Looking for Buddies - LT High dose Xanax direct taper 1/2 way there!

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Julia, I began .25mg twice a day back in December when my Dr. thought I had a rare tumor.  After only a couple of weeks things went sideways fo me.  In March after multiple tests with no answers I decided to start dosing down.  I was having inter dose withdrawal and was lucky enough to figure it out.  My heart rate was all over the place and I began having anxiety and panic attacks for the first time in my life.  When undergoing the tests, I was given prednisone twice and both times gave me depressed breathing (I was afraid to go to sleep at night).  It took three months to stabilize, and I made my frosty cut.  I realized early on I was much more sensitive than others, I began have reaction to foods and all medications.  I have no idea why this is happening (assuming hormones).  I did not cut on Sunday, opted to hold another week and will dose down in a few days.  Taking it slow, I have ptsd from my inter dose withdrawal stage.  I refused to updose and fought it for three months before it finally ended.  I have had just about every side effect mentioned.  I am blessed to have found BB, I am encouraged by everyone’s posts.  Keep going and I will too!!! Hugs..

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Julia, I began .25mg twice a day back in December when my Dr. thought I had a rare tumor.  After only a couple of weeks things went sideways fo me.  In March after multiple tests with no answers I decided to start dosing down.  I was having inter dose withdrawal and was lucky enough to figure it out.    I was lucky that I was able to find out when I did too, by researching the internet and found BB and read so many things that were what I had been experiencing.  My heart rate was all over the place and I began having anxiety and panic attacks for the first time in my life. I totally relate to that too - my heart rate and blood pressure has spiked for quite some time and I went to the ER many times thinking I was having a heart attack or stroke.  I had never had a panic attack until I was put on a cold turkey by a doctor that did not know anything about these drugs.  Horrible panic attacks that lasted for what seemed hours sometimes.  Had them daily for months.  When undergoing the tests, I was given prednisone twice and both times gave me depressed breathing (I was afraid to go to sleep at night).  It took three months to stabilize, and I made my frosty cut.  I realized early on I was much more sensitive than others, I began have reaction to foods and all medications. Wow - I too am very sensitive and I became allergic and had reactions to foods, medications and believe it or not - my TV and cell phone.

I could not watch tv without a mask on and the only way I could talk on the cell phone or house phone was if they were on speaker phone and I was a little ways away from them.  I thought I had gone crazy.  Thank God that has stopped but I also am allergic to prednisone because of all of this.I have no idea why this is happening (assuming hormones).  I did not cut on Sunday, opted to hold another week and will dose down in a few days.  Taking it slow, I have ptsd from my inter dose withdrawal stage. I have PTSD due to other things in my life but this has made it worse. I refused to updose and fought it for three months before it finally ended. When I was taken off Xanax, after 3 weeks is when my nightmare began.  I was so sick and had the internal tremors and did not know what they were and when I would tell my doctor, they would look at me like I was nuts.  I was allergic to my clothes and could not have any kind of scent around me.  If I went out I had to wear a mask.  It was horrible  After suffering for 4 months, with so many other things too, I thought I was going to die many times, and at that point, wanted to, I went to see a psyc doctor and he put me back on Xanax and it took a year for me to stabilize and all the while he was increasing my dose.  Up to 3.5 - 4 mg a day!  . I have had just about every side effect mentioned. Me too.  So sad. I am blessed to have found BB, I am encouraged by everyone’s posts.  Keep going and I will too!!! Hugs..Me too and you got it girl - we can do this together!!!  Never lose hope. 

 

OMG - I just thought I was reading about myself, literally - I totally understand so much of what you were saying happened to you.  I think it is a wise choice to hold another week especially with the holiday coming.  I , like you, am so sensitive to so many things that I never was before.

 

Know I am here and care about you and will keep you in my prayers. 

 

Love and hugs,

Julia

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I literally went to the ER multiple times in 3 months.  I saw a cardiologist, neurologist, endocrinologist, I felt helpless.  My blood pressure went through the roof and then one day it just crashed.  For eight months now it has been 92/75 ish.  Lucky for me my Dr. has known me for 20 years, I financed her first home.  When this all started she knew it was completely out of character and knew something had to be terribly wrong.  She too thought I was on such a low dose I should have no problem discontinuing. She could not have been more wrong.  I am now listening to my body (it’s the only thing I can trust), following suggestions and experiences of others, and accepting that this is going to be a long road.  I am managing to stay employed and work through it at a tolerable pace for me.

 

I think the more stress that is put on the body the worse things will be when we finally discontinue the meds.  I am in complete fear of contracting Corona or any virus that may require antibiotics or steroids.  But I also know I can’t live in a bubble, I just want to understand what is happening and why.  Thankful to have the support of others, thankful to you Julia for giving me hope and realizing I am not alone.

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I literally went to the ER multiple times in 3 months.  I saw a cardiologist, neurologist, endocrinologist, I felt helpless.  My blood pressure went through the roof and then one day it just crashed.  For eight months now it has been 92/75 ish.  Lucky for me my Dr. has known me for 20 years, I financed her first home.  When this all started she knew it was completely out of character and knew something had to be terribly wrong.  She too thought I was on such a low dose I should have no problem discontinuing. She could not have been more wrong.  I am now listening to my body (it’s the only thing I can trust), following suggestions and experiences of others, and accepting that this is going to be a long road.  I am managing to stay employed and work through it at a tolerable pace for me.

 

I think the more stress that is put on the body the worse things will be when we finally discontinue the meds.  I am in complete fear of contracting Corona or any virus that may require antibiotics or steroids.  But I also know I can’t live in a bubble, I just want to understand what is happening and why.  Thankful to have the support of others, thankful to you Julia for giving me hope and realizing I am not alone.

 

Morning, I hope you are doing ok today.  I can relate to so much that you have been through.  Communicating and sharing our stories are what gave me the information I needed to make wise decisions and to start tapering almost 2 years ago.  I kept going to my therapist and telling him I was concerned about the Xanax but he kept telling me as long as I was taking it as prescribed I would be fine!  Then he kept telling the psyc doctor to increase my dose!!!  Well - I was not fine and he was part of the problem.  I went there for over 2 years trying to get help after the cold turkey only to be put in a situation that would almost kill me as well.  This drug is not for long term use. 

I like you went to cardiologist, neurologist, allergist etc.  Every test and every type of specialist was baffled and did not help.  When I found BB is when I figured out I was in withdrawal and that the Xanax had turned on me and was what was causing the blood pressure spikes, tremors, heart attack and stroke symptoms.  I too went to the ER multiple times and of course as soon as they learned I was on Xanax and had anxiety issues, they would just blame it on anxiety.  Then they would give me Ativan while I was there and that did help but they never said I needed to taper or get off the Xanax.  It was horrible.

 

I have seen on BB where people have been on low doses of Xanax and not even be on it for a long time and they have had alot of problems getting off of it.  Some people are so sensitive that is like for them the same as someone that has been on a high dose and long term users.  It is insane what this drug can do, and fast!!!

 

I am glad you are still able to work.  Distraction is good for us too.  At least for me it is and has been for the last 2 years. 

 

Take care.  We can and will get through this!!

 

Love and hugs,

Julia

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Thank you for sharing.  Hopefully others that are having similar symptoms can relate to our posts and find peace knowing they are not alone.  Take care and keep me updated on your progress, you have given me hope! 

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Thank you for sharing.  Hopefully others that are having similar symptoms can relate to our posts and find peace knowing they are not alone.  Take care and keep me updated on your progress, you have given me hope!

 

Thank you for sharing too!  I believe that we all help each other more than we even realize sometimes.  It is nice to know there is a place we can all come to and just read what others go through and some days that is all I do and it helps me.  I want to help others like I have been helped here and continue to get help here.  You have helped me as well. 

You take care as well - You brought a tear to my eye when you said I have given you hope!  That made my day.  Thank you!  God bless us all!!!

Love and hugs,

Julia

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Hi all,

wanted to say hi and see how everyone is doing?  I am hanging in there.  Trying to stay safe.

 

Thinking about doing a cut on Sunday.  Will depend on how this week goes.  I am feeling better so it may be time.

 

Please everyone, keep me posted on how you are !

 

:smitten:

Hugs, Julia

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Hello Julia,

 

All is good, made a small cut yesterday.  How are you?

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Hello Julia,

 

All is good, made a small cut yesterday.  How are you?

 

Hi. I'm doing ok. I messed up my last cut and had serious withdrawal but it's been a month and I'm getting alot better.

How's it going since you made a cut? Good I hope. That's great that you were able to make a cut.

Hope you're doing well and hope you had a good Thanksgiving.

Hugs and Love,

Julia

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Thank you for sharing.  Hopefully others that are having similar symptoms can relate to our posts and find peace knowing they are not alone.  Take care and keep me updated on your progress, you have given me hope!

 

Thank you for sharing too!  I believe that we all help each other more than we even realize sometimes.  It is nice to know there is a place we can all come to and just read what others go through and some days that is all I do and it helps me.  I want to help others like I have been helped here and continue to get help here.  You have helped me as well. 

You take care as well - You brought a tear to my eye when you said I have given you hope!  That made my day.  Thank you!  God bless us all!!!

Love and hugs,

Julia

 

 

Sea salt, your timing on writing about blood pressure spikes is just the ticket for a friend who is experiencing them for the first time. Sharing your post and Julia's response with her.

 

Julia, you are a God send. Your positivity and support and breadth of knowledge and good sense are invaluable for the xanax community.

 

Thanks to both of you. I try and stay active in this forum in my mod role, but have had to take a break for a while due to my own issues. Looks like you folks are doing a fantastic job in here.

 

You never know who might experience what you write about, and get a huge sense of relief as they, too, are going through something similar.

 

Stay positive, keep it real, spread the love.

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I have been down in the wd hole for months. Yesterday I had  a few hours of calm, WOW. What a difference. Didn't count on it today (I know better,) but I am STILL calmer.

 

However, I just went to get the paprika and was looking for it in the dishwasher.  :laugh: :laugh:

 

I wont be cooking today, lol, I don't even care, I am happy not to be in so much pain, even if my brain is fogged up.

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Baddove,

 

I am so glad you are feeling better.  You have come a long way as well.  We just have to except this is our life for a while.  Happy we can support one another through this process.  I try to always remember when I am feeling horrible..tomorrow is a new day! 

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Thank you for sharing.  Hopefully others that are having similar symptoms can relate to our posts and find peace knowing they are not alone.  Take care and keep me updated on your progress, you have given me hope!

 

Thank you for sharing too!  I believe that we all help each other more than we even realize sometimes.  It is nice to know there is a place we can all come to and just read what others go through and some days that is all I do and it helps me.  I want to help others like I have been helped here and continue to get help here.  You have helped me as well. 

You take care as well - You brought a tear to my eye when you said I have given you hope!  That made my day.  Thank you!  God bless us all!!!

Love and hugs,

Julia

 

 

Sea salt, your timing on writing about blood pressure spikes is just the ticket for a friend who is experiencing them for the first time. Sharing your post and Julia's response with her.

 

Julia, you are a God send. Your positivity and support and breadth of knowledge and good sense are invaluable for the xanax community.

 

Thanks to both of you. I try and stay active in this forum in my mod role, but have had to take a break for a while due to my own issues. Looks like you folks are doing a fantastic job in here.

 

You never know who might experience what you write about, and get a huge sense of relief as they, too, are going through something similar.

 

Stay positive, keep it real, spread the love.

 

Thank you Baddove,  that was so kind of you to write.  I have been tapering for almost 2 years and BB is where I have found the most valuable information and the most help!  Before finding BB, I had no idea why I was so sick and had no idea what I had been going through was in fact WD.  Once I got here, and started tapering, my life has been so much better.  Knowing what is going on with your body and mind is a start to getting better.  It does not make the work we have to do and the pain and suffering we feel easy, but I agree that when we post on here and others read what we are going through, it helps us to feel like we are not alone and also that some of what we are dealing with is normal for the situation we are in.  It is also a blessing that I have made friends here that I will always appreciate and hold dear in my heart.  There is nothing like making a friend who is understanding and compassionate at a time in your life that is so hard and painful.  Those people will always be loved and remembered always.  I include you when I say this.

 

I do not know what I would have done or where I would be if I had not learned about BB and what was happening to me.  My guess is that the PDOC and therapist I was seeing would have continued to raise my dose of Xanax since they were not educated enough to know I was in WD.  I actually talked to them many times about being scared of being on Xanax so long and they kept telling me as long as I took the prescription as prescribed, which I had, I would be ok.  But that is so untrue.  I believe if I had continued on the way I was, I would have died.

 

So being positive and encouraging and supportive is how I try to live my life.  I am glad that it helps you as well. 

 

I am here, anytime, to chat or post or just share what I have gone through or what I am currently going through.  I want to help.

 

Love and hugs,

Julia  :smitten:

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I have been down in the wd hole for months. Yesterday I had  a few hours of calm, WOW. What a difference. Didn't count on it today (I know better,) but I am STILL calmer.

 

However, I just went to get the paprika and was looking for it in the dishwasher.  :laugh: :laugh:

 

I wont be cooking today, lol, I don't even care, I am happy not to be in so much pain, even if my brain is fogged up.

 

Hi Baddove,

I am so HAPPY for you!  That is great to hear!  Maybe this is the turning point for you. You deserve to feel better and I am glad you had 2 good days.  That is incredible.

 

I hope and pray it keeps going for you!

 

I have done that too - look for something in the most ridiculous places. LOL  I agree , feeling better is better than worrying about having to cook when you are getting a break that you need!

 

Love and hugs,

:smitten: :)

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Baddove,

 

I am so glad you are feeling better.  You have come a long way as well.  We just have to except this is our life for a while.  Happy we can support one another through this process.  I try to always remember when I am feeling horrible..tomorrow is a new day!

Hi Seasalt,

I agree with you, acceptance is the answer to alot of things.  Knowing this will not be how our lives are forever, helps to get through the day sometimes.

I hope you are doing well.

 

Hugs,

Julia :angel:

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Hi all,

Making a cut today.  I was careful to make sure I did not mess up like the last cut.  I am hoping I am ready for this cut but if I am not, my body and brain will let me know within a couple days and it being this close to Christmas, if I am having severe WD, I will just go back to the previous dose and try again in a week or two.

 

I hope everyone is doing well today and will have a good holiday season.  With the virus, I am staying home and my husband and I will enjoy the day together.  Looking forward to 2021 and hoping my journey getting off Xanax will be completed and that the world will be a safer place.

 

I have so much to be grateful for even with this nightmare I have been living for 4 years.  It is getting better and I am getting better.  I am focused on getting well and healing.

 

Take care! 

 

Julia

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Julia, good for you. It can be so intimidating. Hopefully, this cut will be kind.

 

As of today, I am right back in the wave. I anticipated it would crash, not surprised. I have been in a wave for months. Did not expect my wonderful break to stick around, more of a hope that my brain is finally getting a clue. Do hope I have more calm days ahead. 

 

Be well everyone.

 

 

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Hang it there baddove, tomorrow is a new day.  Hugs

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Julia, good for you. It can be so intimidating. Hopefully, this cut will be kind.

 

As of today, I am right back in the wave. I anticipated it would crash, not surprised. I have been in a wave for months. Did not expect my wonderful break to stick around, more of a hope that my brain is finally getting a clue. Do hope I have more calm days ahead. 

 

Be well everyone.

Hi Baddove,

I am so sorry that you are back in the wave.  Maybe it is a start of more calm days for you though.  I will pray it is.  Some of my cuts were like that, it hit hard, then got better and then went back to being bad and then one day, I would be stable and would be so happy to feel better.  Then it would be time for another cut.....  vicious cycle I know, but that's how we taper off this horrible, horrible drug.  I know it will get better for you.  I just wish it would happen faster for you  Sounds like you have had a really rough time. 

I will be thinking about you! 

 

Hugs and lots of love,

Julia

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Hang it there baddove, tomorrow is a new day.  Hugs

Well put Seasalt.  I hope you are doing well too.  How is your cut going ?

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I cut on Monday and I have been ok, increases anxiety and I feel like I have asthma or something, it’s strange.  Looping thoughts, headache and gastric issues the last five days, hoping “tomorrow “ is different.

 

How are you doing Julia?!?

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I cut on Monday and I have been ok, increases anxiety and I feel like I have asthma or something, it’s strange.  Looping thoughts, headache and gastric issues the last five days, hoping “tomorrow “ is different.

 

How are you doing Julia?!?

Hi,

I hope tomorrow is better for you too. It really sucks when you don't feel good. I'm doing ok. I'm doing a cut today, from the last dose of the day. I'm hoping to do ok. I've been having headache's on and off the last couple days but don't know why.

I've had gastric issues since I started tapering. It's been better the last few months except right after I do a cut.

 

Hoping this cut isn't bad or I may go back to last dose because I don't want Christmas and my husband's birthday to be difficult for either of us.

Take care.

Hugs,

Julia

 

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Julia, try to stick it out if you can.  Just one dose closer to freedom.  You and I are having very similar symptoms.  Know you are not suffering alone.  Hugs

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Julia, try to stick it out if you can.  Just one dose closer to freedom.  You and I are having very similar symptoms.  Know you are not suffering alone.  Hugs

Hi Seasalt - I will. Thank you for saying that. I would not want to go backwards. The day we are free will be a prayer answered.

Hugs,

Julia

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Julia, try to stick it out if you can.  Just one dose closer to freedom.  You and I are having very similar symptoms.  Know you are not suffering alone.  Hugs

Hi Seasalt - I will. Thank you for saying that. I would not want to go backwards. The day we are free will be a prayer answered.

Hugs,

Julia

 

 

Yes.

 

Can I play person number 3 with similar symptoms? Interesting. Air hunger, anxiety/panic, tension head and face aches, ongoing gastric nasties, burning skin and deep chills, moderate DP/DR. It is not as intense as it was a month ago. The benzo brain is pretty much a constant, not even worth mentioning.

 

Be well