18 - 30 Month Plus Group

[[pr...]]

"Can somebody help me out" in the protracted section

 

 

what do you need help with?

 

TM,

 

oh i found Jan's thread in the protracted the lady with 13 years. she is also having trouble knowing if she has a b12 deficiency.

[[Lo...]]

Just wondering what happened to novascottia the buddie who started this thread. Has she healed and moved on?

[[so...]]

Lockie,

 

Nova Scotia and the original group, who started all the 6-12, 12-18 and 18-30 month threads, formed a private FB group.  Mrsalw pops in here from time to time and has told us that some of them have recovered or are doing much better.  They are all about a year ahead of us.

 

Sofa

[[Lo...]]

Thats great to hear 

[[so...]]

Buddies,

 

Woke up with the adrenaline dread rush again.  It takes everything I've got to convince myself this will go away someday.  Geographic tongue is spreading and doing its thing.  Geez.  I know this is all a response to stress.  Dammit.  It takes a couple of weeks to settle down.  Unreal.

 

Sofa

[[so...]]

Lockie,

 

I watched Baylissa's video on "Permanent Damage" just before bedtime.  It was a very positive reassuring message that we all heal from benzo withdrawal.  No exceptions, per Baylissa, Una Corbett and Heather Ashton.  They don't know of anyone who didn't heal.

 

Sofa

[[so...]]

It's hard to accept my inability to handle any stress and try to have faith that I eventually will be able to roll with life's bumps and curves.  One day of stress, followed by two plus weeks of a frigging wave is no way to live.

 

Sofa

[[...]]

It's hard to accept my inability to handle any stress and try to have faith that I eventually will be able to roll with life's bumps and curves.  One day of stress, followed by two plus weeks of a frigging wave is no way to live.

 

Sofa

 

I agree Sofa. I'm on day 3 off sick from work. I've never felt as ill in my life.Trying to stop myself running to Dr saying I think I'm dying (would welcome that right now) and going insane. I'm trying to get hold of Ian, It's not easy.

 

 

PD thank you for the reassurance about the Ebay thing. The saga continues and it's freaking me out. Then I can't fathom why it's freaking me out, making it worse.

[[so...]]

Marj,

 

The eBay customer is your stressor.  If you're like me, the stressor hits and it takes awhile to settle down the CNS.  Yesterday I had to fight off the DP.  I got the RLS last night too.  It's "craptacular."  That's Nomne's word for it.

 

Sofa

[[...]]

Sofa, this crap is the stressor, things like an irritating ebay customer just ramp it up. That and the fear I'm going to be housebound at the 3 year mark. Yes I am like that, things just stick, whereas we'd just flick them off before. My whole body and brain is throbbing right now, absolutely zero energy, can't breathe. It is the most craptacular thing ever. Apparently it ends, have to keep telling ourselves. 

[[Lo...]]

How the fuck can i be getting so much worse?? I was doing so much better 2 months ago. My whole nervous system feels like its inflamed including my brain feeling like its pressing hard up against my skull. I feel toxic from head to toe.

 

Bed covers on - too hot , bed covers off - too cold. Rolling around restless with dry mouth feeling thirsty yet going to the toilet every hour.

 

Its like a whole new level of hell is opening up at 21 months off. I dont get it. There have been so many times i thought i nearly had it beat only to get smashed back to the gates of hell.

 

I dont know how much longer i can put up with this shit. 5 months till the baby is due and im getting worse not better. 2 months ago i had my personality back and was feeling not too bad. Seriously WTF ??

[[so...]]

Lockie,

 

This is exactly how I was "progressing" at your timeframe off, except I didn't have a period where I felt a lot better.  I was getting slammed with the rapid cycling of symptoms.  I felt I was getting worse, not better.  Since we all seem to move forward like this, I have to assume that healing happens this way.  The whole shitty non-linear nature of this beast.  You are normal, although it's not much of a consolation.  You are also in a loop of fear about the upcoming birth of your baby.  I'm sure Drew can weigh in on this. 

 

I was notified six months in advance of the two hour drive and four hour doctor appointment I did last Thursday.  I dreaded the appointment for six months.  The day came and my CNS made my heart pound and race all through the night.  I'm still reeling from Thursday and trying to wait out the settling down that needs to take place. 

 

I know you're sick of all this.  From reading everyone's posts on this thread, we all seem to be in the same place.  Completely disgusted with withdrawal and recovery.  We all seem pissed and tired of it.

 

It gets easier as time goes on.  You got a good lift a couple of months ago and it will happen again, only the lift will be higher.

 

Sofa

 

 

[[ne...]]

How the fuck can i be getting so much worse?? I was doing so much better 2 months ago. My whole nervous system feels like its inflamed including my brain feeling like its pressing hard up against my skull. I feel toxic from head to toe.

 

Bed covers on - too hot , bed covers off - too cold. Rolling around restless with dry mouth feeling thirsty yet going to the toilet every hour.

 

Its like a whole new level of hell is opening up at 21 months off. I dont get it. There have been so many times i thought i nearly had it beat only to get smashed back to the gates of hell.

 

I dont know how much longer i can put up with this shit. 5 months till the baby is due and im getting worse not better. 2 months ago i had my personality back and was feeling not too bad. Seriously WTF ??

 

Lockie, I can certainly relate!  This must be the hardest thing any of us have ever done ...for me today the muscle pain has been off the scale! It moves....the pain moves from one place to another but always in my back, neck and legs.

 

Surely it must get easier at some point?  I`m so sorry we`re all getting hit this bad and its just not fair that you`ve got a beautiful baby on the way, yet suffering when you should be enjoying this time.

 

I wish more than anything, we could all wake tomorrow and this is over!

[[so...]]

Buddies,

 

I'm having a really hard time.  My heart is racing so fast.  I cannot control it no matter what I do.  Anxiety is off the charts.  Blubbering like a crazed idiot.  Trying to calm down.  Breathing.  Nothing helps.  Walking.  Nothing.  This must stop!

 

Sofa

[[Fl...]]

Maybe you got overwhelmed by all the people and activities on the weekend.  You did a lot, plus the appointment last week.  It just sucks that everything is so stressful.  I can't stand waking up, never mind getting up to face the day.  Can't stand loud tv or people talking.  I feel like I don't belong on earth.  Hope your heart settles down.❤️❤️

[[so...]]

Thanks Flicka.  I'll be okay.  This will pass.

 

Sofa

[[Mi...]]

Can anyone point me to Nova Scotia's FB page?  I haven't checked in with them in a long time.  Thank you!

[[Te...]]

You ok Sofa?

 

So last night I slept 2 1/2 hours.....I was twitching so bad all over or it was jumping from one muscle to another...and I felt like vibrating...I had the worst anxiety...

 

Does anyone else here have muscle twitching? I thought it had calmed way down but it's getting worse again....

 

TM

 

[[...]]

Hang in there Sofa. There must be something going on with the universe right now, so much suffering. Apparently healing hurts and the symptoms means stuffs going on. I know that probably doesn't help, but we are moving forward all the time. I can't believe how bad it's been recently. Today was not as bad but still crap. I've been told it's really not unusual to feel worse, more intense symptoms. It's so discouraging I know. Just get through the day best you can.

 

TM I asked about teeth and mouth stuff. It wasn't Ian, but someone else with lots of experience and it's really common. I have it too, birning mouth, throat, tight teeth. I've never been aware of my teeth before this (unless a toothache) but this is the whole set of teeth, it's so weird, but it's normal. I have tight ears too!!!

 

I'm forcing myself to go back to work tomorrow, I've got to or I worry I never will. This is unreal, lots of praying tonight for some strength. Life sucks right now.

[[...]]

TM, I jump a lot while 'trying' to fall asleep. It's like sort of jolts. My muscles just hurt, they do twitch but not too bothersome.

 

[[Si...]]

I'm here with you marj and lockie. This shit can definitely be up and down.

 

Marj I had to take almost two weeks off of work at the beginning of March. I could barely function at home. I tried working from home and couldn't even figure out what the hell I was doing. Ended up just giving up on working from home. And this is something I've been doing for more than 20 years. The normal me would run circles around the projects I work on. I was really worried about heading back to work after being off. It was difficult, but I couldn't stand sitting at home anymore. Just take some days if you need them. We all know how hard this stuff is.

 

I still feel like crap today. I just feel sick and that's all there is to it. I'd probably be able to handle the 4-½ sleep I've gotten the last few days if I didn't feel like such a pile. I just hope all of this far out GP get over the hump soon.

[[Si...]]

TM, I jump a lot while 'trying' to fall asleep. It's like sort of jolts. My muscles just hurt, they do twitch but not too bothersome.

 

 

Yep hypnic jerks. Even my wife gets those sometimes and she's a champion sleeper. The rare times I get sleepy it happens to me. I've also had a lot of random limb jerking.

[[Lo...]]

Thanks for the support everyone sometimes it just gets overwhelming. Managed 6 hours sleep and after that inital "hit by a bus" feeling this morning actually not too bad just a bit sore. I was on my feet all day yesterday so maybe just pushed too hard.

 

Sorry you are so rough sofa and thanks for the support. Hope you have calmed down a bit. That goes for everyone actually  seems like we are all in a shitty place right now

[[Te...]]

Thanks Marj for asking about teeth issues your such an angel.......hope work goes ok tomorrow

 

Hugs

TM

 

[[Lo...]]

Went to see my Chinese herbal doctor today and was interesting having a chat while he checked up on me. I mentioned  the toxic feeling like i have been poisioned and he explained that while your nervous system is sensitive and compromised your organs arnt getting all the signals to operate correctly and can cause a build up of toxins.

 

Found this very interesting and makes sense. But dont worry he said its nothing to worry about and also mentioned this is why diet and clean living is so important in WD.