Eastcoast's Trip

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So many of you out there hurting so much. This is a terrible shame on the human race. We have wrecked our planet, elected fools to run our countries, and allowed dangerous drugs be routinely prescribed...among many other disgusting things. I often think that humans are the WORST species God created. We are awful! Every time I go to the store and park my car and step out. I see trash strewn on the ground. Cigarette butts just dropped any old place, receipts, plastic junk, and other trash just dropped on the road and sidewalks. Come on, people! There are public ashtrays for you to put your butts in so others wont walk in it. Your trash does not belong on the sidewalk of Walmart!

 

Last week, I went to my local grocery store. I got a cart, and found a USED diaper in it. UGH! AND NO hand wipdes in the container. I got another cart but it, too, had garbage in it. I gave up. Did my shopping and took my stuff to the car, seeing cigarrette butts everywhere and trash just dropped.

 

Is it any wonder we humans have ruined this gorgeous planet??? We dont deserve this planet. All we have done is trash it.

 

Humans kill for sport and pleasure. NO other creature God made does that. Animals hunt for food. They catch and kill things and eat them. Humans sometimes ENJOY hurting either other humans or animals. This is despicable!

 

My cat, Jackie Bear, is a 15 lb bundle of love, fur and sweetness. He choose me, and I am so glad he did. He was abandoned at LESS than a year old. Still a KITTEN, and some human just abandoned him and left him to starve or survive. He is a smart kitty. He wandered into a new neighbors yard, a lovely woman who already has 3 elderly female cats who live indoors. She began feeding Bear (and named him, quite appropriately! He looks sort of like a Bear-) and after 6 months got him neutered so he wouldnt get into fights. When I met her, I met him....this gorgeous gray and black tasbby cat with huge eyes came running right up to me, ears forward and tail up....signs a cat trusts you. He let me pet him right away, and my neighbor was shocked. "He is scared of everyone but me!" she said." Would you be interested in adopting him?" I had just recently lost both Oreo and Peggy and was not quite ready. But I found myself going back to her yards almost every day for about 4 days. Each time, Bear came right up to me. I slowly realized I could not say no to this wonderful cat. He had picked me...and for reasons I will never understand.

I brought him home, and he has turned out to be the BEST cat ever. ONly Teddy and Wilson were in his league, loving, trusting, beautiful, funny and extremely loyal.

 

I am rambling tonight. Thats my decision and there must be a reason why I need to. Bear with me (no pun intended!)

[[Pi...]]

Bump!

East... I am bumping your success story again for hope and encouragement. Thank you also so much for continuing to give your support to all of us who are still struggling. It helps a lot to read posts like yours and know that we will also recover and attain full healing when the time comes.

May you continue to live a life that is full of joy, peace and wellness!

 

Blessings!

 

Pi

[[Pi...]]

It has taken me a long time to do this, but Im ready. My story is long, and may scare some of you, but it's also a message of hope. I am not FULLY healed yet, but compared to how I was when I was active here - boy oh boy, Im CURED.

 

My story begins years ago. When I was a child, I had trouble going to sleep. 32 years ago I graduated from Nursing school and began working as an RN in an inner city hospital in Washington DC. Back then, only narcotics were locked up and "counted." Many nurses and doctors helped themselves to pills, and so did I. I began taking various benzos. They helped immensely....I could fall asleep easily. This quickly became a habit, although I did not "feel addicted."

 

In Nursing school, we were told that benzo withdrawal could last up to 4 weeks and the danger was seizures. Never once did I hear that this is far, far from the truth. So, I continued to take my benzos almost every night.

 

During those many years, I gradually became depressed. And over time, other things happened but I did not see it at all.

 

In 2003 things started to fall apart. My health started going bad. Id had major surgery (for obesity) and was rapidly developing osteoporosis (which is not unusual). I also began falling. I would just go down.

 

In 2006 I fell and had extreme neck and shoulder pain. Saw a surgeon, had a laminectomy, recovered. He and my medical doctor knew I was on benzos but didn't make the connection between the fall and the neck injury. I had started going to a psychiatrist for depression, and now was legally on a benzo: Klonapin. PLUS Ambien. Both in large doses. Plus two antidepressants, although over time these were changed, doses adjusted. I also drank a lot of beer, most nights, and had for years.

I began falling more and more often. At the end, I was falling every day.

 

I should explain to you that the dates of various injuries and surgeries is still unclear to me. One thing that was happening over time was my memory got bad.

 

Other things were going bad, too. I stopped reading books, many years ago. I couldn't remember plots or characters, so why bother?

My social life wasn't good; I had social anxiety, plus was in a sort of "hibernation", thanks to benzos. I gradually became unengaged with life.

 

My health really began to get awful. I fell, and severely fractured my right femur (the big bone in your upper leg.) It splintered into bits. I passed out from the pain. At the hospital I was told I might lose the leg, but a decent surgeon with war experience somehow patched it together. It took me several months to recover, walk again. I began having serious chronic pain, and began taking oral narcotics on top of all the other medications. I think at one point, my med list had 14 drugs on it. My medical doctor was now concerned, but if he said anything, I don't recall, and would have brushed him off anyway.

 

I just did not get it.

 

Fell again, and opened up the healing wound on my leg. I was so out of it, I did not go to the hospital for over a week. Ended up staying there 10 days for IV antibiotics.

 

And one of those antibiotics was a flouroquinolone.......I went into extreme anxiety. My doctor had not ordered my Klonapin or Ambien, and the antibiotic threw me into acute withdrawal. But no one "got it" and nor did I. I begged the nurses to call my doctor but it took days. Then, they called in a psychiatrist, who thought I was just "an anxious lady." But he ordered a single dose of Klonapin (after trying to put me on an anti-psychotic." That single dose set me straight until I got home and could take my prescriptions. 

 

A couple months later I fell again, and broke my right hip. Surgery repaired it, and once again I was put on a flouroquinolone, and went into withdrawal. Same thing happened, but this time no psychiatrist was called in. My medical doctor was now extremely concerned, and reported me to the drivers license bureau for being an unsafe driver. I stopped driving....for about a year. A friend drove me everywhere, and also began to take care of me and my cats.

 

I was using a rolling walker to walk....all the time. I still had severe pain, and the pain doctor suggested an implanted pain pump. I agreed, and I still have it. I stopped taking oral narcotics. But my mind was still fuzzy, my memory shot, I was slurring my words and forgetful.

 

In June of 2012, I needed refills for all four psych meds. I called my psychiatrist, and was told he was closing his practice and they couldn't see me. I had seen this man for 12 years.

I got a referral to another psychiatrist but couldn't see her for over a month. I ran out of Klonapin, and had only two weeks of Ambien left. I went to a walk in clinic and a sympathetic (but suspicious) doctor gave me a script for just enough to get me to the new doctors appointment.

What I did not know was that my medical doctor had spoken to my old psychiatrist about my benzos, and then called the new one.

 

I went for my appointment. It was a nightmare. I was told I had to sign into the local drug rehab "or else." I had worked as an RN at that facility, so sure didn't want to go, but I thought I had no choice. And I didn't! I was going into withdrawal, and figured a rehab would be able to help me.

 

Not so.

 

At the rehab I quickly went into acute withdrawal. I could barely see. I was having serious trouble walking even with the walker. I was having severe twitches of various muscles, especially my legs. I got this weird sharp pain in my abdomen. I had a headache, dry mouth. Couldn't eat or drink.

I was not given anything for my symptoms, nor did anyone ask me what I was feeling. I knew they could give Clonidine for my blood pressure (a beta blocker which has anti-anxiety effects-) but they said my BP wasn't high enough. 150/90 IS high enough.....I knew their protocol.

I was harassed to go to "groups", which consisted of everyone sitting around filling out little forms entitled things like "My mood of the day is...." with little faces you could circle to indicate your mood.

The unit I was on was the same one I used to be the Assistant Nurse Manager of....the Baker Act unit. In other words, the pone unit that would take anyone, whether young and severely psychotic, or elderly and demented. There was no room on the Drug/Alcohol Unit.

So - I knew many of the staff, which was humiliating. Also some of the patients.

By the third day I was hallucinating, and became severely paranoid. I believed with all my heart that "their" plan was to have me permanently committed. So I certainly didn't share what I was seeing, thinking, feeling or experiencing!

It was supposed to be an 8 day "rehab." (The unit was trying to follow the Drug Unit protocol-). But on the 5th day the social worker told me my insurance was refusing to pay. I was sent home the next day.....to my relief.

 

When I got home I was still hallucinating, and was sure "they" were going to show up to take me back there. I wrote out instructions of what to tell "them" to my friend who stayed with me.

 

My acute withdrawal lasted about 3.5 weeks. Nothing cleared up quickly...it has always been a gradual, painstakingly slow process.

 

The hallucinations stopped after (I think!) about a week. But I still had physical stuff: abdominal pain, nausea, diarrhea. Muscle twitches and cramping. My skin became ultra-sensitive, everything irritated or itched. My own hair felt itchy and "weird."

 

On Day 14 of this, I had a day when I "woke up". It was a profound feeling of awakening....and I "saw" how horrible my life had gotten. I see now that I was sereing everything with an exaggerated sense of negativity but I think I needed to do this. I saw how my health had gone bad, how my mind was failing. How I could no longer work. That I was dependant. I looked around my house and saw how filthy it was.

 

Believe it or not, cleaning my house was the very beginning of my recovery! I scrubbed and cleaned and scrubbed and cleaned. I wasn't to smart about it - used bleach on certain fabrics and items which ruined them....but hey, everything was CLEAN.

 

I began to develop a weird fear of insects, especially ants. I live in Florida: bugs are common here. And I had enormous gardens outside, which attract ants and other bugs. So, there were plenty inside the house.

 

But Fear became my worst and longest-lasting symptom. I was afraid of EVERYHING. It was beyond words, really. I felt so fearful I was tip-toeing around my house, with my butt muscles all tight.

 

I had several full-blown panic attacks, plus even worse night terrors. I thought I was going to die.

 

I knew I needed help, but because Id worked in the Psych field, I knew there wasn't much around, and I was still paranoid about being committed.

I began tentatively searching the internet for help with benzos. My firstb "hit", unfortunately, was a site labelled "BenzoBuddies." But it wasn't the real site, it was the site of a cazy man who HATES BB! I was terrified of this site, and gave up trying to find real help for quite a while.Every other group I found was no longer active.

 

But finally, I ventured back onto the net, and found the real BenzoBuddies.....and THEN I began, slowly, to understand what I was going through, get support and truly begin to get better.

 

I cannot thank this site enough. In fact, as I sit here typing, my eyes are filling weith tears. Im holding back sobs. I remember the deep relief I felt in learning that I had not gone crazy: this was withdrawal. I read what the Mods wrote about having faith that it will eventually get better and I trusted. Magrita and River Wolf were my heros: both offered me compassion and knowledge. I began making friends on BB, and am still close to several.

 

This is all so difficult to talk about. Im am sure I am forgetting things, but that's okay, I will add them when I remember. What is important is that I get this started.

 

Now, before I go any further, I want to tell you the good parts:

 

I am not the same person as the one who began this long journey. My health has gotten so much better. I no longer use the walker, nor even a cane. Sure, I still have osteoporosis, but I am NOT falling anymore. I fainted and fell twice during withdrawal (and broke a rib) but not since. My other health has improved: I no longer have IBS. The vast majority of physical symptoms have left, leaving a little tinnitus left. I have normal "old lady" aches and pain (I am 64 now). I am not severely depressed. I don't have social anxiety anymore, except mildly on occasion. I no longer feel that weird Terror.....oh, once in a while, it shows up but doesn't last long at all, and now I know what it is and am not worried.

What is left?

Well, I have severe insomnia. If I sleep 4 hours its a great night, Most nights, its 3 hours. I still am super-sensitive about dirt, grime, and am meticulous about cleaning. Bordering on obsessive but NOT a "weird" obsession. I am just very clean in how I try to live.  Sometimes, my skin is still too sensitive but again, I know what that's from and ignore it. Im still not very social, but maybe that's just how I am.

I read again! I love reading! I remember plots and characters now without trouble.

I have gotten back into my arts and crafts stuff, when I have the money for supplies.

I have developed new interests. I feed the neighborhood squirrels and birds and get such a kick out watching all that life going on outside.

I sold my house and moved into a rental apartment in a small town 20 miles North of my old place. I hated it at first (it was filthy when I moved in!) but Im getting to like it now.

 

One thing bad that happened during my withdrawal was losing four of my five cats. Some of you know about this....it was awful. First one, then another. And I was in no shape to handle it, so I stuffed it all inside and still deal with it.  A couple months ago, I adopted a new cat, Oreo. He was a declawed kitty someone abandoned. I was feeding him. But when I saw he was declawed, I brought him inside. And he's a doll. He and little Miss Peggy don't get along yet but they divided up the Territory, and co-exist with each other.

 

Time to take a break from this epic.

 

I love you all, and want you to know something......I know for a fact that I had one of the worst withdrawals known on this site. In fact, its hard to put it all into words you will understand. But it was simply awful, horrible, frightening, unbelievable. Yet - I have largely recovered! And if Eastcoast can get better...............YOU CAN.

 

eastcoast62 (Annie)

 

Bump!

Pi

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Thaks PI! I am bumping it up even more because someone new posted something I feel deeply about. Thanks!!!

[[ea...]]

Just saying hello to you all.

I know you feel awful. I know you are discouraged. Please do not give up. The misery of withdrawal WILL pass, and you will be your old self....but better, without benzos muddling your brain.

 

Stay with BB. You will get the best support and information here. I know this! I checked out other benzo support groups and none had the credibility that BB does.

 

People here do care. Isnt that what you need? I know I did.

much love to you all...

annie

[Guest [NM...]]

Just saying hello to you all.

I know you feel awful. I know you are discouraged. Please do not give up. The misery of withdrawal WILL pass, and you will be your old self....but better, without benzos muddling your brain.

 

Stay with BB. You will get the best support and information here. I know this! I checked out other benzo support groups and none had the credibility that BB does.

 

People here do care. Isnt that what you need? I know I did.

much love to you all...

annie

 

Annie, I pray that you know how much you’ve encouraged so many, including myself. ♥️

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I am learning how to  do online photos. I will be playing with this a bit today.

 

Dont laugh too hard, okay? By the way I am doin g fine. I find this computer stuff SO tedious and hard to learn, and the new camera I bought is SUPER techie. Too bad none of you who are good at this live near me!

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mmmmm[glow=red,2,300][/glow]

[[pr...]]

Bump

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Hi preacher girl!

Thanks for the bump but I am not sure why you did it!

 

I am slowly learning how to use a digital camera and post photos online...my future plans to make money depend on my learning this. I am 68 now. I didnt grow up on cell phones or computers. I am VERY intimidated by that stuff and feel sort of lost when I try to use them. Then I start getting anxious as hell, assuming I cannot learn it! I know I am smart enough. It will just take time and repetition for me to get it right.

 

How are YOU doing??? I see your posts often. You always try to be helpful and I know that is appreciated here.

east (Annie)

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Oh! I forgot something. My friend who is teaching me this stuff, and I, tried to post photos here on BB. On my SS. But it didnt work for me or her...we could not get a way to post my silly cat photos.

 

Anyone out there have some helping ideas for a NON techie?

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Oh! I forgot something. My friend who is teaching me this stuff, and I, tried to post photos here on BB. On my SS. But it didnt work for me or her...we could not get a way to post my silly cat photos.

 

Anyone out there have some helping ideas for a NON techie?

 

Hey East, there are lots of people asking and answers given in the Techie section.  Here's just one that should help you.

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=208590.msg2697844#msg2697844

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Hi abcd!!!

Thank you. I posted a question on the techie section and am waiting to hear back from some one. This techie stuff is difficult for me, not having grown UP using an iPhone or a tablet. Holy cow, my first computer was a huge IBM desktop machine. Enormous and ugly but it worked. I now own a Toshiba laptop and like it but know I need to replace it fairly soon.

 

I wish this stuff was easier for me. I tend to get anxious when I dont just "get it". All my life, I was always good with words, artistic things, creativity...but NOT good with math and other things similar (like computers). I have a decent IQ - I am not stupid. Just kind of challenged by computer stuff. In nursing school, I excelled at many things. I even LOVED Microbilogy! (I got to draw pictures of microbes and stuff. How cool was that!) But Chemistry baffled me no end. I took it twice and still felt baffled, even though the second time I finally started to realize that the periodic table is all math stuff and not very difficult.  My lower grades in Chem kept me from graduating with honors. PHOOEY on that!

Annie, still scratching her head over compuer things!

[[ea...]]

Bump!!!!

[Guest [NM...]]

Bump!!!!

 

Double bump

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Hi abcd!!!

Thank you. I posted a question on the techie section and am waiting to hear back from some one. This techie stuff is difficult for me, not having grown UP using an iPhone or a tablet. Holy cow, my first computer was a huge IBM desktop machine. Enormous and ugly but it worked. I now own a Toshiba laptop and like it but know I need to replace it fairly soon.

 

I wish this stuff was easier for me. I tend to get anxious when I dont just "get it". All my life, I was always good with words, artistic things, creativity...but NOT good with math and other things similar (like computers). I have a decent IQ - I am not stupid. Just kind of challenged by computer stuff. In nursing school, I excelled at many things. I even LOVED Microbilogy! (I got to draw pictures of microbes and stuff. How cool was that!) But Chemistry baffled me no end. I took it twice and still felt baffled, even though the second time I finally started to realize that the periodic table is all math stuff and not very difficult.  My lower grades in Chem kept me from graduating with honors. PHOOEY on that!

Annie, still scratching her head over compuer things!

 

You made me laugh, East.  Being phooey with computers certainly doesn't mean you're stupid, lol.  If you're still stuck, just pm me and maybe I'll be able to help. 

[[Ar...]]

As stand on the edge of a taper. I reread East's story alot. A story of pain, desperation, but, ultimately of redemption, deliverance and healing.

 

I thank you East for sharing your story and to you (and others) words of encouragement as I start this terrifying journey. I want to win, I want to heal and I want to share a success story.

 

Ever Onward.

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All of you are just so wonderful. This makes it worth it that I went through what I did. Being able to help someone else was my true saving grace, even though back then, I did not know what I was doing most of the time. I just kept going forward, praying that what I read here on BB was true. Turned out to be VERY true.

 

Yes. Ever onward. When you think of giving up, please remember what I and many others have said. Benzo addiction can be hard to beat. There is something about benzos that attracts many people. Maybe its the numbing effect on people who have suffered major trauma of various sorts. I only wanted to sleep, and look where that ended up! Yes, I sure did sleep easily for 30 years but at such an enormous price!!! I just did not know how truly bad benzo WD can be for a few people.

 

I promise you that once you heal from this, you will slowly begin to understand and put into perspective what you have been through. You will have to learn to forgive yourself (NOT easy!) and learn how to relate to your family and friends again (also not easy). During our use of benzos we may have done things, said things, that hurt other people. You will need to mend your fences and that is not at all easy or fun to do but it is all part of the healing process. My two sisters still do not understand what I went through and never will. I hurt my relationships with them both due to benzos. I have to live with that. I have done what I can to make amends, but those wounds may never totally heal.

 

I dont mean to sound like an AA member, because I am not one, But the 12 Steps ARE terrifically helpful to anyone recovering from some sort of drug abuse or accidental addiction. The 12 Steps are simply wonderful adivice for anyone who has somehow made a

mess of their lives.

much love to you all.....

ANNIE :smitten:

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Quick bump.

 

I was trying to figure out today why I am again drawn to spend a bit of time here. I THINK it is because I feel I have a big debt to pay here, and I do that quite willingly. Maybe I also need a current reminder of what I went through. It still makes me feel better to help someone else.

 

Whatever - I am very glad to be here again. I find BB very, very comforting.

[Guest [NM...]]

Quick bump.

 

I was trying to figure out today why I am again drawn to spend a bit of time here. I THINK it is because I feel I have a big debt to pay here, and I do that quite willingly. Maybe I also need a current reminder of what I went through. It still makes me feel better to help someone else.

 

Whatever - I am very glad to be here again. I find BB very, very comforting.

 

For people like me? ♥️ Thank you again for your posts. 😊

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Yes, for people like you and so many many others. I find it sad that people STILL dont know how bad benzos can be when you take them and then get off them. This is a terrible shame on the world for letting so many people suffer.

 

I was just writing to someone here on BB. About (of course-) symptoms. I suddenly realized that I have not heard that weird, goofy tune in my head for maybe a week...maybe more! This goes to prove that healing does continue, long after you think you are fully healed.

 

My amygdala must have been terribly damaged, HOLY SHIT! This alone is scary. But I did live through it. And how did I do that? With a little (a LOT) of help from my friends here on BB. The things I learned here helped me survive an awful withdrawal. Helping others helped me. Its a give and take thing, and giving helps you perhaps more than it helps the other guy! I wish more of you would realize this. IF you only focus on the negatives (your fear, anxiety, pain, weird other symptoms-) you may not make much progress. But if you try to focus more on what IS positive, you may find you do better. No matter how bad your withdrawal is, there will always be something you still love, care about, enjoy. Focus on that instead of your misery. Getting your mind off your misery is a very important skill to learn.

 

Benzo withdrawal is perhaps one of the most unpleasant things you will ever experience. Your mind tells you that you wont heal, because nothing prepared you for this onslaught of strange sensations and thoughts. You wonder if you are permanently damaged. You may think you have gone insane. It is incredibly difficult to feel so utterly ALONE in this, because no one in your "real" life understands either. Well, you just have to depend on places like BB. You certainly cannot depend on physicians, even "addiction specialists" because even THEY dont know the full truth about BWD!

 

I will share something but will word it carefully so I do not offend any physicians out there who may read this:

 

One of my current customers for house cleaning is a psychiatrist. He is the Head of Addictions at a local mental health program available to low income people. He is a very nice man, and I like him a lot. I have told him only that I was addicted to benzos for years and went cold turkey. I told him 0 carefully, very carefully - that my withdrawal was horrible and symptoms of both physical and mental stayed with me a long time. I could tell by his face that he did not believe me. He did not say that but I am darn good at reading faces and body language. I believe he thought I was exaggerating, when in fact, I was doing exactly the opposite!!!! I was DOWN playing my symptoms. At that moment I realized I could not talk to this nice man about BWD because he simply does not know the entire truth. All he knows is what he reads in Psychiatric journals and what he hears in Medical conferences. The real truth is that the medical profession is TEERRIBLY lacking in knowledge about BWD. And nor do I think this will change any time soon. I believe that the drug companies suppress as much good information about benzos as they can. They are in the business of making money off other humans miseries. UGH!

 

I long ago realized than human beings are the worst species ever created. Humans kill for pleasure!!!!! Animals do not. They hunt for food, and sometimes sort of for play. (I am thinking of my cat, Bear, who does not go outside. But if he did, he would kill birds and squirrels, and NOT eat them, because a cat's instincts tell him to hunt - or go hungry. I do not hold this against him. He is - only a cat, bless his little heart. But humans have a huge brain, and they often CHOOSE to kill for pleasure, for religious reasons, out of anger, oout of fear, out of hatred for others, for political reasons. This makes humans disgusting to me. Humans have ruined this beautiful world we live on. The forests are disappearing, the ice packs and glaciers are melting, and we STILL keep doing what we are doing that is causing this. And politically - oh dear. I am SO ashamed of my country right now. The man people (not me!) elected as President - is a total fool, a man who degrades women, blacks, Asians, and just about anyone he does not like. A President who Twitters is.....beyond belief to me! God help us for electing this fool of a person. I keep hoping he will be impeached. It isnt happening. Maybe the November elections will show a better trend....but a helluva lot of people voted for Trump and maybe they just do not SEE what a creep he is or how foolish he is.

 

Sorry to vent on you guys. I guess I needed to.

 

Listen people: you WILL get through withdrawal. It isnt that hard, it is all a matter of being extremely patient, and playing a waiting game. Learning skills to deal with symptoms helps. Trying to help someone else helps a lot. Fall back on your Faith, if you have one. Learn whatever you can about what is causing all this ruckus in your mind and body helps a lot. Withdrawal from benzos can be very difficult, but I promise you, it is well worth the wait and misery you are in now.

Annie

[[pa...]]

Dearest Eastcoast,

 

I'm not on BB too often, but stopped by..  So grateful to read your "Success Story"... I remember when you joined BB, a year after I did. Your SS is written with honesty and truth all the way, and that the healing does take place, and it does!!

 

My best to you always... from the "Westcoast to the Eastcoast"  All blessings to you always!!

 

Hugs, Pattylu

[[Go...]]

Wow East thinks for sharing your journey! You certainly are a strong person who encourages so many on this site! Thank you for helping so many with your insight. I love reading your posts! ❤️

[[ea...]]

Thank you so much! It has been a long trip indeed. I look back and am still horrified at what I went through...me and so many other people. I wish better help was available for us but none seems to exist. I depended on BB to guide me and thankfully,.BB turned out to be the best support possible. Without this marvelous site I would have given up and most likely would be dead now. The human body cannot taKe benzos for thirty years and survive. I know this with my entire heart.

 

I would encourage all of you to keep writing here on BB. The support and information you will get is just wonderful. Dr Ashton knew a lot, and thank God she tried to help us. She lead the way, making BWD something that is slowly becoming more well known. We have to keep that flame glowing.

much love to you all,

Annie (east)

[[Da...]]

East coast you're my inspiration. I also self medicated and abused benzos for 10 years. You give me so much hope, thank you.