Updosing Support Group

[[Ca...]]

so, should i go up to the 4.0 mg of ativan ?  instead of updosing at 3.50?  i will wait weeks and months, if needed. but, how will i know if it's not working?  also, is it normal to still have brain /cog / dizziness issues white updosing?  (almost feels like i am still tapering).  i am scared.  i can tell you that. as i don't have anyone in my life.  no family , friend, alone and 65.  with will health.  and my pshc Nurse Practioner. i am not sure she always knows best.  she is the one the forced a taper on me a month after that 3 day rehab.    so, to all you dear BB, please, will you tell me my CNS will heal and will you please pray for me.  and, SHOULD i go up to the 4 as recommened by the psych nurse practioner.  of just stay at 3.5 now?  since this will be day 6 of it.  and, is seroquel NOT adivsed or advised at this point.  i am kind of afraid it might damage my brain, i feel she prescribed it because she thinks i might be out of control with my fear.     

[[Ca...]]

oh,also, please, i will read Baylyssa.  thankyou.    and, one more question, please, what if this updose doesn't work or fails?  how will i know?  and how will i then proceed??  this is so very important for me to know these answers because if i don't have an answer my poor brain makes up the answers and make up things for me to get scared about.  so, some solid facts from people like you who have been through this and are experienced and wise,  please tell me how i will know if my updose of 3.5  has failed?    i hope it doesn't.  but,  my mind worries and wanders.  i will think posiitive, but, today, just know i am still feeling weak and shaky and cog fog and CNS weary.  (did the 3 day rehab and month-later forced taper (which i tried to do for almost 4 months, but, was becoming more and more unstable and non functional an sick) really cause my CNS to be unstable?  and, if so, how can i help stabalize it.  i know, eating right, of course, but, i can't always do that, because i have GI issues and esophogus problems, i do try, though. (no appetite).  but, my eyes are so blurry it makes it hard to sit with a book and read. (i have MGDisorder of the eyes).  most of my health issues were probably brought on by 10 years of ativan use.  and, please tell me if being on ativan 10 years, AM I REALLY GOING TO BE ABLE TO GET OFF OF IT?      (i also must confess, i am so desperate  to get off this drug, i almost put myself back in rehab, just to get it out of my system in 4 days).      SHOULD I GO UP TO 4 mg in my updose, or stay the course at 3.5 now. (day 6).  and should i stop seroquel?  THANKYOU> 

[[NJ...]]

Cathy I don’t know if anyone can definitely answer your question. I have always stabilized from an up dose. Others haven’t and have gritted their teeth and got off and are now doing fine. Everyone’s journey is different. If you can try to distract and put the fear aside you should feel better. I know it is hard but I know for me just pushing through really helps.

[[Ca...]]

Cathy I don’t know if anyone can definitely answer your question. I have always stabilized from an up dose. Others haven’t and have gritted their teeth and got off and are now doing fine. Everyone’s journey is different. If you can try to distract and put the fear aside you should feel better. I know it is hard but I know for me just pushing through really helps.

 

 

how long did it take you to feel better on your updose, NJ?  weeks, months.  and should i go up to 4mg or stay at 3.5?  i have health anxiety and it's not easy to distract when i am dizzy and weak and can't see well. i am 65, not as easy for me to distract and get around.          should i stay on seroquel, does anyone know?  thankyou for your answer, NJ.  and, if my updose doesn't work, what is my next option, please?  i will give it a month more, please i wish i wasn't this way.

[[Ca...]]

Cathy,

Just about every question could have 2 opposite answers at this point...

Thats why we have to be very careful of being prescriptive, or “leading” with our posts..

Its not just being over cautious... We really can all be THAT different..

But often things will unfold and get clearer.. Right now you have had some big changes, so there isnt much solid ground for answers or decisive decisions, other than what you feel is best.. Your “gut” feelings can often hold a lot of value, though we have to watch the effects of health anxiety, panic, or fear, etc, too..

 

Ok, so some of us might be able to read between the lines a bit, and have a pretty good guess at whats going on... But speaking for myself, I would more give a “caution” if one were to make what I felt was a “risky” or “unusual” decision...

-Poor Val knows how reluctant I am to suggest a specific or exact dose or time frame..

 

I guess for an updose, I could say a few hours to a few weeks... But that could be a few months, or only a partial help, or not at all, or worse...  Someone who simply cut to much in an otherwise ok taper might be very different (or not) to someone who really shook themselves up with big sudden changes, complete discontinuations, and/or CTs.. But even the latter doesnt guarantee a harder time by any means..

 

Were It Me, I would give it another week, and then reassess... But on the other hand, If things felt particularly bad or dangerous, I would consider responding to that with a sooner change...

 

So Im assuming your Dr will be ok with a continued supply of a higher dose, even if you end up being one that needs to taper particularly slowly...?? (Though my hope is you wont have to go too slow)..

-We just dont know at this point...

 

I have to sleep, But I trust others here to correct any “brain fog” thoughts I had.. 

 

***

Sorry, I see there are new posts while I was texting..

 

[[NJ...]]

My uodises have taken up to two weeks to feel a full effect. In terms of if this doesn’t work what are your options that is really up to you and your doctor. As can’t said you will likely have a better sense once you feel better. I don’t know anything about seroquel. Do you have the support of a good doctor? I know how hard it is in the moment when everything feels like it is falling apart. Can’t saw enough of my posts like that. But it won’t be like this every day. Perhaps reading some success stories would help?

[[va...]]

Cathymp I'm so sorry you're in so much pain. Nobody is going to make the decision for you whether to updose or not. You have to decide for yourself I'm afraid. Cantfly said he would personally hold for now with no more changes. Whatever you decide, it's better if you stick with it for two weeks at least to see if it worked. I understand that you're too sick to put a signature with your history, so please remind us from what dose you came off when you were sent to rehab and how long ago was that?

 

About the seroquel. A lot of people here take it for sleep. I would never recommend any medication and nobody is going to encourage you with that. I was begging on my knees for someone to tell me if I should or shouldn't take gabapentin. Nobody would make that suggestion because these drugs all have a downside and some risks. Type "seroquel" in the search tool and reach your own conclusions. Search for Gardener's progress log. I know she takes it for sleep, along with many others. And many say it was very bad, that's why no one is going to recommend it. It's a personal decision.

[[va...]]

And Cathymp, watch some "neighbor bob" youtube videos. They guy CTd from klonopin after 15 years. In my darkest nights I would listen to him all night, and another kid who cold turkeyd called "ANT.. some numbers". Stick to the positive benzo videos. Don't you dare peep into the negative horror stories or I'll have to go and spank you.

[[Ca...]]

I have updosed this is day 6 , with no relief.  from 2.75 to 3 .50.    this is an answer to someone that asked it.  i was CT and the forced taper.  my CNS is destabalized. i  tried to taper for 4 months until 6 days ago when updose. i was falling apart.  i coun't function. not bathe, nothing.  so, i am just asking, when will this UPDOSE i am on kick in and help a bit?  please. 

 

 

Hi, I am not tapering anymore, i was i had to quit to do an updose from 2.75 to 3.50.  and the updose has not kicked in yet, been 6 days. i still feel the same as if i were tapering. and i feel ripped off.  i thought an updose was meant to help??  i feel stuck in limbo.    My CNS was badly destabalized and so i did updose,  but, i don't feel any better than when i was tapering.     and i am still having trouble functioning. if i were to do yard work, i would keel over, that's how sick i am.   and my eyes are so blurry, i can't play scrabble or crosswords.  please, anyone, do you know when the Updose will help.  and what if it doesn't. then what.

Modify message

 

 

[[NJ...]]

Cathy,

 

I wish I could help you. You can always consider taking more and seeing if it helps There is likely no harm to trying more, think of it as a "rescue dose." I can't guarantee though that it would work. It is different for everyone. If you are really sick you may want to consider calling your doctor or going to the hospital.

 

I am sorry you are so unwell. Again, everyone is different, if you look through benzobuddies there are people who can taper fairly easily and some who have been sick for years.

[[Ca...]]

so, a rescue dose and an updose can be taken at the same time, please?  i am sorry i am so messed in the head.  i have more head problems than physical ones.  my suffering is mental.    please when should i take an updose in conjunction with an updose?

like right now, if i wanted to take 5 mg all at once? do you mean?  and if i then go back down to 3.5 my body won't freak out and go into acute WD?

 

[[NJ...]]

An updose is moving your dose to a new level so the opposite of tapering.

 

A rescue dose is a one-off increase in dose.

 

Cathy, I have no experience with your drug. I thought your dosage was 3.5 mg a day. If that is the case, then taking 5 mg all at once seems like too much, that would mean you would be taking 8.5 mg today, I don't even know if that is safe. With my K I will occasionally take an extra .25 or .5 and it doesn't hurt me. That is me. My normal dose is .75.

 

That's the only advice I have for you. As I mentioned yesterday, so people also front load an updose. I don't know what will help you.

 

Maybe you want to post in another section of the board under withdrawal support for other opinions.

 

 

[[NJ...]]

cathy,

 

this is the first post ever in this group. I think nova says a lot of good things in here that may help you.

 

Hi all 

 

 

I've started a support  as there's is quiet a few of us on here that have had to up-dosed or recently, or are seriously  considering it, and other than posting all over the forum there's no actual support for those of us who have actually done it, or want to try it. And  If you do post regarding up-dosing your more likely to get frighted off by  people who haven't tried it giving negative replies out of fear of what they've read with no actual personal experience, or they did it as a one off and it never worked.

 

 

Or they took a tiny insignificant dose that would never had worked as it was way too low to be of any help.  I up-dosed just over 10 weeks ago and am still cycling with symptoms. People also need to know that  as it can commonly  take anything  from a few weeks up to a few months to stabilise. Its not often you get relief in a matter of days, and most people don't hold the up-dose long enough for it to work, and some peole will actually feel worse before they feel better that's another common factor.

 

 

And sometimes you may feel your going backwards before you establish stability too, you have to have patience and hang in there. I've had some oh my God WTF !! days then the next, day has been really good, as  its not linear while you wait to stabilise, it still shocks me how things can turn around for no logical reason I can find anyway.

 

 

And you will still get waves  before you stabilise, that's another reason people think the updose has gone wrong as they expect instant stability or at the very  least 3 days then it should  work. That not true, in most cases it takes a longer time time, I was I a mess at  3.45mg and barely surviving  struggling to get under 4mg for the last 2 years and couldn't taper no more so up-dosed back to 5mg where I was last in January 2015, on November 19th 2016.

 

 

 

My original dose was 20mg and it took me along time to get down from there as I was also taken CT off other Benzos and high doses of all sorts of poly drugs. I'm having some good, bad, okay and hell days still so I'm not stabilised yet so will continue holding here, if I feel in a few months I need to updose again I will do so, If I feel I am able to cut then I will cut. I've been housebound in agony for most of the last two years, so I had to change tactics. I hope this group will be of help to sort out the myths, repeated fear with no substance, except people who get scared to try anything different to help their self  by what they read.

 

 

 

I myself fell into that camp before I decided to be the master of my own fate and that if I didn't try I would never know what will or won't help me, there is no one size fits all or any guarantees about anything in life, and we can't gage ourselves by others. Everything and anything is maybe it will or won't work for us situation but only we can know that by trying it for ourselves.

 

 

I am not putting myself forward as some expert,  I no no more or less than anyone else I'm  just another soul trying to find their way out of the suffering we're all going through, and I've chosen to updose. I live alone with no help or support and if I can't function then I can't survive, I'm hoping for at least 30% better or more than I am now. I can cope with discomfort, but I can't cope with being physically and mentally disabled any longer and do nothing to try make it better, I know it takes time but it takes trying something too if you possibly can at anytime.

[[Ca...]]

An updose is moving your dose to a new level so the opposite of tapering.

 

A rescue dose is a one-off increase in dose.

 

Cathy, I have no experience with your drug. I thought your dosage was 3.5 mg a day. If that is the case, then taking 5 mg all at once seems like too much, that would mean you would be taking 8.5 mg today, I don't even know if that is safe. With my K I will occasionally take an extra .25 or .5 and it doesn't hurt me. That is me. My normal dose is .75.

 

That's the only advice I have for you. As I mentioned yesterday, so people also front load an updose. I don't know what

 

 

 

will help you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

ok, so i WAS until 6 days ago tapering ativan 2.75  mg  (1 ativan = 10 valium).  then i was getting sicker and sicker for the past few months from CTurkey and forced taper. became destablized and non functioning.  i am like Nova, i have only me to take care of  me, i have no support or family.  but,  not, i would not be taking 8 mg.  my UPDOSE as of 6 days ago is 3.5  (up from 2.75 taper , which i am sad i had to abandon).  so, i am taking 3.5 PER day, divided into 4 doses.  1 mg a.m.  1 mg. pm.  .75 mg  6 pm and .75 mg 11pm.  so,  i wouldn't  be taking 8 mg. no way.  so,  if i am already 6 days into updose (not a very big one and is it big enough to help me???  2.75-  3.50 updose).  is it wise or not wise to do a front load.  also, does anyone know if my updose is large enough to help me, because I DON"T FEEL ANY BETTER , maybe worse.  and, if i would have known an updose was gonig to feel so  much like tapering and make me feel just as bad if not worse, I WOULD NEVER HAVE DONE it.  unless, 6 days is too soon.  but, i will keep at it.  BUT, i am sad and bewildered, i feel like i am in early days of tapering back in march.

 

Maybe you want to post in another section of the board under withdrawal support for other opinions.

[[va...]]

An updose is moving your dose to a new level so the opposite of tapering.

 

A rescue dose is a one-off increase in dose.

 

Cathy, I have no experience with your drug. I thought your dosage was 3.5 mg a day. If that is the case, then taking 5 mg all at once seems like too much, that would mean you would be taking 8.5 mg today, I don't even know if that is safe. With my K I will occasionally take an extra .25 or .5 and it doesn't hurt me. That is me. My normal dose is .75.

 

That's the only advice I have for you. As I mentioned yesterday, so people also front load an updose. I don't know what

 

 

 

will help you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

ok, so i WAS until 6 days ago tapering ativan 2.75  mg  (1 ativan = 10 valium).  then i was getting sicker and sicker for the past few months from CTurkey and forced taper. became destablized and non functioning.  i am like Nova, i have only me to take care of  me, i have no support or family.  but,  not, i would not be taking 8 mg.  my UPDOSE as of 6 days ago is 3.5  (up from 2.75 taper , which i am sad i had to abandon).  so, i am taking 3.5 PER day, divided into 4 doses.  1 mg a.m.  1 mg. pm.  .75 mg  6 pm and .75 mg 11pm.  so,  i wouldn't  be taking 8 mg. no way.  so,  if i am already 6 days into updose (not a very big one and is it big enough to help me???  2.75-  3.50 updose).  is it wise or not wise to do a front load.  also, does anyone know if my updose is large enough to help me, because I DON"T FEEL ANY BETTER , maybe worse.  and, if i would have known an updose was gonig to feel so  much like tapering and make me feel just as bad if not worse, I WOULD NEVER HAVE DONE it.  unless, 6 days is too soon.  but, i will keep at it.  BUT, i am sad and bewildered, i feel like i am in early days of tapering back in march.

 

Maybe you want to post in another section of the board under withdrawal support for other opinions.

 

Hi Cathymp. When was the CT and what dose of ativan did you CT from?

[[NJ...]]

An updose is moving your dose to a new level so the opposite of tapering.

 

A rescue dose is a one-off increase in dose.

 

Cathy, I have no experience with your drug. I thought your dosage was 3.5 mg a day. If that is the case, then taking 5 mg all at once seems like too much, that would mean you would be taking 8.5 mg today, I don't even know if that is safe. With my K I will occasionally take an extra .25 or .5 and it doesn't hurt me. That is me. My normal dose is .75.

 

That's the only advice I have for you. As I mentioned yesterday, so people also front load an updose. I don't know what

 

 

 

will help you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

ok, so i WAS until 6 days ago tapering ativan 2.75  mg  (1 ativan = 10 valium).  then i was getting sicker and sicker for the past few months from CTurkey and forced taper. became destablized and non functioning.  i am like Nova, i have only me to take care of  me, i have no support or family.  but,  not, i would not be taking 8 mg.  my UPDOSE as of 6 days ago is 3.5  (up from 2.75 taper , which i am sad i had to abandon).  so, i am taking 3.5 PER day, divided into 4 doses.  1 mg a.m.  1 mg. pm.  .75 mg  6 pm and .75 mg 11pm.  so,  i wouldn't  be taking 8 mg. no way.  so,  if i am already 6 days into updose (not a very big one and is it big enough to help me???  2.75-  3.50 updose).  is it wise or not wise to do a front load.  also, does anyone know if my updose is large enough to help me, because I DON"T FEEL ANY BETTER , maybe worse.  and, if i would have known an updose was gonig to feel so  much like tapering and make me feel just as bad if not worse, I WOULD NEVER HAVE DONE it.  unless, 6 days is too soon.  but, i will keep at it.  BUT, i am sad and bewildered, i feel like i am in early days of tapering back in march.

 

Maybe you want to post in another section of the board under withdrawal support for other opinions.

 

Cathy,

 

I think if you read nova's original post she mentions that sometimes the updose is too small, and that it can take a while to take effect. I know it is agony waiting. That is probably why I have never successfully been able to reduce my dose much. Hope others chime in.

 

[[Ca...]]

so should i go up to 4 mg???  if the 3.5 updose is not working, please??

[[...]]

Cathy,

I read a post from you from 7/13 stating that you up dosed to 4mg. Then on the 15th it was 3.75mg. Now it is 3.5mg. You may have to go up more and wait! This does not happen overnight as most of us here have told you. You need to find a dose and stick with it. Again, it can take weeks or a month or so to feel better. A lot of us have had that experience. Remember that you were C/T, forced taper and then tried to taper. No wonder you brain is in turmoil. I have been in the agony you are in and had to up dose and not regretted it once. The goal is Stabilize, wait and only then, start a taper very slowly.

Many here are trying to help you. 

[[va...]]

Cathy,

I read a post from you from 7/13 stating that you up dosed to 4mg. Then on the 15th it was 3.75mg. Now it is 3.5mg. You may have to go up more and wait! This does not happen overnight as most of us here have told you. You need to find a dose and stick with it. Again, it can take weeks or a month or so to feel better. A lot of us have had that experience. Remember that you were C/T, forced taper and then tried to taper. No wonder you brain is in turmoil. I have been in the agony you are in and had to up dose and not regretted it once. The goal is Stabilize, wait and only then, start a taper very slowly.

Many here are trying to help you.

 

Dana, do you by chance know what does Cathymp was on when she was CTd? That could tell us how far she is now from her original dose.

[[...]]

I believe it was 3mg. After a C/T is usually best to up dose higher than the original dose. I know for me I needed to reinstate to 4mg which the Dr wanted. I went ahead and reinstated lower than the original dose and then tapered. Big mistake. Ended up having to up dose anyway. Live and learn.

[[va...]]

I believe it was 3mg. After a C/T is usually best to up dose higher than the original dose. I know for me I needed to reinstate to 4mg which the Dr wanted. I went ahead and reinstated lower than the original dose and then tapered. Big mistake. Ended up having to up dose anyway. Live and learn.

 

I tapered down to 1 mg but was slammed with acute wds as if I had CTd, maybe I was going too fast. It has been agony. I updosed to 1.40. Waited one month. Didn't work. Updosed to 2.50!! (from 1.40  ) . Finally started to feel some relief. Bad waves still, but I feel human half the time again. So imagine what a big updose. I'll never understand these drugs. Now I've lost ground of 1.5 mgs that had already been tapered.

[[...]]

I believe it was 3mg. After a C/T is usually best to up dose higher than the original dose. I know for me I needed to reinstate to 4mg which the Dr wanted. I went ahead and reinstated lower than the original dose and then tapered. Big mistake. Ended up having to up dose anyway. Live and learn.

 

I tapered down to 1 mg but was slammed with acute wds as if I had CTd, maybe I was going too fast. It has been agony. I updosed to 1.40. Waited one month. Didn't work. Updosed to 2.50!! (from 1.40  ) . Finally started to feel some relief. Bad waves still, but I feel human half the time again. So imagine what a big updose. I'll never understand these drugs. Now I've lost ground of 1.5 mgs that had already been tapered.

 

 

 

I can tell you that it is not worth rushing a taper. I have been there. Slow and steady is the best and safest way IMO. Valium, you did not lose ground. Don't beat yourself up over that. You will get off and you will feel normal again. The fact that you feel better says something. The up dose worked. The best thing to do is stabilize and then do a very slow taper. I think most people here would love to be off right now, including myself, but that is not realistic. These are the only drugs that I have heard of being such hell to get off of. I never took medications of any-kind, before all of this. Just the Estradiol patch which started this whole mess. I try to look ahead and not relive the past. Very hard to do at times. One day we will be writing our success story!  

[[NJ...]]

Dana,

 

Thanks for chiming in here and sharing your story. I am beginning to feel like a failure as I feel I will never get off but I look at your signature and history, you still have hope, you are getting it done. Slow and steady, you are definitely right on with that advice.

[[va...]]

Hi Dana, NJ, Cathymp...

 

THANK YOU Dana. I feel better when you say I didn't lose ground. Well maybe when I was on 1.40 if I hadn't messed everything up with rescue doses of different benzos, I could've stabilized. But I was crazy because the pain was so intense it was literally driving me crazy. Amazing that after such a huge updose I'm not stable again. It could be, some tell me, due to all the rescue doses I took. They could be the culprits. Apart from the trauma of one month in acute wd (my brain felt it was going to blow out of my skull any moment). At the end, it's more important for me to get stable and be able to function that to come off the drug. At least until my daughter has been put through college (and she's only 13). After that I don't care being homebound for two years, but can't afford that now. Praying every day that it doesn't happen. I have accepted to take gabapentin and trazodone.Yes yes very bad I know and I'm also scared of those drugs. But I was going to go crazy or do something crazy. The thing is, I'm sleeping after two months of one, two hours sleep a day. I have a few bad nights a week but no longer most nights. And the sleep I feel makes me have less intense fear during the day too. Really, the point is no longer getting off fast. The point is being functional, as much as possible. My biggest fear is ending up in hospital for some other ailment and that doctors take me off the medication or give me ativan or something like that.

[[...]]

Dana,

 

Thanks for chiming in here and sharing your story. I am beginning to feel like a failure as I feel I will never get off but I look at your signature and history, you still have hope, you are getting it done. Slow and steady, you are definitely right on with that advice.

 

NJ,

 

You are certainly not a failure. You will get off. I believe your Mom broke her hip? These life stressors, we can't avoid and have no control of. Over the years, my Mom had a stroke, breast cancer, fell and had to go to rehab.I finally moved her up to where I live and that has helped a lot.  I have a brother who now lives in an ALF due to COPD, stroke etc. It seemed like every time I wanted to start tapering, something major would happen. I thought to myself, Really?

I was wondering if I was ever meant to come off, but something in my Spirit keeps gently prodding me to try and try again. I also had 2 gastric ulcers in 2015. They run in my family. I had to get them healed and I did without any drugs. Just natural supplements. They still flare up with Stress and this is for sure Stressful trying to taper. We do what we have to do to deal with our situations. Yes, I feel like sometimes I will never get off, but again, I have a determined Spirit and am going to keep trying. I am 65 and I have tried to set a goal of 3 years, but I have to be realistic. I have been going at this for years, so please don't feel bad. As I told Valiumnomore, one day we will write our success story!

 

God Bless,

 

Dana