Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group

[[pu...]]

hi group,

 

I'm just a few days short of TEN months off, and while most of my symptoms are gone, the few nagging leftovers have really got me down.  I start a new job in a month and need all the energy I can get, but it seems that no matter how much i sleep, I look and feel exhausted.  People are always asking me if I get any sleep at all (I get 6-8 hours).  I have posted all over bb to find people with this fake sleep problem.  I thought about maybe going back to a sleep clinic and insisting they keep me over night, but even if they do find that I'm not getting deep sleep, can they even do anything?

 

Good question, I don't know what the sleep lab people do about lack of deep sleep.  But that reminds me I have a book about sleep that seemed to be written with a lot of knowledge of that (sleep lab) point of view.  Not sure which sleep book that was.... hummmm...

 

Are you familiar with binural beat brainwave entrainment -- or hemisynch?  I don't know if it would help you, but it might?

Search for "kelly howell" or "the monroe institute" --- read whatever they have about how the hemisynch stuff works.

Maybe buy one of their deep sleep type CDs, if you feel it is worth spending the money to try.

 

With that said, I don't sleep as deeply as I'd like, and I use this kind of CD all the time.  But I suspect I sleep a lot better than I would without it. Not that I'm going to try that out to see

 

There are other things you could try for deeper sleep -- like hypnosis tapes (should be pretty cheap, I don't think you'd need a customized one) (maybe I should try this LOL -- I'm sure I have old cassette tapes somewhere with this kind of sleep induction stuff), vitamin D3......

what else??

 

 

[[pu...]]

I just looked on Kelly Howell's website for CD's related to sleep.  There are several.  Posting link below as an example.

This one looks particularly good to me, I think I should buy it!

http://www.brainsync.com/audio-store/brain-health/insomnia/slow-wave-sleep.html

 

 

[[Ho...]]

Hope all post benzo buddies are faring well.

 

Vertigo

 

Hey Vertigo, I was reading your success story and you mentioned that you had the dizziness and faint feelings (which are the two that plague me).  when did they disappear for you?  Thanks!

[[ve...]]

Hope all post benzo buddies are faring well.

 

Vertigo

 

Hey Vertigo, I was reading your success story and you mentioned that you had the dizziness and faint feelings (which are the two that plague me).  when did they disappear for you?  Thanks!

 

Hi Hoosier.  First, the vertigo, which was the worst of dizzies I had (a few weeks after c/t back in 2008), disappeared after I reinstated.  I was fortunate to not have the vertigo return during that year of reinstatement and tapering.  However, after the last dose of my taper, I experienced occasional instances of elevated blood pressure in the first year off, which seemed to cause some mild dizzies or faint feelings at times.  During the first six to nine months, I attributed it mostly to the post benzo healing.  In the next six months, I felt that slight occasional dizziness was probably more related to blood pressure and weight gain I had experienced.  I also occasionally felt these feelings upon reintroducing small to moderate amounts of wine (1-3 glasses) during the 2nd year off.  Sometimes after getting up from the sofa after a couple glasses of wine, I would feel a little faint, which could have been the wine, a blood pressure change or less likely something  related to some CNS post benzo weakness or ongoing incomplete healing.  I don't know if that answers the question.  For me, the first nine months off seemed to include post benzo symptoms but there were other health issues that arose, from a lack of enough exercise and 10-15lb weight gain after a more active summer which included not the best dietary choices that first summer off the benzo.  Everyone will react a little differently based on many factors such as how long they were on the benzo, dose, other medications still taken or being tapered, whether one is using alcohol or not (which I do not recommend in the first year off), family history, level of support one has, age... and others. 

 

Best wishes,

 

Vertigo

[[Ma...]]

Hi all. Just checking in.

 

Over a year off and my lord the Vertigo/dizziness is so awful. When that gets bad, I twitch all over. Blink stutter, move all over all day long. I feel like a mutant right now. I had 3 "windows" where the vertigo dropped to about 10-20% and when that happened the twticng all over went away for the most part. It seems it is its worst now at almost 14 months off. I am seeing my neurologist today as he is pretty savy and actually believes me. My addiction pysch doc believes me when she is not cranky.

 

God I am starting to feel like this is never ending. I know I was on a lot of Klonopin for a 8 years but this is insane. I have not worked in almost two years now and cannot see how I can go back. I so want to go back to get my masters and work again but feel so awful. The vertigo gets so bad I just lay around for hours trying to make it go away. Then when I get up I twitch and blink/stutter all over like I have tourettes syndrome or a tick disorder. Just I am 39 and I did not have a tick or twitch prior to 2003 when I started benzo's and I did not have all these tweaks during benzos.

 

 

Halp!!!

 

 

[[Ho...]]

Max,

 

What did your neurologist say?

 

Reading through a bunch of the success stories the past few days, it does seem that the dizziness is a stubborn symptom.  But, the people who had it have it disappear in the 10 - 18 month range.  I know Bliss had it bad, and she had waves of it up to the end.  Do you still get it constantly (24/7) or does it go in windows and waves for you.  For me right now it is constant.

 

I did do PT for the dizziness for a couple of months in the fall and I can't say that it really helped -- probably b/c its related to the GABA / Glutamate imbalance rather than "retraining" of my vestibular system (if that makes sense -- I don't think we can train our brains to make more GABA!) 

[[kl...]]

hi all,

 

I've been seriously wondering lately whether I'm still in withdrawal or just back to my old chronically tired self.  All the hellish symptoms are GONE, including dr/dp, fear, depression, severe insomnia, etc.  I'm just scared that my old self will never find a solution to being tired all the time.  I'm not dysfunctional, but you can see the fatigue clearly in my face; i have aged since I got off benzos, but i didn't look too good in the first place.

 

When I first took klonopin, all my problems were literally solved overnight.  I woke up and felt AMAZING every day, with a great job, a girlfriend, and limitless energy- I could get up at DAWN, work 10-12 hours, drive 2 hours home, then party til 1 in the morning.  Once I developed tolerance to a reasonably high dose though the dream was over.  It's been nearly 2 years since I decided to quit and I don't even remember what it feels like to get up and feel OK.  I'm so terribly tired its ridiculous.  I have tried every remedy on earth to sleep deeper but it seems I'm just hardwired for tired.

[Guest [to...]]

hi all,

 

I've been seriously wondering lately whether I'm still in withdrawal or just back to my old chronically tired self.  All the hellish symptoms are GONE, including dr/dp, fear, depression, severe insomnia, etc.  I'm just scared that my old self will never find a solution to being tired all the time.  I'm not dysfunctional, but you can see the fatigue clearly in my face; i have aged since I got off benzos, but i didn't look too good in the first place.

 

When I first took klonopin, all my problems were literally solved overnight.  I woke up and felt AMAZING every day, with a great job, a girlfriend, and limitless energy- I could get up at DAWN, work 10-12 hours, drive 2 hours home, then party til 1 in the morning.  Once I developed tolerance to a reasonably high dose though the dream was over.  It's been nearly 2 years since I decided to quit and I don't even remember what it feels like to get up and feel OK.  I'm so terribly tired its ridiculous.  I have tried every remedy on earth to sleep deeper but it seems I'm just hardwired for tired.

 

Hi Klonopinned,

 

I hear you..... I thought the same.... I didnt have the fainted idea what I was taking and just told I needed to take it!!!

Thats great that  most your symptoms have subsided, I am so happy for you congratulations . 

I guess like every thing else sleep will come when the body and brain are ready to receive.

It is truly wonderful the symptoms have healed.

 

Peace love and healing

 

Towardsthesun

 

 

[[Ma...]]

Max,

 

What did your neurologist say?

 

Reading through a bunch of the success stories the past few days, it does seem that the dizziness is a stubborn symptom.  But, the people who had it have it disappear in the 10 - 18 month range.  I know Bliss had it bad, and she had waves of it up to the end.  Do you still get it constantly (24/7) or does it go in windows and waves for you.  For me right now it is constant.

 

I did do PT for the dizziness for a couple of months in the fall and I can't say that it really helped -- probably b/c its related to the GABA / Glutamate imbalance rather than "retraining" of my vestibular system (if that makes sense -- I don't think we can train our brains to make more GABA!) 

 

Thanks for the reply.

 

Not so great with the Neurologist. He is very smart and knows I am in WD. But in a nut shell he said I need to plan my future, set goals and this will take care of it's self. Sucks but it is ahrd for me to plan anything when I am dizzy all day long and twitch all over. But hope lies in you guys who have had all this and it does go away. I have to keep reminding myself what I was like before benzo's and I did not have all of this. The twitching is the worst part. I can barley walk into a store and order or converse with the store staff as I lock up and stutter. during my recent windows when the dizziness dies down so did the twitching and I did not stutter at all during the windows. ughh. thanks again!

[[Su...]]

I don't know whether this floaty boat sensation that I feel is actually dizziness, as I remember having severe dizziness many years ago that nearly put me on my butt.    I felt this floating, rocking, after the c/t....and then again at the end of my taper, that lasted on for 6 to 8 weeks.  I thought that I was free of that symptom....but it came back at 22 months off....and is still with me.     

[[lo...]]

Hi All,

 

I also have the same feeling of floating or feeling off balance which in itself causes other unpleasant feelings to arise, usually worse in the morning, much better when evening arrives. I have tried Gravol 25-50mg to help with this vertigo with good effect. You may want to try this but it does have a sedative effect so you may feel sleepy, try 1/2 tab to begin with.

 

Hope this helps

Long time

 

 

[[Ma...]]

I don't know whether this floaty boat sensation that I feel is actually dizziness, as I remember having severe dizziness many years ago that nearly put me on my butt.    I felt this floating, rocking, after the c/t....and then again at the end of my taper, that lasted on for 6 to 8 weeks.  I thought that I was free of that symptom....but it came back at 22 months off....and is still with me.   

 

Bingo that is it. A rocking boat feeling. not enough to really make me queezy but it is horrible.

[[ve...]]

c

[[ve...]]

v

[[ve...]]

Happy St. Pat's Day!

 

V

[[ro...]]

Happy St. Patty's Day to you too!

 

Chugging through some more recovery time.  But some symptoms have let up -- in intensity and in frequency.  All good!!

 

Best regards,

Rocko

 

P.S.  Yep, I'm still lurking and reading posts. 

[[ve...]]

Great news Rocko!  Wishing the same for all post benzo pepes :-)

 

 

[[he...]]

  Hello everyone!!!  I have been post benzos for 9mos..What will not let up is this anger ..Yesterday I thought my head was going to explode, and my chest was soooo tight, whole body was pulsating. I had bought my husband a blood pressure machine because he has High blood pressure. Took mine and yup it was way beyond my norm.  typically have low bp. The rage that is running through me is scary.

 

I don't know how to get rid of this? Thought it would fade a bit, that it is part of healing....BUT it won't leave.  It is hanging on and on and on...What the h... is going on??? Had been sleeping fairly well and now the rage is keeping me up!! Anyone have this for this long??      Jude

[[2w...]]

Hey Jude,

 

I had the anger for quite a while. It kept me up a lot too but then it would turn into sadness & come back again. It's lessened a lot but I still feel it there a little. It was very scary & overwhelming but I would rather have anger than depression.

 

Honestly, I think it's a sign of healing. Benzos really cover up a lot of emotions.

 

Lou

[[km...]]

I had this for about 2 months and it's starting to fade.  This is something I never had and it came out of nowhere and I didn't know what was going on.  Yes it's very scary but for me it didn't last long.  I think the symptom that will be my last to leave is the agoraphobia and fear of being alone.  It's been with me since day 1 and still going strong 30 1/2 months later.

Hang in there

Hugs

Kristin

[[he...]]

writerlou-  You probably could be right, the emotions are hanging before me like a carrot.....angry about mistreatment from past , relationships, etc. It's all just THERE!!  And driving me nuts...enough already! went for a drive yesterday and felt better, but then at nite couldn't sleep. IT"S BACK in full force.

 

kmarie-  Feel for ya ,agoraphobia isn't a picnic. 25 yrs ago it touched my life. That was when nobody knew about it or what to do with it. I thought I was going crazy. I found a book on it that had just came out and healed myself. It took many of trial and errors but did it. You will too. Be brave and know it is just a repeat pattern of the brain and emotions telling you it is not safe out there!! Mine started with panic attack...which back then also no one knew about panic attacks, and again thought I was crazy. You have a world of info now to help.... My best to you on your journey,  Jude

[[ve...]]

Any more post benzo buddies out there who are newly off their benzo or several months out and still experiencing some symptoms?

 

Best,

 

Vertigo

[[2w...]]

Hey Jude,

 

I agree it's a lot of anger about the past years on benzos, relationships and now resentment. I had a mini-meltdown yesterday after someone at the gym unloaded on me about how stressed out they were about there brand new home being remodeled. OMG, I could barely contain how aggravated and jealous I was. I wish I had that kind of stress. I guess I'm good at faking that I'm okay. I don't know if that's such a good thing or not.

 

I feel really off this morning. The head pressure is pretty bad and the depression and racing thoughts are back. I feel so bored and lost. I feel like I need to do something to get beyond this point but I know I need to be patient.

 

Well, I hope you're feeling better. Hopefully this week will bring about more healing for all of us.

 

Love,

Lou

[[Ma...]]

Hi guys, I just came off for the second and last time 4 days ago! Yeah!! I remember when you started this blog Verti so I'm back. I've got symptoms for sure but it's such a relief to be on to the healing part of the journey. I know I have a long way to go. Re instating never worked, paradoxical in two weeks and then hooked tight, and now hoping to feel just better and better, but we know it doesn't work that way.

How long before the Valium is totally out of my system, anyone know?

m

[[Vi...]]

Hi, I am Benzo free for 😰6 weeks! This is my second attempt to get off of Clonazepam. I reinstated last year. I finished a 5 month taper, and I am never going back on this drug😫 ever. Yea I am off! The last 2 weeks have been tough, had one day with an amazing window, mostly feeling dizzy, blurry vision, nerves tingling,some anxiety, 3 hours of sleep a night, sometimes more, very tired, hard time concentrating, brain fog,It is good to be on the other side, knowing that each day as goes on I am in the recovery phase( I know you heal while on a slow taper) and as TIME goes on you heal and start feeling more like yourself.