Under .125 Klonopin Club

[[Gr...]]

Oh my Gosh, where is everybody?  I hope this means everyone is having lovely windows.  My symptoms are bearable right now but still not great.  I am finding that I am very very forgetful and it's getting a bit scary how little I remember to do.  I restart things over and over again, as if it was the first time, only to find I have done this exact thing before.  This is happening both with big and little things.

[[...]]

I am sorry to hear that GreenCup.  I call that brain fog.  I had it but not so bad.  I suffer more with anxiety.  I had to take a business trip to Las Vegas - it is 5 days long - it takes all my energy to stay stable- I cannot wait to get home.  It is a shame I cannot live in the moment and relax.

[[fl...]]

Hi to all.  My daughter and family went back to Brooklyn today.  We had a really good, healing visit overall.  It was shocking to me how extraordinarily sensitive my mind was to every comment, every nuance, every gesture, and how my body responded accordingly.  My husband and I and my son-in-law and daughter sat around and talked all evening a couple of days ago, and my daughter and son-in-law's commitment to my husband and me was made clear and it felt really good; I slept for 10 hours that night.  That's great, but I have to generate that feeling on my own.  I did A LOT while they were here and it was exhausting, but so worth it.  I am still having a lot of symptoms, one of the worst being dp/dr, but I'm just trying to ignore everything and stay positive and keep up with my healing endeavors: meditation, eating right, breathing, etc.

 

Greencup: I hope the brain fog lets up

 

Bob: Yes, me, too!  My goal is to be relaxed and live in the moment.  Good luck on your trip!

[[...]]

Hi Everyone,

 

Last week, I had to go to a week long business convention in Las Vegas.  I had to plan parts of it.  For two months before the trip, my anxiety was up.  Pretty much the whole week before the trip my mind was in "Anxiety Land".  The travel, the business meetings, everything was so hard when you suffer from withdrawal anxiety.

 

But I made it.  The grace of God is powerful.  There were many times I escaped having to do a public speech or too long of a day, but each time God seemed to give me an escape.  My speech was cancelled - not due to my fault - just rescheduling - and many times, I could escape back to my hotel room and rest.

 

This is my first day back home.  To survive the week long conference, I took Lunesta and Benedryl each night to sleep.  I don't want to be addicted to those drugs so last night I stopped them.  It took hours to fall asleep but when I did sleep, I did sleep better last night than I have in perhaps a month.

 

I am learning new ways to cope.  Exercise, plenty of sleep, breathing, mediation, and chamomile are all good tools. 

 

 

 

 

[[Gr...]]

Hey Bob-

 

Wow and congrats on successfully getting though that business convention!  What a stressful thing, to have your speech rescheduled over and over again.  That is so nerve-wracking.  I would be very careful with Lunesta, since it is a z-drug, but like you said, you stopped last night, so good for you. 

 

It sounds like a really trying week for you.  You definitely deserve some kind of reward for doing all that during benzo withdrawal.   

[[...]]

Hello everyone,

 

Today I am celebrating 100 days of continuous tapering at 0.001 mg per day.

 

I have 25 days to go to hit zero.

 

The first month of this taper was hard BUT the last month has been rather stable - I have anxiety but it isn't horrible - it really is just a problem because it harms my sleep.  Other than that, my symptoms are light - burping, some GI, some fatigue but that is due to poor sleep.

 

I will say that business trip last week wiped me out - still recovering from it.

 

I look forward to retirement - work seems to be a stress trigger for me.

 

Bob

[[Wo...]]

Hi everyone!

 

You all sound great!

 

I’m doing well. I walk off next Wednesday at .003!! I bought myself a beautiful handmade necklace from a jeweler friend that I will unwrap that night to celebrate my freedom.

 

I’ve started the keto diet and love the mental clarity and energy. Unfortunately, my body is swollen and I’ve gained weight and it’s not coming off despite the keto diet and tons of exercise. It’s just totally bizarre like someone else’s body. The last time I was this big was when I was pregnant (hips, thighs, butt). I am assuming this is a withdrawal scs and I have a dr appmt Thursday to check thyroid. I shouldn’t complain because so many other symptoms are gone but this does worry me to have so much bloating or water weight. Has anyone else has this experience?

 

Good night all and so glad we are getting to the finish line together! And yay Fibberty for such great news from the other side!!

 

 

[[Gr...]]

Wonderwoman - You are walking off next week!!!  Congratulations!!!  That's so exciting.  I love the necklace idea.  What a lovely present to yourself.  I hear you about the weight gain.  Keto diet is definitely the way to go.  I have found the near cuts, or a few months after, it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to lose weight.  Once a few months have passed though, I can lose weight again, though since I have been tapering, I have been gaining it back and then some.  Also there is just a lot of bloat that I'm not sure is actual weight to lose, maybe water weight?  I have at least 5 pound of that, maybe more.

 

I actually had a thyroid issue and took synthroid for six months and then got tested again and they told me to go off the synthroid.  I have always wondered why I always hear about people on these pills for life but my problem only lasted 6 months.  I do think that ALL psychiatric drugs can mess with your thyroid. 

 

 

[[...]]

Hi everyone!

 

You all sound great!

 

I’m doing well. I walk off next Wednesday at .003!! I bought myself a beautiful handmade necklace from a jeweler friend that I will unwrap that night to celebrate my freedom.

 

I’ve started the keto diet and love the mental clarity and energy. Unfortunately, my body is swollen and I’ve gained weight and it’s not coming off despite the keto diet and tons of exercise. It’s just totally bizarre like someone else’s body. The last time I was this big was when I was pregnant (hips, thighs, butt). I am assuming this is a withdrawal scs and I have a dr appmt Thursday to check thyroid. I shouldn’t complain because so many other symptoms are gone but this does worry me to have so much bloating or water weight. Has anyone else has this experience?

 

Good night all and so glad we are getting to the finish line together! And yay Fibberty for such great news from the other side!!

I too have found my body also does not respond to my weight control efforts during Benzo withdrawal.  It sucks.  I count every calorie.  Hold at 1500 calories a day.  Exercise every day.  But due to the benzo withdrawal, I have sometimes feel fatigue and even my best efforts get short circuited on some days (so I don't work out as hard or eat a little more for comfort).  It just takes a couple of bad days (poor eating, less exercise) to erase a whole week of solid exercise and calorie counting.  The body can store fat much easier than give it up.

 

[[Kr...]]

Hey everyone - it's been awhile, I know!  I'm still here...still tapering and recovering.  I think I've made a few tiny cuts since I posted last.  I'm down to .062. I have no plan for how long it will take to get off at this point.  I'm just going by how I feel and trying to stay functional.  I was in a pretty bad wave end of June into July but am feeling relatively stable again.  I'm better than I was last year at this time and like that I can see the progress I'm making despite the fact that it is very slow-going. 

 

Greencup - You said you were moving middle of August.  How's it going?  You've sounded positive in your posts.  I hope you are feeling good for the move!

 

Bob - Congrats on your continuous tapering!!  You're almost done.  I can imagine how difficult the work trip must have been for you and how you would be still recovering. 

 

Flibberty - Congrats on your jump!!!  I like your philosophy of staying positive and not giving too much attention to the symptoms.  That's how I've been functioning lately and it's helping.  Keep up with the healing endeavors!

 

WW - Wow!  .003 huh?  That's teeny tiny.  That's the little speck I add to my dosage when I'm just under.  I have to lick my finger to pick it up, haha.  I'm excited for you!  I hope you get some answers about your weight gain.  Maybe certain foods on the diet are causing the bloat?

[[Gr...]]

Hey Kristin!!!  Great to hear from you.  Oh we are on pretty much the same dosage right now.  I am at .060mg right now and holding until my move is over.  Things are coming together, albeit slowly.  I have to write everything down but luckily I have a lot of family support with the move, and my husband's parents are coming to help with packing.  Though the visit might be somewhat stressful, I find I am less stressed about them visiting and way more concerned about getting everything packed.

 

We will be moving in two weeks!!!  I am excited and trying to be more excited than nervous.  I have had a few bouts of "Omg, we bought the wrong house in the wrong area with the wrong everything"  lol.  I hope that's normal. 

 

I'm glad you are feeling some what stable now.  I also feel much better this summer than last summer.  For me, last summer was the beginning of a nightmare that I hope is ending soon, or maybe just did end?  It's so hard to tell sometimes. 

[[...]]

Hey everyone - it's been awhile, I know!  I'm still here...still tapering and recovering.  I think I've made a few tiny cuts since I posted last.  I'm down to .062. I have no plan for how long it will take to get off at this point.  I'm just going by how I feel and trying to stay functional.  I was in a pretty bad wave end of June into July but am feeling relatively stable again.  I'm better than I was last year at this time and like that I can see the progress I'm making despite the fact that it is very slow-going. 

 

Greencup - You said you were moving middle of August.  How's it going?  You've sounded positive in your posts.  I hope you are feeling good for the move!

 

Bob - Congrats on your continuous tapering!!  You're almost done.  I can imagine how difficult the work trip must have been for you and how you would be still recovering. 

 

Flibberty - Congrats on your jump!!!  I like your philosophy of staying positive and not giving too much attention to the symptoms.  That's how I've been functioning lately and it's helping.  Keep up with the healing endeavors!

 

WW - Wow!  .003 huh?  That's teeny tiny.  That's the little speck I add to my dosage when I'm just under.  I have to lick my finger to pick it up, haha.  I'm excited for you!  I hope you get some answers about your weight gain.  Maybe certain foods on the diet are causing the bloat?

Hi KristinM,

Good to hear from you and good to hear you are"relatively stable".  It is always hopeful to hear when someone gets a little better.

I seem to be struggling.  I took some Lunesta and Benedryl during my week long business trip and I have having trouble stabilizing.  Not horrible, just sleep issues mostly.

I don't want to stop my taper as it have be so steady until now.  That work week really seemed to screw me up.

Oh well, perhaps tomorrow I will be stable again. 

B

[[Kr...]]

Greencup - You sound so much better and that makes me happy!  It seems like you have a good handle on the stress involved in moving and I'm glad you have family support through it.  I think you are right that by focusing on the move you won't be as stressed about the visit.  It's all about where we put our thoughts and energy.  I think it will go great!!

 

Bob - I'm sorry to hear you are struggling.  Hopefully it's getting better. since you last posted.  It might be a little setback but I know you'll be good.  I just know it.  Once you find your sleep rhythm again you will be fine. 

 

WW - Thinking about you and your upcoming jump day!

 

I'm jealous of those of you who are able to exercise.  Although my energy has improved, I still can't even handle half-mile walks at this point.  Gentle yoga is about it for me at this point.  At least I'm not lying on the couch all day though!  I can clean and do errands without getting completely fatigued.  I just have to be very aware of my energy levels and not overdo it.  I usually lie down once a day for a longer nap or meditation.  I also have to sit 2-3 times a day for about 10 minutes each and consciously relax my body.  My muscles still tense up and it has nothing to do with stress...just physiological imbalances still.  It's getting better though.  I'm looking forward to the day where I can plan something and not have to worry about energy levels and symptoms!

[[...]]

Greencup - You sound so much better and that makes me happy!  It seems like you have a good handle on the stress involved in moving and I'm glad you have family support through it.  I think you are right that by focusing on the move you won't be as stressed about the visit.  It's all about where we put our thoughts and energy.  I think it will go great!!

 

Bob - I'm sorry to hear you are struggling.  Hopefully it's getting better. since you last posted.  It might be a little setback but I know you'll be good.  I just know it.  Once you find your sleep rhythm again you will be fine. 

 

WW - Thinking about you and your upcoming jump day!

 

I'm jealous of those of you who are able to exercise.  Although my energy has improved, I still can't even handle half-mile walks at this point.  Gentle yoga is about it for me at this point.  At least I'm not lying on the couch all day though!  I can clean and do errands without getting completely fatigued.  I just have to be very aware of my energy levels and not overdo it.  I usually lie down once a day for a longer nap or meditation.  I also have to sit 2-3 times a day for about 10 minutes each and consciously relax my body.  My muscles still tense up and it has nothing to do with stress...just physiological imbalances still.  It's getting better though.  I'm looking forward to the day where I can plan something and not have to worry about energy levels and symptoms!

 

Thanks KristinM - You were right - my sleep is improving - getting back to where I was.  I actually think it was my blood pressure medication giving me insomnia - well, the blood pressure medication probably justs made the Klonopin withdrawal more intense.

 

I am sorry you have trouble exercising.

 

Back when I was at my worse, I bought a fitbit.  I tried to walk a little more each day, monitoring the steps with the fitbit.  This helped me in two ways. 

First, it helped me increase a little each day on most days and the exercise really helps stop the withdrawal - at least for a while.  But also, as I added more steps, I felt accomplishment and it encouraged me greatly.  I felt real good about each new level of steps - even if it was only a few more steps.

 

Anyway, for what it is worth, that is what helped me.

B

[[Wo...]]

Hi everyone hi Kristen!

 

I took my second to last dose today. I’m not measuring it’s just a speck. I am nervous and excited. I wonder how my body will react?

 

I’ll let you all know!

 

❤️❤️❤️❤️

[[Gr...]]

  WW-  Good luck!

 

I said I was going to hold, but I lied and I made a tiny cut.  I only cut to .005mg to .055mg a day.  Tiny cut, and I don't feel it really.  Medicinal marijuana has been a livesaver for me.  Helps me to stop negative thinking and to sleep.  I still can't seem to make it through the whole night, sleeping soundly, most nights, but I'm getting about six solid hours and then another broken hour of light sleep, so that is some big progress. 

 

Kristin- I am doing the same with my energy.  It's really so much the same for me.  And if I do too much, it is so obvious and I get a migraine and nauseous and feel dizzy and the rest of my day is shot and maybe even the next day.  I have to be so careful with everything I do.

 

Bob- I have a fitbit but I stopped wearing it, but now that you said it, I might start wearing it again.  I was much more motivated when I wore my fitbit, but I took it off because it started to depress me about how much I wasn't able to do. 

[[...]]

  WW-  Good luck!

 

I said I was going to hold, but I lied and I made a tiny cut.  I only cut to .005mg to .055mg a day.  Tiny cut, and I don't feel it really.  Medicinal marijuana has been a livesaver for me.  Helps me to stop negative thinking and to sleep.  I still can't seem to make it through the whole night, sleeping soundly, most nights, but I'm getting about six solid hours and then another broken hour of light sleep, so that is some big progress. 

 

Kristin- I am doing the same with my energy.  It's really so much the same for me.  And if I do too much, it is so obvious and I get a migraine and nauseous and feel dizzy and the rest of my day is shot and maybe even the next day.  I have to be so careful with everything I do.

 

Bob- I have a fitbit but I stopped wearing it, but now that you said it, I might start wearing it again.  I was much more motivated when I wore my fitbit, but I took it off because it started to depress me about how much I wasn't able to do.

Green Cup - I know the feeling of being disappointed about how much we are not able to do.

 

Here is a thought.  Consider this a hitting a rock bottom moment.  It can only get better.  Do a very short walk with your fitbit as your rock bottom number of steps.  Then try to climb out of it by doing a little more each week.  The exercise will force your body back to normal as you slowly rid your system of the benzo poison.  Just a thought to get started.  I know - IT IS SO HARD TO GET STARTED - but put some music in your ear or a book on tape to distract yourself and go for a walk - right at sunset.

 

Best of luck to you.

 

 

[[Gr...]]

Argh, got so sick to my stomach last night and I'm not sure what caused it.  My in-laws are here and packing up stuff and G(husband) thinks I should tell them about benzo withdrawal.  I'm sure I have before, but ya know, I really don't know what to say to them.  I'm not sure it would help at all.  I think it might just be looked at as an excuse.  Ugh. 

 

My stomach is still very tender and I think it might be because I overdid it yesterday,which is frustrating, cause I don't even think I did very much compared to what my in-laws are doing towards packing.  I also need to tell them that I can't be cooking for them, for their whole visit.  It's too much work. 

[[...]]

Argh, got so sick to my stomach last night and I'm not sure what caused it.  My in-laws are here and packing up stuff and G(husband) thinks I should tell them about benzo withdrawal.  I'm sure I have before, but ya know, I really don't know what to say to them.  I'm not sure it would help at all.  I think it might just be looked at as an excuse.  Ugh. 

 

My stomach is still very tender and I think it might be because I overdid it yesterday,which is frustrating, cause I don't even think I did very much compared to what my in-laws are doing towards packing.  I also need to tell them that I can't be cooking for them, for their whole visit.  It's too much work.

Hi green cup-I can totally see why this would be trumatic for you-it would be nice if they totally understood your situation-you would get much peace from that-but I know it’s hard to share this type of information. I imagine your husband could share it on your behalf.

[[...]]

Hello friends,

 

I have tapered at 0.001 mg reduction each day for 112 days now.  Only 13 days to go and I’ll be at zero Klonopin.

 

I have seen an increase in my withdrawal symptoms recently but I have fought back by exercising harder.  I would say that until I’ve had my daily exercise I am suffering but after exercise I am so much better for the rest the day.

 

The other symptom which is gotten worse recently is insomnia. I fight back with Chamomile Extract and decaffeinated green tea and guided meditations and aspirin and Advil.

 

Next week could be a difficult one at work but God’s grace rescues me every time -  I must keep my faith.

 

Bob

 

[[Gr...]]

I'm teetering at the line of overdoing it this evening.  I feel like I could lie down and sleep for the night right now.  Things with my in-laws seems better.  I didn't mention benzos but I'm not keeping it a secret either.  I am trying to speak up more and just say what I can and cannot do. 

 

Last night I actually slept pretty good.  Only waking a few times in the night, but able to get back to sleep pretty quickly. 

 

Bob- I'm glad that works for you, cause doing more when I feel bad has really backfired for me, unless it is anxiety or anger- those feelings actually are much better if I try to use them up in exercise. 

[[Sc...]]

Hello friends,

 

I have tapered at 0.001 mg reduction each day for 112 days now.  Only 13 days to go and I’ll be at zero Klonopin.

 

I have seen an increase in my withdrawal symptoms recently but I have fought back by exercising harder.  I would say that until I’ve had my daily exercise I am suffering but after exercise I am so much better for the rest the day.

 

The other symptom which is gotten worse recently is insomnia. I fight back with Chamomile Extract and decaffeinated green tea and guided meditations and aspirin and Advil.

 

Next week could be a difficult one at work but God’s grace rescues me every time -  I must keep my faith.

 

Bob

You’re a true inspiration, Bob. Hope your withdrawal sxs continue to get better. Congrats on all you’ve accomplished & the example you set for us that have a long road ahead. May I ask how do the aspirin & Advil help insomnia? Do you take them together? What about the tea & the extract, do you safely combine those? Thanks Bob, SC

[[...]]

Hello friends,

 

I have tapered at 0.001 mg reduction each day for 112 days now.  Only 13 days to go and I’ll be at zero Klonopin.

 

I have seen an increase in my withdrawal symptoms recently but I have fought back by exercising harder.  I would say that until I’ve had my daily exercise I am suffering but after exercise I am so much better for the rest the day.

 

The other symptom which is gotten worse recently is insomnia. I fight back with Chamomile Extract and decaffeinated green tea and guided meditations and aspirin and Advil.

 

Next week could be a difficult one at work but God’s grace rescues me every time -  I must keep my faith.

 

Bob

You’re a true inspiration, Bob. Hope your withdrawal sxs continue to get better. Congrats on all you’ve accomplished & the example you set for us that have a long road ahead. May I ask how do the aspirin & Advil help insomnia? Do you take them together? What about the tea & the extract, do you safely combine those? Thanks Bob, SC

I find the decaffeinate green tea takes away my generalize anxiety.

I find the Chamomile extract (or even Chamomile tea) helps me sleep.

I think the aspirin or advil help me stay asleep.  Must do something to my brain.

 

[[Kr...]]

WW - How are you?

 

Greencup - I'm thinking good thoughts for you.  I know how difficult it is to try to act "well" around others when you are fading.  I hope you can find space to honor your body.  Easier said than done. I overdid it this week as well.  My kids started school and there was all kinds of hoopla with that, and then I took a temp job on Friday because I had been doing better recently, and I'm just dealing with a lot of personal challenges, but aren't we all.  Just relating to you because overdoing it this week brought all my nerve stuff is back today.  I'm hoping it will die down soon.

 

Bob - Woot woot for 13 more days!  I hope next week goes well for you at work with whatever challenges you might face.  What are your withdrawal symptoms that are helped by pushing your body harder?  Just curious if it's more psychological symptoms or physical.  I've found that gentle movement definitely helps with some of my physical symptoms but it's a very fine line for me.  Like Greencup, I can't push it because that only worsens my fatigue and physical symptoms.

 

Have you guys watched the documentary Unrest on Netflix?  It shows the experience of a woman suffering from ME (extreme chronic fatigue, can't remember the medical term and too lazy to look it up) and attempts to bring awareness to all of those suffering with the invisible illness.  It was quite poignant and all this talk about exercise reminded me of something from that documentary.  She would often collapse and be in bed for months if she did too much.  It was interesting because they had monitored her on some kind of treadmill stress test where her body would be fine if she stayed at one level but there was a point where her body would almost give out if she crossed that threshold.  And it was very subtle.  It wasn't like going from jogging to sprinting or anything. More like walking at 5mph to 5.1mph.  That's kind of how I feel.  My fatigue is nowhere near as severe as hers but I relate to having a point of no return. There is a very subtle energy dynamic going on of which I am keenly aware.  It's not about motivation. There's nothing more I would love to do than go for a run to burn off some of this nerve stuff.  Unfortunately that would just land me flat on my back.  I look forward to the day I can run again but my running will be different.  I think my lesson lies more in not pushing myself when I'm feeling bad.  I think I did that for too long prior to my taper.  Exercise became a distraction from my feelings. 

[[...]]

WW - How are you?

 

Greencup - I'm thinking good thoughts for you.  I know how difficult it is to try to act "well" around others when you are fading.  I hope you can find space to honor your body.  Easier said than done. I overdid it this week as well.  My kids started school and there was all kinds of hoopla with that, and then I took a temp job on Friday because I had been doing better recently, and I'm just dealing with a lot of personal challenges, but aren't we all.  Just relating to you because overdoing it this week brought all my nerve stuff is back today.  I'm hoping it will die down soon.

 

Bob - Woot woot for 13 more days!  I hope next week goes well for you at work with whatever challenges you might face.  What are your withdrawal symptoms that are helped by pushing your body harder?  Just curious if it's more psychological symptoms or physical.  I've found that gentle movement definitely helps with some of my physical symptoms but it's a very fine line for me.  Like Greencup, I can't push it because that only worsens my fatigue and physical symptoms.

 

Have you guys watched the documentary Unrest on Netflix?  It shows the experience of a woman suffering from ME (extreme chronic fatigue, can't remember the medical term and too lazy to look it up) and attempts to bring awareness to all of those suffering with the invisible illness.  It was quite poignant and all this talk about exercise reminded me of something from that documentary.  She would often collapse and be in bed for months if she did too much.  It was interesting because they had monitored her on some kind of treadmill stress test where her body would be fine if she stayed at one level but there was a point where her body would almost give out if she crossed that threshold.  And it was very subtle.  It wasn't like going from jogging to sprinting or anything. More like walking at 5mph to 5.1mph.  That's kind of how I feel.  My fatigue is nowhere near as severe as hers but I relate to having a point of no return. There is a very subtle energy dynamic going on of which I am keenly aware.  It's not about motivation. There's nothing more I would love to do than go for a run to burn off some of this nerve stuff.  Unfortunately that would just land me flat on my back.  I look forward to the day I can run again but my running will be different.  I think my lesson lies more in not pushing myself when I'm feeling bad.  I think I did that for too long prior to my taper.  Exercise became a distraction from my feelings.

Hi KristinM,

I read what you wrote with great interest. I can totally relate to your statement that I use exercise as a distraction from my nerves and my feelings and my anxiety.  I guess that answers the question you asked. My withdrawal problems are more emotional and mental than physical-except for the fatigue which is due to insomnia.