The Xanax Club, Let Us Know How You Are Feeling Today

[[ba...]]

Thank you blue!

 

Your kind words are giving me the strength to make my next cut...TODAY!

 

I know exactly how you feel. In tiny increments, I'm feeling a little like I used to so many years ago. (The windows) But with that comes more awareness of my emotions. Weird!

 

[[ba...]]

hi blue,

 

thank you for suggestions.so i think i have to sit beside one of our relatives,she is psychologist and knows about my tapper program and panics.at least she undrestands.if tomorrow i get through this i'll be so hopeful  see ,i'm waiting for panic attacks ,this increases my stress.i try to be calm

 

wish me luck 

 

I wish you all the luck in the world! I have had a lifetime of anxiety and panic. Xanax, however, only made it worse in the long run! Recovery will come for you! 

[Guest [ve...]]

Am I doing this right? Reply to the last reply or to the original post?

Today I'm feeling better physically, (ie stomach, cramps, headache, bowels) but my anxiety is halfway thru the roof, frustrated, scared that my doc's 6day detox plan at half the normal meds (which I began after a 9 dayC/T withdrawal) is going to send me spiraling. (Anticipatory anxiety?). Also tommorow is the wonderful "Bills day" when I have to decide between, finding a doctor or keeping my electricity on or food, so I'm pretty overwhelmed.

  Didn't get much sleep so I'm exhausted, my apt looks like an episode of "hoarders" and I'm doing maybe an hours worth of cleaning a day. Beating myself up over that and bearly making progress.

  Thankful for the cessation of physical problems. But very depressed and overwhelmed with psych ones.

[[...]]

  Hello Saharsandy,

 

  First of all, you will be just fine. Sometimes we just need to take a deep breath. But sometimes we need to take a few. This is okay, and the advise Blue has given you is great. To have a Aunt sit next to you, and guide you threw this wonderful day is a blessing. Your Aunt should know what to do. She is the arm to grab onto if you start to panic. But just be tough and you will do fine.

  But if you have a problem, I don't want to say this, just keep a spear pill in your purse. And let you Aunt know that you have packed one in case things get tight for you.  For me, and only me, I would try to adjust to the the people around me. If things get to loud, just move to a different area with other people. It is like making some rounds in the room. But my favorite one is, if there is dancing going on. Just dance, enjoy yourself and try nit to drink either. This is only my opion. Just let go on the floor, if the fast dancing is not for you this day, turn on the slow dancing with your man.

  Just remember this is your Brother's Day. So enjoy it for him, and let him know that you are happy for him. I myself would just stick by your Aunt, and let her know that you might have a crazy time during this great day. And that you might need here help to get threw it. If she loves you dearly, she will.

 

  But in all, just relax, you will have a great, dance the night away. 

 

Godspeed to you and your family

 

 

Rocket.             

 

[[...]]

  Hello Velmmd,

 

  You will be okay. Remember. Take baby steps first, they you can run. Only my opion, you need the electric on, and you need food to repair the mind and body. You have to eat to survive. The Doctor can come next. If you are having panic attacks, you can get threw this. Just try to be strong, and look forward to were you will be in a few months from now. I know that advise is every where, but I been there, did it, it was tough, but I am much better. When I C/T, after a month, I was going to re-instate my Xanax. But I knew that I would have to start over again.

  So I said to myself, no more. I am taking my life back right now, and I did. 11 months past, I'm better then then I was in beginning. I will never go back, NEVER.

  My advice, just stay strong, and always look forward".............

 

 

Godspeed

 

 

  Rocket.           

[Guest [ve...]]

  Hello Velmmd,

 

  You will be okay. Remember. Take baby steps first, they you can run. Only my opion, you need the electric on, and you need food to repair the mind and body. You have to eat to survive. The Doctor can come next. If you are having panic attacks, you can get threw this. Just try to be strong, and look forward to were you will be in a few months from now. I know that advise is every where, but I been there, did it, it was tough, but I am much better. When I C/T, after a month, I was going to re-instate my Xanax. But I knew that I would have to start over again.

  So I said to myself, no more. I am taking my life back right now, and I did. 11 months past, I'm better then then I was in beginning. I will never go back, NEVER.

  My advice, just stay strong, and always look forward".............

 

 

Godspeed

 

 

  Rocket.           

  Thanks Godspeed. But I can't afford it all. I've been stumbling around since Sept looking for docs and my electicity bill is thru the roof. But I will keep up the search for doctors.

  Proud to here you had the choice to reinstate and didn't take it. If I had that choice I would. Ugghh!!!!

[[...]]

  Hello Velmmd,

 

  Just keep the faith!!!!!  I am sure that you will make it threw this. Just remember, You have to want too, and I am sure you want to get this out of your system.

 

 

  Godspeed to You,,,,,,

 

 

 

  Rocket

 

                           

 

 

[[ba...]]

  Hello Saharsandy,

 

  First of all, you will be just fine. Sometimes we just need to take a deep breath. But sometimes we need to take a few. This is okay, and the advise Blue has given you is great. To have a Aunt sit next to you, and guide you threw this wonderful day is a blessing. Your Aunt should know what to do. She is the arm to grab onto if you start to panic. But just be tough and you will do fine.

  But if you have a problem, I don't want to say this, just keep a spear pill in your purse. And let you Aunt know that you have packed one in case things get tight for you.  For me, and only me, I would try to adjust to the the people around me. If things get to loud, just move to a different area with other people. It is like making some rounds in the room. But my favorite one is, if there is dancing going on. Just dance, enjoy yourself and try nit to drink either. This is only my opion. Just let go on the floor, if the fast dancing is not for you this day, turn on the slow dancing with your man.

  Just remember this is your Brother's Day. So enjoy it for him, and let him know that you are happy for him. I myself would just stick by your Aunt, and let her know that you might have a crazy time during this great day. And that you might need here help to get threw it. If she loves you dearly, she will.

 

  But in all, just relax, you will have a great, dance the night away. 

 

Godspeed to you and your family

 

 

Rocket.             

 

 

Oi81,

 

The cog fog is making me really slow. I just "got" your name! Too funny!    I like your advice to saharsandy. I NEVER go anywhere without spare pills and cuts. What if:

 

There was an emergency with a family member or friend?

Weather and driving delays?

Travel problems?

Accidental loss of pills?

 

I keep enough on hand to tide me over until I can get back to my doc. Plus, I have hoarded all my "leftovers". I have not taken a rescue or updose YET! That doesn't mean that I won't!

 

Sandy,

 

Just knowing you have a pill or two extra may calm some of your anxiety. I, for one, would not like to have the screaming meemies while at any big gathering, let alone a wedding! And if I did, I WOULD take a rescue dose. I have my son's graduation from college coming up. You'd better believe I will be prepared! Otherwise, try to relax. Oh I Ate One has some good advise!

 

 

Velmdd,

 

For me, the cuts have been manageable. But see, now I know why I have been sick for so many years! As far as being overwhelmed, that just depends on the day. So my recommendation would be to prioritize based upon urgency. This is what I have done for years with interdose and tolerance w/d. I quickly sort bills that MUST be paid, and shuffle the rest to the back of the pile. Same with household chores and day to day living. Don't even get me started! I was a preschool director and teacher for years. All this while I was an "accidental addict". 

 

Hugs to all! 

 

[[...]]

  Hello Babyrex and My BB,

 

        Just a short note for now. Today is okay, but the ugly weather is enough to make any one down some. But just keep on smiling. For me today, just the tinnitus is buzzing in my ears today. My bones are a little cold, but will get threw that, no big thing. More energy today, but will not be running a marathon anytime soon, lol.

        If I could let my thoughs flow here for a few, the extra pill in the pocket is okay for you when things get tough. But, I would like to express that you would try to restain from this practice if you can. Carry them, but try not to take them. If you want to get stronger, we just need to fight threw these cravings for the Crazy Little Pill. Remember it's only in our minds that we need the pills. The more that we depend on taking them when things get tough, the longer it will take to get off them, right.

        So my, and only my advice, be strong, fight the addiction. You will make it, honestly. When you get into trouble, and don't take the Crazy Little Pill, We made it. That is one of the first steps of becoming clean. Just try to fight threw the Crazy moments, and you will be blessed.

        Yes, I can say that it is hard, I been there, fought it, and I made it threw. But I know that some of us need a little more help. It is there for your taking. Just read the Forums, or PM some BB. We will always help one another. This is a Great Place.

 

      Godspeed to all os My BB, straight ahead is where you need to point your Life, always forward

 

 

 

Rocket.                     

[Guest [ve...]]

Checking in.  On day 3 of my 6 day doc ween. Not so jolly. My physical symptoms are gone, but psych symptoms, esp anxiety are bad. Anxiety thru the roof, paranoia, agoraphobia, impeding doom. Some have roots in reality, financially, but even that is probably exaggerated.

  So thankful I am not shaking, having tremors, and seizures seem better controlled, (among other things) but finding it hard to deal with going out, or interacting with people I really need to interact with.

[[...]]

  Hello Velmdd,

 

    Hope you are feeling better. Try to be strong. Remember, they are only  SYNTHOMS, and you can fight and push threw this. Things will get easier as time goes by. Time will heal just about everything in our lives. So they to keep busy so your mind will not try to play tricks on you. The more you stay busy doing something, the less time you will have to play along with those crazy SYNTHOMS.

 

 

Godspeed and stay strong

 

 

 

Rocket.             

[[sa...]]

hello guys 

 

i just didi it thank you for your wishes,you're so kind to send me posts during i was dancing in my brother's wedding .NO PANICS that was just great.i'm not gonna lie here.to be honest,for not taking risk before gonig to ceremony i took a little more dosage of  my tappering dose but not over dosed it..i promise it wouldn't happen again till my younger brother's wedding    in the party sometimes i felt shortness of breath but i ignored it and dance.i also had a chat with my special relative  and it was great, too.i talked to her about how i'm tring to tapper and about my dear buddies in benzobuddies,she was really curious about this site .she supported me and told me 3 months on tappering it's not that much long you have to be patient.your mind needs to adjust to new situation.she gave me an example i'm gonna tell you,she told  me just imagine a child when  she wants to walk for the first time she (the child)thinks that she can't because she always used to take her parents's hand.but at the end she walk anywhere on herself,it's just our mind that is afraid of losing sth and not our body. i hope you get it with my broken English. her words were really supporting. yours,too:rocket,blue,babyrex

 

best wishes,

 

saharsandy

[[...]]

  Hello Saharsandy,

 

  Very proud of you, you did very good, take a bow. And just remember when you taper, go at your own pace. You and your body will let you know when to take the next step in cutting your dosage. Don't let anyone tell you to cut, do it yourself. And your English is just fine, the others and I understand what you are saying very well.

  And glad that you had a wonderful time. You go for it. In time you will be 100 percent better. Just remember, that time will usually heal everything. That means You, Our BB and Me.

 

 

  Godspeed to you and family

 

 

Rocket.     

[[...]]

  Hello BB,

 

  I wish everyone a great day today. The weekend is upon us, and everyone needs to keep themselves occupied with some sort of activity.

 

  For me today, tinnitus bothing me some, so will not be making any music in the Studio today.

                        Some burning in the legs, but will go out later and ride my bike for the exercise.

                        Brain Fog not to bad at all today.

                        Energy Level is okay, not 100 percent, but can deal with this.

                        Axniety, seems to be in Check today. That's good news for me.

                        Panic attacks, none today what so ever, Yeah.

                        Back Pain, lower part of back, but just going to deal with it!

                        Although, went out to get my Cadillac washed at the Dealer earlier, No Problem.

                        Should I say the window is open, No, not at all. It's only half way open, but that's                   

                        okay for now, I can deal with that.

                        Had some Blurry Vison, went away, so at the time I was just pretending that I was

                        Drunk, lol. Have to make a joke now an then.

 

    But in all, not to bad of a day. I can see that I am getting better over time. And thou, I still get different SYNTHOMS every month, I adjust, and deal with them. I know that they are only SYNTHOMS. And it is a process and the pattern of Healing.

   

    Yes, Healing, WE WILL ALL GET THERE, SOONER OR LATER.

 

 

Godspeed to all My BB............. 

 

 

    Rocket.               

[[sa...]]

hello buddies,

 

today i had such a terrible dizziness that i couldn't go out.scared of falling    (i've never fallen before),had reflux acid.tinnitus is new for me but it's not scary .thanks god  none of these w/ds can stop me from doing yoga.some stretching movements relieve my muscle pains .

 

rocket,

 

glad to see that you're doing the best ,i think  you're almost healed.please keep going and become our hero here 

[Guest [ve...]]

Hi Buddies

  Esp my X buddies!. Day 13 bad. Couldn't even post till night. But very warmed by all of your posts and efforts. Despite symptoms still going strong as possible. Don't know if I can make it

[[No...]]

 

  Velmdd

              What are you experincing as far as w/d etc. It helps to know where you are at. Are you taking any Xanax?

              Concerned

              Notforme

[[sa...]]

hello buddies,

 

no posts today???is just me having w/ds?i felt good in the morning without any w/ds.in the evening i went for a walk after 40 minutes  i felt soooooo tired as if i walked whole day.i sat somewhere like elderly people ,felt shortness of breath,coughing felt nausa.i just wanted to get home as soon as possible.now i'm good after taking my tappering dose.i don't know if i will go for a walk again 

 

all the best,

 

saharsandy

[Guest [ve...]]

 

  Velmdd

              What are you experincing as far as w/d etc. It helps to know where you are at. Are you taking any Xanax?

              Concerned

              Notforme

How kind! I had started cold turkey and was experiencing

Insomnia, 2 hrs of sleep every two days.

Intense Benzo Rage

Incontinence

Intense Anxiety where I felt all my organs were in my chest twisted up, so I couldn't eat at all

Tremors and tics so bad my lips would twist and couldn't talk

Increased seizures, since I already had refractory seizure disorder due to TBI from an auto accident in 2010, despite my seizure meds

Tachycardia

Stomach pains, akin to a low grade labor pains which were constant.

Increased Agoraphobia, from housebound to bedridden

Vivid Hallucinations

Generalized Panic

Then my doctor who moved out of state finally put me on a 6 day "taper" at half my original dose

The physical symptoms disappeared almost overnight first day and rage turned to depression.

Hallucinations were shorter and less "real"

But as the "6day, shut her up taper" doses are getting smaller

Everything is coming back slowly.

Finding this place was a God send. But the pains are creeping back in. The inability to eat and the bathroom trips are getting more frequent. I know the hallucinations aren't real, but they are getting stronger. Tommorow is my last day of any X a doses so small I don't even think it will register.

But I have an appointment w out of state doc on Tuesday, hoping I can convince him to give me a more realistic taper. And I'm resigned now to go back to ER if not, even though ER where I live is callous and threatening to commit me to the state hospital.

  This morning I haven't even taken the X holding out until the last possible moment, when I start seeing and hearing things, or pre-seizure tremors start.

Thanks for your concern. Day 14

  But concern is appreciated. I plan an accompanied trip to see the doc on Tues, something I f

 

 

 

 

[[Bl...]]

 

  Velmdd

              What are you experincing as far as w/d etc. It helps to know where you are at. Are you taking any Xanax?

              Concerned

              Notforme

How kind! I had started cold turkey and was experiencing

Insomnia, 2 hrs of sleep every two days.

Intense Benzo Rage

Incontinence

Intense Anxiety where I felt all my organs were in my chest twisted up, so I couldn't eat at all

Tremors and tics so bad my lips would twist and couldn't talk

Increased seizures, since I already had refractory seizure disorder due to TBI from an auto accident in 2010, despite my seizure meds

Tachycardia

Stomach pains, akin to a low grade labor pains which were constant.

Increased Agoraphobia, from housebound to bedridden

Vivid Hallucinations

Generalized Panic

Then my doctor who moved out of state finally put me on a 6 day "taper" at half my original dose

The physical symptoms disappeared almost overnight first day and rage turned to depression.

Hallucinations were shorter and less "real"

But as the "6day, shut her up taper" doses are getting smaller

Everything is coming back slowly.

Finding this place was a God send. But the pains are creeping back in. The inability to eat and the bathroom trips are getting more frequent. I know the hallucinations aren't real, but they are getting stronger. Tommorow is my last day of any X a doses so small I don't even think it will register.

But I have an appointment w out of state doc on Tuesday, hoping I can convince him to give me a more realistic taper. And I'm resigned now to go back to ER if not, even though ER where I live is callous and threatening to commit me to the state hospital.

  This morning I haven't even taken the X holding out until the last possible moment, when I start seeing and hearing things, or pre-seizure tremors start.

Thanks for your concern. Day 14

  But concern is appreciated. I plan an accompanied trip to see the doc on Tues, something I f

Your journey is complicated by the traumatic brain injury. May a higher power heal you.

 

Blue

[[Bl...]]

Cut my nightime .03125mgs of Xanax last night, which leaves me with only .03125mgs a day. I am excited that I am almost there.

 

I do have symptoms already, one of which was chaotic dreams that woke me up. I am still feel restless/anxious because of them.

 

I keep thinking of a dozen tasks I could do to burn off some of this "bad" energy, but I do not seem to be able to make a decision of where to start or even if I should start. I feel stuck. Anybody else ever feel this way or am I unique/weird?..LOL.    If so, what helped?

 

Blue

[[Bl...]]

No response from my BBs. Feel free to chime in any time

 

Blue

[Guest [ve...]]

I'm a relatively new "buddie" so I'm sure better advice will come along. I have to watch something on TV I've seen and love like "The Godfather" or some Soprano's, so I don't get triggered seeing something new. Or re-read an old favorite book. Or cooking (I know I sound fat right?) I'm not able to walk or exercise yet, or be out in public alone. Controlled distraction is about all I can handle.

  If you can window shop or get lost in a program, or exercise I imagine that would be great.

  I hope some one else chimes in soon.

  And thank you for responding to my earlier post. Yes my TBI does effect my w/d.

[[Bl...]]

Cleaning is helping some. Maybe later I will try to watch the part of Avatar that is not filled with violence. Violence is too stimulating for me during withdrawal. It never used to be.

 

Take care velmdd, Sahrasandy, Nfm , Rocket and everybody who comes here for support/information. It is a good place

 

Blue

[[No...]]

 

  Blue:

            What are your symptoms like at this low dose? I know you stated anxious.

            I do know that for me when I am busy using my mind I can distract better. Sometimes though

            all you can do is just be kind to yourself.

     

              Congratulations on your progress!!!

                    Notforme