12-24 months and up support group

[[le...]]

Yes my husband loves Doctor Who, watches old Dr Who, Starr Trek, or Star Trek Voyager most nights. He lives all Star Wars movies as well. Sorry you are feeling lime this. I truly believe mental symptoms are the hardest things to deal with . Feeling you have lost your mind is unbelievable torture. Just announced hottest day ever recorded in UK, 40.2 think that’s in hundreds for you at Heathrow Airport. Which is South East where I am. I do think heat is exacerbating my symptoms. I hate what this is doing to my husband and fact he has no life because of me. But I do actually think might not be here if it wasn’t for him. I came very close to not being here in the early stages, he used get very upset when I talked like that. Do sometimes still feel like that at times. He has had mental health problems in past so understands. Think it is hard fir others to understand, I think must be hard if you are on your own. Even though your hubby not so understanding think you might struggled more if he wasn’t around. I’m an emotional mess most time, you could be worse could be me😊

[[He...]]

Hi all,

 

I'm reading all the comments. SO sorry for people in the horrible heat wave and lack of ways to stay cool. It sounds miserable.  Leann, it's really no wonder you are struggling. It's going to get better....

 

LD, I don't know that I've been quiet but I'm ok...been pretty wavy so feeling less chatty, that's all.  I feel like today might be a tick better than the last few so I am grateful for that.

 

I'm thinking of GG with the tummy issues and LD with the balance issues and all the hot people over in the UK and Europe and all the Covid recoverers too. 

 

 

 

 

[[Ga...]]

Hello all, and especially Deanna who has asked about my GI issues!  I will post a little later today as I am going to my GP’s office this morning to have an EKG, as required for my biopsy next Thursday.

 

In short, nothing alarming, just some helpful measures to get my nausea and belching under control….uugg, one of my earliest symptoms in bwd, almost 28 months ago!  I guess all the antibiotics have really upset my entire gut with its trillions of gaba receptors.  Another gift that keeps on giving😱😱😱😱😱

 

Hugs,

 

GG

[[Ga...]]

Did anyone see the new research article about a definite link between the Epstein Bar Virus and MS?!  Just google those two words and see the interesting article.

 

Hugs,

 

GG

[[La...]]

Pashu,

I sure hope that the head pressure settles down soon. Like you said it's darkest before the dawn. So let's hope it's the worse before it gets better.

 

Bess,

If you go to a psych just be careful that they don't overmedicate you. If you're doing okay right now on the olanzapine maybe you should just work with that for a while and try to see if it can help you get through. I know they have a tendency to want to throw a lot of medication at people. I know how hard it is to not be able to distract when you're feeling so awful. At times we feel desperate and would do anything but we just have to make sure not to do anything to make our situation worse. I hope your doctor is benzo wise.

 

Leann,

I was hoping you would be doing better, but I'm sure soon things well improve. And after the last bout you went through things got much better. So hoping that's going to happen for you again.

 

Lisa,

I'm sorry to hear you're still in that wave. Hopefully you're going to be surfing to shore soon.

 

GG,

Hoping this GI issues get resolved for you very soon. It's possible you just need a probiotic or something to help you because of being on those antibiotics they can really throw the gut Flora off. Let us know what your doctor says. And thank you so much for the well wishes I'm still waiting to turn a corner, trying to hang on.

 

LadyDen,

Thank you for the encouraging words I sure hope I do turn a corner tomorrow. Every night I go to bed I keep praying for that. It's really been hard to hang on. It's unbelievable what this can do to you for untold lengths of time. How have you been doing? Is your wave getting any easier?

 

Sending warm love and healing hugs to all my benzo buddies!

 

LiveLife

My waves have been off and on. When they’re on they are more intense lately. This is normal for me because when I turn another month I get more intense waves…every month since month 1. Very strange. As if my body keeps track every 30 days. Weird, right? Some of my waves are easier than others. But I will say that they don’t last as long as they used to. If I did an average of my wave’s intensity, they used to be 7-9 on a 10 scale but now they’re 4-6 except my turn another month waves are usually 7’s for a few days. I’m counting my blessings. I’m ready for you to turn your corner. Hang in there it’s coming!

Big hugs ❤️

[[La...]]

Hi all,

 

I'm reading all the comments. SO sorry for people in the horrible heat wave and lack of ways to stay cool. It sounds miserable.  Leann, it's really no wonder you are struggling. It's going to get better....

 

LD, I don't know that I've been quiet but I'm ok...been pretty wavy so feeling less chatty, that's all.  I feel like today might be a tick better than the last few so I am grateful for that.

 

I'm thinking of GG with the tummy issues and LD with the balance issues and all the hot people over in the UK and Europe and all the Covid recoverers too.

Good to hear it’s better. Yay! We will take what we can get, right? Yes I saw the extreme heat in Europe. I know what’s it like being from Louisiana. That is common every year. Thank God for AC!

May you have an even better day with feeling well enough to do something that puts a smile on your beautiful face, Twin! Big hugs and love 💕

 

[[le...]]

No air con here, just fans that we can’t afford to have on too long coz energy prices doubled. Meant ease bit tomorrow thank god. Horrible and humid here. Have been in Dubai when temperatures were like this, but was a dry heat. Also went on Nike cruise didn’t feel like this. Runway at one airports melted, trains stopped running, car burst into flames queuing for car park. 4 kids died diving into lakes.. No wonder I’m in a wave. Come and get me Scotty. Another night no sleep

[[He...]]

Leann,

 

I heard a whole report on the bridge in London being wrapped in tin foil and the airport runway and the deaths. It's so extreme. I'm really sorry you all are having to endure this.  Hope it moves on soon.

 

Helen

[[Li...]]

Lisa,

I am still suffering tremendously!  I know it's withdrawal but it's hard to hang on. My symptoms have been off the charts. Thanks for asking. How about you how have you been doing?

 

LadyDen,

Well it's good to hear that your waves are lighter than they used to be. I know it's probably not a big consolation when you're going through it but I would give anything for a break or some relief. And thank you for the encouragement you keep giving me and saying I'm going to turn a corner soon I keep trying to hang on to that thought today I'm just in tears.

 

Hugs!

 

LiveLife

[[le...]]

Leann,

 

I heard a whole report on the bridge in London being wrapped in tin foil and the airport runway and the deaths. It's so extreme. I'm really sorry you all are having to endure this.  Hope it moves on soon.

 

Helen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Meant be a bit cooler tomorrow. Our houses are designed to keep houses warmer. Ours has cavity wall insulation makes it even hotter. I know some parts of US regularly get high temperatures, but they are geared up for it, have air con etc. Not eating much so maybe might loose bit weight. Lot fires in London.

 

[[de...]]

LiveLife:  I hate that you are struggling so much.  Wish I could take that away?  What are your main symptoms?  How long has this been going on?  If I remember correctly, it has been a while?  Are you sleeping much???  Are you able to do much during the day?

 

I am in a terrible wave myself.  The worst part has been going on now for about 10 days, but overall it has been going on about 2 1/2 months.  So hard! 

 

It is so disheartening to seemingly go backwards!  I know we aren't but it sure feels like that.

 

I am thinking about you!!! 

[[...]]

 

I am still suffering tremendously!  I know it's withdrawal but it's hard to hang on. My symptoms have been off the charts. Thanks for asking. How about you how have you been doing?

 

LadyDen,

Well it's good to hear that your waves are lighter than they used to be. I know it's probably not a big consolation when you're going through it but I would give anything for a break or some relief. And thank you for the encouragement you keep giving me and saying I'm going to turn a corner soon I keep trying to hang on to that thought today I'm just in tears.

 

Hugs!

 

LiveLife

 

Hey LiveLife.  Sending you so many hugs right now.  I am so sorry you are struggling so much today.  You will turn that corner really soon.  I just know it in my heart.  In the meantime just hang on tight and keep distracting.

 

I just took up meditation again.  It was really hard at first with all the symptoms but it is helping even if for a brief time.

[[Be...]]

Hey everyone,

 

Hope you’re all doing ok.  Some good news: I drove a car for 12 minutes today - yippppeeeee! Super excited.  My concussion rehab guy says I can extend the driving 5 minutes each day - so soon in a few weeks I’ll be pretty much fully mobile - yayyyyyyyyy!!’

 

 

Thanks so much for all your encouragement - it means a lot xxx

[[de...]]

Bess:  So happy for you!  Keep going!  You are going to get better!

 

Needing some encouragement this morning!  I am up at the crack of dawn because I have been jolted awake by anxiety.  Mornings can be so hard.  My anxiety is off the charts.  I am worried about anything and everything; especially my daughters.  One has lost a little wait, and she was already naturally thin, so now I am convinced she has an eating disorder.  I catastrophize everything.  The rumination and worry are driving me CRAZY.  I have had lots of anxiety throughout this process, but this is a new level of hell.  Also I feel disconnected from "reality"; not even sure what day it is most of the time.  It seems most of my symptoms are more mental than physical.  I do have physical symptoms as well, but the mental symptoms are so intense and unrelenting.

 

My hubby is out of town and wont be back until Saturday.  I am so glad he is getting some fun, down time, but I am ready for him to be home. 

 

Would love to hear any thoughts you may have.  I just can't believe that a few months ago I thought I was almost healed.

 

Hope everyone had a good night's sleep and has a decent day.

 

 

[[le...]]

Sorry you are feeling like this. I’m along there with you at the moment. Never felt like I was recovering, but up to about a week or so ago was coping a bit better. Now feel I’m never going to recover .Was so hot last night was dripping wet most of the night. Has got a bit cooler outside thankfully but still hot in my house. Maybe try gently mentioning to your daughter you are bit concerned. I used to really watch my weight was bit obsessed in my teenage, early twenties, mainly because as a child my mum made me feel I was fat.There is a lot of pressure on girls nowadays to look a certain shape. I think you are justified in having some concerns just have approach it in right way, she’s lucky to have such caring Mum.Could you maybe voice your concerns to your  other daughter see what she says. Maybe her sister might confided in her. Mental symptoms and anxiety truly are the hardest symptoms to deal with . Hugs xx

[[...]]

Bess:  So happy for you!  Keep going!  You are going to get better!

 

Needing some encouragement this morning!  I am up at the crack of dawn because I have been jolted awake by anxiety.  Mornings can be so hard.  My anxiety is off the charts.  I am worried about anything and everything; especially my daughters.  One has lost a little wait, and she was already naturally thin, so now I am convinced she has an eating disorder.  I catastrophize everything.  The rumination and worry are driving me CRAZY.  I have had lots of anxiety throughout this process, but this is a new level of hell.  Also I feel disconnected from "reality"; not even sure what day it is most of the time.  It seems most of my symptoms are more mental than physical.  I do have physical symptoms as well, but the mental symptoms are so intense and unrelenting.

 

My hubby is out of town and wont be back until Saturday.  I am so glad he is getting some fun, down time, but I am ready for him to be home. 

 

Would love to hear any thoughts you may have.  I just can't believe that a few months ago I thought I was almost healed.

 

Hope everyone had a good night's sleep and has a decent day.

 

Gosh I am so sorry you are having such a wave. I can totally relate to mornings being terrible - I think it is the cortisol.  I can also relate to the disconnection from reality - my therapist says this is a trauma response and that your mind is trying to manage the trauma being caused as best it can.  She said not to be scared of it.  This will all pass for us.  I’ve seen so many folks heal up.  Healing is right around the corner.  You will wake up one morning and say, oh wow I feel better today.

 

Keep going.  We are here for you!

[[de...]]

Thanks, JBen!  So appreciate your encouragement; it means a lot.  How are you feeling these days?

[[...]]

Every so slowly getting better.  Slooooooowly is the key word.  Ugh!

[[La...]]

Leann,

 

I heard a whole report on the bridge in London being wrapped in tin foil and the airport runway and the deaths. It's so extreme. I'm really sorry you all are having to endure this.  Hope it moves on soon.

 

Helen

Yes I second that. I’m so sorry that you’re having all this dread heat wave. Stay cool Leann. Big hugs 🤗

 

Helen. hugs! 🤗 how are you today?

[[Li...]]

Lisa,

I'm sorry to hear you're still struggling especially after doing as well as you were. But I do believe that you are going to turn a corner very soon. You were doing so well when you turn this corner you're going to be doing better than ever. I do believe the fears you're having about your daughter are connected to withdrawal. There might be something there legitimately but, we have so many intense fears that are magnified when the anxiety is flared up. Maybe you should wait until this all settles down and see how you feel then. Our brains aren't working right and we could look at a situation and it might be magnified. It's so hard to tell. I understand your concerns and this can be so frustrating and that's putting it mildly.

 

I have been struggling very badly for the last few months. I might get a little break from the intense chemical fear now and then and it's wonderful. Having many symptoms. Tingling in the left side of my body, left-sided pain jaw pain with headaches, right now I'm having terrible stomach issues feeling like I'm going to throw up, intense chemical fear, chemical depression, tinnitus, heart palpitations, excited nervous system, sensory issues still can't watch television have problems with light and sound. As far as sleeping it just depends I meditate every night for an hour and sometimes I'm able to get to sleep but I have fear wake ups through the night. I get broken sleep, sometimes it's hard to get any sleep and I'm hoping for that to change. I don't know if I missed any but those have been cycling through worse than ever. I'm really hoping this is fine-tuning and I'm going to be turning a corner soon. One thing I like to do is sit out in the backyard my husband has a flower garden that is just beautiful and butterflies come. I have difficulty reading but I have recently in piecemeal been reading Baylissa's Book again. Thank you for asking. It will get better! We just have to hang in there. Sending you much love.

 

Jben,

Thank you for your words of encouragement. I too do meditation it's the way I try to get some sleep at night. And it definitely makes a difference most of the time. So glad to hear you're getting better.

 

Bess,

So happy to hear the good news. Sounds like you're getting there. Just hang on, it's getting better.

 

Hugs!

 

LiveLife

[[La...]]

Happy 25 months to me! Wooohoo! How do I feel….

Very sad that we lost one of our own- my friend Zman! May he Rest In Peace. 🕊

Celebrating with a wave- typical for me every time I turn another month. Very strange. I can’t figure that one out.

Happy - to have another month under my belt. 24 month was pretty rough the whole month and this one seems to be as well. But perhaps this shift will break soon this month. I’d like to get back to walking more again as I was doing so well before I turned 24 months. Ughhhh….benzo beast is unreal, right?

Encouraged- I’ve made great progress in my healing compared to last year. I’m looking forward to the completion of my healing this year. God please let it be soon. Please please please ( begging like James Brown) 

 

Helen❤️

Lisa ❤️

JBen ❤️

Leann ❤️

Bess ❤️

Live ❤️

Deanna ❤️

Becks ❤️

Stitch ❤️

Sandy ❤️

GG ❤️

Winnie ❤️

Pashu ❤️

Whoever I missed ❤️

May all of you, beautiful yearlings enjoy your day as best as you can. I’m thinking of you.

I might take a couple of days off BB to grieve Zman. You all hold down this fort please. If the Benzo Beast come knocking don’t let him in! He’s not welcome here! Be careful he has a slick mouth…don’t fall for it!

Remember you are a caterpillar 🐛 in your cocoon growing your wings of freedom to become a beautiful butterfly 🦋

That takes time. Today is one more day of the process! Well done, my friends!

[[Li...]]

LadyDen,

Congratulations on months 25! I'm 5 days away from month 26 myself. I sure hope you and I can start feeling much much better soon. But you say you always have a bit of a wave when you come into a new month so, maybe this will be the final one. That would be so wonderful!

 

Hugs!

 

LiveLife

[[La...]]

Bess:  So happy for you!  Keep going!  You are going to get better!

 

Needing some encouragement this morning!  I am up at the crack of dawn because I have been jolted awake by anxiety.  Mornings can be so hard.  My anxiety is off the charts.  I am worried about anything and everything; especially my daughters.  One has lost a little wait, and she was already naturally thin, so now I am convinced she has an eating disorder.  I catastrophize everything.  The rumination and worry are driving me CRAZY.  I have had lots of anxiety throughout this process, but this is a new level of hell.  Also I feel disconnected from "reality"; not even sure what day it is most of the time.  It seems most of my symptoms are more mental than physical.  I do have physical symptoms as well, but the mental symptoms are so intense and unrelenting.

 

My hubby is out of town and wont be back until Saturday.  I am so glad he is getting some fun, down time, but I am ready for him to be home. 

 

Would love to hear any thoughts you may have.  I just can't believe that a few months ago I thought I was almost healed.

 

Hope everyone had a good night's sleep and has a decent day.

:hug: :mybuddy:

 

My morning dread is bad too. So you’re not alone. It just takes more time to settle down but it will. I talked to another buddy here that’s about 3-4 months ahead of me. She had the morning dread so bad with the anxiety as the ring leader. Many months then it gradually got better. It returned at 2 years, stayed a couple of months then fizzled back out the door. Now she rarely feels any morning dread and doesn’t get jolted up 4-5am anymore. She now has just annoying symptoms during the day that are mild. Mostly occurring when she’s overtired or stressed. She said she had mornings really bad! And thought it would never let up. She said she stopped fighting it and then it got better slowly. So hopefully mine and yours will fade out soon.

Mine did fade away for a couple of months but since turning 2 years it is back. BUT milder than before. Hope that helps, my dear! Hang in there. It has to let up eventually. 

🤗❤️

[[La...]]

Every so slowly getting better.  Slooooooowly is the key word.  Ugh!

Sooooooo damn slowwwwwwww! Ugh! I agree!

[[le...]]

Happy 25 months to me! Wooohoo! How do I feel….

Very sad that we lost one of our own- my friend Zman! May he Rest In Peace. 🕊

Celebrating with a wave- typical for me every time I turn another month. Very strange. I can’t figure that one out.

Happy - to have another month under my belt. 24 month was pretty rough the whole month and this one seems to be as well. But perhaps this shift will break soon this month. I’d like to get back to walking more again as I was doing so well before I turned 24 months. Ughhhh….benzo beast is unreal, right?

Encouraged- I’ve made great progress in my healing compared to last year. I’m looking forward to the completion of my healing this year. God please let it be soon. Please please please ( begging like James Brown) 

 

Helen❤️

Lisa ❤️

JBen ❤️

Leann ❤️

Bess ❤️

Live ❤️

Deanna ❤️

Becks ❤️

Stitch ❤️

Sandy ❤️

GG ❤️

Winnie ❤️

Pashu ❤️

Whoever I missed ❤️

May all of you, beautiful yearlings enjoy your day as best as you can. I’m thinking of you.

I might take a couple of days off BB to grieve Zman. You all hold down this fort please. If the Benzo Beast come knocking don’t let him in! He’s not welcome here! Be careful he has a slick mouth…don’t fall for it!

Remember you are a caterpillar 🐛 in your cocoon growing your wings of freedom to become a beautiful butterfly 🦋

That takes time. Today is one more day of the process! Well done, my friends!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I didn’t know Zman  but gather from what was posted he got to stage couldn’t cope any more. Very sad when people are driven to feel like that, I can understand only too well how people can feel that desperate.Weather bit cooler  here fir moment thank goodness was 39 C yesterday here. I’m not too bad at least was able to go out for walk now weather cooler.  Seems things very up and down for all of us at moment. Thinking of you Ladyden xx