Under .125 Klonopin Club

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Thanks green cup!

Yes, you’ve come a long way. Take your time. We all want to be well when we are done, that’s for sure. Best wishes!

PS I don’t know how those weird faces got on my post asking about Teva alternatives?

Be well green x x

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Anyone hear from WW?

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Scaredie - Nice Job! 

 

Well I've hemmed and hawed about this for a bit, and that actually started giving me some stress, so I am going to hold until July 7th, cause I have a bunch of things going on in life and they'll be over by then.  I've seen a few stories in the last week of people who tapered fast and are sorry about it so I am hoping that my post taper life will be easier because of these decisions I am making now. 

Well that gets you past July 4th holiday which should reduce stress.

[[fl...]]

Good, Scaredie.

 

Yes, GreenCup, taking the long view.

 

After my horrible day on Monday, I have slept well for two nights and the days have been okay, too, so I am continuing my taper---down to .027 tomorrow.

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Glad your feeling better, Flibberty. Congrats on moving on.

 

Can’t rememer did I ask you if you take or have taken teva clonazapam & it agreed with you? If so, do you know of a comparable alternative generic that you also have experience with?

 

Thanks & best wishes on the next part of your voyage.

[[Wo...]]

Hi everyone. So much has happened in the last week or so since I took a break. I am sitting outside the grocery store in my car trying to read everything in my phone and realize I want to chime in on so much. I’ll wait til I get to my computer later.

 

I’ve been in a long window and this week symptoms have been creeping back today is much more wavey than a long time.

 

Kristin this is exactly why I’ve been to chicken to try liquid! I’ve heard that story a lot. I SO hope you can stabilize quickly on the pills again.

 

Okay more later!!

 

Welcome to the newbies here!

 

WW

[[NJ...]]

Hi everyone. So much has happened in the last week or so since I took a break. I am sitting outside the grocery store in my car trying to read everything in my phone and realize I want to chime in on so much. I’ll wait til I get to my computer later.

 

I’ve been in a long window and this week symptoms have been creeping back today is much more wavey than a long time.

 

Kristin this is exactly why I’ve been to chicken to try liquid! I’ve heard that story a lot. I SO hope you can stabilize quickly on the pills again.

 

Okay more later!!

 

Welcome to the newbies here!

 

WW

 

WW--Congratulations on your milestone! It looks like you are doing well.

[[Gr...]]

WW- I hope your window continues!

 

Kristin- How are you doing?  Did you keep on with the liquid? 

 

My sleep was slightly better last night.  I think I need to put more happy or less negative things in my head during the day.  I have been reading the news a lot and I think it is effecting all my thoughts negatively.  Yesterday I finished a fiction book, and it was really nice having a story in my head that wasn't so negative.  Sometimes at night I wake up, and go to my phone to search stuff that I was just dreaming and/or  thinking about and so often it is just horrible horrible things that are going on in the world. 

 

Last night, when I woke up, instead of searching anything, I did a crossword puzzle on my phone.  I think it helped a bit.

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Scaredie---No, I have been lucky to have the same brand, Sandoz, the entire time.

 

Kristin---Also wondering if you have continued with the liquid.

 

WW---Congratulations on your long window; hope the wave has passed.  We are practically at the same dosage.

 

Bob---Have you been feeling your .001 reductions?

 

So, I feel like I have been much better since I stopped doing the things that were supposed to make me feel better, i.e. acupuncture, talk therapy, and massage.  My pattern has been two good nights of sleep followed by two good days, then a horrible night and day, repeat.  I've been so much more active without revving up my symptoms.  On the other hand, the dp/dr have been horrendous, and  I cannot have the glimmer of a negative thought without an all over body surge of adrenaline.  But, I've been reading a mystery, the first thing I've been able to read in months.  It's like getter better and getting worse at the same time.

 

I had a phone consult with Jennifer Leigh---just to quiet my support system---and actually found it really helpful.  She had nothing new to say but her encouragement and reassurance felt great.  I think there was value in speaking with someone who's actually "been there" and has counseled many people over the past few years.

 

I hope the quiet means that people are doing well.

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Scaredie---No, I have been lucky to have the same brand, Sandoz, the entire time.

 

Kristin---Also wondering if you have continued with the liquid.

 

WW---Congratulations on your long window; hope the wave has passed.  We are practically at the same dosage.

 

Bob---Have you been feeling your .001 reductions?

 

So, I feel like I have been much better since I stopped doing the things that were supposed to make me feel better, i.e. acupuncture, talk therapy, and massage.  My pattern has been two good nights of sleep followed by two good days, then a horrible night and day, repeat.  I've been so much more active without revving up my symptoms.  On the other hand, the dp/dr have been horrendous, and  I cannot have the glimmer of a negative thought without an all over body surge of adrenaline.  But, I've been reading a mystery, the first thing I've been able to read in months.  It's like getter better and getting worse at the same time.

 

I had a phone consult with Jennifer Leigh---just to quiet my support system---and actually found it really helpful.  She had nothing new to say but her encouragement and reassurance felt great.  I think there was value in speaking with someone who's actually "been there" and has counseled many people over the past few years.

 

I hope the quiet means that people are doing well.

Yes flibbberty, I still am doing dry 0.001 mg daily reductions.  I am getting close to day 50.  I thought I would post on my 50th day to celebrate.  As for withdrawal, my symptoms are not bad.  I mean, they exist but are low level.  Burping and some insomnia and fatigue and very light back pain.  I think the most significant thing is how consistent my symptoms have become.  I want to believe it is do to having a very accurate way of reducing 0.001 mg each day.  It is like I reached a level of consistency.  I hope this lasts.  I have 77 days to go.

If anyone else wants to try the dry taper, I am willing to help.  I have helped one other person, they are on the second week.

 

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Flibberty-  Glad your consult helped.

 

Bob-  Are you not planning on holding at all for the rest of your taper? 

 

I have so much anger/anxiety this morning.  I am trying to not let it take over my day. 

 

It's kind of crazy to me that for years, and I mean decades of my life, I have had this anxiety and with it, felt shame and disgust with myself for not being able to stop it.  I would retreat from life and try so hard to calm myself down and figure out what was causing it.  Doctors would tell me it was "just part of my anxiety".  Now, for the first time in ages, I am actually able to calm myself down and find actual triggers and also just know that a lot of this is my GABA receptors trying to heal.  For the first time in a long long time, I know, that this is actually temporary, and not my fault, and going to end someday.  That is just so much more hopeful for me, than taking drugs for it and accepting it as just "part of my anxiety". 

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Flibberty-  Glad your consult helped.

 

Bob-  Are you not planning on holding at all for the rest of your taper? 

 

I have so much anger/anxiety this morning.  I am trying to not let it take over my day. 

 

It's kind of crazy to me that for years, and I mean decades of my life, I have had this anxiety and with it, felt shame and disgust with myself for not being able to stop it.  I would retreat from life and try so hard to calm myself down and figure out what was causing it.  Doctors would tell me it was "just part of my anxiety".  Now, for the first time in ages, I am actually able to calm myself down and find actual triggers and also just know that a lot of this is my GABA receptors trying to heal.  For the first time in a long long time, I know, that this is actually temporary, and not my fault, and going to end someday.  That is just so much more hopeful for me, than taking drugs for it and accepting it as just "part of my anxiety". 

Hi GreenCup,

 

Yes, I do plan (hope) to not hold.  I pray hard about getting of the Benzos.  I have such a small and repeatable daily reduction, I hope I can continue it every day. 

 

Today is the 50th day I have done a 0.001mg reduction.  My withdrawal symptoms have been about the same level throughout the 50 days (maybe the first 10 days were worse).  Sometimes, I think the withdrawal symptoms are going down - perhaps due to less benzo?

 

There have been a few days during these first 50 days where, due to work stress (like business travel and having to do presentations) made my symptoms real bad for a couple of work days, BUT I told myself the symptoms would pass as soon as the work stress reduces again - and it has been true.

 

I am learning to cope with my anxiety without the drug (or at least suffer with it until the external issue goes away).  These problems in life do not last forever.  I have learned to wait out a bad few days at work so I can continue to taper.

 

I pray work stays generally clam so I can continue this. 

 

 

[[Kr...]]

Hey everyone!  So I did not continue with the liquid.  I am back to dry cutting and have had some rough days where I was not able to do much except move from the couch to the bed to the bath (seems like an every other day pattern), but I've been feeling better over the past couple days and was able to get out of the house and drive yesterday.  I was experiencing some pretty deep depression due to the unrelenting physical symptoms...just feeling hopeless because I was incapable of functioning mentally or physically...projecting all of that into the future, but that lifted when the physical stuff started to lessen in intensity.  My depression is very much connected to not feeling well physically, feeling trapped in my body and stuck in this place in life.  When I'm out of it, I can see all the progress I've made and am hopeful for a brighter future.

 

Flibberty - I find it interesting that you started to feel better after you stopped doing some of the things that were supposed to make you feel better.  I'm glad you are enjoying reading again.  And I totally relate to what you expressed about it getting better and worse at the same time. I have felt that.  Some physical stuff is horrendous but then I'm able to access my mental functioning easier.  I'm glad your consult with Jennifer Leigh was validating.  Was it a one time consult or does she offer some kind of ongoing counseling?

 

Greencup - I am so happy you are figuring out ways to calm the anxiety. What a breakthrough!  And yes, this is not your fault.  We're fed a lot of nonsense about our "anxiety" by well-meaning doctors who are unaware of the medications contribution to that mental state.  I am happy you are healing and hopeful.  I'm glad you are holding your dosage for awhile.  Have you started packing?

 

Bob - Wow!  50 days.  Congrats!  Keep going with what you are doing.  You are so kind to offer to help with your method.  I just cut another .003mg a couple days ago and am going to hold for a bit.  I wish I could go faster but I just don't think it's right for my body at this point.

 

WW - Good to hear from you.  I found your YouTube the other day and watched some of your videos.  You are adorable!  I think your positive perspective is very helpful for others to watch.  There's a lot of doom and gloom out there, understandably so, but not so encouraging, you know.  I like how you keep it real and share your coping strategies.  I never thought about timing the waves.  I did that the other day and it was like 28 hours, lol.  But it ended.  You are getting so close to the finish line!

 

A question about anxiety and symptoms: Was anyone here put on benzos for reasons that were not anxiety related?  My first prescription was for insomnia.  My doctor thought if I just took a xanax when I was waking in the early morning hours I would get better sleep and my physical issues would heal (was having lots of stomach stuff and fatigue).  I think I was waking due to adrenal fatigue and stomach issues that were the result of trying and stopping 3 different antidepressants in the years prior  I thankfully never dealt with the terrible anxiety/panic that so many others seem to suffer from, but I developed it as a result of being on benzos.  I'm just wondering if my physical symptoms are so bad because I wasn't suffering from anxiety in the first place, and that perhaps since the benzo wasn't needed for anxiety it went to work on other parts of me.  I know that Baylissa was being treated for an eye twitch or something like that and have awful withdrawals.  I guess I'm just curious how those who were not previously anxious people are affected by long-term use of benzos...if there's a correlation with having difficult withdrawals.

 

[[NJ...]]

Hey everyone!  So I did not continue with the liquid.  I am back to dry cutting and have had some rough days where I was not able to do much except move from the couch to the bed to the bath (seems like an every other day pattern), but I've been feeling better over the past couple days and was able to get out of the house and drive yesterday.  I was experiencing some pretty deep depression due to the unrelenting physical symptoms...just feeling hopeless because I was incapable of functioning mentally or physically...projecting all of that into the future, but that lifted when the physical stuff started to lessen in intensity.  My depression is very much connected to not feeling well physically, feeling trapped in my body and stuck in this place in life.  When I'm out of it, I can see all the progress I've made and am hopeful for a brighter future.

 

Flibberty - I find it interesting that you started to feel better after you stopped doing some of the things that were supposed to make you feel better.  I'm glad you are enjoying reading again.  And I totally relate to what you expressed about it getting better and worse at the same time. I have felt that.  Some physical stuff is horrendous but then I'm able to access my mental functioning easier.  I'm glad your consult with Jennifer Leigh was validating.  Was it a one time consult or does she offer some kind of ongoing counseling?

 

Greencup - I am so happy you are figuring out ways to calm the anxiety. What a breakthrough!  And yes, this is not your fault.  We're fed a lot of nonsense about our "anxiety" by well-meaning doctors who are unaware of the medications contribution to that mental state.  I am happy you are healing and hopeful.  I'm glad you are holding your dosage for awhile.  Have you started packing?

 

Bob - Wow!  50 days.  Congrats!  Keep going with what you are doing.  You are so kind to offer to help with your method.  I just cut another .003mg a couple days ago and am going to hold for a bit.  I wish I could go faster but I just don't think it's right for my body at this point.

 

WW - Good to hear from you.  I found your YouTube the other day and watched some of your videos.  You are adorable!  I think your positive perspective is very helpful for others to watch.  There's a lot of doom and gloom out there, understandably so, but not so encouraging, you know.  I like how you keep it real and share your coping strategies.  I never thought about timing the waves.  I did that the other day and it was like 28 hours, lol.  But it ended.  You are getting so close to the finish line!

 

A question about anxiety and symptoms: Was anyone here put on benzos for reasons that were not anxiety related?  My first prescription was for insomnia.  My doctor thought if I just took a xanax when I was waking in the early morning hours I would get better sleep and my physical issues would heal (was having lots of stomach stuff and fatigue).  I think I was waking due to adrenal fatigue and stomach issues that were the result of trying and stopping 3 different antidepressants in the years prior  I thankfully never dealt with the terrible anxiety/panic that so many others seem to suffer from, but I developed it as a result of being on benzos.  I'm just wondering if my physical symptoms are so bad because I wasn't suffering from anxiety in the first place, and that perhaps since the benzo wasn't needed for anxiety it went to work on other parts of me.  I know that Baylissa was being treated for an eye twitch or something like that and have awful withdrawals.  I guess I'm just curious how those who were not previously anxious people are affected by long-term use of benzos...if there's a correlation with having difficult withdrawals.

 

Kristin,

I was also put on benzos for insomnia. Which is why it is so frustrating that people tell me "it is the anxiety returning" or "just stay on a low dose for life"--why would I do that if klonopin doesn't help me sleep any more.  I am glad you are doing a little better with the switch back from liquid. I keep thinking I should try liquid but I am terrified of having a bad reaction. Hope you continue to feel better.

[[Kr...]]

Thanks for chiming in, NJstrength. I can understand those frustrations! You've also had bad stomach issues which is another similarity between us, though mine are not as severe at this point. It's interesting to consider how withdrawing from benzos can affect people differently, and how the underlying reason for starting might contribute to the widely varying experiences.

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Hey all - about KristinM's question concerning starting benzos due to anxiety or insomnia.

 

In my case, the anxiety was the chief cause of my insomnia.  I did not know this at the time.  I used to think insomnia was my worse problem throughout life, but I am beginning to think I always had anxiety and it affected my sleep.  I just did not recognize the anxiety when I was younger.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[Kr...]]

Interesting, Bob. I'm glad you figured out that your insomnia might have been the result of underlying anxiety, and that you are finding ways how to deal with anxiety now. That's a really powerful realization.

In my case, I never had issues with insomnia until around 2009 after I had been on and off three antidepressants over the course of 2 years. I really think they messed with my brain chemistry and caused lots of physical issues, one being insomnia. I was given benzos to deal with it and would take them initially at 2 a.m. when I would awake. They would  sedate me enough so that I could fall back asleep.

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Interesting, Bob. I'm glad you figured out that your insomnia might have been the result of underlying anxiety, and that you are finding ways how to deal with anxiety now. That's a really powerful realization.

In my case, I never had issues with insomnia until around 2009 after I had been on and off three antidepressants over the course of 2 years. I really think they messed with my brain chemistry and caused lots of physical issues, one being insomnia. I was given benzos to deal with it and would take them initially at 2 a.m. when I would awake. They would  sedate me enough so that I could fall back asleep.

Oh, I see what you are saying KristinM.  Yes, you look like a victim of anxiety because you were put on benzos.  This might be good news in your future.  Perhaps when you get past the Klonopin withdrawal, you will be completely free from all anxiety - since you didn't have it before the benzo?

I hope that will be true for you.

 

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GreenCup and Bob---So great that you're getting a handle on how calm your anxiety; wish I could say the same.  I got on benzos for anxiety, but the anxiety was an acute reaction to a family situation.  I had had chronic low level anxiety, though, that I didn't recognize as such until now, so I will have to deal with that, I'm sure.  No insomnia for me, though; I always slept really well before benzos, going right out and sleeping soundly for 8 straight hours.  It's crazy how different we all are.

 

Kristin---I'm glad you're doing better after the switches.  I think I will call Jennifer again this week; her schedule is on her website and you can just sign up for an available time.  I'm not sure she can keep all her "clients" straight, she has so many, lol, but that's okay.  She suffered from dp/dr for a long time, so it's nice to have her reassurance when mine gets really bad.

 

NJS and Kristin---It seems like you won't have a problem with anxiety after benzos if you didn't before.  Hallelujah!

 

Wishing everyone a good night's sleep!

 

 

 

 

 

[[Sc...]]

Interesting, Bob. I'm glad you figured out that your insomnia might have been the result of underlying anxiety, and that you are finding ways how to deal with anxiety now. That's a really powerful realization.

In my case, I never had issues with insomnia until around 2009 after I had been on and off three antidepressants over the course of 2 years. I really think they messed with my brain chemistry and caused lots of physical issues, one being insomnia. I was given benzos to deal with it and would take them initially at 2 a.m. when I would awake. They would  sedate me enough so that I could fall back asleep.

Hi Krysten,

I’m not in this group, unfortunately, but always looking for different peoples methods. You say you use a gram scale? Do you know how to dmt with it? Or just mt with it. I’m at a high dose 3.5 clonazapam per day, but cutting .25mg was much harder physically & psychologically than I thought, so am probably reinstating as I have important travel plans at months end, & am currently switching over to a new generic. Perhaps I could micro taper instead of cut & hold though.

Anyway, I’m horrible with cognitive stuff, so have never figured out the scale.

When & if your feeling well enough, would love input on it.

Hope you’re having a great day.

Love Scaredie

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  GreenCup---I read over what you said about anxiety again: "For the first time in a long long time, I know that this is actually temporary, and not my fault, and going to end someday."  What a beautiful epiphany!

 

I am lying on my sofa, remembering the summer after 8th grade, lying on the sofa, eating chocolate chip cookie dough and reading "Gone with the Wind." Not worrying about the future, not lamenting the past, I was perfectly content, perfectly relaxed, and fully absorbed in my own little world.  May I be so again.

 

I used my scale and syringes for the last time today to measure out the last 21 days of klonopin, the end of 26 years' use.  Approximately 10,000 days.  I woke up today feeling extremely agitated and irritable.  That passed and I felt goodish for a while.  Then I did too much and I crashed and dp/dr overcame me.  I know that I am not healed nor probably anywhere near it, but I can see the end of this poison and with that, a new beginning.

[[...]]

  GreenCup---I read over what you said about anxiety again: "For the first time in a long long time, I know that this is actually temporary, and not my fault, and going to end someday."  What a beautiful epiphany!

 

I am lying on my sofa, remembering the summer after 8th grade, lying on the sofa, eating chocolate chip cookie dough and reading "Gone with the Wind." Not worrying about the future, not lamenting the past, I was perfectly content, perfectly relaxed, and fully absorbed in my own little world.  May I be so again.

 

I used my scale and syringes for the last time today to measure out the last 21 days of klonopin, the end of 26 years' use.  Approximately 10,000 days.  I woke up today feeling extremely agitated and irritable.  That passed and I felt goodish for a while.  Then I did too much and I crashed and dp/dr overcame me.  I know that I am not healed nor probably anywhere near it, but I can see the end of this poison and with that, a new beginning.

Thank you for posting this.

You are father along on the Klonopin journey so I look to your progress to see where I might be headed.

You give me hope and it strengthens me so much.

 

[[Sc...]]

  GreenCup---I read over what you said about anxiety again: "For the first time in a long long time, I know that this is actually temporary, and not my fault, and going to end someday."  What a beautiful epiphany!

 

I am lying on my sofa, remembering the summer after 8th grade, lying on the sofa, eating chocolate chip cookie dough and reading "Gone with the Wind." Not worrying about the future, not lamenting the past, I was perfectly content, perfectly relaxed, and fully absorbed in my own little world.  May I be so again.

 

I used my scale and syringes for the last time today to measure out the last 21 days of klonopin, the end of 26 years' use.  Approximately 10,000 days.  I woke up today feeling extremely agitated and irritable.  That passed and I felt goodish for a while.  Then I did too much and I crashed and dp/dr overcame me.  I know that I am not healed nor probably anywhere near it, but I can see the end of this poison and with that, a new beginning.

I hope you feel better soon! You’re on your way, congrats!

[[NJ...]]

  GreenCup---I read over what you said about anxiety again: "For the first time in a long long time, I know that this is actually temporary, and not my fault, and going to end someday."  What a beautiful epiphany!

 

I am lying on my sofa, remembering the summer after 8th grade, lying on the sofa, eating chocolate chip cookie dough and reading "Gone with the Wind." Not worrying about the future, not lamenting the past, I was perfectly content, perfectly relaxed, and fully absorbed in my own little world.  May I be so again.

 

I used my scale and syringes for the last time today to measure out the last 21 days of klonopin, the end of 26 years' use.  Approximately 10,000 days.  I woke up today feeling extremely agitated and irritable.  That passed and I felt goodish for a while.  Then I did too much and I crashed and dp/dr overcame me.  I know that I am not healed nor probably anywhere near it, but I can see the end of this poison and with that, a new beginning.

 

Flibberty,

 

I hope your jump goes well. 26 years of use is a long time, I am not that far behind you. Best wishes for a smooth end. I am sure there will be some bumps, but hopefully all bearable.

[[fl...]]

Many thanks for all your good wishes!

 

GreenCup and NJS---I've been visiting the Medical Marijuana... Group and saw you over there.  I am kicking myself for not taking CBD oil more seriously until too late for my Ireland trip.  A friend gave me a little to take with me, but from what I'm reading, it really needs to build up in your system to work properly.  This one doesn't have THC and is designed specifically for sleep.  Any thoughts?  A drop at a time?  A full dose?  I think I only have two doses.  Leaving tomorrow.  Maybe they have CBD oil in Ireland...