Looking for Buddies - LT High dose Xanax direct taper 1/2 way there!

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You got this Julia, great job!!!

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Thank you Seasalt!! I appreciate that. Thanks for your support.

I hope you are doing well.

Hugs,

Julia

[[ba...]]

That is impressive. I am so proud of you! 

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That is impressive. I am so proud of you! 

Thank you!!! 

[[Wo...]]

Very inspiring! You give the rest of us hope! 

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Very inspiring! You give the rest of us hope! 

Thank you! I have been given so much support and encouragement here and from my husband!! I am blessed.

Looks like you are doing well. You'll get there before you know it. 

Julia

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Hi everyone, I hope you all are hanging in there and doing well.  I am better than I was and am thinking about making a cut on Sunday.  We will see.  I am feeling so much better and it sucks to make a cut and feel bad again but maybe it won't be bad.....

 

Let me know how everyone is.

 

Hugs,

Julia

[[Wo...]]

I'm doing good! Manageable symptoms and I have 23 1/2% less poison in me! I'm hoping it stays like this for a little while. I relish in the good days! 

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I'm doing good! Manageable symptoms and I have 23 1/2% less poison in me! I'm hoping it stays like this for a little while. I relish in the good days! 

 

That is great to hear.  I never thought about it like that - the percentage that is no longer going into your body.  I like that.  I am going to try to figure out what percentage I have taken away since I started.  Not great with math anymore but I will figure it out, 

I am so glad your symptoms are manageable.  That gives me hope.  I too relish in the good days, it makes it hard sometimes to make a cut but the only way to get to 0% is to keep cutting. 

:smitten:

 

[[Wo...]]

You have done amazing with your taper! You should be so proud! It’s inspiring to me to see that and gives me encouragement and hope!  And yes, I love to know that I have that amount out of my system and to never have it going back in. 

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You have done amazing with your taper! You should be so proud! It’s inspiring to me to see that and gives me encouragement and hope!  And yes, I love to know that I have that amount out of my system and to never have it going back in. 

 

Thank you so much!  I have tried really hard to get off this evil drug and I appreciate your encouragement.  I am very proud of what I have accomplished so far and will be so happy when this drug is out of my system completely.  I am glad it inspires you, that means alot to me to think I may be helping someone else with my experiences.  There have been really rough times and there have been times that were manageable. 

 

I found a calculator and put in my numbers, as I am not able to figure out percentages at this point, and it shows I have tapered 80.35%.  Now that made me feel great!!!!  I have 20% left to go but when you look at that 80.35% number, it makes me feel like I can and will succeed at getting off this xanax.  It just made me feel so good - thank you sharing that because it made me very happy today!  Thank you!!!

 

How are you doing with your taper?  It looks like you are doing your taper in a safe way and I am glad to see that.  It is amazing to me how xanax can harm people even at a lower dose.  I am proud of you for doing it the way you are.  There are many people here on BB that have had issues with a lower dose of xanax and it is great that you are here and sharing because that does help others so much.  I am glad you found BB.  Without BB I do not know where I would be.

 

Hugs,

Julia 

 

 

[[Wo...]]

That is an amazing number!!  WAY TO GO!  You've got this! I am 23 1/2% less and at 0.19125. I do a DLMT and take out 1ml a day. If I get worse symptoms I hold at a does but have been doing good lately. I had no idea that benzo did this and had to come to terms and forgive myself for not doing the research before I took them. I was prescribed it as a muscle relaxer in the Er for a seized up neck muscle. I was told it would be great to loosen it up and help me sleep. I didn't question the doctor and have kicked and beat myself up a thousand times for that! Then I realize now lots of symptoms and problems since January 2020 were actually due to my on again/off again sometimes use here and there of this medication! I was so glad and relieved to find benzobuddies that I cried! Then finding all of you inspiring people who motivate and keep me focused, strong, and positive helps me everyday! I am very lucky that I have a very good doctor who is all about tapering me safely, slowly, and at my own pace no matter how long it takes us. She has researched all about benzo, read the Ashton manual, and searched here on benzobuddies. She's amazing. She prescribed me liquid which made it much easier for me to mix. I have a very supportive husband who stands and mixes with me every night my next days dose so I don't screw up from benzo brain and I keep a little tablet and write everything down daily in it. My husband said there is no other stronger people in this world than all of us coming off of benzos. I think so too. We are all a bunch of warriors! Hugs and thoughts to you! Keep up the good inspiring work! 

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That is an amazing number!!  WAY TO GO!  You've got this! I am 23 1/2% less and at 0.19125. I do a DLMT and take out 1ml a day. If I get worse symptoms I hold at a does but have been doing good lately. I had no idea that benzo did this and had to come to terms and forgive myself for not doing the research before I took them. I was prescribed it as a muscle relaxer in the Er for a seized up neck muscle. I was told it would be great to loosen it up and help me sleep. I didn't question the doctor and have kicked and beat myself up a thousand times for that! Then I realize now lots of symptoms and problems since January 2020 were actually due to my on again/off again sometimes use here and there of this medication! I was so glad and relieved to find benzobuddies that I cried! Then finding all of you inspiring people who motivate and keep me focused, strong, and positive helps me everyday! I am very lucky that I have a very good doctor who is all about tapering me safely, slowly, and at my own pace no matter how long it takes us. She has researched all about benzo, read the Ashton manual, and searched here on benzobuddies. She's amazing. She prescribed me liquid which made it much easier for me to mix. I have a very supportive husband who stands and mixes with me every night my next days dose so I don't screw up from benzo brain and I keep a little tablet and write everything down daily in it. My husband said there is no other stronger people in this world than all of us coming off of benzos. I think so too. We are all a bunch of warriors! Hugs and thoughts to you! Keep up the good inspiring work! 

 

Hi WondeWoman1111,

Thank you so much!  You are also doing great! I am so happy for you!  You are doing all the right things and I am so glad you have a doctor that is helping you do this the right way and understands taking it slow is truly the best way to taper and heal.

 

Wow, you just told part of my story!  I had no idea that benzo's would do what they do and I too cried when I found BB because I found out I was not the only one and I like you am thankful for the wonderful, encouraging helpful people here.  I also have aa wonderful supportive husband that has stood by me through this nightmare and gives me love and support and encouragement all the time,

 

I too was given this by a doctor to start with for my severe neck arthritis.  I did not take it all the time but it was helpful to loosen the muscles in my neck and it definitely made me sleep.  Than my PCP doctor gave it to me for anxiety and then put me on Ativan and changed me back to xanax and then cold turkeyed me off of them.  I had no idea what was going on but within 3 weeks I was so sick that I thought I might die.  I became allergic to everything, even prednisone and other meds, still can not take them.  I was allergic to my own clothes, foods and any chemical or strong smell.  That went on for months.  I lost 30 pounds in about 6 weeks and no one could figure out what the heck was going on.  When I would tell the doctor I was having internal shaking, she would just tell me to go to another specialist and they would say it  is anxiety.  Little did I know I was in full blown withdrawal. 

One Sunday morning my husband took me to the ER and I even had an allergic reaction to the saline in the IV.  The doctor said he thought I needed to see a pdoc.  So I did and he immediately put me back on xanax.  It took a year for me to stabilize .  All the while I was also seeing a therapist once a week and they kept increasing the dose and eventually had me on 3.5 - 4 mg a day.  I constantly talked to the pdoc and therapist about taking xanax too long and they kept saying it was ok so I believed them.  I too have beat myself up for trusting them but I have learned it is not my fault just like it is not your fault you believed that your doctor would not steer you wrong with this drug.  After several trips to the ER and other doctors, I was having stroke and heart attack symptoms and high blood pressure spikes and other issues. Each time I would go to the ER they would give me Ativan and say it was anxiety and I would feel better when I was there.  I started doing serious research on the internet because I knew something was so wrong and I did not believe anything the doctors were telling me anymore.  That is when I found Benzo buddies (BB)  When I started reading all the post I thought OMG that is me, that is me.  I quickly figured out I needed to get off the xanax and I needed to taper.  I told my pdoc and he said NO, I told him I was going to get off the drug with or without him so he finally said ok, taper slowly.  So on January 2019, I started my taper at 3.5 mg and have been tapering ever since.  I still am allergic to some meds and smells and all chemicals but I can function now which I could not do before. 

I am so glad that BB is here and I have talked to some wonderful people here that have helped me tremendously. 

Like you, I have a planner and  I write down my doses each day and what time I take them.  I have done this from the start and it helps me alot.  At first it was because I could not remember if I had taken my dose or not due to cog fog, and then I have kept doing it because it helps me to see in black and white where I am daily.  When I bought my planner for 2021 I made sure to get one that was pretty and made me smile.  I know this is my year to get off this drug and move on with healing and life.

 

I moved to another state October 2019 and it took me at least 5-6 months to find someone to help me to continue writing my prescription for the xanax.  I was in constant fear of running out for the first several months we were here because I did not want to run out of medicine before my taper was done and go cold turkey again.  My anxiety was high worrying all the time.  I would count the pills I had stockpiled over the previous 2 years each week since the doctor would never lower my dose in the prescriptions he wrote. I finally found a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner who is an angel.  I love her dearly.  She is amazing and helps me so much.  She is patient and also wants me to go at my own speed and understands tapering takes time.  She, like your doctor, has assured me that she will be here for me as long as it takes.  She took away so much of my fear and anxiety about running out of medicine and I talk to her once a month and I am so thankful for her.

 

My husband said there is no other stronger people in this world than all of us coming off of benzos. I think so too.

  I agree 100%.  No one knows how hard this is unless you have gone through it yourself. 

 

I am sorry this was so long, I just felt like I needed and wanted to share this with you and others.  Please do not beat yourself up, none of this is your fault! 

 

Love and hugs,

Julia  :smitten:

 

 

[[ba...]]

Beautiful posts guys. You are all true warriors. I get such a good vibe when people are staying positive, even in the midst of distress. Thank you for your great posts on this thread.

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Thank you too Baddove - you are so helpful, encouraging and supportive and I am sure I speak for all of us here - you are appreciated more than you know.

 

Even with all you are going through - you still get on here and answer posts, welcome people and give very sound information.  You too are a true warrior.

 

You help me to keep going and being positive is so important!  Thank you for being here.

 

I thank all who are here and sharing and showing support and encouragement!  We all deserve to be cared about and I love it when we all share the accomplishments we have managed to do while our worlds are turned up side down.

 

:smitten:

[[ba...]]

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Beautiful!!!!!    :smitten:

[[Wo...]]

Tolnbltp,

Oh my goodness our stories are eerily similar! From getting all sorts of allergies to everything, to multiple ER trips, to thinking I was having a stroke or heart attack, to feeling my brain vibrate internally! Every single time the doctors would say I think it's anxiety, and I would say.....this is not anxiety. I got so sick when I just stopped taking them not knowing what happens. I was so sick! I'm so thankful to benzobuddies and the people on here!  We will get off this awful medication! We can do this! 

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Tolnbltp,

Oh my goodness our stories are eerily similar! From getting all sorts of allergies to everything, to multiple ER trips, to thinking I was having a stroke or heart attack, to feeling my brain vibrate internally! Every single time the doctors would say I think it's anxiety, and I would say.....this is not anxiety. I got so sick when I just stopped taking them not knowing what happens. I was so sick! I'm so thankful to benzobuddies and the people on here!  We will get off this awful medication! We can do this! 

Hi WonderWoman1111,

Yes our stories are so similar.  It is crazy how you had the same issues at .25 to .50 mg that I had at 3.5-4 mg.  Goes to show this drug affects people like this at any dose.  It is scary.  Makes me so angry sometimes when I really think about everything I went through and like you, did not know why I was so sick and did not understand what was happening to me.  Also that the very doctors that put me on this medication did not know the affects of it and took me off of it cold turkey.  I could have died and I am guessing that since you had alot of the same issues I did, that at the dose you were taking, you could have too.

 

I am very glad we made it and did not die.  I am so grateful for BB and the people here too.  This site and it's people were and are a God send to me.  Thank goodness there was a place to come to and find out what was going on with us and a solution to it.  I am so grateful that after 5 months of having those problems and constantly thinking I was going to die that I found BB and found out what was wrong with me.  Not knowing what was causing my problems was so hard but once I found out and found out there is a solution, that made a huge difference to me.

 

It has been hard but I will say, it has been easier to taper than it was to go though those 5 months of total hell.

 

I am making a cut today and taking the cut from my last cut of the day and I will be at .625, 82.14% less than when I started to taper.  I love seeing that percentage number.  That gives me even more motivation to do this and keep going.  Thank you for that!

 

Yes, we will get off this awful medication and heal and I believe we will be stronger people and for me I know I will appreciate every day and live life to the fullest.  I want back what the Xanax took away.

 

Have a great day!

 

Hugs,

Julia 

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Beautiful posts guys. You are all true warriors. I get such a good vibe when people are staying positive, even in the midst of distress. Thank you for your great posts on this thread.

Hi Baddove,

Just wanted to say hello and hope you are having a decent day.  I am making my cut today and I am happy I am.  It is time.  Thank you for your encouragement.

 

Hugs,

Julia :smitten: :angel:

[[Rc...]]

  I am on day 5.  I was on .75mg for a couple of years. A couple of months ago I went to 1mg.  A week ago I decided I was done.  So, under the guidance of my PCP, a Psychiatrist and my Rheumatologist (I suffer from Sjogrens Syndrome) at a major medical center I am on an 8 week taper.  I was taking .25 four times daily. This week I am on .875. Then .75  and so on.  After 4 weeks I will be on .125mg four times per day and eliminate one each week.

 

This is the plan. If it takes longer that is not a problem.  I take absolutely no other meds for my various autoimmune issues and do not drink. My Wife and I live a healthy lifestyle.  While pain, depression and anxiety can be overwhelming, I practice Acceptance therapy, meditation and walk daily.

 

Still, even at this low dose this no fun.

 

I really wish the best to all,

 

Rcristal

[[ba...]]

Rcristal,

 

Thank you for contributing to our support group.

 

I admire your determination to get off the drug, as well as the wisdom of working with your medical providers.

 

However, your planned taper is much faster than recommended. I would like you to go through the following sections, and consider slowing it down. And of course, feel free to share this information with your health care team.

 

Planning Your Withdrawal (Taper Plans)

 

The Ashton Manual

 

What is happening in your brain:

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=232042.0

 

Whatever you decide, we will support you, and be here for you as you undergo this process.

 

[[Rc...]]

I really appreciate the input and the wisdom, I really do.  I have spent a great deal of time on the Ashton Manual.  Nothing is set in stone. I am an open book.  My Docs are experienced with this sort of thing and are most comfortable with 8 weeks.  Please keep in mind that I have multiple other health issues that are quite painful and take monitoring.  My y Integrative Doc is pleased that I have refused Plaquenal, antidepressants, Methotrexate and on and on.  I take nothing.  I meditate, practice the works of Dr Claire Weeks (primarily Acceptance therapy), walk briskly and eat healthy.  Also, a number of years ago I was on Xanax @ .75mg and weaned off in 1-2 weeks.

 

Having said the above I was not aware that even at a low dose this would become a potential problem.  My Wife and I are thinking that I might change from 7 to ten days for each of the 8 reductions.  Of course, this would extend the weaning period from 56 to 80 days. I am completely open and will play it by ear.

 

For 70 years I have been a health nut. Even when autoimmune issues caused many problems I continue exercise as I am able. This whole drug thing is new to me. I took Xanax for anxiety, Tinnitus, Neuropathy pain, to get some sleep etc.  This whole issue is foreign to my nature.

 

I absolutely HATE Xanax.  I can not tell you how much I dispise putting the pills in my mouth each day.

 

I hope all the best for everyone,

 

Rcristal

 

 

[[ba...]]

We will respect your choice, of course.  Stay in touch, let us know how we can help you going forward.

[[ba...]]

WonderWoman welcome. Thank you for becoming more active in this thread. Every one has valuable insights, experiences and wisdom to offer.  Thank you for your contributions. Looking forward to future posts. And, of course, we are here to help and serve you in any way we can.