Online Support....Can it make things worse?

[[Wi...]]

WWW...Beautifully said.

 

That was really well said.. I enjoyed what you wrote . Alot! Im so sorry you werent feeling well. I hope ur feeling better now!

Thank you for saying that!!!

 

J (8675309),

I'm doing much better now thank you.  And I only spoke my truth 

WWWI

[[Ch...]]

Hanna.. I feel where your coming from. I really do. The point i was trying to make is that so many people on here bash doctors and the US Health system. Calling them stupid and uneducated in this syndrome. Its not all the doctors fault. The patient hold some responsibility and the drug companies as well. What I do know is that if I have any other major health issues going forward in my life I will be glad I live in the United States. We have the best health care system in the world by some of the best doctors. Just ask the people up in Canada that deal with a "government health care system". Ask them how long it takes them to get a appointment to see a specialist. Most of them cross the border and seek treatment here in the states for better care. Ask the people over in Europe and Asia how whacked there system is. I'm not pro doctor at all. I'm not anti doctor either. But I am thankful I have some of the best medical care in the world if need be. So we got caught up in a deal that screwed us for a short time frame. Things happen in life. But people on here need to quit always playing the victim role and take some of the responsibility for this. The anti doctor sediment gets old really fast. You will recover and be just fine. Just breathe and believe. I hope everyone on here heals and lives a happy life.

 

PS. I still think Ashton is a short troll that lives in a Shoe! She needs to comb her hair. Have you seen her YouTube video latey? LOL Kidding

 

I'll take full responsibility for my situation.  I'll even say that I'm a recovering addict from a twelve year addiction to a downer.  But who takes responsibility for telling the nineteen year old today that they will need this medication and that it is perfectly safe to take for life? 

[[...]]

WWW...Beautifully said.

 

That was really well said.. I enjoyed what you wrote . Alot! Im so sorry you werent feeling well. I hope ur feeling better now!

Thank you for saying that!!!

 

J (8675309),

I'm doing much better now thank you.  And I only spoke my truth 

WWWI

 

Quote from WWWI:  jaso19 is  such a bright light for many of us going down this path.

 

 

And that light never fades; it shines brighter day after day. 

 

pj

[[Wi...]]

Hanna.. I feel where your coming from. I really do. The point i was trying to make is that so many people on here bash doctors and the US Health system. Calling them stupid and uneducated in this syndrome. Its not all the doctors fault. The patient hold some responsibility and the drug companies as well. What I do know is that if I have any other major health issues going forward in my life I will be glad I live in the United States. We have the best health care system in the world by some of the best doctors. Just ask the people up in Canada that deal with a "government health care system". Ask them how long it takes them to get a appointment to see a specialist. Most of them cross the border and seek treatment here in the states for better care. Ask the people over in Europe and Asia how whacked there system is. I'm not pro doctor at all. I'm not anti doctor either. But I am thankful I have some of the best medical care in the world if need be. So we got caught up in a deal that screwed us for a short time frame. Things happen in life. But people on here need to quit always playing the victim role and take some of the responsibility for this. The anti doctor sediment gets old really fast. You will recover and be just fine. Just breathe and believe. I hope everyone on here heals and lives a happy life.

 

PS. I still think Ashton is a short troll that lives in a Shoe! She needs to comb her hair. Have you seen her YouTube video latey? LOL Kidding

Krock

 

I in no way consider myself a "victim' nor do I live a life in that vein.  Additionally my sister is a doctor, and I believe a very good one.  I also know many doctors for whom  I have a great deal of respect.  However, I've also experienced incompetence, concern for my welfare trumped by arrogance and even perhaps simple blind greed.

 

I had a gynecologist attempt to bully me into a painful and very invasive procedure because "after years of experience" she absolutely knew I had a precancerous condition even before the test results had returned.  She felt it was essential to do this procedure before the results came back because it would take several weeks for their return.  I chose, against her better judgment to wait.  The results came back negative.  The procedure would have been absolutely unnecessary.

 

I entered the world of psychiatry because I had severe PMS that no one in the medical community could provide me relief.  It was suggested that perhaps there were medications that could help temper some of the symptoms.  The doctor I saw was well respected and a part of the University.  She dismissed the pms and erroneously diagnosed my "condition" as a mood disorder and promptly placed me on an anticonvulsant.  This never resolved the symptoms or even tempered them.  What it did do was damage my GI system. 

 

Before I knew what the official diagnosis of the iatrogenic autoimmune disease was, the symptoms steered the gastroenteronlogist towards a diseased gallbladder.  What I did not know then, was again, she had neglected to wait for the results of the biopsies, which would have told her it wasn't my gallbladder at all.  However because of her haste, I endured major surgery when they unnecessarily removed my gallbladder.  Once my gallbladder was removed and the symptoms didn't dissipate she reviewed the biopsy results and informed me then that I, in fact had a disease that while not terminal was chronic and there was no known cure. It wasn't until 2 years later while doing research online, did I find that some of the symptoms I was still experiencing, pointed to Celiacs disease, caused by that very same anti-convulsant.  And despite the doctor saying it was not possible for this to occur, the test returned positive as well.  So now I have two separate diseases, one in my upper intestine and one in my lower intestine, that will be with me for the duration of my life.

 

I was placed on benzos for PMS induced insomnia and told that it wasn't PMS but also associated to my "mood disorder", that they were safe and necessary.  I don't need to go into my story with benzos and the harrowing w/d, the idiocy with which my situation was handled or the denial of it's existence, as I know virtually everyone here has a story in a similar vein.

 

If this had been the act of one doctor, I would accept the possibility that I had simply experienced bad luck.  I do not believe all doctors are bad, or incompetent, or greedy.  But, and I can only speak for myself, they most certainly exist.  There is excellent care available here, but I believe in many ways, the system is broken.  Procedures increase the bottom line and are therefore desirable whether necessary or not.  Meds take the place of taking the time to find perhaps the real source of the problem.

 

I absolutely think there is worse care elsewhere, but from my perspective, if this is the best medical care the world has to offer, that's a very very sad statement.

[[KR...]]

OK.. I'm not going to talk about doctors, health care or victim roles anymore. It really is off topic. My bag. Everyone does have a unique story and my opinions "do not" pertain to everyone. If anyone for that matter. The last few posts were really just my views on certain subject matters. I will try to keep most of my views on these (Hot) subjects mute from here on out. I'm sorry if they rubbed anyone wrong. I hope everyone continued healing in there recovery.

 

Rock

[[Cr...]]

OK.. I'm not going to talk about doctors, health care or victim roles anymore. It really is off topic. My bag. Everyone does have a unique story and my opinions "do not" pertain to everyone. If anyone for that matter. The last few posts were really just my views on certain subject matters. I will try to keep most of my views on these (Hot) subjects mute from here on out. I'm sorry if they rubbed anyone wrong. I hope everyone continued healing in there recovery.

 

Rock

 

KRock, your opinions are just as welcome and valued as anyone else's. This forum also acts as a catalog of experiences and thoughts from those who are going through, and have gone through, withdrawal.

 

Althought we don't mind people sharing opinions, both positive and negative, about the medical community,  we do our best to prevent any broadstroke statements such as "All doctors are bad!".  The term "anti-doctor" can often be hard to apply, but sometimes it is pretty blatant and we do not allow true anti-doctor sentiment at this forum.  Most of the members that have expressed ill-will towards doctors are simply venting their frustrations (anger is actually a step in the recovery process).  Many, based on their individual circumstance, do have a right to be upset, while others may have no one to blame but themselves (but still choose to blame the doctors).

 

I myself have had good experiences with the majority of my doctors.  Most of them do not believe that withdrawal can last past the acute phase and although that troubles me, I do not "hate" them nor have any anger towards them.  However, I have developed that view because I didn't end up in my situation as a result of one (or many) doctor's actions.  I went to the doctor back in '08 for anxiety relief, expecting it to come in pill form.  Through use, I ended up as an outlier with a difficult post-acute withdrawal syndrome.  Although I wish I had never taken these drugs, in hindsight I would have been angry at my doctor had he chosen not to provide me any relief for my anxiety back then.

 

On the other hand, there are members that went to the doctors for something as simple as an eye twitch and were prescribed a benzo.  After a few months use, they develop anxiety symptoms (most likely interdose withdrawal) and the doctor says that they are developing an anxiety disorder and start them on other medications (polydrugging).  If the patient had a true disorder, these meds would probably be helping, but they are only getting worse.  The person wants to come off but the doctor or pdoc convinces them that they need these meds for their disorder and soon, after many years on benzos, they reach the point where they discover what the real problem is.  At this point they either endure a rough taper or a torturous cold turkey, often losing their jobs, savings, friends, and spouses in the process.  If the doctor would have realized in the beginning that the symptoms "could" have been from benzos, this person may not have lost so much.

 

That circumstance is similar to quite a lot of people, and I can understand why they would be angry with the medical community.  However, I often like to remind such people to do their best not to view all doctors under the same light, even if the majority have been of no help to them.  It would be as bigoted as hating all Latinos if you were mugged by one.  Even the doctors that have no knowledge of, or even believe, the possibility of protracted withdrawal often try their best to help us the best they know how.

 

In the end, it is without a doubt that most of these people will continue visiting doctors for various reasons and ailments as they grow older, but will probably be more guarded/skeptical when it comes to doctors and psych drugs.  I don't view that necessarily as a bad outcome, but quite logical/natural given the circumstances they have gone through.  We learn from our bad experiences and make adjustments.  Our brains are wired so that we do not touch the hot stove twice.

 

Basically, it is best that members don't group all doctors as "bad" whereas it is also best that we don't group all members perceived as "anti-doctor" as "playing the victim" or acuse them of not taking any responsibility for their situation.  In other words, the broadstroke brush can be used by both sides, but should never be used period.

[[KR...]]

Crono.. Thanks for the post. I followed some of your withdrawl and I know you had it tuff to say the least. I'm glad your feeling better. Looking back at the topics I posted about in this thread they really "weren't" off topic at ALL. So I stand corrected. I think there in line with this thread seeing that all of those topics I spoke about I read right here on online at BB's. I think that constantly reading about doctors, health care, and being a victim over and over can mess up your mojo. However I do understand that people need to vent about these things to progress with their healing. There for members should use caution on what they read and don't read. Good luck with that one.

 

Rock

[[Wi...]]

Krock

 

It's possible you accept full responsiblity for becoming dependent on benzos, the doctors who helped you on them fully informed you about the risks and consequences and the doctors who helped you off of them, were knowledgable, helpful and understood what benzo w/d required and you have not experienced any issues within the healthcare system.  If so, perhaps you can provide balance here so members won't see, what you seem to be suggesting, only one side.

 

WWWI

[[In...]]

Im just jumping in cause I also have a perspective once again. I do believe that the US has a great healthcare system in general, especially for those who are able to access it (as many are not).

 

However, I think that doctors and the patients they see have experienced a tendency towards a "worship complex."  It is fairly normal to seek out the advice of an expert in any particular field when one needs help, and doctors generally are those experts when it comes to medicine.  But  doctors are people like all of us, and they have personalities and egos, and some are just better than others in any one field.

 

I have been the recipient of some excellent healthcare here in the good old US having had almost 2 inches of an almost completely closed trachea first restructured and then removed. When it comes to that particular doctor and his area of expertise, I have felt that I couldnt ever have done better anywhere else other than some other similar specialist and collegue of this doctor.  However, there were other specialists in the ENT area locally  who were just super ready to tackle this problem without ever having done it before, and my insurance company was fine with that also at the time. And I have no idea how this would have been handled in another country.

 

Hopefully, when it comes to this area of benzodiazepines, we will see a time when they are prescibed more circumspectfully, and for those of us who have used them longer term there will be a recognition of the need for safe methods of withdrawing so that this problem can be fully addressed by the medical community.

 

Intend

[[KR...]]

WWWI... Lets just say this. I had a 19 old sister pass away unexpectedly and I was having a hard time coping with it. I work at a high stress accounting firm and I was coming up on tax season when all this went down. Instead of grieving and going thru the natural healing process of losing a loved one I sought out medical help to help me cope with things and be more functionable. Notice I said "I". My PDOC wrote me a script for Valium and said it should help me sleep and calm things down a bit. Well it did just what he said. And some. The thing was I stayed on it alot longer than I should of. It made work a hell of alot easier. I even stopped drinking and going to happy hour after work with the boys to chill out because the Valium did a way better job than liquor did. Less calories and No hangover. It was the perfect pill for what I needed in life. So I thought. Long story short I became dependant on it like so many others on here. My PDOC up'd my dose all the way up to 30 mgs of Valium a day. Told me I could stay on it forever. One day I told him I wanted off and he said its not easy to do. You better stay on forever. I got extremely pissed like I got blind sided and I was hell bent at coming off of it. I tried to taper which didn't work. So I said screw this and checked into a detox center where I went cold turkey. Well you can imagine how bad I got from there and I went into this poor me and I hate doctor mode. It took me awhile to have clarity on this issue but I soon realized that I did this to myself. Not the doctors. I went to the doctor and sought service. He provided me with just what I asked for. A PILL that would mask my issues and problems and mute out my feelings. When you pay a doctor to look at you they feel obligated to fix you or write you a script. They might not be educated on the log term effects of certain drugs. But they try there best to help you. Seeing how this doesn't happen to a lot of people why should they know about all this stuff. We are the minority of people that this happens to. The majority of people are fine. SO they say at least. Not sure if I believe that. I think it you take any narcotic long enough your body will get physically dependant on it no matter what. The biggest lesson I learned from going cold turkey is there are many natural ways to cope with both mentall and physical symptoms without a pill. The extreme withdrawl I went through has proven it to me. The old me would of never tolerated any of this BS. I would of ran to the doctor for help with any one of my symptoms. And Ive had them ALL. Ive learned to endure and over come with out the help of any man made substance. I would of never thought it was possible without this experience. I wish I would of known then what I know NOW. I would of never went to the doctor the week after my little sister died. I had a stength in me all along to over come anything. I just didnt know it. Glad I know now. So Yes. I take full responsibility for my actions and what happened to me. The doctor didn't do this to me. I did it to myself. And I have learned from my mistakes. This has truly been one of the greatest life lesson I have ever experienced. It teaches you a lot about inner strength and who the REAL you is. The health care system is there to service you if you go seek service. They don't come to you. The next time I'm sick I will think things through a little longer and weigh my options before running to my doctor for help. I'm sure looking back on this alot of people can see things that they should of done different. It took me a while to see it. But its loud and clear now. I dont look at myself as one sided either. I use to be. Now I'm more well rounded. Sorry about any typos. I'm sitting at the park typing this on my phone. Hope your having a decent day.

 

Rock

 

 

[[Wi...]]

Krock,

 

I'm very very sorry for your loss.  Lossing a sister, let alone at 19 years old is not something anyone can prepare for.  I'm so sorry you had to go through that and as a result, through so much more.

 

I also appreciate the time you took to respond.  I too have learned many lessons from the last several years and I'm sure have many more to learn.  Currently I error on the side of caution, perhaps too much and am hoping once I'm through this ordeal, I will be able to obtain some balance and not end up in so much fear of what can happen as a result of what did happen. 

 

My challenge is that you commented about a "worship complex" in the post prior to this last one.  While I show respect to doctors (as I do to anyone unless they prove it's undeserved), I do not have the reverance that many of them command and as a result of questioning (with validity) their diagnosis, I've been reprimanded and fired on more than one occassion (probably not a shock to anyone here lol).  My point is, what you hear from me is a great deal of frustration.  I'm afraid to get a mammogram, despite the long history of breast cancer in my family, because I no longer have trust that my best interest is at heart.  I am afraid to get a checkup for the very same reason.  So what you hear isn't victimization, but plain and simple fear.

 

Again, I really appreciate your response as it certainly helps me understand your perspective.  And I too hope that your day is going well.

 

WWWI

[[KR...]]

WWWI... I didn't make the "worship complex" comment in the last post. It was another member Intendend to Be off said it. Take care.

[[ja...]]

JRock...

I just wanted to come and say... I am so lucky to beable to call you my Friend. I honor you an

and Everything you have had to go through In Life. I think you are one of the Strongest and Purest people I have ever known.. I would go through this withdrawl 10x over just to have been so lucky to have Met you. Talk about Rewards!!!!

 

Your friend always.~J

[[Wi...]]

WWWI... I didn't make the "worship complex" comment in the last post. It was another member Intendend to Be off said it. Take care.

My bad.  Sorry for the error

[[Me...]]

I say absolutly 100% yes

 

this time around i rarly go on here unless to ask a quick question. 

 

If you think about people only go on here when there at there worst, i know i do.  I never come on this site when i'm doing 'well'

 

so you get bombarded with post from people who are at there worst, and it just makes you more aware of your symptoms or even just creat symptoms out of nothing.

 

I find the success stories to be helpful though. 

[[ch...]]

I just want to say a few things. I have read over this thread and have seen some very interesting comments. First of all...this experience can be a living nightmare for a lot of us, while it can also be somewhat tolerable or discomforting for others. Who am I to judge how someone else deals with their pain during this? What gives me the right to criticize how someone else's endures this. If someone needs to come on here and talk everyday about their symptoms, so what?  I was in an immense amount of pain and terror for a very very long time. I needed this forum like I needed air to breathe. I can't begin to express how grateful I am for the forum or the people who helped support me along the way.

 

I wasn't always very easy to get along with. I could also be quite abrasive at times. I spent many days and nights in chat and have made over 600 posts on this forum. Sometimes I was complaining and whining while others times I was fearful and angry. I have been honest about everything I have experienced during this because I want others to see the truth no matter how painful it may be. I have been through so many changes in behavior, personality, physical abilities, mental abilities and emotional capacity. None of it has been easy but being through all of that...still doesn't give me the right to tell someone else how they need to use this forum. I am still going through changes and still healing as the months go by. It is hard for me to even post on this forum anymore without my heart pounding and dealing with revved up symptoms, but I do here and there.

 

This is the worst thing any of us will ever have to deal with in our lives....THE WORST. Unless you plan on being physically tortured or captured by a third world country...this is it. This is as bad as it can get. For some (especially those of you who cold turkey or detox) it can get and does get much much worse. If one doesn't have a large understanding of empathy and compassion after all is said and done with benzo w/d...then you must do some serious reflection with who you are, because I can't think of another experience in this world that would bring a person to their knees with such fierce and absolute, enduring misery and pain.

 

One must use this forum the best one can and use it to whatever means necessary, provided you are respecting others and following the rules.

 

As for the responsibility of doctors vs patients as it relates to prescribing these drugs....

 

We as human beings are ultimately responsible for the choices me make. However...that also makes the doctors responsible for not knowing about the very drugs they prescribe if they choose to ignore the side effects...then deny the patients symptoms as merely "all in your head" or "an anxiety disorder".  They are making a conscious choice to ignore, deny, or stay ignorant to the side effects of these meds. Also...the generic drug corps (as ruled on by the supreme court) are not liable for NOT disclosing the complete list of side effects for these drugs. Yes...the very FDA that is supposed to regulate these drugs does not need to enforce or impose any kind of penalty for the generic drug companies who do not disclose the symptoms for these drugs properly. I made every attempt to get off of these drugs for years...YEARS!!!  My doctors denied it...the disclosure in that came with my prescription did NOT list the side effects for these drugs. I had test after test...went to 8 different doctors...all of whom said benzos were fine to stay on long term!!!  All's they had to do was read the side effects from the original manufacturer that was bound by law to disclose it, but once they go to the generic companies...they leave out a large amount of symptoms. 

 

That is where I place my doctor and a large number of the medical community responsible for ignoring this problem.  I made a conscious effort to get off of these drugs and find out what was happening to me...and the system seemed almost set up to prove me wrong at every corner to get me on even MORE medications.  So although I do take responsibility for the choices I made in my early 20's to see a doctor. It is their responsibility to know about the very drugs they peddle. Otherwise...they are just legal drug dealers. I don't hate doctors in general....just the ones that completely ignored and disregarded the experience I was clearly having while taking and also discontinuing benzos.

 

 

Chrisw

[[Ju...]]

I scanned through this thread and want to say that if it weren't for Ashton, we would have no one as a guideline. She does not come off as a person wanting glory to me at all. She spent her time helping people and documented what she learned. She didn't have to do that. Her method may very well not work for some and I may be one of those people myself, but, I definitely appreciate someone out there caring enough to try and help people in our situations. /rant

 

Chrisw  I remember you from a long time time ago and you have definitely changed. You're on your way and it makes me smile. I do remember your posts and that is exactly what this board is for.

[Guest [...]]

WOW

 

Ive never been to this side of the forum before and i dont know if i will be back.  What with all the negativity and all who needs it.  I guess from my perspective it should be about appreciation of each other not to knock each other.  I feel like this should be a safe place to express opinions.  I didnt even know who Prof Ashton however I wish i did not that I would have listened to all of what she said but as a general guideline.  I was given 4mg of xanax to take every day to counter act so called side effects of an antidepressant funny thing was i wasnt depressed just couldnt sleep at night because of anxiety.  By the time i took this even though i told the shrink i had the antidepressant before and it made me sick he didnt care he just said to my family she needs this this and that.  Well the next day i was just crying and crying for 7 weeks i was left like this obviously it wasnt working so i dont know if xanax is good or bad i dont know how it feels but for me i just cried not sedative effects at all.  so yes im angry at my family  doctors whatever but i had to move on didnt I.  then i was put in hospital at xmas time sooo desperately ill because some other shrink told me to c/t the 4mg of xanax which i did she has since apologised.  Well within hours i was vomiting, had tingling sensations all over my face and the worst fear ive ever felt.  Tried to reinstate but i was so screwed by then.  Once in hospital i was given 45mg of valium and i came off in 18 days down to 2.5mg yes it was bad like real bad but however i still got there.  now for the last 2.5 so it can be done.  I dont think there is a good way to do this its all bad.  For however reason you got here it really doesnt matter whether it was your fault or theres we are all in the journey together.

 

Have to say one thing about health care Australia has the most amazing and free health care in the world.  I have lived in the states and oh my if you have money you are fine here its free for all and amazing doctors.  Not many doctors leaving for the states here ill tell you but many drs from around the world come here.  Anyway healing love towards all especially my pal Xana who has been my greatest support.

 

chillax everyone

 

Lizzyx

[[ja...]]

WOW

 

Ive never been to this side of the forum before and i don't know if i will be back.  What with all the negativity and all who needs it.  I guess from my perspective it should be about appreciation of each other not to knock each other.  I feel like this should be a safe place to express opinions.  I didn't even know who Prof Ashton however I wish i did not that I would have listened to all of what she said but as a general guideline.  I was given 4mg of xanax to take every day to counter act so called side effects of an antidepressant funny thing was i wasnt depressed just couldnt sleep at night because of anxiety.  By the time i took this even though i told the shrink i had the antidepressant before and it made me sick he didnt care he just said to my family she needs this this and that.  Well the next day i was just crying and crying for 7 weeks i was left like this obviously it wasnt working so i dont know if xanax is good or bad i dont know how it feels but for me i just cried not sedative effects at all.  so yes im angry at my family  doctors whatever but i had to move on didnt I.  then i was put in hospital at xmas time sooo desperately ill because some other shrink told me to c/t the 4mg of xanax which i did she has since apologised.  Well within hours i was vomiting, had tingling sensations all over my face and the worst fear ive ever felt.  Tried to reinstate but i was so screwed by then.  Once in hospital i was given 45mg of valium and i came off in 18 days down to 2.5mg yes it was bad like real bad but however i still got there.  now for the last 2.5 so it can be done.  I dont think there is a good way to do this its all bad.  For however reason you got here it really doesnt matter whether it was your fault or theres we are all in the journey together.

 

Have to say one thing about health care Australia has the most amazing and free health care in the world.  I have lived in the states and oh my if you have money you are fine here its free for all and amazing doctors.  Not many doctors leaving for the states here ill tell you but many drs from around the world come here.  Anyway healing love towards all especially my pal Xana who has been my greatest support.

 

chillax everyone

 

Lizzyx

I agree 100%...

 

Quote"What with all the negativity and all who needs it.  I guess from my perspective it should be about appreciation of each other not to knock each other."

 

This was a awesome Thread...Filled with Healthy prospectives.. From many of our experiences..

 

Quote" I dont think there is a good way to do this its all bad."

Well your rt its all bad.. But tapering is the best way from saving your brain The Horror of C/T Shock.And the Severity of sxs and Duration.Unfortunately this w/d hurts in all of us. But I believe a taper is the best way to go.If I had known better I would have done that...

 

I think we should be able to express our Feelings and Beliefs on how we experienced w/d. However to Verbally Attack someone for them ..Well thats not ok,..And can hurt peoples Feelings!

 

~Jenny

[[KR...]]

ChrisW.. I'm glad you decided to chime in n this thread. Ive always valued your opinion and what you've been thru. Your insight on withdrawl is of much value to people if they listen. The thing is sometime people don't like to hear what you have to say.LOL The truth hurts sometimes. You have always been a straight shooter with me since the day we met. You were like "I know you probably dont want to hear this but I'm going to tell you anyways." Looking back I'm glad you were always truthfull with me about this and what I may or may not be in store for. Thanks for being a great friend and a great source for reference thru this journey they call benzo withdrawl. Glad I met you early on. Our cold turkeys have been similar in alot of ways. Even though I wish they weren't. LOL Its been a hard road for both of us to say the least.

 

Jaso19... Your another great friend with a whole hell of alot of wisdom when it comes to this deal. Thanks so much for all that you've done as well. Between you and ChrisW you both have had 2 of the more extreme cold turkeys that Ive met her on BB's. Not saying there hasn't been worse because I'm sure there has. Or is. But if people listen to you guys they can learn alot. Again not everyone wants to listen. Many choose there own paths. But to each there own. You have both freaked me out more than once but I was always glad you told me the truth instead of some sugar coating stuff like I've read in alot of these threads. Jenny you have hands down been one of the best people Ive ever met in my life. Thanks for being there for me when so many werent.

 

When it comes to people and online support I feel this site serves different people different things at different parts of their withdrawls. Many people flock to the withdrawl and Support section early on. Then as time goes by they seem not to need it so much and engage in other parts of the forum. I think as you heal you start to realize that reading about this over and over online wont let your mind free itself from the horror, So people start to take breaks and not log on as much. Slowly theydrift off and disappear. I believe people just want to get as far away from this as they can once they start to feel relief. This may be the reason this site doesn't have more success stories than it does. People just don't want to continue to expose themselves to this online day in and day out so they walk away and close this chapter in their lives. Just because someone doesn't write a success story doesn't mean they didn't heal. It may just mean they identified that this wasn't benefiting them any longer and left before it ever happened. Who really knows. I've known some people on here that swore they would write a sucess story when they healed and they didnt do it. Why? Because most of them stayed away from the pain and suffering on this site once they started to get better. Good for them. Im glad they made it.

 

Rock

[Guest [...]]

KRock

 

Very very good points if my brain werent so screwed id point out all those good points.  Just letting you know i did read it.  You are right I hang onto this forum because im miserable if i was feeling fine id be outside enjoying the beautiful australian sunshine.  I live near the beach id be walking along it thinking about how lucky i am instead of how disfunctional ive become.  Like totally messed up in the head.  How did modern medicine do this to me.  I did not take it willingly i was literally forced on it due to my ocd the drs gave me xanax to help cope with any effects of the antidepressant.  He gave me high dose antidepressant that i had never had and 4mg of xanax which i never had.  So i dont know how xanax feels or valium for that matter all i know is that it made me sick and dumb me kept taking it because thats what the good doctor says.  When you are that sick you will do anything because you know no better.  I dont judge people why or how they took it because it really doesnt matter does it.  At the end of the day we took the crap.  sorry Krock this probably has nothing to do with what you just said im just venting now.  I think the hardest thing is on the family i feel for myself not feeling the same way for my kids at the moment because im too obsessed with how i am going so living in my own head it makes me sick.  anyway dont know much of your story however its sounding way to familiar.  did you c/t do you have a blog.  Nice to meet you

 

Lizzy

[[KR...]]

lD1 (Lizzy)..... Yes I did a cold turkey. A bad one at that. I went to a detox center to come off this crap. I didn't know about this site or tapering the right way until after it was to late. Then again I don't know if there is a right way to do this. Results vary with different people as I'm sure you have seen. I know cold turkey is NO JOKE!!! But then again the things I read here about TAPERING scare me as well. I'm sure it SUCKS to!! As far as having a Blog, No I don't have one. Ive never been one that likes to reflect back on what I'm going thru or whats happening to me at a particular time during this ordeal. I feel a blog documents all of that. The things I would of wrote in my Blog if I had one early on would of scared the crap out of me if I would of kept reflecting back and reading any of it. I'm all about looking forward. Not backwards. I don't want to remember any of this if at all possible. So I surly don't want some online diary (Blog) that I can NEVER erase keeping a toll on me day for day. From the people that Ive talked to that went thru this and healed they have all told me they no longer have the raw emotional horror that this gave them while they were going thru this. Its all just really a distant memory. Yes they know they went thru this and it happened. But that's about it. No PTSD or trauma beyond that. Thank god our brains are designed to forget and move on. One day you will be chasing Kangaroos again in Australia. Or maybe even swimming in the ocean with all those Great white sharks you have down there. Sunny days ahead for sure.

 

Rock

[[Co...]]

Hi,

 

There are some other reasons why there aren't more Success Stories posted: the Success Stories board has not always existed (I did move a few older threads there that I came across on other boards), but the vast majority of the Stories there were posted over the past three years (since the SS board was set up). In addition to this, we ask that members wait two months before posting their Success Story.  Often, they have already drifted off from BenzoBuddies, and forget or don't get around to posting their Story. Yes, KRock, there are very many members that have successfully quit benzodiazepines,and  they will often post about this, but don't necessarily get around to posting a Success Story.

[[KR...]]

Colin... I know people that have withdrawn off benzos that come back to this site to support people everyday. Yet still they have never posted a success story. I don't ask them why because I feel maybe they have their reasons. Who knows. I wish they would though. Some of them have been through some real heavy withdrawls and are doing great now. Still wont write a story about how BAD they were and how GOOD they are now. If people could read about their ordeal it would inspire many for sure. But again I'm sure they have there reasons. It seems like other people that I have known who got some good time under theirs belts just vanish. Like this place is the Bermuda Triangle or something. Weird. I just tell myself that I'm sure their OK and living a great life now. Try to keep it positive if you know what I mean. I really don't think these people reinstated because I do believe in my heart they haven't. Most of them were beyond the "Hell Ride" and seemed to have a grip on it. Posting a NEW success story on this site is one of the best things a person can do when their in the clear. I sure wish there were more of them. Ive read about all of them and I need some new reading material.

 

KRock

[[ja...]]

JRock...

 

So true.. I think Success Story's are so important..I mean for the person writing it to.. What a accomplishment. Its so weird tho .When I was suffering I never looked at the success threads. Idk why. I was scared I guess,. And a bit Jealous . I was like so sick and didn't want to upset myself by reading them. That's so messed up of me . Geez . But I know for you its been a Saving Grace!!! That's so good. Cant wait to read yours. I'm gonna look with my hand over my eyes. And open one finger to peek at what you wrote Lmao,.Ill be like O boy here it comes .The Hard Cold Truth!!!! LOL

 

Kidding I cant wait!!!

 

~Jenny