12-24 months and up support group

[[Up...]]

I do not have daily in person support.  I am a caregiver of a child who needs me and my family loves me but can’t save me from afar.  Many losses from this.  It’s my battle and I own it. 

[[le...]]

LiveLife:

 

Hey there!  Thanks for your encouraging words.  Actually our symptoms sound a lot alike.  I don't have tinnitus or the insense pain on the left side of my body, but about everything else you mentioned.    Today I have had lots of heart palpitations.

 

I am able to distract.  I do lots of stuff around my house and will run an errand or two if my anxiety will allow.  I am on my computer quite a bit.  I do have some support at home.  My daughters are traveling this summer so they are not at home which is probably a good thing.  One is 18 and the other 20,  and it can get a little stressful when they are home.    My husband tries to be supportive, but he is so frustrated with this and doesn't understand why it is taking so long.  He is always telling me things to "do" to help me get better.  That is a little frustrating for me, but I listen. 

 

How long has this wave been going on for you?

 

Hey Decatur - Just wanted to say that I had such a difficult time with my husband especially in the beginning.  Of course he just couldn't understand what we are going through - we look fine to them.  He is the kind of guy who was brought up to "rub dirt on it" and get on with life.  His theory about my symptoms were that I was making it all worse by focusing on them.  While there is some truth to that - we are flooded with these awful symptoms and it is just not possible sometimes to just "deal with it".  It has really impacted our relationship.  I'm still not myself and the whole experience has been so traumatic that even if every symptom left me tomorrow, I wouldn't be the same person I used to be.  I'm just so much more serious than I used to be and not much fun at all to be with.  I guess I'm in survival mode all the time.

 

Hope things get better for all of us soon!!!

Big hugs Deanna! 🤗 Wow I can relate to this. It does impact everyone. And you’re so right that we are unfortunately forced to focus on our symptoms because they’re sometimes too intense to just simply ignore. Which is why we distract as much as possible. Our families just don’t understand this. And we will not be the same after going through this traumatic experience for as long as we have. We all are in survival mode. Don’t feel bad about that. We have to! But we will be fun again because our symptoms will be gone.   

From other healed buddies….probably more fun than before.

 

That would be a huge gift for us after all this suffering!  Thanks LadyDen...What would we do without this forum?  I don't want to think about it.

I don’t want to imagine either! You’re so right. We are blessed! Can you imagine the many people suffering from the drugs that don’t know about this forum or what’s happening to them? Going from doctor to doctor trying to figure it out and prove they’re not crazy? My heart aches for them.

Sending you love and hugs 🤗❤️

 

I have a friend who I suspected for years did not have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome but was suffering from benzo illness. I tried many times to gently let her know it could be the meds.  3 years later and lots of doctor visits under her belt, she finally is getting it. Of course, started off gangbusters (what her doc said would be a "gentle" taper) and now she's sick as all get out.  This forum is so very valuable.  SOOO many people are suffering from meds and chasing other answers and I hate to say it but I feel sort of hopeless for them until they can finally be open to the fact that their docs aren't always right and it's the meds!!!  It's very sad.  I know I tried many different remedies and types of doctors both holistic and western.  I really hope the public is made aware of the truth about this scourge sooner rather than later.

Girl well said! I wish to God I could turn back the hands of time. I wish I knew it was Ambien that was making me sick too. But it is what it is now. I’m off of it 2 years and about 3 weeks so all I can do is look forward to healing and let it be a permanent lesson learned to never trust wholeheartedly a doctor. Research, check out what he’s saying and be my own advocate. Because at the end of the day I will be the one suffering for it. As I am now! As we are now! I’m sorry but these doctors are playing God in many instances. We were simply doing what the doctor told us. That’s NOT our fault. I also sympathize with people that have no idea what is really happening to their brains on these so called “ safe” pills. We are so blessed to have stumbled by the grace of god on this site that has opened our eyes to why we were so sick. It is sad that so many will not even know to look. Your friend better take this serious. It’s brain damage! Thanks to God in majority of cases not permanent. But wow it robs us of years that we can’t get back. And robs us of so much more as in my case ( everything! And still taking more). I wish they give these doctors benzos/zdrugs  for a month and snatch it away suddenly so they will KNOW personally what it does to their patients. Perhaps then they would think more than twice about prescribing it like candy. It’s used as a go to for everything! As in my case, I didn’t have anxiety. I had insomnia due to back to back trauma. I should not have been given that poison. Especially for as long as I was and especially not at such high doses being a female. No wonder I’m still so sick and debilitated. Every time I think about it, I get readied eyed angry. I apologize to my brain because I didn’t know! I was following the doctor’s orders by taking a “ safe” helper to sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So well said Lady Den. I was 12 years on zopiclone like you never any anxiety just insomnia. Wish to God put up with the insomnia. 40 months off only just seeing bit improvement. Don’t know about US, but over here trying to get everyone off the poison they got them hooked on. Telling them like me will be a walk in park, just go cold turkey. I was told I was lucky I didn’t have a seizure being made to go cold turkey. Hope to god one day doctors pay for what they’ve done. Ashton published her manual 20 years ago, so they have known this was problem fir long time, just ignored it. How are things with your family, hope they are easing a bit.

[[De...]]

Agree with everything said here!  I think what complicates the issue further is the cumulative damage done by more than one psychoactive drug.  The layered damage is just too much for anyone to understand and yes everyone is unique so there are an infinite number of outcomes for people taking the same cocktail of drugs.

 

I can only blame myself for taking benadryl on top o the Ambien, as it was over the counter.  But the gabapentin on top of that - along with all the meds for pain, etc, my brain/body/nervous system are SO CONFUSED that now I'm even still afraid to drink camomile tea!!! 

[[La...]]

LiveLife:

 

Hey there!  Thanks for your encouraging words.  Actually our symptoms sound a lot alike.  I don't have tinnitus or the insense pain on the left side of my body, but about everything else you mentioned.    Today I have had lots of heart palpitations.

 

I am able to distract.  I do lots of stuff around my house and will run an errand or two if my anxiety will allow.  I am on my computer quite a bit.  I do have some support at home.  My daughters are traveling this summer so they are not at home which is probably a good thing.  One is 18 and the other 20,  and it can get a little stressful when they are home.    My husband tries to be supportive, but he is so frustrated with this and doesn't understand why it is taking so long.  He is always telling me things to "do" to help me get better.  That is a little frustrating for me, but I listen. 

 

How long has this wave been going on for you?

 

Hey Decatur - Just wanted to say that I had such a difficult time with my husband especially in the beginning.  Of course he just couldn't understand what we are going through - we look fine to them.  He is the kind of guy who was brought up to "rub dirt on it" and get on with life.  His theory about my symptoms were that I was making it all worse by focusing on them.  While there is some truth to that - we are flooded with these awful symptoms and it is just not possible sometimes to just "deal with it".  It has really impacted our relationship.  I'm still not myself and the whole experience has been so traumatic that even if every symptom left me tomorrow, I wouldn't be the same person I used to be.  I'm just so much more serious than I used to be and not much fun at all to be with.  I guess I'm in survival mode all the time.

 

Hope things get better for all of us soon!!!

Big hugs Deanna! 🤗 Wow I can relate to this. It does impact everyone. And you’re so right that we are unfortunately forced to focus on our symptoms because they’re sometimes too intense to just simply ignore. Which is why we distract as much as possible. Our families just don’t understand this. And we will not be the same after going through this traumatic experience for as long as we have. We all are in survival mode. Don’t feel bad about that. We have to! But we will be fun again because our symptoms will be gone.   

From other healed buddies….probably more fun than before.

 

That would be a huge gift for us after all this suffering!  Thanks LadyDen...What would we do without this forum?  I don't want to think about it.

I don’t want to imagine either! You’re so right. We are blessed! Can you imagine the many people suffering from the drugs that don’t know about this forum or what’s happening to them? Going from doctor to doctor trying to figure it out and prove they’re not crazy? My heart aches for them.

Sending you love and hugs 🤗❤️

 

I have a friend who I suspected for years did not have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome but was suffering from benzo illness. I tried many times to gently let her know it could be the meds.  3 years later and lots of doctor visits under her belt, she finally is getting it. Of course, started off gangbusters (what her doc said would be a "gentle" taper) and now she's sick as all get out.  This forum is so very valuable.  SOOO many people are suffering from meds and chasing other answers and I hate to say it but I feel sort of hopeless for them until they can finally be open to the fact that their docs aren't always right and it's the meds!!!  It's very sad.  I know I tried many different remedies and types of doctors both holistic and western.  I really hope the public is made aware of the truth about this scourge sooner rather than later.

Girl well said! I wish to God I could turn back the hands of time. I wish I knew it was Ambien that was making me sick too. But it is what it is now. I’m off of it 2 years and about 3 weeks so all I can do is look forward to healing and let it be a permanent lesson learned to never trust wholeheartedly a doctor. Research, check out what he’s saying and be my own advocate. Because at the end of the day I will be the one suffering for it. As I am now! As we are now! I’m sorry but these doctors are playing God in many instances. We were simply doing what the doctor told us. That’s NOT our fault. I also sympathize with people that have no idea what is really happening to their brains on these so called “ safe” pills. We are so blessed to have stumbled by the grace of god on this site that has opened our eyes to why we were so sick. It is sad that so many will not even know to look. Your friend better take this serious. It’s brain damage! Thanks to God in majority of cases not permanent. But wow it robs us of years that we can’t get back. And robs us of so much more as in my case ( everything! And still taking more). I wish they give these doctors benzos/zdrugs  for a month and snatch it away suddenly so they will KNOW personally what it does to their patients. Perhaps then they would think more than twice about prescribing it like candy. It’s used as a go to for everything! As in my case, I didn’t have anxiety. I had insomnia due to back to back trauma. I should not have been given that poison. Especially for as long as I was and especially not at such high doses being a female. No wonder I’m still so sick and debilitated. Every time I think about it, I get readied eyed angry. I apologize to my brain because I didn’t know! I was following the doctor’s orders by taking a “ safe” helper to sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So well said Lady Den. I was 12 years on zopiclone like you never any anxiety just insomnia. Wish to God put up with the insomnia. 40 months off only just seeing bit improvement. Don’t know about US, but over here trying to get everyone off the poison they got them hooked on. Telling them like me will be a walk in park, just go cold turkey. I was told I was lucky I didn’t have a seizure being made to go cold turkey. Hope to god one day doctors pay for what they’ve done. Ashton published her manual 20 years ago, so they have known this was problem fir long time, just ignored it. How are things with your family, hope they are easing a bit.

Thanks Leann. Things are not good with my family issue. But I’m trying to approach it as I’ve done this recovery….serenity prayer of acceptance and courage. I can’t afford the added stress. In the words of Forest Gump “sometimes there’s just not enough rocks!” That’s how I feel right now. So, I’m trying to remain calm, keep my focus of God who is truly my all in all. I want this recovery nightmare to be over so I can have a more normal life. It is hard to find joy when you are alone and going through this. I’ve learned to be very creative to have some joy. When I go to bed at night, I remember Job in the Bible who had everything taken from him including his health. I feel like him. So I look at what he did….he didn’t waiver from his faith in God no matter how it made him look or whoever told him God forgot him so curse God. Even his own wife told him to curse God and just die. But he refused because he knew in his heart that he wasn’t abandoned by God. He was broken down for something much greater. And sure enough God touched him with an abundance of blessings to give him better and more than what he lost as a reward for his faithfulness.

I know I’ve shared bits and pieces of what’s going on in my world but honestly that isn’t even the half of it. But I trust God….that’s all I need. Either I do that or I will die. Not necessarily speaking physically. This life we live is the gospel we preach. As bad as this is, none of us endured the death of an outcast dog on the cross like the Messiah did. This recovery isn’t a walk in the park but we are alive to get to the next day. There were so many that didn’t. I’m grateful that when my family failed me, God gave me this one as a substitute. More importantly HE is my family in reality. Leann everyday I thank him no matter if I wake up in terrible morning dread stuck in my apartment physically alone with only the sound of the birds outside my window. I made peace with my family’s lack of love and support. If they come see me, fine. If they don’t, fine. I can’t let it drive me crazy because I’m too busy healing. Don’t get me wrong, it hurts like hell.

Once again I’m so very happy for your feeling better. And thank you for being so sweet to ask how I’m doing.

🌹

[[La...]]

Agree with everything said here!  I think what complicates the issue further is the cumulative damage done by more than one psychoactive drug.  The layered damage is just too much for anyone to understand and yes everyone is unique so there are an infinite number of outcomes for people taking the same cocktail of drugs.

 

I can only blame myself for taking benadryl on top o the Ambien, as it was over the counter.  But the gabapentin on top of that - along with all the meds for pain, etc, my brain/body/nervous system are SO CONFUSED that now I'm even still afraid to drink camomile tea!!! 

Deanna happy to see your post. I can relate with what you’re saying even though I wasn’t polydrugged. I’m scared to try certain things as well. I’m also aware that we won’t ever know unless we try. The way to do that is try a little it and see how it goes…maybe a half cup of tea?

How are your waves?

❤️

[[La...]]

Hello to all my beautiful Buddies. I see there have been many comments since I was last on here. I am having such a hard time. I won't elaborate because I know you all are aware of my struggles. I see that some of you are struggling pretty badly as well. Wishing all of you move through this very very quickly and soon see a beautiful sparkling clear window. I sure wish that for all of us. This misery has got to go! Warm love and healing hugs to all.

 

LiveLife

My heart goes out to you, Live. But you are stronger than you think. Look what you’ve endured and where you’ve come from so far. You faced benzo beast square on and came off your pills. That is not a light thing. Very well done! Now your brain has to figure out to regain its normal state. It IS doing that everyday even if we can’t tell. All these waves and symptoms aren’t for nothing. Work is in progress. I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time. Trust and know that lighter days are ahead. Keep hanging in there. I agree this misery has to go. And it will.

Big hugs and love to you!

[[La...]]

Lean,

Thank you.❤️ Having someone say it is ok to complain, strangely makes me feel a bit better. If it takes a while I suppose that is the fact of things.

A full moon I forgot about they believe that it causes some crazy.

 

Maybe good crazy like we feel better for a bit? I was told the moon had healing properties, it sounds like mumbo jumbo but it would be nice if it were true.

 

 

Deanna

Is that so, meditation and laughter. Well I will try to give that a go. I wonder if meditation youtube videos would work. Thank you for the reassurance and the insight!

 

LadyDen

Yes, it sucks! Thank you for joining me in my complaining. Sometimes I just need a pity party, but I got to use them sparingly. I'm sorry its been affecting your teeth as well. Right now I just got the nerve pain in my mouth and strangely on the tip of my nose.I will see if I can get someone to draw with me. That is not a half bad idea to try.

I feel your frustration and can't wait for the moment you can drive. Isn't the hair lose just the icing on the cake? Thank you for the hugs, lots of love to you.

 

LiveLife

I hope good days come to you soon. Its good to see you post. hang in there. That window has to come soon.❤️

Stitch please let me know when you try drawing with a friend. That strange face pain sounds annoying. Woah! Hope it clears out soon. Thank you for being a good friend. And I can’t wait to drive too. Yet he hair loss is unreal. Thank God it stopped before I started looking like a witch with scraggly hair.

Love you back ❤️🌹

[[La...]]

Much strength to everyone. My symptoms have been unbearable the last few weeks and I see a few of you are really struggling too. We got this! One day at a time.

Pashu those symptoms are hell, right? Wow how do we get through each day? But we do. We struggle, we make it and come on here taking turns being Moaning Minnie. That’s what we are for. You’re so right, we do got this! We’ve made it this far so onward we go….feeling like crap on crap. One day at a time as you said.

Sometimes for me, it’s one hour at a time.

Big hugs 🤗

[[...]]

Hi everyone.  I’ve read through all of your posts this morning.  Boy I can see so much hope and love and determination.  It is inspiring to me.  Today is an air hunger and high anxiety day.  I can barely catch my breath today.  It is difficult for sure but trying not to let it take me down.

 

Hugs to all of you.

 

[[de...]]

LiveLife:

 

Hey there!  Thanks for your encouraging words.  Actually our symptoms sound a lot alike.  I don't have tinnitus or the insense pain on the left side of my body, but about everything else you mentioned.    Today I have had lots of heart palpitations.

 

I am able to distract.  I do lots of stuff around my house and will run an errand or two if my anxiety will allow.  I am on my computer quite a bit.  I do have some support at home.  My daughters are traveling this summer so they are not at home which is probably a good thing.  One is 18 and the other 20,  and it can get a little stressful when they are home.    My husband tries to be supportive, but he is so frustrated with this and doesn't understand why it is taking so long.  He is always telling me things to "do" to help me get better.  That is a little frustrating for me, but I listen. 

 

How long has this wave been going on for you?

 

Hey Decatur - Just wanted to say that I had such a difficult time with my husband especially in the beginning.  Of course he just couldn't understand what we are going through - we look fine to them.  He is the kind of guy who was brought up to "rub dirt on it" and get on with life.  His theory about my symptoms were that I was making it all worse by focusing on them.  While there is some truth to that - we are flooded with these awful symptoms and it is just not possible sometimes to just "deal with it".  It has really impacted our relationship.  I'm still not myself and the whole experience has been so traumatic that even if every symptom left me tomorrow, I wouldn't be the same person I used to be.  I'm just so much more serious than I used to be and not much fun at all to be with.  I guess I'm in survival mode all the time.

 

Hope things get better for all of us soon!!!

Big hugs Deanna! 🤗 Wow I can relate to this. It does impact everyone. And you’re so right that we are unfortunately forced to focus on our symptoms because they’re sometimes too intense to just simply ignore. Which is why we distract as much as possible. Our families just don’t understand this. And we will not be the same after going through this traumatic experience for as long as we have. We all are in survival mode. Don’t feel bad about that. We have to! But we will be fun again because our symptoms will be gone.   

From other healed buddies….probably more fun than before.

 

That would be a huge gift for us after all this suffering!  Thanks LadyDen...What would we do without this forum?  I don't want to think about it.

I don’t want to imagine either! You’re so right. We are blessed! Can you imagine the many people suffering from the drugs that don’t know about this forum or what’s happening to them? Going from doctor to doctor trying to figure it out and prove they’re not crazy? My heart aches for them.

Sending you love and hugs 🤗❤️

 

I have a friend who I suspected for years did not have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome but was suffering from benzo illness. I tried many times to gently let her know it could be the meds.  3 years later and lots of doctor visits under her belt, she finally is getting it. Of course, started off gangbusters (what her doc said would be a "gentle" taper) and now she's sick as all get out.  This forum is so very valuable.  SOOO many people are suffering from meds and chasing other answers and I hate to say it but I feel sort of hopeless for them until they can finally be open to the fact that their docs aren't always right and it's the meds!!!  It's very sad.  I know I tried many different remedies and types of doctors both holistic and western.  I really hope the public is made aware of the truth about this scourge sooner rather than later.

Girl well said! I wish to God I could turn back the hands of time. I wish I knew it was Ambien that was making me sick too. But it is what it is now. I’m off of it 2 years and about 3 weeks so all I can do is look forward to healing and let it be a permanent lesson learned to never trust wholeheartedly a doctor. Research, check out what he’s saying and be my own advocate. Because at the end of the day I will be the one suffering for it. As I am now! As we are now! I’m sorry but these doctors are playing God in many instances. We were simply doing what the doctor told us. That’s NOT our fault. I also sympathize with people that have no idea what is really happening to their brains on these so called “ safe” pills. We are so blessed to have stumbled by the grace of god on this site that has opened our eyes to why we were so sick. It is sad that so many will not even know to look. Your friend better take this serious. It’s brain damage! Thanks to God in majority of cases not permanent. But wow it robs us of years that we can’t get back. And robs us of so much more as in my case ( everything! And still taking more). I wish they give these doctors benzos/zdrugs  for a month and snatch it away suddenly so they will KNOW personally what it does to their patients. Perhaps then they would think more than twice about prescribing it like candy. It’s used as a go to for everything! As in my case, I didn’t have anxiety. I had insomnia due to back to back trauma. I should not have been given that poison. Especially for as long as I was and especially not at such high doses being a female. No wonder I’m still so sick and debilitated. Every time I think about it, I get readied eyed angry. I apologize to my brain because I didn’t know! I was following the doctor’s orders by taking a “ safe” helper to sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So well said Lady Den. I was 12 years on zopiclone like you never any anxiety just insomnia. Wish to God put up with the insomnia. 40 months off only just seeing bit improvement. Don’t know about US, but over here trying to get everyone off the poison they got them hooked on. Telling them like me will be a walk in park, just go cold turkey. I was told I was lucky I didn’t have a seizure being made to go cold turkey. Hope to god one day doctors pay for what they’ve done. Ashton published her manual 20 years ago, so they have known this was problem fir long time, just ignored it. How are things with your family, hope they are easing a bit.

Thanks Leann. Things are not good with my family issue. But I’m trying to approach it as I’ve done this recovery….serenity prayer of acceptance and courage. I can’t afford the added stress. In the words of Forest Gump “sometimes there’s just not enough rocks!” That’s how I feel right now. So, I’m trying to remain calm, keep my focus of God who is truly my all in all. I want this recovery nightmare to be over so I can have a more normal life. It is hard to find joy when you are alone and going through this. I’ve learned to be very creative to have some joy. When I go to bed at night, I remember Job in the Bible who had everything taken from him including his health. I feel like him. So I look at what he did….he didn’t waiver from his faith in God no matter how it made him look or whoever told him God forgot him so curse God. Even his own wife told him to curse God and just die. But he refused because he knew in his heart that he wasn’t abandoned by God. He was broken down for something much greater. And sure enough God touched him with an abundance of blessings to give him better and more than what he lost as a reward for his faithfulness.

I know I’ve shared bits and pieces of what’s going on in my world but honestly that isn’t even the half of it. But I trust God….that’s all I need. Either I do that or I will die. Not necessarily speaking physically. This life we live is the gospel we preach. As bad as this is, none of us endured the death of an outcast dog on the cross like the Messiah did. This recovery isn’t a walk in the park but we are alive to get to the next day. There were so many that didn’t. I’m grateful that when my family failed me, God gave me this one as a substitute. More importantly HE is my family in reality. Leann everyday I thank him no matter if I wake up in terrible morning dread stuck in my apartment physically alone with only the sound of the birds outside my window. I made peace with my family’s lack of love and support. If they come see me, fine. If they don’t, fine. I can’t let it drive me crazy because I’m too busy healing. Don’t get me wrong, it hurts like hell.

Once again I’m so very happy for your feeling better. And thank you for being so sweet to ask how I’m doing.

🌹

 

Lady Den:  What you "spoke" to Leeann this morning is absolutely beautiful and it is the Truth!  I am so thankful for you and your care for all of us.  God has done a wonderful thing for us by giving us each other.  Finding each other on this site was not an "accident".  I always tell Garden Guru that when I am all healed, I will miss you guys so much.    We all have "lost" so much in this struggle, but we have actually gained more than we will probably ever know.  We can see the whole picture.  Only God can see that, and we must trust that he has our best interests at heart.  Of course, I know not everyone shares my faith, but my faith is the most important thing to me in this life.  I have a wonderful family, financial security, and all that this world has to offer, but God is my rock.  He is always with me.    Hope you are having a decent day.

[[de...]]

Hi everyone.  I’ve read through all of your posts this morning.  Boy I can see so much hope and love and determination.  It is inspiring to me.  Today is an air hunger and high anxiety day.  I can barely catch my breath today.  It is difficult for sure but trying not to let it take me down.

 

Hugs to all of you.

 

 

JBen:  Sorry today is a high anxiety/air hunger day.  I too am having lots and lots of anxiety, fear, worry.  This is so difficult, but you are not alone.  Hope your day gets better.

 

Decatur/Lisa

[[De...]]

Agree with everything said here!  I think what complicates the issue further is the cumulative damage done by more than one psychoactive drug.  The layered damage is just too much for anyone to understand and yes everyone is unique so there are an infinite number of outcomes for people taking the same cocktail of drugs.

 

I can only blame myself for taking benadryl on top o the Ambien, as it was over the counter.  But the gabapentin on top of that - along with all the meds for pain, etc, my brain/body/nervous system are SO CONFUSED that now I'm even still afraid to drink camomile tea!!! 

Deanna happy to see your post. I can relate with what you’re saying even though I wasn’t polydrugged. I’m scared to try certain things as well. I’m also aware that we won’t ever know unless we try. The way to do that is try a little it and see how it goes…maybe a half cup of tea?

How are your waves?

❤️

 

Hi LadyD!  Today I am mostly back to baseline following the COVID illness.  It has been 4 weeks since I started with the first symptoms.  I actually went for a walk today - 30 minutes total.  Not too brisk but steady pace.  I had a few wavy symptoms after that but it mostly dissipated by early afternoon then felt pretty OK overall.  I'll take it as it comes and see if I can work the higher activity into my normal routine.  Exercise is so healthy for the neurotransmitters!

 

How is it going by you?

[[...]]

Thank u Lisa.

[[Li...]]

ThatOneGirlStitch and LadyDen,

 

Thank you both so much for the encouraging words. I know you both are struggling so much, yourselves. I wish you both all the best and hope we all turn corners very soon. Still just trying to get through one day to one hour at a time.

 

GG,

So happy to hear that you are improving. Keep it up.

 

Lisa and JBen,

So sorry to hear that the two of you are still struggling I hope it gets better for you soon.

 

Hugs!

 

LiveLife

[[Be...]]

Hey everyone.

 

I hope you’re all doing ok.  I’m in desperate need of help & hope.  please please write some reassurance. I saw my psych yesterday. I’ve gone crazy. Truely,  Im on 5mg of olanzapine at night. It’s not great being on it but I’ve got little choice right now.  I will never know how long I had to go before I hit my head.  Please please pray for me - im on need of hope please please.  Im not myself anymore - please please help,  Thank you so so much

[[...]]

Hey Bess.  There is hope. Sending you hugs and healing energy.  This will get better!

 

Livelife.  So nice to connect with you again.  How are you doing?

[[La...]]

Hi everyone.  I’ve read through all of your posts this morning.  Boy I can see so much hope and love and determination.  It is inspiring to me.  Today is an air hunger and high anxiety day.  I can barely catch my breath today.  It is difficult for sure but trying not to let it take me down.

 

Hugs to all of you.

 

JBen I’m loving all the suppport, hope and love here too. It’s beautiful! We suffer and still do our best to hold each other up. We reach a point that we feel we will break. After coming on here, we get just enough to say ok I can make it one more day. I’m also inspired. I’m sorry you’re having those symptoms give you the blues. You’ve got the right idea to try not to let it take you down. Getting us down is unavoidable when it’s many days, weeks and months but we must fight to not let it take us all the way down. I’m so glad you said that! I needed that reminder. I really hope the Benzo Beast leave you alone soon. It’s time for you, me and everyone to get a break….prayerfully the long permanent one that’s called healed. 

Sending you healing wishes and hugs 🤗

 

[[le...]]

Hoping you are all OK, think I’ve been hit with benzo flu or some sort virus. Had stomach ache all yesterday kept going to loo. Woke at 3 am with stinking head, took some pills. Now just ache all over like had flu, still got bad stomach ache. Even though sweltering almost feel bit shivery. Is this what benzo flu like. Been drinking plenty and don’t sit in the sun. So don’t think it’s that. Happy Days🤪

[[La...]]

Agree with everything said here!  I think what complicates the issue further is the cumulative damage done by more than one psychoactive drug.  The layered damage is just too much for anyone to understand and yes everyone is unique so there are an infinite number of outcomes for people taking the same cocktail of drugs.

 

I can only blame myself for taking benadryl on top o the Ambien, as it was over the counter.  But the gabapentin on top of that - along with all the meds for pain, etc, my brain/body/nervous system are SO CONFUSED that now I'm even still afraid to drink camomile tea!!! 

Deanna happy to see your post. I can relate with what you’re saying even though I wasn’t polydrugged. I’m scared to try certain things as well. I’m also aware that we won’t ever know unless we try. The way to do that is try a little it and see how it goes…maybe a half cup of tea?

How are your waves?

❤️

 

Hi LadyD!  Today I am mostly back to baseline following the COVID illness.  It has been 4 weeks since I started with the first symptoms.  I actually went for a walk today - 30 minutes total.  Not too brisk but steady pace.  I had a few wavy symptoms after that but it mostly dissipated by early afternoon then felt pretty OK overall.  I'll take it as it comes and see if I can work the higher activity into my normal routine.  Exercise is so healthy for the neurotransmitters!

 

How is it going by you?

A 30 minute walk…YAY for you! Before I got slammed about a week ago I had worked up to 15 minutes at a time walking. So far I’ve been trying to get back to doing that. Exercise is great for the brain and body. What makes it hard is having exercise intolerance. I am also more wavy/ boaty after I go for a walk. Mine settles down within an hour. I’m also trying to increase my walking time. I’ve broken it up into walking several 5-10 minutes intervals a day instead of all at once. So far so good. It’s hit or miss. I just rest a bit then try again. Best wishes to your increase activity. Way to go!

Big hugs! 🤗🌹

[[La...]]

Lisa how very sweet of you. I just shared what’s in my heart. God is my life. It’s wonderful to hear those things you had to say about him being yours too. I can’t make it without him. And don’t want to! Having that spiritual connection is a lifeline for me. I look over all he’s brought me through and I’m amazed that I’m not dead or in a looney institution. He just keeps on keeping me in the midst of it all.

I’d like to thank you for being such a loving friend to me and everyone. You have a beautiful personality. It warms my heart that you live a comfortable lifestyle and have not let that lifestyle steer you away from the one who gave it to you…God! None of us are promised that w lol be without tests. Without a test then we wouldn’t have a TESTimony. Right? So he can in a blink of an eye take all we have away…why? To see if you pass his test. What you will do, say, feel and think. Most importantly will you turn your back on him. These tests are also to show us where we stand. I thought I had such understanding of things because I’ve been through soooooooooooooooo much. I thought I knew what appreciation was, what peace is, love etc Lisa, he’s shown me through this test of recovering that I didn’t have a good undos the meaning of those things. I had a basic surface meanings. But thanks for this experience I do now!

I’m so grateful.

I appreciate you my friend. When this is over for us I will miss you too sweetie.

Love and hugs 🤗❤️

[[He...]]

Agree with everything said here!  I think what complicates the issue further is the cumulative damage done by more than one psychoactive drug.  The layered damage is just too much for anyone to understand and yes everyone is unique so there are an infinite number of outcomes for people taking the same cocktail of drugs.

 

I can only blame myself for taking benadryl on top o the Ambien, as it was over the counter.  But the gabapentin on top of that - along with all the meds for pain, etc, my brain/body/nervous system are SO CONFUSED that now I'm even still afraid to drink camomile tea!!! 

Deanna happy to see your post. I can relate with what you’re saying even though I wasn’t polydrugged. I’m scared to try certain things as well. I’m also aware that we won’t ever know unless we try. The way to do that is try a little it and see how it goes…maybe a half cup of tea?

How are your waves?

❤️

 

Hi LadyD!  Today I am mostly back to baseline following the COVID illness.  It has been 4 weeks since I started with the first symptoms.  I actually went for a walk today - 30 minutes total.  Not too brisk but steady pace.  I had a few wavy symptoms after that but it mostly dissipated by early afternoon then felt pretty OK overall.  I'll take it as it comes and see if I can work the higher activity into my normal routine.  Exercise is so healthy for the neurotransmitters!

 

How is it going by you?

A 30 minute walk…YAY for you! Before I got slammed about a week ago I had worked up to 15 minutes at a time walking. So far I’ve been trying to get back to doing that. Exercise is great for the brain and body. What makes it hard is having exercise intolerance. I am also more wavy/ boaty after I go for a walk. Mine settles down within an hour. I’m also trying to increase my walking time. I’ve broken it up into walking several 5-10 minutes intervals a day instead of all at once. So far so good. It’s hit or miss. I just rest a bit then try again. Best wishes to your increase activity. Way to go!

Big hugs! 🤗🌹

 

Deanna, I'm so glad you are recovering from covid.  A 30 minute walk sounds really good!  I'm with Lady Den. I have to break mine up into smaller segments.  Where I live it's easy to just pop out and take a 5 minute walk around the cul de sac or up and down the street.  A few days a week I take a longer walk depending on how wobbly I am.  It's usually just under a mile to walk to the dead end at the other end of the street and back. I have to talk to myself the whole time to keep balanced but it's very nice to look at the trees and listen to the birds and tree frogs.  Walking is so good for us and so is nature. 

[[La...]]

Bess my heart goes out to you. I hope the doctor can give you some relief with something that won’t make you worse when you come off it. All you can do is take one day at a time. A little trust that you will be ok goes a long way. Hope you have better days to come as you stabilize. We are glad to see you here again. We love and care! 🌹

 

Leann I hated reading your report after you’ve been feeling better lately. I’m not sure if it’s benzo flu or not. It could be. Could be something you ate while visiting your friend? Perhaps just stay hydrated and eat light on the tummy foods such as crackers or salads for a couple of days to see if it runs it’s course. If it gets worse to where you can’t eat or diarrhea is bad then a doctor visit to rule out a virus or food borne illness would be ideal. Hope you bounce back soon. ❤️

 

Live I hope you turn a corner soon too. I’m expecting that any day now for you. You’re in my thoughts sweetie. Hope you’re taking extra good care of yourself. Thank you for the lovely posts. Love and hugs 🤗❤️

 

Helen I’m wondering where you are? I hope you’re doing ok. Since you joined us you haven’t posted much. Hope to see you check in soon. We’d love to hear from you. Love to you ❤️

 

To anyone in the shadows just reading for encouragement please know that you are not alone. If you’re hesitant to join for whatever reason that’s ok. But I’d like to extend the invitation if you’re in need of support. Thank God that none of us connected here have to go through this alone. We have each other daily. We have God as our healer. We thank him for putting it on the heart of Colin to start this forum. It has saved many lives! Believe in your healing and you will see it. Cry, scream, yell, kick, throw something….but keep going! It is so hard to see in the dark of this but there is a light ahead. Let your weeks add up then you’ll see a tiny speck of light as you crawl back to normalcy. Keep going then that light will get brighter and brighter until you are standing in it….healed and free! Never to go back into that darkness again. Imagine yourself walking through a dark long tunnel. Imagine that tiny light at the end of it. Now walk towards it! You might fall down. You might have to sit down for a minute. That’s ok. Just get up and keep walking. You might have been walking awhile and that speck of light isn’t getting brighter yet…. It will. Don’t give up! That tunnel was just longer than you thought. You can make it!

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️👍🏼

[[He...]]

Lady Den,

 

Thanks so much for this lovely message of hope and inspiration. It's much appreciated.  How are you doing today?  I hope you can do you 15 minute walk. And I hope you're starting to feel better again and can get back to the higher level you were on before this wave. 

 

Thanks for asking about me.  I was good for 3 days (total miracle) and then hit the wall of pain on Friday night.  Ick...all the nauseous, stomach pain, burning, tingling, heart palps, and general nastiness came rushing back in.  I'm maybe a little better this morning. Yesterday was a train wreck.  It's the road we're on....

 

Thinking of all here. 

[[de...]]

Good morning or afternoon depending on where you live!  Just checking in! 

 

Leeann:  Hope you are feeling better this afternoon.  I have never experienced benzo flu so I am not quite sure if that is what is going on with you or not.  Hopefully it will pass soon.  I hear it is really hot in London.  My husband was in London yesterday and is headed to St Andrews today.  He said it is quite warm! 

 

Lady Den:  Thanks for the encouraging words!

 

Yesterday was my 28th month being free from benzos.  What a ride it has been. I am not even sure what to say as I reflect back on my recovery journey.  I do believe I will heal and actually be better than I ever was.  I am struggling mightily at the moment, but I am hopeful! 

 

So thankful for all of you.  I am off to an AA meeting.  While I am neither an alcoholic or an addict, I get so much out of being with people who are doing their best to walk towards the light of sanity!!!

 

Lisa

 

 

[[De...]]

Hoping you are all OK, think I’ve been hit with benzo flu or some sort virus. Had stomach ache all yesterday kept going to loo. Woke at 3 am with stinking head, took some pills. Now just ache all over like had flu, still got bad stomach ache. Even though sweltering almost feel bit shivery. Is this what benzo flu like. Been drinking plenty and don’t sit in the sun. So don’t think it’s that. Happy Days🤪

 

Leann so sorry you've been battling this!  Can't be entirely sure but it really sounds more like a virus.  When I have the "benzo flu" I feel like I've been hit by a truck - fatigue wise, but not all the other symptoms all at once like that.  Hope you feel better soon!!!!