~~The Bedridden Club~~

[[4G...]]

Hello. I am stuck in bed at the moment. Everything is just too much for me. I got up to make my boyfriend's evening meal. I was only heating something up from out of the freezer, but I was shaking and just not in a good place.

 

Is anyone else in bed today? Mine is because of anxiety and depression.  Gilly xxx

[[Li...]]

Hey Gilly

I’m back in bed today. Yesterday I actually got out of the house, but it was rough.

Sorry to see you and everybody on this forum. The LH forum doesn’t seem appropriate for me.

I don’t know where I belong, but I’m in hell. I’m also shaking. Couldn’t get up to make my smoothie til just now, and it’s almost 1 pm.  Depression and anxiety is such a bad combo. But my body pain is also over the top today. I just got lectured by my husband and son how this isn’t working for me. I should just drop the Valium.

Is it horrible to say that I’m jealous of A couple of girls on the other forum that are doing ok? I’m

Getting worse. I’ve only cut .2 mg since I think Jan. Am I holding too long?

 

I’m sorry things aren’t improving for you.

 

I used to love my house. I’m starting to loathe it.

Love Lil ❤️

[[4G...]]

Lil, Your husband and son just don't realise how to come off benzos. It's not their fault. It is not something that people usually know about unless they have been through it themselves. Once people find out that it is the Benzo that is causing the problem, they want to come off it straightaway. That seems to make sense. But, as you know, it doesn't work like that. I've hardly come off any of my benzo recently. I am now on 4.77mg of Valium. If I get a window then I'm not going to come off any more. I'm going to hold for a while.

 

You know, you can be on here AND be on the LHSG. The people there like you.

 

Gxxx

[[Li...]]

Thanks Gilly

I just feel like I bring people down, though everybody there is so sweet and wonderful to me.

I think I need to soak up some of their good attitude.

 

Let’s hope holding gives us a break and a chance to enjoy a bit of summer.

xxxLg

[[Ma...]]

Thanks Gilly

I just feel like I bring people down, though everybody there is so sweet and wonderful to me.

I think I need to soak up some of their good attitude.

 

Let’s hope holding gives us a break and a chance to enjoy a bit of summer.

xxxLg

 

We love you both , Mary ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

[[Li...]]

Love you back, Mary!!

I hate being so needy. That’s not who I am.

I’m in awe of your strength and your ability to make everybody feel better during bad times.

Now can you wave your magic wand and get me out to enjoy the Memorial Day weekend??

Big Hugs xx❤️❤️

[[Ma...]]

Love you back, Mary!!

I hate being so needy. That’s not who I am.

I’m in awe of your strength and your ability to make everybody feel better during bad times.

Now can you wave your magic wand and get me out to enjoy the Memorial Day weekend??

Big Hugs xx❤️❤️

 

If I had a magic wand , we , including me) would be out enjoying it , I promise you 

[[4G...]]

Thank you, Mary. xxx 💙

[Guest [di...]]

This is so hard. I've been bedridden for six months now. Depression, anxiety, agoraphobia, and really bad back and leg pain/spasms. Now I'm really feeling ill and having migraines and bad nausea and trouble sleeping. My life has no color, all the lights are out. I feel like I can't do this anymore and I have a really long way to go. I'm so sick of TV and then when I try to do anything I see why I'm stuck in bed. I try not to think about how long this is going to take.

 

I blame myself for all of this like I unconsciously blame myself for all the abuse I endured that led me to need these medications in the first place. ugh

[[So...]]

Please tell me what exactly is making you all bed ridden?

I currently don't have any strength whatsoever, but have the want and desire to be walking.

[[Tr...]]

I have also been a member of this club. And I thought I would be bedridden forever. My future. But now I feel better. So there is a light in the tunnel.

 

Does anyone know how it goes for FuzzyDunlop? Now he is a guest. I'm worried, he felt so bad.

 

And 4GillyBlossom6, how is it going for you?

 

[[jo...]]

Hello

I have not read this thread because I am on valium and am a big softy.

I just wanted to extend BIG love to all those who are bedridden and all those who have been bedridden.

I hope all of those ex-bedridden members are now in a better place and I hope that current bedridden people improve, and notice even the slightest improvement every day, and ultimately end up living a good life.

❤️

[[...]]

Thank you Journey.

 

It seems like there has not been posts here in quite some time. I hope this is a good sign!

 

 

 

Fonz

[[Su...]]

Hi,

 

Is this group still active? I hope this means people are better,  but wondering if there are others out there who are this ill?

 

Also, I have a chronic illness and am disabled (aside from K), and was wondering if there is a support group for that?

 

 

[[Be...]]

You can start your own support group on the Support group board.

[[La...]]

This is not a fun club to be in. Feels like being in prison .

[[me...]]

Please tell me what exactly is making you all bed ridden?

 

 

Too physically ill to sit up or stand, obviously.

[[Ro...]]

Hi Guys,

 

I just found this support group but see no one has been on here for a while. Is anyone else currently stuck in bed/ couch ridden?

 

I have been at best lying on my side on the couch or lying in bed since I hit about 5mgV on my taper. Never leaving the house. Only up to eat and go to the loo. Good days are on the couch reading or watching TV. Bad days flat on my back in bed staring at the ceiling and panicking. Only getting up for the loo or to eat a quick meal.

 

I've had about 2 weeks of bad days in a row lying in bed and sliding along the wall and grabbing furniture to get to the loo. I am trying really hard to tell myself that this will pass but doubts keep creeping in that this is it as I've caused too much damage.

 

Sending well wishes. Roxy

[[La...]]

Hi Roxy. Yes I'm still partially bedridden. Just in the past 2 months I've been able to be up and around for a couple of hours at a time. Back to bed when it gets too intense for a couple of hours then up again. This took me a very very long time. Much patience and positivity will get you through the days. It's tempting to think you'll always be like that especially after many months. But don't believe that. I think I was one of the worst cases I've read about on here. Just this past Sunday for the first time in nearly 2 years I was able to sit up in a chair and watch a movie with my family. Wow I'm so happy! I know you feel down and hating being in bed. But what helped me was looking at it like this....

My brain and body has gone through hell with tapering, withdrawals and being altered from its normal functioning. So this didn't happen over night therefore I won't heal over night either. My body and brain knows how to protect itself. It knew that I couldn't handle being upright until it healed a bit. So it let me know to stay laying down to protect me from further injury. Although frustrating to lay in bed all day and night except to go to the bathroom, this was a MUST ( absolutely necessary). When our bodies are at rest, it can heal itself better because it's not being interrupted by activity. Knowing this I embraced what it was telling me that it needed even though it wasn't pleasant. Even though it made me miss out on life with family, things I enjoy etc. I also became completely bedridden after my reduction of 5mg down to 4.5mg Ambien. I also was barely able to sit up to eat small amounts of food at a time. So I know EXACTLY how you feel. Please give yourself some time to heal. Your body is doing this to protect you. It will get better with time. Especially once you're done with your taper. It might take awhile. Please be patient and trust the process. I spent my time in bed watching old sitcoms, movies I hadn't seen in a long time, new series, playing games, writing, having fun here on BB, watching comedy standups, YouTube, Netflix, talking on the phone, making plans when I'm out of bed again etc I told myself each morning " ok let's see if we healed a little" then I'd try to walk around. If it didn't work then I'd wait a few days and try again but I didn't let it get the best of me. Stay positive. It's not permanent. Do what you can each day to make you smile. Big hugs! Hope this helps and message me anytime sweetie or post here. You're not alone.

[[me...]]

Back to bed when it gets too intense

 

What, specifically gets to intense?

 

How long are you benzo free?

[[ho...]]

Hi- I am having a super hard time too.  I have had some windows and get out sometimes but this past month, I have had more couch days.  I do get up and do a few things....I may run an errand every other day and maybe not for a week or so.  It’s miserable.  I am only half way too.  I just am in the middle of switching to liquid V and will begin a micro taper moving forward, so I hope that will help.  I have currently been in a hold since last month too. I absolutely hit a wall and the benzo flu was just too much ( I have had it a couple other times and couldn’t take it anymore).

 

I am really hoping that things turn around.....

 

Marie

[[Ro...]]

Hi LadyDen

 

Thank you Thank you Thank you for getting back to me. It means a lot. Sorry I disappeared.

 

I had written out a post on my phone memo app ages ago (I've got bigger font on that than BBs so easier to write on my small phone screen with my new blurry vision ), but in my messy state it looks like I forgot to hit the 'post' button! I then went into more days of the blurry sweat drenched wide awake terror thing. I just emerged to the couch and looked back on BBs and my post is not there. My brain is officially fried...

 

I have been very messy since I hit these lower doses. I only found BBs when I hit 1mg at the end of last year.

 

I didnt want anyone else to be here, or have been here, in the bedridden thread  but if there are a few of us around it makes sense to connect. Being bed/couch ridden level brings extra/increased physical and mental problems while it's going on.   I'm getting it pretty tight these days. I guess that's why a thread is already here for this this.

 

I'm sorry to hear that you are still partially bedridden but delighted that you are now moving around and able to sit though a movie with your family. YAY 👍 I'm so grateful for the hope that brings me too as you were in my shoes not so long ago. No way could I sit to watch even adverts right now as I'm physically too weak and my brain is like a rusted sieve!

 

The niggling voice of doubt that there must be permanent damage when things have gone this far has been getting louder and louder the closer to the end of my taper I get and the more days bedridden. Your post has given me hope to hang onto.

 

My damage didn't happen overnight either. 9 years in May since I got my first script for valium. I'm hoping I'm off by then.

 

It is a very helpful thought that if we are lying down it is a protective mechanism to shut down interruption and accelerate healing. It helps with that frustration and my niggling guilt of - 'maybe I should push myself a bit harder or I'm being lazy.

 

I forgot about stand up comedy and I used to really love it. I also enjoyed games on my phone and haven't enjoyed that for ages either. I will give those a go. I will check out the ' just for fun' board again too. Just found it recently. Had a brief go but things got too intense again. I've worked out by now that I'm going to be going through this for quiet a while.....

 

I hope something happens today to make you smile too.

 

Roxy xx 

 

 

[[Ro...]]

Hi Marie,

 

I am really hoping that you have had a window since and less couch time? I like your idea to microtaper the rest of the way down. If I had it to do again I would do that to smooth out those bigger bumps in the road.  I am hoping that you get a really smooth end to your taper.

 

For me a window finally arrived (very cloudy but great relief so no complaints). I've not yet had close to a symptomless window . Some window couch time now - snacking, telly watching, post writing. Well 2 posts! - A win given my recent brain function! ) .

 

Sending wishes for long and many windows. 

 

Roxy x

 

[[ho...]]

Roxy- That is great news that you have/had a partial window!!  Yay!  I know you are getting close to the end.....and lots of healing is going on.  Hopefully you will get more windows moving forward.

 

My hold really helped a lot.  I have decided to go with a “symptom based” taper and the DLMT moving forward.  It may take a lot longer but I just can’t fathom being bed ridden/couch bound and the benzo flu like I had for month on end,  The hold proved to work wonders and so, that’s helped so much.  It does frustrate me that this will now take much longer but if I can function ( for now) I have to go this route.  It may end up bad again near the end, who knows....I’ll deal with that when it comes.

 

I hope today you are able to be up 

 

Marie

[[Ro...]]

 

Hi Marie

 

I am so pleased that you have had such relief from your hold. I did a 10 week hold at 1mg after finding BBs and learning that I had gone too fast in the lower mg.

 

Your symptom based taper and DLMT sounds like the ideal to me. I only learned about tapering on here during my hold when I got to 1mg after crashing into all sorts of trouble. I was doing cut and hold ignoring symptoms and not doing the calculations for a Smith taper. 1mg out of 5mg is a big shock but 1mg out of 4mg was hell for me.

 

I did my taper in a way that it became all of my life instead of part of it but then I only found BBs when I hit 1mg and just made it up myself as, I went along down to that. My psychiatrist just prescribes what I ask for.

 

If I could turn back the clock and make the taper become part of my time rather than all of my time under normal circumstances I would go slower. Under current circumstances where there hadn't been much life to be had here due to our pretty strict lockdowns (and I am Shielded due to underlying conditions), I think it might have been the right decision for this weird time.

 

I am up again today. I hope you are doing better today too? That last window when I last posted here didn't last so long, probably because I am getting near now and kept cutting due to impatience.

 

Sending wishes for continued windows on your weekend.