The December 2015-February 2016 Jump Club

[[Ho...]]

Hi Hockey! Congratulations to the new family member!

My value for iron has always been low. But getting away, for control, now feels like going to another planet. It is completely incomprehensible how to feel so sick, "flu or electricity in the nervous system". Sitting on the couch with a blanket over me, and getting nothing done. But every time I get up, I try to pick up some things. Tomorrow they come with food, and I want to let them in. But it feels like moving a mountain.

 

Pensioner, how is it going for you?

 

You might talk to your doctor about an iron supplement. When it's low it can really mess with everything. Increased anxiety, chills, tired, and all kinds of other stuff. It's crazy how much it affects. Hang in there.

[[pe...]]

Hey, hockey..glad you are excited by the "new arrival."  And while four weeks on crutches is a long time, it seems like the recovery from surgery is going really well.  I hope they figure out the funky iron/sugar thing.

 

translator, yes, this whole process is amazing in a horrible way.  I keep reaching levels of misery I had not felt possible.  Lately, I have been going down a hole, but I have hope that I will get back up again.  That does happen occasionally.  In the meantime, best to you...and I hope this day goes better for you than the last....

 

Best to all....

[[tr...]]

Pensioner: I`m so sad, that you are now in a worse period. Now, we should get rid of this, after all this time. But it doesn`t seem to be.

 

Here I sit on the couch, and it doesn`t happen much more. But at least, I'm not bedside anymore, and of course I'm grateful for that. When I sit still, I can feel quite calm, but otherwise there is constant stress and nervousness.

Outside the window the sun shines, and spring has come. I didn`t know that,  in the hall my winter clothes are still hanging. Must look for other clothes, but it feels so heavy. Tomorrow? Life is like another planet, don`t know what's going on in the world. Time stands still. Oh, now I complained very much!

 

How are you doing pensioner?

 

 

 

 

 

[[pe...]]

Hello, translator...I too sit on my coach every morning for a little while.  I don't do anything.  I try not to think anything.  Sometimes I feel calm, but I am not sure.  It might be weariness. So I just sit there, and after a while I get up and do things.  I am happy to be able to still do that--get up and do things.  Like washing the breakfast dishes and vacuuming the carpets.  Daily chores.  At the end of the day I look back and it feels like the day has lasted forever.  Just gone on and on.  I think this withdrawal stuff can screw up a person's sense of time.  I hope the day goes well for you, and I hope the sun is out.

 

Best...

[[ca...]]

GM,

 

  Glad I found this thread.

 

[[pe...]]

hey ho all

 

Today I am 27 months out and thought I would mark the occasion by an update.  About 2 months ago, I started feeling not good, or great, but at least a bit better.  I thought I was turning a corner, so ever optimistically and perhaps recklessly, I decided to taper from the ten milligrams of Prozac per day that I have been taking since I started the taper and withdrawal from benzo.  So I stopped taking one 10 milligram pill every Saturday.  Things went alone sort of OK for three weeks, then wham!, it was as if I had been set back nearly to square one.  Terrible anxiety spikes at night, sweating, can't sleep. I guess I have over the years "kindled". Now at six weeks since my taper, I am still terrible, maybe a bit worse.  If that's possible.  I saw my psychiatrist.  He suggested I updose the Prozac.  I said, No.  I am going to stick it out, and hope I have something happier to say on my next monthly update.

 

Best to all...and if you guys are still out there, how are you doing--bjeste, ang, hockey, translator.

 

Have a good day folks.

[[Ho...]]

Hey Pens, I'm glad your sticking it out. Prozac has an insanely long half life, so I bet that's why your still struggling. Good to hear from you. I've been doing ok. Been having some morning anxiety, which I think is from the pain meds I'm on. OCD has been some what quiet. So that good. Two more weeks on the crutches and I'm done. Woo Who!

[[pe...]]

hey hockey, you're right, Prozac has an insanely long half life.  Good to hear you have only two weeks left on those crutches...  And given that the OCD is quiet, you sound almost in good spirits, if I dare say.... Best to you....

[[tr...]]

Hi Pensioner, how are you? Sit here in my mess, and can´t do anything. Must constantly, try to stop a panic attack. Others, have bought food for me, which has to be added to the freezer. But, how should I do it? I must, so it doesn´t get destroyed. That something so small, will be so difficult!

[[pe...]]

Hi, translator, don't worry about your place being a mess.  I have a garage overflowing with 20 years of junk.  I don't care.  In time, I will clean it up, and you will clean up your mess too.  Though, I know at the moment, it doesn't feel like it, not when you don't feel like doing the smallest thing.  But you will feel like it, and even if you don't you will do it anyway.  Because that's what we have to do while going through this stuff.  One tiny step at a time.  And before you know it you are one tiny step closer to feeling better....

 

Best to you...

[[pe...]]

Hey, hey, hey...

 

Well, today marks 30 months since a I jumped.  That's a long time, and I am still up to my neck in the mire.  As I indicated a while ago I made a mistake when I decided to cut back on the Prozac I had been taking for a number of years.  I guess over time, off this AD and onto another and so on and so forth, I "kindled."  Now my nervous system is constantly on edge and ragged. Any change seems to shake it up.  Lately, I have been waking up with  this really nasty feeling of anger.  It's a vile feeling.  I hope it goes away soon.  Because I had it before and it went away.

 

I guess that's about it for now.  Did you all see the NYT's article on the trouble people have getting off ADs.  Not that good of an article, but it does give a public face to the problem, and might be useful if you have friends or family thinking about going on ADs.

 

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/07/health/antidepressants-withdrawal-prozac-cymbalta.html

 

Hey bjeste, ang, hockey, translator--hang in there.

[[Ho...]]

Hey Pens, good to hear from you. Not much new to report from my end. Riding the usual roller coaster. I'm down to 12 mg of the lamictal, so I'll be done in about a month. Off my crutches and rehabbing the hip and the baby will be here in a few months. Everyday is different. Lol.  Hope to hear how everybody else is doing. I always wonder.

[[pe...]]

Hey, ho Hockey

 

Me too, I wonder about the other folks previously on this thread.  Life goes on, I guess.  I hope people are doing well.

 

In the meantime, you seem to be doing as well as could be hoped.  The hip is healing and a child is on the way.  And I seem to remember the OCD was better.  I hope so.

 

Those are all good things.

 

Best!

[[tr...]]

Hi Pensioner! How is it going for you? I've been really bad. Has been very weak in my hands, and it´s difficult to write. But, at the moment it feels a bit better, and I'm not just sitting on the couch. A bad wave, and a little better times, seems to follow each other. It's really up and down!

[[pe...]]

Hey translator

 

I am much the same.  I am not weak in my hands, though it seems I am forgetting how to spell.  Pretty much the same I guess.  I have decided not to be disappointed when I wake up and don't feel any better.  I have decided instead to feel happy if I don't feel worse.  Today, unfortunately, I am not happy because I do feel worse.  Lord knows why?  Just very, very tired.  I hope your day goes OK.  Do you celebrate Father's Day in Sweden?

 

Best

[[tr...]]

Hi Pensioner! Yes, we celebrate Father's Day. But, my father is in heaven with God. This, may seem strange, but we have contact.

What I don't understand, I'm only getting worse. 1.5 years ago, I could drive a car to another city. But now, it's completely impossible. It is as usual: stuck on the couch, in the mess. I will not think so, but I think I'll never be fine. Everything, was so wrong, with many years of Benzo, reinstallation and CT two times. If, I had just read about this poison, but it's as it is.

 

How are you today?

[[pe...]]

hi translator..Sorry about your father.  Mine too passed away a few years back.  He was 89, not bad considering his lousy diet.  He was from the American South where they eat all sorts of fried foods.  As for this benzo stuff.  Yes, it's pretty horrible.  I too wish I had known that it was a poison, or would end up poisoning me at any rate.  At this time, I am trying to reconcile myself with the situation, and, at the same time, not fall into despair.  It's a tricky path... Trying to be realistic and maintain a sense of a future.

 

I hope your day goes well.

 

 

[[tr...]]

Hi Pensioner! Now, I'm so tired of myself, and the negative thoughts. I really want to try to get started with meditation, and easier exercises. Earlier, I could not, because I only got more anxiety. But now, the fear is finally gone. The body feels like 100 years, so now I have to start. How is it going for you? 

[[pe...]]

hey, translator

 

I thought I replied to your post yesterday, but I guess I forgot to hit reply.  Yesterday I also forgot to close the garage door and left it open all day.  So I am forgetting things, I guess.  I meditate twice a day, once at noon for 20 minutes and another time for 40 minutes at around 7 PM.  I can still sit up straight so I do it that way, sitting on the floor.  I don't know what it does exactly.  But I know it can't hurt to pay attention to your breathing.  It's a form of self-regulation and helps one to feel a little bit on control of one's situation during this benzo mess.  So I hope you are able to do it without being overwhelmed with fear.

 

I have been sleeping terribly lately and feel exhausted most of the time.  But there is no turning back from this.  So upward and onward!

 

Best

[[tr...]]

Hi Pensioner! Sorry, if I complain, but I'm so tired of all this. The idea was, that I would drive MC, and enjoy life. But it only roars, it's the same with me. Getting older, has never scared me, but now I'm wondering. Is this, my new retirement life?

 

How is it going for you? Is it as usual or any improvements?

[[pe...]]

hey, translator

 

It's OK to complain.  I do it all the time.  Not too clear in the head right now.  The temperatures have gone way up, and where I live nobody, including us, has air conditioning.  The weather is so mild. And then, last Friday, a big fire broke out about five miles from us, near where I go to work out everyday.  And the house of a guy I know, whose wife died recently, burnt down.  And I have a bad headache from the smoke from the fire.

 

So I am feeling really, really crappy.  I expect things will be better in a couple of days. The temperature is supposed to go down.

 

So I am pretty much the same.  Maybe worse.

 

I hope things are going better for you.

[[pe...]]

hey, ho, all

 

It's been 31 months now since I stopped all benzo.  I wish I had happier things to report, but I am very much still in the middle of it.  Every morning, the same anxiety, depression, despair. It's not letting up.  My perspective today though may be a little warped.  I have had--and am still struggling with--a sinus infection brought on, I think, by smoke from a  recent fire.  That was very psychologically upsetting as well.  So I am hoping things will look better in a while.

 

31 months is a long time, I think.

 

Best to you all, old buddies.

[[tr...]]

Hi Pensioner, my friend! Just want to send a greeting, don't have enough power to write more. I wish, with all my heart, that you feel better soon!

[[pe...]]

thanks, translator...I hope too that you are feeling better soon.  I unfortunately have a sinus infection and am afraid I will have to go to doctor soon if it does not get better.  They will probably try to put me on antibiotics, and I will have to explain that sometimes some of those are bad for people in benzo withdrawal.  Anyway, I hate going to doctors, and I hate having to go.  But I will. On Monday if I am not better by then.  The sinus infection can produce a hell of a headache.  But enough moaning and groaning. 

 

Meanwhile, the withdrawal stuff is--what do the Talking Heads say?--"same as it ever was."

I hope that you, if at all possible, have a better day.

 

Best...

[[an...]]

Hey pens! Below is my list for curing sinus stuff without antibiotics...

 

Raw garlic

Vitamin c

Colloddial silver (gargle and spray in your nose)

Neti pot

Ginger tea

Manuka honey

Warm mist humidifier

Elderberry cough drops

 

Hope some of that helps.

 

I’m still struggling with nerve pain, weight gain, vision problems and other odds and ends.