The Klonopin Klub

[[Su...]]

 

To all Klubbers,

I've been following the Klub thread for quite a while and I think you are such kind, considerate people! The KKlub posts make me smile! So thank you for brightening my day up!

For those of you living in NE USA, I'm thinking of you. I follow the news, thinking how much more scary withdrawing would be if I had a hurricane to deal with.

Lots of Love,

Sun

[[Su...]]

Does anyone struggle with COG FOG all the time?

[[ja...]]

Hey all! Happy Monday. I'm at work, but we don't have email (we do have the Net) (obviously). I'm also usually on the phone all day with Business Development, and the phones aren't working. It's really ok...I have plenty to do. Like surf the Net.  Kidding...

 

Thanks for all of your thoughts on both alcohol and sleep. Yesterday we had to get gas and drove to south Jersey and made a day of it...we went to 2 wine tastings. Sounds like a lot but they were just little jiggers. We were all done by 4:30 PM and I was monitoring twitches. Nothing yesterday. So I guess it all depends. I'm not going to test it daily, though... And I slept well on 1 Benedryl. So I'm going to try cutting it in half tonight.

 

I thought I had brain fog but it turns out I had a cold. Go figure.

 

So, those of you who are in your first month, my experience with that was that on the second week all symptoms hit me with a huge wave and did not dissipate until the second month. I had no balance and was dizzy all the time. Sounds felt like they were coming from across the room, as well as my voice. I remember asking my friends if I was speaking gibberish because every sentence felt forced. This in addition to GI problems, twitching so bad I felt like I was about to have a seizure (didn't), inability to catch my breath, a lot of difficulty swallowing. Sounds were so loud in my ears...it sucked.

 

But there was a great point to all this and that was that every day things became more vivid and beautiful, everything! This Autumn has been spectacular. I also started feeling things I hadn't felt in 20 years, like I was suddenly young again. It was a shock to realize that I was married (twice), settled down with a great guy, had a good job.

 

So, point being - hang in there, everyone! The w/d effects will be replaced by a new world-view before long. The only reason I can be bright and shiny almost every day is that I have so much to be thankful for.

 

Have a wonderful day. 

[[Tr...]]

Hey everybody!

 

I’m kind of popping in here- I check in on this thread from time to time and it is very helpful.

 

Jaxnj, your post caught my attention this morning. I’m still in the beginning of my taper, and really trying to concentrate on things I’m thankful for, as I know that is what will carry me through this process. My anxiety is high today, and your post reminded me that even though my anxiety is much higher, there are good things that I have already noticed even with such a small drop. I’m pretty sensitive to this stuff, so the small dose I’m on was making a huge difference in the way I felt.

 

One thing I have I have been thinking about that is related to actually feeling things again, is that I feel like I have had more trouble feeling empathy for others. This is something I have always been almost too good at, so it‘s pretty much a huge personality change, at least it feels like it. I hate that part, and am wondering if anyone else has noticed that.

 

Also glad to know (kind of, you know what I mean) that someone else has been having problems swallowing. I was starting to worry that something horrible was going on with my body. Aside from the reduction in K anyway.

 

My husband and I do puzzles too. We have been together for 8 years, and we glue them too. We have so many at this point we don’t even hang a lot of them up. It is something that is very calming, and a good distraction.

 

Hope everybody has a great day today!! 

 

Oh. . . another question: I have read about the use of antihistamines (sp?) and I saw somewhere that they can cause rebound anxiety in our situation. Has anybody had that problem? I would like to be able to take some benedryl in an emergency instead of a rescue dose of the K. but not if the chances are high that it could be problematic.

[[re...]]

Hey, Sundowner, Jax, et al -

 

Sundowner, I think you are exactly right about this being a kind, supportive thread.  There's a gentleness to it, and real effort to be responsive in both specific and general ways.  You asked, incidentally, about COG FOG--by "COG" I take it you mean cognitive, what some people here refer to as brain-fog?  I've never been totally sure what that term referred to, and I don't know whether that's because I never experienced it, or because I identified it differently.  I was, to a limited extent, able to muster considerable intellectual focus while I was withdrawing from clonazepam, and in fact this felt almost like a survival tactic: a desperation to focus on something that absolutely demanded my full mental attention, so that for at least a few seconds or a minute or two at a time I had something to take me away from the awfulness I was experiencing on an ordinary conscious level.  I could keep this up for an hour or two (an hour or two, I mean, consisting of intervals of focus alternating with intervals of sheer misery), and then I would be exhausted and have to stop.  What I can describe that may either be the same as or related to brain-fog is a constant disorientation, a sense that there was something more or less surreal about my life and everything that was happening in it.  Everything seemed skewed, most of all my self-perception--I often felt as though I'd been taken over by aliens.  I think I'm repeating stuff I've said before on this thread, so I won't go on at length.  But at any rate I think a sense of fogginess is a pretty normal experience for most people withdrawing from clonazepam/Klonopin, and I wouldn't be surprised if others, like you, found it to be fairly constant.  I don't know whether or not it would be helpful to you, as it was to me, to try a regimen of forced concentration for at least limited periods of time each day.  For me this not only took me away from pain and the screaming meanies for short stretches of time, it also restored to me some sense of myself, because my mind was fully engaged in what I was doing, and because I was engaged in productive activity, and I was accomplishing something measurable.

 

It sounds to me, from various people's comments here, as though doing puzzles serves this purpose for many--cf. Jax and Tranquillity.  Puzzles require a kind of patience I don't have, so trying to do puzzles while withdrawing from clonazepam would only have frustrated me (it frustrates me even at the best of times!), but in principle I think it's a fantastic method for managing withdrawal stress, and a great hobby just in general.  (Those of you with literary inclinations, see Margaret Drabble's autobiography, The Pattern in the Carpet, for more on this subject--Drabble is an inveterate jigsaw-puzzle devotee.)

 

I notice at the bottom of Jax's posts she says that she joined a journaling group, which leads me to wonder whether keeping a journal is another way to anchor oneself mentally, maybe even to some extent physically, during withdrawal.  Thoughts, Jaxy?

 

Brian, I hope you're feeling at least somewhat better today than yesterday.  Everyone who's going through this--yes, it gets so wearisome.  But then you have a good day--yes?--and you know it's all worth it.  And you sort of live for those good days, which sometimes come in sequence: a great blessing.

 

Genoa, I hope the respiratory thing is clearing up?

 

Warm thoughts going out to everyone from here in my relatively unscathed (I do know we got very lucky in this) corner of the mid-Atlantic/Northeast  -

 

Rek

[[li...]]

Thank you once again, Rek, for your delightfully sane perspective ......... especially at a time when I feel I am losing it. 

 

Maybe it's just the lower cuts, but I definitely have had enough 

 

This benzo-flu seems endless!! 

 

Just a temporary rant, everyone.  I know it could be worse.  Must stay positive ........

 

Lizie

[[In...]]

Just for information sake; cog fog, brain fog, fuzzy thinking or any similar description of mental confusion is a very common w/d sx of all benzos including klonopin/clonazepam.

 

I doubt it is any worse or any better with any benzo although my experience is limited to Xanax and klonopin.

 

Anyone that "escapes" this sx, consider yourself very fortunate. Just wanted to clarify.

 

Intend

[[Sk...]]

Hello Tranquility.

 

To answer your question about antihistamines: I have panic attacks when I take them, so I take them no more.  Others don't seem to have this problem though.

 

-SkyZone-

 

Hey everybody!

 

I’m kind of popping in here- I check in on this thread from time to time and it is very helpful.

 

Jaxnj, your post caught my attention this morning. I’m still in the beginning of my taper, and really trying to concentrate on things I’m thankful for, as I know that is what will carry me through this process. My anxiety is high today, and your post reminded me that even though my anxiety is much higher, there are good things that I have already noticed even with such a small drop. I’m pretty sensitive to this stuff, so the small dose I’m on was making a huge difference in the way I felt.

 

One thing I have I have been thinking about that is related to actually feeling things again, is that I feel like I have had more trouble feeling empathy for others. This is something I have always been almost too good at, so it‘s pretty much a huge personality change, at least it feels like it. I hate that part, and am wondering if anyone else has noticed that.

 

Also glad to know (kind of, you know what I mean) that someone else has been having problems swallowing. I was starting to worry that something horrible was going on with my body. Aside from the reduction in K anyway.

 

My husband and I do puzzles too. We have been together for 8 years, and we glue them too. We have so many at this point we don’t even hang a lot of them up. It is something that is very calming, and a good distraction.

 

Hope everybody has a great day today!! 

 

Oh. . . another question: I have read about the use of antihistamines (sp?) and I saw somewhere that they can cause rebound anxiety in our situation. Has anybody had that problem? I would like to be able to take some benedryl in an emergency instead of a rescue dose of the K. but not if the chances are high that it could be problematic.

[[Su...]]

Hey, Sundowner, Jax, et al -

 

Sundowner, I think you are exactly right about this being a kind, supportive thread.  There's a gentleness to it, and real effort to be responsive in both specific and general ways.  You asked, incidentally, about COG FOG--by "COG" I take it you mean cognitive, what some people here refer to as brain-fog?  I've never been totally sure what that term referred to, and I don't know whether that's because I never experienced it, or because I identified it differently.  I was, to a limited extent, able to muster considerable intellectual focus while I was withdrawing from clonazepam, and in fact this felt almost like a survival tactic: a desperation to focus on something that absolutely demanded my full mental attention, so that for at least a few seconds or a minute or two at a time I had something to take me away from the awfulness I was experiencing on an ordinary conscious level.  I could keep this up for an hour or two (an hour or two, I mean, consisting of intervals of focus alternating with intervals of sheer misery), and then I would be exhausted and have to stop.  What I can describe that may either be the same as or related to brain-fog is a constant disorientation, a sense that there was something more or less surreal about my life and everything that was happening in it.  Everything seemed skewed, most of all my self-perception--I often felt as though I'd been taken over by aliens.  I think I'm repeating stuff I've said before on this thread, so I won't go on at length.  But at any rate I think a sense of fogginess is a pretty normal experience for most people withdrawing from clonazepam/Klonopin, and I wouldn't be surprised if others, like you, found it to be fairly constant.  I don't know whether or not it would be helpful to you, as it was to me, to try a regimen of forced concentration for at least limited periods of time each day.  For me this not only took me away from pain and the screaming meanies for short stretches of time, it also restored to me some sense of myself, because my mind was fully engaged in what I was doing, and because I was engaged in productive activity, and I was accomplishing something measurable.

 

It sounds to me, from various people's comments here, as though doing puzzles serves this purpose for many--cf. Jax and Tranquillity.  Puzzles require a kind of patience I don't have, so trying to do puzzles while withdrawing from clonazepam would only have frustrated me (it frustrates me even at the best of times!), but in principle I think it's a fantastic method for managing withdrawal stress, and a great hobby just in general.  (Those of you with literary inclinations, see Margaret Drabble's autobiography, The Pattern in the Carpet, for more on this subject--Drabble is an inveterate jigsaw-puzzle devotee.)

 

I notice at the bottom of Jax's posts she says that she joined a journaling group, which leads me to wonder whether keeping a journal is another way to anchor oneself mentally, maybe even to some extent physically, during withdrawal.  Thoughts, Jaxy?

 

Brian, I hope you're feeling at least somewhat better today than yesterday.  Everyone who's going through this--yes, it gets so wearisome.  But then you have a good day--yes?--and you know it's all worth it.  And you sort of live for those good days, which sometimes come in sequence: a great blessing.

 

Genoa, I hope the respiratory thing is clearing up?

 

Warm thoughts going out to everyone from here in my relatively unscathed (I do know we got very lucky in this) corner of the mid-Atlantic/Northeast  -

 

Rek

Dear Rek,

Thank you for your post. The COG (or cognition) FOG makes it difficult for me to read and write. Concentration is challenging!

Sun

[[re...]]

Lizie and Sundowner, thanks for replying, and oh, do hang in there!  Concentration in my experience had to be forced, but maybe for some it simply can't be forced, and you just have to wait out the brain-fog stage of things.  I know that if I tried to sit down and simply read, I tended to leap up again between thirty seconds and two minutes later, and pace around, or go to the computer or, or, or . . . there was a long list of potential distractions.  It gets better.  You maybe don't at first notice it getting better, but then you do, and then there may be a sort of "eureka!" moment.  I'm wishing for that for you, and soon.

 

Meanwhile, isn't that odd about antihistamines, SkyZone and Tranquillity.  I wonder why antihistamines would cause panic?  I tried hydroxizine for a separate problem I was having while struggling to kick clonazepam.  I don't think it had any effect one way or the other on my state of mind, but it didn't help the other problem (which, theory had it, might have been caused by some sort of mast cell issue) or help me sleep, so I only took it once or twice. 

 

Well, friends, take good care of yourselves, and I hope you can sleep well.

 

Rek

[[br...]]

1st day back at work today.  Definitely feel cog-fog, derealization and anxiety.  I really want to level off.  I think it will be soon.  Thanks for the kind words from Lizzie, Rek and others.

 

brian

[[Tr...]]

Thanks SkyZone and rekroywen. I have taken hydroxyzine before, and I kind of want to ask for some from the doc. I know some people react badly to antihistamines normally, I have never had a problem with it before, but of course I worry that it will mess with me during the taper. Guess there is only one way to find out!

 

Hope everybody had a good day, and a better one tomorrow!

[[ja...]]

Morning, all Happy Election Day, and may the odds be forever in your favor. (Reference from The Hunger Games, which I've been having total nightmares about for the last 3 nights  )

 

Tranq, glad you brought up Benedryl as a plus or minus for withdrawal sxs. For me it has been a true plus. It is what I turned to, to take the edge off when the twitching got too much. And now it's helping me sleep because it's benign compared to Ambien. So...it worked for me. Still does, but knocks the crap out of me if I take it during the day now.

 

Ah, journaling. It has helped tremendously. I'm currently not doing it (my husband's kind of my journal, but interactive) but I probably filled over 40 journals in 35 years of writing in them. I wrote until I hit my 90 day mark and then kind of stopped. For now. Yes, Rek - I think it's a good idea.

 

My first cog-fog eureka moment was when I picked up Scrabble for the first time after jumping and, holy crap, I was GOOD! For some reason the Klonopin had blocked my ability to intellectually excel. And suddenly I was smarter than I remembered, for the last 20 years.

 

Also, my first sensory moment was when I dug into a salad about 2 days after jumping and was like, "What kind of dressing is this??" It tasted phenomenal. It was just some crappy artificial ranch but it tasted like ambrosia. So then I started tasting everything just to be sure, and the soup was amazing - the chicken unbelievable - you get the picture.

 

So, off to meditate and then dress for work...I'm thinking of all of you and hoping you are terrific. 

 

jaxnj

[[Fi...]]

I second the thumbs up for Benadryl. Its no panacea, but sometimes the anxiety level is so high that the drowsiness and fog of antihistamines are a reasonable tradeoff especially when nothing else seems to work.

 

Anyone else on US east coast in the track of the coming nor'easter?

[[Sk...]]

I suppose my body must be sensitive to antihistamines but it seems to be working for many to cope with withdraw. Although benadryll does act as a mild SSRI, since it is the precursor to Prozac, so there is a potential for dependence if taken long term for sure.  One here or there shouldn't hurt though.

 

Just wanted to say hello to all klubbers and I hope you all are doing well.  I have made a final decision on my new taper plan.  After doing research and listening to comments from other members, I have decided to go down by 0.25mg every 30 days until zero.  I don't want to deal with titration and it is too much trouble to split my pills any more than a fourth, so I have made my decision and I don't mind if I might go through some withdraw symptoms along the way.  It is nothing I can't handle.  If I am able to stick to this taper plan, I should be done within 7 months.  I won't be stuck on the k for any longer than that. 

 

 

-SkyZone-

[[li...]]

Hi everyone!

 

Skyzone -    I wish you luck with this ........ but when I tried a .25 reduction I became really symptomatic.  I hope it will work for you.  I find smaller, more frequent cuts using titration less harsh.  Everyone is different, of course.  Listen to your body and you should be fine.

 

Take care everyone ...... feeling more cheerful today ........ I hope you are, too!

 

Lizie

[[Sk...]]

Thanks Lizzie. 

[[re...]]

Hey, folks!  Jax, it's really interesting the way you describe your re-emergence into the non-benzo world: almost as if you'd been living for years in black-and-white, and then the colors began to seep back in, then pour back in, and it was glorious!  Amazing--and I'm so glad it happened for you.  Incidentally, if you like and are good at Scrabble, have you ever tried the game Bananagrams?  It's a blast--try it, if you haven't.  It's especially fun if you can get at least three or four people to play.

 

I'm not very good at keeping a journal, though I've done so sporadically.  I do a lot of correspondence, though, which perhaps serves a similar purpose.

 

Now then, SkyZone, Benadryl is the precursor to Prozac?  Really??  Wow.  How come I didn't know that?  I clearly need to understand a lot more about these medications. 

 

Lizie, SO glad you are feeling more cheerful today!

 

Brian, how's it going at work?

 

As ever, I'm not intentionally leaving anyone out--just sort of doing a stream-of-consciousness thing here.

 

I'm having more trouble lately with pain in my neck and shoulders, and now, peculiarly, in my arms, as if I'd pulled some muscles, only I don't think I have.  I just wish I could get a wrench in there and loosen the bolts on the cables, get a little slack.  It really feels as if something in there had been winched too tight, you know?  IS it delayed after-effects of clonazepam that are doing this to me, or should I be wondering about some other possible culprit?

 

Election day.  I have election-day jitters.  Hoping everyone is well, at any rate, and sending out the usual warm thoughts and wishes -

 

Rek

 

 

[[Sk...]]

@[...]

 

You are so very kind to include everyone in your posts.  That is so refreshing that you do that. 

 

-SkyZone-

[[li...]]

Thanks for the mention, Rek. .........

 

I know that tightly sprung feeling you describe .......... my neck surgery plays a role of course ...... any other variables for you to consider?

 

I find heat helps and absolutely no lifting .....

 

Lizie

[[Sk...]]

Where can I get something that will spit a pill into eights?  I tried using a box cutter, but it didn't work right.  I was thinking there has to be some way.  If not, What method of titration can I use that would not be so complicated?  i would prefer to be able to cut my pill in eighths though if possible

 

-SkyZone-

[[Fi...]]

Re Benadryl, I was so fogged this morn when I posted I neglected to post a few caveats. I only use it when absolutely necessary, only at night, only a childrens dose ( it comes in a liquid) and never two nights in a row. I do have rather severe dry mouth (but only when sleeping, go figure!?) and Benadryl definitely aggravates that.

 

Rek, I too get those shoulder/neck/back pains. They seem to come and go, not with straining but with anxiety so it seems related to w/d. Of course, I've lost so much weight and my muscles are so fatigued its hard to say for sure. Hard to view this as healing.

 

Best to all and heal dammit!

Fish

[[In...]]

Skyzone,

 

I have had to cut my K pills into eighths. My opinion of these pills in general is that they are very difficult to cut, period, whether into halfs or fourths.

 

But out of necessity, I've managed to cut them into eighths using a very heavy duty Henckels knife rather than a pill cutter.

 

Also, if you are cutting the 1 Mg pills into eighths, that is .125 Mg per eighth. If you can obtain the .5 Mg pills as part of your daily dose, ( as in taking 2 .5 Mg pills for 1 Mg), you can also cut them into eighths. Each eighth of a .5 Mg pill is .0625 Mg which is a considerably smaller dose than either .25 mgs or .125 mgs.

 

Just another suggestion.

 

Intend

[[Sk...]]

Thank you, Intend 

 

Skyzone,

 

I have had to cut my K pills into eighths. My opinion of these pills in general is that they are very difficult to cut, period, whether into halfs or fourths.

 

But out of necessity, I've managed to cut them into eighths using a very heavy duty Henckels knife rather than a pill cutter.

 

Also, if you are cutting the 1 Mg pills into eighths, that is .125 Mg per eighth. If you can obtain the .5 Mg pills as part of your daily dose, ( as in taking 2 .5 Mg pills for 1 Mg), you can also cut them into eighths. Each eighth of a .5 Mg pill is .0625 Mg which is a considerably smaller dose than either .25 mgs or .125 mgs.

 

Just another suggestion.

 

Intend

[[In...]]

Skyzone,

 

Your welcome. I hope this works for you.

 

Intend