The December 2015-February 2016 Jump Club

[[Ho...]]

Still lost. Lol. Are you telling me not to believe what I read about iron and seritonin?

[[pe...]]

Hey, hockey, ...

 

What a super-excellent question! 

 

I can't answer it! 

 

In a practical way, I would say, if taking iron makes you feel better then take it especially if there are indications your iron is low.

 

Best!

[[tr...]]

Sometimes it may be crazy with the translation, and I misunderstand.

Can I join this if I finished CT January 2016? Thanks in advance!

[[Ho...]]

Of course you can. Your sitting right around 2 years like the rest of us. Welcome!

[[Ho...]]

Sometimes it may be crazy with the translation, and I misunderstand.

Can I join this if I finished CT January 2016? Thanks in advance!

 

Am I reading that right? 12 mg of Xanax?

[[an...]]

Hockey- do you believe depression comes from a lack of serotonin?

[[Ho...]]

According to everything you read it does. I guess I don't really know what to believe about it other than what the medical field tells you. And we all know how wrong they can be. I don't know what chemical it is but when I get a dump of it and feel good, my anxiety disappears. Rather it's dopamine or seritonin I don't know, but I would have to say what ever chemical it is would be good at helping depression also. That's my unprofessional clueless opinion. Lol Why, what's up?

[[tr...]]

Hockeylife, Yes, everything went wrong. My husband died, and there was trouble about the testament for 2 years. I completely lost respect for dosages, just had to survive. One day a time.....

[[pe...]]

Hi all:

 

translator, as Hockey says, you are right there with the rest of us, about two years out.  So, welcome!  So sorry to hear about your husband and problems with the will or trust.  That kind of thing on top of the death of a spouse can knock the stuffing out of a person.  But sounds as if you are trying to get back on course.  I think you live in Sweden.  Is that right?  We have another regular on this thread from Norway.  Do you use some sort of web based translator to write your posts?  If so, what is it.  Because it does a real good job.  Again, welcome!

 

ang, that's a good question.  What do you believe?  In asking, I have no answer myself, I am just trying to better understand your reasoning.  When you say "comes from" do you mean "cause," as in does an absence of serotonin cause depression.  I guess my answer would be that probably there are multiple causes: social, political, biochemical, psychological, and in the case of my family, genetic (since so many of my relatives struggle with depression).  Which is to say: I don't think there is ONE cause.  (How are your classes these days?  Are you at the start of a new semester?)

 

hey, hockey, how are you?

 

I'm not doing too good myself.  Some symptoms have lessened while others have gotten worse.  I am sick to death of the morning anxiety. And, I don't know, just that this has gone on so long and so long gets really wearing.  At this moment I don't see an end in sight.  But I am hanging in.

 

Best to all.

 

 

[[Ho...]]

I'm hanging in there pens. Riding the roller coaster of happy to hell. Each day is never the same. Iron issues, tapering, OCD, blah blah blah. Lol. What can you do? One day is really good and the next not so great. Trying to take one day at a time. I wish all this shit would go away for all of us.

[[an...]]

I’m on school again and it’s kicking my ass. I’m basically gone 40 hours a week between doing my internship and doing classes. I have nerve, muscle and joint pain all over me and fatigue all day. I am sleeping better though and my sleep schedule is 9:30pm-6:30 am which has never been like that my entire adult life. I still wake up a few times though.

 

Everyone thinking about serotonin and depression... go google “chemical imbalance depression myth” and read a few things and come back and tell me what you think. 

[[Ho...]]

I still don't really know what to say about the seritonin stuff. Doesn't really seem to be cold hard facts on either side. I do know with out a doubt that dopamine does something. When I was on that Wellbutrin, it works on dopamine and I would get a dump of it every morning. No anxiety, no nothing. Felt like I was on a cloud and happy, not a care in the world until it wore off. Sex, eating, gambling and the like all give that good dopamine feeling but when seritonin is high, I have no idea what that feels like. I've never really struggled with depression just anxiety. I do know, I can't wait to get off these effing meds that are supposed to help.

[[tr...]]

I'm so glad I found this group, it feels quite right! My husband's passing away, and what his children exposed to me, was completely unworthy. They wanted to take care of everything I owned. They went home and appreciated everything I owned - the day after the death.

But now I try to come again, but it seems to take time. It`s  good we are in the same period because symptoms vary depending on the time of the healing.

 

Wondering if you recognize my symptoms?

Still has inner vibration and shaking, nothing works. It presses over the throat, chest and stomach. In the morning it feels like "mold". The worst is probably the powerlessness, I hardly get out of the sofa.

 

You seem to be very knowledgeable, and well aware of what happens to the CNS, and that's great! It is important to know what is happening, and why you feel so bad. To cheat a little, we know more than our doctors do.

 

Have you been given help, and understanding, of the medical care? Although I have described my neurological symptoms it`s "anxiety". When I told of the hallucinations ,"the palms and soles of the feet were stuck on the ceiling" (and I then fell through bed) was just considered a lie. She got angry, and said the phone time was over. So we're lucky to have each other!

 

Another question: Do you also get the feeling that you are getting mad? I don`t know where to go, is very restless but at the same time it's hard to move. The whole body is in rebellion.

 

I'm using Google Translator. Writing the swedish text, and then translated. I understand english text, but don`t dare to write, then it will be a mixture of swedish and english.

 

I'll back and read through your discussions so I'm up to date. This really feels like the right group. It also seems active. Hug you are all!

[[an...]]

Yes I feel like I’m going mad too. It’s all normal. All of that will leave.

[[pe...]]

Hey all:

 

translator, I think Ang says it best, we all feel at one time or another that we are going mad.  I have never been institutionalized but I have had periods of very severe depression and I have struggled with anxiety for years.  But nothing I previously experienced prepared me for what I have felt during this withdrawal.  I couldn't have imagined anything like it.  It's awful beyond words.  And it seems to build up and magnify any other issues you might have from your life or your personal psychology.  I think we all have embraced at one time or another the philosophy of one day or even one step at a time.  I know I have.  Also try to distance yourself, if you can, from anxiety producing situations.  Distraction is the key.  Keep yourself distracted and take one step at a time and be content and happy with that, for the time being...Hmmm...I am running out of energy.

 

ang...considering how terrible you feel, you are doing amazing things.  To encourage me, my wife says, pay attention to what you do and not what you feel.  I want to say that to you, considering how you feel, you are doing amazing things.  What's your internship?

 

bjeste, how is that CD coming?

 

hockey, thanks for the update...

 

I woke at 3 last night with a hot, burning sensation over my hip joints.  My wife says it's probably something to do with muscles.  I remember others talking about burning sensations. They are not so bad this morning...

[[an...]]

Pens-

 

I’m at a homeless veterans program but I basically sit in my office and do homework. I’m also planning some events but hats all. It’s not demanding and very laid back. No one bothers me all day. It’s wonderful.

[[tr...]]

Thanks for the reply! Even though I don`t wish a worst enemy would go through this, it`s  still nice to know that you are not alone. Earlier I thought of being close, but now I just want to be alone.

Distraction is very important, even I think it's good to keep up the brain. I made summaries of texts (maybe not the most fun) and made fun of children in the family. I tried to get started as soon as possible because I'm not so interested in TV.

 

The disadvantage of being alone is that I can`t keep up my mind at home. Maybe I'm not perfectionist, but it's going to be order. Now it's completely impossible, some days I can`t take a piece of paper from the floor.How do you feel like living yourself, do you think it's hard?

[[pe...]]

Hey all!

 

ang: sounds like a great internship.  You get paid to do a bit of work and be alone.  That's not bad at all, and on top of that, you are helping homeless vets.  Man, that is so sad: that we have homeless vets.  I can't believe it actually.  But I never met a person back when I was a kid who went to Viet Nam who didn't come back all screwed up.  I  hope you have interesting classes this semester.

 

translator: I can't imagine going through withdrawal alone.  Fortunately, I have a loving and supportive wife.  If she weren't here and helping me, I don't know if I would have attempted this withdrawal.  I knew it would be terrible.  So I don't have any real advice for you.  Except, you know, stay busy, do stuff around the house.  Exercise, if you can at all.  Can you still read? And do you have access to a therapist or some mental health person because the process of going through withdrawal is itself traumatizing.  Maybe a therapist could help you develop strategies, like meditation, to help you through the day.

 

Best to all!

[[an...]]

Pens- what symptoms do you have left and how are you feeling lately?

 

Thanks for the well wishes. One day at a time I will get there.

[[tr...]]

Pensioner1: I get a lot of help from my ex. I still don´t  want to go out, still feeling scared.

I've been talking to a therapist, but she knew nothing about benso. It's hard to find someone who knows this, and know that it may take several years before the hell is over.

 

Now I've decided I have to do something, I just cant  sleep on the sofa. Has produced books about easier training and meditation. The situation feels completely untenable, and something I have to do.

[[Sh...]]

Can you stop private msging me hockeylife? Especially since you have blocked me so I can't even reply.

 

I've already reported you once.

[[tr...]]

Do you still experience extreme nervousness? I can`t stand anything. I got a little worry now, and almost got a panic attack. Can`t  sit still, and feel very restless. Is it alike for you?

[[pe...]]

Hey all:

 

translator:  I am not restless today.  I am really tired out and on the verge of tears, though I never cry.  It's hard to know what to say, but I read this yesterday on another thread, written by "sofakingdone"and it made sense to me.  She wrote:

 

"Yes, this process is more than just frustrating.  It’s disheartening and it’s scary.  Think of it this way if you can.  What’s happening is a balancing act.  We are on a tightrope carrying a long pole to help us stay even.  Sometimes a gust of wind blows and we are thrown off kilter a bit.  We rebalance.  Then our foot slips to one side a little and we need to readjust.  We find balance again.  This dance of balance keeps happening until we are mostly healed and we can walk without a pole.  We step off the tightrope onto solid ground.  At first the ground feels funny when we walk.  We have just come off the tightrope.  We keep walking on solid ground for awhile and our steps become automatic.  We are now completely recovered."

 

That's a pretty good description of the process I think.  One step at a time, one day at a time and all the while keep an eye on your balance.  Does your restlessness get better as the day goes on.

 

ang, lately I have mostly anxiety and fatigue.  I do also have tense and aching muscles occasionally, some tinnitus.  The more physical stuff has mostly abated, but the "psychological" may be worse (dread, despair, helpless, hopelessness).  But I continue with the routine of my day.

 

Hey all: best and stay in motion.

 

 

[[an...]]

That sounds much better than a year ago Pens!!!! I’m happy we are both better than a year ago even though I know we both struggle from mental stuff quite a bit.

[[pe...]]

Thanks, Ang...overall, yes, better than a year ago.  I used to get up, make breakfast, and go back to sleep for an hour.  That's gone.  But it doesn't seem to take much to put me in reverse, and I am back where I once was.  And, this is another thing, the withdrawal has been going on so long that that becomes depressing in its own right.  Oh well, I am mopey this morning (the mornings are the worse). But we will deal with this psychological stuff as it comes up.  Are you still doing EMDR?  Best to you and have a good day!