Health Anxiety

[[Fe...]]

Some of you will have heard about the massive earthquake we experienced in New Zealand in the early hours of this morning ...

It was terrifying.. I took nearly half of a 1 mg tab at 3 am .. these were exceptional circumstances...

The after shocks continue.. no sleep .. but no more extra dose.

You do what you have to do at times like this ...kia kaha

BB

 

Hey Bozobertie,

 

I majored in geology and did a major presentation for one of my classes on the geology of New Zealand and I wanted to reassure you that as long as you take measures to keep yourself safe (get under a table, hold, cover) you will be okay. Make sure to check your building for cracks, etc. Earthquakes, while scary, themselves can't hurt you. It'/ loose things that can or severely damaged buildings or loose masonry outside.

 

I was in the 1989 LOma Prieta earthquake in California when I was 3. I remember it. Despite being a California I haven't been in an earthquake in a long time but I remember the Loma Prieta.

 

Would learning more about earthquakes help you feel less afraid of them? Any questions you have I will do my best to answer.

 

Stay safe. Maybe during the aftershocks try to picture them as shaking negativity out? Or perhaps focus instead on trying to feel the different type of waves? I often try to "Science" things I fear to make them less scary

[[bo...]]

Hi FelisEvera

Thank you for your response . I really appreciate it . Everything you say is very valid and helpful.  We are the shakey Isles so .i too have lived through some nasty ones . Nothing like this tho. It is being recorded as the second worst in NZ's history .. more powerful even than the Christchurch ones .. fortunately or should .I say unfortunalty ! It was one of those rolling ones and not the sharp jolt so less damage has been caused . We have had over 700 after shocks from the main event and some of those have been almost as bad ! I think what made it worse is it occurred in the middle of the night and that is scary ...but in the other hand less fatalities as not so many people around.

Your reasoning for coping is sound. However, living with them happening ,rational thinking does not always work ! It's the unpredictability of when the next one is going to happen is the worst for me..it's like living on adrenalin constantly ..

the ' science' of the whole thing is interesting .. well it will be when we stop shaking !  Right now like a lot of others it's the emotional stress that takes its toll ..

Really appreciate your input . Thanks so much xx

[[bo...]]

This HA never ceases to amaze me. Xmas brings with it the inevitable trips to the shops. We have a huge undercover mall locally and I ventured out at the begining of the week and it was torture. Dizzy all the time and feeling the heart pick up pace and thinking I was  going to pass out .. managed a few things then just had to go home. Very despondent. Yesterday I tried again .. nothing had changed but I just sailed along, like a ' normal' person !! Up and down the aisles. Brought far more than I needed and was  so delighted nothing was happening..in fact I came out put my things in the car, and even enjoyed a coffee at the outside cafe... then .. get this.... went back into the huge K Mart  and walked up and down the aisles again ..!! Who knows when that will happen again ! Was making the most of it!!

Hope you are all doing well again this busy time of the year BBx

[[Gr...]]

This HA never ceases to amaze me. Xmas brings with it the inevitable trips to the shops. We have a huge undercover mall locally and I ventured out at the begining of the week and it was torture. Dizzy all the time and feeling the heart pick up pace and thinking I was  going to pass out .. managed a few things then just had to go home. Very despondent. Yesterday I tried again .. nothing had changed but I just sailed along, like a ' normal' person !! Up and down the aisles. Brought far more than I needed and was  so delighted nothing was happening..in fact I came out put my things in the car, and even enjoyed a coffee at the outside cafe... then .. get this.... went back into the huge K Mart  and walked up and down the aisles again ..!! Who knows when that will happen again ! Was making the most of it!!

Hope you are all doing well again this busy time of the year BBx

 

Wow!!! You really had a good time! I am absolutely thrilled for you! And I hope that happens again and again and again. Such good news is wonderful to read about. Thank you for sharing it with us.

[[bo...]]

Just crazy tho grandma D , how it can change in 24 hours.. that was my point.. one day crawling along barely keeping my head above water and the next day all good ! It sure is a day by day process.

How are you doing?

[[fi...]]

BozoB - I see in your sig. that you have sometimes used Valium but it looks like you are tapering directly from Ativan now? Am I reading correctly? If so - can I ask why?

 

I crossed from Klonipin to Valium in February and havent felt right since - furthermore my thyroid has TANKED - I've only managed to reduce my Valium 10mg - 6.5 in almost a year and I'm so sick from my low thyroid

 

I'm considering moving back to Klonipin to taper directly from and trying to find someone, anyone who has crossed back from Valium to their original drug and tapered successfully from there??

 

Any info you have or ANYONE has would be appreciated!

[[bo...]]

Hiya FFML

Yes indeed . You are reading it correctly . I tried the crossover to Valium twice and was so sick on each occasion.. I was wired , got heart palpitations and my anxiety was off the wall. My doctor wanted me to cross over and the second time I tried really really hard to stay with it. However, I still had to work and it just wasn't conducive to that at all.. reluctantly my doctor agreed to let me come back to Ativan to taper. I certainly wouldn't say it's been a walk in the park but I can function most days and have been able to taper. So would never ever touch the Valium again .. i also know of other people on here who are just not coping with the Valium and are utterly miserable ..I was fortunate to have a doctor who could see it just wouldn't work for me. I honestly can't see the point in living in more misery than  Nessacary . I may be wrong but I think the Ashton's manual although encouraging the crossover does say it may not work for everyone ? My advice to you would be to taper off what your body already knows.. but that she just my own thoughts. The only think Valium has going for it is the longer half life which supposedly makes it smoother to taper. That was not my experience. Ativan has a shorter life but with some careful planing am making that work for me...

 

Really want to reiterate though that is just my individual experience and opinion ...

good luck ! BB

[[fi...]]

BB - Thank you so much and yes, I understand we are all just sharing our own experiences

 

I have felt poisoned and sick ever since I made the move - and then me and my dr just realized that my thyroid tanked the same time i made the switch! Ive been on thyroid meds since my 20's and NEVER had a problem before -

 

But I have heard that post acute should be easier with Valium than K or Ativan or Xanax - thats my worry - bc my post acute after my failed K taper was AWFUL - BUT - I did a short taper with large percentages of cuts.......

 

I can't thank you enough for responding! now i have a lot of thinking to do

[[2t...]]

Just crazy tho grandma D , how it can change in 24 hours.. that was my point.. one day crawling along barely keeping my head above water and the next day all good ! It sure is a day by day process.

How are you doing?

 

This up and down is the most annoying part of my taper.

Yesterday I was fine (just a little jittery) and went out and did what ever I wanted, last night I had a bad sleep and felt some symptoms starting.

Today I am in the dumps with anxiety and aches and pains, I have no idea what tomorrow will bring so any plans will need to be made in the morning.

[[bo...]]

FFML ... yes it's an individual experience.. i understand your fear of Post acute.. you an me both ... I gave it a lot of thought too.. however, for me, in the end I think was about getting through each day NOW .. I will worry about post acute when that comes... and what say it makes no different at all ? Point being I have also read others who have stepped off Ativan and had no issues ( other than the normal ones!)  I plan on going very very slowly in this last bit.. another year at least .. I am  on .4 now .. I feel if I taper to the smallest amount possible then step off I have every chance of it going ok ..I have to believe that x

[[bo...]]

2 trusting ... the anxiety is the worst isn't it...I'm actually pleased you posted.  To that you are experiencing it , but I thought I was mad how it changed overnight. You will understand how thrilled .I was to be able to walk around a big shopping mall !! Funny what we used to take for granted wasn't it , in another life ! Xx

[[fi...]]

BB - you have a great attitude - I'm guessing you will do JUST FINE!! Thanks again

[[Gr...]]

Just crazy tho grandma D , how it can change in 24 hours.. that was my point.. one day crawling along barely keeping my head above water and the next day all good ! It sure is a day by day process.

How are you doing?

 

Not doing well tonight at all. But I know it'll change.

[[Gr...]]

Just crazy tho grandma D , how it can change in 24 hours.. that was my point.. one day crawling along barely keeping my head above water and the next day all good ! It sure is a day by day process.

How are you doing?

 

This up and down is the most annoying part of my taper.

Yesterday I was fine (just a little jittery) and went out and did what ever I wanted, last night I had a bad sleep and felt some symptoms starting.

Today I am in the dumps with anxiety and aches and pains, I have no idea what tomorrow will bring so any plans will need to be made in the morning.

 

Trusting, I don't make plans and tell people that I have to wait till almost the last minute to see if I can do something because of how much the symptoms can fluctuate. Gee whiz isn't this fun?

[[2t...]]

Just crazy tho grandma D , how it can change in 24 hours.. that was my point.. one day crawling along barely keeping my head above water and the next day all good ! It sure is a day by day process.

How are you doing?

 

This up and down is the most annoying part of my taper.

Yesterday I was fine (just a little jittery) and went out and did what ever I wanted, last night I had a bad sleep and felt some symptoms starting.

Today I am in the dumps with anxiety and aches and pains, I have no idea what tomorrow will bring so any plans will need to be made in the morning.

 

Trusting, I don't make plans and tell people that I have to wait till almost the last minute to see if I can do something because of how much the symptoms can fluctuate. Gee whiz isn't this fun?

 

This is my life at the moment but the problem is I had a pretty good month that ended just a few weeks ago, against my advice my wife decided I would be fit for some Christmas gatherings the first this Saturday, i'm not looking forward to letting her down.

[[wa...]]

Sicker than I a have been in many weeks.  I finally got some sleep with a terrible nightmare -- I was in court justifying why I should stay on gamma globulin infusions.  Dream is definitely reworking real life which is that my insurance may not cover the gamma -- and/or it's going to require constant work by me to straighten things out. - so discouraging to wake up with sore throat (my constant companion every winter) and feeling a fever. 

 

I also just got EBV bloodwork done again and the titers are all off the charts.  But they always have been -- but of course I think that the w/d has activated the EBV  -- I always consider antivirals but am gunshy.  God will I ever feel well?  WBB

[[Gr...]]

Sicker than I a have been in many weeks.  I finally got some sleep with a terrible nightmare -- I was in court justifying why I should stay on gamma globulin infusions.  Dream is definitely reworking real life which is that my insurance may not cover the gamma -- and/or it's going to require constant work by me to straighten things out. - so discouraging to wake up with sore throat (my constant companion every winter) and feeling a fever. 

 

I also just got EBV bloodwork done again and the titers are all off the charts.  But they always have been -- but of course I think that the w/d has activated the EBV  -- I always consider antivirals but am gunshy.  God will I ever feel well?  WBB

 

Yes WBB, you WILL heal and feel well again. I know it's hard going through this, but even while we feel so ill we are healing. Our bodies are fearfully and wonderfully made, designed to heal. We just have to give it time.

 

[[bo...]]

Wannabebetter... echo what Grandma D said .. you will get better. It's frightening tho some of the things we experience. We have to believe that as other wise it's not worth it. I hang on to that belief with all my heart...

withdrawl is horrific , and the effect it has on the body is huge.. my struggle with anxiety is ridiculously. Only last evening I decided I had bowel cancer as my poop was dark...

never mind the amount of berries and green Veges I have been eating lately that is the cause. Oh no it hadn't to be something more sinister!

Hang in there , and pop in here whenever you are feeling down to it BBxx

[[wa...]]

Thank you Grandma and bozo - You bring tears to my eyes.  This process is so lonely.  Only you guys understand.  Maybe all I have is my son's upper resp thing.  I thought I beat it but maybe not.  So crazy-making.  WBB

[[Gr...]]

Wannabebetter... echo what Grandma D said .. you will get better. It's frightening tho some of the things we experience. We have to believe that as other wise it's not worth it. I hang on to that belief with all my heart...

withdrawl is horrific , and the effect it has on the body is huge.. my struggle with anxiety is ridiculously. Only last evening I decided I had bowel cancer as my poop was dark...

never mind the amount of berries and green Veges I have been eating lately that is the cause. Oh no it hadn't to be something more sinister!

Hang in there , and pop in here whenever you are feeling down to it BBxx

 

I understand what you mean about the anxiety thing. I've had so many things wrong with me over the last year or so that it's amazing. Things that I had imagined or wrong with me I should say. You know how that goes.

[[Gr...]]

Thank you Grandma and bozo - You bring tears to my eyes.  This process is so lonely.  Only you guys understand.  Maybe all I have is my son's upper resp thing.  I thought I beat it but maybe not.  So crazy-making.  WBB

 

This process IS very lonely. I think this is the worst Christmas I've ever had. But next year is going to be a whole lot better! For all of us!

[[wa...]]

I don't know if I was going into a bad wave anyway or not but I'm in a much worse state after researching blood test results.  Alot of autoimmune stuff making me scared.  Just needed to post this somewhere.  My doctor is so blase about it.  That's good I think. WBB

[[bo...]]

Hi there wannabebetter

I don't think it automatically means you are going into a bad wave..makes sense to me that after researching the blood results you feel worse .. sometimes it's just in the very fact of what you've read. Sounds crazy but I get it.. I try not to research but then it's even worse! I like to think of it as a wave of health anxiety , not a wave of tapering .. try putting that perspective on it !

Glad you posted .. it's what this thread is for .. take care BBxx

[[li...]]

Hi Buddies, I've been reading some of the recent posts and I too have been having a really bad month. I was doing quite well, but major life stresses kicked in. Very overwhelming stuff all at once and I am really struggling again. The health anxiety thing is very hard for me to kick. A mole on my back had some dry scabby skin on it and even though I saw the dermatologist and he scanned my entire body and looked at all my moles under a microscope, I convinced myself that this must be the most deadly form of skin cancer. I literally made myself sick from the anxiety this morning, and now as I'm reading this I realize that if he looked at it 6 months ago, chances are its probably ok. I do have an appointment to check though.

 

Health anxiety is real. I'm pretty sure the withdrawal makes it so much worse. I just want to heal and feel normal again

[[bo...]]

Hi linnieoffdrufs

Hell yes ! It's real !! Sometimes it's ok and just rumbles along in the background, other times it's  full blown ..sometimes you can laugh at yourself other times you can't !

Crazy .. I'm pretty sure we are all probably predisposed to it anyway , but the withdrawal makes it so much worse.  We're all in the same boat !