The Long Hold Support Group

[[bo...]]

Breaks my heart to read all that about your Mom. I'm glad she's holding and has a pdoc who isn't pushing her.

I can tell you that when I was in some serious wd from cutting way too much way to fast one of my many, many sxs was feeling spaced out or more like disconnected and withdrawn if that makes any sense. It's pretty common I think, it's almost like your brain is protecting you from the trauma of the severe wd and it's trying to cope with the wd and trauma. I remember being very quiet and also having a hard time finding my words. So maybe that's part of why your Mom is mute as you say at times.

Xanax is a tough one to get off of. I was on 3 mgs at one time and now I'm slightly under 1 mg as of May 31 🙏🏻 I have a long way to go and it's going to take a few more years sadly but it is what it is.

Don't ever feel like your rambling here, we're all happy to support and listen anytime.

You take care, your Mom is lucky to have you.

Trishy❤️

 

Thank you Trishy. I'm usually reluctant to post unless i really have to (out of desperation for answers) because I know alot of people on BB are already suffering from such intense fear and anxiety from BWD... hopefully what I wrote so far hasnt been too triggering. Today I have good news though

 

I kinda freaked out this morning because when i went in to wake her up this morning, the area around her spleen felt abit hard and bloated, and when i asked her if she felt pain in the area, she wouldn't respond at all. I panicked and realised how dangerous her mutism was especially if she's not able to verbalise / cognitively recognise any pain or discomfort she's feeling, that we may end up with some serious health issues that aren't being addressed due to us not being made aware. Seriously considered if we should really send her for ECT. (We have a slot for tomorrow the hospital reserved for us).

 

But then in the afternoon, another miracle happened that made me realize I needed to calm down... My brother called to check in on her... we usually pass her the phone so she can hear his voice even if she doesnt reply, but today she did which was a surprise. Even spoke afew words to me after she hung up the phone, but reverted back to non-verbal communication soon after. At least I got some insights to her condition, every bit of interaction is a tiny insight into what's going on. I found out from interacting with her after she had some fruits that she's probably having trouble with noun retrieval, so that's probably what's going on with her muteness as well. She mistook kiwi for watermelon. Her level of awareness and comprehension with regards to what we tell her is pretty good, so I don't think it's confusion, coz when she was talking more back in may/june I did recognise her problems with nouns too. I did also get non-verbal confirmation that she doesn't feel discomfort or pain around her spleen, and I realise I was probably pressing on part of her ribcage and freaking out. 

 

She also confirmed non-verbally that she doesn't want ECT and that she'd like me to cancel tomorrow's session so that's what i'm gonna be doing. She still having alot of dp/dr and fear though... which I suppose I just have to wait for it to pass, like all her other symptoms. If you don't mind sharing, how long after your cold turkey/reinstatement did you start becoming less spaced out / more functional? I was hoping this wouldn't be an issue by now but it's been a crazy year... and we have to account for the missing 3.25mg that she was cold turkeyed off and then the rocky reinstatement for the first few months, so it's only been about 7 months of truly holding. It's hard to continue to having blind faith that she will stabilize on the hold, and to resist the urge to start tapering her, but I suppose it's safer to hold her for another few more months instead of risking further destabilizing her and running into trouble if we start tapering now. There're still 3 more pills of the generic drug to switch out anyway, so probably not wise to taper now. Gosh, cant believe a generic drug switch can throw her off so much.

 

Anyway, congrats on going down so much on your Xanax! I get the sense that you've come to terms and gain acceptance of the process, for that I'm happy for you. It's definitely not easy, even as a caretaker, to find acceptance... even now it's so surreal to find out how much damage these drugs cause to our bodies.

 

Oh boo, I am so sorry. I was ctd a few yrs ago. I had no idea what was wrong with me. I knew it was not me though. I went for help and was dismissed and polydrugged. Everytime I mentioned the benzo I was told no. This went on for 3 yrs till i got here. At one point at the er the dr said ect. I flipped out and said no. So much to it. I cant even talk about it much. Not to mention family didnt believe me and I was insulted and put down sndexpe Ted to work. I did work and it was horrible. Anyway, I'm glad you are here. If she wasn't like this pre benzo then it's most likely the benzo. She's lucky to have you.

 

Hi Dehytq2, so sorry to hear what you went through. I can't imagine having to work and go through BWD... I hope things are more manageable for you now.

 

I was actually polydrugged too back in 2008 for about 2 years... benzos, atypical antipsychotics, SSRIs, mood stabilizers. Had 15 sessions of ECT done to me. I suppose it did save my life, but I can't help but think that it probably didnt need saving if I wasn't so horribly polydrugged.  Instead they taught me to accept the label they put on me (Bipolar type II), and to take responsibility for my behaviour. Eventually I just learnt to act and say whatever they wanted me to do/say in order to convince the pdoc to get me off pills, acting all fine while feeling horribly sick. I didn't know what was wrong at that time either, and was prepared to live like that the rest of my life, horribly miserable. Figured if I was miserable without pills, and miserable on them, might as well get off them. I did get slowly better without the drugs, and life became more enjoyable around 2 years later, so reading about these drugs now to help my mum is giving me some insight to what probably happened to me back then, so yea, I understand what it's like to be polydrugged and dismissed like that. I wasn't on the benzo for long though (I think? it's the only record I don't have) so I wasn't as crippled by the effects of coming off it, I suppose. So angry that pdocs use ECT as a crutch when they mess up the polydrugging and then call it 'treatment resistant'... but I'm glad you were ok enough to reject ECT. It reliefs symptoms quickly but it doesn't last... and then begins the slippery slope of maintenance ECT. But i'm rambling again 

 

Anyway, I remember when we last spoke you were dealing with intense muscle issues. Hopefully there's been some relief for you now?

 

Btw, thank you for replying to my thread back then, and pointing me to this support group;

I was so frantically searching for answers then that I don't remember if I thanked everyone that tried to help.

I'm lucky to have found a place where I can find answers... can't imagine where we'd be if I didn't.

Only thing I regret was not paying closer attention to benzobuddies /ashton manual within the first week of her C/T when I first came across it...

because I didn't recognise that the benzo she was on back then(nordiazepam) was a benzo... and ended up obsessing over reading about withdrawal from olanzapine which she was also C/T-ed from as well at the same time. 

I only came back to BB after we hospitalized her and they put her on valium/diazepam... and BB / the ashton manual came up again when I googled diazepam. Only then did everything made sense.

 

===

Update: I brought her down for a walk, and went to the supermarket! Fatigue's more manageable today.

She said afew words to me there(yay). I think it was because the music was very loud.. and it heightened her awareness.

I'm starting to think that increase situational anxiety that requires her presence is switching her from freeze mode to fight or flight.

 

Maybe her being in dp/dr isn't that bad if it helps her heal. The amount of work the body is putting into repairing the CNS must be tremendous, and i don't think it's unreasonable at all for the brain to shut off certain functions it doesnt think it needs at the moment, nor is it unreasonable to experience fatigue. Still, not pleasant to experience or witness I suppose, but I don't see why I need to interfere with that process using ECT. Hopefully the pdoc will agree with me when I speak to her tmr. My observations of her so far is validating some of the things a user named spartacus wrote about on dp/dr, as well as what trishy mentioned above... so hopefully that's what it is. That window she had on tuesday/wed was so surreal though... witnessing her personality emerge just like that and all her circuits coming back up one by one... she was almost back to herself by wed night before the window closed. Amazed at how much she still retained despite being half functional/mostly offline since May.

 

Wish I could take the dp/dr away as well as the intense fear she still feels that I found out via non-verbal confirmation. But there's also been so many things that have improved since last year which I have to be grateful for.

 

Have a great Sunday everyone!

 

Edit: Content

[[bo...]]

Morning Boo you can stalk here anytime honey we don't mind 😘. Listen l have read through your post and looking at your signature as far as l can see your mum was col d turkeyed  off olanzapine which is an antipsychotic I think that is the reason for her catatonic episodes.It probably is more common with ap when discontinued quickly however it can also happen with benzos and any psychotropic drugNow the doctors really seem to have caused your mother a lot of hardship and that is putting it mildly.

  Windows come and go very quickly that seems to be the way they work.l think your mum really needs to hold for a very long time.lf she continues to deteriorate l don't think you have much of an option but to go with the treatment however l really hope she starts to communicate with you.

  Talk to us anytime honey you have been through the ringer as well my love and you need support as much as your mother does.l am sure she is very proud of you.love to you.X

 

Morning Stut, I remmeber talking to you back then too. 

 

The pdoc thinks the olanzapine was of low dose and was safe to discontinue (of course, I disagree... I wish I could have tapered her instead.. but I wasn't in the picture when all that happened)

I did do extensive research on catatonia, or at least whatever I could find on google... and it seems the one antipsychotic most associated with the withdrawal of the clozapine, as well as rapid withdrawal from benzos, not so much the other anti-psychotics. In fact, antipsychotic use during catatonia is very dangerous as it's also known to exacerbate the catatonia, although some such as olanzapine have been used to successfully treat catatonia in some case studies... while it made some others worse, so they do so with caution. It's almost a year since that cold turkey though... so it's something we just have to live with now I suppose. Too far out to reinstate. It did give her Tardive Dyskinesia with chewing movements / rapid eye blinking when she discontinued it... but it was less noticeable during her one window / back when we finished her ECT... so it's something I hope will go away with stabilization and successful withdrawal and recovery from benzos, coz right now the dopamine system is just haywired.. which is what's contributing to these sx i think. She's more alert today and the TD is less noticeable.. but it's probably not the most worrisome symptom right now.

 

I think she's stabilizing... just me freaking out since she's been pretty much the same since May, after the effects of the ECT wore out. In fact, we did see some improvement to her morning and evening akathisia in june, so I was familiar with waves and windows of specific symptoms over a longer period of time, but to see such a big window like that out of the sudden, right after a huge wave that scared us into thinking she might be going into catatonia again, that's kinda surreal to witness.

 

Anyway, i think it's just fatigue now and not catatonia. and the mutism is probably dp/dr. her muscles don't freeze up and turn rigid like they did last year, and she's pretty lucid and aware of what's going on around her when she's awake. Probably just needed rest from the effects of the generic pill swap, as well as overexertion from the big window. She seems to be bouncing back today... but 1 more week before I have to do a generic switch for the 2nd pill. fingers crossed.

 

Thank you so much for the concern and the support.

I hope you're doing well too and have improved since last year! you're so close to the finish line!

[[ja...]]

Hi jasmine,

I get anxiety like that too. Its def a sx. I am anxious but this is rediculous. I try to not feed into the negative scary thoughts running through my head. Distract, walk, meditate. I catch myself and so no that's not going to happen. I will get better.

 

even after a long hold you get this anxious?

[[ja...]]

Anyone not feeling anxious and stable on long term valium?

[[De...]]

Wow bonanza! I have tears in my eyes reading your story. I feel like I was reading my own. I kept doubting myself thinking it wasn't the benzo because everyone kept saying no. It makes me so angry that this happens to people. It's ok you had ect. You still heal even if you so and even if yourbpolydrugged. You are not triggering me. We hear it all and be3n through alot he tr e. I'm glad you found bb and this group. I ramble myseld.. lol. That is great news about your mom! I wonder if she can write. Maybe she could or get some of those letter magnets she can spell out. She is in there somewhere. I would say keep holding. She's been through so much. Maybe take her outside in the sun, oops you did. Play music. Maybe her favorite songs, pictures. I'm just throwing things out there that might get her brain chemicals feeling better, if that makes sense. Things she likes and remembers. Hang in there, shecwill heal.

[[De...]]

Hi jasmine, unfortunately benzo wd isn't easy. I wish I was sx free, it seems like once the wd gets going for so m.h e ppl you have to learn how to cope with the sx.ni know it sucks. I know for me the only way is off. They dont work for me anymore,  I feel no sedating effects. Who knows m.h maybe for u if you hold your sx wont be as bad as others. We are all different. I'm anxious by nature so this has been hard for me too. You just find ways to work on your anxiety and when you panic about not healing and being stuck this way forever re m.h ember it not true. The wd mind thinks this way. I have learned to ignore it. I do good for a while and then I fall on my face again You just keep going. If you need reassurance teach out. I wish there was a quick fix for this believe me its horrible. I'm so much better though than I was. You will be too.

[[De...]]

Sorry about the typos, lol. You will get use to it. I do it all the time. Anxiety!!! Ugh

[[De...]]

Hi v,

I feel spaced out today. Not sure what that means. I hope it's not depression. How are your sx`?? I'm hoping if we get a 2nd wave we all have more experience than the first time around. Maybe it wont be as bad. I sure hope so. I hope your muscles aren't to bad. I'm icing now. Oh, my hair is like a brown with blond highlights! Its growing long too! I might let it keep going. I didn't get my haircut for so long being in wd. I kinda like it!!

 

I cant keep up. Hahaa. Kinda spacy today.

 

Did anyone hear about the UFO? I'm serious

[[ja...]]

Sorry about the typos, lol. You will get use to it. I do it all the time. Anxiety!!! Ugh

 

i can't see myself living with this chemical anxiety- please tell me that it will lessen once I stabilize

[[De...]]

Yes, it will. You just have to give it time. Mine is not half as bad as it was. It's going to go away. It wont be so severe.

[[De...]]

Its going to lesson. Just give it time. You are going to be ok.

[[ja...]]

thank you, D.

it is like having 3 panic attacks in a day- day 9 of re-instatement.

 

[[ki...]]

Sorry about the typos, lol. You will get use to it. I do it all the time. Anxiety!!! Ugh

 

i can't see myself living with this chemical anxiety- please tell me that it will lessen once I stabilize

 

It takes time, but it will get better. It won’t feel so intense. Little by little you’ll feel better and then one day it will dawn on you that it’s either way more manageable or gone all together.

[[De...]]

I know Jas, it happens. It's going to get better. Take it one day at a time. 

[[ja...]]

as long as it goes down. right now i feel like i am having a heart attack.

i can't live like this until i am off the valium. (in 10 years)

[[va...]]

Hi v,

I feel spaced out today. Not sure what that means. I hope it's not depression. How are your sx`?? I'm hoping if we get a 2nd wave we all have more experience than the first time around. Maybe it wont be as bad. I sure hope so. I hope your muscles aren't to bad. I'm icing now. Oh, my hair is like a brown with blond highlights! Its growing long too! I might let it keep going. I didn't get my haircut for so long being in wd. I kinda like it!!

 

I cant keep up. Hahaa. Kinda spacy today.

 

Did anyone hear about the UFO? I'm serious

 

Hi Suzy! Well I'm glad your shoulder is better and I feel exactly like you describe in another post above to Jasmine. I'm never not anxious, never in a window. But I know I'll never be fine on this but I have to go so slowly to stay functional so it's like a prison. We have no choice. We'll do our time. I just hope it's not a life sentence.

 

I'm sure you look extra pretty with your new hairdo. Let it grow. Mine's always quite long. I don't like short hair to be honest. I'm not sure I know this spaced out feeling. I think I don't have that one. How's your mouth? Any better? I'm try to do very soft exercise now because I stopped for months due to extreme muscle contractures and pain but my legs are so weak they have a hard time climbing one flight of stairs, and I'm only 52. I mean... I'm off to exercise and then dinner, wash hair etc, etc. I hope you get better. Is spaced out better than depressed or anxious? Funny how we want to chose between different kinds of hell. Well, I'm glad my hell is no longer like it was last summer anyway. I'd like to be off so that the CT danger is no longer there, but I can't speed up or I'll end up in the same place. Accept is all I can do. You have a good afternoon. See you soon 

[[Me...]]

Hey all - having some weird physical sxs today.  Shaky weak legs.  Stress related and Benzo wd has made me have muscle loss.  It’s imperative I walk and do some strength exercises. 

 

Boo - my heart breaks to hear you’re struggles with your mom.  I take care of my elderly mom and she fell this morning.  My cat died 7 days ago and then my mom fell this morning.  Ugh!  But I take it a day at a time.  You are so strong 💪

 

Jasmine - YES you will feel better once you stabilize from holding.  For me, the initial period after a wd sxs kick in after a cut are hard.  Anxiety is bad.  Benzo flu.  Weakness. DR. Mood swings.  Ugh.  But it gets better once my blood level and brain stabilizes.  One thing that helps me is a clean diet.  Especially foods that do not contain chemicals or anything that elevates glutamate in my brain. And no caffeine!    With the anxiety, I just got to “ride the wave”.  For me, holding works.  It levels out.  I have natural life stress in my life and it sucks and pisses me off because I’m going through this Benzo taper but just go through it a day at a time.  Acceptance and normalizing the feelings helps.  Self talk, “ok Meems it’s just symptoms, it will pass.  It has before it will again.”  I tapered fast from 10mg to 5mg and it caught up to me.  I held and I stabilized.  Hit a bump at first of the year and wow I had sxs.  But I don’t feel as bad as I did when I started my hold in August.  I’m holding now and I don’t know how long it will be.  Just breathe and take it a minute at a time.  Normalize it.  It’s just Benzo wd and it won’t kill you.  Millions of people have gotten off this shit.  In many different ways but for me, cut and long holds work. 

 

I’m so sorry to hear about physical pain some of you are experiencing.  And the uncertainty about COVID and the economy.  Ugh.  But we went through a global recession in 2008/9 and we got through it.  We will again with a new US government.  💙

 

Lots of love to you all

Meems

 

Love,

Meems

[[De...]]

Thx v,

That's just how it is. The anxiety. It gets less. As long as it's not severe like u had last Summer. That was terrible. You are soooooo much better. I didnt realize how bad your pain was. My legs were so soooooo bad. I swear I thought it would never get better. It has though. Light excercise, walking. Terrible drug. It's such a common sx. Plus, being homebound and stressed didnt help. We just have to keep holding and we are done when we are done. Tha5s all we can do.

 

Your hair sound pretty too! My hair is wavy, curly, and gets frizzy, ugh. I can straighten it with the blow dryer or lately it's to much, I just let it curl up, lol. Spaced out, kind of like I cant think and feel off. It could be the heat. I tr s very hot and humid,been like this for a month! Ibetits hot were you are too. Just accept the process and one say we will be free.

[[Me...]]

Thx v,

That's just how it is. The anxiety. It gets less. As long as it's not severe like u had last Summer. That was terrible. You are soooooo much better. I didnt realize how bad your pain was. My legs were so soooooo bad. I swear I thought it would never get better. It has though. Light excercise, walking. Terrible drug. It's such a common sx. Plus, being homebound and stressed didnt help. We just have to keep holding and we are done when we are done. Tha5s all we can do.

 

Your hair sound pretty too! My hair is wavy, curly, and gets frizzy, ugh. I can straighten it with the blow dryer or lately it's to much, I just let it curl up, lol. Spaced out, kind of like I cant think and feel off. It could be the heat. I tr s very hot and humid,been like this for a month! Ibetits hot were you are too. Just accept the process and one say we will be free.

 

DD - were your muscles atrophied from Benzo? 

[[De...]]

Hi meems,

I felt like they were. They take forever to build up. Eventually they bounce back. It takes time, it's not like we can go to the gym. Ugh. I'm sorry ur sx are bad. I hope you get some relief very soon! 

[[...]]

I remember Oscar from when I first started posting In 2015. I'd like to think he tapered successfully and no longer felt the need to visit BB. I took a 3 year break because things were going pretty smoothly. Now that I'm about to tackle my last 1 mg I'm back because I need all the support I can get. I guess what I'm trying to say is just because someone stops posting doesn't mean things went badly for them.

 

thanks JWL,

your words are so reassuring

were you prescribed valium for anxiety?

 

i am at 9 days after the re-instatement- the sleep has been better.

i had the most loveliest dream, slept 7 hours and woke up, realizing that i was back on valium and had a surge of anxiety.

 

i don't mind being on 2mg to taper for few years but 9mg is high specially that i have kindled so many times and i know that every drop will be painful.

 

when I don't take my dose on time, my hand shakes. do you guys feel this bad all the time? or is it just because i am stabilizing?

i hope it will get better with time. i have a heavy feeling sitting on my chest. and i feel terribly fragile. SI is still in my mind.

i text my spych everyday. she is very supportive and wants me to take all my time to stabilize, she doesn't care how many years i will stay on it- she has treated me for 4 years now.

 

Yes Jasmine, I got put on Valium for anxiety. I had several bad concussions which resulted in glutamate storms and my health went downhill from there: (fibromyalgia, CF, depression and anxiety). Looking back I can't believe I was able to live a productive life and work until retirement.

 

It's wonderful you're able to sleep 7-8 hours. That's probably the best thing for your body/mind. I'm happy if I get 6-7.

 

I wouldn't think about tapering or stress about how long your taper is going to be. I know it's hard to do because your anxiety is putting you into panic mode

 

 

[[Me...]]

Hi meems,

I felt like they were. They take forever to build up. Eventually they bounce back. It takes time, it's not like we can go to the gym. Ugh. I'm sorry ur sx are bad. I hope you get some relief very soon! 

 

Oh even if we didn’t have COVID I couldn’t go to the gym.  I’d have a panic attack.  Too much stimulation and noise.  I wish I could get a massage but I have adrenaline surges with too much stimulation.  Ya I was wondering if the muscles bounce back.  I hear people talking about weight gain but I’ve had the opposite.  That could just be the life stress too.  Idk.  It’s all so bizarre.  Unless I’m in stabilization, it’s like each day is, “oh this weird” or “this sucks I have Benzo flu” or “oh here we go again with anxiety and panic.”  Ugh ugh ugh ugh. 

[[Me...]]

I remember Oscar from when I first started posting In 2015. I'd like to think he tapered successfully and no longer felt the need to visit BB. I took a 3 year break because things were going pretty smoothly. Now that I'm about to tackle my last 1 mg I'm back because I need all the support I can get. I guess what I'm trying to say is just because someone stops posting doesn't mean things went badly for them.

 

thanks JWL,

your words are so reassuring

were you prescribed valium for anxiety?

 

i am at 9 days after the re-instatement- the sleep has been better.

i had the most loveliest dream, slept 7 hours and woke up, realizing that i was back on valium and had a surge of anxiety.

 

i don't mind being on 2mg to taper for few years but 9mg is high specially that i have kindled so many times and i know that every drop will be painful.

 

when I don't take my dose on time, my hand shakes. do you guys feel this bad all the time? or is it just because i am stabilizing?

i hope it will get better with time. i have a heavy feeling sitting on my chest. and i feel terribly fragile. SI is still in my mind.

i text my spych everyday. she is very supportive and wants me to take all my time to stabilize, she doesn't care how many years i will stay on it- she has treated me for 4 years now.

 

Yes Jasmine, I got put on Valium for anxiety. I had several bad concussions which resulted in glutamate storms and my health went downhill from there: (fibromyalgia, CF, depression and anxiety). Looking back I can't believe I was able to live a productive life and work until retirement.

 

It's wonderful you're able to sleep 7-8 hours. That's probably the best thing for your body/mind. I'm happy if I get 6-7.

 

I wouldn't think about tapering or stress about how long your taper is going to be. I know it's hard to do because your anxiety is putting you into panic mode

 

JWL - hi, I’m Meems.  Thanks for the reminder about not to worry or stress about how long taper will be.  It just causes more anxiety especially for obsessive “future trippers” like me. Yes the glutamate overload in my brain sometimes I can almost feel the glutamate firing off.  My brain is messed up cause I had two convulsions from a failed attempt at cold turkey off Klonopin.  Some people can cold turkey.  Not me.

[[...]]

I know what you mean Meems. When I was in bad shape I had a hard time going to the gym too. The noise, music... and I felt everyone was staring at me or thought there was something wrong with me.

[[...]]

I remember Oscar from when I first started posting In 2015. I'd like to think he tapered successfully and no longer felt the need to visit BB. I took a 3 year break because things were going pretty smoothly. Now that I'm about to tackle my last 1 mg I'm back because I need all the support I can get. I guess what I'm trying to say is just because someone stops posting doesn't mean things went badly for them.

 

thanks JWL,

your words are so reassuring

were you prescribed valium for anxiety?

 

i am at 9 days after the re-instatement- the sleep has been better.

i had the most loveliest dream, slept 7 hours and woke up, realizing that i was back on valium and had a surge of anxiety.

 

i don't mind being on 2mg to taper for few years but 9mg is high specially that i have kindled so many times and i know that every drop will be painful.

 

when I don't take my dose on time, my hand shakes. do you guys feel this bad all the time? or is it just because i am stabilizing?

i hope it will get better with time. i have a heavy feeling sitting on my chest. and i feel terribly fragile. SI is still in my mind.

i text my spych everyday. she is very supportive and wants me to take all my time to stabilize, she doesn't care how many years i will stay on it- she has treated me for 4 years now.

 

Yes Jasmine, I got put on Valium for anxiety. I had several bad concussions which resulted in glutamate storms and my health went downhill from there: (fibromyalgia, CF, depression and anxiety). Looking back I can't believe I was able to live a productive life and work until retirement.

 

It's wonderful you're able to sleep 7-8 hours. That's probably the best thing for your body/mind. I'm happy if I get 6-7.

 

I wouldn't think about tapering or stress about how long your taper is going to be. I know it's hard to do because your anxiety is putting you into panic mode

 

JWL - hi, I’m Meems.  Thanks for the reminder about not to worry or stress about how long taper will be.  It just causes more anxiety especially for obsessive “future trippers” like me. Yes the glutamate overload in my brain sometimes I can almost feel the glutamate firing off.  My brain is messed up cause I had two convulsions from a failed attempt at cold turkey off Klonopin.  Some people can cold turkey.  Not me.

 

Sorry to hear that Meems. Yes I've heard of people having convulsions and even seizures, especially with the newer generation benzos. When I CT I was pretty much catatonic and bed ridden for about a week.