~~The Bedridden Club~~

[Guest [Fu...]]

I relate 100% to everything you said. That's my every day. I'm starting to really lose hope. I can't live this way.

[[tr...]]

I'm so tired of this feeling of "flu and high fever" that I've been living for 26 months. Music, TV, Internet and reading are so unpleasant. I can`t  do anything, is it never over?

[[tr...]]

Today is a good day, finally, the last thing I want is lying on the couch. But it`s nice weather, and that means a lot. Tomorrow there will be a snow storm again, and then it's time to crawl under the blanket. I can clean and vacuum, what a feeling! But I have to take it very carefully, otherwise it will only be a backlash.

 

How is it going for you? I hope with all my heart that you will soon get such a day too.   

[Guest [Fu...]]

Not good. Usually this is one of the happiest times of year for me with March Madness starting tomorrow but I'm just so overwhelmed with fear, depression and fatigue don't even care. Also I can't watch TV so that doesn't help.

[[tr...]]

The joy didn`t last long, a little stress destroyed all the way, I can`t stand anything.

 

Fuzzy, it's the same for me, it may seem unpleasant to watch TV. Reading doesn`t go either. So life is nothing.....

 

 

 

[[az...]]

At 17 mo. I am no longer bed ridden, but I cannot stay in bed.

[[4G...]]

What do you mean, Azalea?

[[4G...]]

In bed again. Just don't want to get up. Can't see any future. Been like this for too long. Anyone else in bed today?

[[tr...]]

Gilly, I'm also still bedside, just wanna be up for shorter moments. When I get down I get anxiety and a lot palpitations. I think I should be calm then, but it will be the opposite. Is it alike for you?

 

Have you lowered your dose further since October-17, och that`s why you feel så bad?

[[4G...]]

Hi Translator. I have cut down a bit. I am now on 5.38mg Valium. I am on the sofa watching tv. What are you doing?

Hugs. x

[[az...]]

What do you mean, Azalea?

 

Gilly, what I’m attempting to say is that I used to be bedridden, I did that for a while and now I cannot feel like being in my bed. It’s really difficult, it’s like not feeling like eating ever. Unsettled mostly, then it gets better though because I’ve been “forcing” people firmly but as gently as I can to help me and listen to my plight (benzodiazepines.)

[[tr...]]

Azalea, do you experience restlessness when you don`t want to be somewhere? Everything feels uncomfortable, and the bed/couch just reminds you of all the awful things you've experienced. For me it is, I don`t like somewhere. Just want to get lost in a bubble.

[Guest [Fu...]]

I don't know about you guys but after spending a lot of time in bed not only am I dehydrated and malnourished but I have a ton of energy that if I don't move around and burn off makes me feel absolutely insane. I have talked to a lot of people in tolerance who were kindled who said they spent literally all day in bed everyday. I've spent the majority of the day in bed for almost a year and I really feel like I'm losing it. I always struggle with whether or not I should force myself to at least try and get up and do as much as my body permits me to. I totally get extremely restless which leads to bad rage but if I do anything I can easily overexert myself and the depression and terror are so bad it's like I can't do that either. It's a miserable way to live and I don't know what to do other than hope I see windows at some point because this is unbearable.

[[tr...]]

Now I have spent 26 months in bed/sofa, and sometimes wondering who I really have become. Have always been active, wanted to help others and my home has been very well-kept, on the verge of pedant. I never thought that I would sink so low in terms of diet, exercise and taking care of myself. Now it will be nothing, my life is one big chaos.

 

I know it was completely wrong to quit CT, but the only option was to buy drugs from unknown people on the street. In addition, I felt terribly bad of every little tablet, would no longer stress the brain with a lot of poison. Feeling that only when I completely finished the tablets the healing would start, otherwise they would only light the fire even more. So it had to wear or burst.

But I'm still on the right side of the healing, though I'm sometimes crazy. The brain wants to be everywhere, but the body just wants to sit still and shut up.

 

I have also tried to claim myself, but it will only be a backlash. If I try to clean I will be very stressed, and will have heart palpation and difficulty breathing. It's like sitting in ants, it's as bad if I'm left or touching me.

 

I have also been waiting for windows, but everyone doesn`t get it, so I've given up. Have had 5 x 5-6 hours during these 26 months. I'm afraid I'm waiting for something that never comes, so I don`t care to wait.

But I'll get through this, but for the moment I don`t  even work for 5 minutes. But it must go......

 

Fuzzy, sorry if I don`t really understand your signature. What does it look like today, have you stopped the tablets?     

 

[[Mr...]]

I have had several years confined to a room during psych drug withdrawals.

 

I wouldn't say I have been bedridden, but certainly confined to a chair in the corner of the room for months and months.

 

I have barely been able to leave my room for the past few weeks due to extreme fatigue and sensory hypersensitivity. For the first time, I've felt like a shower was way too much for me and have just been wiping myself with a cloth for the past week. Pretty extreme.

 

I wonder what people's reasons for being bedridden are here ?

 

My reason for being confined to a chair was fatigue and hypersensitivity... but I cannot fully comprehend lying down for long periods.

 

Medical studies have shown time and time again that bed rest has a negative effect on recovery from most illness and surgeries (except when absolutely needed).

 

It's a funny thing... Because most associate bed rest with healing.

 

But the reality is the body heals by moving. Moving encourages all kinds of regenerative, healing processes to happen. Lying down an extended time also creates big issues with blood pressure, heart rate and so on with postural change.

 

There was a paid study for people to lie down for 30 to 60 days... And they became extremely ill... And spent a huge amount of time adapting to getting upright again.

 

I've also noticed the longer I've spent stuck in my room and chair... The more agoraphobic, and health anxious I've become.

 

I'm terrified to go for small walks at this stage, I just feel exhausted and like I will crash if I go too far from the safety of my room. It's impossible to enjoy with hypersensitivity too. I just feel overwhelming apprehension.

 

I think being confined to a chair/bed is possibly one of the worst things for healing... Speaking from personal experience.... Because when you're in that state you've probably stopped all of the other things in life that help healing ; fresh air, sunlight, exercise, hobbies, work, love, movement, etc.... So it's almost impossible and illogical to expect yourself to heal.

 

I remember in brutal psychiatric drug withdrawal a few years ago... I was confined to a room with brutal symptoms for 6 months. It was only after I forced myself out in nature for a week no matter how I felt, did I begin to feel better.

 

Don't get me wrong, it was brutal and terrible suffering to do it start with... But by about 10 days or so my nervous system seemed to thank me. I realised the room lacked everything I needed to heal...and not only that but was heavily associated with the mental anguish and suffering... There were no positive associations with that place.

 

 

As of now... I've been stuck in a chair in the dark mostly for a few months for fatigue.... I'm trying to stabilize then encourage myself out into the fresh air again... Where there can be more chance of healing...

 

 

All the best everyone stuck in bed or in a chair like me

 

Wishing you health and happiness...

 

Mr eggplant aka chair eggplant

 

[[tr...]]

MrEggplant,you're quite right, being bedside is not good for the body. Although it`s a big hurdle to get out of bed a few days after surgery, it is a must. The muscles tangle pretty soon, and can very quickly be down to 30%. Then there is a high risk of falling and breaking legs.

 

To belong to the "bedridden club" is actually a symbol for not being able to get up as much as usual. It doesn`t  always mean that you lie in bed all the time. It may also mean that you have to rest on the couch on a regular basis, or sit in an armchair.

Had I been completely bedridden for 2 years I would probably have to wheelchair to get somewhere. But I know exercise is very important, and therefore usually goes up and down for the stairs in the stairwell. I usually also go down to the exercise bike in the basement.

 

Some days, when there is a snow storm, I get "benzo flu", and then it's hard to stay up for longer periods. I think we all understand that it can mean a catatropic for muscles and leads to stay in bed all the time. At regular intervals the body sends out signals that it is now time to travel from the bed, the sofa or the chair. If we didn`t , we would probably all suffer from infections and other diseases that are due to inactivity.

So, even if it's called "the beridden club" it doesn`t  mean the only thing we do is chew the food.

 

I don`think THERE IS SO MUCH DIFFERENCE IN HANGING ON THE COUCH OR BE STUCK IN A CHAIR - HOW FAR YOU HAVE GONE A DAY WILL PROBABLY BE THE SAME.

 

So, are we lying in bed and pinging a bell when we need help? No.

 

MrEggplant: I can´t  find your signature. Stabilizing, or completely exposing the tablets, can mean a very big difference - especially if you did CT. Wondering how long have you been without tablets?

 

 

[[az...]]

Azalea, do you experience restlessness when you don`t want to be somewhere? Everything feels uncomfortable, and the bed/couch just reminds you of all the awful things you've experienced. For me it is, I don`t like somewhere. Just want to get lost in a bubble.

 

This is it. You have said exactly what the issue is in my situation.

[[tr...]]

Azalea, it's the same for me. It feels like I don`t  belong to this world, as if I'm standing outside. There  is not something I can, or will, do because it's so unpleasant. The only time I get some peace is when I'm under the blanket  trying to meditate. Sometimes I get up because I only get more anxiety and palpitations. What can help me is guided meditations on YouTube.

But we're going to get this Azalea, it's coming for us one day too. At the moment, it feels very far away, I don`t remember how it feels normal. We try to take one day at a time, and support each other here at BB. We'll do this together! Hug!

[[az...]]

Hug

[Guest [Fu...]]

Yes my signature is kind of confusing as I spent all of 2017 making foolish changes. I am currently doing a daily microtaper off of 2.5 mg's of Klonopin using a razor and scale. Tapering at less than 5% a month because my central nervous system is so sensitive at this point.

 

I agree with everything that was saud. Avoiding everything has made my mental state deteriorate so much. I don't even feel comfortable in my house or in my room anymore. I have to try and force myself to go out and get some sunlight and fresh air everyday.

[[tr...]]

Fuzzy, that's the same with me, I no longer enjoy my home. Mornings are the worst, always awake with headache and strong pressure across the throat, chest and stomach. It's hard to breathe, and takes me through second, minute and hour. It feels like mold throughout the body.

 

I should shower, but I can`t, not today. My home is one big mess, I just can`t understand what has happened. Is it true, or just a nightmare?

[[tr...]]

It took three days to finally get into the shower. I don`t like it because it hurts, I panic and just want to get from there. Unfortunately, I have no bathtub. Is it alike for you? Do the family, and friends, understand what you are going through?

[Guest [Fu...]]

The shower is one of the worst places to have a panic attack because it's such a vulnerable spot. My family understands as much as I can expect them too but my friends don't really. Most of them just tell me to go to rehab and don't get why I can't.

[[tr...]]

Sorry if I'm difficult, I don`t  want to complain because I know that everyone here is as hard. But today, I feel so deep despair and hopelessness that I don`t know where to go.

 

It was crazy about CT after being polydrugged for 25 years. In addition, I had been bedside for about 12 years, now I understand that there was tolerance and withdrawal. My husband died, and there was a noise for 2 years for the testament. So there's so much that the body should heal from, and I know it takes time. But sometimes it feels just so heavy. Sorry if I became a bit too personal, but sometimes it's nice to talk to my friends. Thanks!

[[Mr...]]

Sorry if I'm difficult, I don`t  want to complain because I know that everyone here is as hard. But today, I feel so deep despair and hopelessness that I don`t know where to go.

 

It was crazy about CT after being polydrugged for 25 years. In addition, I had been bedside for about 12 years, now I understand that there was tolerance and withdrawal. My husband died, and there was a noise for 2 years for the testament. So there's so much that the body should heal from, and I know it takes time. But sometimes it feels just so heavy. Sorry if I became a bit too personal, but sometimes it's nice to talk to my friends. Thanks!

 

Dear translator, sorry you are suffering, I have been there

 

Try this:

 

Tap in the same places and repeat after him. Do a few rounds of it,  as many as you like.

 

Let me know if you feel a small amount better. It helped me a little at my worst, when a 1% improvement was profound.

 

I couldn't find your story - what was the reason you CTed rather than tapered ? All the best, mr eggplant