The Klonopin Klub

[[ks...]]

LOL...Librium got me off Klonopin then fizzled out...I've been back on Klonopin .5mg 3x day for awhile. Now getting ready to try to wean off Klonopin using Trazodone 25-50mg night while weaning. Anyone tried this?

[[Bo...]]

Good news!

 

After 30 calls, I finally reached the psychiatrist I saw last week; and he agreed to write me a script for K!

 

Bicycled from Bushwick, Brooklyn into Manhattan, picked it up, and bicycled all the way back to my neighborhood CVS. 19 miles! It was a thrill.

 

The script for K for a month was even cheaper than when I get it filled in Manhattan!

 

So I'm not going to run out, I bicycled 19 miles, I got to see the "dark zone" of Manhattan's downtown (albeit during the day), I lost 2.5 lbs., and I feel great.

 

A successful day.  :-)

[[Su...]]

Dear Booklamp

Wow! Thank you for your post! I looked up Dermatillomania and realised that is what i've been doing to my back, scalp and chest since puberty. I've been so embarrassed about it. I always cover up my skin with clothes and makeup. But living in a really hot climate (Australia) makes covering up all the time quite uncomfortable!

So THANK YOU for helping me become aware of it.

I hope you have got some more K and that you are feeling a bit better?

Sun 

 

[[re...]]

BookLamp, that is AWESOME news!  Sorta confirms my theory, too, that exercise--when we can manage it in the face of debilitating symptoms--really helps.  Good for you!!

 

Genoa, how are your lungs doing?

 

KittyKat, I meant to ask you--and sorry if this is redundant because someone's already addressed it, as perhaps they did--you're familiar with the titration concept, right?

 

EVERYONE, have a good night and a good weekend--I'll be checking in to see how y'all are doing, good lord willin' and the creek don't rise, as my Southern-bred mother used to say -

 

Rek

[[Sk...]]

Hello All!  I had to up my dose to 3mg/day for now, until I get my blood levels back to normal.  I am working on planning a new taper schedule.  Any suggestions?

 

-SkyZone-

[[No...]]

After reading through a portion of this thread, it amazes me how many on K who are suffering heavily with muscle stifness/pain/tension.

 

K being an anti convulsion benzo explains it, but I did not think it was this profound. Guess I am not the only one then!

[[ja...]]

Morning, all! I've stayed about a day away from the news, watched America's Next Top Model reruns, and chilled with the Hub. Today I'm venturing out to get my nails done, have lunch with my dad, and visit my best friend (neither of them have power yet). All of us Northeast people should get together and hang out when this is all said and done.

 

I wanted to address the Trazodone. I've been on it for a few years (200 mg, why do these docs want to drug me so much???) and it does help me sleep nightly with really no side effects. I wanted to taper it a few months back but as you all can imagine, I was recently off the trip that is acute K withdrawal. You guys have reminded me that it's possible to taper that too - but...but...but. I don't want to go through that again  Any stories of Trazodone tapering?

 

Wow, a couple of us with the skin condition. I thought I was so alone. Thank you for coming forward, BL and Sundowner. I could write a whole essay on that alone, but I'll spare ya  Ew, right?

 

Kitkat, it's a good reminder that we can bust stress without the Klonopin. Took me a long time to realize that that can work too 

 

Anyway, I'm off to start the day. Still a bit foggy this morning, going to try to cut my Benedryl in half tonight. Also a cold. But hey...it REALLY could be worse...

 

Hugs,

 

jaxnj

 

P.S. If anyone feels like playing Words with Friends, my screen name is JaxyJ. Same with Scramble. 

 

[[re...]]

Good morning, Jax (Jaxy?), and everyone . . .

 

Noolie, your post prompted me to do a little keyword search, which turned up, among other things, the following:

 

http://www.benzosupport.org/alli.htm

 

This person, "Alli," reports aching joints and muscles as one of her "main symptoms, and one of the few that still remain."  This is true for me as well.  My ugly trip with clonazepam was of relatively short duration, and at a fairly low dose, but for many years before that (close to twenty) I had taken Xanax on an as-needed basis--this means I was taking it only very sparingly and occasionally, but even so I wonder whether some cumulative effect of that benzo-use is now playing into the tenacity of my most persistent post-benzo symptoms.  I'm feeling my way half-blind through this booby-trapped jungle--experimenting with things like how much alcohol I can get away with, for example, and realizing that the answer may in fact be "none at all."  Last night was an interesting experiment.  I had a beer, something I hadn't indulged in for a very long time, though I've had the odd gin-and-tonic or glass of wine (none of which, probably, was a good idea).  We watched a movie and went to bed, and for the first time in a long while my neck was pain-free (so was everything else).  Wow!  And then wow again, but a different kind of "wow": the pain was back, and worse, in the morning, along with a resurgence of pain in my knees and elbows--not excruciating, but instructive.  My theory is that the alcohol initially had some of the pain-RELIEVING effects that a dose of Xanax or clonazepam might have . . . and then in the morning it had the very same BACKLASH effects that benzos tend to have.  Ouf!  Ergo maybe I just can't drink at all, at least for a good long while?  Maybe not until I've been completely symptom-free for at least a couple of months?  There are worse prices to pay, certainly, and hey, it'll save us some money, unless I substitute some other indulgence!  Ahem.  Like buying books, an addiction I think of as harmless, except it's turning our MONSTROUSLY CLUTTERED HOUSE into a complete firetrap!!!

 

But I digress.  Oh, my friends, what a strange and tortuous road this is . . . but don't worry--I'm not going to wax poetic (if I did I'd just end up sounding like a nut-job, if in fact I haven't ALREADY created that impression!).  The point is we're all sort of subjects of our own experiments, you might say, given that such help as we can expect from the medical community is on the sketchy side.  We have to handle ourselves as carefully as a lab technician in a facility committed to the highest standards of humane and life-sustaining treatment.  It's not always easy--we don't always KNOW what's good for us. 

 

This site is good for us, that much I know.  Be well, everyone -

 

Rek   

[[Bo...]]

Dear Booklamp

Wow! Thank you for your post! I looked up Dermatillomania and realised that is what i've been doing to my back, scalp and chest since puberty. I've been so embarrassed about it. I always cover up my skin with clothes and makeup. But living in a really hot climate (Australia) makes covering up all the time quite uncomfortable!

So THANK YOU for helping me become aware of it.

 

You're welcome.

 

Dermatillomania is a crazy condition. People think it's physical, but it's really a psychological thing (similar to cutting and other types of physical self-abuse).

 

I usually attack my scalp, so the blood is mostly hidden from others. But it hurts like hell, and self-abuse is such a degrading habit, so disturbing.

 

The last couple of days I've been working hard at not touching myself. Less blood, some healing going on.

 

And yes, thank you, I DID get another month's supply of K (thank god). Brooklyn is pretty much cut off from Manhattan because of the hurricane, so there are a lot of challenges people in Brooklyn (as well as the rest of NYC) face right now.

 

As we all here know, having your supply of K stop abruptly is a dangerous situation, and I did NOT want that to happen.

 

So yes, I'm good for now. My regular doctor should have his office back up and running in a week or two, so I'll easily be able to get continuing scripts from him. I will most likely have to bicycle in (10+ miles RT), but that's OK.

 

The "covering up" behavior (with garments) that you've made a habit of in order to conceal is a behavior I've seen before; it's a survival instinct to ensure you are not ostracized by others. Good work! It may (arguably) prolong your Dermatillomania, but I'm impressed by your social survival skills. I once knew a woman who was born without most of an ear. Not even a dozen surgeries during her childhood could correct it; they only made her face look worse.  She grew out her hair really long, and then spent years developing a whole system of physical movements (mostly involving how and when she turned her head, and how she controlled the positioning of her hair). I had known her for months, including intimately, before I found out that she had only one-and-a-half ears. She was actually one of the most beautiful persons I've ever known, both inside and out.

 

Sensory feedback, perceptual interpretation (semiotics skills), and the creation of reality are SO based on consciousness, AND the moment-to-moment creation of consciousness itself. And it's all so close to the way that quantum particle physics works that it's unreal when people think that logic and "old" science are the only ways of explaining things, and/or operating as a conscious being in our universe.

[[Bo...]]

After reading through a portion of this thread, it amazes me how many on K who are suffering heavily with muscle stifness/pain/tension.

 

I have really bad bursitis on an elbow that suffered a very strong, hard, sharp physical trauma a month ago. It's swollen to the size of a golfball. Could K be partly responsible for stiffness in all my arm muscles in and near the elbow?

[[re...]]

BookLamp, I'm not sure about the swelling--maybe get that checked out?--but if my experience is anything to go by then Klonopin could definitely  have a lot to answer for as far as the aches and pains you describe.

 

SkyZone, I meant to say earlier that I hope you're not feeling discouraged--it sounds as though you're taking your cues from how you feel, and that's reasonable; a setback or two seem to happen to many, maybe most of us--but can be made up for later.  This is all sort of a guessing game, what will and won't work.  Persevere -

 

Rek

[[Ge...]]

SkyZone, if it were me, I'd stabilize on the lowest reasonable dose of klonopin for a couple of weeks (until things felt as settled as they're going to get), then start on a 7-10% taper. I've generally been cutting every two weeks, which has worked well for me.

 

My personal advice would be to stabilize, write out a taper plan, and stick to it, adjusting time between cuts as necessary to remain functional.  Since you asked. 

[[br...]]

Hello all:

 

Day 9 of my 3rd cut.  Feeling a little out of sorts.  Fatigue, headache, irritability, anxious, restless.  Just hoping things get back to normal soon - in a lot of ways.

 

brian

[[kl...]]

Morning, all! I've stayed about a day away from the news, watched America's Next Top Model reruns, and chilled with the Hub. Today I'm venturing out to get my nails done, have lunch with my dad, and visit my best friend (neither of them have power yet). All of us Northeast people should get together and hang out when this is all said and done.

 

I wanted to address the Trazodone. I've been on it for a few years (200 mg, why do these docs want to drug me so much???) and it does help me sleep nightly with really no side effects. I wanted to taper it a few months back but as you all can imagine, I was recently off the trip that is acute K withdrawal. You guys have reminded me that it's possible to taper that too - but...but...but. I don't want to go through that again  Any stories of Trazodone tapering?

 

Wow, a couple of us with the skin condition. I thought I was so alone. Thank you for coming forward, BL and Sundowner. I could write a whole essay on that alone, but I'll spare ya  Ew, right?

 

Kitkat, it's a good reminder that we can bust stress without the Klonopin. Took me a long time to realize that that can work too 

 

Anyway, I'm off to start the day. Still a bit foggy this morning, going to try to cut my Benedryl in half tonight. Also a cold. But hey...it REALLY could be worse...

 

Hugs,

 

jaxnj

 

P.S. If anyone feels like playing Words with Friends, my screen name is JaxyJ. Same with Scramble. 

 

Hey jax,

 

wanted to say i quit 200+ mg of traz in a week with zero problems, but we're all different I guess.

[[ja...]]

Thanks, Klon - good to know you didn't have problems!

 

Will talk to you all in the morning...

 

jaxnj

 

JaxyJ in Words with Friends

 

Jenny in real life 

[[Sk...]]

Thanks, Rek. 

 

BookLamp, I'm not sure about the swelling--maybe get that checked out?--but if my experience is anything to go by then Klonopin could definitely  have a lot to answer for as far as the aches and pains you describe.

 

SkyZone, I meant to say earlier that I hope you're not feeling discouraged--it sounds as though you're taking your cues from how you feel, and that's reasonable; a setback or two seem to happen to many, maybe most of us--but can be made up for later.  This is all sort of a guessing game, what will and won't work.  Persevere -

 

Rek

[[Sk...]]

Thanks for this, Genoa.  That sounds like a good idea.

 

SkyZone, if it were me, I'd stabilize on the lowest reasonable dose of klonopin for a couple of weeks (until things felt as settled as they're going to get), then start on a 7-10% taper. I've generally been cutting every two weeks, which has worked well for me.

 

My personal advice would be to stabilize, write out a taper plan, and stick to it, adjusting time between cuts as necessary to remain functional.  Since you asked. 

[[ja...]]

Morning, everyone! I just wrote an entry but then spilled coffee all over myself (a whole cup!) and lost it. 

 

All is much better here. We're venturing out to get gas today. I asked on Facebook if anyone knew of gas stations with no lines and got a few replies...it will be kind of nice to get out and take a drive.

 

Which brings me to 2 topics of interest today: alcohol and sleep. Rek, like you I have mixed experiences with alcohol. I'm a real lover of good wine (and my husband loves good beer) and the side effects are intermittent. The two biggest w/d symptoms I have when drinking alcohol are twitching in the neck and insomnia. Is it worth it, I always ask myself. But maybe everything in moderation? There are times I have no side effects with alcohol. I think if I drink wine earlier in the day it would be much better - like, it's 5:00 somewhere, lol - but there's a bit of a danger in there, I think  Thoughts?

 

Which brings me to insomnia, a w/d symptom that's near and dear to my heart.  It's the last of my sxs to go. So I want to throw my determination into getting off meds for that - I have a feeling that I will think much clearer once that is over. That means no more Ambien (done), cutting out the Benedryl (1/2 done) and then the Trazodone (200 mg). It's been a long while since I've experienced non-drug-induced sleep. 1992, to be exact. I think that if I experienced real sleep back in the day, I could do it again. Any input?

 

And my last little discovery of late that I will share, another way to relax along with meditation. Puzzles! My husband and I discovered this cool 1000 piece puzzle of a supersize burger a few months back. It took me a little bit but I just got into them and now I find them incredibly relaxing and fun. I don't think I had the patience for it before (no attention span) but I find that to chill with a puzzle is wonderful and calming. And we've also been glueing them and hanging them around the apartment. It's been brightening our place considerably - we're only married a year and a half and still putting our house together. Just my 2 cents.

 

So I wish you guys success and happiness today. Enjoy November 4, 2012...we only have one 

[[Sk...]]

Hi Jax.  I am glad the situation with the storm aftermath is improving. I still think FEMA and the government and mayor should have done a better job with relief efforts.  Wishing you the best.

 

-SkyZone-

 

Morning, everyone! I just wrote an entry but then spilled coffee all over myself (a whole cup!) and lost it. 

 

All is much better here. We're venturing out to get gas today. I asked on Facebook if anyone knew of gas stations with no lines and got a few replies...it will be kind of nice to get out and take a drive.

 

Which brings me to 2 topics of interest today: alcohol and sleep. Rek, like you I have mixed experiences with alcohol. I'm a real lover of good wine (and my husband loves good beer) and the side effects are intermittent. The two biggest w/d symptoms I have when drinking alcohol are twitching in the neck and insomnia. Is it worth it, I always ask myself. But maybe everything in moderation? There are times I have no side effects with alcohol. I think if I drink wine earlier in the day it would be much better - like, it's 5:00 somewhere, lol - but there's a bit of a danger in there, I think  Thoughts?

 

Which brings me to insomnia, a w/d symptom that's near and dear to my heart.  It's the last of my sxs to go. So I want to throw my determination into getting off meds for that - I have a feeling that I will think much clearer once that is over. That means no more Ambien (done), cutting out the Benedryl (1/2 done) and then the Trazodone (200 mg). It's been a long while since I've experienced non-drug-induced sleep. 1992, to be exact. I think that if I experienced real sleep back in the day, I could do it again. Any input?

 

And my last little discovery of late that I will share, another way to relax along with meditation. Puzzles! My husband and I discovered this cool 1000 piece puzzle of a supersize burger a few months back. It took me a little bit but I just got into them and now I find them incredibly relaxing and fun. I don't think I had the patience for it before (no attention span) but I find that to chill with a puzzle is wonderful and calming. And we've also been glueing them and hanging them around the apartment. It's been brightening our place considerably - we're only married a year and a half and still putting our house together. Just my 2 cents.

 

So I wish you guys success and happiness today. Enjoy November 4, 2012...we only have one 

[[Ge...]]

Chiming in on the insomnia question, Jax.  I don't know if it's an option for you, but neurofeedback (with a really great practitioner) has done wonders for my decades-long insomnia.  I rarely have problems now, after starting neuro a couple of most ago. The nights I do struggle are a result of emotional upheaval, not simply being unable to sleep.

 

Okay, this is weird... which makes me consider whether it's related to w/d?  I slept great for the first several hours last night, than had a nightmare where I was in extreme pain in the lower abdomen, like when I used to get screamingly painful menstrual cramps as a young person.

 

It actually woke me up, and I discovered that the pain was real, not a dream. I even started to feel nauseated, like I used to in my late teens/early 20s.

 

Without straying too far into TMI territory, this pain could not possibly be related to monthly cycle, and there's no ways could be pregnant. So this is bizarre, to say the least. I couldn't even get out of bed to find some Advil, it hurt so much.

 

After a half hour or so of misery, and wondering things like whether I had cnacer and was dying (!), I finally steeled myself against the pain and nausea and headed to the kitchen for Advil and a bucket. By the time I got back in bed, the pain had abated by about 50%, and nausea was much better, too. It all let up enough within about a half hour so that I could get back to sleep (also fighting anxiety at that point).

 

So this morning there's no trace of the pain, but my stomach is still upset. Not nauseated, but hurts. I did start Augmentin on Wednesday for a sinus infection/bronchitis, but that couldn't cause the sort of cramping I was experiencing, and it seems like if it were going to give me GI problems, it would have happened sooner.

 

I also was experiencing some weird muscle pain in the shoulders, neck, and upper arms & back yesterday.

 

All this makes me wonder if it's related to the klonopin. Does this sound at all familiar? I might post in the main support thread later, but I thought I'd start here. It's embarrassing enough in this little group!

[[Ly...]]

Hi everybody how's your weekend ? I've Been away the last few days prepping for a photoshoot by am trying to catch up.. Skyzone sorry to hear about your problems

With your taper .. I hope things are leveling off .. I'm on day 14 of being benzo free and I feel so frustrated and worried . My days are kind of the same .. I wake up with the usual bout of morning anxiety and then things feel far away and disconnected as the day progresses . The last 3 days have been awful with feelings of being disconnected from my hands and just the overwhelming since of depersonalization .. It really comes and goes and it's really crippling when Im driving or trying to engage in something creative .. It's like my head just never feels right .. Because of my head injury accident that spawned most of the anxiety disorder months ago, I'm always assuming this is what I'm left to deal with after coming off "medicine ".. It's my first time being free since April from everytjing so I'm really trying to figure it all out .. I hope everyone is doing good. I'm

Just feeling kind of down

[[re...]]

Hey, Jax, you little ray of sunshine, you!  Seriously, you always make me smile.  Sorry about the coffee spill, though!  (I hate that.  I spill and drop things all the time.  Recently I broke a beautiful blown-glass teapot that had come with me all the way across the ocean from faraway lands nearly twenty years ago.  :-(  But, after all, it's just a thing.

 

As for the alcohol--yeah, I think sometimes if you drink earlier in the day (and slowly--little sips), this can mitigate against the alcohol's interfering with your sleep.  That's been my experience, at any rate.  Maybe worth a try!

 

Before I continue--Lynn, the blues: it gets like that, I think we've pretty much all been there.  And sometimes down is really down.  But it is temporary, just doesn't feel that way sometimes.  Breathe?  I hope you feel better before the day is out! 

 

As for sleep stuff--for that midnight wakefulness, does turning on the light and reading work for anyone?  Not so easy if someone's sleeping next to you that you don't want to awaken, but sometimes it's worth tiptoeing out of the room and going to a different room to read.  But not the news, heaven help us all; something good for escape, or soothing--something meditative, or just a really good novel.  I know it's not a solution for everyone, and it doesn't always work for me, but sometimes it does.  And deep breathing, as I always say, conscious deep breathing--this has both physiological and psychological benefits.  Pain in the middle of the night--I know that one, too, and it stinks.  Breathing deeply can sometimes help, even with pain, although it sort of depends on the KIND of pain.  I wish I had more wisdom to offer.  The middle-of-the-night wakefulness is a devil.  There's a book just out, based on a New Yorker feature by Ian Frazier, called The Cursing Mommy's Book of Days, in which the narrator (the Cursing Mommy herself, who has a very foul mouth, so you have to not mind profanity--I don't--if you're going to read this book) at one point introduces her bedroom ceiling as a character in her dramatis personae.  She wakes up at 3 A.M. sometimes, and stares up at the ceiling, which begins to taunt her.  From one standpoint this is quite funny, but for many of us it's all too real.  Maybe it's not the ceiling talking to us, but whatever it is it doesn't have our best interests at heart.

 

Well, everyone, I wish you a good Sunday, and a restful night's sleep.

 

Rek

[[br...]]

Hello K-Klub:

 

Going back to work tomorrow morning - a little anxious.  Looking forward to leveling off at my current dose.  Sick of the w/d process.  Plan on staying at this dose for like 2-3months to really stabilize.  Then a slow taper to one day benzo free.  Hope all are well.

 

brian

[[li...]]

Wishing you a great day at work tomorrow, Brian.  I am also tired of the w/d process but what can we do?  Just stay positive and take one day at a time.  Not always easy, I know.

 

Hi to everyone ....... Take care,

Lizie

[[Su...]]

Dear Booklamp

Wow! Thank you for your post! I looked up Dermatillomania and realised that is what i've been doing to my back, scalp and chest since puberty. I've been so embarrassed about it. I always cover up my skin with clothes and makeup. But living in a really hot climate (Australia) makes covering up all the time quite uncomfortable!

So THANK YOU for helping me become aware of it.

 

You're welcome.

 

Dermatillomania is a crazy condition. People think it's physical, but it's really a psychological thing (similar to cutting and other types of physical self-abuse).

 

I usually attack my scalp, so the blood is mostly hidden from others. But it hurts like hell, and self-abuse is such a degrading habit, so disturbing.

 

The last couple of days I've been working hard at not touching myself. Less blood, some healing going on.

 

And yes, thank you, I DID get another month's supply of K (thank god). Brooklyn is pretty much cut off from Manhattan because of the hurricane, so there are a lot of challenges people in Brooklyn (as well as the rest of NYC) face right now.

 

As we all here know, having your supply of K stop abruptly is a dangerous situation, and I did NOT want that to happen.

 

So yes, I'm good for now. My regular doctor should have his office back up and running in a week or two, so I'll easily be able to get continuing scripts from him. I will most likely have to bicycle in (10+ miles RT), but that's OK.

 

The "covering up" behavior (with garments) that you've made a habit of in order to conceal is a behavior I've seen before; it's a survival instinct to ensure you are not ostracized by others. Good work! It may (arguably) prolong your Dermatillomania, but I'm impressed by your social survival skills. I once knew a woman who was born without most of an ear. Not even a dozen surgeries during her childhood could correct it; they only made her face look worse.  She grew out her hair really long, and then spent years developing a whole system of physical movements (mostly involving how and when she turned her head, and how she controlled the positioning of her hair). I had known her for months, including intimately, before I found out that she had only one-and-a-half ears. She was actually one of the most beautiful persons I've ever known, both inside and out.

 

Sensory feedback, perceptual interpretation (semiotics skills), and the creation of reality are SO based on consciousness, AND the moment-to-moment creation of consciousness itself. And it's all so close to the way that quantum particle physics works that it's unreal when people think that logic and "old" science are the only ways of explaining things, and/or operating as a conscious being in our universe.

Dear Booklamp,

Thank you for another interesting and very informative post!

I'm all about the hair- so that my upper back is covered (even if I'm in a swimsuit). I really freaked out about being found out- an ex boyfriend once pointed out scars on my back (needless to say I felt so humiliated, judged..). Wikipedia recommends treating it like alcoholism. So, I've been trying to go one day without touching myself-- I found this A LOT harder than I thought it would be!

Sun

 

According to Wikipedia, we should treat skin scratching like alcoholics do with alcohol.