Health Anxiety

[[pe...]]

I agree that morning fragility is the worst. I do need to eat  a good breakfast full of protein. I eat eggs - sometimes grits which I love - a meat - just to help keep me steady. Also just breathing - drinking a cup o f warm water and tryig to keep in the moment.

They didn't give me xanax because I was such a calm, cool and collected person BEFORE so each and every moment now of peace is both new and earned by holding on.

Often I think -- I'll just go have a xanax - and then I stop knowing when it is clear in my head it is a gift.

Hold on.

I am usually 90% by afternoon so I know that it isn't 24/7.

Hang on.

pearlgirl 

[[Ch...]]

It really does feel your body is breaking down, doesn't it? And it has hit my confidence in my own resilience.

 

Having said that, I believe most of my recent wave was actually more related to emotional upset than benzos. I am pretty stable as I should be after nearly a year.

 

I am reluctant to inflict further suffering on myself by cutting further, but know there;s no good time. I am about ti try another liquid Kllonopin taper. I will give it so long. Maybe three weeks. if It feels no better I will switch back to dry micro-tapering.

[[Re...]]

I am back to thinking I have a sinus infection again. I got over thinking this for about four months. Now I am convinced again that I have one . Mostly because of the face pain I have that is always on one side has gotten a hell of a lot worse the past three days. Plus I have been extremely dizzy and lightheaded , especially upon standing up. I keep getting shooting pains on my cheekbone, it's painful a sense all hell. Also in my jaw in the area beneath my teeth near my chin.

 

Do you think it's a sinus infection? I don't have a fever or any congestion but isn't it possible I could get one without those symptoms? Am I just looking for something medically to spin my withdrawel symptoms?. Any feedback would be great I have been going in circles all damn dy with this nonesense it goes " well maybe I have a sinus infection or wait it could be a abscess tooth, but none of my teeth hurt ? Maybe it's only in my maxillary sinuses since there is no congestion anywhere? Ect ect "

 

Thanks

Remy

[[wa...]]

yeah - I have something like this and the dentist thought it was an infected salivary gland? -- who knows.  The GP wanted to RX the same.  No congestion.  Low fever sometimes and feel like s**t.  A week on amoxicillin didn't do much.  But sinus irrigation helped a little I think to get whatever it is moving. 

 

I have a long time - off the charts EBV titer issue and wondered if I kicked up that virus so I am on an antiviral.  But if you have a normal immune system and its viral -- gonna have to ride it out.

 

I think you should be looked at just to rule out strep, for instance.  But it is just maybe a weird virus going around.  W

[[Re...]]

yeah - I have something like this and the dentist thought it was an infected salivary gland? -- who knows.  The GP wanted to RX the same.  No congestion.  Low fever sometimes and feel like s**t.  A week on amoxicillin didn't do much.  But sinus irrigation helped a little I think to get whatever it is moving. 

 

I have a long time - off the charts EBV titer issue and wondered if I kicked up that virus so I am on an antiviral.  But if you have a normal immune system and its viral -- gonna have to ride it out.

 

I think you should be looked at just to rule out strep, for instance.  But it is just maybe a weird virus going around.  W

 

Thanks wannabe better, I really appreciate it. I been following your journey on here with the antibiotics. I was scared for you since so many people post horror stories on here about antibiotics. The way I see it though you prolly have a 50/50 chance of having a negative reaction to most medications in general.

 

Yeah I hope it just goes away but more than likely it is just my withdrawel symptoms kicking into overdrive again.  Could be stress related maybe something I ate maybe I am not eating enough of something ect ect our bodies are going haywire . It really does feel like they are attacking themselves( our bodies) most of the time during recovery.

[[wa...]]

Yes - I am run down from this thing -- sorry I can't even remember where I've been posting so sorry to be redundant.  One upside of trying the antibiox is that I had discipline about taking Florastor since I am deathly arfaid of C-Diff and getting diarrhea from the antibiox but I didn't have any problems.  The dentist can have a really good look.  I am going to start Biotene, too as a ditch effort.  WBB

[[Re...]]

Yes - I am run down from this thing -- sorry I can't even remember where I've been posting so sorry to be redundant.  One upside of trying the antibiox is that I had discipline about taking Florastor since I am deathly arfaid of C-Diff and getting diarrhea from the antibiox but I didn't have any problems.  The dentist can have a really good look.  I am going to start Biotene, too as a ditch effort.  WBB

 

You are brave  to try all those medications, though I know if I was in your shoes I would do the same. So maybe it's a combination of fear of your health condition getting worse ,fueling your  courage to try medications. I won't even take ibuprofen , I haven't put any pills in my body for nine months. That would change though if I needed a antibiotic, i am deathly afraid of taking one. It is my biggest withdrawel fear besides taking a benzo. Your not redundant, I am very pleased your sharing your journey with us. Your experience helps others with thier experience.

 

It's almost as if we are a collective consciousness on bb

[[bo...]]

Love that Remy ' a collective consciousness ' ... whatever we call I think I sure wouldn't be traveling so well without the support I get here. Xx

[[Gr...]]

Oh my goodness ! Health anxiety in the extreme ! ( you'll have a laugh at this one grandma D !)

Last night I decided I wasn't breathing right .. I was breathing too much through my mouth and not my nose. Dr Google told me that could lead to strokes and heart disease! Thank you Dr Google , can always rely on you to put the fear into me !!

Do you notice when you start 'thinking' about your breathing suddenly it's all over the place ...

How many of you notice that you 'mouth' breath a lot more in this process?

 

LOL! I don't dare think about how I breathe or go to Dr. Google as I'd be in BIG trouble! Thanks for the laugh Bertie!

[[Gr...]]

My health anxiety revolves around a feeling of utter fragility. Although I am now stable, I went tro0ugh such hell last year because of my cut and a load of stresses I had to deal with.

 

I just feel my mortality so much  - like death could be imminent from some non-specific cause, as I feel I just cannot take any more. I feel I need at least a year free of major stresses to get over this, although of course life does not usually pan out like that.

 

Antone else have this feeling of total fragility and dread you may not survive much more?

 

I think about death way too much and worry about how few years I have left to live. Sigh. Never used to be like that until withdrawal. Every time someone I know has died it starts is all up again. This anxiety is awful - BUT WE ALL WILL GET THROUGH THIS AND FEEL NORMAL ONCE AGAIN! I believe that, even if I do have to keep reminding myself of it!

[[2t...]]

 

 

I think about death way too much and worry about how few years I have left to live. Sigh. Never used to be like that until withdrawal. Every time someone I know has died it starts is all up again. This anxiety is awful - BUT WE ALL WILL GET THROUGH THIS AND FEEL NORMAL ONCE AGAIN! I believe that, even if I do have to keep reminding myself of it!

 

D, I am with you 100%. I hope I go back to not thinking about this when I am finished  with the devil benzo.

[[Gr...]]

 

 

I think about death way too much and worry about how few years I have left to live. Sigh. Never used to be like that until withdrawal. Every time someone I know has died it starts is all up again. This anxiety is awful - BUT WE ALL WILL GET THROUGH THIS AND FEEL NORMAL ONCE AGAIN! I believe that, even if I do have to keep reminding myself of it!

 

D, I am with you 100%. I hope I go back to not thinking about this when I am finished  with the devil benzo.

 

We shall 2trusting, we shall. 

[[Re...]]

Had a root canal today hopefully that is the end of the severe pain after it heals . I am scared to talk the pain killers

 

[[bo...]]

Miserable day .

Got a migraine that isn't quite eventuating  if that makes sense.. the aura's and nausea but not the headache.

Really don't like days like this... just plain miserable.. I know you will all understand that .. BBxx

[[wa...]]

Remy -- sounds like your problem will be solved!  healing coming

 

bozo -- I had a s**ty day, too -- this throat pain driving me to distraction.  Hugs, etc.  Up all hours again.

[[bo...]]

I'm just hanging out here as having a anxiety attack .. right now in  the midst.. it's not a panic attack , an anxiety attack. Know exactly what caused it .. the neighbour just told me her DIL has just been flown to hospital with a suspected brain bleed .. set me right off. How silly is that , hearing about someone else's misfortune sets off my own anxiety ... I know all the right things to do and am doing them , drinking water, turned the air con on , breathing the best I can but it's all impendîng doom ..

Anyone here that could just affirm with me right now that I WILL be ok .. it will pass

[[wa...]]

I'm just hanging out here as having a anxiety attack .. right now in  the midst.. it's not a panic attack , an anxiety attack. Know exactly what caused it .. the neighbour just told me her DIL has just been flown to hospital with a suspected brain bleed .. set me right off. How silly is that , hearing about someone else's misfortune sets off my own anxiety ... I know all the right things to do and am doing them , drinking water, turned the air con on , breathing the best I can but it's all impendîng doom ..

Anyone here that could just affirm with me right now that I WILL be ok .. it will pass

 

Most Definitely will pass!  Good for you for identifying the trigger.  W

[[Re...]]

Woke up in a lot of pain and one of my eyes is red? Do you think it's from taking acetaminophen and ibuprofen? I know I'm most likely bieng paranoid. Any feeed back is helpful .

[[bo...]]

Thank you so much WBB

Yes it is a big step when you can identify the trigger and roll with it.. I gave myself permission to sleep on the couch if I needed and just rest in the night rather than sleep .. didn't matter. ( funny how my mind tells me you can die in bed but not on the couch !)! Anyway managed to calm down a little and get myself sorted and actually had quite a good rest ( in bed !)

I think identifying the trigger is a good thing and then just rolling with it rather than trying to fight it ..still not so pleasent at the time though.. in the past my anxiety attacks would always turn into a full blown panic attack , but not this time.. feel quite good about that ..

Thanks for being there WBB xxx

[[Bu...]]

Glad you are doing better bozobertie.  Others scary ordeals really set me off, too-just so darn hypersensitive.  I don't dare watch the news right now!

 

Remy:  glad you are feeling better.  Tooth pain can be very intense.  I'm having old tooth pain but, trying to put off a probable root canal...ugh.

 

Take care all.

[[tw...]]

In the midst of a severe anxiety attack (keep holding my breath, feel like my feet/legs and hands/arms are turning blue, etc. Happened upon this support group and am just here now, trying to distract, waiting this out. Gah - this suuuuucks.

 

Whew - just typing this is already calming me down a tad. MAN - just when I got used to the heart/PVC's (and reassurance I wasn't in heart failure, which I was 100% convinced I WAS), then the breathing issues started. (I say "breathing issues" - in reality, I've come to realize that I think they are anxiety/almost panic attacks...) Then I feel like my veins constrict/bulge and my feet & hands turn blue, and well, that starts a WHOLE 'nother vicious cycle.

 

It's exhausting. After my heart tests (including echo and stress tests) came back all fine, I had a chest CT scan and an abdominal u/s yesterday. I think the results are in and they are online, but I'M AFRAID TO GO LOOK! I feel like everything is fine and it would allay my fears, BUT - what if I read them wrong? What if there is something small but typical wrong and I overreact?

 

I REALLY wish my doc would call me and tell me that BOTH tests are normal. Knowing that heart, lungs/chest, kidney, liver and everything else is FINE, would go a looonnnggg way to helping me get through all this BS! (okay, in reality, I'd probably come up with a NEW fatal disease I was convinced I had...) But still! This is exhausting!

 

 

[[bo...]]

Absolutely exhausting isn't it..

I got my blood test results this week and they are normal .. yes normal ... in fact more normal than they have ever been which SHOULD indicate that I am healing,  but oh no , instead of looking at it from that angle I'm concerned because one of them is only 'just' in the normal range and what if it drops and I go into kidney failure? Absolutely ridiculous isn't it !

[[He...]]

I know what you mean Twinkle! I'm dealing with the exact same thing!!

[[tw...]]

Oh yeah...I went to the ER 4 times from 12/27 - 1/18. Even stayed overnight one night to get a stress test the next morning. Can't wait to get THAT bill. I felt almost like a psych case, which I think they probably thought I was. (this of course, does not count the two urgent care visits, and doctor visits. My doctor and I are honestly sick of each other...lol.)

 

NOW - I've just decided i will NOT go to the ER or doctor AGAIN. I told my work and family - if I keel over, then I guess you can call an ambulance. Otherwise, i am NOT going again. I'm just not.

 

Now - every time I did go to the ER, it WAS due to a very real symptom - 1) severe right side pain, 2) chest flutters AND pain - echo does show I have PVC's (skipped heart beat) higher resting heart rate (80-100 - they all say this is NORMAL!) and one ER trip they couldn't get my oxygen levels up from 89%-92% percent for about 90 minutes. I'm guessing I may have been holding my breath and my 02 levels were lowering? Anyway, OF COURSE, I was convinced my lungs could no longer oxygenate my body and I'm be dead in 2 weeks. (still here!)

 

Honestly, every single time they ruled out one thing, something else came at me. (now, I WAS in acute withdrawal at the time, I'd lost 25 lbs in 4-5 weeks and hadn't slept for DAYS. And never more than 2-4 hours for months before that!) So, yeah, I probably WAS a little crazy.

 

Now I just ignore the skipped heart beats. If you look in my signature, I ultimately reinstated (and sorry I did, really) but I just COULD NOT continue to function like that. (I work full time in a really stressful, deadline oriented job and so I had to choose "functioning"...)

 

BUT - I'm tapering again and going to go SUPER SLOOOWWW. My signature will also show I went WAY too fast and then got greedy at the end. That's when everything "hit the fan" so to speak.

 

At any rate - breathing back to normal now. It's SO hard when you actively FEEL and experience very REAL symptoms, and your mind/body feels like something is very wrong and it's not. So yeah, I won't be heading to the ER again unless I'm unconscious on a stretcher...lol. (and I will KEEP telling myself that when I inevitably start to feel otherwise...)

[[He...]]

WOW Twinkle! I totally understand! I'm praying a full recovery for us soon! 😃