12-24 months and up support group

[[Ga...]]

Oops, biggie congratulations to LadyDen on her much needed and treasured windows!!  There are more of those coming, LadyDen, you betcha.

 

Deanna, you and I are in the same recovery timeframe and we will continue to hold each other up....that’s what friends do.

 

Leann, you are a true warrior and you will get to the finish line...you really will.  I have read other success stories with strong similarities between you and other buddies who went cold turkey, and who have recovered and moved on.......so the proof is there.  I know you are totally worn out, and who can blame you.  Not your BB friends who truly care about you and will dance the jiggliest of jigs when you write your success story🙏🎉🎉😀😀😀

 

Bess, you are special to so many and always have a positive note for others when struggling yourself.  I believe you might have been on a vacation recently?  If so, I hope you had a fantastic time😍

 

And, Becks, you amaze me with your resilience and strength!  You have alot on your plate, but you manage to stay the course and give support all across the forum boards.  I hope your future holds many blessings!

 

Hugs again,

 

GG

[[La...]]

Wonderful to hear from our dear Garden. You know I’m only a month ahead of you and Deanna. I’m trying to pave the way for you guys. Lol we are on this healing train with our tickets in hand. Our destination is Recovery Town. We’re almost there .

[[le...]]

Good morning everyone! Well atleast it’s early morning here on the east coast USA. Lol I’m sorry to read that you’re struggling Leann. I agree with Deanna that it was wise to leave the zop alone. It’s the same as a benzo. All that is accomplishing is making things worse. A reinstate is a reinstate. I don’t want to sound like I’m bashing you when I say this but Leann you know that taking more pills or supplements isn’t the answer. In the past, you’ve done this a few times. Each time is a disruption of your healing and may be the reason that it’s not as good as it could be. I know you are miserable and just trying to help yourself feel better. But anytime people are going through this they must count the cost of putting things in the body with a damaged sensitive CNS. I think if you can gather all your strength and just let your brain heal without interference, you will start to feel better. I’ve read about this on the older posts. Some of the BBs just left everything alone then began to heal. Some even healed quickly. Not saying this will be the case for you but IMO I think it’s worth a shot. It certainly couldn’t hurt. But whatever you decide, sweetie, we are here for you.

 

Bess thank you so much dear! I needed those 2 days so bad. Grateful for them is putting it lightly! I wanted to do cartwheels Lol but I knew better.  I’ve been wondering how you are doing? Please give me an update. Are you getting ready for thanksgiving?

 

Deanna sorry you had a nasty wave. I hope it’s over now. It’s ok that you don’t like Xmas. It’s not for everyone. There’s a thing called winter blues that some people get. I looked into getting a light box. I think I’m going to order one. I know my Vit D is low. I’ve always loved Xmas. I did have fond memories of it growing up and as an adult. This thanksgiving and Xmas will be a little rough on me because I’m alone. I’ve always spent them with my husband ( my ex husband now). We used to have big family all together but now everyone is so split apart doing their own thing. I just have to get used to the newness of it. I still plan on making it be the best it can under the circumstances. I’m going to think of something fun and new to do as a tradition to help with the awkwardness of it. I really love the decorations and music of the season. I’m sorry to hear that yours wasn’t very good growing up. If you were anywhere near me, I’d invite you over and we’d have a blast! Matter of fact, I’d invite all of you.

 

Garden I haven’t seen you lately. I hope you’re ok. Please let me know how you are. Sending you hugs sweetie.

 

Becks did you get some sleep last night and was warm? Did you buy a heater? Wishing you a better day today. Nice and cozy warm.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yep I know zop was a mistake, just when doing nothing doesn't work you get desperate. I know you all warned me. Glad you are doing better, if I would just get a window would have a bit of hope. Really think I am crazy some days😖😱🇬🇧

[[De...]]

Yes Leann it is indeed so hard....I think I do best to pass the time when I'm distracted.  When my daughter was here I wasn't feeling all that well but she inspired me to get out and about...maybe I overdid it a bit but I felt crappy anyway why waste the time she made for her visit.  Each day is a day closer.

 

Yes I do know a few ppl who are just not that into Xmas....I try not to beat myself up about.  In January when all is over and the Spring catalogs come out I love the clean organizing articles and I get myself ready for Spring.  Gardening is life!!!

[[le...]]

We're on our own Christmas Day so not bothering with turkey. Son & wife coming Boxing Day so I got turkey crown we'll have then. I can understand people with grandchildren liking it but non event fir us.

Went to flower arranging this afternoon, it is good mixing with people. But just makes me realise how much I am missing out on life, they are out and about going to places, planning things. Whereas I can't do anything. Had cruise booked for next year just cancelled as no idea how much longer I'll be like this. Sorry I'm misery today☹️

[[Be...]]

Thanks, gg, for your support.  My life's over.

[[La...]]

It’s ok Garden today is not your day but tomorrow might be. That’s how this goes unfortunately. But you know we are here for each other. I’m sorry you cancelled your cruise. But I think it’s wise until you know you can be well enough to enjoy it. I’m not planning anything until I know for sure that I’m healed enough. But WHEN I am well, wow my list is so long. I’ll probably never be at home lol

Wow saying that sounds so foreign. 

 

Deanna I love the spring too but it doesn’t love me. The pollen nearly kills me every year especially since I’ve moved here on the east coast. My daughter is the same way…swollen eyes, itchy throat, watery nose, sinus pain and constantly sneezing. What a hot mess!  But I love the beautiful buds/ flowers and all the pretty shades of green. Butterflies birds playing etc. My focus this Xmas is to focus on peace, calm and healing. Xmas is definitely not what it used to be. Seems every year it’s less festive. I miss the way it used to be.

 

Becks you’re so sweet. I hope you find joy today. Relax and keep warm. I wish I could invite you over for thanksgiving. I know it’s tough being alone. Are you getting another kitten?

 

Leann it’s ok. Lesson learned  I’m not giving up hope for you and don’t you dare give up either. There’s plenty of people that were farther out than you that healed. Get your positive wheels turning and claim yourself as one.  Sending you love and big hugs.

 

I’m still doing ok. Not in a window per se anymore. But I need to figure out how to get outside for a little sunlight. I know my Vit D is low. Anyway I’m rocking on this boat today. I’m trying to get these nasty pirates to walk the plank. They’re stubborn little crap heads!  🌊🗡🤪

[[le...]]

Just wanted to share this. I had made an official complaint to NHS England about the GP who forced me to go Cold Turkey who told me as I was on low dose was just placebo effect, just stopping it would be no problem!!! As I'm convinced had I been able to taper would of recovered by now. Amazingly they are going to investigat, probably won't admit she was wrong, but finally feel someone is listening !!!

[[De...]]

That's something for sure Leann, I'm sure that Doc will think twice next time and you may have very well saved someone else from this misery. 

 

LadyD I'm sorry you are in transition, and that your new marital status is yet another adjustment for you.  That must be tough for sure, but you have such a positive attitude.  You should be proud of yourself in how you handle these things.  I agree you should focus on peace and healing. 

 

Still pretty symptomatic here - just going with it for now.  What else can we do?

[[Be...]]

I'll never have another cat ever.  I can't even take care of myself very well anymore.  I can barely walk and my brain functioning is very low.

[[La...]]

Deanna I’m still having waves too. I’m in a bad one right now this morning. This sucks! I normally have one bad one every week. Does this happen to you too? Two days and I’ll be 17 months. Still having symptoms that seem to be at a standstill. Doing the best I can is all we can do. Gotta go this wave is so rough.

Ok Beck I don’t blame you!

Garden that’s great and I hope they do the right thing.

Love yall

[[De...]]

osh I'm sorry LadyD - I hope you pull out of that wave soon!! 

17 months already wow!!  Soon we'll be in the 20's!  Yikes.

[[La...]]

I can’t wait! Yes we will. Hopefully our 20 will be our healed month 

I wonder why my ticker says 16 month and 4 weeks  wouldnt that be 17 months?

[[le...]]

Oops, biggie congratulations to LadyDen on her much needed and treasured windows!!  There are more of those coming, LadyDen, you betcha.

 

Deanna, you and I are in the same recovery timeframe and we will continue to hold each other up....that’s what friends do.

 

Leann, you are a true warrior and you will get to the finish line...you really will.  I have read other success stories with strong similarities between you and other buddies who went cold turkey, and who have recovered and moved on.......so the proof is there.  I know you are totally worn out, and who can blame you.  Not your BB friends who truly care about you and will dance the jiggliest of jigs when you write your success story🙏🎉🎉😀😀😀

 

Bess, you are special to so many and always have a positive note for others when struggling yourself.  I believe you might have been on a vacation recently?  If so, I hope you had a fantastic time😍

 

And, Becks, you amaze me with your resilience and strength!  You have alot on your plate, but you manage to stay the course and give support all across the forum boards.  I hope your future holds many blessings!

 

Hugs again,

 

GG

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hi GG, I've not found anyone who CT'd and still as bad without improvement for this long that actually recovered.  If you see anyone please post their names?  feels like acute again. Don't feel like a warrior at all more like a piece of washed up driftwood left on the beach to rot. Sorry in a dark place at moment😩

 

[[La...]]

Awwwww Leann  :hug: Hang in there love ❤️

[[Be...]]

Hey Leann, sorry you are struggling. Yep

I’ve seen tons of people who are still going through symptoms after cold turkey-ing. Gardenia is one.  Please hang in there. You can do this.  I haven’t been on here much - did you reinstate & didn’t feel great? Give yourself time & be kind & patient with yourself xx

[[Be...]]

Deanna I’m still having waves too. I’m in a bad one right now this morning. This sucks! I normally have one bad one every week. Does this happen to you too? Two days and I’ll be 17 months. Still having symptoms that seem to be at a standstill. Doing the best I can is all we can do. Gotta go this wave is so rough.

Ok Beck I don’t blame you!

Garden that’s great and I hope they do the right thing.

Love yall

 

LadyD!

 

Sorry to read you’re in a wave - be gone beastly wave I say.  You are a shining light for so

Many of us.  I hope you are being kind to your lovely self through all

Of this - you got this girl. 

 

I’m in australia so sadly we don’t have thanksgiving here - I miss it from when I used to live in North America - especially pumpkin pie - yummmmmmm! I went on holuday for two weeks.  It was horrific. Not because of BWD but a ton of stressful stuff happened & then bang I was in a wave.  I came home early.  Now seeking solace under my duvet watching Anthony Bourdain on parts unknown. Does wonders for lack of appetite.  Two weeks in a wave but still Swimmimg. I’m just working & coming home & sleeping.  I’ll get there.  Coming up to 22 months. Clinging on at the moment but still here.  Hugs to you xxx

[[Be...]]

Oops, biggie congratulations to LadyDen on her much needed and treasured windows!!  There are more of those coming, LadyDen, you betcha.

 

Deanna, you and I are in the same recovery timeframe and we will continue to hold each other up....that’s what friends do.

 

Leann, you are a true warrior and you will get to the finish line...you really will.  I have read other success stories with strong similarities between you and other buddies who went cold turkey, and who have recovered and moved on.......so the proof is there.  I know you are totally worn out, and who can blame you.  Not your BB friends who truly care about you and will dance the jiggliest of jigs when you write your success story🙏🎉🎉😀😀😀

 

Bess, you are special to so many and always have a positive note for others when struggling yourself.  I believe you might have been on a vacation recently?  If so, I hope you had a fantastic time😍

 

And, Becks, you amaze me with your resilience and strength!  You have alot on your plate, but you manage to stay the course and give support all across the forum boards.  I hope your future holds many blessings!

 

Hugs again,

 

GG

 

GG!

 

Ohhhh that’s lovely if you to say - thanks lovely - right back at you. Yep I went on vacation. It was disastrous - not because of BWD but a ton of stressful stuff happened. Then the brutal wave came.  I came home early. Still riding the wave.  Oh well. It will pass.  At 22 months I’m still hanging in there. 

 

How are you going lovely? Hope you’re being good &

Kind to your lovely self.

 

Big hugs to you xxx

[[La...]]

I am SO strong to have made this choice. It is hard. But I am strong. And I am going to LIVE through this to see the other side. I know whyI made this choice. I made this choice because I know what I felt were the effects of a drug. What I am feeling now are the effects of the drug leaving my body - and of my body regenerating a healthy, happy nervous system - one in complete balance.

 

My nervous system knows EXACTLY how to regenerate. It feels weirder than anything I could ever imagine or explain, and that part is hard, but I know that what is going on is NORMAL for this experience.  It is documented in literature the Ashton Manual, in books like Bliss John's "Benzo Wise", in success stories all over the Internet, and in medical journal articles. The fact that I do not have a doctor or professional to talk to about it does not make a difference, and it does not change the biology of the recovery that is occurnig even as I type this. Nobody's opinion of what I am going through can change recovery for me. Recovery is an obligation of the body. Nobody can stop a scab from forming on a wound with words of disbelief. Nobody can stop my nervous system from healing itself. Others have walked this path and reassure me that in time, this happens - no matter what. That is a good feeling.  I know it is true for me, too.

 

I won't always feel the way I do right now. It is hard to accept that I might feel better because I dont' feel like mysef. And while it is difficult to be awake and observe these changes, I can let them wash over me, knowing with my rationa mind that this is simply a nervous system at work. The sadness I feel is okay. The anger I feel is okay.  The anxiety I feel cannot hurt me. These are only feelings. And they will pass. It is a hard process. But I will not always feel this way, even throughout my recovery. I can point to days and times that were SO much better. I know today will pass. Things will change again and again before I am 100% healed. But by this time next year, I will not the way I do now. I will feel better than this. There will be good times along this journey. And I will hold fast to the truth that healing is happening even as I say these things. I affirm that my healing is occuring.

 

I know that my job is simply to hold on and let time pass I can observe these things happening and simply let them wash over me. I can be an observer to them and know that they are normal. If they were not normal, they would not appear in the literature. But they do.  Therefore, I am right on track with the healing process, and I am normal for this experience. It is okay. I am healing. And there is an end to ths. I look forward to that, but in the meantim, I know my healing is right on track. Even if I cannot see or feel it yet today, my brain is very active in re-establishing itself and coming to balance. I am to be congratulated for how strong I am.  I know who I am and why I made this choice. And I am proud of myself for making it. In a short time, I will be seeing and feeling the outcome that I deserve. I am smart. I am strong. And I am being loved and cradled through to the end of this process. I am healing and knowing this is enough to make it through today.

 

One day at a time, I will improve and improve and find myself fully healed. I know it is happening, and I let the healing wash over me.

 

 

:)Parker

 

 

Hey lovely buddies  I just wanted to share this with you all in hopes that it helps bring you some peace today. Love to you all ❤️

[[La...]]

Deanna I’m still having waves too. I’m in a bad one right now this morning. This sucks! I normally have one bad one every week. Does this happen to you too? Two days and I’ll be 17 months. Still having symptoms that seem to be at a standstill. Doing the best I can is all we can do. Gotta go this wave is so rough.

Ok Beck I don’t blame you!

Garden that’s great and I hope they do the right thing.

Love yall

 

LadyD!

 

Sorry to read you’re in a wave - be gone beastly wave I say.  You are a shining light for so

Many of us.  I hope you are being kind to your lovely self through all

Of this - you got this girl. 

 

I’m in australia so sadly we don’t have thanksgiving here - I miss it from when I used to live in North America - especially pumpkin pie - yummmmmmm! I went on holuday for two weeks.  It was horrific. Not because of BWD but a ton of stressful stuff happened & then bang I was in a wave.  I came home early.  Now seeking solace under my duvet watching Anthony Bourdain on parts unknown. Does wonders for lack of appetite.  Two weeks in a wave but still Swimmimg. I’m just working & coming home & sleeping.  I’ll get there.  Coming up to 22 months. Clinging on at the moment but still here.  Hugs to you xxx

Yep that show is a trip. I used to watch it but couldn’t anymore. Lol I’m proud you attempted a holiday. It’s ok that you had to come back early. You gotta do what you gotta do to take care of you. That’s totally ok.

Yes pumpkin and sweet potato pies are so yummy. After eating some all you can do is lay around like a fat rat lol yes you will get there, I will get there, we all will if we just hold on. You’re so right sweetie Bess. Wow 22 months is awesome! You go girl.  I think any day now, you’ll be healed. I can’t wait to see your success story and mine. Thank you for your support and love. And hey, while you’re in bed resting then you might as well enjoy what you can. Right now I’m watching Versailles on Netflix. Pretty good

Super hugs to you Aussie lovely lady

[[Be...]]

Deanna I’m still having waves too. I’m in a bad one right now this morning. This sucks! I normally have one bad one every week. Does this happen to you too? Two days and I’ll be 17 months. Still having symptoms that seem to be at a standstill. Doing the best I can is all we can do. Gotta go this wave is so rough.

Ok Beck I don’t blame you!

Garden that’s great and I hope they do the right thing.

Love yall

 

LadyD!

 

Sorry to read you’re in a wave - be gone beastly wave I say.  You are a shining light for so

Many of us.  I hope you are being kind to your lovely self through all

Of this - you got this girl. 

 

I’m in australia so sadly we don’t have thanksgiving here - I miss it from when I used to live in North America - especially pumpkin pie - yummmmmmm! I went on holuday for two weeks.  It was horrific. Not because of BWD but a ton of stressful stuff happened & then bang I was in a wave.  I came home early.  Now seeking solace under my duvet watching Anthony Bourdain on parts unknown. Does wonders for lack of appetite.  Two weeks in a wave but still Swimmimg. I’m just working & coming home & sleeping.  I’ll get there.  Coming up to 22 months. Clinging on at the moment but still here.  Hugs to you xxx

Yep that show is a trip. I used to watch it but couldn’t anymore. Lol I’m proud you attempted a holiday. It’s ok that you had to come back early. You gotta do what you gotta do to take care of you. That’s totally ok.

Yes pumpkin and sweet potato pies are so yummy. After eating some all you can do is lay around like a fat rat lol yes you will get there, I will get there, we all will if we just hold on. You’re so right sweetie Bess. Wow 22 months is awesome! You go girl.  I think any day now, you’ll be healed. I can’t wait to see your success story and mine. Thank you for your support and love. And hey, while you’re in bed resting then you might as well enjoy what you can. Right now I’m watching Versailles on Netflix. Pretty good

Super hugs to you Aussie lovely lady

 

Ohhhh thanks lovely LadyD - so kind of you - thank

You. A fat rat - hehe I love this description.

 

How are you going? Today I woke up on the planet called “horrendous ghastly disgustingly awful wave” there was no surfing the beast.  I spent the day feeling like my ear was going to explode whilst my spine was being drilled down into the depths of a volcano & being spun around in an emotional hell.  I made the colossal mistake of calling an organisation that supposedly specialises in BWD & waa told that it’s highly unlikely & unusal that what I’m experiencing is BWD. I then told them they should be very careful saying this to people in BWD due to SI, I was then put through to a supervisor & told rather firmly that my doctors were dead wrong about it being BWD. This was just anxiety.  At this point I hung up.  Somehow I got through the day with a lot of tears/rage/frustration/pain/sadness/despair.  I went to my doctor & cried more tears I thought I ever had inside of me & then crumbled when she gave me a hug.  I walked out of the doctors surgery With my sunglasses on.  I came home: my vacuum cleaner is stuffed, there is no hot water (again) but I’m back on planet earth - hallelujah - my ear still feels like it’s full of lava & about to explode. But I forced avocado & fish down my throat, fed my dog & now plastered to the mattress in bed.  Tomorrow is another day right:  I’m listening to Ray Lamontagne’s album “Trouble”. Oh please dear lord let this be the end of this beastly WD. I’m going to do something frightfully frivolous tomorrow - going to see a psychic. She’s supposed to be amazing. All I wanna know is how much longer am I planted in this BWD pitiful hell & if I’ll ever really heal.

 

Hope you’re all doing ok & having a better day xx

[[La...]]

Bess today I woke up on that planet you mentioned. Ohhhh my my my goodness. As well as feeling a bit down about being like this for soooooo long and going through a divorce to top it off. It hasn’t bothered me much but today it is! Sweet Bess your description of your doctor visit and phone call was sad. But unfortunately not a surprise. If it was up to me, I’d make them all tolerant to the meds they prescribe to others and let them ALL see for themselves. But that would happen only in a perfect world. The fact that there’s billions being made off these drugs in itself speaks volumes. An admittance of long term damage would hurt those pockets way too much. It would cause doctors and pharmaceuticals to take responsibility.

As far as your frightingly frivolous psychic session, there’s no way he or she can tell you exactly when you will be healed. If they say 3-5 more years and it causes you a breakdown….be careful with what they tell you. My suggestion is to take it with a grain of salt. You don’t know for sure if they’re a fake or what. Only God himself knows that answer to your question. Almost all so called psychics are for entertainment purposes. If you pay close attention when they give you “ predictions “ for the most part, you could predict what they said yourself. It’s always so generic and can apply to anyone. For example, they say oh I see you’ve lost someone very close to you and you miss them. LOL really!!?? Who hasn’t? They say it’s a female or male. Well really!!?? It can’t be but one or the other anyway. And we ALL have lost male and female loved ones. Then they say yes they’re around you all the time. Really!!?? Anyone who knows how spirit works knows that all spirits are eternal. They don’t go anywhere but only have taken off their physical body. They say, you haven’t been well or you’re having much stress or you will meet someone special soon, etc. EVERYONE applies to that stuff too. Well anyway, you get my point. I hope you didn’t mind my insight. I’d like to know what he or she told you. If you don’t mind sharing it. I’m not saying that all are fakes. But there are very very very few that have that gift. The odds of one of them being near you is slim to none. But, it’s your money, your choice and your life. I’m not judging you.

[[De...]]

Oh LadyD I am so sorry you are going through the big "D"! That is one of the most stressful things anyone could go through - there is no doubt this is impacting your WD...I can only say be good to yourself and I hope things are amicable and smooth.

 

 

[[Be...]]

I called a psychic one time on the phone and the man was completely right when he predicted my future.

[[La...]]

Morning to everyone.

Deanna yes it’s not easy going through the big “D”. We are mostly amicable but honestly I’m being way too nice at times. But when there’s a kid involved it’s best to be. It’s hard enough on the kids already even without the arguing. What makes it more difficult is when having the added bonus of a side chick to deal with. But I’m doing all I can to hold it together.

 

Becks I’m sure the psychic did predict your future because it’s not hard to do. Some are actually trained. Some just do it on their own. They use basic general information that can be applied to everyone. If you notice on the bottom of a psychic commercial it says “ for entertainment purposes only. Not responsible for xyz….” But, everyone has a right to believe what they want. But as for me, if I want to know anything I just ask God who would really know because he made all things and not somebody who has a guess or some “ feeling”. I’ve seen them tell one person after another the SAME reading.    But as I said earlier, there ARE very few that has been given the gift of a deeper insight.

 

So I think I did pretty well yesterday walking around a bit more. My son, his wife and their two kids finally came to visit. I thought by it being late evening that it would be too much but it wasn’t at all. I enjoyed them.