The Long Hold Support Group

[[Fi...]]

Good morning!  Holy shit guys, I had the WORST night last night.  I thought I was going to die.  Terrible sxs.  The worst thus far.  I took Omega 3 liquid supplement for first time and wondering if it had an effect. I texted my doctor and asked her if I could updose to calm me down. She said no and to stay where I’m at and ride it out. Boy this shit is insane.  I can only think I had a reaction to the supplement.  I dunno 🤷‍♀️.  Can supplements send us into a spiral? 

Love,

~meems

 

I have has big reactions to supplements.  I have tried Omegas in the past and got hyper from them.  I actually have bought some cod liver oil supplements to see if they will help with some of my depressive symptoms. 

 

I have spent hundreds of dollars on supplments and doctors to try and ease wirhdrawal.  Now when I want to try something, I start at the lowest dose and see my response.

 

So yes, from my perspective, supplements can goes us to spiral or increase symptoms. 

[[Ma...]]

Hey guys, sorry haven't been here much, hope it changes very soon. 

 

Instead of saying a good morning to everyone, I found some Short Calming Mantras by Therese Broshard,  these are short and really good, I thought, easy to remember.  I love you guys....

 

1.  This too shall pass.

2.  Just for today

3.  I will get better

4.  This is a moment of suffering

5.  May my life have benefit to all beings

6.  I am breathing in, I am breathing out

7.  Be not afraid

8.  Let it go

9.  There is no danger

10. I am enough

 

I loved these, short enough to remember but very meaningful.  Mary 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💋

[[Fi...]]

Hey guys, sorry haven't been here much, hope it changes very soon. 

 

Instead of saying a good morning to everyone, I found some Short Calming Mantras by Therese Broshard,  these are short and really good, I thought, easy to remember.  I love you guys....

 

1.  This too shall pass.

2.  Just for today

3.  I will get better

4.  This is a moment of suffering

5.  May my life have benefit to all beings

6.  I am breathing in, I am breathing out

7.  Be not afraid

8.  Let it go

9.  There is no danger

10. I am enough

 

I loved these, short enough to remember but very meaningful.  Mary 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💋

 

Thank you for these Mary, they are wonderful. 

 

I hope you are dong all right Mary.  I see that you have switched all the way to liquiid.  That took a lot of patience and I hope you are feeling as decently as you can. 

[[Ma...]]

Hey guys, sorry haven't been here much, hope it changes very soon. 

 

Instead of saying a good morning to everyone, I found some Short Calming Mantras by Therese Broshard,  these are short and really good, I thought, easy to remember.  I love you guys....

 

1.  This too shall pass.

2.  Just for today

3.  I will get better

4.  This is a moment of suffering

5.  May my life have benefit to all beings

6.  I am breathing in, I am breathing out

7.  Be not afraid

8.  Let it go

9.  There is no danger

10. I am enough

 

I loved these, short enough to remember but very meaningful.  Mary 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💋

 

Thank you for these Mary, they are wonderful. 

 

I hope you are dong all right Mary.  I see that you have switched all the way to liquiid.  That took a lot of patience and I hope you are feeling as decently as you can.

 

I am not great FH, but hoping everyday for all of us.  Only been on all liquid for 5 days, so my body is probably adjusting to that last dose.  Hope you are okay  .  LY, Mary 💜💜

[[Fi...]]

Hey guys, sorry haven't been here much, hope it changes very soon. 

 

Instead of saying a good morning to everyone, I found some Short Calming Mantras by Therese Broshard,  these are short and really good, I thought, easy to remember.  I love you guys....

 

1.  This too shall pass.

2.  Just for today

3.  I will get better

4.  This is a moment of suffering

5.  May my life have benefit to all beings

6.  I am breathing in, I am breathing out

7.  Be not afraid

8.  Let it go

9.  There is no danger

10. I am enough

 

I loved these, short enough to remember but very meaningful.  Mary 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💋

 

Thank you for these Mary, they are wonderful. 

 

I hope you are dong all right Mary.  I see that you have switched all the way to liquiid.  That took a lot of patience and I hope you are feeling as decently as you can.

 

I am not great FH, but hoping everyday for all of us.  Only been on all liquid for 5 days, so my body is probably adjusting to that last dose.  Hope you are okay  .  LY, Mary 💜💜

 

I get it Mary, and I really empathize.  You have been doing everything possible to try and make it better. 

 

I had a tough stretch too and its only lifted a bit today.  I'm rooting for all of us and look forward to reading all of our success stories. 

[[Ma...]]

Hey guys, sorry haven't been here much, hope it changes very soon. 

 

Instead of saying a good morning to everyone, I found some Short Calming Mantras by Therese Broshard,  these are short and really good, I thought, easy to remember.  I love you guys....

 

1.  This too shall pass.

2.  Just for today

3.  I will get better

4.  This is a moment of suffering

5.  May my life have benefit to all beings

6.  I am breathing in, I am breathing out

7.  Be not afraid

8.  Let it go

9.  There is no danger

10. I am enough

 

I loved these, short enough to remember but very meaningful.  Mary 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💋

 

Thank you for these Mary, they are wonderful. 

 

I hope you are dong all right Mary.  I see that you have switched all the way to liquiid.  That took a lot of patience and I hope you are feeling as decently as you can.

 

I am not great FH, but hoping everyday for all of us.  Only been on all liquid for 5 days, so my body is probably adjusting to that last dose.  Hope you are okay  .  LY, Mary 💜💜

 

I get it Mary, and I really empathize.  You have been doing everything possible to try and make it better. 

 

I had a tough stretch too and its only lifted a bit today.  I'm rooting for all of us and look forward to reading all of our success stories.

 

Tomorrow is not too soon.   

[[De...]]

Hi everyone,

Malmm,

Those mantras are great. I needed it. I think we all did! I hope you are feeling some better. Lots of self pity today. But ok. Ly Pebbles

 

 

 

[[De...]]

Hi Meems,

Sorey you had such a bad night. I think.sre bodies are sensitive to the strangest things in wd. It is crsxy. I.domt even tske supplements. I was taking magnedium but i stopped. It is good you made the connection! I.hope you feeo.better soon. Ly dd

[[Me...]]

Thank you 🙏 DD and FH.  And thank you Mary for sharing the mantras.  I just wrote them down in my journal.  It’s a good reminder for me and also to remember to be grateful for the good things and not lose sight of that.  I know for me I focus on the negative and how my perspective of EVERYTHING is so off kilter because of this temporary process.  And for us it is temporary. 

LY all,

~meems

[[De...]]

[[Ol...]]

Hi Stut,

Thanks for checking in! I am feeling much better.. I had a hard 7 days, but I think I'm through it now. Back to my not terrible but still not 100% self. I just slept until 11am, woah! I had really bad cramps last night so I took an AdvilPM, it really worked.

I don't think I am tapering too fast.. it feels right to me. After my 1.5 year hold at 2mg, I went down 1mg in just over a month, but now I have held at 1mg for a month, let the symptoms pass, and I'm going to start tapering again when it feels right. Not today though! Viva la long hold! Love you all.

 

Mary thanks for the beautiful affirmations!

Meems I'm so sorry you felt so bad last night. I have taken hundreds of supplements during this process and never had a really bad reaction, but I have definitely heard many people  on here react badly to certain supplements, including fish oils.

Bill, so glad you are feeling better.

Suzy, Trishy, Final, Intend, GP, ValiumNM, Valley, everyone else, sending love 

 

[[Fi...]]

Hi Stut,

Thanks for checking in! I am feeling much better.. I had a hard 7 days, but I think I'm through it now. Back to my not terrible but still not 100% self. I just slept until 11am, woah! I had really bad cramps last night so I took an AdvilPM, it really worked.

I don't think I am tapering too fast.. it feels right to me. After my 1.5 year hold at 2mg, I went down 1mg in just over a month, but now I have held at 1mg for a month, let the symptoms pass, and I'm going to start tapering again when it feels right. Not today though! Viva la long hold! Love you all.

 

Mary thanks for the beautiful affirmations!

Meems I'm so sorry you felt so bad last night. I have taken hundreds of supplements during this process and never had a really bad reaction, but I have definitely heard many people  on here react badly to certain supplements, including fish oils.

Bill, so glad you are feeling better.

Suzy, Trishy, Final, Intend, GP, ValiumNM, Valley, everyone else, sending love 

 

Hi Olive Kitty,

 

From your experience with holding and then tapering again, would you say that you still feel symptoms when you cut but then  you stabilize and are then able to function?  I've had a rough patch too but today back to not terrible but not 100%, with some sadness thrown in. It just seems that that the way it is through this process. 

 

[[Ol...]]

Hi Final,

When I was tapering before, that is the experience I had. I would do a cut, feel symptomatic for a week or so, then stabilize, then do a cut again, etc. I was pretty much feeling like shit all the time, once I felt a teeny bit better I would cut again. So when I decided to hold at 2mg indefinitely, I wondered if I would ever stabilize but then I did this fall! A year and a half after I decided to hold. So when I started cutting again, I actually didn't feel ANY symptoms at all until I got down to 1mg, then I felt symptoms but never as bad as it was last year. As soon as I started feeling sxs this time I held and have been holding. Not sure when I will start tapering again, I am feeling impatient as we all are but I deeply value the long hold so I am being very careful.

I'm sorry you are going trough a rough patch, I was too this whole last week and yes, with a bit of sadness thrown in.

[[Ma...]]

I am also in a rough spot. Had bad symptoms for 2 months that I had never experienced as wd symptoms, so I let them go on for 2 months, until I fell in the hole. My updose was 2.5 weeks ago.  I believe in holds and have done holds throughout my taper. I have held for 2 months, even before I realized it was wd. Here’s my question: I also belong to fb group who stands by not holding more than 2 weeks to avoid tolerance . I’m in so much fear right now on decisions. Is there any fact to that their theory. Tolerance did not cause my crash. Tapering too fast did. In this emotional vulnerable spot I have my intuition which didn’t alert me that I was in wd.  So I don’t trust it. Any thoughts on the safety of holding without fear?

[[Ol...]]

Hi Magnolos,

I'm so sorry you are suffering, I really feel you. I belong to the fb group too but I rarely go there because I find it extremely triggering and chaotic. I trust people on this group so much more. Anyone who tells you they are 100% right about w/d is a huge red flag to me because what works for one person may not work for another. I truly believe that my long hold helped me so much. I don't think you can go into tolerance while holding, because you are still healing from the cuts you made previously. But this is just my experience. Ask Valley Um for the long hold propaganda! Someone on here saved the page number where it is last posted.. if you are reading this can you list the page number?

Sending you love and strength.

[[Ma...]]

Thanks Olive.  Reading that would help but your post helps.

Thank you

[[Ma...]]

I am also in a rough spot. Had bad symptoms for 2 months that I had never experienced as wd symptoms, so I let them go on for 2 months, until I fell in the hole. My updose was 2.5 weeks ago.  I believe in holds and have done holds throughout my taper. I have held for 2 months, even before I realized it was wd. Here’s my question: I also belong to fb group who stands by not holding more than 2 weeks to avoid tolerance . I’m in so much fear right now on decisions. Is there any fact to that their theory. Tolerance did not cause my crash. Tapering too fast did. In this emotional vulnerable spot I have my intuition which didn’t alert me that I was in wd.  So I don’t trust it. Any thoughts on the safety of holding without fear?

 

Hey Mag, imo, you have tapered over all this time from 11 mgs and are now getting pretty low.  I honestly don't believe you would reach tolerance again .  I don't think you need to worry about that.  I guess it could happen, but it is so unlikely.  You may have withdrawal symptoms, but that's what they are withdrawal, not tolerance.  There are all different opinions, but look at OK, she held along time.  Most people hold 5 to 6 months, Stut held for 8 if I'm not mistaken.  I hope that gave you some confidence.  Good luck, Mary 💜💜💜💜. 

[[Fi...]]

I am also in a rough spot. Had bad symptoms for 2 months that I had never experienced as wd symptoms, so I let them go on for 2 months, until I fell in the hole. My updose was 2.5 weeks ago.  I believe in holds and have done holds throughout my taper. I have held for 2 months, even before I realized it was wd. Here’s my question: I also belong to fb group who stands by not holding more than 2 weeks to avoid tolerance . I’m in so much fear right now on decisions. Is there any fact to that their theory. Tolerance did not cause my crash. Tapering too fast did. In this emotional vulnerable spot I have my intuition which didn’t alert me that I was in wd.  So I don’t trust it. Any thoughts on the safety of holding without fear?

 

Hi Magnolis,

I left a FB group that promoted that theory as well along with relentless positivity.  I am not an expert in the long hold area but I do think that tapering too fast causes what you have described. I am tapering like a turtle and still run into symtoms. When that happens I hold. 

 

I also used to be a very intuitive person but have lost that connection due to withdrawal.  I'm told it will come back.

 

There are lots of experienced holders on this thread who can help you through this. 

[[Ma...]]

Thank you all.

Final H, I’ve always trusted my intuition. A therapist told me that if your intent(tapering faster than you should just to get to the milestone of 2) is initially skewed, then throw away that connection. I look back on all my tapering decisions. Deep down , I knew this was pushing it. I cry for hours every day because I have myself to blame only. Had to take a leave from work due to the horrible fatigue I never had before this.

[[Fi...]]

Thank you all.

Final H, I’ve always trusted my intuition. A therapist told me that if your intent(tapering faster than you should just to get to the milestone of 2) is initially skewed, then throw away that connection. I look back on all my tapering decisions. Deep down , I knew this was pushing it. I cry for hours every day because I have myself to blame only. Had to take a leave from work due to the horrible fatigue I never had before this.

 

I understand.  I cry everyday, multiple times a day except when I have windows.  For me it's the grief over this process, what I have lost and what I call medication tears. 

 

I think how benzos affect our brains cause such rumination.  Our access to our feel good hormones is cut off. 

 

I too lost my business and ability to work.  I occassionally can do a little work but it's been a great loss.

 

I think it's so hard to taper with awareness all the time. I have pushed at times because I want to be off just like everyone here.  What I hold into is that people have gotten off of benzos doing it fast, slow, with poor choices and poor eating and have succeeded.  I re-read a lot of the success stories and see there are many ways that people eventually get there. 

 

We are here for you.

[[Me...]]

Magnolos- the page number for Valley Um propaganda is 4143. 

LY

~meems

[[Ma...]]

Thank you!!!

[[Me...]]

I couldn’t handle the FB group either as I found it very triggering and a lot of Cold Turkey stories which is fine for some people but I tried it and for me was very dangerous.  Long holding is frustrating as I struggle with impatience and tend to go through periods where I doubt the healing process.  “How can I possibly be healing if I am not completely off the drug”.  But I am.  Each cut brings a healing period.  Albeit slow but healing nonetheless. 

I relate so much to the grieving process.  But I try and remember that it’s always dark before the dawn.  The dawn of a new life.  But I have to live in the moment and trust the process.  Wow what a big feat that is!  What a tall order!  But it’s imperative.  As I shared earlier I had a very rough night as a result I think, for me, was because of taking fish oil supplements.  I can’t put anything in my body.  My CNS is just too sensitive.  I wanted my dr to updose me but I rode it out.  Today I am ok but a little “hungover” (not literally) but figuratively.  I wrote in my journal and tried to get my brain working in the right direction.  Gratitude list and journaling on what my life is going to look like when I am free and totally healed. 

We’ll be healed.  It takes what it takes and it is what it is today.  No more and no less.  Right now it’s just like this.  And that’s ok.  It sucks to high heaven but it’s ok. 

Lots of love to you all.

~meems

[[AZ...]]

Hey guys, sorry haven't been here much, hope it changes very soon. 

 

Instead of saying a good morning to everyone, I found some Short Calming Mantras by Therese Broshard,  these are short and really good, I thought, easy to remember.  I love you guys....

 

1.  This too shall pass.

2.  Just for today

3.  I will get better

4.  This is a moment of suffering

5.  May my life have benefit to all beings

6.  I am breathing in, I am breathing out

7.  Be not afraid

8.  Let it go

9.  There is no danger

10. I am enough

 

I loved these, short enough to remember but very meaningful.  Mary 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💋

Hi Mary,

Good to see you posting.  I do think switching over to all liquid can feel like a cut.  We are so sensitive to the serum level of the benzo, any imbalance can throw things out of balance.  It could be the body processes the drug slower or faster and now the serum balance is off.  In time hopefully it should stabilize.  I know it did for me.  Hang in there!

[[AZ...]]

Hi Mag and Meems

I’m a big believer in long holds.  I was very unstable and symptomatic a year ago and held stable for 5 months.  I only felt better with time, although I got classic windows and waves.  I don’t think most of us will have any problems with tolerance causing symptoms, mainly it is plain old withdrawal.  It can take a long time of holding to make a difference, for me 5 months, others longer.  I would hold until you feel better, but after some months if things aren’t improving at all, consider something different.

 

No matter what you decide, we will all recover.  Everyone  recovers a little different but we all get there!

 

Take care

Bill