Escaping the Trauma Trap

[[Le...]]

I was messaging with another person recovering and it was so familiar to me it was like he was telling my story. Same drug. All the same symptoms. Same family life and problems even. 

He is a little ahead of where I was at that time but struggling. Around the same point in my recovery I had a few epiphanies and quickly started improving after. I tried to convey them as best I could in the most supportive way I could. I think it is working. Instead of being completely hopeless he got to “I really want to believe” and “can this really be possible”.  I am going to share here my own words describing the process I went through shortly before making a lot of progress. If it resonates with you tell him here. Lend your support and make him believe it is possible to recover. 

 

I am going to give you the rest of what you need today and put an end to this. The result wont be immediately complete cause some built up things take a bit to right themselves but you will be just coasting downhill after until you are home again.  

 

There is one simple and basic thing that explains why this is happening. Why noone in the healthcare industry seems able to help you.

The situation you are in is completely insane and you are not. Have you heard the saying “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”?  

When I was young we used to halter young cows and tie them to a ring in the floor for days. They struggle and pull so many times that after long enough when free if you put the halter on with no rope they just stand still. If you pull they take a step forward then stop. Exactly what they did all those horrible days. After long enough they would start to lose this reinforcement so you just put on the halter alone on a few times per year to reinforce the behaviour.  Every mind from the smallest and simplest to the biggest and most complex works this way. 

People in mental health can’t help you because they have thought over and over of themselves and the industry as people that heal traumas not cause them and can’t accept what is really going on. 

You can’t help yourself cause you are not insane. You still feel the halter. Its your sore teeth, inability to sleep, racing thoughts and every malfunction of your body. 

Professionals have an idea that is helpful for people that experienced a single traumatic event. Don’t remind them of the event until they have the tools to cope with it. That doesn’t work here. You aren’t a person trying to recover from a trauma. You are at this moment still being traumatized. It hasn’t ended for you.  It is going to stop now. 

You went through this so long that just to survive you have been tempered. Someone else currently experiencing a trauma would be acting as you did in the early months. The trauma experience has been normalized for you. You endure it better than anyone else and when the trauma stops you will be so much stronger even reliving it will hardly affect you like it would someone who wasn’t tempered. 

 

I am here. Reliving everything I went through trying to help you and yes it affects me. My hair stands on end a bit. My feet feel cold. I am a bit sweaty. Any untempered person would be unhinged after hours of reliving their trauma. 

 

Stop being so sane. Accept the impossible. The fact that your brain is working how it is supposed to is why this is happening. 

 

[[...]]

@[Le...] nicely put thank you. We’ve been programmed or indoctrinated to always except that everything is our fault our problem and ours to solve. Some of us worse than others. Some of us had abusers worse than others. Yet others got to live their life without any abusers. No one ever said life is fair. And I’m always shocked when I hear someone say life is not fair because I never learned that. Did you? I am new on benzo buddies. I am getting ready to embark on a journey that I’m not looking real forward to, but it needs done nonetheless. I survived cancer 12 years ago and will not let these little pills destroy me while I still have some life left to live with my little Shiba Inu dog. I always took the exact the exact amount prescribed I like any good girl would do, and never took more than I should have and I’m now paying the same price as all the others of us trying to get a little bit of what we know as sanity back. But sanity is subjective isn’t it? Thank you for your comment. I found it very interesting, and a very good read. As for me, I will cross the street and run the other way if ever, confronted by a person in a white coat again with a prescription pad in hand. That’s the only sane thing to do in my mind. God bless us all.

Edited April 26 by [...]

[[PE...]]

Nice Post!

My trauma is gone. When i had it I accepted it. Like a annoying visitor in my house.

He left and i don't miss him. 

Edited April 26 by [PE...]

[[Pa...]]

I love the acceptance, grace and wisdom displayed on this thread, thank you @[Le...], @[...] and @[PE...]. 

[[Le...]]

This is actually my third time returning here. I can’t seem to help myself.  I want to share them and try to help out others.  Right when I figured some of this stuff out I returned and posted about a few successes I had. I connected with someone a bit earlier on and we talked. They quickly seemed to start catching up to me and I was set back a fair bit from reliving it all. We both sort of moved on and left after a long while. Getting away from here and starting to live your life is part of the process I think. 

The second time I talked to a few people who were further along than me even and wondering what to do with their future after realizing they were free. 

 

This third time I connected with someone whose experience was so similar to mine it was like he was telling me my story. I think I gave him enough hints to help him along and maybe he wont suffer as much as I did. Things came back a lot faster than usual. I know exactly why and I am not damaged physically in any way. I am actually going to be completely fine in a few weeks or a month. I will recharge and chase the recurring memories away with normal life things. All the weird physical sensations will go away and then I will be back for more. Maybe I can do it enough times, become so strong and understand this so well that I can return and carry someone out of this pit.  

I will try returning next time and just contributing a bit and use the same ID. 

 

See you all soon.