The Long Hold Support Group

[[Gu...]]

Men like to fix things. It’s their nature.  Maybe trying to fix BWD makes him feel hopeless.  Poor guy. It’s like trying to plug a dam with your thumb.

[[va...]]

Men like to fix things. It’s their nature.  Maybe trying to fix BWD makes him feel hopeless.  Poor guy. It’s like trying to plug a dam with your thumb.

 

And if either of your men manage to fix bwd PLEASE keep us posted!!

[[Gu...]]

Yeah.  That’s not likely to happen.  And would you really want to deal with a screaming man? 

[[va...]]

Yeah.  That’s not likely to happen.  And would you really want to deal with a screaming man? 

 

If I had to choose between my summer in acute wd or my screeming ex, I'd take the ex. Hard choice though. The problem is when you have to put up with both. But I doubt your BF is as bad as my ex. Really I'm so so so embarrassed for having given my daughter such a disgrace of a father. But he didn't show his true colors until she was born. Until she was one month old to be precise.

 

I'm in a dating site but hardly ever meet anyone. In summer I met up with two blokes from the site, in acute wd  . One was an idiot (the usual kind I attract), the other one was a darling but I felt no chemistry  . I'm really sorry sorry that didn't work out. He was so sweet. We only met three times and he had watched all the bwd YouTube videos and was really concerned. I only feel attracted to monsters as I was raised by one. I hope I can break this conditioning and find a nice partner.

[[Gu...]]

I know how you feel.  I couldn’t wait to get away from my father and every man I date night s him!  What’s up with that.  The good ones tend to bore me.  ugh.

[[Me...]]

Hi all LHSG’ers.  Been off for a couple days.  I think I just wanted to “check out” - isolation is a big wd issue for me.  Depression has hit me.  Been feeling pretty down.  :'(

 

Took my cat to the vet today for her 30 day post hyperthyroidism radioactive treatment.  She’s a senior and has kidney issues too. And she has teeth problem.  I really don’t need this added stress.  As I’ve shared before I also live and take care of my elderly mom.  I’m only 49 (she had me in her 40’s) and I am the only of my siblings local.  I dunno-just on the pity pot- but mental sxs are kicking me. 

 

The tapering process “hold” is getting to me too.  I’ve also shared this before as well.  I’m impatient.  I’m 50% there.  Feels like it will be forever and it just might.  It’s gonna take what it takes. 

 

I’ve just started practicing with Baylissa and utilizing the tools.  Woke up as usual with the anxiety/adrenaline surges.  Did some breathing, prayer and journaling writing a gratitude list.  Grateful it’s warm here in Southern California. 

 

I need to get my hair done too.  😆. I’m a brunette and the RED has faded showing my gray.  Ugh. 

 

Gonna just chill out now and watch TV. 

 

Lots of love to all.  Mwah 😘

~meems

[[De...]]

I do the same thing! Boy, some of ones i picked monsters. I w9nder why that is. My father is quiet and never saw him much. He was working.  My mother was good but she could be critical and insulting. She tried.  You guys are funny. It is probably best you didnt get in a relationship in acute Janice, ahaa

He did sound sweet though. My friend introduced me to Jim

She said she was picking put a good guy. He is a good guy but he yells and i dont liks that. Man. We should just take care of ourselves and get better..the hell with men right know.

[[Gu...]]

Hard to live with them and hard to live without them.

 

I've found I don't do well on my own anymore.  When you isolate cuz of BWD you can go batty all alone.

 

I will have to take my chances and keep a roll of duct tape handy if he gets too mouthy. 

[[Gu...]]

Hope you feel better soon Meems.

[[De...]]

Jaha gp,

I need to get some duct tape. I lnow the beinf alone during the dwy is bad. I am.kind 9f a loner and introvert. But,

Being alone with year own head in this condition is not so good!!

[[Gu...]]

So very true.  I found out the hard way.  Not good.

[[De...]]

Meems,

I am sorry you are feeling so down. I get that way too  This is so hsrd for sll.of us. It is like you are prisoner to a drug. I am really tryimg to work on acceptance. I am just trying to keep reminding myself I am going to heal and you will too.  F8d yoy have an appt with.baylissa? I listen to her sometimes.  She seems so kind . Hang in there. Keep posting. Try not to isolate.  Ly dd

[[De...]]

Me too gp! I really have to stay busy even though it is hard. 

[[Gu...]]

Won't it be wonderful when this is all behind us?

 

I spent a lot if today with the shop vac cleaning up drywall dust in bedroom.  Got a bit carried away cuz it works so well. I cleaned all the closets, behind furniture, Windows.  Went a little overboard.

[[Me...]]

GP - you’re more than welcome to come over to my house and dry vac my house and closets.  😆😆😆

~meems

[[Me...]]

DD- it’s so hard to not isolate.  This drug has made me feel so disconnected from people and life.  I was texting a long distance friend of mine and he suggested getting out going to the bookstore or library because they are quiet.  Even if it’s solitary.  Just going out amongst the living.  I live in a big city, one of the biggest in the US, and there is a lot to do.  It’s going to be ok.  One day I’ll be back having lunches and dinners and coffee with friends with healing.  And that is going to feel so F-in good.  This IS temporary.  I have to remember I’m relatively new in the process.  Tolerance hit and tapering began early 2019 so learning to live with withdrawal is sort of new.  Learning to not be afraid of the sxs and that it’s all ok.  I’m not gonna die from it.  I learned a long time ago to “fake it till you make it” and “act as if”.  So I’ll “try” and put that in my life practice.  “Act as if” I’m recovered and maybe my brain will be reworked. But as we know sometimes we get those days when it’s hard.  One day at a time! 

Love ❤️

~meems

[[Ol...]]

Hey everyone, I took little break too, it's nice to stay off for a couple of days sometimes. Missed you all though! Funny you guys were talking about dying your hair, I have had pink hair for the last 10 years.. wow! It is growing out right now and I just started to notice some grey hairs for the first time ever! It makes me sad, because of how hard everything has been for the last few years. I think if I was out living my best life, I wouldn't mind turning grey but since I feel like I have wasted the last few years and I don't know when it is going to get better, it all feels really depressing. Anyway I made an appointment to get my cut and color on Dec 4th so take that grey hairs!

 

Sorry everyone is having such a hard time. I have been pretty down too  :'(

Meems I hope you start to feel better soon,

Suzy I'm sorry about your man.. I had the same situation and I finally gathered the strength to leave him last year. When you feel like shit the last thing you need is some guy judging you, and acting like he is 'taking care' of you, when he is the one causing a lot of your anxiety. At least that is what was going on in my relationship. It is so hard though, because how can you imagine doing this on your own? I really feel for you and everyone else stuck in an unhealthy relationship during withdrawal. Sending love and strength.

 

ValiumNM, Mary, Trishy, Stut, Intend, Final, GP, Valley, and everyone else that I'm forgetting in this moment.. Sweet dreams.

 

[[St...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

Morning Suzy l am sorry Jim is being such a dick about this.l have to say no one could possibly understand this unless they were going through this themselves however a little support isn't much to ask for.l don't know how long you have been together and how you got on before all this happened?

  I can say l was in a 10 year relationship before l began my taper.l knew after a few cuts this was going to be a struggle and knew l wouldn't be able to deal with a relationship and put my needs first.l know that sounds very cold and calculating however l did what was right for me at that time and to be honest with you l haven't regretted it for a moment.

I am very happy on my own.l think this is hard enough without having someone undermining you at every turn.

That's just me honey so see how it goes and don't stay in a relationship just because you are scared to be on your own.love you.X

Meems, Janice, Olive,GP, Trish,Intend, Feeling,Free,Bill and everyone here try to enjoy some of your day.l know this is horrible but it won't last forever.Love to you all.X

[[St...]]

Good morning Lady Mary l am sad to see you haven't posted over the weekend.Thinking of you hen and hoping this hold will help.Please be patient honey.Will be on again when l have time.

Love you my lady Mary Hen.X

[[Tr...]]

Hey everyone, I took little break too, it's nice to stay off for a couple of days sometimes. Missed you all though! Funny you guys were talking about dying your hair, I have had pink hair for the last 10 years.. wow! It is growing out right now and I just started to notice some grey hairs for the first time ever! It makes me sad, because of how hard everything has been for the last few years. I think if I was out living my best life, I wouldn't mind turning grey but since I feel like I have wasted the last few years and I don't know when it is going to get better, it all feels really depressing. Anyway I made an appointment to get my cut and color on Dec 4th so take that grey hairs!

 

Sorry everyone is having such a hard time. I have been pretty down too  :'(

Meems I hope you start to feel better soon,

Suzy I'm sorry about your man.. I had the same situation and I finally gathered the strength to leave him last year. When you feel like shit the last thing you need is some guy judging you, and acting like he is 'taking care' of you, when he is the one causing a lot of your anxiety. At least that is what was going on in my relationship. It is so hard though, because how can you imagine doing this on your own? I really feel for you and everyone else stuck in an unhealthy relationship during withdrawal. Sending love and strength.

 

ValiumNM, Mary, Trishy, Stut, Intend, Final, GP, Valley, and everyone else that I'm forgetting in this moment.. Sweet dreams.

Hey Olive,

Thanks for the mention that was very sweet ♥️

 

I'm thrilled you're going out to get your hair done. We need to do little things for ourselves, wd or not, we're still living and need to do things that make us feel good and as happy as possible. 🙂

 

Trish,♥️

[[Tr...]]

Hello twin and everyone,

I see it's been mostly quiet here and whatever the reasons I hope everyone is doing relatively well. I've had a rough weekend. I'll only mention this once bc I don't even like talking about it anymore, however my son is an alcoholic and he was admitted to the hospital over night Friday night. He had been drinking " litres" of vodka for at least five days straight. I convinced him to go to the hospital bc I thought he was going to die. He is currently at home and was put on Librium until Friday. He'll be seeing his Dr on Tuesday. He says he doesn't want to live like this anymore but I've heard that before so we'll see. I haven't been here mostly bc of him. I had a horrible weekend with very little sleep and actually a horrible week last week bc I knew what he was doing.

 

I think my point in mentioning all that was bc life is very difficult, sometimes downright painful in many different ways, physically, mentally etc.. but no matter what life throws at us we have to keep moving forward, pressing on. We have to hold onto " hope" so tightly bc if we don't have that what have we got. We need to always hope for a better tomorrow we need to always be looking for the light at the end of the tunnel, we need to always search out what's good in our lives bc surely there is something that is, something worth fighting for, something worth living for. So in all our despair over this tapering and how cruel it can be to us there is always something that's good, that's worth hanging around for. So my word for today is " hope" for a better day and a better tomorrow for all of us.

 

Love to all,

Trish ♥️

[[Gu...]]

Trishy that is so awful.  Prayers for your son and your family. 

[[Gu...]]

Pebbles, think carefully if you could handle alone.  I can’t. Yelling is not preferable but being 100% alone is very scary.

[[Gu...]]

Stut, hope you and sis are doing well.  You are such a wise strong woman. Love to you.

 

OK, so what color is your hair going to be?  . Love you girl!

 

Meems, I like the little library idea. Hmmm a little outing.

 

Val, hope you and your daughter are well.  Your humor is great 

 

FH, I hope you are doing ok today.  I can’t wait for your depression to end. 

 

Intend, where are you?    Gilly?  Miss you Mary.

[[Fi...]]

Hello twin and everyone,

I see it's been mostly quiet here and whatever the reasons I hope everyone is doing relatively well. I've had a rough weekend. I'll only mention this once bc I don't even like talking about it anymore, however my son is an alcoholic and he was admitted to the hospital over night Friday night. He had been drinking " litres" of vodka for at least five days straight. I convinced him to go to the hospital bc I thought he was going to die. He is currently at home and was put on Librium until Friday. He'll be seeing his Dr on Tuesday. He says he doesn't want to live like this anymore but I've heard that before so we'll see. I haven't been here mostly bc of him. I had a horrible weekend with very little sleep and actually a horrible week last week bc I knew what he was doing.

 

I think my point in mentioning all that was bc life is very difficult, sometimes downright painful in many different ways, physically, mentally etc.. but no matter what life throws at us we have to keep moving forward, pressing on. We have to hold onto " hope" so tightly bc if we don't have that what have we got. We need to always hope for a better tomorrow we need to always be looking for the light at the end of the tunnel, we need to always search out what's good in our lives bc surely there is something that is, something worth fighting for, something worth living for. So in all our despair over this tapering and how cruel it can be to us there is always something that's good, that's worth hanging around for. So my word for today is " hope" for a better day and a better tomorrow for all of us.

 

Love to all,

Trish ♥️

 

Hi Trish,

 

I'm so sorry for what you have had to go through with your son.  I understand the stress of living someone who's struggles with alcohol. I grew up in a family that had addiction and was involved with people who were alcoholics.  They are not only just alcoholics but people we care very much about.  I am hoping your son stabilizes soon and moves into recovery. 

 

You are right, we do need things to hope for during this time of tapering.  My hope is to be able to have a life again with my husband and help other people heal. 

 

Take good care of yourself Trish.