12-24 months and up support group

[[le...]]

Might drop off radar for a bit, feel worse than ever today. Think maybe I’m one of those destined not to recover. The success stories all seem to be recovered somewhat by this stage, think CT dramatically increases recovery time. All this stuff about Queen making me feel totally crazy. Sorry be a misery, wish I could be more hopeful like most you, after 45 months can’t keep fighting this anymore, keep faking being normal in front people xxx

[[La...]]

Hello to all,

 

LadyDen,

I'm so sorry to hear you're getting your butt kicked too. But you're right we're all in this together, hoping to turn a corner at any minute. It just gets so difficult to hang on. Let's hope we both turn a corner extremely soon.  Or at least get a bit of a break from all these intense symptoms.

 

Sending warm love and healing hugs to all,

 

LiveLife

Warm hugs to you Live. Are you haven’t any breaks at all? Even small ones? And yes that corner for us to turn is very close. Together we hold on! Thank you for being such a lovely support. I’m here in this with you. I pray today you get some relief and enjoy something fun.

❤️🙏🤗🌹

[[La...]]

Ok Leann. Take a break from the forum if you need to. As far as the Queen stuff maybe you can just simply don’t watch it on tv?

As far as your healing, it’s up to you if you don’t want to believe in it. But just a little reminder that you are not 45 months off of everything. So long with your CT you also had another more recent WD that’s still healing. So I’m not surprised that you’re not quite there yet. However long it takes shouldn’t be compared to other people’s journey because they’re not you, different medication, different dosage, different circumstances, different age, gender, etc. That’s why it’s not a good idea to compare ourselves. Also you have to take into account that you tried other things along the way while recovering. I’m not saying any of this to make you feel bad but my purpose is to get you to see a different way of looking at your timeframe with ALL of the occurrences factored in. With the hope that it will help you not feel so down about it being 45 months. Only ONE of your meds was 45 months ago. 

I hope you do heal more in the upcoming months so you can go take your cruise. After all you’ve been through you deserve it. I’ll be cheering you on when you go. While you’re taking your break from here please continue to do things you enjoy and get out of the house every few days. Don’t give up! Big hugs to you 🤗🌹

[[de...]]

Leeann:

 

Good afternoon to you!  I know you are taking a break from the forum, but I just wanted to reach out to you.  You are healing and you will heal completely.  You are 45 months from your cold turkey and you are healed from that.  What you are not healed from is the AD that you were on and got off of in June 2020.  That has only been 27 months; a little over two years.    That should encourage you to know you are very much within the normal time frame of healing.  I have been told that it takes three years to completely heal.  Today marks my 30th month off Ambien and alcohol.  I am not where I would like to be at this point, but I know I will get there eventually.  This is a very long, hard journey.  I know it is so hard when you have a couple of good days and then are thrown back into intense symptoms.    Unfortunately, that is how the healing works.    Two steps forward, three steps back.  Eventually you get to where you are not going to be taking the huge steps backwards.  I do believe your baseline is better than it was a year ago.  Getting intense symptoms does not mean you are never going to heal; quite the opposite is true.  It means your body is healing and trying to get back to homeostasis.  It is actually a very good sign!    So telling yourself that you are never going to heal flies in the face of what is actually happening with your body.  You are healing, it just doesn't "feel" that way.  Some times we have to stop going by our feelings and believe what thousands of people have experienced before us.    Complete healing!  I hope this helps.  I know how extremely difficult this is and it is so SLOW.  You will get there!  You will heal. 

[[de...]]

Happy Thursday to all my Buddies!  Hope y'all are having a decent day today.

 

Just wanted to make a post to "celebrate" my 30th month today!!!!  It has been quite the journey.    Not a whole lot to report from my end, but I do still feel as if I am coming out of this 3 month long wave.  It has been brutal, but necessary.  I feel as if my baseline is going to be much better once the wave completely calms down.  I know several of us (LiveLife, LadyDen, Leeann, GG and others) are going through a tough spot right now as well.  Let's keep encouraging each other to stay the course.  This will eventually be in our rearview mirror, and I for one, cannot wait.  I cannot wait to sleep well through the night, I cannot wait to not have any GI issues, I cannot wait for the anxiety to be completely gone.    As far as my progress overall, I definitely feel better now than I did this time last year.  Currently I am at the beach, 7 hours away from home.    I have not been able to  travel for the last year, so I see this as a step in the right direction!  Yea!!    I don't expect to wake up one day and be completely well.  I know Neighbor Bob said that was his experience, but I think that is rare.    I believe my symptoms will just slowly fade into the background over the next months.  I do believe that by three years, or soon thereafter, I will be much better.  In the meantime, I am trying to maintain as much of a "normal" life as possible.  Some days I am able to do that, and some days I am not, and that is okay! 

 

I am so grateful for all of you!  This forum has been an absolutely God-send. 

 

Lisa

[[De...]]

Dear Leann, Just wanted to chime in and support what LadyD and decatur said!  They are right to remind you/us that you are right in the same timeframe as many of us, a little over two years.  If you need a break, sure that's great.  Go for it.  It's good to switch up our routine from time to time.  If the media coverage of the Queen is too much, you have control over that.  Just find a new routine for a while.  That in itself is making new neural pathways. It contributes to healing.

 

Just know we care and are thinking about you.  And we'll be here for you 

 

 

[[le...]]

Thanks guys, I get what you are saying, but still had horrible  mental symptoms for the whole 45 months, think what I find so hard is a GP forcing me to go CT is the reason I’m taking so long to recover, everyone warns you CT will cause severe and prolonged withdrawal. Just so hard☹️

[[De...]]

Thanks guys, I get what you are saying, but still had horrible  mental symptoms for the whole 45 months, think what I find so hard is a GP forcing me to go CT is the reason I’m taking so long to recover, everyone warns you CT will cause severe and prolonged withdrawal. Just so hard☹️

 

It certainly is hard indeed!  I had horrendous sciatic pain for 2 years before I had a clue what was causing the problem.  So it's been over 4 years of suffering for me too.  I could have earned another college degree, and in a way I have!  I feel completely enlightened now about the ludicrous "health"care system.  We make our own good health with education and good choices.

[[de...]]

Leeann:  We are with you!!  This is so, so hard, and 45 months is a long time to suffer with few windows!    As far as healing goes however, you are right where the rest of us are......between two and three years off your last drug.    So you were poly-drugged and CT'd!  Some say that makes your withdrawal harder and longer.  Until there is science to back that that up, it is based on anecdotal evidence.    I think it depends on a lot of factors.  Most of what we are reading is someone's opinion, not medical science.  There just hasn't been enough research done yet.    You will continue to have good days and bad days until you are fully healed.  Can you look back over the last couple of months and see any kind of pattern to your "good" and bad days?  Usually this far into your healing there is a definite pattern.  For example I have about three decent days a week; usually start feeling bad again on Thursday and that lasts until Sunday.  Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday are not as intense.  Knowing this pattern has helped me understand a little bit about how my body is healing.  I think one of the hardest things about this whole process is the non-linear nature.  On the bad days try to talk to yourself with reassuring thoughts.  Talk to yourself with the things that you know are true. 

[[Li...]]

Hello to all,

 

LadyDen,

Yes I have been getting little breaks from all the intense fear. Especially in the evenings it can settle down but then when it's time to go to bed it can come raging back and that's really wearing on me. But I am trying to stay positive because I do get these breaks from it all.  But some days it just goes off the charts and makes it difficult to endure. The other symptoms are still pretty much there. So I call it a partial window or a porthole. But I do think that's a good sign. And you and I are in this together along with all our other buddies. We are going to get through this, hopefully sooner rather than later. We will be doing our happy dance when our station tunes in.

 

Lisa,

Congratulations on your 30 months. That is wonderful I'm sure that things are going to really speed up now.  Being between 2 and a 1/2 to 3 years people see good results, and you'll be better than ever before you know it.

 

Sending warm love and healing hugs to all,

 

LiveLife

[[He...]]

Decatur,

 

I hope the next 30 months of your life are MUCH nicer.  You've been putting in the work and educating yourself and just plain doing your best.  Congrats on making it this far.  I wish you  many future days of peace in your body and mind!

 

Enjoy the beach!

 

 

Helen

 

[[He...]]

I'm just dropping by to wish everyone well today.  I'm sorry for the hard times people are going through.  In terms of time since jumping, I'm probably the junior in this group at 15 1/2 months.  I'm in a pretty nasty wave currently and doing what I can to keep it tamped down.  I believe it's a smackdown coming from the uber bad cold virus I had last week.  I guess my CNS wants to readjust after that.  I've got the burning, tingling, aching, fatigue, tight chest, loud tinnitus, slightly queasy package this go around.  I know you all get it....  another day, another wave.  I'm hanging in there on my screen porch with my cat.  The weather is perfect so I'm grateful for that.

 

Best thoughts to all of you,

Helen

[[le...]]

Leeann:  We are with you!!  This is so, so hard, and 45 months is a long time to suffer with few windows!    As far as healing goes however, you are right where the rest of us are......between two and three years off your last drug.    So you were poly-drugged and CT'd!  Some say that makes your withdrawal harder and longer.  Until there is science to back that that up, it is based on anecdotal evidence.    I think it depends on a lot of factors.  Most of what we are reading is someone's opinion, not medical science.  There just hasn't been enough research done yet.    You will continue to have good days and bad days until you are fully healed.  Can you look back over the last couple of months and see any kind of pattern to your "good" and bad days?  Usually this far into your healing there is a definite pattern.  For example I have about three decent days a week; usually start feeling bad again on Thursday and that lasts until Sunday.  Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday are not as intense.  Knowing this pattern has helped me understand a little bit about how my body is healing.  I think one of the hardest things about this whole process is the non-linear nature.  On the bad days try to talk to yourself with reassuring thoughts.  Talk to yourself with the things that you know are true.

 

 

 

Up to about 5 weeks ago never got any windows, just basically same intrusive thoughts and anxiety with meltdowns every so often, ,, very limited to what I could do. Think I actually coped better latter part last year,which worries me. No pattern I occasionally get day when I cope better. But never any get day without anxiety. I actually felt better latter part last yearr which really worries me. All the therapists and every  benzo  advice publication states going CT is  worst thing you can do. An advice centre here said I was luck I didn’t have a seizure. Nice which is the advisory board for the NHS specifically states you should never CT. So seem reasonable it will prolong recovery. Stress does make things worse, be glad when Monday  over and done with, and hopefully things go back to normal over here. Plus what my Mother did to me last year totally destroyed me for a while. Do you think this is just a wave. As have consistently felt pretty bad most time with meltdown days every so often, no prolonged good periods, not really sure what window & waves like? Almost felt like suddenly been plugged into mains after couple OK ish days couple weeks ago, heightened nervous system?Really appreciate everyone’s support, just not sure how much longer I can go on with so little improvement😢

[[La...]]

Happy Thursday to all my Buddies!  Hope y'all are having a decent day today.

 

Just wanted to make a post to "celebrate" my 30th month today!!!!  It has been quite the journey.    Not a whole lot to report from my end, but I do still feel as if I am coming out of this 3 month long wave.  It has been brutal, but necessary.  I feel as if my baseline is going to be much better once the wave completely calms down.  I know several of us (LiveLife, LadyDen, Leeann, GG and others) are going through a tough spot right now as well.  Let's keep encouraging each other to stay the course.  This will eventually be in our rearview mirror, and I for one, cannot wait.  I cannot wait to sleep well through the night, I cannot wait to not have any GI issues, I cannot wait for the anxiety to be completely gone.    As far as my progress overall, I definitely feel better now than I did this time last year.  Currently I am at the beach, 7 hours away from home.    I have not been able to  travel for the last year, so I see this as a step in the right direction!  Yea!!    I don't expect to wake up one day and be completely well.  I know Neighbor Bob said that was his experience, but I think that is rare.    I believe my symptoms will just slowly fade into the background over the next months.  I do believe that by three years, or soon thereafter, I will be much better.  In the meantime, I am trying to maintain as much of a "normal" life as possible.  Some days I am able to do that, and some days I am not, and that is okay! 

 

I am so grateful for all of you!  This forum has been an absolutely God-send. 

 

Lisa

Congrats on 30 months! You’re absolutely awesome!

 

May you continue to heal nicely my dear! Well done getting to the beach after no traveling for a year! I’m so proud of you! Please say hello to the sand for me. I miss my sand art very much.  🌹🤗❤️🤝

[[La...]]

Hello to all,

 

LadyDen,

Yes I have been getting little breaks from all the intense fear. Especially in the evenings it can settle down but then when it's time to go to bed it can come raging back and that's really wearing on me. But I am trying to stay positive because I do get these breaks from it all.  But some days it just goes off the charts and makes it difficult to endure. The other symptoms are still pretty much there. So I call it a partial window or a porthole. But I do think that's a good sign. And you and I are in this together along with all our other buddies. We are going to get through this, hopefully sooner rather than later. We will be doing our happy dance when our station tunes in.

 

Lisa,

Congratulations on your 30 months. That is wonderful I'm sure that things are going to really speed up now.  Being between 2 and a 1/2 to 3 years people see good results, and you'll be better than ever before you know it.

 

Sending warm love and healing hugs to all,

 

LiveLife

Yes ma’am and I’m polishing my happy dance shoes as we speak! I want them to be shinny and ready when we turn this corner. Looks like Lisa turned her corner…now it’s Helen, your and my turn to do the same. It’s coming! I can feel it. I’m like Lisa and you in that I’ve been in this rapid waves for about 3 months since turning 2 years. In 4 days I’ll be 27 months Ambien free. As we all are saying, we are healing even if it doesn’t feel like it. I thank God!

Warm hugs 🤗

[[La...]]

I'm just dropping by to wish everyone well today.  I'm sorry for the hard times people are going through.  In terms of time since jumping, I'm probably the junior in this group at 15 1/2 months.  I'm in a pretty nasty wave currently and doing what I can to keep it tamped down.  I believe it's a smackdown coming from the uber bad cold virus I had last week.  I guess my CNS wants to readjust after that.  I've got the burning, tingling, aching, fatigue, tight chest, loud tinnitus, slightly queasy package this go around.  I know you all get it....  another day, another wave.  I'm hanging in there on my screen porch with my cat.  The weather is perfect so I'm grateful for that.

 

Best thoughts to all of you,

Helen

Sweet Helen 

 

I’m in the struggle too. I’m watching tv to distract and playing online games. Our brains are doing it’s thing. As Lisa said, that’s actually a good thing. Yes your body is reacting to the virus you had. And perhaps at the same time you’re getting the well known milestone wave that usually happens around the 16 month mark. Either way I’m sending you my love. I’m also loving this cooler weather.

[[Li...]]

Hello to all my beautiful buddies,

 

Helen,

I'm so sorry  that you're struggling right now. But I'm sure that's going to pass soon and you'll get back into a lovely window.  Right now we're all suffering together.

 

Leann,

I have read many success stories ones that have cold turkeyed and ones that have not. Honestly some of the ones that have tapered have taken longer to heal than the ones that did the cold turkey. So there really is no way of knowing. This whole process is so difficult we have to just take 1 day 1 hour 1 minute at a time. I'm suffering right along with you today. It's been like that now for me for 5 long months I'm hoping it's going to end soon. I get little Mini windows here  and there.  I'm definitely hoping for a beautiful bright sparkling window that never closes.

 

LadyDen,

Yes get those shoes polished up because I hope we're getting close. We've been going on with this for far too long. 3 months for you and 5 months for me. It has to be soon. You're getting close to 27 months and I'm getting close to 28 months. I have read that the 2 and a 1/2 year mark can be a turning point for many. Sure hope that's the case for us and even before.

 

Big hugs to all!

 

LiveLife

 

 

[[le...]]

Hope you all have a good weekend . Think you are right combination things reason why I’m not improving. Just to clarify is it normal to almost feel you’ve turned corner, to then get slammed back again, after really feeling turned corner, getting jittery about different sort stuff now.Up to last 5/6 weeks never had good days, so not sure what window & waves feels like, as I was just consistently not great, so is that window & waves, and should the good days increase? Hopefully all craziness over here will calm down after Monday. Hope you all have a calm weekend xx

[[La...]]

Hello to all my beautiful buddies,

 

Helen,

I'm so sorry  that you're struggling right now. But I'm sure that's going to pass soon and you'll get back into a lovely window.  Right now we're all suffering together.

 

Leann,

I have read many success stories ones that have cold turkeyed and ones that have not. Honestly some of the ones that have tapered have taken longer to heal than the ones that did the cold turkey. So there really is no way of knowing. This whole process is so difficult we have to just take 1 day 1 hour 1 minute at a time. I'm suffering right along with you today. It's been like that now for me for 5 long months I'm hoping it's going to end soon. I get little Mini windows here  and there.  I'm definitely hoping for a beautiful bright sparkling window that never closes.

 

LadyDen,

Yes get those shoes polished up because I hope we're getting close. We've been going on with this for far too long. 3 months for you and 5 months for me. It has to be soon. You're getting close to 27 months and I'm getting close to 28 months. I have read that the 2 and a 1/2 year mark can be a turning point for many. Sure hope that's the case for us and even before.

 

Big hugs to all!

 

LiveLife

Yes I heard the same thing about the 2 and half year turning point…..

I’m sooooooooo ready! Bring it on! Right? We’ve had enough of this certified crap show. Come on girl, let’s turn some corners 

[[La...]]

Hope you all have a good weekend . Think you are right combination things reason why I’m not improving. Just to clarify is it normal to almost feel you’ve turned corner, to then get slammed back again, after really feeling turned corner, getting jittery about different sort stuff now.Up to last 5/6 weeks never had good days, so not sure what window & waves feels like, as I was just consistently not great, so is that window & waves, and should the good days increase? Hopefully all craziness over here will calm down after Monday. Hope you all have a calm weekend xx

Thank you Leann. Windows are simply just a relief of your symptoms/ waves. The window can range from a mild let up to feeling nearly 100%. They can last minutes, hours, days or weeks. When they end it’s usually with a slam of a wave. Repeated process until completely healed. Some windows are so mild that people may not realize they’ve had one. I know for me personally I’ve had windows of various symptoms while a wave of another symptom kicked up. I think this is what’s called rapid cycling. How many windows, how good a window is or how long it lasted doesn’t mean you’re not healing anymore. Also I’ve noticed that many BBs go through a period of a standstill in their journey. I actually think I’m in a standstill right now because I’m in a 3 month slam. I’m pretty sure this is probably an illusion that I haven’t improved any more since turning 2 years. Matter of fact I know it’s a lie because when I get a window now, some of them are the best I’ve had so far although they’re short lived. They’re lovely reminders of what’s happening in the background. So I chose to see my windows as a precursor to my new healed life that’s IN THE MAKING 

 

All is not lost with you. Think about it…would you have had a window at all if you were not still healing? Those many weeks of feeling improved? What do you think the reason for those weeks was? How did they magically just happen? It MUST have been the brain getting it right 

In this journey it’s important to take a step back and look at the facts without emotional involvement. For example, if you are in a race to walk one mile and you made it 3/4 of the way with everyone else has finished or a little ahead of you. At that point you have two choices: 1. Congratulate yourself for how far you’ve come and keep going with positive attitude even if you are the last one to come in. Because you are determined to finish because you CAN do it! OR 2. You can stop and stand there with a defeatist attitude with constant complaining about the 3/4 of the way. Focusing on the other’s that they’re finished. Telling yourself negative things. Making excuses, etc. If you think about it, the second choice is a waste of time because it won’t change the fact that you still have a ways to go. Perhaps if one hadn’t just stood there in defeat or tried to get to the finish in a different way, they’d be finished.

I recall an incident with a father and his lazy excuse making son. This teenage boy had a severe habit of making excuses for everything when it came to responsibilities. The garbage man comes every Friday evening around 6pm. The boy had that ONE chore to do every Friday. Nearly every week he misses the trash pickup and makes an excuse. This one weekend his dad realized he’s had enough! So sure enough the boy at 5:45pm had not put the trash can on the curb for pickup. The dad didn’t say anything to him this time, he just passed by his room seeing him playing video games. The boy looked up to see his dad, paused his game and started making a million excuses for 30 minutes! When he finished his discourse his dad looked at him firmly and said…None of what you said is valid! Instead of standing here busy with all the excuses, you could have made the trash pickup easily but you wasted time! So usually I put the trash on the back of my truck and take it to the dump but not this time! I don’t care if you have to put it on your skateboard YOU are going to take that trash to dump it! Right now! Now, I suggest you hurry up because maybe the garbage truck hasn’t left our neighborhood. Luckily they were on the next street over. The boy rolled the trash can behind his yard and through the neighbors yard to catch them. His classmates saw him. He ruined his new shirt that he finally got after so long and smelled like garbage. Guess what? That boy NEVER missed that trash pick up again! He set his alarm for an hour before pickup to make sure it was on the curb. At the end of the day, he was being his own worst enemy with all those excuses making his own life so much harder.

I’m not saying that you are doing this Leann but every now and then when I look at something I’m struggling with I can see my fault in it. Sometimes it isn’t my fault. Sometimes I just can’t do certain things right then but later I can. But I don’t lie in defeat. I try again and again when I can. And I don’t allow any excuses unless they are reasonable. For example, with my going for walks. If I’m not feeling very unbalanced I go for a walk. It will dawn on me to walk a bit more and I catch myself making an excuse not to do it. “ I’ll do it later. My show is on. I’m tired. I might get a big wave. I’ll do it next time, etc”  Right then I challenge those excuses to see if they’re reasonable. If not, I walk more while I can because later or tomorrow I might be in a bad wave. And wasted this opportunity.

I’m aware that it is difficult for some people to be positive. I’m also aware that some people make a habit out of being negative. I’ve seen people that are not comfortable when all is well in their world. They’ve always got to have some kind of drama going on. I have a few relatives like that….wow I hate to see them pop up on my phone!

I think that you are still healing. You are not doomed. It might take you a bit longer but you can get there. Please do your best to stay positive and engage in positive things. Start with small things around you…like admiring how pretty flowers look and voicing that out loud. Congratulate yourself and accomplishments. You’ve come a long way Leann. All of us can see the difference from last year. Claim your victories! Start a gratitude journal. Put Moaning Minnie in her place! Posts things that you’re grateful for. I’d love to hear about your classes you attend and your flowers around your house, where you want to go visit, etc.

Hope you have a lovely day today. I know all the funeral stuff is annoying so just ignore it! Do you still crochet?

 

[[Li...]]

LadyDen,

Yes bring it on! I am more ready than ever to stop all this intense suffering. Hopefully we're both getting very close. Today is another one of those barely hanging on days.. It's unbelievable how they keep on coming. Hugs!

 

LiveLife

[[de...]]

Hey everyone!!  Thinking about my benzo buddies today.    My weekends usually are not very good, but this one has not been too bad.  I did manage to go to the beach for a few nights and then spent one night in Tuscaloosa (where my youngest is in college) for Parent's Weekend.  I have not been away from home that many nights (4) for the past 2 1/2 years.  A sure sign that I am healing; not that I am there yet, but I do believe things are shifting a bit!

 

LiveLife:  I just have to believe you are going to get a break soon.  I know I keep saying that, and I believe it!!  I am so sorry you are suffering so much right now.  You are in my prayers.

 

Leeann:  Where are you?    Hopefully you have turned your t.v. off and are enjoying some time outside.    I know this journey has worn you out and you don't think you have much steam left, but I am here to tell you that you can do this.    One day at a time.  I agree with LadyDen's remarks from yesterday (or maybe this morning).  I think negativity makes this journey so much harder.  I know it is almost impossible to be positive, but it can be done.  Think of how far you have come.  Last year at this time you were ready to give up every single day, and now look at you???    You are healing, you just aren't not completely healed!  We all want to get to the finish line, but there is no other way to the finish line, but through the pain and suffering.  I know it feels awful, but you will get your reward. 

 

Helen:  Hope you are enjoying your weekend!

 

LadyDen:  You are such a warrior!!!!    I love reading your posts - so much positivity and love!!!  You are a treasure.  Thanks for all the ways you speak into this horrific situation and try to help us see the silver lining.    I hope you have had a decent weekend.  I know you are really struggling right now.  Have you been able to walk at all the past couple of days?  Are you watching anything good right now? 

 

To all you other warriors, you are in my thoughts and prayers!!!  Every day!

 

 

[[He...]]

Decatur,

 

I'm so happy to hear you were able to get away for a few days. The beach can be so healing. I bet it felt strange (and good) to be gone from home once again for a few days. Congrats to you! 

 

I felt so-so yesterday but today has been a big improvement.  My husband and I drove to the college campus in our town and walked through the arboretum, the campus and the campus art museum.  It was sooo nice to get out and a beautiful day for it.  After many, many days not going further than the end of my street, this was refreshing. 

 

Let's hope some goodness moves its way into this new week.

 

Helen

 

 

 

[[La...]]

Hey everyone!!  Thinking about my benzo buddies today.    My weekends usually are not very good, but this one has not been too bad.  I did manage to go to the beach for a few nights and then spent one night in Tuscaloosa (where my youngest is in college) for Parent's Weekend.  I have not been away from home that many nights (4) for the past 2 1/2 years.  A sure sign that I am healing; not that I am there yet, but I do believe things are shifting a bit!

 

LiveLife:  I just have to believe you are going to get a break soon.  I know I keep saying that, and I believe it!!  I am so sorry you are suffering so much right now.  You are in my prayers.

 

Leeann:  Where are you?    Hopefully you have turned your t.v. off and are enjoying some time outside.    I know this journey has worn you out and you don't think you have much steam left, but I am here to tell you that you can do this.    One day at a time.  I agree with LadyDen's remarks from yesterday (or maybe this morning).  I think negativity makes this journey so much harder.  I know it is almost impossible to be positive, but it can be done.  Think of how far you have come.  Last year at this time you were ready to give up every single day, and now look at you???    You are healing, you just aren't not completely healed!  We all want to get to the finish line, but there is no other way to the finish line, but through the pain and suffering.  I know it feels awful, but you will get your reward. 

 

Helen:  Hope you are enjoying your weekend!

 

LadyDen:  You are such a warrior!!!!    I love reading your posts - so much positivity and love!!!  You are a treasure.  Thanks for all the ways you speak into this horrific situation and try to help us see the silver lining.    I hope you have had a decent weekend.  I know you are really struggling right now.  Have you been able to walk at all the past couple of days?  Are you watching anything good right now? 

 

To all you other warriors, you are in my thoughts and prayers!!!  Every day!

Soooooo awesome to read this! You did it! Yay! Lisa you’re a brave jewel. You truly are healing. I’ve been walking inside my apartment the past couple of day. I’m going to venture outside today and see how it goes. I sure wish I had a walking buddy for safety reasons but I don’t so I can’t let that stop me from seeing what I can do. The struggle is real. I walk when my symptoms let up enough for me to balance safely. My weekend was decent…better than a couple of weeks ago. I’m turning 27 months tomorrow so I’m prayerfully asking for my healing to take big leaps. I dream of the day that I can travel by car long enough to go stay the night somewhere nice. But for now going anywhere for a few minutes would be great! I will say that my ataxia and boatiness has improved overall compared to last year. I’m doing all I can to recondition myself daily. So many things we do depends on our balance. It is hard doing the simplest things. I thank you all for your posts and support. It gives me motivation and hope.

❤️🌹💗

[[Pa...]]

Just got off work and my head sensations are awful today. It's not even painful, but extremely uncomfortable.