18 - 30 Month Plus Group

[[...]]

Thanks for replies. I guess Im having one of those times when I feel there has to be something wrong with me. I dont google but I was looking up about another issue and came across the endocrine system thing and different hormone imbalances and I was convinced.

 

Ive just got back from York as I forced myself to go for the afternoon with my daughter. Not great and it was so hard,  its mothers day here on sunday and I wanted to get something for my mum.  I just felt weird,  fatigued, DR,  head crap,  and my neck feels broken,  mouth and teeth stuff,  basically felt shit. I went though,  and was hoping it might lift with the distraction. No,  not at all. So sick of this,  its no life. Seeing people just sitting in coffee shops,  socializing and out and about normal seems a million miles away  :'(

[[Te...]]

Sorry Marj.....you described how my days seem lately.....just want old normal self back....

 

 

Hugs

TM

 

[[...]]

Totally get it TM, meltdown here hugs

[[bc...]]

Thanks, Texas mama and nevercantell for your welcome.....

 

 

[[Lo...]]

Hey Marj. I spent alot of time on Dr Google and convinced myself it was a hormone imbalance too but it all comes back to benzos. If your issues started during taper and got worse post jump its obviously benzos. Just so hard to believe it can be WD so far down the track but it is.

 

If you google CNS healing timeline it states normal nerves take a long time to heal but when it comes to CNS it is alot more complicated and takes even longer

[[so...]]

Lockie,

 

I just googled CNS regeneration timelines.  OMG!  My brain is fried just trying to get the gist of what they are talking about.  Guess it takes a looooong f*cking time.  But then, we knew that. 

 

Sofa

[[MT...]]

How many of you have had extensive blood tests for the endocrine system? If so what were the results. You know when you have a massive what if or if someone plants a seed.

 

I had a gazillion tubes of blood for endocrine tests done and everything came back normal. Cost a fortune. I guess it put my mind to ease since it seemed like an endocrine tumor at the time (before I discovered BB). I think our endocrine systems are disrupted by wd, creating lots of bizarre symptoms, but not truly damaged. At least not permanently or in a way that shows up on tests.

[[fi...]]

I had either 11 or 13 vials of blood drawn several years ago by my endo and nothing out of the ordinary was revealed.  You would think as bad as we feel that something would show up in the blood work, but that is generally not the case.

[[Lo...]]

How many of you have had extensive blood tests for the endocrine system? If so what were the results. You know when you have a massive what if or if someone plants a seed.

 

I had a gazillion tubes of blood for endocrine tests done and everything came back normal. Cost a fortune. I guess it put my mind to ease since it seemed like an endocrine tumor at the time (before I discovered BB). I think our endocrine systems are disrupted by wd, creating lots of bizarre symptoms, but not truly damaged. At least not permanently or in a way that shows up on tests.

 

Hi MT , i know you were doing alot of excersise awhile back and wondering if you are still doing it and do you think it is  helping with recovery?? My doctor is pushing me to do some cardio

[[...]]

Thank you all for your replies about blood tests. It sounds like it's pointless and the damage done is temporary. It's so strange and makes no sense 

[[mr...]]

How many of you have had extensive blood tests for the endocrine system? If so what were the results. You know when you have a massive what if or if someone plants a seed.

 

I had a gazillion tubes of blood for endocrine tests done and everything came back normal. Cost a fortune. I guess it put my mind to ease since it seemed like an endocrine tumor at the time (before I discovered BB). I think our endocrine systems are disrupted by wd, creating lots of bizarre symptoms, but not truly damaged. At least not permanently or in a way that shows up on tests.

 

Mrs. <~~ human pin cushion. 

 

All tests normal. Yee-hah!

 

Mrs.

[[Lo...]]

Pretty quiet on here ATM, i hope its because we are all having windows! Managed some exercise yesterday woke up bit average today but not too bad. Hoping i can start to build my body up again.

[[...]]

Yes it's quiet Lockie. Thanks Mrs for the reassurance 

 

My day improved yesterday, everything just died down and managed to get on with my day. Ate quite a bit of sugar like an idiot last night, bad night of burning, that internal furnes feeling, the worst fatigue, feels like poison running through my veins etc. Don't know why I do this to myself. It was a lemon torte like cake from Betty's in York who do cakes to die for (get that saying now) totally delicious. I also had some chocolate biscuits. I've had one before and been ok, but I was stupid. So sick of this shit, convinced I have MS, CFS bla bla bla 

[[so...]]

Hi Buddies,

 

My cortisol heart rate raced this morning at 110 bpm.  I was wondering if any of you get a racing heart when you first wake up in the morning too.

 

Thanks,

 

Sofa

[[Lo...]]

Bedtime and feel like my whole CNS is inflamed and angry. Anyone else get this? such a disgusting feeling , blah.

 

Baby getting closer and time seems to be flying yet im still so sick. How the f@#k am i supposed to support my family? Im trying so hard - diet and exersise but nothing works , still cant work and feeling so useless. Digging deep to push on but so hard when you seem to be going backwards. Stress is mounting and i feel like im drowning.

 

i used to look after a whole underground mine site by myself  - drill rigs , rock crusher , conveyor systems now i cant even install a powerpoint at a friends house without 2 panic attacks and spending the rest of the day on the couch.

 

Sorry about the morbid post but i just cant come to terms with or accept ive been unable to work at a decent capacity for 2.5 years and how badly this shit has damaged me. If you asked me 3 months ago id tell you im nearly healed now ar 21 months i dont know what to say.

 

Just so fucking sick of suffering

 

 

[[bc...]]

So sorry to hear everyone is still suffering so much......wish this nightmare would end for all of us.

 

Sofa.....sorry your heart rate was up.....I hope things will calm down some....mine is usually low although the blood pressure tends to spike a bit...I do get the heart palps........woke up in the middle of the night with the horrible adrenaline surging thru body like I was plugged into an electrical outlet....horrible feeling so out of control....feel like some alien has invaded my body.....feel so foreign.....just want my life back.....this feeling usually continues thru the day....not much to look forward to.

 

Lockie.....sorry you are struggling again....this is criminal. Hoping that sxs calm down for you real soon.  The non-linear healing is so difficult to cope with....just when you think that you can see the flicker of light at the end of the tunnel....it gets blown out. 

 

It is amazing that we still have some sanity in all this mess.....although I question mine at times.

 

Hoping for peace and calm for us all.......

 

 

[[Lo...]]

Thanks Becalm, i hope the electrical jolts stop for you soon.

 

Cant wait till we all start healing and have positive more things to post about . This is such bullshit

[[bc...]]

Sure waiting for that day that things are more positive.   

 

I wish that my mental clarity would come back....hate living in this mental fog of not being "myself".....can't function like this.....feels like there is a switch that needs to be turned on....everything is so overwhelming....want this all to stop.

 

Hoping one day soon things will change.....Every night I go to bed thinking maybe tomorrow will be better....only to wake up to the same cr** again....how disheartening.  So hard to keep going when every day and night is the same.....full of awful sxs.

 

 

 

[[Si...]]

I slept pretty good Friday night, about 8-½ hours. I've only had a few of those the past three months. I felt relatively ok. We went to see Trainspotting 2 in the afternoon. Was hoping to get a decent night last night. Started getting sleepy on the sofa, but on empty I got in bed I had a hard time falling asleep. Then I woke up around 2:30am. So I barely got a couple of hours. Couldn't go back to sleep other than really light micro sleeps. Feel like total crap today and I'm super depressed to still be dealing with this.

[[ne...]]

 

Hoping one day soon things will change.....Every night I go to bed thinking maybe tomorrow will be better....only to wake up to the same cr** again....how disheartening.  So hard to keep going when every day and night is the same.....full of awful sxs.

 

 

bcalm2, Yes to all of that.

 

I`ve been sat on my couch (again) all day with my back and neck feeling like they`re broken, with fatigue, tinnitus and sore eyes thrown in for good measure.

 

Sorry buddies you`re all going through this hell too ....surely we ought to see some healing soon?

[[bc...]]

Sorry, nevercantell.....that you are feeling the same way.....such a difficult way to spend our life.....used to be happy and healthy and now I am miserable and weak.

 

This anxiety/cortisol/adrenaline/glutamate or whatever it is that is hitting me 24/7 is unbelievable.....if this one hugh sxs would leave....I could deal better with the rest....but with this slamming me everyday....I tend to lose hope.

 

Hoping your sxs calm down soon........Did you every struggle with the anxiety stuff....like being overwhelmed, irritable, dp or mental fog....tremors and rapid breathing?

 

I guess we just have to hang on.....for another day.

[[mr...]]

Hi Buddies,

 

My cortisol heart rate raced this morning at 110 bpm.  I was wondering if any of you get a racing heart when you first wake up in the morning too.

 

Thanks,

 

Sofa

 

Hi Sofa,

 

Elevated heartrate: YES. And after eating. And after exercise. And after blinking. (just kidding!) This has been one of my LEAST favorite symptoms, to date. My history with it has been similar to this: 100-115bpm at rest, when elevated. If I'm up and moving (just casual, like to go from my desk to the potty), 115-135bpm, dependent on what I'm doing. If I'm panicking, 130-170bpm, depending on the intensity of panic. But today is a new day, and I'm believing for the best and total healing.

 

I've been to four different doctors about it, and most recently a specialist in electo-cardiology (the electrical impulses of the heart and bpm, etc). He practically laughed me out of the office. I asked him "how high is 'too high'", and he said "there is no "upper limit", upper limits are for people with heart diseases and arrhythmias, which you do not have." He then went on to tell me that he's in his mid 60s and gets his heartrate up to 190-200bpm weekly doing bicycle rides. And then, my hubby and him chatted about bicycles for the next 20 minutes (my hubby manages a bicycle & fitness store). After that, I figured: if four doctors and two cardiologists are unconcerned with my heart and say it's normal, then I'm not going to put any more wasted time (or money) into it either. It hasn't been a perfect battle in "letting it go" since then, but it's been better

 

Moral of the story, IMO: get yourself checked out. Thoroughly. And then, let it go as best you can. Easier said than done It sucks, but all fingers point in the direction of this crap leaving permanently someday Hooray! Can it be tomorrow, please??

 

Mrs.

[[so...]]

Mrs,

 

God bless you for everything you said!  I no longer feel like maybe there is something unusually wrong and I am grateful to you for that.  I have had my heart checked several times over the past ten years prior to five surgeries.  Plus, a doctor checked out my heart when I coded on the operating table the last surgery.  All was fine.  I'm reluctant to get it checked out further for fear they will find "something," so I will wait until withdrawal is over if there's anything still hanging around.  At least my heart rate is steady with no skipped beats that I can feel.  After 15 min. after getting up with the cortisol spike, it decreases by 30 bpm.  So that's good.  It is the thing that's most distressing to me, the early cortisol alarm every morning, as you know.  Thank you for your beautiful reassurance.

 

Love, Sofa

[[so...]]

Lockie,

 

Let me share with you what happened to me a week ago, March 16th, as it relates to maybe what you are going through.

 

Six months earlier, I was notified by attorneys in my workers comp lawsuit of a four hour doctor's appointment, to which I would have to drive two hours up and back.  It was six months away, so I didn't give it constant stressing thoughts every day.  I kept thinking and hoping I would surely be healed by that time but, the closer the appointment got and I was still suffering with symptoms, the more frequently I would ruminate about and fear the upcoming dreaded event.  The night before the appointment my heart raced and pounded and it went on for six hours, of course with no sleep.  The ride up with my son was so pleasant and distracting, but I was anxious to say the least.  I bawled my eyes out all four hours of the appointment.  When it was over, I was so relieved.  My nightmare, however, was just beginning.

 

Over this past week, I have been descending from the stressful mountain top with a boatload of new and recurring symptoms.  Anxiety has been through the roof.  See, for me, once the stressor hits is just the beginning.  Violent symptoms ensue for the first couple of days after the stressor deals me the first big blow.  For a week after those first few uptick days, I suffer with all kinds of various flare ups.  After two weeks, I'm usually done with the cycle.

 

I tell you this because of your pregnancy and the upcoming birth of your first child.  I bet you are feeling a lot of what I was feeling anticipating this upcoming dreaded appointment of mine, and your event is a much bigger deal than mine.  You are hoping desperately to be done with this crap by the blessed event.  Lockie, if you're still in this when that day arrives, like I was, it's okay.  You'll do great when you need to step up to the plate.  Your CNS will carry you through it with flying colors.  What may happen is, afterwards, you might have to descend the summit with some flare ups.  It's okay.  Your wife and baby will be bonding tightly.  There will be very little for you to do, except hold the baby as much as you feel like.  Your "job" is minimal.  We mothers do all the work at first.

 

This is your first child and you have no idea what to expect.  I had no idea what to expect during my appointment either.  It is amazing how our CNS carries us through the moment quite easily.  It's the aftermath that will take you by surprise.  You don't need to fear, however, if you keep telling yourself, "I reached the summit, planted my flag and took photos of the event.  Now I will descend the mountain top and settle into base camp once again."

 

Sofa

[[so...]]

Bcalm and NCT,

 

Yes, yes, YES to the adrenaline and electrical surges.  They are challenging symptoms and heighten the anxiety inside us.  All normal for withdrawal.  These are still with me, as you well know, but not nearly as constant, strong and debilitating as they once were.  These symptoms settle down and then peter out.  Even the stubborn ones.

 

Sofa