they derive from this site.

 

When someone is new here, and is dealing with horrible physical pain, as well as confusing mind issues, reads where it takes some people longer than a year to heal, they are bound to become frightened and disillusioned.  We must reassure them that, we all do indeed, heal in very different time frames.

 

When I was new here, and would read the various forums, and discover that others were having the same withdrawal symptoms as I was, it really eased my mind to know this.

 

Most important, and foremost.  We have to be careful not to suggest to anyone they stop taking their medications, or to disregard what their doctors have told them.  Doing so can lead to repercussions that we do not want to, and should not have to deal with.

 

If one is seeking support, kindness, and understanding in a safe, well moderated forum, this is the place to be.

 

[[ha...]]

I have read this thread a couple of times, because I have been wondering about this issue. When the site was down, my reactions included worry for everyone else, a sense of loss and a shock at how imbedded the site was in my daily life. It made me take stock of what I was needed here, what I was giving and whether or not I should be so dependent on it. I am still here, so I guess it is a good thing. I didn't want to be addicted to a website. I don't think I am - just really like the people here and the range of support. But it was a strange thought.

Like many others, I am also periodically taken aback by the amount of suffering, but then I read the symptoms. It just makes me take heed of what I was dealing with - I have those symptoms, too and I am suffering, so give me a break. I have always been pretty hard on myself, so realizing that we can give and receive support was important to me. I don't like that others are struggling and I don't like it for myself, but it really helps to think I am not the only one. It really eases the burden on people I know in my life.

I think the one part of the site that was problematic for me was chat. That is pretty ironic because so many people want it back. I would get on chat and rev myself up. I miss it, but I am really better off without it right now. I did like getting on the site and right there at the top I could see who was in chat, so I always felt that I could go there and that there were real people here. However, to be honest, it is probably better that I am not there and that might have been the one part of the site I was using that was doing me more harm than good. The people weren't doing me harm, but just the pace of it.

[Guest [...]]

Xana... I'm glad you thought things over and your going to try and seek the POSITIVE support that you need from this site.

 

Thanks for your encouragement KRock. Feeling pretty bad today so needed it.

 

Xana

[[KR...]]

Jaso19 (Jennifer).. I'm NO rocket scientist when it comes to withdrawl. Not even close. If anything I did it all wrong by not tapering. So did YOU so I don't feel as bad. LOL. But anything Ive ever learned is from the people that have gone before me that MADE it through this deal like yourself. Notice I say the people that GONE before me or that HEALED. I have been a student of the GAME. And I'm still learning for sure. Early on in my withdrawl i was all over the board. All i knew is that I Screwed myself up big time. I had NO real direction except survive. Well then I started talking to a few members on here that came off some REALLY bad cold turkeys like yourself. Not many because I didn't want to many opinions to process at once. All i wanted to know is "Are you sure I'm going to make it through this??". ALL of you said yes. Some of you guys C/T'd off more benzo and pills than I can shake a fist at. So I was like dam. If they came off that much stuff, I'm good." I'm following u guys!!!! I mean most of you guys were doing a hell of alot better than me at the time and some were almost healed. Everyone one of you said stay away from negative posts and BS. Something I self indulged myself in when i was new here. Thanks again for steering me in the right direction.

 

PJ.... IM glad your doing alot better than you once were. Your insight is greatly appreciated after what you have been through. People should take note. Its great that your still coming back here to give support when you can. I'm sure you have learned alot during this process that you can share with others. Your comments in your post were all well taken. Keep up the good work.

 

Rock

[[KR...]]

hanna.... I have to say your post made me laugh when you said "I have those symptoms, too and I am suffering, so give me a break." I was like Bahhaha!! LOL!!! Ive read some posts and thought the exact same thing. But then I try and check myself and say that's not nice to think like that. Shame on me. Suffering is suffering. Even if they are complaining about their eye twitch.

 

As far as when BB's went down I was like "Thank God I had phone #'s and email address to a few of my close friends. This of course is against BB's policy to exchange personal info as we all know. I'm not promoting it in any manner. But I was like Shew!!! Glad I still have a few of my mentors to get a hold of. I use to live in the chat room. It was a major life line for me at first. I was like peck, peck, peck at the keyboard 24/7 in there. I was sort of neurotic lookin back at it. Geez.. I met some really cool people. But also witnessed alot of drama as well. Now I cant deal with it do to the real time play by play suffering that i read. It's like a Reality show with suspense built in. Wondering whats going to happen to the next contestant that log's in. I was like in chat overload. So I bowed out. Now I just try to fly around a little more low key. Take care and good luck with the rest of your taper.

 

Rock

[[ha...]]

Sorry. Didn't mean others were complaining and I was annoyed at them. I was annoyed at me, because I figured I should just suck it up. It was good to read of others having issues, because I could relate and also, sometimes I could say - been there and it gets better. Wasn't really upset with them, but at myself for not giving myself a break with it.

That is exactly it: chat overload!!! Good description. I had that, too.

 

Good luck to you, too.

[[KR...]]

If your looking for something on line to help get yourself out of your head. You might consider downloading the following. Its called The Secret Universal Mind Meditation by Kelly Howell. If you've never heard of it you should check it out. IMO Kelly Howell is one of the best. It was referred to me by a member here that came off a LARGE dose of benzos very quickly. He went on to HEAL and I still talk to him to this day. He told me when I first got out of detox to download it on my MP3 player and listen to it at night while I'm laying in bed freaking out. I was like ya right, whatever. I'm to messed up for this right now. Funny thing is I ended up listening to it all the time.

 

Rock

[[ja...]]

Hey Rock..

 

Quote" Jaso19 (Jennifer).. I'm NO rocket scientist when it comes to withdrawl. Not even close. If anything I did it all wrong by not tapering. So did YOU so I don't feel as bad. LOL"

 

LoL I sure did do things all wrong!IMO I feel it worked for me tho. Once I learned what I did to myself there was no going back. It was Fight or Die fighting, I just dont think I would be very good at Tapering. But even doing things wrong ..We heal . Thank God . The road is way extreme and the shock is super unnatural but we can beat this. Idk all I know is Time and Endurence was the Key for me .Staying Hopeful and Possitive keeps the fire from fadeing.I spent many a day stareing at the clock wishing for the hands of time to pass .Time had a hold on me and Time was standing still. I decided to stop fighting the Clock..I knew its a Time factor and Its not what Time does with me ,But what I do with my Time..So as I read many of scary and worrying storys expecially ones of a c/t that were stateing they may be permenant..I put in my mind Noway. Im gonna heal .I dont care how much sxs I have I saw some sxs have dropped off and I knew If they can leave then the brain is going to fix all of me.. No Matter What.. I had faith in my brain and serious determination to get well and make it happen.Im a huge believer in the Power of Possitive thinking always have been. When doing this we have to not allow the Power of Negitive words enter our minds and take hold..Kelly Howell.She knows the dealeo.. I know her I didnt remember just by her name untill I listen last night after we talked about her.Ive read of many her books and the abitlity of Healing is with in all of us we just have to make it tangable and keep the possive flowing..In this w/d it steals so much of our ability to see straight it did for me .But when we put healing in our hearts as well It manifest and we start to become stronger and see healing take place. As for the being careful on what we read on the internet ..You are complety rt and haveing the ability to use judgement is so important.I think being so Vulnarble and finding such comfort in people who are able to understand us makes us so suseptable to haveing our minds to believe just about anything were reading .Before we know it we feel Hope start to fade and Fear starts to take hold..So not cool. The best advise I have is keep urself as healthy as you can read what feels good and brings you comfort stay away from anything that scares you and know You will get throught this ..This w/d is noway a looseing battle its a Winning Fight and in the End ..You WIN!!!! Hang in there everyone and keep your chin up ..All these awful sureal sxs leave us ..Keep ur fire going and Smile even if its a fake one atleast one time a day..These things will help you Beat the Clock as time passes..

 

~Jenny

[[KR...]]

Jaso19 (Jenny)...When you talk about not allowing the power of negative words to enter our minds you cant forget about the all mighty search engine "Google". If you really want to throw yourself for a tailspin start Googling your symptoms. See where it takes you. It will freak you out and you will think your terminally screwed in a matter of minutes.  Or you will self diagnosis yourself with some mental illness that you have never heard of or don't have. At least it did for me. I thought I had ALL sorts of things wrong with me because of this. And I believed ALL of it to. All because Google told me so. LOL. It cant be wrong. Its right here on Google. Google knows everything. I was going to my doctor telling him I think I have this and that. He was like where the hell did you come up with this stuff. I said, " I Googled it doctor. I know this is whats wrong with me. Just fix it."  Boy was I desperate to find a cure to my suffering. Any test I ever had always came back negative. Go figure. It was withdrawl all along. Better safe than sorry though. I think everyone should get any symptoms checked out if its bothering them or their having doubts. I did. More than once. I Googled myself into a frenzy. I should of just went and got my symptoms checked without the added stress.

 

Rock

[[...]]

Jaso19 (Jenny)...When you talk about not allowing the power of negative words to enter our minds you cant forget about the all mighty search engine "Google". If you really want to throw yourself for a tailspin start Googling your symptoms. See where it takes you. It will freak you out and you will think your terminally screwed in a matter of minutes.  Or you will self diagnosis yourself with some mental illness that you have never heard of or don't have. At least it did for me. I thought I had ALL sorts of things wrong with me because of this. And I believed ALL of it to. All because Goggle told me so. LOL. It cant be wrong. Its right here on Google. Goggle knows everything. I was going to my doctor telling him I think I have this and that. He was like where the hell did you come up with this stuff. I said, " I Googled it doctor. I know this is whats wrong with me. Just fix it."  Boy was I desperate to find a cure to my suffering. Any test I ever had always came back negative. Go figure. It was withdrawl all along. Better safe than sorry though. I think everyone should get any symptoms checked out if its bothering them or their having doubts. I did. More than once. I Googled myself into a frenzy. I should of just went and got my symptoms checked without the added stress.

 

Rock

 

This is good stuff. 

[Guest [...]]

The internet is a wonderful resource. You just need to develop skills in sifting through the rubbish and checking the validity of your source. The same applies in choosing a doctor!

 

Xana

[[ja...]]

The internet is a wonderful resource. You just need to develop skills in sifting through the rubbish and checking the validity of your source. The same applies in choosing a doctor!

 

Xana

Xana Thats very good advise I agree...

 

Problem for me was I couldn't develop 1st grade skills while I was in acute w/d.Let alone Discern what was legit and rational while I was searching Mr Google for some help in my sxs.As we all know Google has a cornucopia of diagnosis's a Plethora  of them one may say at that.

 

Rock..J.

I know exactly what you mean my god I did That!!! I swear when the docs couldnt help me I was determined ...I searched Mr Google and I thought I had a death sentence by the time I learned what my sxs ment.. I went to ER convicted with what I thought I had ,So sad. Doctors were like What??? lol..I think they really felt bad for me I was pitiful. But when I found out I was the Healthest woman ever I cryed ..I just wanted something to be wrong so they can Fix me..But your so rt. Stay away from google it will scare you to death and before you know.You will think you have so many illnesses.I think what you said is the best.Go to the doctor let them check ..Get some test done and if everything comes back all good.Then its w/d and It will come to a end. I did see many doctors myself. I needed all the tests done first just to rule out anything else .Then I stayed far away from Google. Till this day.Geez that scared me. You can have a hang nail and after reviewing Google U have a terminal illness. lol . Scary Scary.. And in w/d were already In overdrive with out CNS and Adrenaline over flow.Not good combo.. Just becareful what you choose to let into ur mind and take hold while in this w/d . Rock This was a very important aspect to what can really be negitive to let in ur mind while suffering w/d. I completly agree and it can really throw someone into a Tailspin ..

 

~Jenny

[[KR...]]

By the time I was done researching ALL my withdrawl symptoms on Google. I was convinced I only had about 3 days left to live.  LOL

 

Rock