Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group

[[ve...]]

 

 

Hello there!  Well I've done something a bit rash and am looking for some advice. I've been on 2x0.5 mg of clonazapam for the past 15 years. I was having some issues with depersonalization and alcohol craving so I decided to try and come off. I went off in 0.25 mg increments which I now realize was too abrupt in that my increments were too big and it came off everything in three months.  Things were going ok until the last 0.25 mg. since coming off the final dose my depersonalization, anxiety, depression, memory loss and cravings are through the roof. Things started about one week after my final dose. I can't Figure out if I've triggered benzo withdrawal syndrome or if this is normal withdrawal. I'm five weeks into it and its rough.

 

I started the taper as follows:

 

Start 1 mg clonazapam

Reduce 0.25 mg dec 26, 2012

Reduce 0.25 mg jan 7, 2013

Reduce 0.25 mg jan 21, 2013

Final reduction 0.25 mg mar 17, 2013

 

Seems like a loss to throw away 4 months of tapering. Hindsight is 20-20 and I wish I had the Ashton manual before I started. The reality is that if I would have known, perhaps I would have been too chicken to try coming off. The last reduction really hammered me!

 

I keep telling myself the last dose is the hardest and Ashton says to expect 2 months of withdrawal after the final dose. It's been a long haul and I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

 

Feedback that I've gotten from people on this site say don't reinstate at this point. It's been just under six weeks since my last dose. Things were going well until that final reduction. Since then it's been crazy. Wild cravings for I don't know what, other than to escape the anxiety. Other than that its the usual anxiety, depression, insomnia and very annoying depersonalization which I understand is normal for clonazapam. Plus memory loss. I figure I can either try to tough it out or go back on and try to come down more slowly. Any advice?  Thanks in advance.

 

 

Sent from my iPad

 

Hi Svenhoak.  With the caveat that tapering decisions are best made with one's doctor, coming off 1mg K or equivalent to 20mg valium in three months is quite rapid.  It takes about four weeks for valium to fully process out of one's body, about two weeks for Klonopin, from what I've read.  At five or six weeks post taper, it is generally not recommended to reinstate, usually that is done around 1-4 weeks after c/t or very rapid taper.  Some of the decisions to reinstate are based on severity of symptoms, ability to function, amount of sleep one is getting, whether one is having thoughts of self harm, other crisis type symptoms... It is a personal decision to be made with one's physicians and family.  In my case, it was a no brainer to reinstate valium at 3 weeks after a c/t off valium.  I had vertigo, high anxiety and was not really functioning.  It was the right decision for me.  I had been on 7mg valium but reinstated to 5mg valium and tapered over the following year very slowly, so as to avoid a recurrence of vertigo.  It worked out but there are others who reinstate and do not get much relief.  There are no guarantees with reinstatement.  Some do it and feel worse or only diminish their symptoms fractionally.  Others have better luck.  Some cross over to a slower acting benzo like valium, which may have other s/x or not work in the same manner as some of the shorter acting benzos.  Some reinstate to a combination of valium and K with the ultimate goal of going very slowly off the valium after crossing over from the K.  Interdose withdrawal can be an issue during the early weeks.  In any event, there are no easy answers.  Alcohol is generally best avoided because it stimulates GABA and can delay healing.  However, some who have come off the benzo quickly, have reported using some alcohol to offset some of the withdrawals, generally not the best to continue with alcohol.  It is not uncommon even if you had tapered more slowly, to have several months of waxing and waning withdrawal symptoms like the ones you described.  The average seems to be anywhere from 3-12 months, but that does not mean all sympoms will last that long, some go away more quickly.  How many hours are you sleeping per night?  Are you able to function?  Work? Go to school?  Other activities?

 

V

[[Sv...]]

Thanks Vertigo!

 

I'm still functioning but am severely depressed. I work full time in a very high stress environment, so maybe it's a sign to take some time off. Like I said before, hindsight is 20-20 and I'm eternally pissed off at the lack of direction I'm lacking from my doctor. The anxiety is annoying but I'll life. I sleep on/off at night. Lets just say I'm glad I don't have young children to raise!

 

My doctor put me on trazadone for a month to try to help with the symptoms. I think it made things worse. He then went to Luvox and that had a similar effect. From reading Ashton I suspect that my brain is hyper sensitive right now. I just don't know if I should reinstate and come down more slowly or try to tough it out. I'm thinking of taking medical leave from work too. There are no guarantees with reinstating so I'm terrified of trying. The thought of staying like my current state for many months or years is more terrifying. To think, I came off the clonazapam to make things "better", and for now it's kinda backfiring. Again, too fast of a taper out of ignorance.....

[[ve...]]

Thanks Vertigo!

 

I'm still functioning but am severely depressed. I work full time in a very high stress environment, so maybe it's a sign to take some time off. Like I said before, hindsight is 20-20 and I'm eternally pissed off at the lack of direction I'm lacking from my doctor. The anxiety is annoying but I'll life. I sleep on/off at night. Lets just say I'm glad I don't have young children to raise!

 

My doctor put me on trazadone for a month to try to help with the symptoms. I think it made things worse. He then went to Luvox and that had a similar effect. From reading Ashton I suspect that my brain is hyper sensitive right now. I just don't know if I should reinstate and come down more slowly or try to tough it out. I'm thinking of taking medical leave from work too. There are no guarantees with reinstating so I'm terrified of trying. The thought of staying like my current state for many months or years is more terrifying. To think, I came off the clonazapam to make things "better", and for now it's kinda backfiring. Again, too fast of a taper out of ignorance.....

 

Glad you are functioning and working, allbeit with some blues, Swenhoak.  That's impressive that you can work in a high stress environment.  I agree that if you have the ability to take some time, it could be helpful.  Yes, it is quite possible your brain may be  hyper sensitive for a while.    Are you sleeping ok?  Do you have any ear ringing or dizziness?  What are your most intense symptoms right now?

 

Vertigo

[[Sv...]]

Thanks Vertigo!  I haven't slept in six weeks. I typically alternate between high anxiety and depression. Ringing in ears is present but it doesn't bother me. Likewise with the dizziness. I finally broke down today and took time off work. I was using work as a distraction from my symptoms of withdrawal, but my work environment s very negative and my depression has gotten severe. Ironically I think I felt better in my earlier weeks of withdrawal in comparison to where I am today. I really don't know why. Maybe my SSRI's were helping some. Or maybe my memory is that bad!  I just passed week six from my last benzo dose and five weeks no alcohol. This has been a long haul!

 

Thanks again for your support and encouragement!  Any advice is much appreciated. I'm so tempted to try an antidepressant again at this time, but my brain may be too sensitive. I don't know!

[[ve...]]

Thanks Vertigo!  I haven't slept in six weeks. I typically alternate between high anxiety and depression. Ringing in ears is present but it doesn't bother me. Likewise with the dizziness. I finally broke down today and took time off work. I was using work as a distraction from my symptoms of withdrawal, but my work environment s very negative and my depression has gotten severe. Ironically I think I felt better in my earlier weeks of withdrawal in comparison to where I am today. I really don't know why. Maybe my SSRI's were helping some. Or maybe my memory is that bad!  I just passed week six from my last benzo dose and five weeks no alcohol. This has been a long haul!

 

Thanks again for your support and encouragement!  Any advice is much appreciated. I'm so tempted to try an antidepressant again at this time, but my brain may be too sensitive. I don't know!

 

I am not a doctor, but some who have had many sleep problems have benefited from a low dose of remeron/myrtazapine.  It can help with sleep and take the edge off some symptoms, although like anything, there are side effects and some don't like it.  Best to consult with your doctor.  Have heard that 15mg remeron can help with sleep but may not be a large enough dose to counter depression, might need 30mg to address sleep and depression, but I am not a doctor so check with one if interested in a/d options and doses.

 

I know of one potential side effect of remeron which is increased appetite and weight gain.  For some who are having trouble keeping weight on, that could be helpful, but for those who are overweight and have high blood pressure, it may not be the best.

 

  If you are able to gut it out without an a/d for another couple of weeks, it might be best, but if sleep is really poor and you are severely depressed, you might consult with your doctor about medications.  Another option might be to try melatonin or something other than an a/d, again with doctor consult.  Good that you're staying off the alcohol.  Alcohol and some a/ds can also come with s/x such as ringing in the ears (tinnitus) gastro issues, dizzies... for some so always consider s/x before adding new medications.  On the other hand, if depression becomes severe, or if thought of self harm becomes a problem, an a/d and counseling could be best considered.  It's not uncommon to have fluctuating anxiety and depression, sleep troubles and cog fog/memory issues in the early months off the benzo, at least was the case for me.  I did not take an a/d although considered it at one point or another.  It's still early at six weeks so hang in there.

 

Best,

 

Vertigo

[[Sv...]]

Thanks very much Vertigo!  I'm off to my doctor shortly. Ironically I was going to request a low dose of mirtazapine, but like you said it makes it tough to understand the side effects vi started a low dose of trazadone the day I stopped k, and it was hard to identify what s/x were from the a/d vs the benzo wthdrawal.

 

If nothing else I sincerely appreciate chatting with you and others about this. Better than any doc I've seen so far!

[[am...]]

Hello im five days off from klonopin and i know its early but im scared that im going to get slammed out of no where i haven't wanted to say im off yet because im scared i will jinx  myself

[[ve...]]

Hello im five days off from klonopin and i know its early but im scared that im going to get slammed out of no where i haven't wanted to say im off yet because im scared i will jinx  myself

 

Hi Amy,

Did you taper off slowly?  As far as I know, it takes about two weeks for klonopin to process out of your system, so you may feel some increasing symptoms in a week, but if you tapered slowly, hopefully they will not "slam" you.

 

V

[[am...]]

I taper slowly i was only on it for 7to8 weeks i may have taper too slow i don't know but i jumped from 0.0625mgs every other day im just crossing my fingers

[[ve...]]

How are you doing Amy?  How are the rest of the post benzo pepes?

[[am...]]

I am doing ok so far just some minor symptoms Im 9 days off now but if it takes two week to get out of my system then Im probably going to be screwed soon Im sure yay  me

[[ve...]]

I am doing ok so far just some minor symptoms Im 9 days off now but if it takes two week to get out of my system then Im probably going to be screwed soon Im sure yay  me

 

Hope things continue to heal for you Amy.  Try to stay positive and cautiously optimistic .

 

V

[[Sv...]]

Thanks Vertigo for the recommendation of mirtazapine. Taking 3 mg and its really helping with the insomnia!

[Guest [to...]]

How are you doing Amy?  How are the rest of the post benzo pepes?

 

 

Hi V

 

 

My sanity has returned a little better these days only for my physical body to be falling apart

 

 

Towards

[[ve...]]

Thanks Vertigo for the recommendation of mirtazapine. Taking 3 mg and its really helping with the insomnia!

 

Well, I am glad that it's helping although I'm not sure I would say I "recommended" it. I may have suggested asking your doctor about if or something to help if you felt it was needed. Glad it worked out for you.

 

V

[[ve...]]

c

[[ve...]]

How are the post benzo buddies doing?  Anyone finish their taper in the last few weeks or months and have something to share?

 

Have a good weekend,

 

Vertigo

[[as...]]

Hi  Everyone,

 

  Can  anyone  tell  me  if  it  gets  worse  before  it  gets  better.  Although  I  wasn't  doing  all  that  much  before (  taking  care  of  the  yard, reading, doing laundry...)  I'm  suddenly  confined  to  my  bedroom.  I  don't  understand  what  is  happening. I  also  feel  like  I  suddenly  need  to  grab  on  to  someone  to  prevent  me  from  sinking.  I'd  appreciate  any  attempt  to  explain  what  is  happening.  Thanks!

[[ih...]]

Hi ashes, at 4 months out, unfortunately it is not uncommon to still have waves when wdwls can get bad again.

It doesn't seem to tell us anything about how long it will take to significantly heal from there & some have had quite bad waves just before they get very much better.

I hope this bad patch leaves you soon.

[[as...]]

ihope,

 

  Thanks  for your  quick  response.  It  helps  to  feel  validated.

[[Sv...]]

I'm in the same "boat" ashes. It's just about 8 weeks for me and my doctor suspects tat I'm still in the "trough" so to speak. Can't wait to get out!  Good luck everyone!

 

[[Lo...]]

Well, all...3 months today. I wish I felt better about it.  Had a terrible wave yesterday and feeling hopeless/desperately lonely today.  It is a struggle. so many of us seem to be going through a rough time lately.  I KNOW I am healing, that is obvious even to me.  Somehow I just can't...feel ? ...it.  I haven't wanted to come here, haven't been able to post or reply really.  My head isn't working right.  I am sleeping more, perhaps even better and not having those extreme sweats.  This morning I did get back to sleep after the 4 am wake-thing...paid such a price for it - roused to Terror and Dread again.  I feel even MORE sleepy and fatigued now...so doesn't seem fair. I know that that kind of attitude gets me nowhere. The fight has mostly gone out of me lately. Family emergency again. They just never end with more to come. How I wish the window has not closed!  I could cope then...

[[pr...]]

i am actually in one of the most burning amazing horrible waves that just won't leave. i had my first window on April 11th and it hasn't stopped since and seems to be getting worse. i am 1 year out and tomorrow will be the 1 year anniversary of a trip to the ER and rescue benzo dose. i can't believe how i am feeling right now. i am still bed ridden during the day too.

 

but don't let this scare you to the new people as i have been dealing with benzo's pretty much my whole life. and i did so much yo-yo-ing up and down and just couldn't taper properly so i had to cold turkey these little demons. and although i didn't expect to actually blow out my brains (as that is truly what it feels like) i did think that it could possibly take a longer time for me. i am much better than i was, that is for sure. but it sure is slow for me. i am hoping in the next few weeks i will either have another window or turn a corner. i really would like to turn that "13 month" corner that some peeps talk about.

 

pretty

[[Fl...]]

I'm just over 6 months out from a convoluted taper. At least it was slow at the end. Things are much better in some respects. I mean I can list several symptoms that are almost gone like the sinking, falling, tipping over, boaty feelings. The GI burning is almost gone. I'm doing more.

 

What's not better is the emotional stuff. Ther are times when I cannot find any joy no matter how hard I try. I can't remember what life is supposed to look like. This creates some guilt. I know I'm better off than many. Still, I struggle to find reasons to get up and face the day. I suppose the emotions go through a healing process just like the body. But I was much more emotionally even during my taper than I am now.

[[pa...]]

having this clocked anxiety / panic attack twice a day.

first one comes around 12:00pm. this one is somewhat tolerable and do not last very long.

2nd one comes around 8:00pm. and, this one is really severe and last very long. (up to 5~6 hours.)

was like this for many months now.

is it suppose to be like this?

just do not know how long i could endure this. sigh.