The Long Hold Support Group

[[ja...]]

when you are trying to stabilize, how often to you have to dose?

 

It depends on the benzo. I think twice/day is typical for Valium. Some people do OK on once/day. Once you decide what dosing schedule works for you, stick with it. Don't make changes. The brain likes predictability.

 

Hi garderner,

thank you for this.

i am not new to holding. i read your post in 2016 and it gave me the courage to hold. i held for 4 months after i came off lunesta and xanax at the hospital in 2016- i was severly depressed and had akatasia and was put back on valium and lexapro which i successfully tapered in 2019.

 

right now, i am so unstable that i need to dose often to calm down my anxiety.

 

i am worried about permanent damage from CT and kindling.

i wish i could feel okay on valium and that my symptoms like heart palps, burning and morning panic drop away with the hold

 

Valium has a very long half life. Most people only need to dose twice/day on it. Have you been to the Valium Support Group? It might be good to see how often others dose. I'm sure there are others on this thread who take Valium who could also share.

 

One reason I crossed from Xanax to Librium was so I didn't have to dose so often. I found that dosing many times/day made me always think about my taper. I really needed to have many hours in the day that I was not thinking about it. Distraction is very important.

 

Read success stories. People have recovered from CT.

 

Distract. Your brain is caught in a worrying loop being fed by tapering too fast. Distraction will help it get out.

 

thank you gardener! you are gold!

[[Ma...]]

Thank you for posting that Gardie, I just asked begood if she would.  Let me tell her you have posted.

Lots of movement on Long Hold right now and people are really stepping up to help each other.  :D

LY Gardie 🙋🏼🙋🏼. 💜😘🙏😷

[[ja...]]

"Small steps but thats how it is done. I understand the fear. It has kept me frim doing the simplest of things over the course of this tapering process. But you can take back control. Have confidence in you ur self first. Accept dont fight. What we resist persists and what we accept eventually fades. You are going to be fine.

I think everything we experience in this withdrawal is caused by fear and anxiety but heightened 100 times because of withdrawal. All these pains and numbness and crazy thoughts etc. are experienced by people in anxious states who are not even on any medication. Once we accept that these sensations are only exaggerated anxious thoughts and sensations we can force our bodies if not our minds to move. Eventually we bypass the fear response and our normal levels resume.It has been done by others and it can be done by us too. Accept, float through it and let time pass."

 

do you guys think that this is true and not nerve or neural damage?

i am thinking about burning sensation

[[Ma...]]

Jasmine, I think 95% of the time, it's withdrawal.  Of course, we can't just assume it's always withdrawal.  I have been on here 3 years, and have seen so many people get test after test, including myself at times, and they come back negative, it was withdrawal.  Now, sometimes, just to hear from the Dr, it's not anything is worth going just so you can quit worrying, but imo, it's mostly withdrawal symptoms.  🙋🏼🙋🏼. 💜🙏😘😷

[[ja...]]

marie,

i meant that the paragraph said that most of it are amplified symptoms of anxiety.

my question is that "can they be irreversible nerve damage" like actual damage and not just withdrawal that will go away.

[[Ma...]]

marie,

i meant that the paragraph said that most of it are amplified symptoms of anxiety.

my question is that "can they be irreversible nerve damage" like actual damage and not just withdrawal that will go away.

 

You can never say they can't be , but it's much much more likely it's not, it's withdrawal.

 

I have something I will post, to me, it gives you a picture of all the things going on as you heal.

Let me find it

[[Ma...]]

Jasmine

 

parker post:

 

A paragraph from Parkers post, explained so well

 

The process to reverse this takes a while.  GABA receptors have to UPregulate and effectively "reopen" or "grow back".  Glutamate receptors must DOWNregulate, or effectively "turn off" or "prune back".  And IN this mix, all the smaller monoamines (neurotransmitters like serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine) must somehow find a way to synthesize in the mix.  Through weeks and months the body is rebuildling millions of neurons, and changing pathways, rebuilding GABA, downregulating Glutamate, rebuilding serotonin, rebuilding dopamine, rebuilding norepinephrine.  And ALL the enzymes and hormones that need to be made are attempting to be made while this is going on.  Basically- you have a building where the MAJOR streel structures are trying to be rebuilt at different times - ALL while people are coming and going in the building and attempting to work.

[[ga...]]

Thank you for posting that Gardie, I just asked begood if she would.  Let me tell her you have posted.

Lots of movement on Long Hold right now and people are really stepping up to help each other.  :D

LY Gardie 🙋🏼🙋🏼. 💜😘🙏😷

 

Begood is a great long hold success story!

[[Ma...]]

Thank you for posting that Gardie, I just asked begood if she would.  Let me tell her you have posted.

Lots of movement on Long Hold right now and people are really stepping up to help each other.  :D

LY Gardie 🙋🏼🙋🏼. 💜😘🙏😷

 

Begood is a great long hold success story!

 

, Yes she is 

[[Me...]]

Jasmine- you asked several posts back what my “tolerable” symptoms are: mild nausea, anxiety, muscle weakness, mild DR, headaches.  I had dizziness and panic attack last week on the evening Maggie was euthanized and the night after.  But I know that was traumatic stress.  My first pet.  And put my caregiving to my mom on that.  So I have to take all that into consideration.  I’m not living in the most supportive, calm, stress free environment so I have the stakes rigged against me.  I gotta take that into consideration which is why I started a micro taper.  So once the initial grieving process is stable and I do some emotional and spiritual work body/mind work we’ll see where I’m at and maybe or maybe not start to SLOWLY micro-taper again and do intermittent holds, because even though Valium has a long half life, there is that lag time and I think it’s about a two week lag time, for me, to start feeling some discomfort.  Slow microtaper and holds. 

 

I think, in my opinion and experience, going back to 9 and hold there for a while-several months or more, idk.  You have a lot of history and stuff going on with your body you may need quite a bit of time to stabilize.  But YOU WILL. You’re gonna be ok.  You will.  Just ride the wave.  And when you feel like you’re falling apart, lovingly tell yourself, “it’s just symptoms, that’s all.  It will pass.  I’m ok. I’m safe.  It sucks and it’s hard but I’m going to be ok.” 

 

Love you 😍 tons,

Meems

[[ja...]]

yes, but begood never re-instated.

 

also, about Parker... she is back on benzo too, never fully recovered.

[[ja...]]

Jasmine- you asked several posts back what my “tolerable” symptoms are: mild nausea, anxiety, muscle weakness, mild DR, headaches.  I had dizziness and panic attack last week on the evening Maggie was euthanized and the night after.  But I know that was traumatic stress.  My first pet.  And put my caregiving to my mom on that.  So I have to take all that into consideration.  I’m not living in the most supportive, calm, stress free environment so I have the stakes rigged against me.  I gotta take that into consideration which is why I started a micro taper.  So once the initial grieving process is stable and I do some emotional and spiritual work body/mind work we’ll see where I’m at and maybe or maybe not start to SLOWLY micro-taper again and do intermittent holds, because even though Valium has a long half life, there is that lag time and I think it’s about a two week lag time, for me, to start feeling some discomfort.  Slow microtaper and holds. 

 

I think, in my opinion and experience, going back to 9 and hold there for a while-several months or more, idk.  You have a lot of history and stuff going on with your body you may need quite a bit of time to stabilize.  But YOU WILL. You’re gonna be ok.  You will.  Just ride the wave.  And when you feel like you’re falling apart, lovingly tell yourself, “it’s just symptoms, that’s all.  It will pass.  I’m ok. I’m safe.  It sucks and it’s hard but I’m going to be ok.” 

 

Love you 😍 tons,

Meems

 

thanks Meems, love you back

 

[[Me...]]

Jasmine- are you scared about or regret re-instating?

[[De...]]

Jas,

I get like you. It's like your mind keeps thinking of the worst case scenario. We all think we are somehow different. We are the worst. Sooo many ppl on here do the same thing. It's the withdrawal. It's not true! I swear. You are going to heal. It takes time. I'm soo much better. I hardly think the way you are thinking anymore. I still have my freak outs here and there. I believe we are all going to heal. You need to believe it too. We need so much reassurance going through this. The anxiety is insane! The what ifs, the but this and but that's. It could go on forever. All you do is drive yourself crazy and it makes your sx soo much worse. Dont listen to those thoughts. Get up and say no I'm not doing this I'm tired and do something else. Watch anxiety videos. Do something you like. If you can take a walk, its  ,ears your headband relieves anxiety. All the negative thoughts you are thinking is wd. Read so e positive affirmations. Your going to be ok.

[[ja...]]

Jasmine- are you scared about or regret re-instating?

 

yes, but i had no choice.

i am scared that my DMT taper will be 100x harder than it was already the last time.

at this point, i just pray that i can stay on valium for the rest of my life and not build tolerance.

or maybe get hit by a car before tolerance set in.

 

[[ja...]]

Jas,

I get like you. It's like your mind keeps thinking of the worst case scenario. We all think we are somehow different. We are the worst. Sooo many ppl on here do the same thing. It's the withdrawal. It's not true! I swear. You are going to heal. It takes time. I'm soo much better. I hardly think the way you are thinking anymore. I still have my freak outs here and there. I believe we are all going to heal. You need to believe it too. We need so much reassurance going through this. The anxiety is insane! The what ifs, the but this and but that's. It could go on forever. All you do is drive yourself crazy and it makes your sx soo much worse. Dont listen to those thoughts. Get up and say no I'm not doing this I'm tired and do something else. Watch anxiety videos. Do something you like. If you can take a walk, its  ,ears your headband relieves anxiety. All the negative thoughts you are thinking is wd. Read so e positive affirmations. Your going to be ok.

 

thanks D.

i think the lexapro is kicking in. i was so obsessed with the meds, now it feels like my mind can't stick to the fear of the meds.

[[De...]]

I know, it's ok. Its gets very  scary. The Meds are going to help you taper of. Just stick to your dose. I know you feel crappy and I'm sure the new med is making you feel more anxious. Your going to be ok. The Valium took you out of what you were in before and you seemed much better. So it's working. We are probably all in tolerance. I know I am for sure! I went of back on polydrugged upped them lowered them and I'm still here! You are too. You are going to be ok. Just think about what you need to do to stabilize. Dont look to far in the future and worry about your taper. I cant even think about my next cut now. We all get nervous about tapering. Take it o e day at a time. You made it through today and you will make it through tomorrow.

[[Me...]]

Jasmine- are you scared about or regret re-instating?

 

yes, but i had no choice.

i am scared that my DMT taper will be 100x harder than it was already the last time.

at this point, i just pray that i can stay on valium for the rest of my life and not build tolerance.

or maybe get hit by a car before tolerance set in.

 

Oh sweetheart it’s all ok.  You’re doing the best you can.  We all are.  I totally agree with DD’s post.  We all have that fear and anxiety and the “what if’s.”  We gotta stay in the moment and trust that it’s all ok.  I have the health fears, like I have a brain tumor or damage to my heart or what if I have a stroke or heart attack.  It’s all withdrawal because I hear it from all of us.  How can you all be wrong?  Ha.  Here’s a tool.  When your thinking and anxiety starts getting the best of you, just look at your feet. In this moment, right here right now you are OK.  You are doing the best you can.  We all are.  I have a spiritual higher power.  Call it God, the angels or whatever.  I call it God.  That’s just for me.  I have a post it note on my scale.  It says “if life brought you to it, God will get you through it.”  Youtube has a lot of good stuff.  Have you heard of Baylissa? 

[[Tr...]]

Hello kids! I'm thinking of dry micro tapering for a few days just to eek down a tad bit more. Here's what I'm thinking. The current weight of my tapered pill is 112  so I'm thinking I'll go to 111 tonight and then tomorrow 110 etc.. dropping by 1 digit in weight everyday for a few days. Good idea or no?? Anybody? I hope the above mentioned is dry micro?? IDK but that's what ima gonna do!

Trisssssshhhhhyyyyyy ..  :laugh:

[[Me...]]

Hello kids! I'm thinking of dry micro tapering for a few days just to eek down a tad bit more. Here's what I'm thinking. The current weight of my tapered pill is 112  so I'm thinking I'll go to 111 tonight and then tomorrow 110 etc.. dropping by 1 digit in weight everyday for a few days. Good idea or no?? Anybody? I hope the above mentioned is dry micro?? IDK but that's what ima gonna do!

Trisssssshhhhhyyyyyy ..  :laugh:

 

How are you feeling right now?  You feeling pretty stable? 

[[Ma...]]

Hello kids! I'm thinking of dry micro tapering for a few days just to eek down a tad bit more. Here's what I'm thinking. The current weight of my tapered pill is 112  so I'm thinking I'll go to 111 tonight and then tomorrow 110 etc.. dropping by 1 digit in weight everyday for a few days. Good idea or no?? Anybody? I hope the above mentioned is dry micro?? IDK but that's what ima gonna do!

Trisssssshhhhhyyyyyy ..  :laugh:

 

How are you feeling right now?  You feeling pretty stable?

 

Always the best question to ask our Trishy 

[[Tr...]]

Hello kids! I'm thinking of dry micro tapering for a few days just to eek down a tad bit more. Here's what I'm thinking. The current weight of my tapered pill is 112  so I'm thinking I'll go to 111 tonight and then tomorrow 110 etc.. dropping by 1 digit in weight everyday for a few days. Good idea or no?? Anybody? I hope the above mentioned is dry micro?? IDK but that's what ima gonna do!

Trisssssshhhhhyyyyyy ..  :laugh:

 

How are you feeling right now?  You feeling pretty stable?

I think so Meems! My palps have calmed down 🤫 don't want to say that to loud 😳

[[Tr...]]

Hello kids! I'm thinking of dry micro tapering for a few days just to eek down a tad bit more. Here's what I'm thinking. The current weight of my tapered pill is 112  so I'm thinking I'll go to 111 tonight and then tomorrow 110 etc.. dropping by 1 digit in weight everyday for a few days. Good idea or no?? Anybody? I hope the above mentioned is dry micro?? IDK but that's what ima gonna do!

Trisssssshhhhhyyyyyy ..  :laugh:

 

How are you feeling right now?  You feeling pretty stable?

 

Always the best question to ask our Trishy 

Ok you're side splitting funny here Mary    :laugh:

[[ja...]]

haven't slept much. the nightime adrenaline surges are raging with burning- will they calm down when you hold? i re-updose to 9mg yesterday. would it get better with the lag time?

anyone had that and it went away?

 

i read about a woman on here who still has it 5 years out and only sleep 3 hours at night.

can't go on like this- i have all kinds of dark thoughts when they happen.

 

please help. is this a lifetime sentence?

[[ja...]]

also the faith group is so scary, too many suffering