3,2,1: Under 3 mg Valium people

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Checking in - how’s everyone doing?

I’m at 2.415 (hilarious that I think I can be that accurate). I want to keep moving down but I don’t want my body to notice. Measuring half way between tiny lines on tiny syringes is ridiculous but it’s where I’m at. 😂

 

One day is okay-ish, the next is like my brain is completely encased in jello. So weird. There’s not much rhyme or reason it seems.

I feel like I’m reaching a point where I’m going to just start a daily micro taper and keep going. Symptom based taper doesn’t seem to make much of a difference at this dose.

 

 

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Hi Tree, FP, and Lori,

I’m getting to feel like all of you. Although I’m making some progress I’m feeling more depression and anhedonia which is making my days harder to get through. Appetite is very bad and forced eating really sucks but I’m maintaining weight and getting to the gym.

It seems like life on benzos is like just existing, and getting through a day is long, lifeless, boring, and painful. I hope with the support from all of us we can make it to the end. I’m anxious to get off this poison soon but hoping that jumping at whatever dose will not prolong my symptoms afterward. It’s definitely a scary thing.

Glad to see your posts, it’s been pretty quiet on here lately.

Best of luck to all of you

Joeb

 

[[Fr...]]

Checking in - how’s everyone doing?

I’m at 2.415 (hilarious that I think I can be that accurate). I want to keep moving down but I don’t want my body to notice. Measuring half way between tiny lines on tiny syringes is ridiculous but it’s where I’m at. 😂

 

One day is okay-ish, the next is like my brain is completely encased in jello. So weird. There’s not much rhyme or reason it seems.

I feel like I’m reaching a point where I’m going to just start a daily micro taper and keep going. Symptom based taper doesn’t seem to make much of a difference at this dose.

I am the same Tree. I wish I was brave enough to go back to the daily rate I was cutting before the long hold because nothing is helping.

[[Fr...]]

Treelover,

 

I kind of agree with you on the symptom based thing.  At this dose it seems pointless to slow down or hold based on symptoms.  I'm at the point where I feel like "it is what it is" because I've had too many symptoms all along.  Two more cuts and I'm finished (.0625) and I honestly don't see any good reason to prolong it any further.  Ashton says you can jump at 1 milligram of Valium which is the equivalent to the .0625 of Xanax if you use her "estimated" conversion.  Other Pharmacology sites but it at 1 milligram to 10 (not 15) but who really knows?

 

I've been tapering for 4 years - with a one year hold - and I honestly don't see how prolonging this much longer is going to be beneficial.  Best of luck to you on this final leg of your journey!

 

Lori

We are at almost the exact same dose by your signature. What dose are you jumping at?

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Treelover,

 

I kind of agree with you on the symptom based thing.  At this dose it seems pointless to slow down or hold based on symptoms.  I'm at the point where I feel like "it is what it is" because I've had too many symptoms all along.  Two more cuts and I'm finished (.0625) and I honestly don't see any good reason to prolong it any further.  Ashton says you can jump at 1 milligram of Valium which is the equivalent to the .0625 of Xanax if you use her "estimated" conversion.  Other Pharmacology sites but it at 1 milligram to 10 (not 15) but who really knows?

 

I've been tapering for 4 years - with a one year hold - and I honestly don't see how prolonging this much longer is going to be beneficial.  Best of luck to you on this final leg of your journey!

 

Lori

We are at almost the exact same dose by your signature. What dose are you jumping at?

Hey FP curious what dose are you on? Your sig has 1.3 Librium are you on that dose ?

[[Fr...]]

Treelover,

 

I kind of agree with you on the symptom based thing.  At this dose it seems pointless to slow down or hold based on symptoms.  I'm at the point where I feel like "it is what it is" because I've had too many symptoms all along.  Two more cuts and I'm finished (.0625) and I honestly don't see any good reason to prolong it any further.  Ashton says you can jump at 1 milligram of Valium which is the equivalent to the .0625 of Xanax if you use her "estimated" conversion.  Other Pharmacology sites but it at 1 milligram to 10 (not 15) but who really knows?

 

I've been tapering for 4 years - with a one year hold - and I honestly don't see how prolonging this much longer is going to be beneficial.  Best of luck to you on this final leg of your journey!

 

Lori

We are at almost the exact same dose by your signature. What dose are you jumping at?

Hey FP curious what dose are you on? Your sig has 1.3 Librium are you on that dose ?

 

1.3 mg is my AD Viibryd. I am at 4.6 Librium or 1.847 Valium equivalent

[[Fr...]]

Oh ok good work. I thought she said to jump at .5 Valium. Are you doing ok? I have pots bad and everytime I stand up to go to the bathroom my body Freaks out. I never imagined it would get this tough

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I’m down to 2.4mg of Valium and I’m in a good window. It’s such a nice reminder that I’m still “in” there. I have had 2-3 days where I have interests in hobbies, I want to go out and do things, I don’t have to play mental games to avoid unpleasant thoughts. Sometimes those coping mechanisms occupy most thoughts for days on end.

 

This week I have gone for drives, worked on projects at home, journaled and drew some! Music sounds good again. 2 weeks ago I couldn’t tolerate music at all. Now it feels like my soul is awake. I did a yoga class and I felt like I was actually in the room. I usually feel like I’m on another planet and completely DP/DR during class. So, all that to say, I know we’re still in here somewhere. I anticipate the window closing and diving back into a rough patch. I just decreased my dose 2 days ago.

It’s so nice to come up for air every now and then.

2.4 from 2.415 two days ago. Will go down again a bit prob at day 4? Symptoms usually hit day 3 from cuts.

How is everyone?

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I’m down to 2.4mg of Valium and I’m in a good window. It’s such a nice reminder that I’m still “in” there. I have had 2-3 days where I have interests in hobbies, I want to go out and do things, I don’t have to play mental games to avoid unpleasant thoughts. Sometimes those coping mechanisms occupy most thoughts for days on end.

 

This week I have gone for drives, worked on projects at home, journaled and drew some! Music sounds good again. 2 weeks ago I couldn’t tolerate music at all. Now it feels like my soul is awake. I did a yoga class and I felt like I was actually in the room. I usually feel like I’m on another planet and completely DP/DR during class. So, all that to say, I know we’re still in here somewhere. I anticipate the window closing and diving back into a rough patch. I just decreased my dose 2 days ago.

It’s so nice to come up for air every now and then.

2.4 from 2.415 two days ago. Will go down again a bit prob at day 4? Symptoms usually hit day 3 from cuts.

How is everyone?

Good to hear from you tree. I’m so happy that your taper is going really good.

I think I’m probably going too fast. I can’t say I’ve had many good days like you describe but more like manageable days. I’d say if it’s working for you keep doing what your doing. I’m doing cut and hold based on advice I got from Slownsteady

Valium’s long half life can catch up with you and it sort of self tapers due to the long half life. So he said small weekly cuts are better. So I just started doing .25 since Jan and so far it’s been ok. But now my sxs are increasing so that’s why I’m adding days of hold time and monitoring my symptoms. It’s hard to figure out like you said and there’s always a risk. I like the idea of micro tapering but I hate switching and having to trial the liquid and lose time. If things get harder then I’ll go that route as I get lower

Congrats on getting to 2.4!

Joeb

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Joeb are you still holding? Or did you decide to go down again on Sunday?

How you feeling?

 

Creeping down - 2.39mg now and feeling the 1% drop somehow 😑

I’m going to move quicker soon. Slow is just as painful somehow.

 

 

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Hey Tree

Yea I had a couple rough days, today was better. The rough days gave way to morning anhedonia and burning in my face in the afternoons. I held yesterday and probably will today. But tomorrow I’m dropping .25. Anyway that’s the plan unless tomorrow takes a dive.

Impatience is not good for tapering. But gotta find the sweet spot of progress with minimized symptoms. It’s hard because nothing seems linear with this poison.

Joeb

 

 

 

 

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Joeb are you still holding? Or did you decide to go down again on Sunday?

How you feeling?

 

Creeping down - 2.39mg now and feeling the 1% drop somehow 😑

I’m going to move quicker soon. Slow is just as painful somehow.

Hey tree I forgot to ask what kind of symptoms are you experiencing ?

What’s your plan to go quicker ?

Joeb

 

[[Fr...]]

I am still really struggling doing a daily micro taper at about 3%. I can’t really get out of bed or talk much with our extreme stress responses. I wish I knew if I should speed  up and get it over with or if I would start to get better going slow. I am almost eight weeks in to starting to taper again and it isn’t much better plus the five month hold. A couple of different friends have said use your sleep as a guide to how fast to go since I can’t really gauge it on much of anything else since I am not functional. This is really hard guys!

 

I just read this.  I feel bad that you're struggling so much.  I think the advice on sleep is pretty good.  Maybe you should just slow down a bit and see if sleep returns.  If it does, then resume again at a slower pace?  The objective has always been to remain "functional" to allow yourself to do at least the basic necessities of self care.  Again, I'm so sorry you're having such a rough go of it.

 

Hi Lorie

That is the thing even with holding almost five months I was not functional so I don’t know how much slower you can get than holding. I have pots really bad which gives me low blood pressure and I start to see stars have the room go black like I will pass out if I am up to long. I think my body is deconditioned at this point because I have been bed bound since the hold in august and nothing f improved. I am using a toilet bucket next to the bed because I am not able to walk far with the pots blood pressure situation this past week. I tried to increase to four % and the blood pressure dizziness vertigo came on so I guess it’s to much for me but at 3% I fear how long this last little bit will take and how long until I am recovered and can be upright.

[[Ni...]]

Cutting to from 1.5 mg to 1 mg of valium tomorrow, I will take 0.5 mg in the morning and 0.5 mg in the evening starting from tomorrow. So far no real symptoms other than music playing in my head all the time and moderate erectile dysfunction.

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Joeb - at about 3 days off my visual perceptions get weird. Things look wrong, and where I am in space feels different that what my eyes tell me. It’s a proprioception kind of weirdness I guess?

 

Legs feel like they’re not completely in my control. Then I have this feeling like I’m not anchored to the earth, like I could just float off into space. Wearing a hat helps somehow - like the snugness helps me keep myself oriented.

I have some tingling in random places, sometimes my face, sometimes my scalp, toes, private parts.

 

Then the old dread, anxiety out of the blue, sadness to think this will never end, etc.

DP/DR feeling like I’m in jello and super confused by everything. Loud sounds, brightness, make me want to hide.

 

When it lets up I feel pretty ok!

 

Nik - good work moving down again! You’re getting so close!

 

 

 

[[Ni...]]

Joeb - at about 3 days off my visual perceptions get weird. Things look wrong, and where I am in space feels different that what my eyes tell me. It’s a proprioception kind of weirdness I guess?

 

Legs feel like they’re not completely in my control. Then I have this feeling like I’m not anchored to the earth, like I could just float off into space. Wearing a hat helps somehow - like the snugness helps me keep myself oriented.

I have some tingling in random places, sometimes my face, sometimes my scalp, toes, private parts.

 

Then the old dread, anxiety out of the blue, sadness to think this will never end, etc.

DP/DR feeling like I’m in jello and super confused by everything. Loud sounds, brightness, make me want to hide.

 

When it lets up I feel pretty ok!

 

Nik - good work moving down again! You’re getting so close!

 

Thanks! Symptoms have been so minimal to none other than ED so far so I consider myself lucky that it's going so smoothly! I advice anyone on another drug to consider that their withdrawal symptoms might be exacerbated by 100% due to that drug. Reducing my risperdal dose from 3 to 1 mg was a Godsend. It reduced my benzo withdrawal symptoms to almost not noticeable.

[[ki...]]

Nikitis, I'm so glad to see how far you've come! You're catching up to me and sound like you're getting there! Good for you!!

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My plan this month is to decrease 0.1mg per week.

Please cross your fingers that this is tolerable. 🤞🏼

If I can keep this up I will be ready to jump off in 20ish weeks.

Current dose (as of last night) 2.3mg.

 

Strap in! We’re going on an adventure!

 

[[ki...]]

You've got this, Treelover! Just listen to your body and you will get there!

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Hi everyone, checking in. I’ve been having some very rough mornings with anhedonia, intrusive thoughts, depression. Already past my 7-10 cut period. Getting harder for me at the lower doses.

Currently holding pending these symptoms lightening up

Tree looks like your heading down well, it’s good your symptoms lighten up.

Nikitis your doing awesome, it’s great you figured out what was happening

Hi Kitsune your getting very low, are you going to zero to jump?

I can’t wait to be done with this ugh

Joeb

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Joeb - anything easing up?

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Joeb - anything easing up?

Hi Tree feeling better today, this week was pretty rough. Probably cut to 1mg today. May have to switch to DMT not sure yet. Gonna see how this one goes.

How are you doing? Hopefully good.

Joeb

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I dropped from 2.4 to 2.3mg - this is day 5 since drop.

 

I spent all day yesterday in bed with vertigo 😬. Anytime I moved my head I got the spins. I’d wake up, take a meclizine and go back to sleep.

It was still lingering this morning so I am still here.

It’s like my inner ear couldn’t keep up with any sort of head movement. I’ve had that with a really bad hangover before. Small bits of it wirh V taper, but not this long.

I had the same thing for about 4 hours one day when I did my big drop in dec/Jan. This is awful.

I guess my plan of 0.1mg per week is out the window.

 

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Hi all, checking in again. Sorry to hear about your vertigo Tree I got that last year when I had a drink while on Ativan luckily it’s not repeated itself. This past cut was rough for some reason. I had to hold a little over 2 weeks. I made my cut yesterday to 1mg. Today was the first day in a long time that I got a decent window. I’m praying that my stability continues but I know these lower doses are tricky and harder so we’ll see. On Monday I drove up to the Dr Starr Wellness center in arroyo grande CA to try an NAD treatment. Here’s a thread on bb that talks about it. http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=219868.0.

There’s been mixed reviews but a lot of positive ones. Some have used it to get past sticky points in their  taper while others have used it to detox off. Pls check out the thread for more info since I don’t have detailed knowledge on it. But I’m hoping that it’s the reason for my good day today and that it will help with the wd from this cut. I’ll let you know how it goes.

How is everyone doing? Tree? Kitsune? Nikitis ? Candace? Marie? Lori? Fruity pop ? Others? Been kinda quiet on these boards

Joeb

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Joeb - hope the NAD helps out! Sorry you’ve had rough weeks. It continually surprises me how hard it is to get off this medicine.

 

In addition to vertigo,  I mentally went to a very dark place. Anhedonia doesn’t describe it. You just feel vacant and also dysphoric. Nothing feels ok. At this point I would gladly accept a day that is just “ok” I don’t need good. Just not awful. I’m heading in the right direction, but still spent 4 or so hours in bed today completely overwhelmed and just feeling lost in space.

Also called a benzo friend and cried on the phone for an hour or so.

It’s crazy how you can’t remember ever feeling ok - even when clearly a week or so ago, I felt good enough to dive in again on tapering.

 

If I slow it down more, it looks like I’ll be closer to January if next year before I’m done. Very disheartening.