12-24 months and up support group

[[Li...]]

Fox,

I have had terrible heart palpitations off and on in earlier withdrawal. I was convinced that I had hyperthyroid had blood test done and everything was normal. It went away for quite a few months and came back a 4 months ago so I'm feeling it myself. I know it can feel pretty scary but it's all part of the withdrawal/recovery process. Hugs!

 

LiveLife

[[Th...]]

Hi Helen, Foxclover, and Livelife

 

I have had tachycardia for about 9 months now. I used to be in the 60s bofore this, now I am 90s to 100s. On good occasions I have been 80. I don't have it so bad that I notice it most time even though it is happening, but it keeps me from sleeping.

 

I think Helen is right. I've heard it is common. What I have found that works of temporary relief is holding your face in ice water. It can bring your heart rate down by 15 beats. Mostly I keep ice cold wash clothes on my head. and switch them every few minutes with one in a bowl of ice water.

 

I have also heard a high water and sodium intake can help. but my diet is messed up so I can not confirm that.

 

decatur

I see you are in a hard time.  Sending healing thoughts your way.

 

 

Leanne

Yes. I think most of us know about traumatized80. But I think you mean of others. I have run into a few on other sites. I will see if I can find their stories while I am there. I love when you post. Hang in there.

 

 

[[de...]]

Stitch:

 

Thanks so much for thinking about me.  Yes, I am in a really tough spot!  Today has been a little better.    I am trying to stay positive.  I know this will pass, but it is just so darn hard in the meantime!  I did get to meet with my therapist yesterday so that was helpful.  She always helps me change my perspective a little bit.   

 

How are you doing, Stitch?

 

I am thinking about all my buddies today:  GG, Leeann, Sandy, LadyDen, Deanna, LiveLife, FoxClover, HelenHMB, Bess, JBen..  I know I am forgetting somebody.      Anyway, much love to all of you on this Friday afternoon/evening. 

 

My prayer for all of us is that we have something happen this weekend that reminds us that we are healing!  Even if it is as simple as being able to have a little chuckle over something. 

[[Th...]]

decatur

You are right. It is so darn hard in the meantime.

I am glad your therapist is helpful. A helpful therapist can make it a little easier to get through a wave. Whoo, staying positive can be a job. I'm glad we have each other to cheer us on.

I really hope this passes soon.

 

Right now I am grateful to be able to manage. I'm not managing much, but I rather be here than where I was at the beginning.

 

Stay strong.

[[Fo...]]

I feel really sick of this, never had depression before this

[[de...]]

Stitch:

 

Are you able to put your drug information in your signature and where you are currently?  If not, I totally understand.  It isn't required, it just helps us know where you are in this process. 

 

 

[[Be...]]

Stitch:

 

Thanks so much for thinking about me.  Yes, I am in a really tough spot!  Today has been a little better.    I am trying to stay positive.  I know this will pass, but it is just so darn hard in the meantime!  I did get to meet with my therapist yesterday so that was helpful.  She always helps me change my perspective a little bit.   

 

How are you doing, Stitch?

 

I am thinking about all my buddies today:  GG, Leeann, Sandy, LadyDen, Deanna, LiveLife, FoxClover, HelenHMB, Bess, JBen..  I know I am forgetting somebody.      Anyway, much love to all of you on this Friday afternoon/evening. 

 

My prayer for all of us is that we have something happen this weekend that reminds us that we are healing!  Even if it is as simple as being able to have a little chuckle over something.

 

Ohhhh thanks lovely - thinking of you too x

[[Pa...]]

I wish it didn't feel like my brain is asleep 24/7

[[La...]]

Good morning beautiful friends! Firstly, I appreciate the love and support as I’m grieving Zman. I know some of you didn’t know him but being the beautiful souls that you are you still extended your condolences. His wife and family have seen them I’m sure they greatly appreciate it. I have cried and prayed for them too. I’m comforted knowing he is not in extreme distress anymore. He would want me to continue to join you all in being a support to each other. I also would like to mention Stitch did her best to help him as well. He appreciated that very much, Stitch! Time will heal my heartbreak and my brain. I plan on planting a tree in his honor when I’m well enough.

 

I have caught up on your posts. Wow you all have been in the thick of it too. I’m sorry to hear it but we all know by now how this goes. So, as Helen said…onward we tread until we’re brought to shore again. Soon, my friends, soon! I still haven’t been walking much because of my ongoing waves back to back. So I’m in bed resting until it passes. I do still get up to try. Still able to take care of my needs. So definitely much improved from last year. When I would get slammed, I couldn’t do nothing. Not even walk. So I thank God for this. I have a strong feeling that this will be a huge turnaround for us all this year. Wow I can’t wait to see us posting how much better we feel. I know right now for most of us, that feels like a dream. And, it is one BUT it is a dream that will come true. What do we do? One day at a time as the healing piles up. That’s our job to get through each day. I love how GG often says “ that’s a day you won’t have to do ever again.” I love that!

 

Fox, I’m not sure if I welcomed you properly to this thread. So here’s a warm welcome  Glad to have you with us! May your symptoms fade away quickly. Those palps are pretty ugly as well as scary at times. Most of us has had or have them too. They’re just your CNS trying to regain normal autonomic functioning. With a bit more time, it will settle down. That’s one of the main common symptoms that sent most of us to the ER. Me personally, more than once. But I learned to not let it throw me into a panic. Deep controlled breathing with holding breath after inhale for about 4-7 seconds while laying on the left side helps a racing heart. My doctor showed me that tip. It worked like a charm for me. After a little time, my palps/ sudden racing heart faded away. I hope yours do too real soon.

 

It’s Saturday… anyone have any fun plans? Or upcoming ones?

 

Happy healing wishes to you all. I love you ! ❤️🌹🤗💋

Anyone seen the window fairy? 🧚‍♀️

[[Fo...]]

Good morning beautiful friends! Firstly, I appreciate the love and support as I’m grieving Zman. I know some of you didn’t know him but being the beautiful souls that you are you still extended your condolences. His wife and family have seen them I’m sure they greatly appreciate it. I have cried and prayed for them too. I’m comforted knowing he is not in extreme distress anymore. He would want me to continue to join you all in being a support to each other. I also would like to mention Stitch did her best to help him as well. He appreciated that very much, Stitch! Time will heal my heartbreak and my brain. I plan on planting a tree in his honor when I’m well enough.

 

I have caught up on your posts. Wow you all have been in the thick of it too. I’m sorry to hear it but we all know by now how this goes. So, as Helen said…onward we tread until we’re brought to shore again. Soon, my friends, soon! I still haven’t been walking much because of my ongoing waves back to back. So I’m in bed resting until it passes. I do still get up to try. Still able to take care of my needs. So definitely much improved from last year. When I would get slammed, I couldn’t do nothing. Not even walk. So I thank God for this. I have a strong feeling that this will be a huge turnaround for us all this year. Wow I can’t wait to see us posting how much better we feel. I know right now for most of us, that feels like a dream. And, it is one BUT it is a dream that will come true. What do we do? One day at a time as the healing piles up. That’s our job to get through each day. I love how GG often says “ that’s a day you won’t have to do ever again.” I love that!

 

Fox, I’m not sure if I welcomed you properly to this thread. So here’s a warm welcome  Glad to have you with us! May your symptoms fade away quickly. Those palps are pretty ugly as well as scary at times. Most of us has had or have them too. They’re just your CNS trying to regain normal autonomic functioning. With a bit more time, it will settle down. That’s one of the main common symptoms that sent most of us to the ER. Me personally, more than once. But I learned to not let it throw me into a panic. Deep controlled breathing with holding breath after inhale for about 4-7 seconds while laying on the left side helps a racing heart. My doctor showed me that tip. It worked like a charm for me. After a little time, my palps/ sudden racing heart faded away. I hope yours do too real soon.

 

It’s Saturday… anyone have any fun plans? Or upcoming ones?

 

Happy healing wishes to you all. I love you ! ❤️🌹🤗💋

Anyone seen the window fairy? 🧚‍♀️

Thank you for your positivity. Makes me cry just to have someone to talk to me in a nice way.

[[He...]]

Awww, Lady Den.  It's nice to have you back and being so uplifting even though you have your own pain and worries.  THANK YOU! 

 

I also feel like this is our year.  I really do. I know things have changed for me. I wouldn't say I'm in a window but I'm functional. Every day is starting to pretty much look the same now that I've done some more tweaking of my diet.  I am functional and getting VERY light exercise.  I still stay at home most of the time but can walk up and down my street a few times a day. I start every day with burning and tingling in my head and body, some heart palps, some wobbly balance, super loud ears and some mild nausea.  Now as icky as that sounds, it's really nothing compared to the years of misery I had on the meds and in early months post jump. I'm planning to keep up my regime of clean diet (getting cleaner every day), good hydration, daily mediation and gentle walking and stretching.  As for stress...I've got some just like everyone else.  But Im' learning to handle it better than in the past.  I'm also benefitting from a little LESS stress as circumstances are different now. So that's where I am and I'm pulling for everyone to have good progress.

 

As for plans, my husband and I are going to a friend's house for a simple, healthy dinner. It's just another couple and us. I haven't seen these people in a couple of decades. I plan to be seated most of the time and sitting in the AC with an early end time.  Wish me luck! I've not been to anyone's house for dinner since last December. 

 

 

[[La...]]

Awww, Lady Den.  It's nice to have you back and being so uplifting even though you have your own pain and worries.  THANK YOU! 

 

I also feel like this is our year.  I really do. I know things have changed for me. I wouldn't say I'm in a window but I'm functional. Every day is starting to pretty much look the same now that I've done some more tweaking of my diet.  I am functional and getting VERY light exercise.  I still stay at home most of the time but can walk up and down my street a few times a day. I start every day with burning and tingling in my head and body, some heart palps, some wobbly balance, super loud ears and some mild nausea.  Now as icky as that sounds, it's really nothing compared to the years of misery I had on the meds and in early months post jump. I'm planning to keep up my regime of clean diet (getting cleaner every day), good hydration, daily mediation and gentle walking and stretching.  As for stress...I've got some just like everyone else.  But Im' learning to handle it better than in the past.  I'm also benefitting from a little LESS stress as circumstances are different now. So that's where I am and I'm pulling for everyone to have good progress.

 

As for plans, my husband and I are going to a friend's house for a simple, healthy dinner. It's just another couple and us. I haven't seen these people in a couple of decades. I plan to be seated most of the time and sitting in the AC with an early end time.  Wish me luck! I've not been to anyone's house for dinner since last December.

Hugs Twin! You’re super awesome post made me smile! I’m so proud that you’re going to a dinner. That will be good for you to engage in some normalcy. I know you’ll probably be faking some of it but that’s ok. Fake it so you can make it. I can’t wait to hear how it goes. You’re inspiring me for sure. Thank you! I needed that. 

The report of your improved symptoms is also always a nice read. I hope everyone start posting more of that because it is their new reality. I’m truly excited for all of us this year. I really feel like this will be a great year! So enjoy your dinner with your friends. I’m sure there’s much catching up to do since it’s been so long since you saw them. As for me, I’m camping out in bed. Trying to get up to walk as much as possible. I have my Netflix, YouTube and God to keep me company. My brother is coming over today to join me. Hopefully I’ll be able to sit up to watch the movie with him. Wish me luck too!

💋🌹❤️🤗

[[La...]]

I wish it didn't feel like my brain is asleep 24/7

Pashu I understand how you feel. Wow I remember when mine felt like that. It was so strange not feeling like myself. Undesirable emptiness. But mine faded rather quickly. I really hope yours do too. Big hugs 🤗

One day at a time, it will fade.

[[La...]]

Good morning beautiful friends! Firstly, I appreciate the love and support as I’m grieving Zman. I know some of you didn’t know him but being the beautiful souls that you are you still extended your condolences. His wife and family have seen them I’m sure they greatly appreciate it. I have cried and prayed for them too. I’m comforted knowing he is not in extreme distress anymore. He would want me to continue to join you all in being a support to each other. I also would like to mention Stitch did her best to help him as well. He appreciated that very much, Stitch! Time will heal my heartbreak and my brain. I plan on planting a tree in his honor when I’m well enough.

 

I have caught up on your posts. Wow you all have been in the thick of it too. I’m sorry to hear it but we all know by now how this goes. So, as Helen said…onward we tread until we’re brought to shore again. Soon, my friends, soon! I still haven’t been walking much because of my ongoing waves back to back. So I’m in bed resting until it passes. I do still get up to try. Still able to take care of my needs. So definitely much improved from last year. When I would get slammed, I couldn’t do nothing. Not even walk. So I thank God for this. I have a strong feeling that this will be a huge turnaround for us all this year. Wow I can’t wait to see us posting how much better we feel. I know right now for most of us, that feels like a dream. And, it is one BUT it is a dream that will come true. What do we do? One day at a time as the healing piles up. That’s our job to get through each day. I love how GG often says “ that’s a day you won’t have to do ever again.” I love that!

 

Fox, I’m not sure if I welcomed you properly to this thread. So here’s a warm welcome  Glad to have you with us! May your symptoms fade away quickly. Those palps are pretty ugly as well as scary at times. Most of us has had or have them too. They’re just your CNS trying to regain normal autonomic functioning. With a bit more time, it will settle down. That’s one of the main common symptoms that sent most of us to the ER. Me personally, more than once. But I learned to not let it throw me into a panic. Deep controlled breathing with holding breath after inhale for about 4-7 seconds while laying on the left side helps a racing heart. My doctor showed me that tip. It worked like a charm for me. After a little time, my palps/ sudden racing heart faded away. I hope yours do too real soon.

 

It’s Saturday… anyone have any fun plans? Or upcoming ones?

 

Happy healing wishes to you all. I love you ! ❤️🌹🤗💋

Anyone seen the window fairy? 🧚‍♀️

Thank you for your positivity. Makes me cry just to have someone to talk to me in a nice way.

Fox, you are most welcome my dear. You deserve love, kindness and support just like everyone else. There’s much of it around here. You’re in good company. Hang in there! Distract every day. Healing is happening in the background. 🤗

[[Li...]]

LadyDen,

Thank you so much for all the encouragement and positivity. It's greatly appreciated. I hope you have a good weekend and pull through this wave asap!

 

Helen,

Such great news on your improvements. It sounds wonderful. I hope you enjoy your dinner with your friends.

 

I'm just suffering and struggling. This wave within a wave has really been kicking my butt and has not let up. I had a terrible night and I'm in tears again. My weekend will be spent trying to stay positive and get through one moment at a time.

 

Hugs to all my benzo buddies!

 

LiveLife

[[La...]]

Live it’s my pleasure. Thank you too for your support of everyone. I’m wishing you a better day. Hopefully soon our waves will die down. 🙏🙏🙏 I’m happy to see you’re still fighting through.

[[de...]]

Lady Den:  Glad you are "back" with us.  You were missed!  Be kind to yourself and give yourself plenty of time to grieve and feel all the sadness over the loss of Zman.    I hope you are able to enjoy your brother's visit!  Sometimes visitors are a great distraction!  A friend of mine was telling me about a documentary on Netflix called "The River Runner".  It is about a group of extreme kayakers; something I am not really interested in but she said it has a really redemptive story line.  It tells the story of the guy who produced the documentary and some of the hardships he has been through.  You might check it out.

 

Helen:  Hope you enjoy your dinner with friends this evening!  I always find doing "normal" things is helpful and I feel better afterwards.  Glad you are doing better.

 

LiveLife:  I don't know what to say.  You and I are in the same "spot" I think.  I am in a wave within a wave.  It is brutal.  I am hanging on by a thread.  Just trying to make it through each day.  Lots of crying, and I am not normally a cryer.  I wish there was something I could do or say to you to be helpful.  My symptoms are basically the same as they have always been - anxiety, anxiety, anxiety, nausea, just feel a great sense of unease and dread.  I am sleeping okay, which is a huge blessing, but waking up at 3:00 and then at 5:00 with lots of anxiety.  I have lost six pounds in the last two weeks; which I didn't really need to lose, but I just can't eat.   

 

Pashu:  I have never had the feeling of my brain being asleep, but I can imagine that it is very uncomfortable.  Hopefully it will ease soon.  Please keep us posted.

 

Much love to all my buddies!

 

Lisa

[[He...]]

LiveLife and Decatur,

 

I'm so sorry for your current suffering.  I've been there!  I can't say I feel "good" right now and actually today is kind of rough with physical symptoms but I am not in that place you describe. It's so very hard to see out during times like that.  But this will pass and you'll rise up again.  I'm thinking of you and sending best hopes and wishes that you feel an upswing very soon.  Hold on.

 

Helen

 

[[La...]]

Lady Den:  Glad you are "back" with us.  You were missed!  Be kind to yourself and give yourself plenty of time to grieve and feel all the sadness over the loss of Zman.    I hope you are able to enjoy your brother's visit!  Sometimes visitors are a great distraction!  A friend of mine was telling me about a documentary on Netflix called "The River Runner".  It is about a group of extreme kayakers; something I am not really interested in but she said it has a really redemptive story line.  It tells the story of the guy who produced the documentary and some of the hardships he has been through.  You might check it out.

 

Helen:  Hope you enjoy your dinner with friends this evening!  I always find doing "normal" things is helpful and I feel better afterwards.  Glad you are doing better.

 

LiveLife:  I don't know what to say.  You and I are in the same "spot" I think.  I am in a wave within a wave.  It is brutal.  I am hanging on by a thread.  Just trying to make it through each day.  Lots of crying, and I am not normally a cryer.  I wish there was something I could do or say to you to be helpful.  My symptoms are basically the same as they have always been - anxiety, anxiety, anxiety, nausea, just feel a great sense of unease and dread.  I am sleeping okay, which is a huge blessing, but waking up at 3:00 and then at 5:00 with lots of anxiety.  I have lost six pounds in the last two weeks; which I didn't really need to lose, but I just can't eat.   

 

Pashu:  I have never had the feeling of my brain being asleep, but I can imagine that it is very uncomfortable.  Hopefully it will ease soon.  Please keep us posted.

 

Much love to all my buddies!

 

Lisa

Thanks Lisa. Sending you love and hugs. Hope you’re having a good day. My brother is here but these waves are not allowing me to sit up with him.  It he said he doesn’t mind. He didn’t want me day after day alone. So I’m so grateful just knowing he’s here. My waves have been terrible lately. I’ll be so glad when they let up. Increase in my usual symptoms but in the form of back to back waves. Maybe a 30-45 minute break in between them. Not gone but less intense if that makes sense. I’m hanging in there.

Yes you’re right I’ll give myself time to grieve. I missed you too sweetheart! You’re a jewel 💎

I’m not into kayaking either but I’ll take a peek at it. Thanks. I want you to know that I’m here for you anytime! My heart breaks to hear you’re getting your butt kicked too. Ughhhh the benzo beast is a…%*&#$! Feel free to pm me anytime.  Kick benzo beast right back!

🌹🌹🌹

[[Li...]]

LadyDen,

Thank you so much. I sure hope this passes soon because I'm hanging on by a thread. And I hope so much for you too.

 

Lisa,

I appreciate all your kind words I know you're suffering a lot as well. I'm so sorry! And I know you were doing so well so that must make it even more difficult. But that is a blessing if you can sleep. My sleep has been so disrupted with this intense chemical fear it's terrifying. And that's what I'm feeling today a lot of Terror along with nausea. My doctor said when you have a lot of anxiety or fear it hits you right in the gut and makes it hard to digest. When you're in fight or flight you can't rest and digest very easily. So, I sure wish it would give me a break. And I hope you get one too. We definitely need to move on from this misery! I think it's time. Also, I know what you mean about losing weight. I lost over 10 lb when I got into this whole mess and then carefully put on a few but it's really hard to keep those pounds on . I get such bad nausea and it makes it hard to eat much. So I guess we are in the same boat. Has your husband come home yet? It might be nice for you to have some company as a distraction. Unless it's easier when he's not there for you.

 

Helen,

Thank you so much. I greatly appreciate all your kind words and encouragement. Sure hoping this will pass soon. I would be happy with a day that's even considered a bad day. I'm tired of these horrific ones! It makes it so hard to hang on.

 

Hugs!

 

LiveLife

[[de...]]

LiveLife:

 

My husband is coming back this evening.  It will be nice to have his company, but he does get a little frustrated with this situation.  I try not to say too much. 

 

I was rereading some old posts about long waves and it looks like you have been in this wave since the beginning of June?  Is that right?  Has it been horrible the whole time?  My waves sort of build; I can feel them coming on for a couple of weeks and then they just get unbearable for a few weeks.

 

This is just too much!    No words! 

 

 

[[Be...]]

I lie down on the sofa all night and watch TV lying down too.  I'm even lying down on the sofa right now typing on my Chromebook on my lap. 

[[...]]

So much suffering on this thread.  Hugs to you all.  I am interested in how you guys cope all day with your symptoms.  My biggest symptom by far is the anxiety and shortness of breath.  It is really, really bad when I eat from the hours of 6am to about 3pm.  So to cope I just dont eat as long as I can tolerate it.  Sometimes I get hungry tho and then it makes for a really bad day.  After 5pm I seem to tolerate foods without too much anxiety.  At night it goes down a lot and I can sleep fairly well.  Also meditation seems to work on the anxiety but just for an hour after.

 

What are you symptoms during the day and night?  Do you get any relief?  Any triggers?  Do you get waves/windows or is it constant?  What are your biggest symptoms? 

 

Hugs to all of you.  This is such a beautiful group of people on this thread.  Thank you LadyDen for starting it.

 

[[Be...]]

Hey everyone -

 

Hope you’re all doing ok - I just drove for 30 mins - yay!

 

Xx

[[Li...]]

Lisa,

I'm happy to hear your husband's coming home tonight and you won't have to be alone.

 

As far as this wave I made a post on May 11th about how terrible all my symptoms had flared up. One of the moderators commented that had happened to her right before she healed it took her a couple months and then everything improved. I tried to keep hanging on to that thought. I believe that things have gotten worse for me since that time and recently they've even escalated more so. I don't get a lot of windows and my baseline has never been great. But, recently things have definitely been worse like a wave within a wave. So I'm hoping this is a positive sign, for myself and you. I definitely need a change to occur and hopefully soon. It sounds like you have your waves all figured out. I believe LadyDen does too. I'm not sure what's going on with me it's absolutely crazy! It really is just too much.

 

Becks,

That's great you're able to watch television and use your Chromebook.  And it sounds wonderful to me to be able to lay down. Now for you that might be something you're tired of doing. I have the opposite problem I can be extremely exhausted and unable to lay down unless it's time to go to bed otherwise the fear intensifies. I'm also sensory affected so I can't use the computer or watch television. Using my phone can be a challenge but that's the way I post on the forum. We all definitely have our strengths and weaknesses.

 

JBen,

You are right this really is a beautiful group of people. So compassionate and loving.

 

As far as symptoms go I have symptoms that cycle in and out and there are quite a few of them. One of my worst symptoms is the intense chemical fear. I believe the fear exacerbates my other symptoms like my side pain and tingling and my extreme nausea. I also get a really heavy chemical depression that comes and goes. I also get visited with extreme jaw pain and headache, those come and go . Tinnitus and heart palpitations, terrible light and sound Sensitivity. Difficult to carry on conversations with anyone even those that I love. It makes it very difficult to distract from anything with sensory issues. Night time can be absolutely horrifying. Because I meditate for about an hour or so to get myself in a nice calm State and I fall asleep and then it can be within the hour that I wake up in my first terror attack. That continues through the night I continue to wake up and fall back to sleep and some nights it's hard to get any rest. So, I'm really looking for this fear to be gone soon. I had chemical anxiety last year that was just as terrible and that left me in the 13th month that was June. So I'm trying to stay hopeful.

 

It really sounds like you have your situation figured out when it comes to eating. That is such a blessing. Because then you can take the proper measures to help keep yourself from having a terrible attack. I keep trying to figure out my situation but it's so psychotic I'm unable to. It's a roller coaster ride of horrors. I'm ready to get off this ride now.

 

Bess,

30 minutes. Wow! That is wonderful.

 

Hugs to all you beautiful people!

 

LiveLife