back again

[[Li...]]

Hi Polenta,

 

That is wonderful to hear that your kitties are okay!  It is so hard to have things happen to them.  I hope you have many, many years of happiness to enjoy together yet.

 

And what good news that you could have the cider!  I hope all of your sensitivity are gone or at least much better.!

 

Best wishes for the remaining symptoms of stopping caffeine to improve soon for you. 

 

Love,

Lily 

[[po...]]

thanks again Lily.

 

I hope your healing journey is as short as possible.

 

By the way, regarding your cholesterol, did you know that coconut oil,(you can cook with it, use it like butter, put it on your skin and hair), raises your HDL (good cholesterol) and can give you a better ratio of LDL:HDL? 

[[ho...]]

Oh Polenta - I am so very grateful that you posted this!!!!  We've never communicated before, but I did read a bit of your story here on BB in the last year, and it made me so sad to hear all you've been through.  I am so overjoyed that the hell is finally ending for you!!!!  I can't even fathom how you've endured so much for so long - you are a true inspiration!! 

 

Also, I'm a little over a year off of my 3rd rapid taper, and have seen a lot of improvement, however I did re-introduce caffeine back into my diet in the last few months.  I would try it out here and there over the last year, but it would mostly rev up my symptoms, so I never stuck with it.  Recently though, I've been tolerating it much better, but I have questioned if I really should even be drinking it at all.  I just have such a strong desire to live a "normal" life again, and enjoy the things I used to, like a cup of coffee, tea or soda.  But as I find myself reaching out for it more often, I also notice that while it does have some pleasant affects, it can also be a bit of a wild card, and I'm beginning to wonder I'm tolerant to it again, and if it's negatively impacting my benzo recovery.  I just assumed that as time passed and I healed more, the sensitivities from benzo w/d would ease up and wouldn't be an issue anymore.  However when I look back, there was a time in my life before benzos where I began noticing a growing sensitivity to caffeine and did read about caffeine allergy.  I could absolutely relate to the symptoms.  Once I started Klonopin, that sensitivity vanished, and I believe that the benzos were just masking it.  So this desire to enjoy caffeine again may not be a reality for me.  If I have a true underlying sensitivity/allergy, I can imagine that it's not something that will disappear after benzo w/d. 

 

So at this point in time, I'm struggling a bit as to how to proceed.  I've never really had a problem stopping caffeine in the past, but yesterday when I tried to stop cold turkey, I found it very difficult.  Since I know caffeine withdrawal can be tough for someone in good health, I can imagine that it's much more challenging and symptomatic for those of us that have a highly sensitive CNS.  You said that you tried c/t as well, but wound up having to go back on and taper the caffeine.  Did you struggle with the taper?  And did you have cravings?  This is a bit different for me than stopping Klonopin, b/c I never craved benzos.  Any more info you could share with me would be greatly appreciated!!!

 

Thanks again for you post - your message came at the perfect time, and really hit me hard to take a look at where I'm at, and that I need to make more changes.  It scares me a bit too, but I'd rather become aware sooner than later!  Much love to you Polenta, and I wish you the very best of health from here on out -  you deserve it more than anyone!!!!  Xo 

[[po...]]

Hello Hopeseeker and thank you for your good wishes, it has been a terrible time!!

 

As far as my caffeine taper went, it was extremely difficult going back on after only about a week of abstinence, because by then  I had completely lost any tolerance I had to it, and I became so nauseous when ever  I drank any tea, I thought it was going to be impossible, but I forced myself to drink it and got back to my normal 2 cups of tea over about 3 weeks and then I tapered off over about 5 months.  I had lost any cravings because of how nauseous it had made me feel getting back on.  I was instantly hit by fatigue as soon as I started my taper and I was nauseous for about a 6 weeks too.

 

There is a really good website called caffeine faq where people talk about their experience (good and bad) with caffeine wd.  I will try and post a link in a minute but if I can't, go the caffeine faq site and scroll down through the what are the ysmptoms of caffeine withdrawal and you will find a blog at the bottom. 

http://coffeefaq.com/site/node/11#comment-14240

I hope it helps.

 

[[ho...]]

Thank you Polenta!!!!  I really appreciate it so much!!  I will absolutely be checking out the link!!  It just blows my mind with how many seemingly "harmless" substances are out there that can destroy people's health and well-being.  As we know, many people including doctors still think that benzos are harmless!  It's incredibly frightening.  My perspective on so many things has been completely changed in this last year.

 

Can I ask why you did go back on the caffeine after a week?  Was the c/t unbearable?  And I completely relate to the fatigue.  It's the reason I really wanted to drink caffeine again - for that little boost.  I hope I haven't gotten myself in too deep already.  I'm beginning to wonder though how I will feel a few years down the road with absolutely no benzos or caffeine - perhaps better than I have in a very long time?  With everything I've gone through over the last 12 years or so, I'm not even sure what "normal" feels like anymore.  Did you experience the same thing?  I can't even imagine being sick for so long - was feeling well again so foreign for you?

 

 

[[pr...]]

i haven't had caffeine or coffee since i did the c/t from the benzo's. been over 2 years. i'm okay without it.

 

Polenta, that link you provided is interesting. i also had read somewhere when hypothyroid people,

with low glycogen stores, drink coffee on an empty stomach, they get shaky, might faint or have panic attack, etc.

but i can't remember where i read that?

[[po...]]

I was suicidally depressed and agitated when I came off caffeine, and realised i would have to taper.

 

Sorry will aswer more fully another time, one of my sick cats has been sneezing up blood all night, and am exhausted and will have to carry him to vets later (too early am atm)

[[Li...]]

thanks again Lily.

 

I hope your healing journey is as short as possible.

 

By the way, regarding your cholesterol, did you know that coconut oil,(you can cook with it, use it like butter, put it on your skin and hair), raises your HDL (good cholesterol) and can give you a better ratio of LDL:HDL?

 

Thank you Polenta for your thoughts on coconut oil!  I actually have some here!  Yay!  I like to use it to bake with once in a while or for oil pulling, too.  : )

 

I usually have very low HDL, but since the W/D I have really been eating only olive oil, avocados, and nuts for sources of oil so this last test in May showed it was 58!  I will definitely use the coconut oil in my baked goods more and feel good about it!  Now, if I could just get my body to quit making so much of the bad stuff on it's own! 

 

Thank you for your post to me!

 

Love,

Lily 

 

Oh!  I just read your last post!  I will be holding you both close and hoping the Vet. can help.  I am so sorry.  Our furry family members are so important in our lives that things like this are heart breaking to go through.  Sending you prayers...  and hugs.  Please write and let us know how your kitty is.

[[Ja...]]

Polenta,

 

I am praying for you and your cats. I love cats with all my heart.

 

My cat is 16.8 years old and has chronic renal failure. I pray every day that God will not take her from me yet. She sleeps with me every night.

 

            Love, Jadetortoise

[[pr...]]

so sorry to hear that Polenta. i hope your kitty pulls through just fine and will be praying for both of you.

 

Jade, do you give you cat subQ fluids? that is what i started to do when i heard my cat had renal faliure and she lasted about 7-8 years more. i also gave her deer antler herb and i really think it helped her. i don't really like saying these things in case it doesn't work for another cat -- but it did for mine. i was so surprised at all long she lasted. i wish i had started the fluids a lot earlier so she had gotten use to it because he absolutely hated it and i would have to bring her to the vet everytime for fluids.

[[po...]]

Thank you so much for all the good wishes, and Jade, I so know how you feel, both my cats (brothers) are around 15 or 16 too, and I am SO WORRIED,  the vet told me it could be an allergy to their new (foul smelling) "best cat litter in the world" or it could be some much more serious things, which I coulddn't take in, (no sleep).  Any way he is keeping him in and trying him with something like Piriton, I can't honesly remember,but it deals with allerigies, 

 

Am terrified it is going to happen to my other cat because it is Sunday tomorrow, and I simply cannot afford a cab to the emergency vet or any more fees.

 

I think he said he would ring me this evening , so I will try and get some sleep (not much chance, but i will try)

 

Thanks again dear friends……..

 

 

[[we...]]

Polenta, thanks for taking the time to answer our question. 

 

Sorry about your cats, they have been with you through this whole journey with you.

 

How long after you were off caffeine did you start to see improvements?  Polenta, were you  protracted for 24 years or for 15 years?

 

[[po...]]

protracted for 24 years or so - too tired to think atm.

 

I had no depression at all since I got back on to caffeine and started a sensible taper, everything else has happened v gradually, you can read my progress on the caffeine faq site above.

 

 

thanks for good wishes, waiting to hear from vet atm, may be tomorrow before he rings me.

[[Li...]]

 

 

Dear Polenta,

 

I am sending best wishes for your cat and for you, too.  I understand much about what you are going through.... I am hanging on with you.

 

Let us know when the Vet calls...

 

For now, please do try to rest.  I know it is so hard.  (((Hugs)))

 

Love,

Lily

[[po...]]

Thank you (again) Lily and all, vet said that he has only sneezed blood twice during the night so he thinks the piriton is working and it could be a reaction to the cat litter.  He said I could give the one I have at home (who seems to be going down with cystits) the 3 capsules of antirobe I have stashed away and can take him in tomorrow if no better, and that I may be able to get the other one home if he has stopped sneezing - will ring me tomorrow morning. 

 

Its a good thing I am quite strong, they weigh about 6 kg each and it is a long way to the bus stop!!!

 

 

Going to eat something now, have had no appetite until i heard from vet!!!

 

Thanks again for all the support

[[Li...]]

 

That is wonderful news, Polenta!  I hope that your cat can come home tomorrow and that the one at home will respond to the meds. you have there.  Blessings upon all of you!

 

I converted the kg to pounds and they are good sized cats!  Six kg would be between 13 and 14 pounds!  That is a lot of weight to carry, carefully especially, for a very far!

 

I hope you could eat a good meal as you are going to need your strength to bring home your kitty!  lol! 

 

Thanks for updating so we would know how everyone is!

 

Love,

Lily

 

P.S.  - What country do you live in? 

[[Ja...]]

Polenta,

 

Are you and your cats okay? Praying for them and you. 

 

                    Jade

[[po...]]

Thank you Jade, I am at my wit's end really - my cat at at the vets came home but sneezed up blood again but we decided he was better at home so he is with me, has not sneezd blood again, but all he does is drink so much water and lie as still as a stone.  I so hope his kidneys are ok…..

I try and tempt them to eat with different things, the other one is sort of ok, but not the other ……..

 

I am so exhausted, I don't know how much longer I can carry on like this (thats just how I feel now, but I am sure that if I could relax and rest a bit I would not be thiking like that)

 

P

 

He can't bear to be touched or even gently groomed at the moment, poor boy

[[pr...]]

i'm so sorry polenta! i know how powerless and awful one feels when something like this happens.

 

i hope something changes with your kitty.

 

pretty

[[Ja...]]

Polenta, I just typed you a long post and somehow lost it all...

 

I am praying for you and your kitties. Maybe he is just run down and needs to rest, esp. if it is an allergy. Did the vet do any bloodwork to check things out, like the kidneys while he was there?

 

Try to rest yourself, I know it is very hard to rest when our babies are ill.

 

I am really exhausted and getting hit even worse than last summer. :'( I had a mini window I think about a week ago, 2 hours before bedtime. Everything lifted, but I got slammed even worse upon awakening and have been for 7 days now. After a rare 1 or 2 hour window I always get hit even harder, never any higher baseline. I am getting really severe hot flashes and sweats again too, way worse than ever before. The heat here makes it so much harder.

 

I am sending positive thoughts, prayers and healing energy to you and both cats.

 

              love, Jade

 

 

 

 

[[pr...]]

polenta,

 

i don't know about anyone else's kitties and hate to give any advice in case anything goes wrong. but in my own experience with kneeknee, the vet told me that she would be more comfortable if she had the SubQ fluids a few times per week when she had her kidney stuff going on. and while she miraculously came out of that kidney failure type stuff, i did take her to the vet a few times weekly so she could have her fluids. i couldn't give them to her myself as she hated it and was too strong and put up a fuss. i don't know? just a thought. maybe it would help.??

 

pretty

[[po...]]

He does know about the situation and the boy is drinking loads and loads, they were both on drips whilst they were at the vets, so I don't think the vet thinks it is caused by their kidneys.  He has just asked me to monitor them and keep in touch.

 

I eat some beetroot leaves yesterday (for the first time) and didn;t like them at all, in fact they have made my mouth and throat burn, so if my cats feel anything like I do, multiplied by a hundred, then I could understand why they would want only to drink, they have been drinking milk too.

 

Thanks Pretty!

 

 

[[po...]]

Jade, I remember those windows, sometimes for half an hour and I remember at one stage, I used to get one at 4 pm every afternoon for about an hour..

 

By the way, when I stopped all my supplements, it took months before I felt any improvement, in case you have tried this.  Particularly the vitain d took more than a year to get out of my system, but I had stopped having any windows at all by then, so if you are still having windows, it may be useless advice to you.  But I would give it a try.  It is so difficult knowing what is down to intolerances when one has so many constant symptoms, but with my own experience, I certainly wish I had been avoiding food additives and supp;ements and caffeine from the beginning.

 

thanks for all your support re the cats

 

Px

[[ho...]]

Hi Polenta - sorry for my delayed response!  I am so sorry to hear about your cats!!  I hope they're doing a bit better being home with you, and I hope you've been able to get some rest too!  Thanks again for all the info you've shared about you're experience - it means so much!!

[[Li...]]

 

Thinking of you and your cats.  I hope things are improving...  prayers for you.

 

Lily