What is happening in your brain?

[[Ke...]]

Another interesting article:

 

[nobbc]http://www.news-medical.net/news/20120316/GABA-neurons-could-help-restore-muscle-coordination-deficits-of-Huntingtons.aspx[/nobbc]

 

Edit: Deactivated commercial link

[[Co...]]

I was very close to going to the hyperbaric chamber last summer...but was a bit expensive and I was in tolerance hell.

 

Remembered they told me you need to go at least 6-10 times to notice some effect and during the treatment to take C-Q10, Vit C and E...

 

Anyway since I'm off now, I might consider it again...also I spoke with some DRs about the benefit of it in helping with the recovery, but they all said "probably not much"... but then again, listening to DRs has gotten me in this mess in the first place, so... 

[[Sk...]]

Britney Spears is having a concert in my brain. 

[[Be...]]

Anyway, guess now according to the article, we should eat every other day ... but since a lot of people suffer from GI problems here (myself included), that might not be such a bad idea at all

 

There is evidently more than a little research to support the idea that intermittent fasting is beneficial to the brain. I wonder if anyone here has tried it?

 

Hi Kevin,

 

Right now I am on 4.5mg of Valium.

 

A few months ago I experimented with the form of intermittent fasting where every second day one eats only one meal of 500 calories and then eats  "normally' the next.  My normal diet is very clean being Organic and all homemade.  I only eat fish and eggs, no animal meat at all. I keep grains to a minimum, fruit to a minimum except berries, and do not take any refined sugars. I don't take tea, coffee or alcohol.

 

My plan was to hopefully assist my brain function, improve my mood ( I have have a history of brain surgery and paralysis from the removal of a tumour), possibly help w/d, increase energy, loose weight.

 

It didn't go well at all.  I found that I was getting very, very dizzy, weak, nauseous and irritable as the days went on.  I think I lasted about 9 days. It took me about two days to recover once I resorted to my usual food.  I concluded that for me in w/d it is too stressful to restrict food intake in that fashion.

 

I'd be curious to see if anyone had a positive outcome..

 

Betsy

[[Co...]]

Wow...thank you very much for the info Betsy !!

 

I did consider to try some kind of "restrictive" diet, but seeing how you fared (and I'm sorry about it), its probably not a good idea for our fragile bodies after all.

 

So one worry less then...I'll eat as usual.

 

Skyzone:    ...you are lucky, it could have easily been a Justin Bieber concert instead 

[[Be...]]

Wow...thank you very much for the info Betsy !!

I did consider to try some kind of "restrictive" diet, but seeing how you fared (and I'm sorry about it), its probably not a good idea for our fragile bodies after all.

 

So one worry less then...I'll eat as usual.

 

Skyzone:    ...you are lucky, it could have easily been a Justin Bieber concert instead 

 

You are welcome!

 

It will be interesting if someone has had a better experience..

[[Ho...]]

Conzumed, I researched the hyperbaric issue awhile back, and I couldn't find any good evidence either way.  I do know that there are a lot of "shops" opening up saying that they cure "everything" and that "drug" w/d is one of them.  But again, I looked it up to help w/ benzo w/d or A/D w/d and I found articles / testimonials saying yes it does, and no it doesn't....

 

It would be interesting if you tried it to see if it works.  I know its a lot of $$$ and it sounds like a huge investment of time.

 

I'm meeting with my integrative doc in a couple of weeks so I'll put it on my agenda to talk to him about.  He's all about alternative therapies, nutrition, etc. (and is an MD) so if any doctor would be "for" it, it would be someone like him.

 

The article on the diet was great....I have personally noticed in my w/d that the days I have a lot of refined sugar, the next day doesn't go so hot....unfortunately sugar is my weak point (Krispy Kremes..mmmmmmmm!!!).  On the Omegas, I'm still on the fence.  I have not tried them but may add them to my repertoire now that I'm 4 months out (but still feeling really awful).

[[Ke...]]

A few months ago I experimented with the form of intermittent fasting where every second day one eats only one meal of 500 calories and then eats  "normally' the next...It didn't go well at all.  I found that I was getting very, very dizzy, weak, nauseous and irritable as the days went on.

 

Betsy, I would imagine that such a diet would be best tried after tapering off the drug and it is completely out of your system. I wonder if anyone off the drug has tried intermittent fasting?

[[Ho...]]

I thought that every other day fasting was very interesting.  However in the past I have read articles that say that we have to "feed" our brain with good nutrients .... that it is important that it stay nourished.  So I was surprised when I read that fasting could be good for it.  Very interesting....but for me, nourishing it is what makes sense to me.

    I will say that when I am in a wave, I have no appetite at all, so there have been days where I didn't eat anything other than a banana in the morning....and I still felt miserable the next day.  But please keep these articles/opinions coming...one of them might be exactly what we need....

Hoping

[[Co...]]

Conzumed, I researched the hyperbaric issue awhile back, and I couldn't find any good evidence either way.  I do know that there are a lot of "shops" opening up saying that they cure "everything" and that "drug" w/d is one of them.  But again, I looked it up to help w/ benzo w/d or A/D w/d and I found articles / testimonials saying yes it does, and no it doesn't....

 

It would be interesting if you tried it to see if it works.  I know its a lot of $$$ and it sounds like a huge investment of time.

 

I'm meeting with my integrative doc in a couple of weeks so I'll put it on my agenda to talk to him about.  He's all about alternative therapies, nutrition, etc. (and is an MD) so if any doctor would be "for" it, it would be someone like him.

 

The article on the diet was great....I have personally noticed in my w/d that the days I have a lot of refined sugar, the next day doesn't go so hot....unfortunately sugar is my weak point (Krispy Kremes..mmmmmmmm!!!).  On the Omegas, I'm still on the fence.  I have not tried them but may add them to my repertoire now that I'm 4 months out (but still feeling really awful).

 

Thanks for the info Hoosier... about the chamber, I think you are right. I have also done a bit of research and couldn't really find any good info or evidence to support it... btw while ago, when I went to the clinic which had the machine, I just had a gut feeling that it would be a major ripoff and I said "no".

 

But keep us posted about the meeting with your MD, hope it will be productive for you 

[[ih...]]

These authors theorize that glutamate up-regulation may play a significant role in bz tolerance & withdrawal so that NMDA receptors are upregulated. Interestingly, clonidine may protect against NMDA related neurotoxicity which is consistent with my experience that clonidine has been the most effective med for me against my previously experienced sx of tachycardia, postural hypotension & adrenaline surges.

 

"Knowledge of the neural mechanisms underlying the development of benzodiazepine (BZ) dependence remains incomplete. The γ-aminobutyric acid (GABAA) receptor, being the main locus of BZ action, has been the main focus to date in studies performed to elucidate the neuroadaptive processes underlying BZ tolerance and withdrawal in preclinical studies. Despite this intensive effort, however, no clear consensus has been reached on the exact contribution of neuroadaptive processes at the level of the GABAA receptor to the development of BZ tolerance and withdrawal. It is likely that changes at the level of this receptor are inadequate in themselves as an explanation of these neuroadaptive processes and that neuroadaptations in other receptor systems are important in the development of BZ dependence. In particular, it has been hypothesised that as part of compensatory mechanisms to diazepam-induced chronic enhancement of GABAergic inhibition, excitatory mechanisms (including the glutamatergic system) become more sensitive [behav. Pharmacol. 6 (1995) 425], conceivably contributing to BZ tolerance development and/or expression of withdrawal symptoms on cessation of treatment, including increased anxiety and seizure activity. Glutamate is a key candidate for changes in excitatory transmission mechanisms and BZ dependence, (1) since there are defined neuroanatomical relationships between glutamatergic and GABAergic neurons in the CNS and (2) because of the pivotal role of glutamatergic neurotransmission in mediating many forms of synaptic plasticity in the CNS, such as long-term potentiation and kindling events. Thus, it is highly possible that glutamatergic processes are also involved in the neuroadaptive processes in drug dependence, which can conceivably be considered as a form of synaptic plasticity. This review provides an overview of studies investigating changes in the GABAergic and glutamatergic systems in the brain associated with BZ dependence, with particular attention to the possible differential involvement of N-methyl-d-aspartate and α-amino-3-hydroxy-5-methyl-4-isoxazole propionic acid receptors in these processes."

Pharmacology & Therapeutics

Volume 98, Issue 2, May 2003, Pages 171–195

[Guest [vi...]]

This will hopefully be an encouraging email to make you feel SAFE and ENCOURAGED.

 

As some of you may know, my degrees are in speech-language pathology (B.A and M.S.)

As part of my Masters study, a big portion of my classes were in neuroanatomy and physiology.

I learned firsthand how to look at a person who had just undergone a stroke or brain injury and read the symptoms, the radiology reports, the doctor's notes,  and based on those symptoms, to form an image in my mind of what was affected in the brain injury - as well as how to formulate a treatment plan to help that person rehabilitate.

 

.

.

.

 

I still get these symptoms - and I'll be SOOOOOO glad when they are gone.

 

Thanks to the Benzo Buddy that brought this up. 

 

:)Parker

 

OMG what a fabulous post! i have read most of your posts parker for, like you, long term benzo use gives me depression (not depressed right now but i know i'll hit tolerance fast when tapering). i did not know you have a science background. i love the way you write -- clinical and dispassionate (though not entirely) and always logical; always trying to understand, rationalize, explain. beautiful post! i have it bookmarked for many repeat readings when i taper.

[[IG...]]

Thanks Parker

[[zo...]]

A few months ago I experimented with the form of intermittent fasting where every second day one eats only one meal of 500 calories and then eats  "normally' the next.  My normal diet is very clean being Organic and all homemade.  I only eat fish and eggs, no animal meat at all. I keep grains to a minimum, fruit to a minimum except berries, and do not take any refined sugars. I don't take tea, coffee or alcohol.

 

My plan was to hopefully assist my brain function, improve my mood ( I have have a history of brain surgery and paralysis from the removal of a tumour), possibly help w/d, increase energy, loose weight.

 

It didn't go well at all.  I found that I was getting very, very dizzy, weak, nauseous and irritable as the days went on.  I think I lasted about 9 days. It took me about two days to recover once I resorted to my usual food.  I concluded that for me in w/d it is too stressful to restrict food intake in that fashion.

 

Hi Betsy. I keep attempting intermittent fasting in the hope of improving brain function. Unfortunately I find it's harder than it sounds and I keep failing on the first fasting day!

 

-Zoner

[[su...]]

As far as diet, I've pretty much followed what Ashton recommends.  I do cook from scratch and avoid sugar and simple carbs, too much coffee, don't drink alcohol at all, etc, but here is what she says including a bit on exercise I didn't cut out....  My blood sugar levels stay more stable when I eat small frequent meals instead of 3 big meals a day....

 

DIET, FLUIDS AND EXERCISE

 

There has been increasing interest in the question of diet in benzodiazepine withdrawal, particularly in North America. What food/drinks should be excluded? What supplements should be added? These are frequent questions. In my opinion there is no need to be over-obsessive about diet. Some people advise that caffeine and alcohol should be completely ruled out. However, the point about gradual dosage tapering at home is that people should get used to living a normal lifestyle without drugs. In my experience, coffee or tea in moderation (about two cups a day), or reasonable amounts of cocoa, chocolate or coca cola, are perfectly compatible with benzodiazepine withdrawal - except in the few individuals who are exquisitely sensitive to caffeine or those with very high anxiety levels. Clearly one should not take caffeine late in the evening or drink cups of tea/coffee (unless decaffeinated) in the middle of the night if insomniac, but to prohibit a cup of tea/coffee at breakfast is in general unduly restrictive. One is, after all, striving to be normal and sociable, not fussy.

 

Similarly with alcohol: a glass or two of wine is perfectly permissible (and even said by some to be advisable for health). Although it is important not to substitute increasing doses of alcohol for decreasing doses of benzodiazepines, there is no need to deny oneself small pleasures. Moderation is the key: there is no call to be puritanical.

 

The same principles apply to food. Humans are singularly well adapted through evolution to obtain the nutrients they need from a wide variety of diets and to eliminate unwanted products. A normal healthy diet which includes generous amounts of fruit and vegetables and a source of protein and fats (from meat or vegetables), and not too much pure sugar or "junk foods", provides all the nutrients a person needs. There is no general need for dietary supplements or extra vitamins or minerals or for "detoxifying" measures. All these can be harmful in excess. Advice to cut out white flour, white sugar etc. may help certain individuals but I have also observed that overly restrictive diets can have adverse effects. Some people say they have felt much better after going on a particular diet - this makes one wonder what sort of diet they were eating before!

 

Individuals may find they are intolerant of certain foods although this is not usually a true allergy. In this case, let common sense prevail and avoid such foods for a while. If in doubt, get the advice of a reliable and unbiased nutritionist, but in general stick to a normal healthy diet without food fads. Before diets became "fashionable" thousands of people successfully came off their benzodiazepines in many different countries with widely varying dietary habits without restriction - and this continues today.

 

A normal diet includes a normal amount of fluid consumption. Requirements for water and salt vary with body size, environmental temperature, amount of exercise, etc. so cannot be stated categorically. However, there is no need to drink extra amounts of fluid during withdrawal with the idea of "flushing out impurities/toxins". The body is very good at doing this, even at minimal fluid consumption, and surplus water is simply excreted.

 

Regular moderate exercise is recommended during withdrawal as it maintains general fitness, builds up stamina, increases the circulation to brain, muscle and skin and improves mood, but there is no point in slavishly doing exercises that you hate. The aim is to lead a healthy lifestyle which by definition includes some exercise in a form that is enjoyable for you.

 

 

Sunnyside

[[...]]

My personal experience has been that the LONG TERM benzo use and benzos in general can cause all kinds of health problems.  Just like toxins or a bad diet can. Here is a deactivated link to an  article I read online about the liver and bad ldl cholesterol and how toxins and prescription medications can be a "root cause" for the metabolic and other problems many benzo users face and how there are many factors involved here besides the benzos and including the benzos.  This article is VERY LONG, but it is the best article I have ever read to help me understand what I believe long term benzo/seizure med (dilantin) use has done to my system and the article is based on and emphasizes the causes of LDL or "bad cholesterol" which can be a problem for those on benzos or going through benzo withdrawals and don't understand why they are having so many physical problems having to do with all systemic functions of the brain and body.  The article is entitled "The Five Key Things You Can Do To Lower Your Cholesterol".  In my opinion it is the BEST read I've read so far about the physical and digestive, etc. issues many long term users face that go on indefinitely.  Like I said, this article is VERY LONG........ but I believe worth the read in better understanding why we have so many health problems that I believe many are due to benzos and other rx meds, not just diet, exercise, etc....please take the time to read it all.  I don't think you will regret it.

 

 

Here is the deactivated link and keep in mind my reason for posting this link is not to promote any diet or products.  Just cut and paste it into your browser to read.  These are individual choices we all have to make and some are able to do okay, no matter what the lifestyle is, but I truly am convinced that LONGEVITY of an unhealthy lifestyle of any kind will catch up with anyone given enough time.  When I read this article, it opened my eyes more to the "big picture" as to the root causes of most health problems.  We are mortal humans and we "wear out" just like a car does when we put more miles on it or drive it carelessly.  It's important what oil we put into the engine and gas, too.  I think this article is in line with the thread although not written from the perspective of someone who has or is going through benzo withdrawals.  I suspect that one of the reasons Parker made this awesome post is to help us ALL have a better understanding of as many aspects as we can of this experience.

 

[nobbc]http://www.wellnessresources.com/health/articles/the_five_key_things_you_can_do_to_lower_ldl_cholesterol_healthfully/[/nobbc]

[[su...]]

This will hopefully be an encouraging email to make you feel SAFE and ENCOURAGED.

 

As some of you may know, my degrees are in speech-language pathology (B.A and M.S.)

As part of my Masters study, a big portion of my classes were in neuroanatomy and physiology.

I learned firsthand how to look at a person who had just undergone a stroke or brain injury and read the symptoms, the radiology reports, the doctor's notes,  and based on those symptoms, to form an image in my mind of what was affected in the brain injury - as well as how to formulate a treatment plan to help that person rehabilitate. For a therapist in a hospital, it is much more than "speech and language". It is about reteaching how to swallow, eat,  rebuilding memory, rebuilding concentation and attention, rebuilding focus, rebuilding executive functioning skills (planning and acting on a plan) -pretty much ANYTHING that is involved in "thinking" that helps you get OUT of a coma, OUT of a hospital, and back to life, work, and school. 

 

I had NO idea I would ever personally undergo a brain injury.  But insomuch as I have now indeed endured one, I often laid there in waves and attempted to "analyze and decipher" what was happening in my brain as I healed. I thought you all might like to read this. It gives potential answers to all the "WHY?" questions we have about what is happening to us mentally.

 

First of all, a TRUTH to accept is that WE HEAL.  I have seen people emerge from comas who cannot remember who they are - HEAL.

They can't remember how to walk (we do).

They can't write their names (we can).

They cannot tell you the year or the president (I was SO bad I was unsure of this at times, but generally, I was oriented to this).

They often cannot remember family members (we can -our D/R can be hideous, but we remember them).

THEY have to work through many hours of therapy to heal. But most of them do - and from TRAUMATIC PHYSICAL brain trauma that can tear tissue and tear nerves.

We have none of that. We don't have to undergo therapy. We simply have to wait.

 

Most of us, me included, didn't expect the temporary "brain injury" we got when jumping off benzos.

But I am starting to realize through my own experience and my educational background, that there is a PURPOSE in every symptom we have.  I have had months and months to analyze what is likely going on in the brain at a gross level - and I want to attempt to explain certain symptoms in a way that we can visualize - so that they are less "scary" and more "telling" of the healing that is happening.

 

First off - let's start with GABA and Glutamate. Most of you may know how this works by this point. But for those that don't, we have a huge nervous system of millions of nerves (neurons).  They don't "touch" each other. They are separated by a tiny space in between. However, they communicate via chemicals. The 2 MAIN chemicals in the entire nervous system are the BIG GUNS.  They are GABA and Glutamate. They are BOTH at work at ALL times in the CNS.  It isn't like one is working and then the other is working. They are BOTH ALWAYS working in tandem to control every aspect of movement, sensation  - everything. They take the incoming information and appropriately pass it along - they "trim up" the information appropriately so that we can process it.  They are like the steel structure of a building.  The entire building needs a steel structure to stand. 

 

GABA is inihibitory.  If a nerve releases GABA - it is to Inhibit function - this could be to "slow it down" or it could be to "limit the sensory input" so that we can process it.  In the same way, GABA might be released to help "steady" your hand while doing something like painting a very detailed painting.  GABA "shores up" movements to make them more fluid.  That's just in a nutshell. Of COURSE it does a lot more than this, but the idea is that GABA is present in the ENTIRE CNS and ALWAYS working to balance every sensation, movement, etc.

 

Likewise, Glutamate is the balance to GABA. It is the "excitatory" transmitter. It fires to speed things up - to initiate action - to make things "go".  There's a lot more to it, but Glutamate is kinda the opposite of GABA. 

 

BOTH are required to work at all times.  Neurons are ALL ALWAYS firing off GABA and Glutamate on a endless cycle all throughout the nervous system. It's quite amazing really.

 

What does a benzo do?  If a person is anxious - they may be so stressed that they cannot overcome a very traumatic event or anxious situation.  If a doctor prescribes a benzo - the benzo comes in and sorta "holds the door open" for ALL the GABA in the system to FLOOD into the nerves - even when that is not what the nerves would actually want to occur. The immediate effect is that EVERYTHING ni the body SLOWS DOWN and is inhibited. This might be helpful during surgery, for anesthesia, for a seizure disorder.  Yes - the benzo - by definition - will act on GABA and "slow everything down".  And yes - the net effect of this is that a person may feel drowsy, calm, less anxious... everything is being inhibited.    And in general, taking a benzo for "one day"  is okay. When the benzo is gone, the body just reverts back to regular operation.

HOWEVER, if a person takes a benzo day after day,  while indeed the person feels less anxious, the body begins to realize that it cannot DO the things it needs to do in this very slowed-down neuron state. It cannot make hormones. It cannot create enzymes. It cannot digest correctly. It cannot keep a heart going efficiently. It cannot get enough oxygen- and on and on. The body NEEDS to run at "normal" speed - not this "inhibited speed" all slowed down. 

But what can the body do? It cannot "remove the benzo" from the system. The only choice the body has to maintain a regular speed is to do two things ..  It can TURN OFF it's own GABA receptors - thereby rendering those benzos unable to affect the GABA in the system. And it can grow MORE excitatory Glutamate receptors to counteract the slow-down.  And that's kinda exactly what happens....

 

Only - this isn't true balance either.  The body does the best it can - but over time, things begin to suffer.  The body cannot make enough serotonin in this state. Or dopamine. Some things get made in excess - and other things do not get made enough!  During this time, a person may not be aware this is all going on. He may not be able to perceive any difference. But ONE day - the person may wake up sad - or not sleeping well - or unable to remember things fully - or his vision doesn't look right....and it becomes apparent the person has "hit tolerance".  The body is taking the same amount of drug -but try as it might, it just cannot overcome what has occured. It can take weeks, months or years to hit tolerance. Some people do and some don't before trying to get off benzos.  (I did. - it took me 9 months to hit tolerance.  But it was fast.  Once I hit it, I could notsleep more than 6 hours on all that klonopin AND Ambien! I couldn't remember things last week. I was crying all the time... something was wrong.)

 

The process to reverse this takes a while.  GABA receptors have to UPregulate and effectively "reopen" or "grow back".  Glutamate receptors must DOWNregulate, or effectively "turn off" or "prune back".  And IN this mix, all the smaller monoamines (neurotransmitters like serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine) must somehow find a way to synthesize in the mix.  Through weeks and months the body is rebuildling millions of neurons, and changing pathways, rebuilding GABA, downregulating Glutamate, rebuilding serotonin, rebuilding dopamine, rebuilding norepinephrine.  And ALL the enzymes and hormones that need to be made are attempting to be made while this is going on.  Basically- you have a building where the MAJOR streel structures are trying to be rebuilt at different times - ALL while people are coming and going in the building and attempting to work.

 

It would be like if the World Trade Center Towers hadn't completely fallen - but had crumbled inside in different places.. Imagine if you were trying to rebuild the tower - WHILE people were coming and going and trying to work in the building!  You'd have to set up a temporary elevator - but when you needed to fix part of that area, you'd have to tear down that elevator and set up a temporary elevator somewhere else. And so on. You'd have to build, work around, then tear down, then build again, then work around, then build... ALL while people are coming and going, ALL while the furniture is being replaced, ALL while the walls are getting repainted... ALL while life is going on INSIDE the building. No doubt it would be chaotic. That is EXACTLY what is happening with windows and waves.  The windows are where the body has "got it right" for a day or so - but then the building shifts and the brain works on something else - and it's chaos again while another temporary pathway is set up to reroute function until repairs are made. 

And just like the Twin Towers- it's possible - but the buiding is a major effort -and it takes a good year or more sometimes.

(Now look at the new Tower that stands at Ground Zero!  It's taller, stronger, and a symbol of freedom.  JUST like you will be!  )

 

So - okay - what is happening in that chaos?  What parts of the brain are responsible for these symptoms? 

 

Now, I don't "know" the following based on research, because not enough research has been done yet  - but based on my studies in neuroanatomy and my own withdrawal experiences, here is how I have analyzed what is "happening" during wave symptoms. Remember, I have had to look at radiology reports of brain damage and estimate what a patient might present with - so this is very similar. Instead of a radiology report showing me what has been damaged, I'm using my own brain symptoms to surmise what is going on....

 

Let me first list brain structures and their functions. This will help you understand where things happen in the brain and when symptoms occur, what may be happening.

 

BRAIN STRUCTURES

- amygdala  - This is the FEAR center in the brain. It's a tiny part in the middle of your brain. Fear is protective and it's GREAT if you need to assess something that is dangerous and to ACT  - like if a rabid dog were chasing you. - but it's hard in recoveyr when it's all you feel for months! But the FEAR is not truly in your MIND. It's in your BRAIN.  There is too much glutamate acting here in the amygdala and not enough GABA. So the nerves are firing off in the fear center when nothing scary is really there in your environment.  It is normal for that to happen given the circumstance physiologically. But it feels awful, doesn't it?  I know.  But it's just a brain structure. This can account for fear, agoraphobia, fear of water, fear of anything.  It's not that you're really "scared" of the moon - it's that you're in almost constant fear because this brain structure is healing. The glutamate is pruning back. The GABA receptors are opening back up.  It may or may not continue for awhile. It will abate. Then come back. But eventually, the brain will get it right. 

 

-Hippocampus - This is the "memory" center of the brain. It ties in old memories to emotions.  The same thing is happening here that is happening in the amygdala with GABA and Glutamate. So - voila. You get intrusive memories from ALL times in your life.  It's wild and wicked and wooly. But it can't hurt you. And if you can learn to visualize this as what is happening - then you can learn to be objective and realize it's normal.  And like the amygdala - it will come and go and frustrate you, but it will go away when the physiology is restored.

 

Hypothalamus This is the structure that is responsible for regulating body temperature. In early withdrawal, my body temperature would drop to 96 degrees in waves! Then 3 hours later, it would return to normal. I'd literally freeze in terror in bed for hours.  I am sure it is more complicated that JUST the hypothalamus, but I could picture this part of my brain retuning and restructuring, and it was less scary that way.

 

The following structures in the brain are part of the "gray matter" or the "cortex "and what we consider to be the "higher brain"- the thinking and processing parts.

 

Frontal Lobe This is the part of the brain behind the front of the skull. It is responsible for planning things. For making decisions. For inhibiting emotions appropriately.  It is the part of the brain you need if you want to make a sandwich and need to get out the ingredients and actually make the sandwich. I have seen people with brain injury be able to TELL you how to make a sandwich - but when they are standing there in front of all the ingredients, they cannot actually move to act to make it! They have frontal lobe damage. They can TELL someone how to make it. But they cannot themselves initiate doing it! As you can imagine, with therapy, and time to heal, this goes away. And we are a lot like this - but it goes away for us, too.  I could not organize my children't toys just 4 months ago.  Not a simple room of toys. I didn't know where to start and I literally could not mentally do it. I imagine this is partly why.  No frontal lobe GABA. And too much Glutamate.  But now, check out this post I"m typing.  Obviously that changed.

This calms down and these things come back.

 

Occipital Lobe This is the vision center. t's at the back of your skull.  In recovery, my nerves have been all wacked here. I see things as too bright - possible due to this lobe - and/or the actual visual nerves in the eyes.  But no doubt people "see things" that aren't there.  Vision is distorted. Things go blurry.  Colors are totally off.Brightness is off.  There are a hundred symptoms possible in vision alone!  But again - it's a matter of time.

 

Vestibular System This is the system of semi-circular canals in the inner ear that are responsible for making you feel balanced in space.  When this is "off" or damaged temporarily, you feel dizzy. Oh man, was I dizzy. Early off - I felt like I lived in a funhouse.  Over time, a combination of this vestibular system and my damaged visual system made things look like they were "leaning". To this day, one eye sees things "correctly" and the other eye sees things as SLIGHTLY leaning. And it's not that the eye itself is seeing them that way.  The healing vestibular system is working WITH the eye to "tell" the brain that that object looks like it is "moving left-wards" or "leaning". But it isn't.  In waves, this can happen bad - and then be GONE - poof - in a window. This is just the vestibular system healing. It's gotten WAY better.

 

Temporal Lobe  These lobes are on the side of your brain on each side near your ear. It makes up the whole left and ride side of your brain.  This is where auditory information is processed, including hearnig itself, but also the "Meaning" of what we are hearing, as well as part of speech and language, emotion, and buncha other stuff.  In early recovery, someone was talking to me and I couldn't tell you what they said past the first sentence.  My auditory processing was ALL messed up.  I couldn't picture what a person was saying to me in real time - and by the time I caught up to them, I was lost and they were talking about something else! Also - When I was laying there in bed, I could "hear" things that weren't there in the noise of my box fan. I'd hear the fan blowing -but I also "heard" like sickening circus music. I believe this is because there is noise coming into my ear - but my brain cannot adequately "prune" what it is hearing at differnet frequecies because there is not enough GABA to inhibit it to create something meaninful.  There was all this "noise" and my brain was just firing off glutamate.  So instead of actually "processing" the noise - it was firing off ideas about what it was hearing - and they were ALL wrong.  I would be hearing what sounded like circus music - and at the same time, my poor brain was looking through my hippocampus to find all the memories I ever had of being at the circus - and then I'm reliving those memories- and at the same time, my amygdala is getting fired upon - so I'm in fear. So I'm a quivering mess of a person laying in the bed hearing and seeing things and remembering times in my childhood and scared to pieces.  Seriously? Yes - I felt crazy. But not in my MIND.  It was my BRAIN.  It's the BRAIN.  And it's normal. The structures in the brain are "obligated" to work this way.

 

That brings me to my next point... WHY do all of us in benzo recovery have generally the same symptoms? Well - it may make you feel calmer to realize that our brain structures are NOT broken. They are doing EXACTLY what they are supposed to do under the circumstances.  And all of our perceptions of what we are seeing, feeling, hearing- are normal because the parts of our brains that are firing off are doing so because a) They still DO work. b) They work just as they were intended to. c) They are actually healing as all this firing is going on. 

 

Why the depression and anxiety? It's so complicated, but this WHOLE system is interdependent. At that SAME time as ALL this stuff is going on, the entire body is trying to heal in every place GABA and Glutamate naturally act (uh - and that would be - EVERYWHERE).

The intestines, stomach, eye balls, skin, toenails - seriously - where do we NOT have nerves? 

Anything we didn't have as a pre-existing condition is fair game for being affected by the recovery that takes place. 

This includes the body's own ability to make serotonin that is required to feel "balanced" and "happy". And you guessed it. This is not being made very efficiently in a building that is under major construction. So - you may get a day or so of feeling good - and then - boom - that's gone until you can make enough serotonin.

Oh - and by the way - serotonin HELPS TELL THE NERVES WHEN TO RELEASE GABA AND GLUTAMATE! Ha!

So on top of needing GABA to make serotonin, you need serotonin to regulate the release of GABA into the system! 

How much more interconnected can you get?  God - it's a wonder it knows how to heal at all!  But it does!  Amazing to me, really.

 

This is just some limited information to give an idea of what is going on in neurophysiology.  Obviously this is very cursory and not super detailed. But there is a bigger point here than "what parts of the brain are affected". 

The point REALLY is - IF  YOU KNOW that symptoms are tied to parts of a NORMAL brain under reconstruction, then you can begin to rest a little more easy in your mind that under the circumstances, the symptoms themselves are a GOOD sign. 

Without intrusive memories - as awful as they are - especially when mixed with fear - but without them, your memory itself would not heal.  It IS healing - and when you are having intrusives, try to think of it that way.  Tap your finger to your temple and say to yourself, "I know what this is. This is my hippocampus healing! Ha!" Because it IS.  And if it were NOT healing, you would not be having those symptoms.  ANY part of the brain or body that needs to heal is going to "experience" something in the form of symptoms - and you are going to notice that. But it is part of  process that is inevitably returning to the balance that it could not achieve while we were still putting those pills in our mouths.  (And if you're tapering, this is still happening - just likely with less trauma than with what happened to me when I cold-turkeyed.)

 

So - when you have symptoms - know that symptoms themselves are a way for you to know that healing is taking place.

 

And finally - realize that the DRUG is GONE.  This is withdrawal - yes - okay -we call it withdrawal -  but it's really "recovery".

The benzos are gone. The "evil drug" is no longer there.  The symptoms that are left are not the "enemy". That's our brains doing the EXACT right thing. What's happening to our brain at this point is not the "benzo beast" It's OUR BRAIN recovering.

Not to degrade anyone who calls it the benzo beast - I get that. But just so you know - you're not really fighting a beast.

You don't even need to fight it.  Just wait it out. All that reconstruction is happening on your building.

And soon - the frame will be back standing, stronger than before. The furniture will be inside. The elevators will go all the way up to the top again.  And the people can come and go and work like a well-oiled machine. 

Don't feel you need to fight the recontruction. It's just healing. And all that is happening to us is a sign of that.

 

Hope this helps somebody a little - or maybe a family member. 

 

And if you ARE a family member, please realize that those of us in recovery are no more in control of how we feel or what we experience than people who have undergone brain trauma in a car accident. Please be patient with us, because our brains are healing and we are in the process of reconstruction - and our function is temporarily enabled, then disabled, then enabled, then disabled again.  And that is totally normal and expected.  We can no more help that than a person can "want" to wake up out of a coma. It happens when the brain is able - and not out of sheer will.  But it does happen. So please stand by us and say loving things and reassure us every day. Notice our improvements and tell us what they are.  Encourage us when we feel good.  And when we don't, just hold us and hug us and tell us it will be okay.  Anything you would say or do for a family member that had had a car accident and a brain injury - please do that for us.  And be patient... we are getting there.

 

:)Parker

 

 

ADDENDUM

 

I got a great PM from a buddy asking "What about the physical symptoms of pain?" - and think it deserves some theoretical attention.

 

I want to take some time to add some theories about PAIN and physical symptoms such as burning, akathisia, and tingling, prickling, and things that happen during recovery of this nature.

 

I will also add this as an addendum to the original post on page 1.

 

First off, let it be said that I can only "theorize" as to this, - I am not a doctor.  But I DO think logical theories are helpful because they give us a story and mindful logic to cope with in the MEANTIME as we are going through this.

 

So these are multiple sources of information that I'm tying together - some are from nerve regeneration, and some are from what we know about "how the brain works".  And some or ALL of this is likely going on when it comes to pain and skin/muscle sensations:

 

First off - I think a good quote comes from a Plastic Surgery practice that has published things on "nerve regeneration after injury". 

 

The quote follows:

 

"The usual events associated with normal nerve regeneration can be painful. As the regenerating ends of the nerve, called sprouts, travel, they make contact with each other and with structural proteins. The neural impulses generated by this activity may be interpreted by your brain as pain. It should be expected that for the time period associated with nerve regeneration there may be pain sufficient to need therapy and/or pain medication. Just understanding that this is expected to occur, and is "good pain'; or pain for a good reason, is enough to help many people adjust to its presence.  This condition is not just one of pain, but is associated with over activity of the sympathetic nervous system, so that the area of pain is a different color, like pink or purple, and is usually a different temperature, like cooler, than the surrounding non-painful skin."  http://www.riversongplasticsurgery.com/pdfs/nerve_injury_nerve_reconstruction_recovery.pdf

 

Well- this article isn't talking about "benzo - related nerve damage. It's talking about nerve damage caused by physical trauma of crushing, cutting, or compressing nerves. But what can we glean from it nonetheless?

 

We can assume that if the sympathetic nervous system is involved in the presence of pain related to healing nerves - AND IT IS- that it is also NORMAL for us to have pain as we are undergoing healing.

 

When I was in earliest recovery, I would often get out of the shower and have pink spots all over my feet and my abdomen. At first they were bright pink for about 2 months - and then they faded out and I don't have them anymore.  I have no idea what they were - but they were NOT there 12 days prior to my rapid taper - and then they showed up.  The spots weren't symmetrical - they followed no pattern, but they were alway in the same place on my skin.  And only after getting out of the shower.  It is easy to see how the nervous system could be involved in skin redness, irritation, and weird feelings associated with recovery.

 

Likewise, throughout recovery, I've had and continue to have cooling, burning, prickling and occasional stabbing sensations. I've had it feel like my skin was "wet" when there was no water on it.  Again, though. This is all normal - and like the quote says above.."Just understanding that this is expected to occur, and is "good pain'; or pain for a good reason, is enough to help many people adjust to its presence."  It doesn't make the pain FEEL any better in the moment, but it does help us not to become anxious about it. It's normal.  And it's a sign of healing.

 

What about akathisia?

Well  - from the reading, the exact cause of akathisia is not 100% conclusive, but it seems to be related to dopaminergic and/or noradrenergic activity in the brain  (dopamine and norepinephrine or noradrenaline as it is also called). These are just neurotransmitters - and it doesn't look (to me) to be exactly conclusive WHY this happens - but akathisia can happen after the use of many psychoactive drugs- not just benzos - and likely because anything that alters brain chemistry can alter dopemine and norepinephrine. So - okay. That makes sense.  We all took "brain altering" drugs - and now some of us have akathisia.  Guess what?  It seems pretty normal!  It's not fun. But it's normal.  And it can come and go and then go away eventually.  For me, I didn't get akathisia at all until month 8. It was a surprise.  It was intense and awful. But it passed in a few weeks. Since then, I have had it off and on - but not to that degree.  And now - it's mostly just annoying.  Something as simple as a good hard cry in the bathtub can COMPLETELY remove it at times.  And other times, I just have to wait for a wave to pass. But all in all, from all this information - it's normal. And the fact that it's coming and going and I'm getting hit here and there - it's a sign that the wheels are turning up there in the noggin - and things are shifting and attempting to rebalance.  So if we can keep that quote in mind - it's normal - and while the sensation itself is very uncomfortable - if not painful - it can be regarded as a "good pain" if we are able to recognize that our feeling it means we have a brain and nerves that are regaining their abilities to function.

 

Likewise, as a scab heals over a wound, the new skin formin underneath can become "itchy". Why does this occur? Why does a scab itch?

 

"The itch of a healing wound is caused by the growth of new cells underneath the old scab. New skin cells would be growing underneath, and as they form a new layer of skin, then the scab becomes more tightly stretched over this zone of activity. This can make it feel itchy. The itch sensation for burn survivors may be a tingling feeling caused by nerves re-growing, or from dry skin caused by the lack of natural oil production since oil glands may have been damaged or destroyed by the burn. As the nerves grow and start to receive and send messages, they may create that itchy feeling. The skin in this area will be a lot less thick than everywhere else, so these new nerve cells will be under a lot more pressure. Itching is a sign of healing." (Mayo Clinic)

 

As we can surmise, the umpteen bajillion sensation we have going on are not 100% conclusive in their origins....HOWEVER...

There IS a trend.

 

From what it seems like from all the reading...

NERVE REGENERATION CAN CAUSE UNPLEASANT SENSATIONS. As counterintuitive as it is,  HEALING CAN FEEL LIKE HURT.

But it's NOT further hurt or damage. It's the REVERSAL of damage. 

 

Um  - yeah - okay. Great - but what do I DO about it.

 

Pretty much the things that I have discovered that help through this healing are to "CONFUSE" the nerves as much as possible, IF possible. 

What? Confuse the nerves?

 

You know how you get a cut or an insect bite and you immediately press on it to make it feel less painful? What you are doing when you press or squeeze the area is "desensitizing' the entire skin region of the cut by applying pressure to ALL the nerves in the area. That way, the ONE sensation of pain from the cut isn't the only thing your brain is feeling.  The pressure from pushing down on  ALL the nerves in the area helps to send multiple sensation to the brain to "counteract" the pain sensation.  And it works.

Similarly, other things can help "confuse" nerves:

-Heat

-Cold

-Deep Pressure

- Massage

-creams like "Icy Hot" with menthol

 

All of these things have helped me cope in recovery.

 

Let me take it one by one:

 

Heat: I took and STILL take hot baths almost every day. In the peak of akathisia, I lived in the tub.   As hot as I could stand it really helped me. All the heat was "overregistering" in my brain and I was unable to feel the akathisia as much when in the tub. It was confusing the nerve signal and it was temporary relief.  I hated those days. But I got through them.  Likewise, a heating pad for pain was my friend a lot of the time. 

 

-Cold -  I used a cold washcloth on burning skin - and on my face and hands - and kept dipping it in ice water and applying it.  This is an easy one, but it helped. I had a wave with 3 days of "fireface" last month and all I could do was apply the washcloth, lay there and think about how "this is healing" and keep going. But the wave passed.

 

Deep Pressure  I use a 15 pound weighted blanket to sleep. I have for YEARS. I ordered it online. It has many pockets with little plastic balls equally distributed to create a very heavy blanket that creates "deep pressure". This kind of pressure is calming for anyone's nervous system. Occupational Therapists use it for children with autism, but people with anxiety can benefit from sleeping with one. And in recovery, I was glad to have it.  I used it often together with a heating pad.  It took the edge off just long enough. 

 

Massage This one CAN be helpful - but sometimes not.  I used to ask my husband just to "press down" on my head or my legs.  Just press there. Don't rub.  My skin hurt too much to rub, but the deep pressure from pressing was helpful. Other times, the actual massage was a help for sore muscles.  I was too agoraphobic to schedule a REAL massage. LOL. But just this help from my family was nice to have.

 

Creams You're going to laugh, but there was a day that I put Vick's VapoRub on my face because my face was so HOT!  I figured if this is safe for my baby's skin, it's probably okay to try it on my face.  It worked! Oh man - my face felt SO good all day.  I used that for a few days until the wave passed.  I have also tried "Icy Hot" on my back when it was sore.  Things like this work on the same principal to "confuse the nerves".  If your nerves are too busy feeling the heat/cool of menthol, they cannot simultaneously feel "pain". So for a short time, the pain is not "felt" even though the "soreness" is technically still there.

 

All of these are ways I have coped.  I'm sure there are others you guys have used!!

 

The broad idea here is that

1) Healing is happening.

2) The sensations that feel like injury are NOT injury. They are the CORRECTION of nerve injury.  They just "fire off" as they heal.

3) We can use some things to cope.

4) It's going away in time.

 

I know this is not a "fix" to the feelings.  There is nothing anyone could say to me while I was IN pain that made the PAIN better.  All I could do was cope and cry and try to get through it.  But knowing it's normal and that I'm not getting worse; I'm getting better - is always something I benefit from knowing. 

 

I still get these symptoms - and I'll be SOOOOOO glad when they are gone.

 

Thanks to the Benzo Buddy that brought this up. 

 

:)Parker

 

Wonderful post! Thanks!  Will be printing out for reference. 

[[Jo...]]

thank you for posting this ... wonderful read and very insightful and helpful. 

[[Sk...]]

So many things that I can't list them all here. 

[[Th...]]

thank you Thisbe and Hoping2bFree,

 

the wave, my wave came on when i made that post last night and is going even stronger right now. i posted a new topic about it. i can't believe it. i thought i had turned a corner. i was feeling better. all i can still do all day long is just lay on the couch. but i am sleeping a lot. this is a bad wave. i don't know what's going on?

i will definitely keep doing the research on the fish oils. do you think that nordic naturals fish oil caused you to have a bruise?

pretty

 

Hope things are getting easier Pretty.  I have no idea about the fish oil and the bruising - all i know is that they started around the same time.  I still have some of the bruises on my knee but haven't noticed any bad new ones and am still taking the same amount of the oil (my doctor didn't want me taking more than 1/2 tsp). 

[[be...]]

Thanks Kian and Sunnygirl....sooo very tired tonight but def want to read your Posts when I am atad more alert.

 

Happy Holiday!!

 

BB.

[[Sk...]]

What is happening in my brain at the moment?... It is healing!! 

[[sa...]]

Hi Parker.

I have been reading your post on fish oil.  I can not seem to find again what dose you are taking.  Would you mind clarifying your dose of fish oil, vitamin D3 and magnesium.  I am in a horrible wave and found out my d level is only 12.  I would also like to know what time of day you take these.  I know it is in the thread somewhere but I can not find it now.

I really enjoy reading all of your posts.  Thank you!

 

I tried to pm you but your box is full.

 

Are you still seeing improvements from these supplements and what symptoms do they seem to help?

[[be...]]

Hey Parker....I am also wondering what your combination is for the Vitamin D, Fish Oil and Mag.

 

Also....any thoughts on types, brands, etc.

 

BB.

[[sa...]]

Hey Parker

One more question for you.  Do you have an opinion on immuniglbulins added to whey protein in benzo withdrawal?