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Has anyone been through losing housing?


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[Re...]
Posted (edited)

It looks like I'll be losing my housing in about a month due to a situation with family member who has caretaker fatigue and is turning the tables on me in an unfortunate way. Frankly, I do not feel safe here any longer. I am not in good shape to move or relocate and I don't have anyone to lean on, so I'm on my own in figuring out what to do next. I'm honestly so tired of dealing with it all and just want a fresh start at this point and to edit out negative energy and only be found by people who I want to find me.

Wondering if anyone who has successfully navigated this has any thoughts.

Due to not being able to work, I am priced out of most places in my area but willing to make a significant location change for 3-4 months to try it but I have to be able to get there on land due to transporting an elderly pet. I do not wish to have major weather fluctuations or risk of major natural disasters. Under other conditions, I wouldn't care about weather. I want to live somewhere affordable with access to healthy food and where there is a nice sense of community. I know it seems increasingly more difficult to find these places but I do believe they are out there! I am trying to prevent more financial devastation from this but I will have to dip into life savings to make the move. I am still having 20+ physical symptoms without windows and waves and cannot use my right arm due to it being frozen so need help lifting things and walking my dog. I can't drive. All things to take into some consideration.

Seems like life just piles on the crap during this until maybe it stops at some point?

Any thoughts, ideas, experiences or resources would be greatly appreciated. I know many of us face these types of issues.

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[Ma...]

What coast are you on? I’ve lived in 14 different states and visited most. I can’t offer resources, but certainly ideas!

BTW, a new start, a new beginning where you can be anyone you want? A perfect idea, IMO 😊

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[Kr...]

You have the resources so that is a MAJOR advantage over most people. As Mary states, what a gift to be able to start fresh. Could help you heal quickly being in a new place.

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[Re...]
1 hour ago, [[M...] said:

What coast are you on? I’ve lived in 14 different states and visited most. I can’t offer resources, but certainly ideas!

BTW, a new start, a new beginning where you can be anyone you want? A perfect idea, IMO 😊

Thank you, @[Ma...]. Looking close to the West Coast. Also considering Mexico or Canada since it would be temporary. I haven't been to Canada before but know people there.

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[Re...]
57 minutes ago, [[K...] said:

You have the resources so that is a MAJOR advantage over most people. As Mary states, what a gift to be able to start fresh. Could help you heal quickly being in a new place.

@[Kr...]I'm facing financial strain and uncertain work prospects, worried about potential homelessness if this goes on for another year or more. So while I have some money I can dip into, it is committed to savings for retirement, not for living expenses. I never expected a health crisis like this and that is my fault for not planning better in the past. I'm managing money carefully, seeking inexpensive safe living options, and staying open to unexpected help. Hopefully, it comes along. Please send a positive thought out for me!

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[Le...]

the west coast of canada is the most expensive place in canada to go. if on any sort of budget I wouldnt really consider it. when i sold my places there a few years ago the one i bought a decade before for around 400k sold over a million. the rental didnt do so well but most places you would want to live there are quite pricey. i really dont reccommend being too remote. 

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@[Re...], wishing you an easy time finding a new home where you will continue to recover. Yes, would be good to find a community with friendly people who can help you out. Look for a place where the weather doesn't aggravate your frozen shoulder. *hugsss*

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[Bu...]

@[Re...],

I was wondering if you are considering the interior of the country?  I know that everyone wants to be near an ocean, but I've lived in several states in the interior and there are some very beautiful places here. It's also a lot cheaper.

My sister-in-law lives in New Jersey and works in NYC, and I can't believe how high  mortgage, rent and food costs are there.  Just a thought.

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[Re...]
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, [[L...] said:

the west coast of canada is the most expensive place in canada to go. if on any sort of budget I wouldnt really consider it. when i sold my places there a few years ago the one i bought a decade before for around 400k sold over a million. the rental didnt do so well but most places you would want to live there are quite pricey. i really dont reccommend being too remote. 

@[Le...], Thank you for this information. Where would you look? Could you list some options for me to consider?

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[Re...]
1 hour ago, [[B...] said:

@[Re...],

I was wondering if you are considering the interior of the country?  I know that everyone wants to be near an ocean, but I've lived in several states in the interior and there are some very beautiful places here. It's also a lot cheaper.

My sister-in-law lives in New Jersey and works in NYC, and I can't believe how high  mortgage, rent and food costs are there.  Just a thought.

@[Bu...] I would be curious what places you have resonated with? I understand what you are saying about NYC. It is astronomical. If you got your money's worth, that is one thing but paying to live in a tiny space with a view of a wall is not the vibe.

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[Bo...]

Just some thoughts and not sure where you’re living currently but have a friend who loves Bend, Oregon and it’s very laidback, health conscious, beautiful scenery, etc etc.

Have heard great things about Salt Lake City but both of these two snow is part of it.

Tennessee has some great beautiful serene areas outside of Nashville. 

texas hill country is very very peaceful but it gets hot down this way ;). Like 100+ during summers….. out near Fredericksburg and Boerne, is peaceful and out of the city. Ft Worth is a great area but prob more pricey.

Colorado has the snow , bit my oh my the springs summers and falls are pretty dang perfect. 

Arizona has lots of great hiking and healthy living near Sedona and outside Scottsdale but def gets hot there too.

hope you find the place calling you, I’m sorry things are stressful. It is so dang unfair after all you’ve been thru.

i know you’ll find your place yiu need to be and I hope that’s very very soon!!

sending hugs and keep us posted! 

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[Re...]
7 minutes ago, [[B...] said:

Just some thoughts and not sure where you’re living currently but have a friend who loves Bend, Oregon and it’s very laidback, health conscious, beautiful scenery, etc etc.

Have heard great things about Salt Lake City but both of these two snow is part of it.

Tennessee has some great beautiful serene areas outside of Nashville. 

texas hill country is very very peaceful but it gets hot down this way ;). Like 100+ during summers….. out near Fredericksburg and Boerne, is peaceful and out of the city. Ft Worth is a great area but prob more pricey.

Colorado has the snow , bit my oh my the springs summers and falls are pretty dang perfect. 

Arizona has lots of great hiking and healthy living near Sedona and outside Scottsdale but def gets hot there too.

hope you find the place calling you, I’m sorry things are stressful. It is so dang unfair after all you’ve been thru.

i know you’ll find your place yiu need to be and I hope that’s very very soon!!

sending hugs and keep us posted! 

@[Bo...]Thank you for these ideas. I will add these to my list that I am currently organizing.

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[Bu...]

@[Re...], I lived in different parts of Oklahoma for several years and really liked Oklahoma City.  I lived in the northern part near the suburb of Edmond.  The people are incredibly friendly and welcoming.  There is a really great down-town district called Bricktown that has a canal with a board walk lined with shops, restaurants and art galleries.  It's also farm and ranch country, so there is some good, fresh food there.  It's also warm and has very low humidity.  Winter lasts about 6-8 weeks total, with a growing season of 10 months.

I've also lived in the Missouri Ozarks, and parts of south-east Missouri and near St. Louis.  I loved all of those, too.  St. Louis has tons of free things to do.  There is a 1300 acre park in the city called Forest Park that has several museums, the Zoo, an outdoor broadway-style theatre, a couple of lakes, etc. with most of them being completely free.  I wouldn't live in the city though, it's rough, but the suburbs are great.  The Ozarks are, in my opinion, some of the most beautiful country.   Rolling hills, tons of forests, caves, walking trails, streams, and state parks.  And again, farm country, so good food.

It seems like folks have given some great suggestions.  I hope you find a place that resonates with you.

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[Re...]
2 hours ago, [[B...] said:

@[Re...], I lived in different parts of Oklahoma for several years and really liked Oklahoma City.  I lived in the northern part near the suburb of Edmond.  The people are incredibly friendly and welcoming.  There is a really great down-town district called Bricktown that has a canal with a board walk lined with shops, restaurants and art galleries.  It's also farm and ranch country, so there is some good, fresh food there.  It's also warm and has very low humidity.  Winter lasts about 6-8 weeks total, with a growing season of 10 months.

I've also lived in the Missouri Ozarks, and parts of south-east Missouri and near St. Louis.  I loved all of those, too.  St. Louis has tons of free things to do.  There is a 1300 acre park in the city called Forest Park that has several museums, the Zoo, an outdoor broadway-style theatre, a couple of lakes, etc. with most of them being completely free.  I wouldn't live in the city though, it's rough, but the suburbs are great.  The Ozarks are, in my opinion, some of the most beautiful country.   Rolling hills, tons of forests, caves, walking trails, streams, and state parks.  And again, farm country, so good food.

It seems like folks have given some great suggestions.  I hope you find a place that resonates with you.

Thank you for this information. I will add it to my list!

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[Ma...]

Boulder, Colorado is sublime, Santa Fe , New Mexico is heaven.

Austin, Texas is a blast; Portland, Maine is gorgeous and you can’t beat Naples, Florida!

The world is your oyster, Rebecca! I hope you find a place that resonates with you. 🤞❤️‍🩹

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[La...]

I’m here to lend my support and echo what the others said that you are getting a fresh start as a new environment to further your healing. That’s how I’m also looking at my new move that I will be doing very shortly. I can’t drive either. When I was less than a year, I was very symptomatic with hardly no windows. I was abandoned by my ex and he filed for divorce. I had to leave my home while I was still pretty much bedridden. I was scared because I didn’t know how I could do that being so sick. Thanks to this forum and with their great advice, I was able to get an apartment and successfully move in it. I had to do what I needed to do and God made a way because he gave me a short window on the day I had to get out of the house. Once here, I made gradual gains in my healing. Now I need to move again but this time, I’m in better shape and not forced although this environment has turned stressful since I’ve been here. So I need to relocate to continue my healing. If you have anyone that could come help you, I’d say ask them. Make yourself a plan to allow for smoother move. Another thing that came to mind is once you pick a place to live, you can see if there are any ads for a roommate or you can be a boarder in someone’s home since it’s temporary. That would make things cheaper for you as well as give you a home like setting and not live alone. Many of people who rent rooms in their home are pet friendly. 
I wish you well and hope all works out for you. Hugs! 

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[Re...]
7 hours ago, [[M...] said:

Boulder, Colorado is sublime, Santa Fe , New Mexico is heaven.

Austin, Texas is a blast; Portland, Maine is gorgeous and you can’t beat Naples, Florida!

The world is your oyster, Rebecca! I hope you find a place that resonates with you. 🤞❤️‍🩹

@[Ma...]I have contacts in most of those places. I have thought about CO and have been looking into it. Santa Fe seems nice, never been there. The tough part is my symptoms were so bad this morning that I could barely get up. How am I going to move?? Maybe I should rent a place close to where I am now and give myself three months even though it will be a whole lot more expensive. I am not yet 12 months off of everything. Not that I expect things will be a whole lot different then. But a part of me has a little bit of a cautious expectation about crossing that mark.

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[Re...]
6 hours ago, [[L...] said:

I’m here to lend my support and echo what the others said that you are getting a fresh start as a new environment to further your healing. That’s how I’m also looking at my new move that I will be doing very shortly. I can’t drive either. When I was less than a year, I was very symptomatic with hardly no windows. I was abandoned by my ex and he filed for divorce. I had to leave my home while I was still pretty much bedridden. I was scared because I didn’t know how I could do that being so sick. Thanks to this forum and with their great advice, I was able to get an apartment and successfully move in it. I had to do what I needed to do and God made a way because he gave me a short window on the day I had to get out of the house. Once here, I made gradual gains in my healing. Now I need to move again but this time, I’m in better shape and not forced although this environment has turned stressful since I’ve been here. So I need to relocate to continue my healing. If you have anyone that could come help you, I’d say ask them. Make yourself a plan to allow for smoother move. Another thing that came to mind is once you pick a place to live, you can see if there are any ads for a roommate or you can be a boarder in someone’s home since it’s temporary. That would make things cheaper for you as well as give you a home like setting and not live alone. Many of people who rent rooms in their home are pet friendly. 
I wish you well and hope all works out for you. Hugs! 

@[La...]Thank you for this info. I have heard stories like yours before and I am so sorry to hear that you had to experience this. What was the great advice that the forum gave you? The timing of the window is wild. How did you pack? Who helped you? Everyone seems so strapped for cash nowadays that nobody helps for free anymore.

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[La...]
Posted (edited)
17 hours ago, [[R...] said:

@[La...]Thank you for this info. I have heard stories like yours before and I am so sorry to hear that you had to experience this. What was the great advice that the forum gave you? The timing of the window is wild. How did you pack? Who helped you? Everyone seems so strapped for cash nowadays that nobody helps for free anymore.

I saw you mention to another buddy that maybe you should move close to where you are now for the 3 month period. Honestly I think that is a very good idea. That will take some of the stress off as well as make it much easier to move because of the very short distance. Perhaps you can rent a room from someone near you. That would be much cheaper and you wouldn’t be alone. It would be very nice if you could find someone who has a small little detached apartment in their backyard or above their garage. That would give you more privacy. 
To answer your questions…I had a couple of family members that had an hour or so to spare that helped me pack. One would come on one day and the other the next. I also asked a friend who I wasn’t close to but had a good friendship with. She simply took my clothes from the closet to my new place. Every little bit of help added up. I also packed what I could when I could. You can sit on the bed or couch to secure your dishes/ breakables and put them in a box. Take a break then pick  another room to pack something. All of it adds up. You can make a packing list room by room…for example: Monday pack bathroom items ( except what you use everyday) , Tuesday pack up a closet, Wednesday non breakable kitchen items…you get the idea. As far as people helping…tell them you can’t afford to pay but still ask them to help you even if it’s for an hour or so. Maybe a neighbor or someone from your church. You can always use Facebook to post a small request for a couple of volunteers ( non payment). 
How did I move? By God’s grace and mercy! Whatever was needed, he provided right on time! That’s the honest truth! My brother and his son moved my furniture on a Saturday that they both had free and set it all in place before I arrived. Once I got there, I took my time to unpack. I had already set aside necessities that I carried with me…2 changes of clothes, personal items, roll of toilet paper, roll of paper towels, pair of socks, pajamas, my pillow, my purse and important documents. 
This forum gave me that advice. To take my time doing little packing with rest in between everyday.  Pack a suitcase of necessities. Take calming breaths and stay positive. They also made great suggestions just as you’re getting. 

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[Re...]
1 hour ago, [[L...] said:

I saw you mention to another buddy that maybe you should move close to where you are now for the 3 month period. Honestly I think that is a very good idea. That will take some of the stress off as well as make it much easier to move because of the very short distance. Perhaps you can rent a room from someone near you. That would be much cheaper and you wouldn’t be alone. It would be very nice if you could find someone who has a small little detached apartment in their backyard or above their garage. That would give you more privacy. 
To answer your questions…I had a couple of family members that had an hour or so to spare that helped me pack. One would come on one day and the other the next. I also asked a friend who I wasn’t close to but had a good friendship with. She simply took my clothes from the closet to my new place. Every little bit of help added up. I also packed what I could when I could. You can sit on the bed or couch to secure your dishes/ breakables and put them in a box. Take a break then pick  another room to pack something. All of it adds up. You can make a packing list room by room…for example: Monday pack bathroom items ( except what you use everyday) , Tuesday pack up a closet, Wednesday non breakable kitchen items…you get the idea. As far as people helping…tell them you can’t afford to pay but still ask them to help you even if it’s for an hour or so. Maybe a neighbor or someone from your church. You can always use Facebook to post a small request for a couple of volunteers ( non payment). 
How did I move? By God’s grace and mercy! Whatever was needed, he provided right on time! That’s the honest truth! My brother and his son moved my furniture on a Saturday that they both had free and set it all in place before I arrived. Once I got there, I took my time to unpack. I had already set aside necessities that I carried with me…2 changes of clothes, personal items, roll of toilet paper, roll of paper towels, pair of socks, pajamas, my pillow, my purse and important documents. 
This forum gave me that advice. To take my time doing little packing with rest in between everyday.  Pack a suitcase of necessities. Take calming breaths and stay positive. They also made great suggestions just as you’re getting. 

@[La...], Your detailed response and kindness mean a lot to me. Going through such a profound spiritual crisis, hearing about your spiritual strength is incredibly comforting. Your mention of 'three-foot tosses' resonates deeply, and I'm grateful for that perspective. Dealing with the complexity of this family situation is incredibly stressful, to the point where it's difficult to focus on anything else. Today, I'm seeking guidance from someone who might help facilitate important conversations with this family member, with the goal of fostering a peaceful environment until I can make alternative arrangements. Their request for me to leave within a month is unexpected, and it's unsettling not to have the usual time to prepare and find a new place. Life on life's terms I guess.

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[La...]

I hope the person can facilitate with your relative a more reasonable time to move out. Yes even going through this, life still happens and we have to just do our best to navigate through. There are many going through this that were forced to move or going through a divorce. It just adds to the already hard situation. But, I chose to see mine as a blessing because it was! I needed to take out the trash long ago because it smelled so bad! You know what I mean? God dried my tears because who cries when they take out their garbage? Nobody! That is what helped me get through that very difficult situation. God told me to trust him that it was for my good! I believed him and he was right…as he always is! I know this isn’t a religious forum and I’m in no way making it be one….but seeing you mentioned spiritual strength, please know that it will all work out. 
take care 

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[Re...]
1 hour ago, [[L...] said:

I hope the person can facilitate with your relative a more reasonable time to move out. Yes even going through this, life still happens and we have to just do our best to navigate through. There are many going through this that were forced to move or going through a divorce. It just adds to the already hard situation. But, I chose to see mine as a blessing because it was! I needed to take out the trash long ago because it smelled so bad! You know what I mean? God dried my tears because who cries when they take out their garbage? Nobody! That is what helped me get through that very difficult situation. God told me to trust him that it was for my good! I believed him and he was right…as he always is! I know this isn’t a religious forum and I’m in no way making it be one….but seeing you mentioned spiritual strength, please know that it will all work out. 
take care 

@[La...]Beautifully said. Today has been undeniably tough. I'm hopeful that the family member will agree to facilitation, but if not, I'm open to seeking help individually from the facilitator. Naturally, finances are a major concern for me, as they would be for anyone going through this in this economy. Despite everything unraveling, I find myself surprisingly calm. After all, I've faced much worse in the past year. It's almost ironic—I keep thinking things couldn't possibly get any worse, and yet they do.

 

I resonate with your analogy of clearing— especially when people are unwilling to consider our perspective and seem intent on causing distress. Their anger seems misplaced; it should be directed towards the medical professional, not towards us.

It seems some of the relationships that have unraveled in my life were already on shaky ground to begin with and I did not acknowledge it. I have had friends with cancer who told me they had a similar experience of finding out who their friends are. I guess it is a universal human experience.

 

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[La...]

Yes it is unfortunate that this is a universal thing. I simply embrace who I have and focus on being grateful even though it’s a couple of consistent people. Some people don’t have anyone. It’s good that you are calm. That will help you in doing what you need to do. I wish you well with finding a new home and in your healing journey. 
Take care 

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[Bu...]

@[Re...] I am on the west coast of Canada and there are cheaper places on some of the gulf islands and the larger island I am on, but then you are bound by ferries etc. Food is also very expensive here but you can find amazing local produce and meat for cheaper than in the grocery store. If you are on the West Coast in the US then I am sure the prices wouldn’t shock you, the rest of Canada is cold in the winter and muggy and hot in the summer. The east coast of Canada is beautiful but the weather is tough. 

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[Re...]
15 hours ago, [[B...] said:

@[Re...] I am on the west coast of Canada and there are cheaper places on some of the gulf islands and the larger island I am on, but then you are bound by ferries etc. Food is also very expensive here but you can find amazing local produce and meat for cheaper than in the grocery store. If you are on the West Coast in the US then I am sure the prices wouldn’t shock you, the rest of Canada is cold in the winter and muggy and hot in the summer. The east coast of Canada is beautiful but the weather is tough. 

@[Bu...]Thank you for the info. Sticker shock does tend to wear off although I am still astounded by such high housing prices all over the US. Canada seems beautiful. I was discussing with a friend the other day how the grass is always greener. He moved from the US to Europe and there are many problems there. Maybe van lifers have a good point. Go live in the middle of nowhere.

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